DWTS Season 18, Week 7: Who’s Dancing What…and When?? (SPOILERS)

A comment before we get to this weeks dances… if you claim you hate this site, and then copy what we write verbatim (or copy Courtney’s tweets verbatim), post it to your skating forum or Maks tumblr and take credit for the info, you are a sad, poor thing. Not only are you a hypocrite who spends way more time here than your little friends realize (thanks for the hits!!), but hopefully now your little friends know you got it all from here. :-D Ya stole it with nary a mention of those of us who actually told you what to say. Tisk tisk. Do you think we don’t see?? Honeys, every time you visit the site, we know where you came from. ;-) We appreciate your visits…we’ll put you on blast next time, we appreciate you so much.

Now, on to some other stuff. NeNe is apparently playing a Madam trying to prevent the randy Tony from getting to her girls. Why do I sense multiple, scantily clad females in this dance? And why have all the dances suddenly become “super sized”?? Rarely do I like it. Val’s cups and saucers were cute and Derek’s wedding. That’s it.

Charlie has a song, apparently, that is not even remotely Latin. Why does this guy keep getting screwed?? I don’t get it. Can we have some normal music please? I don’t like Amy’s song either, so there you go.

Apparently, surprising exactly no one, Meryl is quiet as a church mouse in team rehearsals. And word on the street is, as you may have heard Courtney say in the comments, that we shouldn’t be so sure her team will win the team dance, although the dance is good, and fun.

ETA #1: We’re about 80% sure this song is Candace’s…the other 20% thinking it might possibly be NeNe’s. :-) So you’ve been warned.  Apparently Candace is drawing inspiration from a story in the Bible to get into character for her Argentine tango…my memory of the good book is a bit rusty, but maybe the story of Salome and the Dance of Seven Veils? -Court-

ETA #2: And now for another song none of you have probably heard of, and a song that is not exactly Latin :-P Apparently Val picked this song himself, and the artist is Jamaican – either Latin night is Latin only in name, or somebody needs to buy Val a map.  I guess he picked it because he wants to bring out Danica’s “sexy side” – but I don’t think he should hold his breath waiting for her to twerk & whine like these cute Russian girls gyrating to the same song on a pier.  They’re allegedly using the troupe for their dance, just like Meryl & Maks, so I would assume there’s going to be a “brother vs. brother” storyline happening this week; Danica has also injured a rib, and had to skip rehearsal the other day to have it checked out.  The plot thickens…

ETA #3: Poor Charlie. ~Heidi

ETA #4: Court here again with another song spoiler and some info about how rehearsals are going :-) Not sure NeNe’s song really fits the storyline she & Tony have decided on, but I guess it doesn’t matter much because Candace’s Argentine tango is looking really, really good – far better than NeNe’s. I guess Mark has really been working with her on calming her nerves, and it seems to be helping.  As for the two salsas – Meryl is looking fantastic (surprise, surprise) and is having zero issues “shaking it”.  Danica? Not so much – source says she looks “like a librarian” doing the salsa.  I have to wonder if her mobility is just severely limited due to her fractured rib, because she didn’t have any issues “shaking it” back in her week 2 samba.  As for Amy – apparently her rumba “looks beautiful”.

ETA #5: And behold – it’s the song spoiler I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for.  Although that song is really fast, I think Meryl probably fared the best of anyone in the Latin week song department.  Hell, at least it’s actually LATIN :-P However, there was allegedly some more tension between Meryl & Maks in rehearsal yesterday…guess we’ll see if that makes it on the air.  We also have some intel on the boys – apparently both Charlie AND James are having a tough time.  Charlie apparently “looks like Baryshnikov doing paso doble” – meaning it’s looking wayyyy too flowy & balletic.  I doubt the song is helping.  As for James – “his song is nuts and barely has a samba feel because of it”, but the routine is apparently “very ambitious” and he could score big points…IF he can nail it.  And then there’s the team dances – Team Vida has apparently made NeNe the focal point of their dance (with the boys dancing around her a lot) which I’m not sure is the best idea; Team Loca is apparently doing their entire routine on the stage and not venturing down onto the floor – but I wonder if the stage is going to be built out or enlarged, because I simply can’t visualize that small stage working for it. 

Amy and Derek – Rumba
Dancing 1st
1-800-868-3410

James and Peta – Samba (Song: “Gasolina” by Daddy Yankee  )
Dancing 2nd
1-800-868-3402

Charlie and Sharna – Paso Doble (Song: “Sail” by AWOLNATION )
1-800-868-3412

Candace and Mark – Argentine Tango (song: “1977″ by Ana Tijioux  )
1-800-868-3407

NeNe And Tony – Argentine Tango (Song: “Can’t Remember to Forget You” by Shakira Feat. Rihanna )
1-800-868-3401

Danica and Val – Salsa (song: “Watch Out For This (Bumaye)” by Major Lazer )
1-800-868-3403

Meryl and Maks – Salsa (song: “Adrenalina” by Wisin feat. Jennifer Lopez & Ricky Martin )
1-800-868-3406

ETA: Oops. Forgot the team dances. Both are “freestyle” – that is, not one set dance (according to our source).

Team Loca: Music: “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin
Meryl/Maks
Amy/Derek
Danica/Val
Candace/Mark

Team Vida: Music: “Cup of Life” by Ricky Martin
Charlie/Sharna
James/Peta
NeNe/Tony