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Health Watch and Debi Mazar on DWTS 9

Debi and Maks

This first article, from Entertainment Weekly, seriously cracks me up – it’s titled ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Health Watch. Fantastic concept, considering the fiasco that was last season which had more injuries than were even widely reported. The ignored injuries belonged to Lil’ Kim and Derek; ribs and knee, respectively. While this article claims that everyone is injury free, that’s not quite true. If you watch all the celebs and pros on twitter, you know that Derek has hurt his back/neck (again) and Mark Dacascos has a hurt foot. This article mentions, but downplays, the foot – not as sexy as a popped rib, I guess. šŸ˜‰

The 16 contestants for Dancing With the Starsā€˜ ninth season have all survived their first two weeks of rehearsal (despite this photo of Donny Osmond on the ground and Mark Dacascosā€™ much-publicized bruised sole). The celebs, who had various start dates from August 17 through August 21, were given training guidelines for the first time in the showā€™s history. Why? ā€œWhen they do the show in the UK, people take it much more like itā€™s a bit of fun, but Americans are so competitive,ā€ exec producer Conrad Green told us when the cast was first announced. ā€œEveryone comes into it, ā€˜Oh, this is a bit of fun, itā€™s a bit of funā€¦ Ohmygosh, look at his quickstep, itā€™s incredible! Iā€™ve got to do better!ā€™ We do spend most of our time encouraging people to just relax a little.ā€

ā€œOnce the first two weeks are out of the way, there should be sufficient muscle development and muscle memory to help cope with the trauma of training,ā€ Green said. Which means: Game on! The contestants are now on their own.

Article number two appears to be a rehearsal blog from Debi Mazar (who I root for when Derek and Joanna aren’t looking) from More.com, a blog celebrating women over 40. Some excerpts are below, but I highly recommend going to the site and reading the whole thing.

Itā€™s been an enlightening experience: I’ve found out that Iā€™ve been dancing sloppily for 30 years. I grew up in New York and Iā€™ve been to salsa clubs and discos; Madonna and I used to enjoy dancing together ā€œback in the day,ā€ just going out and shaking it on the dance floor. But I guess we were more into freestyle, and when you go into a ballroom dancing situation itā€™s extremely purist in form.

I have no formal dance training, so itā€™s been challenging because for the first time Iā€™m watching myself in the mirror. I do have rhythm but I donā€™t have form. Because Iā€™ve had two children and two C-sections, I donā€™t feel like I have core strength. I lost my baby weight, but I havenā€™t gone back to the gym; I donā€™t have time. But I look like a dancer, and it’s kind of working against me, because everyone goes, “Oh, you look so great, youā€™re going to be fabulous!” And itā€™s like, but Iā€™m out of shape! Why is size a factor? Why are you saying just because my arms are defined, which is god-givenā€”I havenā€™t lifted a damn dumbbell in yearsā€”that that means I can sell it?

I have to work really hard because Iā€™m completely uncoordinated. Maks says left, I go right; he says flex, I point. Iā€™ve become dyslexic out of pressure. And he’ll throw me into a pose and say, “Oh, that hurts?” Yeah, it hurts! Heā€™s always telling me how he threw Mel B. into a split, and saying, “Youā€™ll be doing splits by the end of this.” And Iā€™m like, “Listen, I have no desire to do a split. I didnā€™t do a split when I was 12, or 20, or 30, and Iā€™m definitely not doing it at 45. And if you do a split with me Iā€™m going to kick you in the balls and youā€™re going to end up in the hospital, I’m going to end up in the hospital, and weā€™re going to be eliminated! My legs are going to snap off like a Barbie dollā€™s!”

I love her. I would love to see her kick Maks in the balls, just to see the fireworks. I’m really twisted that way. šŸ™‚

My first week I was really broken and in pain because I hadnā€™t had a workout like that in a couple of years. And I picked up my daughter from camp and I was sort of crying a little bit in the car, and she goes, “Mommy, itā€™s not about winning.” Iā€™m like, “Youā€™re right, but unfortunately it is a contest and I want to stick around, I want to be good.” The thing is, Iā€™m not a competitive person but Iā€™m competitive with myself. So I have tried to take this on as a character study: Iā€™ve gotten the spray tan, which is actually required because of the lighting, and the outfits are up to your crotchā€”Iā€™m not used to showing off my body, and Iā€™m dancing in a bikini, basically. Iā€™ve gotten the nails, because it gives you pretty hands.

September 4, 2009 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS on E! News – September 4, 2009

And it’s not Donny!!! šŸ™‚ It’s Derek and Joanna – lookin’ pretty good.

First, the on-line version:

Next, the TV Version:

We can only hope he’s serious about being pants free. šŸ˜‰

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)