Ok, I realize I promised this yesterday – but alas, the laundry, dishes, & pets needing baths were screaming at me to take care of them, so this got bumped to today…but it is here, prior to the actual announcement of the cast!

Got some great feedback from part 1 – it was nice to see that you guys have noticed similar patterns with previous casts, and even filled me in on some potential contestants that I hadn’t yet heard of! Good stuff…keep it coming!

Alright, onto the other 6 types…

The Teen Idol

Previous examples: Joey McIntyre, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Lance Bass, Mel B., Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Cody Linley, Sabrina Bryan, Mario Lopez

Advantages: If sales of Tiger Beat are any indicator, the teenyboppers will come out in full force to support their favorite heartthrobs/idols.  Being young & good-lookin’ sure doesn’t hurt! Many also have the added advantage of having a decent dance background, especially if they were part of a musical act.

Disadvantages: Youth can also have its disadvantages – as in immaturity.  What some might call “youthful exuberance”, others might call “brattiness” or “attention deficit disorder” – poor Cody Linley had a hard time sitting still! Emotion immaturity (a la Aaron Carter’s post-rumba meltdown in the confessional) can be especially off-putting. 

Possible candidates this season: The recent development of Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls being a possible participant doesn’t seem too far-fetched.  Candace Cameron-Bure (aka D.J. from Full House) has also hinted that she might be a future contestant.

The Host

Previous examples: Jerry Springer, Brooke Burke, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Lopez, Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rinna, Tucker Carlson, Mark Dacascos, Rocco DiSpirito

Advantages: Being that they’ve been at the helm of their own shows, these guys usually have the media savvy & charisma to appeal to the masses, as well as the previous exposure & recognizability.  Most (not all!) are also decently attractive, which never seems to hurt (unless, of course, you’re a model – see previous post for explanation).

Disadvantages: Many hosts are only used to hosting – as in just sitting down & talking (or dodging the occasional punch, if you’re Springer), so the lack of “movement experience” problem seems to come into play. 

Possible candidates this season: None yet, but a strange part of me would love to see lovable southerner Paula Deen from the Food Network…what’s not to like? She’s like a kinder, gentler, G-rated version of Cloris: she cooks, she eats, she talks in a syrupy southern accent!

The Actor

Previous examples: John O’Hurley, Melissa Joan Hart, Steve Guttenburg, John Ratzenberger, Debi Mazar, Denise Richards, Ted McGinley, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennie Garth, Vivica Fox, Marissa Jaret Winokur

Advantages: Being that their bread & butter is acting, most can usually nail the emotions of the dances. Bonus points if they’ve done Broadway (like Winokur) because they have likely had to dance.

Disadvantages: For lack of a better term, many of them seem to be “has-beens” – actors that haven’t been particularly active in the mainstream in the past several years – or were never that big to begin with (can anyone else think of anything John O’Hurley has been in BESIDES Seinfeld?), making it harder for them to garner votes from a public who may not remember them. 

Possible candidates this season: Can’t think of anyone better to embody “has-been” than Shannon Doherty – kicked off both 90210 & Charmed, I can’t think of anything big she’s been involved with in the past 5 years, making her pretty free to do DWTS.

The Reality Star

Previous examples: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Rycroft, Steve-O, Holly Madison, Trista Sutter, Shanna Moakler

Advantages: Many have achieved pop culture icon status on their respective reality outlets, making them fairly recognizable. Some cast-offs (think Melissa Rycroft) have also found sympathy in the hearts of the viewers.

Disadvantages: They may be memorable for the wrong reasons – people tended to remember things like Kim Kardashian’s sex tape more than her reality show, and people seemed more focused on Holly Madison’s split from Hef than her antics on The Girls Next Door.  Many can also come across as attention-hungry & talentless – reality tv is often looked down upon as a way to get famous without having any talent whatsoever. 

Possible candidates this season: It pains me to even type the name Kate Gosselin.  At least for me, she embodies the worst qualities of reality tv – the scandal, the misplaced priorities, the shameless self-promotion, the greed…I could go on & on. Sig Hansen from Deadliest Catch? Now that, on the other hand, would be absolutely hilarious.

The Singer

Previous examples: Mya, Billy Ray Cyrus, Mario, Belinda Carlisle, Master P, Chuck Wicks, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Toni Braxton, Macy Gray

Advantages: As with the teen idols, many have had dance experience concurrent with their music careers. 

Disadvantages: Most seem to be committed solely to one genre of music (often R&B or country), making it hard to appeal to a wide fanbase.

Possible candidates this season: Can I be optimistic once more and through Paula Abdul out there for consideration? J Just let me dream, people…

The Wild Card

Previous examples: Heather Mills, Tom DeLay, Mark Cuban, Steve Wozniak, Priscilla Presley

Advantages: The sheer novelty of having someone with such an off-the-beaten-path claim to fame (famous divorcee/widow, entrepreneur, disgraced politician, etc.) may be enough to have the public voting them – just to see what happens.  Being the “underdog” is a powerful thing!

Disadvantages: Due to their often dubious fame, people just may not have any clue who they are – I personally had to Google Mark Cuban’s name.

Possible candidates this season: This is a complete reach, but I would totally stand behind Captain Chesley Sullenberger (the pilot who landed the plane on the Hudson?) competing on the show because it would be a fantastic human interest story. Plus, it’s delightfully random, so it could work.

Ok, we’re mere hours away from the announcement of the new cast.  Anyone else you think might be able to round out the cast, based on the “usual suspects”?

Each season, as the announcement of the next cast draws nearer, our imaginations run wild with thoughts (and dreams!) of who this season’s celebs might be.  While the possibilities are truly endless, we can still hypothesize based on the casting of previous seasons – we know there will be at least one athlete, an actor/actress of some sort, perhaps a model, maybe a singer or two.  The producers really do seem to aim for a mixed bag of celebs each season, to make it interesting – but how do they measure up? I have broken it down into the 12 major recurring “usual suspects” that comprise the cast – let’s examine previous examples, possible advantages/disadvantages, and possible candidates for each.  The first six, for your consideration & discussion:

 The Olympian

Previous examples: Kristi Yamaguchi, Shawn Johnson, Apolo Ohno, Natalie Coughlin, Misty May-Treanor, Maurice Greene, Louie Vito

Advantages: The winningest of the 12 types, their obvious advantage is their athleticism – you won’t see these guys struggling with strength or endurance moves.  In addition, the same tireless work ethic that helped them medal in the Olympics will likely carry them through the toils of the competition.

Disadvantages: For those specializing in sports that are less “artistic” (i.e. swimming, running, volleyball), it might be a bit hard to really get into the character of the dance and truly perform to the crowd.  Previously incurred injuries (or the fear of incurring an injury that might hinder their participation in subsequent competitions in their sport, a la Misty May-Treanor) may also slow them down & limit their mobility.

Possible candidates this season: I’ve heard the names of several male figure skaters thrown around – namely Johnny Weir & Evan Lysacek – but I find it hard to believe they’d be able to throw themselves headlong into dancing after the grueling pressures of the winter games.  Other names whispered: Michael Phelps (seems like a possibility), & Greg Louganis (has expressed interest in doing the show). 

The Athlete

Previous examples: Chuck Liddell, Warren Sapp, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Helio Castroneves, Laila Ali, Floyd Mayweather, Ty Murray, Evander Holyfield, Jerry Rice, Clyde Drexler, Monica Seles, Jason Taylor, Lawrence Taylor

Advantages: As with the Olympians, their athleticism & work ethic make them well-suited to the competition.  An edge they might have over their Olympic counterparts: sports like football, auto racing, & mixed martial arts tend to have a larger, more mainstream following than some of the Olympic sports.

Disadvantages: Again, a lack of “artistic” experience & previous injury (especially with the football players, who have really taken a beating over the years). Some of the more muscular athletes in hard-hitting sports may also have difficulty with the refined, precise moves of some of the dances.

Possible candidates this season: Rumor has it that San Diego Chargers player Kassim Osgood may already be partnered with Cheryl Burke this season, and fans of notorious NFL showboater Chad Ochocinco of the Cincinnati Bengals have been tweeting up a storm about his possible participation.

The Model/Playmate/Beauty Queen

Previous examples: Kelly Monaco, Rachel Hunter, Tia Carrere, Shanna Moakler, Paulina Porizkova, Shandi Finnessey, Josie Maran, Albert Reed, Shannon Elizabeth, Brooke Burke, Holly Madison, Kathy Ireland, Joanna Krupa

Advantages: All the costumes seem to look fantastic on them (and they can get away with wearing the really skimpy ones) and so do their pro partners – easy to imagine a “showmance”, which always seems to grab votes.  Also seems to have cornered the votes of the small population of male viewers, for obvious reasons

Disadvantages: Despite making a career out of looking great posing & strutting down the runway, many of them have proven to be rather awkward movers outside of that context, and some seem to have a hard time carrying around their taller than average stature.  They also run the risk of “pretty girl backlash” – the female viewers may turn on them due to jealousy or perceived arrogance, or just never vote for them in the first place, instead giving their votes to the attractive male participants.

Possible candidates this season: Pam Anderson, whose name has been coming up more & more often as the announcement of the cast draws closer.

The Legend

Previous examples: Cloris Leachman, Wayne Newton, Donny Osmond, Tatum O’Neal, Marie Osmond, Jane Seymour, Marlee Matlin, Susan Lucci

Advantages: These individuals are extremely well-known & respected in the entertainment business, with many years of experience (and fans) under their belts, as well as an award or two. Also masters of the stage & screen – perhaps the best at emulating the emotions of the dances.

Disadvantages: With many years of experience comes an older age than many of their competitors – which comes with an increased risk of injury & fatigue that could limit the difficulty of their routines.

Possible candidates this season: Highly doubtful, due to her extensive dance background, but Paula Abdul has been a name that has popped up season after season (often from Paula herself) as a possible participant.

The Soap Star

Previous examples: Kelly Monaco, Cameron Mathison, Lisa Rinna, Susan Lucci

Advantages: The demographic of soap opera viewers overlaps heavily with the demographic of viewers of DWTS, and most soap opera viewers have been watching those shows for years (I started watching General Hospital when I was 6!), so they often have a fierce loyalty to their favorite characters (and the actors/actresses who portray them).

Disadvantages: This group likely has the most grueling schedule to contend with, as most soaps tape year-round, and many of them are taped in New York, forcing the stars (and sometimes their partners) to fly coast-to-coast several times a week to practice.  Many also have absolutely no background in any kind of sport, making them a real “project” for the pros to take on.

Possible candidates this season: None that I’ve heard of, but I’d love to see General Hospital veteran Maurice Benard or long-time Days of Our Lives actress Deidre Hall coming down those glittery stairs.

The Comedian

Previous examples: Penn Jillette, Jeff Ross, Adam Carolla, David Allen Grier, Ashley Hamilton (though this is debatable)

Advantages: Let’s face it, they’re fun to watch, and they definitely inject some much- needed hilarity into the show. 

Disadvantages: They often come across like they don’t take the competition seriously, instead favoring their usual schtick over actual dancing. Some of their on-show humor (Jeff Ross’ in particular) can also be rather polarzing – hilarious to some, offensive to others. And again – often no background in any sort of sport, let alone dancing.

Possible candidates this season: Again, no murmurings yet – but several but several of us here at Pure DWTS have a soft spot for Jimmy Fallon (wishful thinking, we know J ) I personally wouldn’t mind seeing a female comedian on the show – Kathy Griffin could be fun (if she wasn’t so wrapped up in the cesspool of a show that is The Insider), and if Monique doesn’t have anything on her plate in the next few months (again, wishful thinking), she could be another interesting contestant.

What do you guys think? Anyone you’re just dying to see on the show that fit into these groups?  Tune in tomorrow when I analyze  the Teen Idol, Singer, Reality Star, Actor, Host, & Wildcard groups…how will they measure up?

Oh my wow! Where has this season gone??? I feel like it was just last week that I was trying to rank all 16 couples and it took me bloody forever – and then there were 3.  Gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised by both Donny & Kelly tonight, and felt a little let down by Mya (or rather, Dmitry’s choreography).  However, the tentative rankings I had in my head after last week have remained intact, and now, without further ado, I give you – the FINAL RANKING!!!

Finishing in 3rd place: Kelly & Louis – I will finally come clean: Kelly & Louis were my favorite couple this season (and pretty much the only one I wasn’t accused of either hating on or favoring unfairly), and what a joy it has been to see Kelly blossom from the nervous & unsure girl in week 1 to the fun-loving & confident gal that danced tonight! Kelly was pure joy to watch in her freestyle – who cares if she fouled up more than once? I couldn’t help but smile watching she & Louis groove – those two are just perfect together. And boy did it show in their tango! I honestly felt more chemistry between Kelly & Louis during their tango than I did all season from Mya & Dmitry…and let’s just say Louis isn’t really into chicks (trying to keep it PG here, folks ).  Kelly’s footwork was crisp & sexy, and there was nary a misstep in sight.  The megamix: oy.  I’m sorry, I absolutely hated the idea…much preferred the mambo marathon & the relay to this.  Honestly, pretty much everyone looked chaotic & out of sync to me, and unfortunately Kelly & Louis stuck out the most.  While the fact that Kelly made it to the finals speaks volumes about her fanbase, she has been in the bottom 2 more than once, and she just doesn’t have the judges scores to boost her potential to win.  But at the risk of sounding totally cheesy – I feel like Kelly is already a winner for all the progress she has made this season.  Best of luck to her after the show ends…I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of her

Runner-up: Mya & Dmitry – I’ve said it ad infinitum, but I’ll say it once more for good measure: the best dancer doesn’t always win.  And in this case of Mya & Dmitry, I would be prepared for Gilles Marini redux – I just don’t see them pulling out a win over Donny & Kym.  Her dances tonight only solidified for me that she & Dmitry have about as much chemistry as peanut butter & pickles – they just don’t go together well at all.  Paso – can we say “overscored”? They definitely got off-time, and I feel like Dmitry was powering her through every move.  Mya’s face looked absolutely blank to me – she does great with sexy dances, but with aggressive ones like the paso, I think she’s a bit of a fish out of water & doesn’t quite know what to do with her face.  It also felt a bit repetitive, which seems to be a trend in Dmitry’s choreography – and now we move onto the freestyle.  I hated it.  I felt like it did nothing to showcase Mya’s talents, was low energy, too simple (C’mon, Dmitry…Kelly’s choreography was harder than that!), and cliched – I feel like the ’50s/’60s themed dances on the show have really been overdone.  I have to wonder if their freestyle would have been more exciting had they gone with Mya’s idea instead – after all, when she helped Dmitry with their ’70s samba, it was actually fun to watch, and they got their first perfect 30.  Now here’s the conspiracy: I feel like the judges are gunning hard for Mya to win…to the point that they’re deliberately overscoring her.  To what end? I’m not sure – maybe trying to shift the focus of the show back to good dancing rather than popularity.  So Mya may have the highest point total after tonight, but it’s only 2 points more than Donny…and in the battle of the fanbases (though it will probably be a close call, just like last season!), I think Donny will edge Mya out.  Mya really needed to make an impression tonight to really contend for the trophy, and I feel like she fell short (due mostly to ho-hum choreography). I just don’t see her really sticking out in voters’ minds as much as Donny & Kelly do.  But what a great run! Seriously, Mya could be the best technician I’ve seen on the show – EVER.  It’s a shame she just couldn’t seem to hone her showmanship skills to really knock it out of the park. 

The Winner: Donny & Kym – Donny has actually been a pleasant surprise for me this season, overall – I guess I was bracing for another Marie (ai ai ai).  But when he wasn’t talking out of turn while getting his scores or perpetuating his fauxmance with Bruno, he was actually very fun to watch.  I will give it to him – none of the other competitors this season could measure up to Donny in terms of showmanship.  Almost every week (with the exception of maybe the quickstep & last week’s tango) he brought his energy full-tilt, and never stopped playing to the crowd. He really impressed me in his cha-cha – his foot & hip action were better than any of the other guys I’ve seen this season. Plus it was just a fun, fluffy, energetic routine (even if it was less cha-cha and more open work).  And he had by far the best freestyle – Kym made a smart choice in chosing a Broadway theme again, as that is really Donny’s venue – it was high-energy, explosive, and engaging.  I wish I had more to say about Donny tonight, but he was overall quite good – not much to critique.  He has definitely secured the win in my mind, due not only to his large fanbase, but also his good scores and his peerless performance quality – I may have ragged on Donny in earlier rankings, but his routines were always ones I remembered, for better or worse.  And I will be thrilled if Kym finally gets the trophy after two seasons of being the “almost” girl! Kudos to both of them…

…and with that, I close my final power ranking for this season.  It’s been fun hearing what you guys think week after week, and bouncing thoughts off one another.  Hope you guys will stick with us in the off-season – rest assured this will not be my last post until next March! I still have plenty to chat about and hope you have thoughts and opinions about it   Now speaking of opinions…let’s hear yours! Will Mya manage to pull out the win over Donny? Will Kelly surprise us all and take the trophy home herself??? Will Cloris get naked tomorrow night (oh dear!)? TALK TO ME!

Bear with me, kids: I have been having major issues with both my cable & internet since about 7 pm tonight and have consequently missed decent-sized chunks of the show, either due to the DVR freezing up or being on the phone to the AT&T folks…so I almost don’t feel justified in ranking this week due to the fact that I didn’t see many of the routines in their entirety.  So I’m going to rank based on what I saw, and as always, you guys are free to agree/disagree and also to fill  me in on what I missed, hehe.  Gosh I love when technology malfunctions…and Mercury isn’t even in retrograde right now!!!

1.) Mya & Dmitry - Admittedly, I missed probably 2/3 of their waltz, and didn’t catch the lead-in to their salsa and consequently thought it was another samba (due to the very samba-y music…definitely thought it was strange that they were doing the same dance 2 weeks in a row, lol)…but from what I did see tonight, Mya FINALLY became a real contender for me – even if it was because everyone else just felt a bit ho-hum for me this week.  Her solo in the salsa felt the most confident and well-executed to me of all the solos tonight, and she seemed almost infallible in both her salsa & cha-cha…and for the first time in this competition, I actually felt the heat from Dmitry at the end of their salsa (homeboy actually looked like he wanted to kiss her, for once!).  Their cha-cha also felt like it was the flashiest & most memorable of the knockout routines tonight.  Granted, I will freely admit I did not catch the whole show, but these two slightly edged out Joanna & Derek for me this week in terms of energy & creativity, and their near-perfect scores (and lavish praise from the judges, save Carrie Ann) will likely carry them through to the final, as well as what appears to be a growing fan base.

2.) Joanna & Derek – Missed all but about the first 10 seconds of their cha-cha, and missed the middle section of their Viennese waltz.  What I saw of the waltz was lovely, and their salsa was fun & energetic…but I must confess it felt a bit too recycled for me. Maybe I’m just getting bored with the signature Derek “I’m gonna drop her neck down to waist level and bob it up and down a few times while I step over it” move – I think I liked it better in the mambo marathon when it was slightly dirtier, hehe.  Again, I reiterate: I only saw the first 10-15 seconds of their cha-cha, but from what I saw, Joanna seemed a bit stiff, which is strange because she has seemed increasingly more fluid to me as the competition wore on…I think she & Derek may have gotten a bit burnt out this week and their performance quality may have suffered a bit as a result.  Nonetheless, I think they are a definite fan favorite and sincerely doubt their are in any danger of not making the finals…but I’m sure Heidi & company are working as we speak to lower that risk

3.) Donny & Kym – Ok, oddly enough, this was the only couple tonight that I didn’t miss any of their actual performances (I did miss a bit of their lead-in package, though) – and I’m sorry to say they were probably the most disappointing to me tonight.  Poor Donny just couldn’t seem to get his head in the game with that tango – missteps all over the place, and rather than projecting the serious, intense feel of the tango, it just seemed like his was just trying to keep count in his head.  The wardrobe malfunction with Kym’s skirt didn’t seem to help matters much either, as she even looked a bit off-balance to me.  Their samba was a bit better, but as cute as the song choice was, it was honestly a bit off-putting to me – the choreography seemed a bit too sexy for such an happy, innocent song, and Donny was making some ridiculous facial expressions that left it a bit hard for me to take him seriously, hehe.  The most memorable part of their jitterbug was the costumes – but beyond that, I am left trying to remember anything really good that stuck out in my head about their routines.  But as I’ve said week after week, Donny’s fanbase is unrivaled, and he’s likely a shoo-in for the finale…

4.) Kelly & Louis – I think we all may have had Kelly pegged to go home this week already, but wow – way to go out with a bang.  What I saw of her this week was the most confident & on-point I’ve seen her all season – aside from the really awkward solo (probably the weakest of the night) in her rumba, I actually thought it was pretty good, and she looked beautiful in her pale pink dress & understated (for ballroom!) makeup.  Missed the back half of her quickstep – but it looks as though she started off decently enough, and then began to get off-time an off-step towards the middle, but thought it was a fun & memorable song choice.  Her cha-cha knock-out was probably her strongest dance for me tonight – she really managed to finally move, and smile, and the theme was cute and memorable.  And again – she & Louis are just sunshine and rainbows together.  I’m honestly going to be sad to see them go, but after being in the bottom 2 last week and being up against the likes of Mya, Joanna, & Donny, I just don’t think she has the steam to plow through to the final…goodbye & godspeed, Kelly!

We’re getting down to the wire, folks…only one more ranking to go for this season, in which I will have to predict who will waltz off with the mirrorball in the finale! Who do you think will make it through to next week’s finale, and grace (or disgrace) us with their freestyle??? Let’s hear it! Hopefully I will get my internet to hold out long enough for me to post this (fingers crossed), and hopefully I didn’t miss so much of the show tonight that it totally throws off my rankings…feel free to fill me in, guys! I’m off to yell at the tech support guys again…toodaloo!

Oy! Ok, for the first time since I started doing these rankings, I have very few notes written in my handy dandy notebook – because I was actually transfixed for most of tonight’s show! This may have been the most entertained I’ve been all season – tonight was delightfully wacky, yet also refined (anyone catch the Hooters reference? ) – I found myself enjoying both the ballroom & Latin rounds.  Although I must point out that there was some definite music ditto-ing tonight – “You Spin Me Right Round” & ”Valerie” have both definitely been used in past seasons for a paso & a quickstep, respectively.  Could the “fabulous” Harold Wheeler be running out of stuff to play? Hmmmm…

1.) Donny & Kym – I can’t believe I am about to say what I’m about to say: I actually enjoyed both of Donny’s routines tonight (though definitely not for the same reasons lol!).  I must have a soft spot for well-executed, sincere waltzes/Viennese waltzes – because just as Michael Irvin won me over with his charming waltz 2 weeks ago, Donny won me over with his this week.  Very understated, calm, clean, and pretty.  Actually quite lovely to watch, especially since Donny wasn’t trying to yuk it up like he has in the past – if the Donny skeptics are anything like me, they may warm up to him after that number.  His paso had me rolling – it was really a hot mess, with the ridiculous costuming (anyone else think Donny’s pants a little more Napoleon Dynamite than Adam Ant?) and the tacky smoke machine/wind machine/cape interlude in the middle…I LOVED EVERY GAUDY SECOND OF IT.  This will not be a routine that is easily forgotten (even if some might want to…), and Donny & Kym had the definite boon of performing in the Money Spot (TM).  Who cares if they are tied for the lowest score??? They’ve got the fanbase and shock factor working in their favor…

2.) Derek & Joanna – These two would have likely overtaken Donny & Kym for the top spot on my rankings this week, if it weren’t for that chaotic, messy quickstep in the ballroom round.  Ai ai ai…it actually pained me to watch it, because I know that they can (and have) done much better.  The two of them were bobbing around out of sync like a whack-a-mole game at Chuck E Cheese.  Anymore, the quickstep seems to be becoming the “kiss of death” on DWTS, just like it has on SYTYCD…very hard to really “nail”.  But man – Joanna & Derek more than made up for it with the artistry, creativity, and execution of their futuristic paso.  Honestly, I think any other couple that drew “futuristic” as their decade would have crashed & burned – Derek is honestly on the cutting edge with his choreography & I would not be surprised if this robot paso garnered him an Emmy nomination for best choreography next year.  And Joanna was flawless on this one (dunno why Carrie Ann was yammering on about a “misstep”) – I was surprised she was able to nail the robotic, emotionless feel of the dance after being so emotionally invested in previous weeks.  That paso (and Heidi & her posse & their tireless campaign for votes for team DJ!) probably saved them this week, although I think they’re really starting to show they’re contenders for the trophy this season…

3.) Mya & Dmitry – What does it say when a couple gets the first perfect score of the season and I still have a hard time seeing them win the whole competition? Accusations of Derek favoritism aside (ahem), I still am feeling very little connection between these two, although I still stand by my claim that it is more Dmitry’s fault than Mya’s.  Empirical evidence: those who DVRed tonight’s show, I challenge you to rewatch their quickstep & count how many times they make eye contact with one another, and for how long, and with how much intensity.  They barely looked at each other – each step, while flawlessly executed, was aimed at connecting with the audience rather than each other.  Ditto to their samba (which I actually really enjoyed!) – it was as if they could have danced the entire routine alone and we wouldn’t have noticed that they were missing a partner (although the samba rolls were pure butter to watch ) Add to that the trouble of performing in the Crap Spot (TM), and all I’m left really remembering well is that Dmitry kinda reminds me of Paul Rudd’s character in Anchorman with his ’70s ’stache.  The perfect score likely saved them from the danger zone, but I’m not sure they will be so lucky next week…

4.) Kelly & Louis – Kelly is the weakest dancer left in the competition, I will admit that – but she’s definitely improving, and she and Louis are still totally adorable.  Great to see sassy, confident Kelly in her foxtrot – she may not have had the greatest feet or arms or frame, but she was fun to watch and seemed to really nail the slinkiness of the foxtrot & looked fantastic doing it.  The jive was a little odd for me – loved seeing her in her element (the ’60s really seem to be her era), but the two of them seemed a bit more wrapped up in doing more ’60s moves than actual jive (and the jive they did was pretty mediocre), and they held onto the prop for a bit too long – and I HATE PROPS.  But oddly enough, they weren’t at the bottom of the scoreboard this week, and I cannot bring myself to hate them (just like I actually kinda missed walking Hallmark card Michael this week *sniff*).  They will likely be in the bottom 2, but I don’t see them getting sent home over Aaron…

5.) Aaron & Karina – Talk about TMI.  I didn’t really need to know that Aaron almost tossed his cookies on national television, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t mentioned it.  But honestly – that was probably just extra dirt on the coffin for Aaron.  These two have been skating on thin ice for weeks now, and I think they only slipped by last week based on Aaron’s jive prowess (if the knockout dance were a popularity contest, Mark would still be around instead of him).  His foxtrot felt a little too bouncy to me – as much as it pains me to say it, I agree with Carrie Ann that he does get a bit too “exuberant” and it throws off his technique.  Their samba was actually kinda cute (loved the song – I remember groovin’ to Spin Doctors in 4th grade!), but was a bit sloppy at times and isn’t nearly as memorable as any of the other Latin routines for me tonight.  They’re the only couple left that’s ever been in danger (and they’ve been in danger MULTIPLE times) and they’re also at the bottom of the scoreboard – oh, and if Twitter is any indicator, the only man in America that may be more hated than Aaron right now is Jon Gosselin.  If I were the gambling type, I’d put a decent bet down on Aaron going home tomorrow night, and then take my honey out to Outback with my winnings.

So this has probably been the easiest ranking I’ve done so far – probably because I’m darn near certain that Aaron’s number is up this week.  And if it isn’t – well, pigs must be flying on a snowy day in hell.  But feel free to argue with me…I will try and be more present in the comments section this week, since I have Wednesday off work.  Yay for floating holidays!!! Sound off, everyone…

At long last…a week where I actually get excited about a routine (or maybe even two! ) After the doldrums of the past few weeks, I was beginning to think I had come down with H1N1 and was just grumpy about the whole show…but I have to say, I was actually blown outta the water by one couple in particular this week…and it may not be who you think it is

As much as I’ve hated some of the new “twists” of the past few seasons (the “dance off”, the addition of a bunch of new dances every season, the relay dances, etc.), I actually do really enjoy the team dances – although I am getting a bit tired of the team paso (but thank goodness they didn’t try to revive the team mambo…I don’t want to re-live the ones from the past two seasons, yikes!).  While team tango was clearly superior to team paso (Joanna & Derek in particular stood out for me), both this season’s routines didn’t seem as hard-hitting and memorable of those in past seasons…and team paso in particular just seemed to be going through the motions.  Blah. But onto the rankings! Gotta say, it’s getting more and more fun to write them as the season wears on and the power players shuffle around

1.) Joanna & Derek – Now I realize that I may have been accused in the past of being overly “partial” to Derek.  However, I think Heidi can vouch for the fact that I haven’t always been a fan of these tw0 (I’m still scratching my head over the whole Tarzan entrance, haha) and have had almost the same amount of criticism for them as I’ve had praise for them.  But I feel as though I have to point out that these two manage to remain memorable week after week, even if their dancing wasn’t necessarily the highest-scored.  Their rumba was steamy, and I expected it to be, given Derek’s track record; and Derek made a wise move in playing up his goofy side during the little “fantasy” lead-in – it’s endearing to viewers and I think they’ll definitely remember it when voting.  Joanna continues to impress me with her technique, but I did see a few wonky arms and also the little stutter from getting her heel caught in her dress.  And I will again reference the special powers of the Money Spot (TM). These two were the stand-out couple for me in the team tango (those high-speed pivots towards the end of their solo portion were fantastic!) and are at the top of the leaderboard points-wise.  No danger here…

2.) Aaron & Karina – Oh, what a difference a week makes! These two were my favorite couple of the night…that jive was FLAWLESS (I dunno what Carrie Ann was smoking, giving them a 9!).  I would even go so far as to say it was one of the best-executed jives I’ve ever seen on the show…Aaron’s flicks were razor sharp & perfectly synched to Karina’s, and perhaps most importantly of all, HE DIDN’T TIRE.  The energy level stayed up from beginning to end, which is more than I can say about a lot of the jives we’ve seen. I think Aaron is beginning to give Mya a run for her money for the title of Best Technician on the show – and he also seems to tackle the hardest choreography of any of the celebs.  And I have to say, he does seem to be reigning in his over-the-top behavior quite a bit – he’s beginning to become a lot more likeable to me again.  While I was underwhelmed by the team paso, Aaron & Karina were most memorable to me, and seemed to best embody the sharp, aggressive feel of the dance.  I daresay Aaron might have redeemed himself tonight with that jive – and he did manage to avoid the danger zone last week, so I don’t see him suddenly dropping into it this week.  Kudos to him for the vast improvement!

3.) Donny & Kym – Ok, their quickstep this week was a bit of an improvement from last week’s jitterbug, and it did seem like Kym upped the ante with some more difficult choreography – but I still can’t seem to shake the feeling that Donny just looks EXHAUSTED.  And I would be too, if his schedule is as crazy as everyone says it is! But the trick is to hide it well, and I’m not sure he is – he seemed to drop his posture quite a bit, and did lose the rhythm at a few points (although I did agree with Bruno that he seemed to hide it well – whenever he flubbed, I did find myself questioning what I saw, like “Did he just mess up, or am I just seeing things?”).  I also go back to my “Donny likes characters” theory, and thought he may have struggled this week without a real theme or character to play in the dance – he was just left with the steps and his stage presence.  His solo bit in the team tango felt a bit recycled to me (from his Argentine a few weeks back), but then again, Kelly’s did too, and at least he danced it well.  But he has the fanbase, so he will be fine…but I’m sorry, Kym’s dress???! Ghastly.  Please Donny, stick to singing and dancing – because ladies’ fashion is not your calling.

4.) Mya & Dmitry – I really feel like a broken record saying this week after week, but here it is again for good measure: brilliant technique, zero heat.  I almost feel like both of them are more focused on playing to the audience than they are each other – Dmitry in particular.  Cloris, you are such a wise old (crazy) soul, pointing out this obvious lack of heat! This was some great choreography, with such a fluid execution, and it would have been light years better if I didn’t feel like they were still so disconnected after dancing together for all these weeks – the silhouetted kiss at the end just felt contrived.  But I will say that I loved the costuming – probably the best of the night: they both looked like they foxtrotted right out of a ballroom in pre-Castro Cuba.  For anyone that saw Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - Mya’s dress tonight felt like a throwback to her cameo in it as Lola Martinez (check it out – it’s the big mambo competition scene towards the end).  While I was once again underwhelmed by their frigid chemistry, they did dance their foxtrot well, and they were scored decently well for it.  No comment on the team paso; honestly, most of it was a non-event for me…

5.) Kelly & Louis – This week could easily be titled “How Kelly Got Her Groove Back” – her salsa this week was the most relaxed and free I’ve seen her since week 1.  It was almost as if she had to have a complete meltdown (see lead-in) before she could shake her jitters and just have fun out on the floor…and fun she did have! She shimmied, she smiled…she conquered.  And I gotta give her props for putting Louis in the famous fringe pants that we’ve only seen the girls wear up until this point – the man looked like Cookie Monster out there, and I loved every minute of it! I guess it’s just a testament to she & Louis’ great chemistry that they can get in a “fight” and still look like they love each other to bits while they’re yelling at one another.  Kelly shined in the group tango – so her choregraphy wasn’t really complicated and felt a bit redundant, but she didn’t flub (a lot) and she actually had some really dramatic head snaps.  She definitely reclaimed the America’s Sweetheart title tonight, but let’s be honest: her dancing is nowhere near that of Mya, Donny, or Joanna, and we’re getting down to the wire now – she may live through this week based on her winning personality, but I’m afraid the clock is ticking…

6.) Michael & Anna D. - I’m finally beginning to understand why this guy has managed to stretch far beyond what should have been his lifespan on the show – he has a heart of gold.  Seriously – I cannot hate the guy, no matter how much he may butcher a bolero or flub his way through a cha-cha.  The pep talk during team paso rehearsal? The sweet explanation of he & Anna’s purple costumes? Heck, the guy was even big-hearted enough to hug it out with Aaron during his post-rumba meltdown!  The man is like a walking Hallmark card.  And add to that the fact that he actually is improving – he could surprise us all and be this season’s Ty Murray and live through another week! Like last week’s waltz (which I bit sheepishly admit that I haven’t had the heart to delete off my DVR ), his foxtrot wasn’t necessarily the hardest choreography, but he moved through it gracefully, without any missteps and without getting off-time – the man is light years better at the smooth dances than the Latin ones. And he’s charming when he dances.  But we have to take into account that he was in the danger zone last week, and I don’t know that his fanbase will be able to contend with that of Donny’s or even Mya’s…and then there’s the curse of the dreaded Crap Spot (TM). The play clock may have run down for our lovable wide receiver…

7.) Mark & Anna T. – Poor Mark just couldn’t seem to catch a break this week – his regular partner gets sick, he gets a short tutorial from Tony in New York before jetting back to the west coast, and then is thrown headlong into rehearsals with Anna (<3 her!) with only 2 days to learn both his own samba and the group paso.  The deck was stacked against him from the get-go, I’m afraid.  But I am going to disagree with Bruno & Carrie Ann – I actually got a kick out of his samba.  His samba rolls were actually pretty darn good, and he did have great energy throughout the whole thing.  He wasn’t THAT bad.  But I don’t even remember him in the group paso, and I think America may forget about him amidst very striking routines and high scores from Joanna & Derek and Aaron & Karina, and the fanbases of Donny, Mya, and even Michael.  Sorry Lacey…I don’t think you’ll be able to make that triumphant return next week like you were hoping to

Alright, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m pretty ADD, so I can’t remember if they said tomorrow was another double elimnation or not – so if it is, I’m gonna say it’s Mark & Anna T. and Michael & Anna D. headed home; if it’s only a single, it’s gonna be Mark. What do you guys think?

Surprisingly enough, another week goes by where I only feel “meh” about most of the routines.  Granted, I was a bit distracted (bf is in Orlando for NDC competition & he was texting me), but I did re-watch a few of the routines to see if I missed something – nope.  It seemed like the couples that danced well had no chemistry; the couples that had great chemistry seemed to really struggle with the dancing portion.  Definitely made it hard to rank this week…

…oh, and one more thing before I move on: the jitterbug bugs the crap outta me (no pun intended).  Or rather, I hate the fact that it looks so similar to both the jive and the Charleston that I feel like I’m watching the same routines over and over.  *sigh* I guess Len’s crankiness has worn off on me and now he’s all sunshine & rainbows…

1.) Joanna & Derek - I actually didn’t care much for their waltz – everything seemed like it was just a bit “off” and wasn’t as fluid as some of their other dances, and I feel like the float on Joanna’s sleeve was getting in the way of everything.  But I will say this: even when they weren’t looking at each other, I still felt a connection between them, which is something that is so often lost in the smooth/standard dances when the couples are looking away from one another most of the time.  And with chemistry playing such a crucial factor this season, I daresay it doesn’t hurt them to look lovey-dovey & be touchy-feely. Loved them in the mambo competition – Derek’s choreography was eye-catching & fun to watch, as always, and Joanna actually kept up with it well.  Thanks to that great choreo & scores (and some heavy-duty Twitter bombing by Heidi to make sure Derek’s fans pulled him through his illness! ) these two seem to come up at the top of the heap this week, and I highly doubt they’re in any danger of going home.

2.) Donny & Kym – At the request of some of Donny’s fans after my hatchet job last week, I will try to critique him as fairly as I can.  Truth be told, I wasn’t wowed by their jitterbug – Donny didn’t seem quite as crisp as he has been in previous weeks, and again I didn’t find their choreography to be as difficult as some of the other couples’.  I know someone had mentioned Donny’s busy schedule in a previous post – I fear that it may have caught up with him this week as he seemed to almost run out of steam (again, no pun intended) by the end of it.  But they did have the advantage of performing in the Money Spot (henceforth, I shall capitalize it…I would prolly slap a trademark symbol on it too, but I don’t know how to do that. LOL) and they placed 4th in the mambo competition. Wish I could say that I actually saw he & Kym dancing the mambo, but alas, I’m ADD and was having a hard time focusing (too many couples for my brain to comprehend! Aaaaaaggghhhh!) and all I saw was Donny doing some sort of shimmy over a supine Derek as he left the stage.  *shrug* Again, Donny’s fans will carry him all the way to the finals…

3.) Mya & Dmitry – Not gonna lie – I feel a bit vindicated that the judges are also pointing out Mya & Dmitry’s lack of chemistry, as some were arguing last week that they had “great chemistry”.  Don’t get me wrong – Mya is probably the best dancer on the show in terms of technique; but she’s just too cool for school! For anyone else who is a big fan of Top Gun, Mya is “Iceman” for me this season – makes no mistakes, but flies with no emotion.  Aside from their chemistry problem, I also was kinda disappointed by their jitterbug this week – took too long to get going, and generally hate any routine involving a prop.  They also pulled the short straw this week and had to perform in the Crap Spot (just pretend the trademark is there ).  But luckily, they placed 2nd in the mambo competition, which will go a long way in boosting their score.  And if Mya’s support on this blog is any indicator, her fans will keep her safe for many weeks to come…

4.) Mark & Lacey – Hallelujah! Mark is finally starting to come out of his shell and really wow me.  The past 3 weeks he’s gotten stronger & stronger (after hitting rock bottom with that awful rumba) and tonight was really quite entertaining to watch – I didn’t know Mark could tumble, and he seemed quite a bit more enthusiastic and energetic this week as well.  The cat theme was a cute, memorable touch as well – doubt anyone is going to really remember his flubs (cause there were much bigger ones happening tonight…), and I have to say his “horny” comment in the confessional from last week had me chuckling for awhile.  Middle of the pack for the mambo competition, so not terribly memorable; but I think a lot more viewers are going to start picking up the phones for Mark if he continues to improve the way he has for the past few weeks…

5.) Kelly & Louis – I think these two could make it to the finals on chemistry alone.  It’s adorable watching them interact – Kelly had me laughing so hard during the lead in when she started cussing at Louis.  They remind me of an older brother and a younger sister – always picking with each other, but friends at the end of the day.  Ok, now their jitterbug: it was cute, but not great.  While I feel like Kelly has improved from last week’s ho-hum paso, I still feel like she’s dancing timidly and is continuing to run the risk of being boring.  They came in 5th in the mambo competition, which is actually kind of admirable considering they were the only ones without a choreographed routine and were relying on lead & follow.  Kelly is still America’s Sweetheart though, and she’s likely to still get some sympathy votes from her foot injury last week, so I’d be surprised if they were in danger…

6.) Michael & Anna – Strange as it may sound – I actually really liked his waltz tonight! Yes, it was ridiculously simple choreography, and it was mostly just Anna turning and dipping; but something about it was, as I think Len put it, “charming”.  It seemed like he wasn’t trying to ham it up, for the first time in the competition.  And again, I agree with Len – Michael did actually have some nice rise & fall.  I may be a bit biased though – the song they danced to (“Wonder Why” by Curtis Stigers) has a bit of a special place in my heart (but that’s another story ), and for once the band didn’t seem to butcher it.  They were the first ones tapped out in the mambo competition (no real surprise there), but if the past few weeks have been any indicator, Michaels fans will pull him through yet again, and a few stragglers may contribute a few votes as well after this waltz…

7.) Louie & Chelsie - Anyone else sense a bit of trouble in paradise between these two during the lead-in? I’m beginning to think Louie might be a bit sexually frustrated, hehe.  But anyway – this really had the potential to be a good jitterbug.  Louie came out strong and had more energy this week than I’ve seen from him so far – and then he dropped Chelsie.  TWICE.  Ai ai ai.  And it was all down hill from there! I almost feel like I jinxed him somehow by gushing about how he was “always there for Chelsie” during lifts & tricks week after week.  But I give Louie points for still maintaining a little bit of chemistry with Chelsie, and there was a definite smooch-a-roo at the end (a bit desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures!).  Second ones tapped out during the mambo, so not great; but they’ve managed to avoid the danger zone the past few weeks…it’s a bit of a draw for me; they might be in danger, they might not.  But I would be surprised if they went home.

8.) Aaron & Karina – Despite the “new Aaron Carter” being a bit more mild-mannered and tolerable than the emotional tantrum-throwing one of a few weeks ago, I’m afraid the damage has already been done…and even great dancing won’t be able to boost them up.  Aaron’s waltz was alright – his arabesque turn was actually pretty good, but he still seems to do awkward things with his hands and tends to get a very intense “deer in the headlights” look when he’s not looking at Karina.  Sorry buddy, I think this new, improved attitude may be too little too late…

9.) Melissa & Mark – I almost would rather talk about Shirley Ballas than Melissa’s waltz…so I apologize for the brief digression.  I heart Shirley Ballas – the woman will kick your @$$, but she will make you the best dancer you can be.  And she’s quite a spitfire, despite appearing to be a mild-mannered British woman…love her.  Now onto Melissa’s waltz: it was stiff, awkward, error-ridden, and boring.  And they were the 3rd couple eliminated in the mambo competition.  Oh, and they were also in the bottom two last week.  I don’t see them climbing out of it this week, and I don’t see them surviving a double elimination.  And that’s all I have to say about them…pity that they’ve become so unmemorable…

Ok, official predictions for the double elimation: Aaron & Karina and Melissa & Mark, with Louie & Chelsie and Michael & Anna rounding out the bottom 4 (I honestly don’t know how the double elimation is going to work, so I’m assuming they’re just going to do 2 separate elims with 2 of the couples in the bottom 4).  But the bottom 2 have been shuffling around quite a bit the past few weeks, so we may get a surprise tomorrow…what do you guys think? Let’s hear it!

For the first time this season, I really don’t have much to say about tonight.  Despite having two of the most emotionally-charged dances (and an energetic group dance), my overall feeling for tonight is “blah” – which is why I really had a hard time with this week’s rankings.  Probably the hardest yet, because very few people really “stood out” tonight – and the paso dobles seemed to really get lost in the shuffle amongst a sea of Argentine tangos.  Oh well…on with it…

1.) Joanna & Maks – Yes, they did flub…but it will probably make this tango that much more memorable and will also get a lot of sympathy votes (as if Heidi didn’t drum up enough for sick Derek via Twitter! ).  And they had the virtue of being in the “money spot” (which I don’t think was accidental…) Joanna was actually quite good in the tango – she had the heat, and was the only one that seemed to get the characteristic “brush” of the feet against the floor.  This was probably my fave routine of hers yet – it just would have been a heck of a lot better with Derek in it! Although, oddly enough, Maks & Joanna seemed to get along pretty well…maybe the eastern European connection? But no worries, Heidi…there is only one man for Joanna, and it starts with a “D” and ends in “Erek Hough”…

2.) Donny & Kym – (WARNING TO DONNY FANS: Hatchet job in process…don’t bother reading on if you get offended easily!) Now, I did say last week that it was pointless to talk about Donny’s dancing because he’s gonna get a ton of votes (and a lot of smoke blown up his tookus from the judges) week after week.  But I feel it’s my duty to point out that he was RIDICULOUSLY overscored this week.  His tango was, at best, stiff and cold.  I got NO HEAT from him – and honestly, who really wants to see a smoldering Osmond? I think I threw up in my mouth a little when he made the comment about “knowing about passion” because he had 5 kids.  And again with the hackneyed fauxmance with Bruno…ick, ick, ick.  But the crowd still cheers the loudest for him, and everyone (with the exception of maybe me, Heidi, & John) thinks he’s just dandy.  *sigh* Have fun on your trip to the finals, Donny boy…

3.) Mya & Dmitry – Still stone cold.  Great choreography (Dmitry really seems to shine in Argentine tango), near-flawless execution from Mya – and not a smidge of heat between them.  I had high hopes for Mya after the steam she brought to the lambada last week, but alas, it was all in vain.  *sigh* But their scores (and Mya’s fanbase) will likely carry them through again…

4.) Kelly & Louis - I give Kelly mad props for seemingly bringing Louis out of his shell – the guy has been wearing more makeup than some of the girls this season! It definitely makes them memorable, as does their song choice (honoring dear old daddy ) and rocking theme.  And I am aware she was dancing with an injury…but let’s be honest - her paso was highly mediocre.  Kelly seems to be receding further into her shell with each performance, and it looked like she was more or less just walking through her choreo tonight…she may be the “loveable underdog” this season, but she is beginning to run the risk of becoming boring.  And boring does not keep you safe week after week…

5.) Louie & Chelsie – I’m gonna put it out there: Louie & Chelsie read my rankings last week and are heeding my advice and playing up the showmance These two look more smitten each time I see them – putting their heads together (a big body language indicator of attraction and trust, as it is a very vulnerable position), smiling broadly during practice, always facing their bodies toward one another.  But I actually agreed with Len and thought this was their best routine yet tonight – it had a story to it (which most of the other tangos didn’t), they were connected physically and emotionally, and the execution was clean.  I gotta hand it to Louie – he is always there for Chelsie physically during all of the stunts.  He’s a strong lil guy! And those two are still cute as a button…onto next week…

6.) Mark & Lacey – These two are still getting lost in the shuffle for me, despite the fact that they seem to be improving.  Their paso actually left me a little confused this week – Mark had some moments of great strength and character during the routine, and he also had some moments where I actually found him to be a little bit…effeminate.  Not sure if it was the way he was sticking out his hips or the expression on his face, but at certain points he really looked absolutely ridiculous to me.  Surprisingly enough, I actually preferred their two-step last week over this one. But if the judges say they’re improving, the voters will likely follow, and they’ll live to dance another week.  I’m just not sure they’re improving at enough of a clip to stick around much longer…

7.) Michael & Anna - I don’t think it was any accident that Michael got paso this week…after the disaster that was the bolero last week, I think the producers took pity on poor Anna and gave them a dance without a hint of romance.  But the paso suited him well, and he was actually quite entertaining to watch – not too painful on the eyes.  But I find that paso can be a dance that is easy to ”fake” your way through, and really, that’s all he was doing.  And Michael the ham came out strong with a bit about ”holding a quarter with your butt” and then took a cue from Donny and pandered to Bruno…probably a wise move on his part.  There’s a slight chance these two could end up in the bottom two, but after they were snatched from the jaws of death last week by Michael’s fans, I sincerely doubt they’re leaving this week.

8.) Melissa & Mark - Sorry Melissa, looks like you really are a one-week wonder.  And yes, I know your partner was sick one day (and you got to work with the fabulous Anna T., whom I adore ) - but your tango still sucked.  The energy was low, and Mark did most of the fancy footwork (which is really supposed to be the woman’s job in this dance). Aside from that, I remember nothing about it.  And I don’t know how much longer you can coast through on Mark’s popularity…

9.) Aaron & Karina – Oh Aaron, what are we going to do with you? (and ironically enough, this was actually a lyric in one of his early songs back in the day! lol) I daresay you’ve got a lot of reputation repair to do to recover from your emotional outbursts the past two weeks.  And it doesn’t help that you seemed to be on the verge of happy tears upon getting your scores this week…although your tango was actually pretty darn good.  Like Louie, Aaron is strong, and good at tricks – he never seems to falter when he’s hoisting his partner around, and for the first time I actually felt a little bit of heat between he & Karina when their faces were close together.  But when they were apart? Totally blank.  Not a whole lot of showmanship here. And they performed early in the show, which never seems to help.  On a (slightly) unrelated note – does anyone else detect a rivalry between Aaron & Louie? Louie definitely took a cheap shot at Aaron during his confessional last week, and their “Who can do the best flip?” contest during the hustle practice seemed to have a slightly aggressive undercurrent…

10.) Natalie & Alec – Robotic, emotionless, low energy, and BLAH.  I really have nothing more to say about it.  I don’t know how it’s possible, but Natalie seems to  have actually gotten WORSE with each passing week, in both stage presence & technique. It  certainly didn’t help that she got stuck in the “crap spot” by dancing first…and she definitely doesn’t have the scores to keep her safe this week.  I also noticed her starting to develop the “Wish I had more to say…

So ummm yah…I really don’t have a lot more to say.  I think it’ll come down to Aaron & Karina (or maybe Melissa & Mark) and Natalie & Alec in the bottom 2, with Natalie probably going home. We’ll suffer through the group hustle once again as the encore, and we’ll probably be underwhelmed by the MJ tribute.  *sigh* But hopefully you guys will have some strong opinions about tonights show…and I wanna hear ‘em!

Also, feel free to take a look back at all the previous Dancing with the Stars power rankings to see how they’ve changed as the show progressed.

I have an annoucement to make.

Heidi is indisposed at the moment…she fainted (and subsequently hit her head) because Derek TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT.  ALL THE WAY OFF, PEOPLE!  And while my reaction may not have been as strong as Heidi’s, I will admit – it was nice to see a guy with his shirt completely off instead of hanging open or unbuttoned, as if to tease the female viewers (shame on them).  Been jonesin’ for that since Gilles’ paso last season…

…but I digress.  I dub tonight’s show as the “Lipstick Mark” show due to the fact that almost everyone felt compelled to leave their mark on their partner (sometimes more than once…I love you to bits, Louis Van  :-) ) Tonight was such a mixed bag, with 4 new dances, so it was hard to really make any other generalizations other than the lipstick marks.  Sorry But I will say that those who got the lambada or the Charleston definitely had an advantage over those that got the 2-step or bolero…and let’s just say those that got bolero got ROYALLY screwed…

1.) Joanna & Derek - Derek may have singlehandedly shot himself (and Joanna, of course) to the top in viewer votes when he doffed his shirt.  But even if he hadn’t – that routine would have been commotion enough!  This is the routine that the hens in my office will be aflutter about tomorrow. The steps and execution of the lambada were good (if not a bit repetitive), but this week they brought the chemistry (man oh man! ) that I have had yet to really feel from these two…definitely the sexiest dance of the night.  Heidi, you were definitely onto something when you said that Joanna really had an advantage in having Derek – because right now, it’s his overall likeability, innovative (and lusty!) choreography, and penchant for taking his clothes off that is probably keeping Joanna on right now.  Let’s face it: Joanna is good, and pretty, but not so much well-known…but sex sells, people.  SEX SELLS!

2.) Mya & Dmitry – I know, I know…everyone thinks Mya & Dmitry are boring.  But tonight I feel as though they had a breakthrough…I definitely felt the heat from Mya.  However, I think I’ve figured out where the disconnect happens in their chemistry – Dmitry.  I was getting all sorts of vibes off of Mya tonight, and almost none from him.  For me, he’s basically out there just doing choreography and showcasing Mya – which is what he’s supposed to do, but at least put some feeling into it! I have to say – Mya felt the most “authentic” to me in the lambada - I could totally picture her in a seedy nightclub in Rio, grinding away and dripping with sweat. Anyway, these two tied for the top spot, and got the coveted “money spot” (the last dance of the evening) – and they were oily.  REEEAAALLLLY oily.  I think the light reflecting off of Mya’s legs was supposed to inspire the viewers to vote…and they might, but even if they didn’t, I think their scores alone could carry them through.

3.) Donny & Kym – I almost feel like it’s pointless to really try and rate Donny on his dancing, because no matter what he does, I think he more or less has a first class seat straight to the finale…UGH.  Ok, I will admit that their Charleston was technically pretty good – Donny seemed to keep up with the intricate hand and foot work, and seemed to carry off the character of the waiter well (surprise, surprise). But – and there is a but (anyone catch the SYTYCD reference? ) – he did fall out of step at one point, and got called out for it.  So maybe the coddling from the judges is about to wear off and they’re going to start being harder on him…then again, his rabid female baby boomer fanbase will probably just rally that much harder to keep up his vote percentage up.  I could go on and on about things that I didn’t like about Donny tonight (or any night, really)…but there really is no point…he’s staying around for a long time…phooey.

4.) Melissa & Mark – I am pleased as punch with Melissa tonight…she finally brought both the energy and the enthusiasm we all have been waiting for! I think she definitely had an advantage in having the Charleston, as Mark seems to really thrive in high-energy, goofy choreography.  They tied for the highest score, and I have a feeling they might get the encore tomorrow night (sorry Heidi, while I too would enjoy an encore of Derek & Joanna’s lambada, I have a feeling the FCC might veto that! haha ) The black and white during the beginning was fun (and memorable!), as was Mark’s mustache (as smarmy as it made him look).  They may have had a bit of a disadvantage in going so early in the show, but nevertheless, I don’t see these two going anywhere this week…

5.) Kelly & Louis – I adddoooorrrreeee these two.  So cute together – but rather than a romantic chemistry, it’s really more of a brother-sister chemistry, which is cute nonetheless While Kelly’s Charleston was not as high-energy as Melissa’s or crisp as Donny’s, she brought her own brand of sass to it, which always seems to work in her favor.  And Louis with that dreadful makeup…ai ai ai.  I can’t decide which was worse tonight – Louis’ makeup or Mark’s mustache. But people will remember it! Plus these two are just so doggone likeable even when they aren’t the center of attention (anyone else catch those two goofing off in the background while someone got their scores? ), that they’ll probably coast through this week and several more, because they seem to have the voters wrapped around their jazzy little Fosse fingers

6.) Mark & Lacey – I’m starting to see glimmers of stage presence from Mark, and little bits of the wild Lacey choreography I love.  I think he seemed to take to the “swagger” of a cowboy fairly well, which made him more entertaining to watch.  And I have to give Lacey props – this was the most authentic, well-choreographed 2-step of the evening…not only that, but Mark seemed to keep up with it and do more than just walk around the room spinning the girl (although honestly…that’s pretty much all guys do in 2-step :-/).  Still not super memorable for me, but a dramatic improvement from last week (and prior weeks).  And they did pull out their highest score thus far…

7. ) Aaron & Karina – Oy. I think Aaron may be giving Donny a run for his money with the dramatic displays he’s pulling…except he doesn’t have as big a fanbase to keep him in.  This is the first week that Aaron has really been “off-putting” to me – I thought his crying over the rumba scores was over-the-top (only girls are allowed to cry on DWTS! DUH! ) and his overall “work, work, work” demeanor came across as stubborn and a bit whiney.  Their lambada wasn’t terrible – it just wasn’t great, or particularly memorable.  Not a whole lotta content – just Karina spinning and a bunch of tricks (although I will say that his tumbling pass in the opening was flawless…and it should be, for as big a deal as he made about it!).  I can definitely see him losing some votes this week due to last week’s meltdown, but then again, the opposite could happen – he could become memorable because of his dramatics. Guess it depends on whether his “off-putting” outweighs his charm or not…

8.) Natalie & Alec - May as well call this one rumba redux – felt like a recycled version of their rumba last week, just without the sheet and with a lot more glitter.  In her defense (and Alec’s as well), bolero was definitely the hardest of the 4 new dances, and I think having to do it the week after you did the rumba makes it hard for you to be memorable, as they are often so similar in timing and footwork (at least when done by amateurs), they’re nary indistinguishable.  I felt maybe a tad more chemistry between them (just a tad), but it was a valiant effort – Natalie has great legs, and moves beautifully.  And she’s still sweet as pie, even when she’s “frustrated” with Alec, and she did tie for the 3rd higest score of the night…the question is: will her smile and scores get her the votes?

10.) Louie & Chelsie – The only reason these two aren’t in my “danger zone” is that I think they may be able to ride the coattails of this whole “showmance” thing for a little while longer.  People are still abuzz about the rumba, and Chelsie tweeted some awfully chummy pix of the two of them at Disneyland over the weekend.  And if I were them, I would milk that for all its worth – cause this 2-step was pretty underwhelming, at least on Louie’s part.  Granted, Louie is good at doing tricks, and he always seems to stay on time and can actually keep his hands straight while spinning Chelsie (which is all this really was, anyway).  But he’s really starting to feel a bit “blah” to me in terms of showmanship…he just grins and walks through the dance.  And he definitely doesn’t have the mainstream fanbase of Donny or Melissa, or the judges’ scores in his favor – he’s basically slipping through on cuteness and showmanceyness (yah, I just said that) alone.  So Louie & Chelsie, if you happen to read this – SHOW-MANCE.  I don’t care if you hate each other – get caught walking hand-in-hand at the Grove, or kissing while sharing a milkshake, or something else cute and couple-y for people to talk about – it’s your only hope!!!

11.) Chuck & Anna – Oh Chuck, you big loveable teddy bear.  You can’t really dance for beans, but you’re just so darn huggable that I don’t even care.  Let’s face it: there’s not much to be said technically here: not a lot of content, mainly just Anna spinning around…probably the least authentic 2-step of the evening.  But I stand by my belief that Chuck would totally rock at doing lifts – didn’t even break a sweat.  The fluidity with which he hurled Anna up onto his shoulder…magnificent.  But I fear their days are numbered, and likeability will only trump bad dancing for so long (unless you’re an Osmond…*cough cough*).  So glad we got to see him do lifts, though!

12.) Michael & Anna – No surprises here.  Although I do find it a bit funny that they got the hardest dance…almost as if production was trying to engineer who went home…hmmm…but anyway.  All this was was some flaily arms and some faux sexy times (which was really just kinda icky…although not as icky as Donny & Kym).  Just Anna doing the occasional dip and Michael trying in vain to look romantic. Epic fail.  I think the “I stink but I’m fun!” train has just run out of steam for these two…they already had one foot out the door last week.  And Anna was really a letdown for me this season – she was brilliant in the pro competition, and nothing on the actual show.  *sigh* I was really waiting for her to hit her groove…

So long, Michael & Anna…it’s been fun, but fun can only take you so far in this competition.  So now let’s hear what you guys think…feel free to agree or disagree, all opinions are welcome! And while you’re at it, someone might want to send Heidi some e-smelling salts…I hear she’s still passed out from tonight’s show

Ummmm…wow.  Something strange sure was in the air tonight (no pun intended, in reference to Natalie’s song ) – not sure it was love, but maybe loss of inhibitions? Kelly may have been right – the full moon (which was in Aries – the sign of primal desires!) over the weekend must have been doing all sorts of crazy things to the couples – makeout sessions with the judges, makeout sessions with each other, and all out sex on the floor – as well as some big shake-ups in the power rankings.  Anyone else feel like they need a cigarette (or a shower? ) after tonight’s show?

1.) Donny & Kym – Not gonna lie – I thought their rumba this week was BOR-ING.  Donny had no hip action, no energy, and little to no chemistry with Kym – in fact, it was kind of icky to me to see them trying to be romantic with one another.  But not nearly as icky as the stunt he pulled with Bruno! Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea, I have absolutely NO ISSUES with two men kissing.  My issue with Donny is that I felt like he was compensating for lack of performance by pulling some outlandish stunt that is sure to get tongues wagging tomorrow.  Since his routine had no theme for him to play to, he had to make some big scene in order to remain memorable to the voters.  Tacky, tacky, tacky, Donny.  Did you see the way he was trying to snatch the mic from Tom? Nobody messes with my glorious Tom Bergeron! Not even Chuck Norris.  But, as tacky and over-the-top as I found it, it is bound to make its way into every media outlet possible tomorrow…the plague of the histrionic Osmonds continues…

2.) Louie & Chelsie – Again, another couple with marginal technique rises to the top – but for some reason, I really like these two…especially after that encounter that unfolded on the dance floor! I will say this about Louie’s technique: he was always there for Chelsie after each trick, and he did have one pretty good lunge.  But man – these two are the only ones who really nailed the chemistry aspect well in the the rumba tonight…maybe a bit too well! It’s quite obvious that Louie is pretty smitten with Chelsie, and I think she may be warming up to him as well.  And it’s likely to work to their advantage – sex sells, and the voters always seem to love a good showmance (since we haven’t seen one since Derek & Shannon in season 6!) If I were them, I would strategically start being seen together out in public, and act super touchy-feely at every opportunity on the show – really ride the wave of this showmance thing, guys! Cause let’s face it: it’s not Louie’s technique that’s going to pull him through…

3.) Kelly & Louis – The voters also seem to love a good “comeback kid” – as if they weren’t pulling for her already! I think her meltdown after the tango last week will likely garner quite a few sympathy votes – but her samba was not really that bad, either! Loved the interaction between those two – they had more chemistry in their samba than a lot of the couples had in their rumba! Kelly is still moving a bit small & timid, but hopefully she will build enough confidence to really do well further down the line…

4.) Mya & Dmitry – I’m a bit at odds with these two.  The rumba was decent (but not nearly as good as their jive last week), and Mya had a very good rumba walk, but their chemistry (or lack thereof) left me stone cold.  If Chelsie & Louie nailed the chemistry of the rumba, Mya & Dmitry nailed the technique – although I think the slow pace of the rumba may have exposed Mya’s weak leg action (she wasn’t really bending and straightening enough to get her hips moving).  While they may have lacked any chemistry (and the readers here will likely villify her for being “cold” & “boring”), the judges scores still factor into the determination of who goes and who stays – and they’re at the top of the leader board, and got the first two tens of the season.  Just sayin’…

5.) Joanna & Derek – I’m currently bracing for impact from Hurricane Heidi as I write this.  These two were actually rather blah for me this week.  Joanna didn’t seem to really find the characteristic “bounce” of the samba (then again, no one really did) and she looked a bit off-balance to me, likely due to taking too big steps.  The one shadow roll they did was great – but I wanted more! I didn’t really get the whole entrance on the rope (although I’m sure Heidi has a perfectly rational explanation for it! lol), and poor Joanna – that wig was just awful.  But I think these two will make a comeback next week with one of the new dances.  They ain’t goin’ anywhere …

6.) Aaron & Karina – The higher you climb, the further you fall.  Another stone cold rumba - with rather wonky arms, I might add.  I was a bit unpleasantly surprised by the way he flung them around – he looked like he might take Karina’s head off at one point – and the hips never really got a-rollin’.  Poor Aaron seemed to be so focused on the routine that he forgot to interact with Karina…after that rumba, I say “Poppycock!” to anyone perpetuating the rumor of a showmance between these two (we all know there can be only one showmance per season – and we already have Louie & Chelsie! ). But I think I may have figured out why he may rub some of you the wrong way: he’s just such a perfectionist.  Watching him beat himself up trying to get the steps right during the package leads me to believe that he might come off as a bit abrasive to some – and I blame his hip-hop background for the alleged “cocky-ness”.  Hoping these two bring it next week, cause I actually really like them…

7.) Natalie & Alec – Anyone else think that production is desperately trying to make these two seem not so blah? The most dramatic part of this rumba was the entrance (a smoke machine? REALLY????! ), and maybe the music.  The rest of it (aside from Natalie’s superb back bend at the end) was pretty cold for me.  Like everyone else, Natalie didn’t get the hip & leg action, and she still seems nervous & stiff to me when she dances.  All in all, I think they were a bit overscored…again, maybe production pulling the puppet strings??? Either way, I doubt these two are going home this week – despite being pretty boring & unmemorable, their scores are still probably good enough to keep them in…

8.) Mark & Lacey – I had such high hopes for these two!!! But again, they left me with really nothing memorable.  I didn’t like (or really understand) the costumes, I hated the music (those two must have done something to get on production’s bad side with that pick), and I hated the choreography because I didn’t remember it at all.  Mark did seem a bit less stiff this week, but he is still, overall, STIFF.  Oh, and did I mention there was little to no interaction between these two? I can’t even comment on chemistry, because they were barely making eye contact.  Being the first to dance didn’t seem to help them, either.  Here’s hoping that Lacey’s fanbase pulls them through another week…and that Lacey gets her “edge” back…

9.) Chuck & Anna – I am really beginning to adore Chuck Liddell.  I stand by my comment about his being a “gentle giant” – I loved seeing him get a pedicure with his daughter in the package! And he did manage to crack a smile this week during his samba – which, I might add, was not bad! He was still shuffle-y, and dropped his frame, but all in all, he managed to stay on time, and seemed to have a bit more energy behind his moves this week.  I actually enjoyed watching him this week, as opposed to cringing, lol.  And I have to say – as intimidating as they may come across, I don’t really think they could have picked a better pro for Chuck.  He & Anna’s personalities really seem to mesh well.  And I feel as though I have grossly underestimated his UFC fanbase in the past few weeks…I would honestly be surprised if these two went home this week…

10.) Tom & Cheryl – As much as some may love to hate this guy, I gotta give him props – he seems to genuinely want to do well, and he does.  The man managed to pull off a pretty watchable samba, despite 2 stress fractures.  He stayed on time, he did the steps – I can’t really say that he was the worst tonight.  The energy of the routine did seem a bit low, but they did chose a pretty clever theme that will likely stick in voter’s minds – that, and voters seem to sympathize with injured cast members.  His days are likely numbered (if he doesn’t withdraw from the competition first), but I am pretty sure his journey won’t end this week…

11.) Michael & Anna – The whole “I stink as a dancer, but I’m having fun!” schtick seems to be getting a bit old.  I see little to no improvement in his dancing week-to-week, and honestly, all of he & Anna’s routines are starting to feel the same to me – similar music, similar costumes, similar choreography.  I did see a few glimmers of good technique here and there – he did pretty good whisks – but overall, I felt like it was just him out there yukkin’ it up. But maybe that yukkin’ will pull him through one more week…

12.) Melissa & Mark – Here’s another couple that may or may not be getting assistance from production (although they aren’t the “chosen ones” like Natalie & Alec) – tiki torches? REALLY???!! That was the only thing that was on fire (literally) about their samba – Melissa is still moving small, and looking timid.  And for some reason, I just have the hardest time remembering anything significant about she & Mark’s routines.  I think these two could be in trouble, for the simple fact that there is nothing memorable or exciting about their routines. But on a slightly unrelated note – did anyone else feel like Mark’s costume was totally out of place? He looked like he was about to do a foxtrot, not a samba!

13.) Debi & Maks – I’m afraid these two have reached the end of the road.  After falling into the bottom 2 last week, they really need to make a good impression this week – and I think they fell short.  Carrie-Ann was right – their choreography was a bit “safe” (much like Kathy & Tony’s last week…hmmm…;-)) and the steps they did do seemed sloppy and timid.  And that skirt they had Debi in was god-awful…were they hoping to distract us from her poor technique??? And once again, I’m left remembering absolutely nothing about their routine, other than the fact that I didn’t like it. 

So official prediction: Debi & Maks headed home.  Goodbye and godspeed, guys! And I apologize for the brevity of some of my analyses…I am currently fighting off a sinus infection and am not at 100% capacity Wash your hands, people, it’s flu season! And let’s hear what you think!