DWTS11 Week 6 Power Rankings

UGH.  This is not how I wanted to spend my first week back ranking after my absence :-( Just as I predicted (and I was truly hoping it wouldn’t pan out this way), the judges lavished praise on every single tango, and absolutely HOSED the couples doing paso.  To what end? I don’t know…either Kurt & Jennifer are getting a crap ton of votes and the judges are just giving them low scores to create drama, or maybe they really and truly want them gone.  But over BRISTOL? Ai ai ai…I don’t even really feel like ranking now.  But alas, I must…

1.) Brandy & Maks – I gotta hand it to these two for doing pretty well on an otherwise dismal evening – best tango of the night, and some cute marathon choreography.  Thought they had an advantage with the song they were given – seemed a bit more exciting than any of the other tango songs.  Started off very high-energy and strong, had a few minor wobbles, but overall pretty damn good.  But once again – why waste so much time running up to the stage at the end? It was a strong tango – I think it could’ve had a much strong ending with some sort of dramatic drop or dip.  I liked their marathon choreography – seems like Brandy’s jive technique has improved – and they did seem to have the most stamina.  With such a strong score, I don’t think they’re in any danger of going home.

2.) Jennifer & Derek – Heidi is freaking out right now about these two, but honestly, I think they’re gonna be alright – Jennifer has become a sentimental favorite this season, and I think she’s got the fanbase to carry her through.  First things first: paso is just not Jennifer’s dance.  Period.  I had a bad feeling from the very first bar of her flinging her skirt and kicking awkwardly at the beginning – that skirt seemed to wear her, rather than the other way around.  It was decent in the middle – she seemed to keep up and get some nice shaping – but it all seemed to fall apart in the last few bars.  Yikes.  But it did not warrant what I consider just bitchy self-importance on Carrie Ann’s part – like it was a personal insult to her that Jennifer didn’t do so hot this week.  Go take a Midol, Crabby McCrabbers.  However, I do give these two props for actually committing to the character of the paso – if you somehow merged Audrina & Jennifer’s pasos, you’d have a pretty good routine, a combo of technique and performance.  As for the marathon – I think they may have saved themselves by sticking it out to win 2nd place, but man – Jennifer looked BEAT by the end of it.  However, I think these two ought to be ok, based on the fact that they’re one of the favorites, and that certain other couples REALLY got hosed tonight…

3.) Audrina & Tony – No big surprises here for me – Audrina missed the mark in her paso.  She was on-time and didn’t make any mistakes, but that’s about all she had going for her tonight – the ceiling eyes were back in full force, her movements were robotic, and overall I felt like she just wasn’t “present” in this paso.  I mentioned earlier in the comments of Heidi’s post that the difference between a good paso and a bad paso is whether or not they inject some theatricality into their moves…well, I think these two TRIED, but it just kinda fell flat.  And damn – Audrina looked winded after only a minute or so of the marathon dance.  I think they oughta be ok based on score alone, but we are making our way into “shock elimination” territory…so who knows what next week or the week after could bring.

4.) Rick & Cheryl – Not a whole lot to say here – their tango was nice to watch, he stayed on time, he was believable, I liked his faux hawk ;-) Overall – not great, but not terrible. What worries me about these two is that I seem to have less & less to say about them every week…which  tells me that they’re becoming a little forgettable.  Not sure it’s due to anything they’re doing – they’ve been pretty consistent this season – but rather that everyone else seems to be having really “breakout” performances and I don’t think Rick & Cheryl have really had theirs yet.  I daresay it needs to come sooner rather than later, because this week…it really could be anyone going home.  I don’t think it will be these two (they still have a comparably decent score, even though Rick looked like the daggone Tin Min in the marathon), but once we finally weed out these weaker dancers…his looks ain’t gonna carry him much further.

5.) Kyle & Lacey – This was a weird one for me.  Overall, this felt more like a paso than me than a tango…as if Lacey was hoping for paso instead of tango, and had already choreographed a paso, and decided to just revamp it to seem more…tango-y.  It also seemed rather tame by Lacey standards, and I found myself (I can’t believe I’m saying this) actually wishing that it was a bit less “by the book” and a little more “Lacey-ish”.  However, I cannot get over how atrocious Lacey’s ballroom technique is, and I feel like it’s most evident during the tango – you could drive a boat show between these two at times.  But I guess the adherence to traditional tango appeased the judges, because they were back to loving Kyle this week (or maybe just loving the tango, since they seemed to adore every single one of them.) Go figure – these two are a complete wild card for me, and the judges scoring is so back-and-forth that I’m never sure whether they’re totally safe or on the brink of elimination.  Again, on a night like tonight where the scores are so spread apart, I think they’ll be safe…but after that, who the hell knows. Weirder things have happened – people in monkey suits have dodged elimination! Speaking of which…

6.) Bristol & Mark – I groaned out loud when I heard the words “air guitar”.  However…these two did a complete 180 from last week’s monkey suit disaster.  This was a pretty good tango – she stayed on time, had a great frame, seemed to actually embody the mood of the tango, and I absolutely loved their costumes.  Kinda pleasantly surprised that Mark managed to reign in his usual spasticality this week (ok, aside from the air guitar bit) and actually give us some very clean, crisp, technical choreography…maybe someone dosed he and Lacey’s drinks with Ritalin this week or something, because both of them seemed uncharacteristically calm in their choreography. No big moves for these two in the marathon, but really no surprise considering how low-energy Bristol’s jive was.  Now I’m left with an interesting dilemma: she did pretty well this week, but I still feel like she deserves to go home based on her overall performance thus far on the show, because let’s face it – the majority of it has been pretty mediocre.  However, my gut is telling me right now that she managed to eek out one more week on the show after her performance tonight.  But I think they’ll still have her in the red lights in the final two, just for effect, along with…

7.) Kurt & Anna – Poor Kurt & Anna.  Is it just me, or were they especially harsh on them tonight? I actually didn’t think his paso was terrible – I rather enjoyed it, as he did seem to get into character and managed to do some decent moves.  It was what Audrina & Jennifer’s pasos should have been – a combo of technique and performance.  Am I the only one that saw that??? Because my mouth was agape when the judges whipped out the 6 paddles.  DAY-UM.  And they continued the abuse with the marathon, tapping him out first.  OUCH.  I’m not quite sure how they went from adoring him last week to hating the guy so much this week, but maybe I’m blinded by my love for Anna :-) This is gonna be one helluva score to overcome…and I was only slightly encouraged by the intermittent busy signals I was getting when phoning in my votes for them.  I’m hoping Brenda Warner is organizing a prayer circle for Kurt as we speak…because it’s gonna be nothing short of miraculous if he manages to make it through to next week :-(

So let’s hear it: did you guys think the judges were totally whack, hit or miss, or totally spot-on? Who’s gonna get the encore? And will we be in for our first “shock elimination” of the season? Holler…I’m gonna go eat my feelings now (I have both cinnamon buns and apple pie in my kitchen, and some eggnog to wash it down…YUM) and hope that a performance from my 2nd favorite redhead in the world (Nancy Wilson of Heart) on tomorrow night’s show will renew my faith in mankind :-)