DWTS10 Week 3 – The Cheesecake Awards!
Welcome to the warped & ridiculous brainchild of Courtney & Heidi 
We’ve decided to give silly awards for each week’s show – some are funny, some are shameful, some are just downright ridiculous. But it’s all in the name of a good laugh and hopefully some great discussion! As for the name – we decided to call them the “cheesecake” awards due to Brooke’s awkward comment about cheesecake to Evan & Anna during week 2, and also because cheesecake can refer to anything that’s cheesy, tacky, or just funny. We plan to give the awards on Wednesdays, but this week just had too many events that begged for an award that we just had to do one for week 3. So without further ado, we’d like to bestow the first round of cheesecakes to the lucky (or unlucky!) winners…
Best use of white pants by a pro: Derek Hough
Heidi: Thank you, Baby Jesus. Um, hello there, little Derek.
Courtney: Didn’t anyone tell Derek that you aren’t supposed to wear white pants between Labor Day & Memorial Day??? Oh well, I enjoyed the view nonetheless (after Heidi brought it to my attention, of course 
). The people demand more white pants!
Best use of another pro as a prop: Jonathan Roberts & Tony Dovolani as 2 of the “Three Amigos” during Chad & Cheryl’s paso doble
Courtney: Best prop of the week, if you ask me! Any excuse to have Jonathan Roberts on camera is fine by me Too bad he & Tony were the most memorable part of this routine for me…note to all the couples: if you’re going to use a prop, make sure you don’t let it (or him) upstage you! LOL
Heidi: OMG – rolling on the freaking floor at Jon and Tony’s cheesy grins in the celebriquarium. Genius. I love the implied goofiness that dictated the use of them in another pro’s dance. I’m assuming that was Cheryl’s brilliant move. Brava! Unfortunately, Courtney’s right – those two are all I can remember from that dance.
Most indulgent song choice: “Paparazzi” for Kate Gosselin’s paso doble
Courtney: C’mon now…seriously? You’re always getting followed by the paparazzi? One, you are at best a D-list celeb; two, the last I checked, you were the one seeking the spotlight – not the other way around. Not that the song did you any favors anyway…
Heidi: Even better was Jake’s sage nodding in the background during her interview in the celebriquarium – hilarious. Seriously, Jake? REALLY? Dude, you go to every paparazzi hang out in Hollywood and then mack on your fiancé for the cameras. The Ivy? Spare me your tears, little man. You love it.
Best costume that looked better the 2nd time around: Chelsie’s acoustic paso dress
Heidi: So, the acoustic Paso dress was originally worn by Cheryl in her paso with….Gilles, correct?? That dress was so hideous that it made me forget how hot Gilles was!! I couldn’t look at the beauty of Gilles because my eyeballs had been burned by the horror of that dress. Okay…hyperbole. And I think Cheryl has a great body!! Just not the body for that particular dress.
Courtney: Yep, it was her paso with Gilles – he looked fantastic (shirtless!) and I feel like that just made it look that much worse on her – I thought it made her look like the Michelin Man. But on Chelsie – stun-ning. I’m sure John would agree
Most shameless vote mongering: Evan Lysacek
Heidi: Evan, for the love of all that is holy…chill the f*&k out. Picture me sitting in my overstuffed chair holding my blackberry and screaming as I received yet another plea to “vote for meeeeeeee, pleeeeeeessseee”. Dude, you tweeted every 10 minutes *during the show* in week 2 begging people to vote for you. It gave me an idea for a new show!! Spamalot, staring Evan Lysacek as Sir Evan…oh, wait. Eric Idle would likely sue. You do look good in tights, though, I’m sure.
Courtney: I haven’t seen so much spam since my Aunt Nadine’s 4th of July picnic. For SHAME, Evan!
Biggest cranky-pants of the week: Len Goodman, with a (dis)honorable mention for Jake Pavelka
Courtney: My goodness, he was even more crotchety than usual this week…don’t know how that is even possible! Didn’t think he was so crabby as to bash a couple’s routine the day AFTER the fact…maybe he just needs a nap or something. And Jake…we all know how I feel about Jake. Would you like some cheese with that whine, my friend?
Heidi: Len is Len, but he did go too far with the Erin/Maks critique on the day after the performance show. That is beyond his pattern of always being nasty to the dancers with experience (it does make me wonder if she’s not getting enough votes, though). But Jake takes the cake – what, you thought that everyone wanted your rose? Um, ick, the visuals…I just made myself nauseous.
Hairdo we never want to see again: Chelsie’s black Egyptian wig
Courtney: Some people are meant to have dark hair, others are not. We like you blonde, Chelsie! And John, well…he LOVES you blonde. Don’t go changin’ on us ever again! You looked like a Cher impersonator.
Heidi: Was it the wig or the bad makeup? Or the horrifying combination? I don’t know. And did they forget pieces of it were still there for her accoustic paso?? It looked small furry animals were hiding in her actual hair. Or were you trying to distinguish yourself from Jake’s fiancé Vienna?
Best Tom Joke of the Week: “And next week’s show will be on Pay-per-view” followed by “wonder who will have to clean that up?”
Heidi: I am madly in crush with Tom Bergeron – he makes me LOL nearly every show. Brilliant and wicked all at the same time.
Courtney: I feel your pain, Tom – I don’t want to even entertain the visual of Chad & Cheryl “making love on the dance floor”. ICK! Still crushin’ on Tom here too…seriously, who would pay $10k to have Snooki at their event if they could book Tom Bergeron instead? Only one major caveat – his very presence just makes Brooke look even more inept. Speaking of which…
And finally, the CheeseKake Award within the Cheesecake Awards: Brooke’s “We wanna dance like that!!” remark in the red room after the acoustic paso. GONG!!
Heidi: Oh, Brooke, that comment fell flatter than a male pro’s washboard abs. That was just painful. I can barely bring myself to watch it over and over again. Tell me, was it suppose to instill camaraderie with the other dancers? Be funny? What?
Courtney: I almost feel like we should be holding onto moldy fruit & veggies to be chucking at the screen every time she talks – some of her commentary is almost painful. Maybe not as painful as the cheesecake comment, but still – made me cringe. Definitely not a natural improviser like Tom is. But then again, nobody can compare to the glory of Tom Bergeron *dreamy sigh*
Let’s have a big round of applause (or jeers, whichever suits you better!) for our first round of Cheesecake recipients! For those of you who are upset you didn’t get one this week, there is hope: you will no doubt do something stupid/funny/ridiculous/awkward enough in the coming weeks to get one. Ooh, we can hardly wait! Tune in Wednesday when we give our next round of Cheesecakes for the outrageous antics that are bound to arise from the tango & rumba! Scandalous
1) DAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYMMMMMNNNN That’s one well-endowed little…. *coughs* yeah well anyway… White pants are good depending on the party at hand…
2) Tony and Jonathan as props… maaaaaaan that just gives a whole new meaning to objectifying… =P
3) No comment
4)
5) He’s a kid… and he’s being self-indulgent… leave him be… =P
6) Len’s just cranky because he doesn’t get to spend an entire week pressing up to a gorgeous woman… (some ladies nonewithstanding)
7) At least it wasn’t DYE, just a wig… so quit wigging out.
8 & 9) Well you guys wanted someone other than Samantha! =P Maybe that’s why they are as they are… to make Tom look good… or maybe it’s because they don’t have the experience like Tom does… =P
The only thing that would make this post better is if it was a video of you two talking about it. I could just picture the 2 of you watching the show.
Although, I am quite surprised that there wasn’t a picture of Derek and his white pants in the post. I must admit that I didn’t even notice his white pants. There was something else on stage more interesting.
I really wanna say something right now.. but I’m afraid it’s leaning towards rated R or worse… >.<
About the Evan spamming, I wonder if it’s even him that’s doing it. Could be his manager or someone else doing it for him. Even last season I don’t recall a lot of tweeting from contestants during the show.
First of all, I agree with the white pants comment.
Second, Jonathan and Tony made me crack up. I love when little things are thrown in there like that. Lastly, is Len insane? I thought that the seven he gave Erin and Maks was kinda low. I agree that he doesn’t seem to like the experienced dancers, so will we ever see a perfect score this season? I remember it took forever for Len to finally give Mya a ten last season.
Part of me wonders if it’s a race thing too – Mya, Nicole, Lil’ Kim….wasn’t he also hard on Mel B?? And Lil’ Kim was not even close to a ringer – she had way too much baggage to be a ringer. I will never forget kim’s and Derek’s Paso – I thought it was as close to perfect as anything on the show that night and I think he gave her an 8. Pissed me off.
Lil Kim also was a rapper. No complicated choreography in those dances. It could be race though Nicole is Asian/Pacific Islander, right? I think Len does not like female pop stars/r&b stars.
Heidi, len gave a 9 for the paso, the 8 was for the A.tango
Interesting comment. Len biased judging based on race. Although, I don’t remember him scoring Warren Sapp low. Maybe Len just hasn’t seen many black girls do ballroom and they have different lines that he’s not used to seeing.
Both should have been 10′s, IMO. He had to go higher for the paso since that was near the end of the competition. I do remember he was kinda crappy with the comments the whole way through.
Heidi until week 9 Len only gave one 10 ( GIlles tango) ,his second 10 was for Melissa samba in week 9), Shawn only got a 10 for Len in week 10 (semifinal), Len was really hard on season 8.
but he was never hard on Mel B, i don’t buy the race thing
and Len ws also really nice with Laila and Emmit
Len has some issues , back in seson 8 like i said he was really hard in generall but in the finale he gave Gilles a 10 for the lamest freestyle ever just for Gilles tied with Shawn, that freestylle was not even a 9.
Do you see the paparazzi video?? Len was PISSED that Shawn won – and he knew Shawn was going to win, which is why he likely gave Gilles a ten, to see if he could affect the outcome. I don’t remember seeing video after Donny won – but I imagine he was pissed then too.
i remenber the video but it’s still wrong what Len did, he could give Gilles a 10 for something super Lame but why he couldn’t give to Lil Kim, that actually deserve.
Len was super hard on Mya at first but in the end he could only give her 10′s, i dind’t think that her waltz, quickstep and paso deserve those 10′s ( joana v.watz was just as good in my eyes) ,just like Gilles 10′s on the semifinal for that waltz where cheryl pretty much did everything and the salsa that was not a salsa.
Chelsie could rock anything. ‘Nuff said.
Excluding the wig of course
That was horrid, even on her. But her dress was greeeaaattt.
Excluding the wig of course
The dress was grrreeattt though!
You have a point, Jennifer. Overscore Gilles, underscore lil’ Kim – and overscoring Gilles didn’t get him anything. EXCEPT – maybe he bows to what they perceive the fans to want – that’s why he started scoring Mya high (because really, she was a really good dancer but boring as hell and that’s more than half the battle), scored Gilles high at the end. Doesn’t explain lil’ Kim, though. She was reasonably popular. Derek took her to, what? Fifth place – and everyone expected her to be a trainwreck. Maybe Len expected it too and was having a hard time bringing his mind around to the fact that she was actually good?
1. Cutest lil sailor on the planet! Seriously, I know the girls are all suppose to wear pasties, I’m surprised they don’t make the guys wear dance belt ( I think that is what they are called).
2. Jonathan Roberts & Tony Dovolani looked like they were having fun–nice.
3. I have nothing good to say–so I’ll say nothing about that bit.
4. Didn’t recognize the dress, but have noticed Joanna’s Jive outfit was worn by Anna T & her Rumba outfit was worn by Kate in the promo pictures. I’m surprised they don’t wait longer to reuse costumes.
5. Agreed, and sick of seeing him over promote his new bff Mark too.
6. Len is Len, but he is still the most reasonable judge. Jake & Adrien are both full way too self important.
7. I thought Chelsie looked cute in the black wig, but I don’t care for the two tone hair.
8. Tom was great as always. I expect to hear a lot more trash talking/outrageous comments from Chad especially if he doesn’t improve.
9. I think that Brooke almost made some of the contestants cry with that comment. LOL
“Part of me wonders if it’s a race thing too – Mya, Nicole, Lil’ Kim….”
I don’t think that it is a race thing. I think that he holds people who already have dance experience or who had previously shown that they have the dance talent to a higher standard. Which is fair and adds a little balance to the show.
“Do you see the paparazzi video?? Len was PISSED that Shawn won –”
No comment, because I didn’t see it. But I have seen Bruno making some really rude comments about Kate G. I think that is unprofessional–especially since she is still in the competition. Score her fairly, you shouldn’t give Buzz 4′s when you give Kate 5′s.
” I don’t remember seeing video after Donny won – but I imagine he was pissed then too.”
He shouldn’t have been pissed–Donny deserved to win. He danced well, for the most part, always danced WITH HIS PARTNER, entertained and had fun.
Mya, on the other hand rarely PARTNER DANCED, and while able to execute the steps did it in a very cold and manner that wasn’t entertaining, for the most part.
“he could give Gilles a 10 for something super Lame .”
I’ve seen season 8 courtesy of YouTube, and have read a lot of threads/opinions/etc about the season as well. What I don’t understand is the over hype of Gilles. Overall he did a good job, but he was rather lame on a number of his faster dances IMO. I would/do rank him behind both Melissa and Shawn.
“but why he couldn’t’t give to Lil Kim, that actually deserve”
She made a lot of minor mistakes–but they add up. I think she would have done much better if she had actually shown up to rehearsal on time and not over scheduled herself.
“Len was super hard on Mya at first but in the end he could only give her 10’s”
Storyboarding. Ridiculous that they only once called her out about not dancing WITH her partner.
I think that nonsense at the beginning about them doing their own thing and not trying to please the judges was storyboarding as well. Dimitri can’t be that dumb. It took them what 4-5 weeks to figure out that to please Len all they had to do was stop the nonsense? Not buying it. Let’s manipulate the viewers and get them on Mya. the ultimate ringer’s side.
dang–I did a second post and hit submit–and it isn’t showing up. Can you not post back to back posts or did it just get eaten by a cyber bug?
You can post as often as you like, as long as you don’t go insane. But the site is cached so that it might take a couple minutes for a post to show up – people double post for that reason all the time. Patience, people.
I’m fairly certain that Derek, at least, usually does wear a dancers belt.
I notice these….things. 
I could be wrong, of course. I’m not there when he’s getting dressed. Dammit. 
The orchestra plays well; however, too bad they weren’t rated like the dancers. People who danced to the Tango, Samba, etc. back in the 40′s must be dieing! The music is terrible that they play. It doesn’t even resemble the kind of rumba/samba music that we once danced to. The do the Jive well but you have to use your imagination for the rest of the dances. If I were to score them, I would give them a 2-3. It must be the era we are now living in with all the “new age” music.