When Teaching Dance Goes Too Far: Should ‘Dance Moms’ Be taken Off The Air?
Do any of you watch the Lifetime reality show “Dance Moms”? I’ve never watched it, but, last night, Dancing With The Stars pro Derek Hough took to twitter with his criticisms of it. After doing a search at You Tube to watch some of the footage, I was truly horrified at what’s going on. Question: is it right to abuse little kids when teaching them how to dance even if it means that the abuse could turn them into “stars” and “dance champions” someday? And what about sexually exploiting them? Go here to get a summation of the show and how it’s created a controversy and why. Below is a video as well that will give you a little example of the instructor and the moms for how they act while the little girls sit by and watch. This is just sad im opinion. 
Huge Kudos to Derek for standing up to how wrong this is!!!
Below is a take from MSNBC on it which includes Dereks’ tweets and reaction;
“I’m sorry but this Dance mom show is straight up abusive,” the three-time “Dancing” champ wrote. “Kids Run!!!!!!! It ain’t right. Child abuse isn’t right. I’m livid right now.”
Hough knows a thing or two about how talented, young hoofer hopefuls should train. Not only were his parents and grandparents dancers, too, but both he and his younger sister Julianne moved to London as children to train under fellow “Dancing” pro and ballroom vet Corky Ballas and his then-wife Shirley.
“There’s a difference between being strict and being abusive,” he went on to write. “I believe in discipline and a strong work ethic. But there is nothing productive about screaming and making little girls cry over being on the wrong foot.”
When Miller visited TODAY last year, she defended her sometimes scream-filled approach.
“All children learn differently,” she said. “Some children you can speak calmly and nicely to. ‘You need to open up your hip and press your knee back. Turn out on your passe.’ I can speak to them that way. Other children you have to yell at ‘til you’re blue in the face.”
Penny for your thoughts while we await more Dancing With The Stars news, leaks, and rumors. I say take this show off the air. No one should be abusing kids.
Maks has been abusive for a long time now. Last season he even manhandled Hope- still people made excuses. Why the double standard? Is it because Maks is a man and hot?
They were all on the View yesterday. Granted no I dont like what I see on dance moms but it is a reality tv show. After watching the View clips I begin to wonder what we DONT see that left on the editing room floor. Asking if Dance Moms should be taken off air well there are quite a few other shows out there Id like to see go first.
This should not just be for dance, it should be for EVERY sport, if I, as a gymnastics coach, ever did anything remotely close to that, I would be out on my ear before i could say abuse or even spell it.
Shouting at a child, who takes longer than the next child, would not make her/him get it any quicker, YOU have to change the way you coach them.
and yes HUGE Kudos to Derek for standing up to how wrong this is.
I find that Dance Moms seems to focus less on the hard work of the dancers and more on the downright disgusting behavior of the teachers/choreographers – and I’m wondering if this is a case of these women acting a bit over-the-top at the behest of the folks behind the camera, who want some juicy footage to boost ratings. If not – then maybe women this heinously bitchy actually do exist.
And I agree with Derek that there’s a big difference between being strict & abusive as a teacher – Shirley Ballas is one tough cookie, and one of the strictest and most demanding coaches I’ve ever head. But she would NEVER scream her head off like this Abby woman, or hurl such cutting insults at kids and adults alike. Shirley may point out that you’re not opening your hip enough, but she isn’t going to call you stupid for not being able to do so. We have enough bullying going on these days between kids…we don’t need adults like this Abby character jumping into the fray. And I hate to break it to her, but kids do not have control of their emotions in the same way adults do (or are supposed to) – calling them stupid, incompetent, and every other name in the book is usually gonna make them shut down and cry, not shape them into better dancers. We have the phrase “kid gloves” for a reason 
And I’m not even gonna touch the Maks argument. Too many people on both sides of it with strong opinions, and they don’t know when it’s time to move on.
If you take the first part of your question “is it right to abuse little kids” then you’ll have your answer
I’ve watched Dance Moms a few times and the most offensive thing to me is how she compares the children to each other, i.e, the pyramid she has after every competition. Plus the moms display a great deal of jealously, IMO towards this one child in particular.
The girls are very talented and they do win their matches but the pressure she puts on them is a bit too much.
The moms complain and are very vocal towards Abbey, yet they continue to send their children to her school. Like Derek said, I understand strict but she clearly crosses the line into abusive.
Abbey was on The View yesterday. I’m sure it’s probably posted online. I saw a few minutes of their interview with her and they did kinda let her have it.
Maybe this negative attention Abbey is receiving will make her change some of her teaching techniques.
We must be fair, because Mark has also gone onto a twitter rant about this….. It’s not just Derek. Mark’s had discussions on twitter with some about it, some defending the woman’s practices.
Never saw the show, never will see the show. Some of the moms at my daughters’ dance studio did, and they decided it’s disgusting.
I agree that the show should be taken off. It is my belief that some reality shows will go to some degree to boost ratings and this one shouldn’t even be aired at all. I’ve felt this way about DWTS for some time, where the show try to boost up ratings but sometimes reality shows can go too far. Here is one great example of what I’m talking about. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1205961/Murder-ratings-Brazilian-crime-host-went-killing-spree-boost-viewing-numbers.html
“Dance Moms” is one show I just won’t watch. Saw some snippets of it when it first came on, it was just way too OTT for me. Just one opinion, but I think it’s a combination of being OTT to get ratings, and just being a bunch of wall-eyed bitches to begin with… (Did I actually say that?)
So, I figure they’ll do whatever they’re gonna do, but I don’t have to watch it – so I don’t…
Fair? I definitely saw Mark’s comments this weekend but Derek’s just hit home for me. I’m glad they are both speaking that’s what’s most important. Hopefully something is done about this.
Screaming and yelling at children and calling them names, or stupid IS child abuse by parents or anyone else. And it teaches the child to mimic that behaviour especially if they get frustrated.
I can’t believe this show and others, like toddlers and tiaras are even aired. They are more about psycho adults and mostly Moms trying to capture lost dreams thru their kid, than anything else. SAD
Lori, sorry, hope I don’t sound mean. The show did kinda upset me.
I’ve never seen a show like this one and I’ll never will and the reason is just one…they make me sick!!!
I’ve only seen the video you have here as a link in the text, but I can’t see the video you posted on the page cause it’s blocked in my country on copyrights ground.
Personally, I don’t blame the ‘teacher’ for her way. Unfortunately, that’s the way she knows and can ‘teach’. I don’t say that it’s right cause sure is NOT, but if she thinks in her tiny little head that she’s right, we can’t do anything to change that. And for sure, I don’t blame the little girls. They are only the victims here. Victims of their mothers who are the only ones to blame!!!
These girls are paying the price of their mothers’ dream. I strongly believe that the parents who are treating to their children like this, are the parents who didn’t manage to do THEIR dreams come true. And these mothers here probably wanted to become dancers, but for some reasons (that I don’t care and don’t want to know) they didn’t manage to do it. So, they are forcing their kids to do it and the worst thing is that they are making them believe that it’s their dream. One of the moms said that dancing destroyed her marriage…but that’s not the worst thing. The worst thing is that she is not even realizing that the whole situation is wrong! Obsessions only disaster can bring! If they were in their senses the first thing they would do it would be to take their children far away from that ‘teacher’!
What I also saw in the video, is that the children are afraid of their ‘teacher’. That’s not the relationship a student must have with a teacher.
Anyway…I don’t want to go further and I am sorry if I am a little bit over the top here, but shows like this one make me so angry and disgusted!
I watch this show because my teenage daughters love it. It’s reality tv, which I think most of us know is far from reality. I think the majority of what you see is scripted and manipulated for shock value. I have a friend who knows one of the moms, and she, and almost everyone (kids included) on The View yesterday said you don’t see the rest of the story. When the moms are arguing, the girls are never in the room, they splice in pictures of them looking upset. They had a scene a couple weeks ago where Abbey was hugging one of the girls during a practice session, telling her she danced so beautiful she made her cry. She has been seen in several shows taking one or more of the girls out for ice cream or lunch. Not crazy about the pyramid, but I think almost every kid has been on top so far this season, they all have a time to shine. I’m not crazy about her teaching techniques if she’s yelling, but I also know that my daughter’s cheer coaches have been known to yell on occasion! I certainly would rather my girls watch this show than lots of others out there, including Jersey Shore or Bad Girls Club
In my ‘rambling’ I forgot to say a huge BRAVO to Derek Hough for standing up in the show and how wrong is that!!
Even if the show is just “spliced” and depicted that way, it’s still wrong and sends out all the wrong messages. Alot of people watching don’t realize that. It’s shameful when these shows exploit certain people, issues or women, etc, for ratings, but to do it to children is abuse and the parents are also to blame.
Can’t stand most reality tv….DWTS is the only show in that category that I watch.
And yes, BRAVO, Derek Hough!!
Kudos to Mark and Derek and I want to add, I wish all celebs would speak out and weigh in on these important issues, and if people boycott these shows they will be taken off if they have no viewers!
Would you want your child exposed to all of this for a few moments of flame? Would you sell out your child too? I blame the producers and Miller, but also the mothers that allow their children to be involved, because that is bad parenting at it’s worst!
People worried about being “fair” because Mark mentioned it before Derek really have kinda missed the point. It’s not about Mark or Derek – from what I hear, Louis and Lacey both mentioned this show MONTHS ago. So there, get over it. Saw a bunch of whining on twitter, don’t want to see it here. Back to the TOPIC.
I don’t care if it’s a reality show – children shouldn’t be treated like that even if they are told it’s “pretend”. They don’t process things the way adults do and it likely still has an impact on them and their psyche. I don’t think that children should be involved in so-called reality shows anyway – it strikes me as exploitative. They “want” to do it?? Maybe what they want is to please mommy or daddy. And maybe it’s mommy or daddy who are invested in “dance” or gymnastics…or the reality show. You see it in little league all the time. It’s ridiculous then too.
As for Maks – the only thing I’ll say is this. I didn’t like his behavior and thought it was wrong – but Hope is an ADULT and can take care of herself. You can’t reasonably compare what Maks does with his partners to what this woman does to her students. They’re young and not fully emotionally developed yet.
Here! Here! Heidi! I totally agree.
Like with DWTS, where some people argue that certain couples just get “bad edits”, I know some folks are going argue that the same thing happens on shows like Dance Moms. Well, “bad edits” notwithstanding, some of the stuff I’ve heard out of Abby’s mouth is still completely inappropriate, even if it was “out of context” – and as I always say with DWTS, if all you give the editors is bad stuff to work with, then all you’re going to get is bad edits. You can’t always blame the editors – all they’re doing is working with the raw material they’re given, and manipulating it to create the most ratings-worthy product. If you give them a reason to spin it, they will. And after perusing other interviews with Abby, I see that even she’s not claiming to have gotten “bad edits” – she’s defending her teaching methods, but not trying to blame TPTB for making her look like a bitch…at least she’s owning it
I have a daughter who competed nationally in both cheerleading and dance-winning a national title. Her coach was VERY driven, but never resorted to the tactics this woman has shown. I would never send a child of mine to her. I was totally unaware of the show until Mark’s rant on Monday night. It’s a shame that there are teachers out there who resort to this instead of inspiring their students to the heights with other motivating methods.
I was unaware that Louis and Lacey have spoken out previously about the show, but was glad that WetPaint brought up the fact, as well as including Mark’s comments, along with Derek’s.
Should the show be cancelled? She should be cancelled but this show may be the only way to show how inappropriate her methods really are.
I applaud Derek for taking a verbal and firm stand on this controversial show. You all know he is usually not one to voice his opinion on controversial topics/events. With that said, I did watch one episode of ‘Dance Moms’ when it first began airing. I just got this horrible vibe from the dance teacher Abbey right off the bat. It seems she scares her students into getting results. In the show, Abbey was working with a young dance couple (prob 11 and 12 yo) and she didn’t think they had any chemistry so she made them go out on dates with each other (even though it was clear they didn’t like each other like that) to build chemistry. I know it’s a reality show, but the kind of message it’s sending out there to kids and parents is a negative one.
Producers want ratings and they created Maks’ bad boy image and it’s all for show people. They want drama, conflict and sensationalism Geez, wake up! Do you think the characters on Soap Operas are real too?
Yes, this show is exploiting these children as I said before, and it’s not the child that’s cashing the check each week. Think about it! And yes, children listen and they’re impressionable and that was my point.. they should not be on that set.. Period!
#JORDY- Totally agree with you.
One of my childhood friends danced with and retried from the New York State BAllet Co ( hope I have the name right ). While growing up and taking classes, her instructor would strike her legs with a wooden stick whenever she did something wrong. It was quite painful. Her parents knew and never protected her.
Sometimes the child is the only sane one in the room.
Retired…not retried.
Agree with Jordy and Heidi and Bravo to Derek for his comments! I think “Dance Moms” is an appalling show which exploits innocent little girls and places them in an abusive environment. Plus,what are Abbey’s teaching and dance credentials anyway? Has she won international and world dancing championships like the talented and sought-after coach Shirley Ballas? Seems to me she is just a loud bully getting her claim to fame at the expense of innocent cildren. Somebody needs to protect these kids….their parents perhaps? Oh that’s right, their moms are part of the abuse as well. It is so sad.
absolutely dispicable behavior from all adults in the short clip I saw here. I was not aware of this show at all, but have to agree with everyone here about the exploitation of children.
I must say, I felt the same way about the Gosselin clan – the children miss the production crew to the point of tears? they really loved doing the show and miss it so much it’s causing them distress to have been cancelled? give me a break. Mommy misses the $$$$$$ and the spotlight is more like it.
If adults want to behave this way towards each other, that’s their perrogative. But please leave the tots out of it. Growing up is hard enough already in today’s world, do we really need to add all this crap to the equation.
that’s not to slam reality shows in general – DWTS being top on my list. I also enjoy Amazing Race and really loved Extreme Expedition, although hard to top that first season so they may not be back ;(
I applaud both Derek & Mark for their comments. This show is appalling. The only thing this will accomplish is to produce an entire group of kids who have horrible memories of dance class growing up, and will probably run in the other direction when & if given a chance.
Heidi is correct! LVA & Lacey have previously mentioned it. SO therefore neither Mark nor Derek were first. Can’t quite understand a handful of Mark’s fans on twitter & FB dissing the “pure” site because they feel credit is given to Derek…grow up! Have a nice day lol
Dee, I understood what you said…. I did prefer how Derek put it, it seems to resonate more…. Just look at the response it’s gotten?
DW, to expand on what you’ve said… PLEASE don’t take this as fact, because I could be missing something, but does Abbey actually HAVE any credentials, and why would anyone send their kids to her to teach them to dance, if she’s never danced?
And Shirley and Corky….. Since Abbey seems to only be about the RESULTS she gets, and that is proof that what she does is okay….. How about how many of Ballas students have become professional dancers on DWTS? Most, just on our version here in the US. How about the number in England? Poland? Anywhere else? And, let’s not forget that at least 8 out of 13 of our DWTS Mirror Balls went home with Ballas trained professionals. And that’s just here….
I think their teaching methods have gotten more results!
Apparently, from what I have read, Abby Lee has been teaching for something like 30 years and has turned out many dance champions. She has students currently in Broadway featured and starring roles, and if I’m remembering correctly, someone who was one SYTYCD.
HOW she does this with her methods, I have no clue.
Oh Jesus – you people really can’t get away from pitting one pro against the other or making it all about the pros, can you??
YOU wake up, Jordy – you think MAKS, of all people, is reading from a script and it was all a lie? Get real. Even Maks is owning it at this point and is not blaming he edit. Good thing too, since from what I heard, what you saw was how it was. Now watch your tone or I will just start deleting you. And that would be a shame when the season hasn’t even started yet.
I’m in high school and I’ve been dancing jazz and contemporary since I was four and competing since I was six.
I disagree with the pyramid ranking system and with the insanity that the mothers exhibit on a regular basis, but (as has been said before) it is reality TV and this is all done for show. I’ve taken classes from Abby at ALD before when I’ve been in Pittsburgh and she is not at all like she is on the show. I’m certainly not claiming to know her well, but I’ve experienced as well as heard from other dancers that she is totally different.
It’s all a production. Not that that makes it right, of course.
Interesting comments Rory… Even if it’s all just for the ‘entertainment value’, shows like Dance Moms, Toddlers and Tiaras, 16 and Pregnant, etc. aren’t shows that I would ever recommend or recommend watching because to me they just exemplify many things that are wrong with our society today. To know that shows like this, the Kardashians, Jersey Shore is what people want to watch (basically watching train wrecks) is quite worrisome to me. =/
I was not saying it’s scripted, but the drama and conflicts are encouraged because it helps the ratings and keeps it interesting for the viewers. I’m sorry if my tone was offensive but I find it mildly amusing when people believe everything the hear or see on E TV and other venues of the media, because it’s all just for ratings and to sell more magazines and often twisted or total fiction.
:::sigh::: Jordy, the producers can NOT make Maks and Hope do things they don’t want to do. If they don’t want DRAMA aired about their partnership, then they shouldn’t give the producers drama. This whole “Oh, the producers just edit it that way for drama and ratings” is just an excuse Maks fans come up with to excuse his deplorable behavior. The IMPLICATION in your posts is that it’s not real (in addition to you smirking at people who believe it in this case). Now, you can’t have it both ways – either it’s scripted or it’s real. Encouraging it is a whole nother kettle of fish. Of course they encourage it – that does not mean it isn’t REAL. And it doesn’t mean that they have to cave in and create fake situations. It is quite real in this case. Courtney and I have both heard that that was VERY real. And we have no reason to doubt our source. You “find it mildly amusing”? I find it ignorant and condescending in the extreme when you talk down to the intelligent people who post here as if you are somehow smarter than them. You aren’t. I think you actually have that backwards in this case. Now, lose the condescension.
To answer your question, Vogue, no, it is never okay to abuse children. Sure, that dancer may become “something” one day but at what cost? I went through dance as a student for many years and have also assisted in teaching younger dancers. I have found that if a teacher responds to a student in a belittling way or with an overly harsh tone, the child is more than likely to shut down. Being strict, never cruel and using positive reinforcement can go a long way. The students on this show are being exposed to negative environments and situations that they will surely remember for the rest of their lives. Students look up to their teachers and parents for guidance and support and they tend to aim to please them by doing whatever it takes. What do the students get out of watching these same people bicker with each other? I realize that most of this isn’t exactly breaking news and that similar situations probably occur everyday in many different locations. However, I think that taking the show off the air would be best for the students because things may cool off a bit if people weren’t so eager for ratings. I also think that having the show air tells younger audiences (if they happen to be watching) that taking similar abuse is okay. (Sorry for length).
I’m just very proud of Mark and Derek and anyone who speaks out about this deplorable show that demeans children, because no one should subjected to that kind of abuse, especially not children.
This evening I watched Dance Moms for the last time. I’ll admit that I enjoyed watching the show, but it was never the drama that attracted me. I just liked following the careers of some promising young dancers. I’ve always been repulsed by the way Abby treats the girls, but tonight was the last straw. She actually put them in Las Vegas showgirl costumes and proceeded to teach them to “look like you’re nude” and perform a virtual peep show with alternating glimpses of “crotch, boobies, crotch, boobies”! Several of the girls, who usually never question Abby, verbalized how uncomfortable they felt, saying things like, “I don’t want to look like I’m naked onstage!”
This has crossed the line and become downright sexual exploitation. Stuff like this should be illegal. Unfortunately, the only power we as viewers have is to contact the show’s sponsors to express our displeasure. The network doesn’t care; the more controversy their show generates, the better. If you agree that this show has gone too far, please get in touch with the companies that buy ad time on this show and let them know that you won’t be buying their products as long as they support Dance Moms.
That is the correct approach. Boycott their products and let the sponsors know why and how you feel and boycott the show. If their ratings take a dive even the producers won’t ignore that outcry. Miller defended herself on E stating that this was the only way to get through to some kids, and we know better, and that they’re ungrateful because they’re on a TV show. Miller is a bit too full of herself on a new level and yes, this is exploitation and sadly it’s the parents that are exploiting their children for a moment of fame, but it fades and then the children are damaged, ask Kate Gosling.
Concerned, that is awful. I agree with JJ! You are doing the right thing by not watching the show and boycotting anything to do with it. As long as people are watching, they won’t take it off the air and the abuse and exploitation will never stop. Ya know…I always had a lot of respect for the Lifetime channel. I thought they were a cut above the rest. Not anymore. Sad!!