You two guys better be careful. I’ll be really pissed if the two cutest guys injure themselves right out of the competition. It’s Saturday. I’m feeling shallow. I survived the tornadoes, I’m entitled.
Curse? I’m borrowing someone else’s phrase. I don’t know that it’s a curse. But when practicing a “trick” for the Swing Marathon, Evan hit his head and gave himself a mild concussion. I appreciate his competitive spirit, but is it worth it to potentially knock yourself right out of the competition (or worse)? Especially since Evan is likely in no danger whatsoever?? Save your tricks for the freestyle, buddy. And get well soon – I’m enjoying having two ringers duking it out.
And this week we have the Argentine Tango and the Samba, in addition to a Swing Marathon. Swing? Why? Why Swing? Because none of the pros on this season are experts in it? Wasn’t Lacey the only Swing pro we had? In any case, it should be fun to watch. Now, in no particular order…
Pamela/Damian – Argentine Tango: I give up trying to predict what or how Pam will do. She surprises me every time. I do think that she really has to up her game this week because she’s hit the bottom two twice, which means the voters are either forgetting about her or they don’t like the sexpot routine. I can tell you, if Derek weren’t on this season, I would be voting for Pam all the way. Anyway – she needs to be sharp and crisp and fierce. She needs a knockout performance or she will be the one knocked out.
Jake/Chelsie – Samba: Looking ahead through the whole list of who’s dancing what (including Pam, above), I would wager that the producers are stacking the decks again – but for who? I think they gave every single pair the dance they would be most likely to have trouble with. Jake doing the Samba. Hmmm…he seems to do okay with stuff that requires hip action, but can he reign in his enthusiasm and give a solid performance? He might be in trouble now that we’re getting down to the nitty gritty.
Chad/Cheryl – Argentine Tango: I smell disaster. I don’t think he was really in danger last week, although I could be wrong, but he really needs to step up his game. Being a football player will only carry you so far, just as being a trainwreck (Kate) will only carry you so far. Frankly, his “thing” with Cheryl is getting pretty old – cut with the coy games and DANCE, dude. In any case, I can’t see Chad pulling off an AT that is sharp enough to get good scores, although they do have him stacked up against Pam and Niecy which could help him.
Nicole/Derek – Samba: Well, I know these two are putting in serious hours, if Derek’s tweets are anything to go by, and Nicole has got the moves for sure. The only thing I worry about is the lack of hype surrounding her. Everything is/was about Kate, Niecy and Jake, and to a lesser extent Erin. She doesn’t have the fanbase of Evan, so she needs to be killer yet again to generate votes on Monday night. Lord knows she’s not getting the publicity. Considering who’s left, she’s probably safe regardless.
Niecy/Louis – Argentine Tango: I’m sorry, but this is another potential disaster and I love Niecy. It seems to me they gave all the less precise, but entertaining, dancers the AT. Are they trying to weed out the lesser dancers?
Erin/Maks – Samba: Hopefully these two have put the silly crap behind them and Erin has retracted her claws enough to do a good Samba. Sorry Erin – really didn’t like you throwing Jake under the bus and I’m not even a Jake fan. I hope that Karma doesn’t come for you this week, because otherwise I think you can likely do a good Samba. Throw Nicole and Evan under the bus if you like (although it would still be tacky), since they are both awesome, but Jake? Sorry, but their gimmick was better than yours. ‘Cept for those dinosaur band aids.
Evan/Anna – Samba: Hmmmm. He did okay the last time hips were required, but that was the rumba. Can he do it for the Samba? I read on twitter that they just finished their samba today and were starting the Swing. In any case, it won’t matter – he’ll get all the votes he needs, barring disastrous scores. And I do think he’ll end up doing a great dance – he’s a skater and performer, after all. I do wonder if the lack of sleep will start to get to him. If he would NOT go out with Derek, Mark, Cheryl, Maks, et al on Monday nights, it might help.
Is it just me, or does it seem they gave the stronger dancers (excepting Jake) the Samba and the weaker dancers the AT? My imagination? Because here’s how it stacks up (in order of score, IMO, highest to lowest):
The Argentine Tango:
Niecy – Chad (Tie)
The people with the AT were all those in jeopardy last week and they got the dance that you can’t fake a lot of – or am I wrong? Am I the only one that thinks those dancing Samba are going to rock the house and those dancing AT…aren’t?? Will Jake blow it? Can Pam up her game with that dance? As for who’s going home….well, I’m going to say Niecy or Pam. As always, I reserve the right to change my mind once I’ve seen the dances.
Here are the musical performances/pro dances from the Week 5 Results show. For more on the musical artists and links to their songs, see John’s DWTS Music post from earlier in the week.
Maxwell with Tyne Stecklin & Teddy Forance dancing to a piece choreographed by Lacey
Debi Nova, with Derek, Dmitry, Damian and Tony
I must say, I love how much dancing they’re putting into the results shows these days – keep up the good work!!
Len’s Dancing recap – who danced what and how well. Love the confessionals. Read more..
…with Dancing with the Stars in the lead once again. From the Washington Post:
Once again, ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” has pasodobled past Fox’s “American Idol” in the ratings.
Monday’s 90-minute “Dancing” episode, featuring America’s Most Put Upon Mother Kate Gosselin performing her final walk — this time an alleged foxtrot, to “The Breakfast Club” tune “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” while dressed as Princess Aurora from “Sleeping Beauty” — averaged 21.1 million viewers.
Meanwhile, Tuesday’s one-hour performance episode of “Idol,” in which show host Ryan Seacrest’s ego took the night off, freeing up more time for the Idolettes to take turns singing inspirational songs, attracted 19.7 million people to their screens, according to Nielsen.
This week marks the third time in five weeks the performance night of “Dancing” has attracted a larger crowd than the performance night on “Idol.”
It may also be the last because, sadly, “Dancing” ratings magnet Gosselin was finally felled this week by the professional judges’ low, low scores for her performances (“Dancing” eliminates a celebrity per week based on a combination of the judges’ scores and viewer voting).
I guess that remains to be seen. I don’t think it was Kate drawing viewers, so much as Idol really sucks this season. Seriously.
Or is it continue?? I lose track. In any case, if you haven’t seen this already, here is the ultimate in ugly possibility for a contestant on DWTS. From the Huffington Post:
Rachel Uchitel, the night club hostess who allegedly slept with Tiger Woods, is said to be aiming for a spot on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars,” according to Norm Clarke of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Clarke writes that Uchitel has been training for six weeks.
Uchitel (PHOTOS), who reportedly moved back to Las Vegas in March, was the first woman to be named as part of Woods’ explosive sex scandal. Woods reportedly wrote Uchitel an emotional email and also allegedly shared a bizarre sex fantasy with her. In January, a source who initially revealed Uchitel’s relationship with Tiger called her a “celebrity whore.”
After watching “Movie Night” on Dancing with the Stars, I realized that there were several songs used this season that were recycled from previous seasons.
Since this past week Kate Gosselin was eliminated, I decided to post up her “recycled” dances first. Not only Kate & Tony’s dances, but the previous celeb and pro to have danced them…
Season 6: Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez
Season 10: Kate Gosselin & Tony Dovolani Read more..
It was a Cheesy, sometimes annoying week, this week. But there is one huge bright spot – no more Kate. But there’s also a dim spot – no more Kate. Beware, Courtney and I weren’t in the best of moods when we wrote these.
Most Interesting Movie Theme Selection: Armageddon for Evan and Anna
Heidi: So, producers. Armageddon, eh? What exactly are you trying to say? Evan the asteroid?
Courtney: *pouting* I would have enjoyed it so much more if it was an overwrought, tacky homage to Top Gun. I had such high hopes! Haha. But yes, this was a bit peculiar – and kind of a hard movie to convey in that rumba. What where they supposed to do, have Anna hurling herself across the stage at Evan like some sort of asteroid about to hit the dance floor? And in the same token – how were Niecy & Louis supposed to convey “La Bamba” in their dance? Dress Louis up like Lou Diamond Phillips?
Best “Heidi was right” moment – Armageddon!!
Heidi: My brain finally came through on one.
Courtney: Props, m’dear…but I swear, someone is going to use “Take My Breath Away” one of these seasons, count on it!!
Best Len/Tom Interaction – Re: Chad. Len: “This is a dance competition”. Tom: “Not for him it isn’t.”
Heidi: Tom Bergeron, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Way too many one-liners tonight.
Courtney: Tom, you are oh-so-wise. But if it’s not a dance competition for Chad…what exactly is it? A “get in Cheryl’s pants the fastest” contest? A “see how much sports-related trash talking you can do in the off-season” competition? Please…put him on blast, Mr. Bergeron
Most Delightful Temper Tantrum – Maks jumping up and down during his pre-jive package with Erin
Heidi: Dude, way to channel your inner two year old – WAY more fun than the meanie weenie. I giggle the whole time – and I was rooting for HIM, which is a change.
Courtney: I think Maks may have met his match in Erin…the girl gets under his skin in the best way. She’s reduced him from a man of such arrogance & bravado to a pouting toddler. LOVE IT.
Most Nonsensical Prop – Maks’ menu.
Heidi: Why? That had nothing to do with the movie dance – and you slowed down the tempo which is cheating on the Jive, in addition to using a prop for just as many bars as Damian did.
Courtney: Somewhere, Quentin Tarantino is having a seizure…not only did they foul up with the color of Erin’s hair (and the lack of a ponytail on Maks, AHEM), but they used a very, very minor part of the original movie scene to skirt around doing a full-speed jive for the whole routine. I would have been more impressed if he was dancing around drinking a “$5 milkshake”
Most Distracting Accessory – Jake’s Bandaids
Heidi: For the love of God, Jake, if you’re going to dance in your underwear, man up and lose the bandaids. I think they might even have had dinosaurs on them. Or little planes.
Courtney: Or Hello Kitty. Or maybe even custom ones with Vienna’s face on them. Wait…maybe that’s a little too weird…Vienna on his knees…gah. At least he managed to get those pants on quickly to cover them up.
Heidi: I feel dirty now. Thanks.
Most Horrifying Dress – Kate.
Heidi: Sweet jesus, can you get any more colors on that dress? And what was it supposed to mean??? If you’re taking the time to write on a chalkboard for your movie theme, at least dress the woman like Molly Ringwald circa 1980’s.
Courtney: I’m just pissed that it was more akin to the dreadful pink number that Molly wore to the prom at the end of Pretty in Pink, and the song was from the Breakfast Club. But yes, it was an eyesore – kinda like a watercolor palette exploded in the wardrobe room – but so was her dancing. So I guess it kind of fit.
Tom Bergeron LOL Line O’ the Night - Regarding Kate Gosselin: “8 little friends just stripped Bruno’s car”
Heidi: Bwahahaha…OMG. The man can think on his feet like no one else – and the imagery of those little kids all over Bruno’s car, tearing parts off, all the while snarling like little animals. LOL
Courtney: Dunno what’s scarier: the thought of those 8 little rugrats wreaking havoc on Bruno’s stylish little European 2-seater like some thugs out of Grand Theft Auto, or the thought of Mama Gosselin goading them on: “C’mon, babies! Show Bruno what happens when he talks bad about mama’s dancing!”
Best Prat Fall – Derek Hough, “Whoo Hoo…” CRASH!!!!!!!!!
Heidi: I swear, he does that on purpose but he makes it look real. It’s oddly funny every time. The dork.
Courtney: Still trying to figure out if he meant to do it or not…it looks like he may have planned to do something crazy, but maybe went at it with too much force and ended up sprawled on the floor laughing instead. Either way, I got a chuckle out of it.
Heidi: I think Tom gets a kick out of it too: “Derek Hough: The Buster Keaton of DWTS” LOL
Most On-Show Pimpage – TIE: Evan (skating, traveling) & Kate (using her kids for votes)
Heidi: Evan’s really wasn’t up to him, or his fault per se, although it makes me wonder why they are making a fuss about him traveling while performing. It certainly isn’t the first time, and for someone as experienced as he is, no hardship either. He signed up knowing that was going to be the case. So what’s the deal?? Soap Stars did it. Niecy does it. Donny Osmond did it. As did countless others – at least one every season, as I recall. But what I don’t recall is them making a big deal out of Donny doing it (of course, he had ET to do it FOR him) or hardly anyone else, either. In any case, Kate’s was much more egregious – can you use children for votes any more blatantly than she did?That was horrible. (Note: It might also have been what got her kicked off, that and her witchier than normal behavior – she finally went too far.)
Courtney: The “I love you!” to her kids was getting more & more forceful each week – kinda getting scary, actually. Like she was subliminally saying “Listen up, America! I LOVE MY KIDS! I DESERVE VOTES!!!” Yikes. Not faulting the woman for loving her kids – but she doesn’t need to exploit it for votes. Evan…*sigh* I’m done even trying to talk about his ringership. But apparently the show isn’t…although I must point out Adam’s comment about Evan’s spins: “Gee, wonder where he learned how to do that? HE’S A PROFESSIONAL ICE DANCER, PEOPLE!” Hmmm, that doesn’t sound like Adam pointing out a correlation between dancing and skating now, does it?
Most Improvement by a Non-Contestant: Brooke Burke
Heidi: I gotta give it up to Brooke; I noticed she was much better Monday night. More at ease, more prepared or something. I heard no loud gonging sounds or groans after she spoke. I think she’s starting to get into the job.
Courtney: That, or they have someone in her ear telling her exactly what to say verbatim. But yes, I agree – she’s improved. No more awkward comments about cheesecake.
The Human Thesaurus Award – Niecy Nash, for rattling off as many synonyms for “horseplay” as she could think of
Courtney: Shenanigans…antics…tom foolery…carrying on…funny business…hijinx…
Heidi: …foolishness….crap, I got nuthin’ else.
The “Adam Corrolla Should be on Every Week!” Award: Julianne stuck this thing under my butt and told me to “pedal, monkey!!” Or how about his razzing of Evan for of course knowing how to spin. Like, DUH!!
Heidi: I think Adam is a riot and he, along with those Dance Center guys, should be on more often. And the Evan thing was a nice counterpoint to the previous night’s pimpage. Not sure I want to know about Julianne sticking things under his butt, though. Plus, I also thought he was Jewish. Go figure.
Courtney: AMEN ON ALL COUNTS. Between Tom & Adam, we have a voice of reason on this show.
Most Incoherent Critique of a Contestant’s Dancing: Carrie Ann comparing Kate’s foxtrot to the teacher from Charlie Brown
Courtney: I KIND OF understood what she was saying, but she choose a really awkward metaphor for it. Couldn’t she have said “Nothing about your dance was really defined”, instead of spouting off a chorus of “Wuh wuh wuh WUHH”? And then the whole “SUPERSTAR!!!” thing with Derek & Nicole – did she throw back a couple of cosmopolitans before the show?
Heidi: Ummmm…..Cosmos. You know, there are times that I think you and I are the only ones old enough to drink around here. I think she meant that when she watches Kate dance, she sort of drifts off into La La land and doesn’t really see the dance anymore. She’s, like, seeing Tony naked or something. Or am I the only one with that problem?
Most Interesting Freudian Slip: Cheryl Burke – “Chad isn’t happy unless I’m always coddling/cuddling him”
Courtney: Hehe…she may have aimed for “coddling”, but it sure sounded an awful lot like “cuddling”…
Heidi: I heard fondling. Must have been the beer.
Best Wardrobe Malfunction: Chelsie popping out of her dress during the encore performance of Jake’s cha-cha
Courtney: Maybe mine eyes were deceiving me – but didn’t it seem like Jake was trying to use his head to cover up Chelsie’s boobs? What a helper. LOL
Heidi: Pretty sure Vienna is packing heat. If he’s not careful, he’ll get his “helper” shot off. Risky Business indeed.
And thus another week of Cheesecake Awards are concluded. Please, DWTS, try to give us more exciting material next time, would ya? We KNOW you’ve got it in you.
Entertainment Tonight – most of the gang. Read more..