DWTS 16, Week 3 – Power Rankings

Well…that was special.  Aside from a few bright spots, I don’t know that I could have choreographed a sh*tshow that was sh*ttier than tonight’s show – yeah, it was pretty bad.  I guess I expected it to be pretty tacky, given the whole prom theme…but there were some all-time lows hit tonight.  And there was some definite tinkering going on with the scoring – scoring that makes me think they’re trying to backdoor some floundering couples.  But let’s right to it, shall we?

1.) Jacoby & Karina – I still stand by my week 1 claim that Jacoby is a shoo-in for the finale and will likely play spoiler to whoever else ends up there and will pull out a win.  And tonight really solidified that for me – because this guy can DANCE.  Sure, he’s a little cocky, a lot kooky, and can handle the goofy, uptempo dances like the cha-cha and jazz…but the true test was him tackling the rumba tonight, and that he did.  He actually let down his guard quite a bit and showed us a vulnerable side – I thought their rumba was quite lovely, and Jacoby had some great extensions and footwork going on.  A few footwork issues, sure, but overall, he & Karina really sold it for me, chemistry-wise.  And here’s the big advantage he may have over Kellie & Zendaya: he’s got a bit more of a learning curve to work with.  While Kellie & Zendaya are both great dancers, I’m beginning to think that viewers (and their increasingly unpredictable voting behavior) may tire of them topping the leaderboard week after week…and while Jacoby is still up there pretty close, he may get a bit more leeway because he’s more unexpected – it’s a bigger shock that Jacoby’s legitimately good, than it is for Kellie or Zendaya.  Who knows…I never really know what to think about the voting from week to week.  But I do know he’s safe for quite awhile.

2.) Kellie & Derek – Did one of you mention that Kellie was sick this week? If so, I will cut her a bit of slack on what I thought was a good (but not great) performance, and applaud her for soldiering through.  I think this had the potential to be a fantastic routine – they got a great song and a great theme to work with, and this stuff is right in Derek’s wheelhouse.  Very fun jive (without copying any moves from the movie, mind you), and Kellie kept up pretty well for the first half – but then I think she got tired and lost steam, and suddenly she wasn’t bouncing quite as much and her kicks got a bit soft.  But it was still a great performance, and I sincerely doubt she’s in any danger this week…but I am crossing my fingers that she can somehow pull off getting prom queen J

3.) Zendaya & Val – For as much hype as I was hearing about this dance being “very emotional” – this seemed pretty upbeat and cheery.  Don’t get me wrong, it was still lovely and I thought Zendaya handled it well, but I don’t necessarily know that it came off as super emotional or solemn.  Have to agree with Len a bit – a little too much “open flailing” across the board in all the Viennese waltzes we saw tonight, but at least her extensions were nice.  Two potential problems that are starting to surface, and the first is one I mentioned last week: her legs are just so LONG that she hasn’t quite mastered how to place them so she stays on-balance, and she has a tendency to hold her neck too high and looks at the ceiling when she’s in hold…which looks a bit freaky, because it can look like someone’s in a trance :-P The neck and eyes are an easy fix – but the legs may be an ongoing struggle throughout the season that Val will have to contend with.  Overall, a very pleasant (if not a bit repetitive) dance to watch, but I don’t think it was her best.

4.) Aly & Mark – Is it just me, or are all of Ed Sheeran’s songs super-duper sad? This song was such a Debbie Downer – and I’m left scratching my head at this dance overall.  I thought it took wayyyy too long to get started, and the flaily hand section at the beginning just looked kind of misplaced.  When they finally managed to get into hold, there was a lot of bobbing up-and-down going on – and Viennese waltz really has minimal rise and fall, because it’s so fast that you don’t have time to do so.  And worst of all: it left me feeling tepid, and rather “whatever” about the whole thing.  Aly is just not really projecting much to the audience, IMO – and it’s making her boring and forgettable.  However, she seems to have the judges on her side, as I think this was overscored by a point or so…not sure if she’s being pimped, so much as maybe just being given a fighting chance by the judges, but I do know this: she better find a way to connect, and soon.

5.) Ingo & Kym – God love Ingo, the man is really, really trying :-P As I predicted before the season started, poor Ingo is just not a very natural mover – and unfortunately it shows, as he seemed to have some rather significant issues with his frame, and was pulling some hilariously awkward faces during this paso.  And in a rare misstep – I found Kym’s choreography to be a bit awkward and jerky…maybe she had to change it because Ingo was struggling? Who knows.  But Ingo does seem to be appealing to the judges, as I thought 21 was a bit kind…I might have given it a 20.  And he does seem to have fans who give a damn, since #promIngo was trending for quite awhile this evening.  The question is: are those fans also voting? I think they are, and it’s going to keep him around for awhile…but will he have the juice to get past powerhouses like Kellie, Zendaya, & Jacoby?

6.) Sean & Peta – The only reason I have these two this high was because that cha-cha was the hottest mess I’ve seen on this show since Team Gangnam Style…and that’s pretty hot & messy :-P However, hot messes can get quite a few votes, too – especially if they’re entertaining, and I have to admit: I did find myself smiling as I watched this flamboyant train wreck…although I thought it was really the troupe that made the dance, and could have enjoyed it without Sean & Peta even in it.  I wasn’t really paying attention to what those two knuckleheads were doing, but it appeared to be the typical Peta cha-cha fare – some random, stompy side-by-side stuff and her wiggling around dressed as the trampiest Indian I’ve ever seen :-P Sean seemed stompy, off-time, and awkward, and probably should have gotten raked across the coals for a dance this bad – but I think these two got a bit of a free pass this week, just given that they got such an outrageous song & theme.  *sigh* Guess I can tolerate them for another week or two – especially since that one dance provided enough fodder for an entire week’s worth of cheesecake!

7.) Andy & Sharna – Poor Andy – I had a feeling he’d have an off-week once he had to deal with Latin, and he did seem to come unhinged in rehearsals again…hopefully that package won’t hurt him too much in votes.  Admittedly, there wasn’t a whole lot of cha-cha in this cha-cha, and the little bit of cha-cha that was there was a train wreck.  Andy definitely seemed like he was trying, but he got a little stone-faced when doing the cha-cha steps, and you could practically hear him counting it out.  However, the non-cha-cha parts were the usual comedic gold – and very fun to watch Andy cutting loose.  Now while 18 isn’t exactly a great score (especially this week), he does have two people below him, and one is considerably less likeable – and I do find it telling that they compelled Brooke to mention that Andy and Sharna had put in the most rehearsal hours this week, as if to say “Ok, he bombed, but you should still vote for him because he’s trying!”  I have a feeling these two are getting more votes than we initially thought, and are probably safe this week based on likeability alone.  But I do hope that Andy can improve soon…I like him :-)

8.) Victor & Lindsay – Did they do better this week than last week? Of course – but I think they were very overscored for a  dance that was 80% lifts, with the hard parts being done by Lindsay.  Watched this routine again and Victor just seems to be catching Lindsay and prepping for the next lift for most of it, and the parts he’s not, he’s just kind of awkwardly running down the stage.  Once again, I feel like I need to take Lindsay to task for giving him weak choreography – because this routine didn’t seem cohesive and was wayyyy too lift-heavy.  But I guess it didn’t really matter, because they still got a 23 – which makes me wonder if Victor & Lisa got a bit of a boost this week, in an attempt to send D.L. packing.  The only problem is that I still feel like Victor & Lindsay are pretty forgettable, and will probably only get a slight boost in votes this week.  Will it be enough for them to stick around? My gut says yes, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see them in jeopardy.

9.) Wynonna & Tony – Yikes, this was bad to the bone – there’s unfortunately no real kind way to put it.  If Sean & Peta’s cha-cha was an entertaining hot mess, this…was just a mess. Once again, Wy barely seemed to move, and while she did seem to sell the sass well enough, she never seemed to really cut completely loose.  And Tony??? Dude, some of these themes are just plain bad – channeling Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages and jumping up on the stripper pole? Just…no.  And was it just me, or did he actually talk back to the judges??? Dude, just don’t – I know you’ve got an MBT now, but it’s generally best to just keep your mouth shut when they’re prattling on…especially if your celeb was as bad as Wy was tonight.  I’m a little sad that Wy isn’t doing better – on night one, she seemed so promising…and now she’s positively sedate when she’s dancing.  They really lowballed her on this one – but I’m thinking she’s got the votes to pull through.  But she has really got to wake up and let loose next week – and Tony’s really gotta push her.

10.) Lisa & Gleb – Ok, so while it wasn’t a vast improvement, it was still an improvement over last week and the week before.  Yes, there were still some glaring issues with footwork, frame, and timing – but for Lisa, it was an improvement, and she did seem more relaxed out on the floor tonight.  I think 21 was a very, very lenient score – which seems to lend credence to the theory that they’re trying to keep her around, while backdooring certain others.  Will it work? Who knows – I sure hope so.  But I think they will likely end up in the bottom 2 again, and I just wish they could figure out that all the shirtless pix of Gleb & Giggy tweeting in the world can’t distract from bad dancing – and that they would just buckle down and practice harder. 

11.) D.L. & Cheryl – Ok, I will hand it to D.L.: this was his best dance so far.  But that really isn’t saying much, because his cha-cha and quickstep were pretty damn bad, and this salsa was a lot of flash & trash and not a whole lot of…well, salsa.  And guess who’s to blame for that? I’ll give you a hint – she was endorsing adult underwear in a commercial that aired during the show tonight.  :-P I get it, Cheryl – D.L. can’t dance for beans.  But at least try to make it look like you actually tried to choreograph a salsa, instead of a series of random booty-shaking moves with a cross body lead and salsa basic peppered in every now and then…because the judges will call you out on it.  And since the judges did indeed come down hard on them this week (while being comparably easy on Lisa & Victor), I’m thinking they may be trying to bounce him out this week…which I can’t say I disagree with.  While he does seem like he’s at least enjoying himself now, I still find myself “Ugh, please just shut up!” whenever D.L. tries to crack a joke.  It’s getting painful – let’s end it tomorrow, k? 

So did you guys have a good time at DWTS Prom? Or was your date a total bust? And who do you think will end up as king & queen? I’m hoping for Andy & Kellie – but if the trending on Twitter was any indicator, it will probably be Ingo & Zendaya.  *Sigh*…