It seems like every season, some of the fans gripe that [insert celeb here] shouldn’t be allowed to do the show because they have “previous dance experience”. Now while I have never heard it explicitly stated as a rule that no one with any experience whatsoever can participate in the show (contrary to a lot of fans who insist that the show is all about “starting with no experience and then growing”), it is rather interesting to examine the dance backgrounds of the various celebs that do the show each season. Which is exactly what we did for season 11 – and got a good perspective and quite a few laughs out of the experience
So why not do the same this season, before the great ringer debate erupts again? Let’s see who might have the early edge, and who might just have 2 left feet, shall we?
Today we start with the ladies. First up, we have the lovely Kendra Wilkinson, who is probably best known as one of Hef’s ex-girlfriends from The Girls Next Door. Here she demonstrates some martial arts-inspired exercise moves for ExerciseTV.tv, but not before warming up with some heavy-duty booty popping:
Courtney: Admittedly, Kendra’s got rhythm. If this were booty-popping with the stars, she’d be a shoo-in for the mirror ball trophy. However, I don’t think Len would be too pleased if Louis started incorporating these moves into Kendra’s routines But props to her for not being afraid to move – I think that’s what Holly’s big problem was. She’s was too scared to really get DOWN.
Vogue: All I can say here is please, EVERYONE ELSE MOVE OVER. GIRL CAN GYRATE! If a girl can gyrate, she can do ANYTHING! Am I right on this? I know I am!
Heidi: So, what’s the deal with the peacocks in the background?? Is that some sort of play on words for “The Mansion”. And has it occurred to anyone that they paired Kendra with the pro least likely to have spent significant time there? Seriously – Derek’s been several times and I bet Maks and Tony have as well. Boys.
Courtney: It was taped at the mansion – I watched that particular episode And yes, there’s quite a bit of irony there in the fact that Kendra got paired with Louis of all pros. Maybe they thought he’d be the least distracted by her ample bosom & gyrating badonkadonk?
Next up we have Chelsea Kane (aka Chelsea Staub) from Disney’s Jonas, shaking her groove-thing Tina Turner-style on the Disney cruise ship:
Vogue: Hmmmm, this girl could be in trouble. Mark might his work cut out for him. But, Chelsie will be better than Bristol. Then again, ANYONE WILL BE BETTER THAN BRISTOL!!!!
Heidi: Judging by the faces she makes she’ll be the perfect partner for Mark. How old is she though? He might start dating her. She’s his type, after all. Win-Win for Marky.
Courtney: Aaaand cue the rose petals, candlelit dinners, and weekends in Napa JK. She’s definitely cute, and she seems to not take herself too seriously – which is good, because you never know when a monkey suit or a ridiculously ruffled polka dot dress might be headed your way!
Our next contestant is the sassy Kirstie Alley, who did a sexy little impromptu dance with John Travolta (and a bowl of pudding) in Look Who’s Talking:
Heidi: Props are bad.
Courtney: Yeeeah, Len probably would call the bowl of pudding “rubbish” (take heed, Maks!), but this is a cute scene nonetheless – even if the baby steals it I wonder if Vinnie Barbarino himself will crop up in the audience this season to cheer Kirstie on.
Vogue: OMG! Kirstie can GYRATE too? Hey, don’t ever count a woman out if they can hold a spoon like that too.
Now onto the beautiful Petra Nemcova, who did a little bit of grooving at a Prince Albert Foundation benefit – I’m fairly certain she’s the one in the lime green dress:
Courtney: Work that skirt, girl! If all else fails, Dmitry can just dress her in a long skirt each week, and somehow work it into the choreography
Vogue: Look at that. I think Star Jones might be jealous?
Heidi: Pretty sure that skirt choreography is not far removed from “props” in terms of “messin’ about” in Len’s world.
Courtney: Hell, he did it with a feather duster with Mya – wouldn’t surprise me if Dmitry managed to come up with another prop that Len absolutely LOATHED.
Lastly, we have the hilarious Wendy Williams, who got a quick lesson in kick line routines from the world-famous Radio City Rockettes on her show back in December:
Heidi: I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Wait, she’s partnered with Tony, we think, right? Bwahahahaha…decision made.
Courtney: I think Vogue might seriously be onto something – because Ru & Wendy sometimes look like they were separated at birth. As for this little ditty – yikes. Looks like Tony’s got his work cut out for him, since she looks extremely wobbly just kicking her leg a few inches. They might need a crash mat just for regular practice, I’m afraid :-/ *cue montage of Wendy falling down during practice*
So now that you’ve seen these ladies’ mad dancing skills…what do you guys think? Do we have any ringers (or stinkers) in our midst? Keep an eye out for part II, where we take a look at the dancing prowess of this season’s gents – and let me tell you, kids, it is even more HILARIOUS than the ladies Stay tuned!!!