So the other day, we counted down the top 10 worst first week cha-cha’s in DWTS history. As you can see, we only have a top 5 for this countdown – probably because there have only been 37 week 1 foxtrots in the history of the show, and the bulk of them are neither good nor bad…but just hard to remember Only a handful have stuck out in my memory as notable – and those are the ones you are seeing But first, some factoids for your enjoyment…
*The foxtrot has only been used as a week 1 dance in 7 seasons: seasons 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, & 12. The other seasons have either had a waltz (seasons 1, 2, & 8) or a Viennese waltz (seasons 10, 11, 13) as the week 1 ballroom dance. Season 9 had both the foxtrot and the Viennese waltz as first week ballroom dances.
*The lowest week 1 foxtrot score ever given was a 13 – it was given to Mike & Lacey in season 12.
*Besides the 3 newest pros (Val, Tristan, & Peta), the only pro this season that’s never done the foxtrot as a regular week 1 dance is Derek – unless you count the foxtrot relay in season 9 (I don’t, because it was only 30 seconds ;-)).
5.) TIE: Sara & Tony, season 3 and Leeza & Tony, season 4
Zzzzzzzz….uh, um, what? Sorry, fell asleep – thought I was watching paint dry, at the rate these foxtrots were moving! I’m not sure if these ladies thought they would shatter into a million pieces if they moved more than an inch or two, but there was just so little going on in these numbers – just some very slow strolling and painfully cautious turns. The foxtrot is already a pretty simple dance, so it’s up to the pros and their celeb partners to inject some much-needed jazz into it to make it entertaining…and when they don’t, you get these sleepy, unremarkable foxtrots that I bet half of you probably didn’t remember.
4.) Rocco & Karina, season 7
Rocco seemed like a really nice guy, but he was pretty dorky on the dance floor You could tell he was really trying as he bobbed and skipped and flailed his platter hands across the floor here, but he also had the “I feel like a massive tool” look on his face the whole time. Granted, I think both he & Karina were nervous about her ankle injury earlier that day, but honestly – Rocco was just not a dancer. Sorry, dude..
3.) Cloris & Corky, season 7
I believe the term Bruno used summed it up best: this was like “Battleship Geriatrica”, with Cloris fighting against a lifetime’s worth of wear & tear, and trying not to fracture a hip while tippy-toeing around the floor with Corky. Thank God Cloris was hilarious, because I may not have been able to watch her dance – this almost looks painful, and at times I wondered if she might get disoriented and topple over if she spun too hard. It was cute, but it pretty elementary…and SLOW. Reeeeaalllly, reeeeealllly slow.
2.) Adam & Julianne, season 6
I think this was probably a bit of a “I don’t really give a f*ck” season for both Adam AND Julianne – because this foxtrot was a big dose of awkward with a touch of “whatever”. Adam’s stiff as a board, with slouchy shoulders and “frying pan hands” that could take somebody’s eye out, and Julianne seems to have taken the “I’ll just dance around him as hard & fast as I can and hope that nobody notices how bad he is!” route. Overall, kind of a cop-out. Oh well…Julianne already had 2 MBT’s. Going for a 3rd would just be greedy, right?
1.) Mike & Lacey, season 12
I wish I could say that I hated this routine, but in retrospect, it was zany & self-deprecating to the point of being pure AWESOME. Mike knew he couldn’t dance, and he knew that nobody knew who he was. I’m pretty sure Lacey kinda knew, too. So what do you do when you’re a nobody that can’t dance and your partner has a trailer trash dye job? Why, you bust out the lasers and the silver lame and dance as if you’re under the influence of certain funguses, that’s what you do! Crummy song, crummy dancing, crummy costuming…but a whole lot of awesome.
So kids, do we have any eye-bleeders in this bunch? Or can any of you even remember any first-week foxtrots? Now that you’ve dealt with the bad, tune in for the good – coming up later this week!