Heidi: This was like giving birth. Or what I would imagine giving birth was like if I had any children.
Award for the Celeb that Seems to Get Cooler & Cooler Despite His Initial Douchiness: Rob Kardashian
Courtney: Rob’s definitely come a long way since his initial assholiness during the first week – we’re getting all sorts of zingers out him these days! On relating to the The Addams Family: “Yeah, my family’s kinda kooky.” On showing off his “guns” in paso rehearsal: “I don’t carry weapons.” On the tutelage he received from Derek & Maks in said rehearsals: “Derek & Maks increased my sexual confidence!” Plus, he’s got a bum and he’s ok with it! I’m seriously starting to dig Rob – would be interesting to see what he pulls out of his hat for a freestyle, should he make the finale.
Heidi: He was a cornucopia of hilarious this past week – speaking of his bum, the entire segment about his bum from Bruno critiquing to Bruno telling Cheryl “It’s huge!!”, to them running up the stairs to David yelling “that’s a violation you were talking to Bruno!!” to the faux weepy confessional all about him bum?? F@#king hilarious!! OMG, didn’t even catch it all until I watched it again.
Award for the Celeb Who We Wish Was Still Around Because He Was Becoming a Comic Genius: David Arquette
Courtney: “Dancing with the skeleton” FTW! Especially since he even cracked Brooke up to the point where she was even more flustered than usual And then he (deliberately, I assume) got all wacky with his deck of cards during Monday night’s intros, just for shits & giggles. *sigh* I’m seriously gonna miss David!
Heidi: See above about the yelling about a violation. But the dancing with the skeleton was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long damn time.
Award for Cleverest Production Bit of the Week: “DEAD….from Hollywood!!”
Heidi: Maybe I’m easy. But I thought it was funny.
Courtney: Laaaaame. Just like “I’m Tom Boo-geron!” and “Our musical director, Scare-ald Wheeler!” I bet you chortled merrily at those, too, Heidi Am I right?
Heidi: Nah, I didn’t laugh at those. Just the dead thing. Maybe it’s death…
Person Most Likely to Overestimate His Own Coolness Factor: Justin Beiber
Heidi: Seriously?? Who does this kid think he is? MJ?? Cuz really he’s a child in serious need of an auto tune. Talk about over rated.
Courtney: To quote my mother, “Thugs don’t wear glittery purple jackets w/matching shoes, Biebs.” This kid clearly thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread in that getup – even though I though his singing quite frankly SUCKED. Maybe he’s finally going through puberty. He sounded vaguely Peter Brady-ish. Thank god he had Boys II Men to up his street cred for the 2nd song. Boys II Men are the effin’ balls.
Heidi: What is the favorite color of pre-teen girls? PURPLE. Little manipulator.
Most Mysterious Production Trick: The pixelation of Karina’s body during the results show playback of their dance
Heidi: WTF was that about?? I though she was wearing a nude body stocking. She was, right? LOL!! This is a real blink and you miss it thing and I actually went back and watched the dance again to see if I could figure out why they felt the need to do it. Maybe they were being funny??
Courtney: It was indeed bizarre. Sometimes I think the FCC requires pixelation of things that even could potentially be misconstrued as indecent – like “Well that’s ambiguous…it could be a boob, it might not be. Better pixelate it to be safe!” Buncha prudes. Personally, I think the show could benefit from a nip slip or mysterious bulge every now & then…but that’s just me
Heidi: I vote for bulges. Lots and lots of indecent bulges.
Worst Instance of Coitus Interuptus in the History of DWTS: The major camera screw up during Derek and Allison’s pro dance on the results show (East Coast Only)
Heidi: I think I actually screamed. The lousy camera director harshed my buzz, big time. People!! He was half naked. Do you KNOW how rare that is??
Courtney: Muppet alert! Pretty sure I saw a furry pink head scuttling along the floor, obscuring my view of one of the greatest results show dances EVER. Dammit, Animal – just go practice your drums for awhile. We’ll summon you when we need you to play “Manamana”.
Least Shocking Instance of Memory Loss: Carson Kressley, who momentary forgot the name of the person who hosts the show that isn’t named Tom Bergeron
Heidi: Hee. We should all be so lucky. What was her name again? Oh, right. Brooke. Hehehe.
Courtney: Personally, I think Carson is totally on-board with this whole grassroots “Replace Brooke with Carson!” campaign we’ve started…and now he’s dropping subtle hits that he’s ready to take the position. Or he’s just as unimpressed with her as many of us are…and consequently can’t be bothered to remember her name.
The “Blink And You Missed It” Award for Best Prop Incident of This Season Thus Far: Derek Tossing his cape during the encore of Team Paso’s Dance…and it lands perfectly and completely covering a guy in the audience
Heidi: Seriously, it was like Derek pronounced him dead….or thought he should go as a ghost for Halloween. It was hilarious and I didn’t see it until the third time through. It makes me want to go back to the performance show and see if it happened then too. Dude was surprised to say the least….he scrabbled at his face like a Mark Ballas with a face full of Mail Order Bride hair.
Courtney: Ok, I was part of the “blinked & missed it” crowd – but it sounds hilarious. Like something out of CSI: DWTS. All Derek needs to do now is say something cheesy as he tosses his cape over the cadaveric audience member & then put on some wayfarers to the strains of a Who song.
Celeb Line O’the Night, Results Show: David Arquette for “I can’t be leaving!! This is MY show!!”
Heidi: This of course resulted in a studio wide guffaw at Maks’ expense…and I can always get behind that.
Courtney: As can I! I think even Maks had to chuckle at that one…hard to get angry at the lovable class clown, even when he’s pointing out how big of a boob you are.
Tommy B. Line O’the Night, Results Show: “We’ve Got Horses, We’ve Got Mules, welcome to Dancing with the Livestock!!”
Heidi: This of course followed a discussion about Rob and if he is or isn’t the “dark horse” – he proceeded to flummox Brooke by declaring that since he was human he doesn’t feel like he’s a dark horse. This gets an A+ of course. Where does the mule come in?? Well, apparently Tristan works Nancy like one, which was, frankly, a visual I didn’t need. Maybe Tristan and Kym…
Courtney: Wanky!!! Lol…I don’t think Kym & Tristan shag like mules…I bet they do it like dolphins or something. Really & truly, I have no idea how dolphins land the deal, but I imagine it being quite graceful & stuff. Anywho! Rob’s actually the mule here – and an intelligent one at that, since he gave such a literal smartass response to yet another one of Brooke’s dumb questions. I think I really start to like a celeb once they figure out how to torment Brooke