I had to post this because I just found it way too funny, and probably accurate. TV Guide has an article about backstage this season. Here is an excerpt (bolding mine):

What? The Situation sticking to the dancing drill and keeping his shirt on? “I was never a good dancer,” he says after his fox trot Monday night, which earned a respectable 20 points. “So not only was it a privilege for me to learn from a professional like Karina (Smirnoff), but I also wanted to show America that I am well-rounded, that I am intelligent, that I am generous and sweet to people.”

He’s not particularly sweet to women on Jersey Shore. “It’s all done with humor, and meant to be entertaining, not harmful,” says Sorrentino. “I do have a mother and a sister. I love my mother. I love my sister. What you see on Dancing With the Stars is the real person. I’m putting in the work. And people are starting to say, ‘Hey, we’re rooting for you. You’re the underdog and you’re awesome. You’re a nice kid, contrary to what we’ve seen on that MTV show.’”

So, no fireworks. Dancing’s producers must want to kill him.

I give a “bwahaha” to Lisa De Moraes from the Washington Post:

It’s “Every Dance Must Tell a Story” week on “Dancing with the Stars.” The bar was set very high last season when Kate Gosselin gave a tour de force performance as Boris Karloff, in character as Frankenstein, dancing to the Lady Gaga tune “Paparazzi.” Can any of this season’s celebrities hope to top that?

and I give her another “bwahaha” to her for this (I think Derek was thinking about “waxing the floor” too):

This season’s front-runner Jennifer Grey and partner Derek Hough kick things off with a samba. The story: An English schoolboy in a school where the teachers are cross-dressing flamenco dancers falls asleep at his desk and dreams that he must wax the floor with his teacher. The judges, Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, and Bruno Tonioli, love it but feel compelled to note they got tangled up in each other once or twice. Even so, all three award her 8 points for a total or 24 points out of a possible 30. This week, unlike last, 24 is a fine score.

OMG – the whole article is full of gems. Read it.

Comic Margaret Cho and partner Louis Van Amstel do a samba. The story: A man pursues a slow-moving, brightly colored piñata around a party, but it proves hard to pop despite his efforts to forcefully squeeze and drag it.

Abstinence advocate Bristol Palin and partner Mark Ballas do a foxtrot. But first, in a taped bit, Bristol makes her pitch for abstinence as we see her addressing an audience on the road, and all of America – at least all of us watching “Dancing with the Stars” – get to hear her best argument: You can’t get pregnant. The story: A talented but homeless dancer living in a packing crate is lifted up to high social status by a well-dressed woman but in a tragic twist she turns out to be easy to tip over, and he must give up dancing for very careful, slow paced walking.

Disney star Kyle Massey and partner Lacey Schwimmer do a waltz. The story: A man in a Hooters restaurant feels an instant attraction to a waitress and expresses his love by wheeling her around the place, and she reciprocates with a surprising wind-milling gesture. Because cute goes a long way, the judges bestow 23 points on them.