Princess Heidi

Dancing with the Stars Season 16, The Finale – Who’s Dancing What…and When?

And does anyone still care?? I’m trying to care, really I am.

Thought for the day: I looked up the actual definition of “social engineering” which lead me to “confidence trick” and “exploits characteristics of the human psyche”. Just sayin’.

This is how it stacks up so far. I don’t think the dance order has really mattered for a couple weeks in terms of voting. I think at this stage it could have more of an impact on the judges scoring. They could put Kellie and Zendaya first and judge the other two against that bar. Or Zendaya and Aly – I’m still not sure, however, that their love affair with Aly wasn’t a product of not wanting Ingo in the finale. Same for Jacoby. I thought he was great, but I sense that he’s seen his last 30′s if he’s not getting the lion’s share of the votes. Anyway, here are the dances – think Kellie was the least favored here, not sure. Also note that I’ve not included the instant dance on Tuesday night. As previously reported, only the top three perform that. Someone is told they are fourth place right at the beginning of the show…or within the first hour, anyway.

If I were a betting woman, I would say this will be the order…

Zendaya and Val
Dance 1 (Judges Choice): Samba
Dance 2: Cha Cha Relay
Dance 3: Freestyle
Voting # 1-800-868-3406

Kellie and Derek
Dance 1 (Judges Choice): Quickstep
Dance 2: Cha Cha Relay
Dance 3: Freestyle
Voting # 1-800-868-3401

Jacoby and Karina
Dance 1 (Judges Choice): Jive
Dance 2: Cha Cha Relay
Dance 3: Freestyle
Voting # 1-800-868-3412

Aly and Mark
Dance 1 (Judges Choice): Samba
Dance 2: Cha Cha Relay
Dance 3: Freestyle
Voting # 1-800-868-3408

Zendaya and Aly both having Samba strikes me as…fishy. I need Courtney the ballroom dancer because Samba doesn’t strike me as the “easiest” dance of the four that were handed out, but I’m honestly not sure who, if anyone, is getting hosed here. I think the Samba ladies have an easier “fake it till you make it” dance – the same can’t be said of Quickstep. I think probably Jacoby is probably the worst off, even though he LOVES to Jive. He’s FUN, but is he technically a good jiver??

DWTS Season 16 – The Finale Details!

Looks like 2 seasons in a row that someone who desperately wants to avoid the rumba gets their wish. From the ABC Press Release:

In the Monday’s two-hour performance show, the remaining couples will compete in three rounds of dance. In the first round, each couple will take on a new routine in a dance style that the judges would like to see again. In round two, the couples will be challenged to a Cha Cha relay, where each pair dances to a different section of the same song. In the last round — and one of the biggest competitive dances of the season — the couples take on a supersized freestyle featuring special effects, additional dancers and unexpected surprises.

On Tuesday, the entire celebrity cast returns, including Any Dick, Dorothy Hamill, D.L. Hughley, Wynonna Judd, Victor Ortiz, Ingo Rademacher, Sean Lowe and Lisa Vanderpump. The returning stars will perform a show-stopping opening number with the pro and troupe dancers. The show will feature music from Pitbull, who will perform his new single, “Hands Up,” and Wynonna will sing “I Want to Know What Love Is.” In addition, PSY will take to the stage with his latest hit, “Gentleman,” and Jessica Sanchez will sing her version of Pitbull’s “Feel This Moment.”

The fourth-place couple will be eliminated within the first hour of the show, and in a final element of the competition, the three remaining couples will perform a new routine in an “Instant Dance”– where they will tackle a style they know, but to music given to them for the first time live on television. This routine will be scored out of 30 and will round out the judges’ scores across both nights.

Discuss. Sounds pretty much like I predicted it would go. I can’t say who this is weighted in favor of – I think they all have advantages. But yeah, the complete absence of one unlearned dance stinks to high heaven. Very convenient.

DWTS Season 16, Week 9 – Who Got the Boot? (SPOILERS)

This show is so predictable. So….what happened? Well, since Kellie was in jeopardy last week, it was Zendaya’s turn this week. I would wager that them calling Jacoby safe first and putting Zen in danger (after putting Kellie in danger last week ) means that TPTB are hoping for Kellie and Zen in the top 2 next week. Not sure that will actually happen, but that’s what I see being telegraphed. I could be wrong. I have been before. And lord knows TPTB don’t always get what they want.

Anyway, as expected Ingo…and his cutie pie spawn, Peanut…went home. How did we do? Well, this one was a no brainer.

Heidi: I said Ingo was going home with NO back up plan.

Courtney: Said Ingo was going home. Court had Jacoby in second to last place, but I’m not sure she thought he was at risk. I’ll let her say.

Vogue: Said Ingo was going and had zen in second to last…but again, I’m not sure she thought that Zen was at any risk.

Winners?? Eh….who cares. Derek and Kellie got an encore FINALLY. That was nice.

DWTS Season 16, Week 9 – Dancing by the Numbers

Okay, the scenario for Week 9 is underscore Zendaya for the first round and massively overscore her in the second round, putting her in fourth place. Clearly, Ingo can’t beat her in votes. He might be able to beat one of the others (Aly?), but he can’t beat her. So, she can handle the underscore in the first round for the DRAMA.

Actually, talking to Court on twitter and she and I disagree a tiny bit on Zendaya’s quickstep. I agreed with the judges: she’s still unsteady out of her turns and that first run, in particular, Val was dragging her. He was dragging her a bit later in the dance as well. I don’t think she was underscored by a lot, but maybe a point. Here is where I am conflicted. IF she were dancing with Derek, they would be docked 2 or 3 points by Len for the Go Karts, the outfits and the fact that she is AGAIN wearing sneakers. I mean, really?? If you can’t do the dances in heels like everyone else you should be docked. But I HATE it when Len does it to Derek (and only Derek), and I don’t agree with it. BUT, if you’re going to do it to Derek – then you have to do it to EVERYONE. That’s the thing about this show – it’s so freakin’ uneven. A 24? A bit low. I say 25, MAYBE 26. And that Hip Hop? SO over rated. And overscored. I mean, really? I expected SO much more. Maybe if I didn’t watch SYTYCD and she hadn’t been dancing hip hop since age 8…..And the judges are pimping her album during the critique? Hey!! Look!! They just jumped that there shark!!

I was actually impressed with Aly’s first dance AND she seems to be coming alive when talking – she’s losing that monotone, rehearsed sound to her comments. I don’t agree that it was worthy of a thirty, but I have to agree that she’s stepping up her game. The second dance?? It was not unique or particularly inspired – but it didn’t suck. I just don’t think it lived up to the hype that Mark was giving it. I appreciate that he was excited about it though, but after Shawn’s samba AND Bhangra last season I was a bit disappointed. Really, the in sync comments were galling on a her and Ingo both – does crack also may you see things in sync??

Jacoby won the night. Seriously. That was a great AT and his Lindy was fun as hell. I can’t argue with his scores at all. Fantastic. Loved him. Was laughing out loud at him once again. He makes me want to do an entire cheesecake devoted to just him (and Peanut in a fedora).

Kellie – fantastic AT, as to be expected with Derek. I agreed with the judges on the Flamenco, as she did seem to tire out a bit. Still amazing and light years ahead of what Val did last season. But Jesus…Derek was freakin’ AMAZING. I’ve never seen him dance like that. That was hot and spicy and incredibly difficult. Wow. I can’t wait to see him tap dancing in his movie (how’s THAT for pimping?). How in the hell do you do that with your feet??? I can’t even imagine. He pretty much put any other Flamenco to SHAME on this show. As Court said on twitter – it’s a shame that Flamenco is the man’s dance like Paso. I could see one of those every season. Done right.

Anyway, where DO we stand??

Zendaya’s scoring is a bit of a red herring designed for Drama, I’m thinking. As I said earlier, I don’t think Ingo can touch her and really, that’s all that matters. You only have to beat one person. And the fact that they felt free to score her somewhat fairly (overall) tells me that the pimping has worked and she’s getting the votes. Maybe. Who knows? Zendaya’s scoring tells me that Ingo is a goner. I’ll be shocked if it’s anyone other than him. What does Ingo need to do to stick around? He needs ONE of the following:

- Ingo needs 10,700 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

- Ingo needs 25,000 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie, OR;

- Ingo needs 28,500 more votes per million votes cast then EITHER Aly or Jacoby.

I don’t think he’s beating Zendaya. Kellie? Anything is possible. I’m still not sure that half of Derek’s fans haven’t said “f#$k it” and walked away in disgust last season. Eh, I doubt Ingo beats Kellie, regardless. I don’t see him catching either Aly or Jacoby either.

Let’s say a miracle happens and Ingo beats someone. Zendaya is next on the list. What does Zendaya need to be safe to next week? She needs ONE of the following:

- Zendaya needs for Ingo to NOT get the 10,700 more votes per million votes cast than her, OR;

- Zendaya needs 14,300 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie, OR;

- Zendaya needs 17,800 more votes per million votes cast than EITHER Jacoby or Aly.

I honestly have no idea if Zendaya’s youngsters are voting for her and/or if the general audience is voting for her or not. If it weren’t for the fact that they’ve been pimping the crap out of her all season, I would suggest a shocking elimination for Zendaya, but I don’t see that happening for her. I think it’s all “mission accomplished” at headquarters.

Let’s say that Ingo and Zendaya are safe. What does Kellie have to do to avoid a shocking elimination?? She needs ONE of the following to happen:

- Kellie needs for Ingo to NOT get the 25,000 more votes per million votes cast than her, OR;

- Kellie needs for Zendaya to NOT get the 14,300 more votes per million votes cast than her, OR;

- Kellie needs to get 3,600 more votes per million votes cast than Aly OR Jacoby.

I have to believe that Kellie is beating Aly at this point, but who can be sure?? I really can’t make a call. I can only make ONE call and that is this:

Ingo be going home. I’m not even going to guess a second choice because I don’t see it…and if I did see it I can’t imagine who he might beat.

Dancing with the Stars Cut to One Night for the Upcoming Fall Season

Well, what do you all think of this. I’m thinking it’s worth a shot. According to Vulture.com:

Fourth-place ABC will radically overhaul its lineup next fall: It’s reducingDancing with the Stars to a single night, launching a Tuesday lineup in which every show is new (anchored by Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D) and giving Rebel Wilson’s Super Fun Night the timeslot following Modern Family. Overall, the Alphabet is futzing with at least one timeslot on five of six nights of its Sunday through Friday schedule, leaving only Mondays untouched. And despite giving Suburgatory a third season order, the network has opted to leave the show off its fall lineup completely. Let’s take a quick look at the changes (full analysis to come later today).

Mondays are stable, but the big shift is that DWTS will now we cut back to just one night per week, with no results show. That’s how the show was launched during its first summer season, and perhaps ABC is hoping that will boost its flagging ratings.

The Hollywood Reporter weighed in with this:

With Dancing With the Stars’ ratings glory days behind it — this latest cycle is averaging a 2.6 rating among adults 18-49 — ABC is condensing the series into one two-hour episode airing every Monday. The combination of the performance and results show takes the series off of Tuesday night for the first time in years. Still, Dancing With the Stars is only a shade behind American Idol in total viewers, and its performance show ranks among TV’s top 10 most-watched broadcasts. What remains to be seen is whether ABC will continue to air two cycles a season.

ETA: Oh for f*#ks sake, ENOUGH WITH THE YOUNGER VIEWERS!! This is one of those instances where a show runner or exec is blind to their own flaws. You’ve been making this grab for how long and it’s not working!! From E! News, more info on the one night idea. It starts off so well and then goes to crap in the last paragraph:

It’s hard to imagine a world where Dancing With the Stars is on only one night a week, but in the fall, we’ll be living in it.

ABC boss Paul Lee told reporters today that the move makes room for one of the most highly anticipated new series of the season: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which air on Tuesday nights. And it will give the show a chance to grab a younger audience.

“We want to focus it in. We’re planning to do two seasons and we think that by taking the results show and building it in the two-hour block from 8 to 10 on Monday night, we can really build a sense of occasion to that and drive viewership to Monday night,” Lee said. “And we have very, very strong development this year, so this allows us to put S.H.I.E.L.D. in at 8 on Tuesdays, which we think is the perfect place for that show. So it’s a one-two punch for us.”

The other move ABC is making to hopefully bring back more viewers to DWTS is skewering it more toward a younger audience.

“One of the critical things each cycle is to make sure we nail the casting,” he said. “You saw us aging down Bachelor this year with some spectacular casting. So certainly we’re going to make sure as we focus on Monday, we focus as well on casting that will help us age it down.”

“Age it down” all you like, just don’t hire from the company pool. Grrrr….he sounds sooo positive about the performance show, like they’re going to invest in it. More bull from a guy trained in bull.

Dancing with the Stars Season 16, Week 9 – Who’s Dancing What…and When?

Well, are we lacking a twitter vote this week? Praise the lord. But I’m sure a new gimmick will be announced in 5…4…3…

So it seems we are missing Jacoby’s first dance…could he be doing the same dance as Kellie for the third week in a row and be doing Argentine Tango?? And why are they the only ones mimicking each other in dances at this late stage?? Anyway, where’s Courtney? She’s the expert in who has what dances left. I *think* Jacoby has AT, Contemporary, Tango and Samba of the dances that have been danced this season. No one has done Waltz – fine by me. I think we only need Viennese Waltz. If they’re looking to get rid of him, he’s likely doing AT. If it’s Ingo headed out the door, he probably has Samba.

~~In no particular order….~~
ETA: Great. Kellie going first. That’s a great sign. Only not really.

Kellie and Derek
Dancing 1st
Dance 1: Argentine Tango
Dance 2: Flamenco
Voting # 1-800-868-3401

Jacoby and Karina
Dance 1: ??
Dance 2: Lindy Hop
Voting # 1-800-868-3412

Ingo and Kym
Dance 1: Samba
Dance 2: Charleston
Voting # 1-800-868-3403

Aly and Mark
Dance 1: Rumba
Dance 2: Afro Jazz
Voting # 1-800-868-3408

Zendaya and Val
Dance 1: Quickstep
Dance 2: Hip Hop
Voting # 1-800-868-3406

DWTS Season 16, Week 8 – Who Got the Boot? (SPOILERS)

So, DWTS Producers, if you’re keeping track, here’s how much of your show we predicted well before it went on the air:

- That Zendaya would get the encore.

- That you would put Jacoby or Kellie in Jeopardy.

- That you would deviate from the “Bottom two” formula and revert to the “not necessarily the bottom two” formula so that you could not reveal that Ingo is also bottom two.

- That Derek’s new dance would be more incredible than anything he’s done so far.

- That Sean would be eliminated.

And we were correct on ALL counts. Aren’t you embarrassed?? Aren’t you embarrassed to so blatantly pimp an ABC employee? Aren’t you embarrassed by making a fool out of yourselves for the tweens who aren’t even watching the show?? The very best choreographer you have gets treated like crap by an OTT judge (and he’s just the latest in a long line to get OTT treatment) has not gotten ONE encore this season (while the Disney employee is on number 3). Not to mention that week after week you find a way to show NO behind the scenes footage of certain couples, but drool all over others. Heads up – *I* am a regular viewer (soon to be former regular viewer) and you’re only listening to the squeaky, childish wheels. I hope Derek wins an Emmy and tells you to shove it up your….

Anyway….how did we do? Well, Courtney and I barely made it through the first half of the show without falling asleep from boredom.

Heidi: Said Sean was going home and Ingo was in the bottom two OR there would be no bottom two and either Jacoby or Kellie would be there with Sean.

Courtney: Said Sean was going home with Ingo in position number two.

Vogue: Said Sean and Ingo in the bottom two with Sean leaving.

Winners?? Derek Hough for managing to always come out smelling like a rose with amazing f@#king talent, Zendaya for winning this show whether people vote for her or NOT, and Peanut for future super stardom – much deserved.

DWTS Season 16, Week 8 – Dancing by the Numbers

Well, I have to say, I’m about over this show. Sooo predictable. Zendaya not at the top for a couple weeks, so we better make sure she’s there tonight. Kellie was at the top for a couple weeks, we better make sure she has a fall. Derek starts talking creatively, prepare for the stupid from Len. Oh, and now Sean has to be the new Andy. Did he dance great? No. But neither did Ingo. Certainly not worthy of the points separating them.

It makes me sad, actually. I nearly forgot to turn the TV on tonight. I can’t work up too much indignation over Kellie’s Paso because I knew in advance that that was how it was going to go. It’s Zendaya’s turn to be at the top of the leaderboard. Did she have the best dances of the night? I don’t actually REMEMBER.

I’m bored. Heads up DWTS – you’re losing me.

Anyway, Sean is pretty much toast and I don’t see any way around it. Yes, Ingo has been in the bottom two before, but Sean is significantly below him in score and he’s been in the bottom two also. What would it take for Sean to be safe?? He needs ONE of the following:

- Sean needs 19,300 more votes per million votes cast than Ingo, OR;

- Sean needs 32,200 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

- Sean needs 41,800 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie, OR;

- Sean needs 45,100 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

- Sean needs 51,500 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya.

Yeah, I don’t see that happening either. Now, his one hope, I think, is Ingo. What does Ingo need to be safe tomorrow night? He needs ONE of the following things to happen:

- Ingo needs for Sean to NOT get the 19,300 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

- Ingo needs 12,900 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

- Ingo needs 22,600 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie, OR;

- Ingo needs 25,800 more votes per millon votes cast than Aly, OR;

- Ingo needs 32,200 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya.

I would go on, but I’m bored. If I turn out to be wrong, I’ll do a follow up post. In a nutshell, I predict Ingo and Sean in the bottom two with Sean going home. If not Sean, then Ingo. If Ingo avoids the bottom two, then Jacoby will be there, but I kind of doubt it. We’re about at that time in the season where they stop doing a “bottom 2” and start reverting to the “in no particular order” spiel. I would not be at all surprised to see a Jeopardy final two standing. For example, them saying Sean, you’re in jeopardy….then saying the same thing to Jacoby or Kellie and Ingo. No mention of bottom two, but putting Sean against someone other than Ingo….for the sake of Drama.

And then Sean goes home. Or Ingo, if Sean is lucky.

DWTS Season 16, Weeks 6 and 7 – The Cheesecake Awards, SUPERSIZED!!

Week 7 was actually so bad that I (Heidi) couldn’t come up with very many awards. I was overwhelmed. And not in a good way.

WEEK 6

The “Who’s That Girl??” Award: Sharna Burgess for looking strikingly different in the rehearsal footage than she does on the actual show.

Heidi: She’s seriously naturally gorgeous without the make up – I think prettier without it. I think it’s the uniqueness of the dark hair and the blue eyes. Let’s hope she keeps it that way. For the love of all that is holy, DO NOT dye your hair blonde, Sharna. I know the temptation may be over whelming, but RESIST. Blonde females are a dime a dozen on that show.

Courtney: I think the makeup department may be to blame in this instance – they just love to over-smoke her eyes, just like they love to over-line Peta’s eyes, and put nude lipstick on Lindsay to make it look like she has no mouth. They have an uncanny way of making naturally gorgeous ladies look totally over-done. And as for the blondes – it’s times like this where I really miss Anna. I could always spot her red hair whipping around in that sea of blonde

The Award for Person Most likely to Earn a Punch in the Mouth (a.k.a. If you don’t STFU, I’m going to hit you HARD): Len Goodman, Sean Lowe and Ingo Rademacher for the constant mentions of Andy’s name, sometimes in a derrogatory way (Len).

Heidi: Seriously, you jackasses are that threatened by Andy?? Pissing me off, you were. Perhaps you too noticed all the females surround Andy after his dances….Kellie, Sharna, Kym, to name a few. Not to mention Derek is always high fiving him. Me thinks you dudes are jealous. Don’t know what Len’s problem was – they showed on the results show that they scored Sean because he was “better than Andy.” What the hell??

Courtney: Methinks Sean & Ingo realized that Andy was quickly nipping at their heels in terms of ability – he was improving each week, while they were…languishing. Plus Andy was gaining popularity, while they were…maybe not. Andy may not have always been a stellar dancer, but he was definitely not fading into the woodwork like either of them. As for Len – he’s just a horrible human being. That’s the conclusion I’ve reached.

The Award for Person Most in Need of A Mirror….and a new lamp….and a glimpse at his Birth Certificate: Mark Ballas, for not only wearing his hat (with what looked to be a penis on it) cocked to the side like he’s all thug, but for wearing hammer pants and having gauges in his ears; (Dis)Honorable Mention: Will.i.am – same reason.

Heidi: Really dude?? You’re pushing 30 and you’re totally a white boy born and raised in London….and not the ‘hood portion. Justin Bieber…who is what? Eight years younger than you? He looks stupid as hell in those outfits and he’s a kid. You, are an adult. And I totally kept thinking you had a penis on your hat. At least Will.i.am always looks stupid – you come to expect it. But Mark, you’re a good looking dude (I prefer blondes, but I can acknowledge it ) – why’d you have to ruin it with bizarro costuming even when you’re not performing??

Courtney: I feel like Mark thinks it’s still 2001 and Sum 41 and New Found Glory are still ruling the airwaves. And Lord knows what was going through Will’s head – that whole performance looked like a robotic bar mitzvah for MC Hammer, held in outer space. Mazel tov, I guess?

The Blow Harder Award: To the Female Pros Dancing Around Stevie Wonder and blowing him kisses.

Heidi: Yo….Stevie is BLIND. Just sayin’.

Courtney: Poor Stevie probably just wondering why there was a sudden breeze. Read more..

Dancing with the Stars Season 16, Week 8 – Who’s Dancing What…and When?

Well, the stupid Twitter vote of the week…is just that. Another stupid twitter vote. Seriously – old men obsessed with Twitter a couple years AFTER the fact = DWTS Producers. So, this week, you get to vote for a dance style for your favorite couple. You get to choose one of these six dances: Afro-Jazz, Disco, Flamenco, Hip-hop, Lindyhop and Charleston. Once again, the producers have made it totally unfair and lopsided by including one dance that most of the pros likely know nothing about….and one dance that one of the contestants does for a living. Yeah, that’s fair. So, sure, let’s take a show that already has a lot of built in unfairness and make it even worse. Afro Jazz in this seasons Bhangra – but somehow I don’t think it will work out nearly as well unless people decide that Derek and Kellie get Afro-Jazz. How about we give the crazy style to someone who already has a lot of advantages – Zendaya. Why do I suspect she’ll end up with the Lindy? Or the hip hop? Not that that will necessarily benefit her this time around.

Anyway, this week’s dances include trios, which actually worked out pretty well last season. I think, this week, Aly and Mark pretty much hit the jackpot. I think Aly will have no trouble with Jive and will likely be fine with AT. I expect Kellie will also do well with both her dances, although Derek is totally bummed that the V Waltz is only a minute and 6 seconds – how does one “connect” in that amount of time. Expect more crap from Carrie Ann “I hate all women with great bodies” Inaba. Of course, it does sound like Derek has a whole theme going that he “hopes” these judges will get. Good luck on that one, buddy. Probably get crap from Len this week too. I think Jacoby will do great with the Paso, but the V. Waltz?? Trouble. Zendaya? Fine and dandy on Salsa but the Foxtrot?? Probably good on that as well, but I don’t think she was quite as lucky as Aly this week. Not that it will matter.

Well, Derek and Kellie went third last week and Zendaya went last, so with my dance order I’m going to guess that they actually play fair and move Zendaya back to the middle. Which means I’ll be wrong, but it will be worth a shot.

Zendaya and Val
Dancing 1st
Foxtrot
Salsa Trio with Gleb
Voting # 1-800-868-3406

Sean and Peta
Dancing 2nd
Tango
Jazz Trio with Sharna
Voting # 1-800-868-3407

Jacoby and Karina
Dancing 3rd
Viennese Waltz
Paso Doble Trio with Cheryl
Voting # 1-800-868-3412

Ingo and Kym
Dancing 4th
Foxtrot
Jive Trio with Lindsay
Voting # 1-800-868-3403

Kellie and Derek
Viennese Waltz
Paso Doble Trio with Tristan
Voting # 1-800-868-3401

Aly and Mark
Dancing 6th
Argentine Tango
Jive Trio with Henry
Voting # 1-800-868-3408

A few pics from @dancingabc on Instagram…