So the other day we took a look at some of the previous dance experience this season’s female contestants have. Today we take a look at the fellas…and boy do we have some good laughs in store for you guys
First up we have Ralph Macchio, who appears to be the early favorite from the boys this season. Here he is cutting a rug in the school dance scene from Karate Kid II:
Courtney: Awww, Ralph was so cute here! Such a ham with those skinny little chicken legs and the air guitar And homeboy had some serious swing moves back then – maybe he’s still got a few now. Some are already murmuring “ringer” because of this video, and I feel I must point out that Ralph was only 25 here (he’s 49 now) and he likely just learned this routine for the movie. I doubt it’s truly indicative of any underlying dance prowess.
Vogue:I want to seriously murmur “ringer” here. Ralph has definitely got what it takes to dance….or atleast he did at one time? Though I am having so much trouble seeing him spray-tanned and wearing sparkley spandex.
Heidi:Hey, so what if he’s 50 and danced in a movie 25 years ago?? He’s the male Jennifer Grey!!! She’s 50 and danced in a movie 25 years ago!! So what if it was only one dance that she rehearsed for a month!! RINGER!! (er, that was sarcasm, for those bound to take me seriously.)
Next up is Hines Ward, the longest-tenured player on the Steelers roster and the first Korean-American to win a Superbowl MVP award (there’s your fun FYI for the day ). Here he is celebrating his Superbowl XLIII win with teammate Troy Polamalu at an after party:
Vogue: He is having so much fun doing a shuffle there he never played his trumpet.
Heidi: No, Vogue, he’s just holding his “trumpet” and playing with it. Typical football player.
Courtney: Um, wow. I guess nothing says victory like a little Tina Turner and a fake trumpet solo Methinks Hines maybe hit the sauce that night…looks like the swaying might not be 100% intentional. Not that I blame him, haha.
Now we move onto Chris Jericho, who seems to be another early favorite this season. In this clip from back in his WWE days, he does an impromptu groove-along with Too Cool & Chyna – Chris is the one with the long blonde hair, just so we’re clear (WARNING: gratuitous male buttock shot at 1:25. Avert your eyes if it offends you ):
Heidi: WTF was that??? I can see why they’re wearing sunglasses – I’m assuming they blacked out the lenses completely.
Courtney: All I can say is that I’m glad he ditched the Meatloaf-inspired ‘do and slimmed down a bit. All that bulky muscle is a turn-off…his neck was about as big as my waist! But hey, if nothing else – the dude doesn’t take himself too seriously. Which is good
Vogue: Hey, a new hairdo I have never thought of trying before!
Here we have Romeo (nee Lil Romeo), who has a solo rap career in addition to a group called the College Boys, which was formed while he was a student (and basketball player!) at USC. This is their song “Footwork” – Romeo is the one wearing dark sunglasses throughout the video:
Courtney: Yes, this song is very dumb and repetitive. But at least he isn’t singing about bling & beyotches & capping snitches and making constipated noises like his dear ol’ dad. Romeo’s got moves, fo sho. Will this translate to the ballroom? We’ll see…but I will say this: if people were up in arms last season that Jennifer was a ringer by virtue of being in a dance movie, then they’re gonna be angry again, because Romeo was in Honey back in ’03 with Jessica Alba. Or is it only unfair if Derek gets someone that’s been in a dance movie? Please, clue me in
Vogue: He’s on my foot work foot work foot work foot work foot work foot work foot work this yo oh boy my feet are hurting just watching this.
Heidi: I weep for this season.
Mike Catherwood can be seen below on The Regis and Kelly Show recently, with the closest thing we could find to him dancing. Hey, dancing comes in all shapes and forms
Vogue: Who cares if he can dance or not? This is all I NEED to make me happy for the rest of the Season!
Courtney: Meooooowwww. I wonder if he can make his pecs dance? If so, he has ALL of my votes. I think we should start a petition that Mike has to do all of his dances shirtless…and covered in baby oil. Who’s with me?
Heidi: Can I vote now? What’s his number? Who do I call to make sure he gets the Lambada? :::runs off to buy stock in Vaseline::: :::crash:::: Ow. Wall.
And lastly, we have Sugar Ray Leonard…and no, he’s not actually dancing (at least in the context we’re referring to), but he is “dancing” with his opponent, Bruce Finch, in the boxing ring during his heydey:
Heidi: He’s a cute little feather weight. Betcha Anna can keep him in line pretty easily. And no, I have no idea if he’s a feather weight or not – I am talking about something I know nothing about. But he’s still cute.
Vogue: Uh oh, I have a feeling he may give new meaning to “Blood On The Dancefloor”.
Courtney: I can’t imagine that boxing wouldn’t somehow help Sugar Ray this season – look at how light he is on his feet. And swift! I bet he’ll do well at the ballroom dances. And if not – who cares. From what I’ve seen of him thus far, he seems like a sweetheart. Someone viewers will really latch onto.
Alright folks, you’ve seen the (sometimes damning) evidence. Which of the guys do you think will come out on top this season, and who will get sent packing the first week? And who should be the MOST embarassed with the dirt we’ve dug up?