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DWTS Season 16, Weeks 6 and 7 – The Cheesecake Awards, SUPERSIZED!!

Week 7 was actually so bad that I (Heidi) couldn’t come up with very many awards. I was overwhelmed. And not in a good way. :-)

WEEK 6

The “Who’s That Girl??” Award: Sharna Burgess for looking strikingly different in the rehearsal footage than she does on the actual show.

Heidi: She’s seriously naturally gorgeous without the make up – I think prettier without it. I think it’s the uniqueness of the dark hair and the blue eyes. Let’s hope she keeps it that way. For the love of all that is holy, DO NOT dye your hair blonde, Sharna. I know the temptation may be over whelming, but RESIST. Blonde females are a dime a dozen on that show.

Courtney: I think the makeup department may be to blame in this instance – they just love to over-smoke her eyes, just like they love to over-line Peta’s eyes, and put nude lipstick on Lindsay to make it look like she has no mouth.  They have an uncanny way of making naturally gorgeous ladies look totally over-done.  And as for the blondes – it’s times like this where I really miss Anna.  I could always spot her red hair whipping around in that sea of blonde :-(

The Award for Person Most likely to Earn a Punch in the Mouth (a.k.a. If you don’t STFU, I’m going to hit you HARD): Len Goodman, Sean Lowe and Ingo Rademacher for the constant mentions of Andy’s name, sometimes in a derrogatory way (Len).

Heidi: Seriously, you jackasses are that threatened by Andy?? Pissing me off, you were. Perhaps you too noticed all the females surround Andy after his dances….Kellie, Sharna, Kym, to name a few. Not to mention Derek is always high fiving him.  Me thinks you dudes are jealous. Don’t know what Len’s problem was – they showed on the results show that they scored Sean because he was “better than Andy.” What the hell??

Courtney: Methinks Sean & Ingo realized that Andy was quickly nipping at their heels in terms of ability – he was improving each week, while they were…languishing.  Plus Andy was gaining popularity, while they were…maybe not.  Andy may not have always been a stellar dancer, but he was definitely not fading into the woodwork like either of them.  As for Len – he’s just a horrible human being.  That’s the conclusion I’ve reached.

The Award for Person Most in Need of A Mirror….and a new lamp….and a glimpse at his Birth Certificate: Mark Ballas, for not only wearing his hat (with what looked to be a penis on it) cocked to the side like he’s all thug, but for wearing hammer pants and having gauges in his ears; (Dis)Honorable Mention: Will.i.am – same reason.

Heidi: Really dude?? You’re pushing 30 and you’re totally a white boy born and raised in London….and not the ‘hood portion.  Justin Bieber…who is what? Eight years younger than you? He looks stupid as hell in those outfits and he’s a kid. You, are an adult.  And I totally kept thinking you had a penis on your hat.  At least Will.i.am always looks stupid – you come to expect it. But Mark, you’re a good looking dude (I prefer blondes, but I can acknowledge it :-) ) – why’d you have to ruin it with bizarro costuming even when you’re not performing??

Courtney: I feel like Mark thinks it’s still 2001 and Sum 41 and New Found Glory are still ruling the airwaves.  And Lord knows what was going through Will’s head – that whole performance looked like a robotic bar mitzvah for MC Hammer, held in outer space.  Mazel tov, I guess?

The Blow Harder Award: To the Female Pros Dancing Around Stevie Wonder and blowing him kisses.

Heidi: Yo….Stevie is BLIND. Just sayin’.

Courtney: Poor Stevie probably just wondering why there was a sudden breeze. Read more..

May 5, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Dancing with the Stars Season 16, Week 8 – Who’s Dancing What…and When?

Well, the stupid Twitter vote of the week…is just that. Another stupid twitter vote. Seriously – old men obsessed with Twitter a couple years AFTER the fact = DWTS Producers. So, this week, you get to vote for a dance style for your favorite couple. You get to choose one of these six dances: Afro-Jazz, Disco, Flamenco, Hip-hop, Lindyhop and Charleston. Once again, the producers have made it totally unfair and lopsided by including one dance that most of the pros likely know nothing about….and one dance that one of the contestants does for a living. Yeah, that’s fair. So, sure, let’s take a show that already has a lot of built in unfairness and make it even worse. Afro Jazz in this seasons Bhangra – but somehow I don’t think it will work out nearly as well unless people decide that Derek and Kellie get Afro-Jazz. How about we give the crazy style to someone who already has a lot of advantages – Zendaya. Why do I suspect she’ll end up with the Lindy? Or the hip hop? Not that that will necessarily benefit her this time around. :-)

Anyway, this week’s dances include trios, which actually worked out pretty well last season. I think, this week, Aly and Mark pretty much hit the jackpot. I think Aly will have no trouble with Jive and will likely be fine with AT. I expect Kellie will also do well with both her dances, although Derek is totally bummed that the V Waltz is only a minute and 6 seconds – how does one “connect” in that amount of time. Expect more crap from Carrie Ann “I hate all women with great bodies” Inaba. Of course, it does sound like Derek has a whole theme going that he “hopes” these judges will get. Good luck on that one, buddy. Probably get crap from Len this week too. I think Jacoby will do great with the Paso, but the V. Waltz?? Trouble. Zendaya? Fine and dandy on Salsa but the Foxtrot?? Probably good on that as well, but I don’t think she was quite as lucky as Aly this week. Not that it will matter.

Well, Derek and Kellie went third last week and Zendaya went last, so with my dance order I’m going to guess that they actually play fair and move Zendaya back to the middle. Which means I’ll be wrong, but it will be worth a shot. :-)

Zendaya and Val
Dancing 1st
Foxtrot
Salsa Trio with Gleb
Voting # 1-800-868-3406

Sean and Peta
Dancing 2nd
Tango
Jazz Trio with Sharna
Voting # 1-800-868-3407

Jacoby and Karina
Dancing 3rd
Viennese Waltz
Paso Doble Trio with Cheryl
Voting # 1-800-868-3412

Ingo and Kym
Dancing 4th
Foxtrot
Jive Trio with Lindsay
Voting # 1-800-868-3403

Kellie and Derek
Viennese Waltz
Paso Doble Trio with Tristan
Voting # 1-800-868-3401

Aly and Mark
Dancing 6th
Argentine Tango
Jive Trio with Henry
Voting # 1-800-868-3408

A few pics from @dancingabc on Instagram…

Trio Aly

Trio Ingo

Trio Jacoby

Trio Kellie

Trio Sean

Trio Zendaya

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)