Dancing with the Stars Power Rankings | Pure Dancing with the Stars

DWTS13 Week 4 Power Rankings

To begin, I’d like to thank the judges for screwing themselves, the couples, and us for starting the evening off being far too kind with their scores for Chynna – and thus throwing a wrench into tonight’s scoring, which was downright wacky. Seriously – on a night that had the potential to be reeeally good, the judges managed to turn everything into an absolute joke with some of their feedback. Thanks, stooges.

Aside from that nonsense, I actually thought everyone (with the exception of maybe Chynna) did pretty damn well. Was it cheesy? Of course. But that was half the fun of it As for my rankings, though – aside from my top 3, I have absolutely no effin’ clue who will go home. Literally, I’ve been staring at the scores and my notes for 15 minutes and I’ve changed my mind about 15 times. Thus I’d like to claim a rather large margin of error :-P

1.) Ricki & Derek – Ok, I will admit – I don’t think this tango was 10-worthy. 9-worthy? Definitely. But I guess on a night like tonight, with the bar set so low by Chynna and the judges clearly adjusting their scoring to compensate – I can SORT OF understand how they ended up with a 29. Doesn’t mean I think it’s right Technique-wise, I do think this was the performance of the night – this was so damn CLEAN. Performance-wise…I don’t think it was Ricki or Derek’s best dance, but I do kind of appreciate that they didn’t go the over-the-top, full-on cray-cray route in trying to embody the theme of Psycho. The silhouette part at the beginning & end was a subtle, visually-striking homage to the movie. With the points spread being so vast, and with the judges making it quite clear who their favorite is…I think I’ve got a better chance of firing a pistol into the night sky in fury and somehow hitting Carrie Ann in LA than these two do of going home.

2.) JR & Karina – I give up. What is the judges’ problem with JR??? Seriously – the dude is probably the most likeable guy in the universe. I’m talking basket-full-of-puppies likeable. Aaaaad…*drumroll please*…the dude can actually dance, too. And look like he’s having a good time doing it! I’m baffled as to why it pains them so much to praise him, let alone score him properly. I’m getting this bad feeling that if the judges don’t shape up, JR could be Ralph all over again. Let’s hope I’m just being paranoid I actually thought this dance was strong in technique, entertainment, and theme – it stayed true to the theme without being over-the-top, much like Ricki & Derek’s tango. Not sure what Carrie Ann was smoking when she said it “didn’t need to be funny” – clearly that bimbo hasn’t seen The Pink Panther. What, was she expecting a repeat of his heart-wrenching rumba last week? SMH. AAAANYWHOOOO…they got the pimp spot and the 2nd highest score of the night, and I can’t imagine there aren’t some fans that are as angry as I am who are voting their fingers off right now in protest. I look forward to these two making CAI eat her words next week…and I hope she chokes on them. Read more..

DWTS13 Week 3 Power Rankings

Ok, so “best year of my life” night wasn’t quite the emotional trainwreck I was thinking it would be – I was actually pleasantly surprised at the honesty and vulnerability of many of the dances. However, I was also just downright confused by some of the dances. Let’s just get right to it, shall we?

1.) JR & Karina – Say what you will about JR “playing to people’s emotions” (ummm…didn’t everyone kinda do that tonight, to a certain degree?), but he was the only one tonight that I though even came close to having the proper hip technique, and he made me feel the emotions behind his dance more than anyone else. Was Karina dancing around him? Maybe a bit, but I did see him actually attempting to “be there” for her at every turn – reminded me a lot of Chris’ rumba last season. I wish Karina would have given him a bit more to do, but I think the way he let his face “talk” in the dance was captivating. The guy has had a heartbreaking backstory – let him tell it without writing it off as “playing the sob story card” (actual tweet I read – some people really do have garlic in their soul like the Grinch!). Emotion aside – it was still a pretty damn good rumba. I grow to love JR more and more each week, and based on what I’ve seen from him so far – I can only assume the best is yet to come Thankfully, he tied for the 2nd highest score, and had probably the most memorable dance of the night, so I’m sure we’ll get to see what he has in store for us!

2.) Ricki & Derek – Admittedly, I thought this one was overscored at first – but then I watched it again and realized that they were the ones who best combined choreography, technique, storytelling, and connection to the dance tonight. I felt like they actually managed to tell a story through their movements, and the choreo wasn’t overly dramatic – it was simple & stripped-down. Technique? Eh…I thought JR & Chynna both had better technique than Ricki, but hers wasn’t bad. The rumba’s a tricky dance, so I’m not really expecting any of the couples to really nail it at this point. Was a little thrown by their song at first – all I could think of was Mia’s drug addiction piece from SYTYCD – but by the time they got through it and told their story, I kinda got it. High score of the night, and a pretty good rumba in a sea of less impressive ones…I’d say they’re pretty safe, especially with such a drop-off in points further down the scoreboard. Read more..

DWTS13 Week 2 Power Rankings

And tonight, ladies & gentlemen, is a prime example of why week 2 is TOO DAMN EARLY TO DO THE JIVE! Ranting post to follow later this week

Tonight was a disappointment, overall. Disappointing performances, disappointing judging, disappointing scoring – just…meh. Seem like the quicksteps fared SLIGHTLY better than the jives with the judges, but not by much. This cast is “surprising”, no doubt – suprisingly mediocre thus far, minus a few standouts. And you already know it’s gonna be an off-night when the judge that annoys me the LEAST is Bruno

1.) JR & Karina – It’s nights like tonight that make me wanna kick Carrie Ann in the mouth…and kick Len in that old sausage he was going on about earlier in the night. Could those two have looked like bigger assholes after this jive??? The whole crowd, plus Bruno, is on their feet & cheering – and these two look like someone just commented on their mother’s bedroom prowess. Lighten the f*ck up, ya killjoys. This was the only jive of the night that delivered on both execution & entertainment for me – JR was the only celeb of the night that really kicked and bounced correctly, and managed to look like he was having the time of his life while doing it…and Karina did, too! Carrie Ann’s hung up on the “lift”? Good grief, I’ll swallow a lift or two if it means I actually get to see a decent jive! Len’s pissed that there was “too much Lindy”? Who the hell cares, since there was also some legit, well-executed jive in there, too? Honestly, with some of the truly unremarkable dancing I saw tonight – I’m more than a little pissed that these two got so hung-up on stupid stuff. But thankfully, 22 is still pretty damn good (given that their still tied for 2nd highest score, and the points spread drops down to 17), and JR was given the pimp spot for a reason As long as these damn judges can resist the urge to storyboard, I can still see him easily taking the MBT this season.

2.) Ricki & Derek – High score of the night, and a fun jive. But the best? Errr…maybe not. It seemed awfully slow to me, and Ricki still seems to be working on getting comfortable out on the floor. I was also a little thrown by how sexual it was – I’m no prude, but I’m also not used to jives being so…saucy. ;-) Content-wise, it may have been a litttle fluffy, but I’m completely disregarding content right now because tonight, content did not necessarily equate greatness. But I will give Ricki props for being bubbly and excited, which is more than I can say for some of the other couples tonight. Not a ton to say here – other than if they keep working hard and improving week after week (and the other couples continue to only do marginally well), they’ll likely make it to the final as well. Read more..

DWTS13 Week 1 Power Rankings

So ends the first night of competition in season 13 I must say, tonight was…interesting, as far as premieres go. On the downside, the bad performances seemed to outweigh the good ones; on the upside, even some of the bad ones were still pretty entertaining! The judges are still under the influence, the new stage still looks like a tripping hazard, and Brooke…is still the same old ditzy Brooke, just with a fancy new hyphenated last name. But on with the rankings!

1.) JR & Karina – I know I had already pegged this guy as the one to win this season, but man – I still got a little slack-jawed (and misty-eyed) watching him tonight :-) He’s extraordinarily fluid in his movements – he was the only one I saw who really finished his lines tonight – and wasn’t in a hurry to do so. Everything felt like a piece of cake to him, while the level of difficulty impressive. And Carrie Ann was right – JR was one of the few tonight that managed to connect both with the dance AND their partner/the audience. I find that highly impressive at this stage of the competition, when so many celebs can only either dance or connect, and not do both. He did seem to get a bit thrown off by some of the fancier turns, but considering how fluid the rest of the dance was, it’s not a huge deal. Personality-wise, I can honestly say I’m inspired by how positive and grateful JR is in his attitude towards life – in a society where we place so much emphasis on looks, it’s incredibly refreshing to see someone who can be secure (and even crack jokes!) about a very traumatic and disfiguring injury. Not only do I feel inspired, but Karina seems inspired as well – it’s nice to see the smile she had with Ralph last season, back again even brighter this season :-D I think these two have a long, hard, gorgeous journey ahead of them on the show…which I can’t wait to see! Read more..

DWTS13 Preliminary Power Rankings, Part II

So we had some good discussion over part I of my rankings, where I predicted the couples who wouldn’t make it past the halfway point of the show. Now let’s move onto the good part, shall we? Here’s the couples I see advancing further in the competition…

6.) Kristin Cavallari & Mark Ballas – Do I think Kristin will be a great dancer this season? No. But I do think she’ll be at least an ok dancer, and having Mark will likely keep her in the competition until at least the midpoint of the season – provided he doesn’t make an ass of himself the way he did last season. He may have gotten away with it because Chelsea was a good dancer and he could rely on some inflated scores from the judges, but I don’t think he’ll have the same safety net with Kristin – she seems like a nice, very pretty girl, but not the same sparkling personality that Chelsea was and likely not as good of a dancer. I think Kristin will be more on-par with a Melissa Joan-Hart or a Shannen Doherty – nice enough, and an ok dancer…but won’t make much of an impact. As for fanbase – we saw how well The Hills/Laguna Beach fanbase came through for Audrina, and I daresay Audrina is probably going to end up being the better dancer of the two…so I don’t think she can rely much on the MTV crowd for an assist. Mark’s fanbase (and some less popular contestants) will probably keep her afloat for a little while, but up against more vibrant, popular couples? I don’t think she’ll have the juice. Read more..

DWTS13 Preliminary Power Rankings, Part I

It’s time once again for me to dust off my crystal ball and attempt (often in vain) to predict who the winners & losers of the season will be Most of you are probably familiar with the power rankings, but if you aren’t, here’s a quick run-down: I do a power ranking after each performance show that ranks the couples from most likely to stay to most likely to go home – it’s essentially a prediction of who’s going home and who’s got staying power. And kids, please – keep in mind that it’s not based solely on scores, or popularity, or running order, etc. It’s a complex formula of many factors – fanbase, dance ability, entertainment value, choreography, scores, yadda yadda yadda. And before the season starts, I like to do a “preliminary” ranking – a prediction that just takes into account what we know about the couples right now, without ever having seen them dance live (rehearsal videos don’t count – those can differ drastically from the final product!). Make sense? Keep in mind that this is just my opinion – differing ones are welcome and great to discuss, and there are no right or wrong answers So let’s start with places 12 through 7 – the couples that I don’t see lasting past the midpoint of the season.

12.) Ron Artest & Peta Murgatroyd - I really want Peta to stick around for at least a few weeks this season to show us what she can do, but unfortunately, I’ve got a lot of reservations about Ron…and it kinda stinks that Peta’s so new that her fanbase is likely not going to be able to compensate for a lack of support on Ron’s behalf. First of all, the physical problem: Ron’s 6’7″ and Peta’s 5’7″, so even with heels on, Peta’s gonna have quite a bit of height to make up for. It’s not impossible (ask Cheryl, who at 5’4″ partnered 6’7″ Rick Fox somewhat effectively in season 11), but it’s not necessarily easy or visually-pleasing, either. Ron’s an athlete, so that might help a bit – but not all of the athletes that have done the show have been natural movers (Clyde Drexler comes to mind). Now the greyer area: Ron’s never been one to hold his tongue, and he’s infamous for rather erratic behavior. He’s come a long way since the infamous Pacers/Pistons brawl, but he’s still kinda wacky…and I’m honestly not sure whether that’s a boon or a burden when it comes to fanbase. He’s well-known, but I’m interested to see how many people he’s turned off with his antics. Another potential problem: from the few videos I’ve seen of he & Peta so far, I’m not picking up a lot of chemistry. I get this feeling this could be a rather awkward pair to watch interact. On top of that, I’ve been hearing murmurings that Ron has been showing up considerably late for practice, and has only wanted to practice for an hour or so at a time. A lack of commitment this early in the season? Sounds like a harbinger of doom to me. I really want Peta to stick around, and I’m hoping Ron proves me wrong…but I’m just not optimistic. Read more..

DWTS12 Finale Power Rankings

Well, I guess I should be used to the blatant “scoring with an agenda” that the judges have every week now, but not gonna lie – I still get pissed when I see routines that are roughly equal scored with such disparity. Thank goodness tonight’s show was only an hour – I doubt I could have watched any more of the nonsense from the judges. Anywho…the first round of dances was just “meh” for me, and I enjoyed 2 of the 3 freestyles (I’ll let you guess whose I didn’t enjoy) – so I guess tonight wasn’t a complete wash. But it definitely paled in comparison to other finale nights of previous seasons. I felt like the dancing this time last year (the finale of Nicole, Evan, & Erin) had a much higher level of entertainment value. But anyway, on with the rankings – I’m gonna do it in reverse tonight, starting with who I think will nab 3rd.

3rd place: Chelsea & Mark

They may have been overscored to the point that they conveniently tied with Hines & Kym for the top spot, but if what I was seeing on Twitter was any indicator, I wasn’t the only one that thought so and I saw quite a high volume of angry Kirstie & Hines fans that were ready to vote until they passed out. First, that samba – ugh. I have a major bone to pick with anyone who tries to take “Hip Hip, Chin Chin” and “borrow” steps from the original, because really – no one holds a candle to the original. NO ONE. So as if to answer my call, karma conveniently bit Mark on the ass with this one…you know those “crazy arms” that Len disliked so much? Yeah, copied exactly from the original – 2:22 mark :-) Wuh wuh WUHHHH. Chelsea was good in this samba (and she looked very pretty tonight), but I don’t think it was a VAST improvement from her previous one, and really – it was hard for me to appreciate this dance when I saw too many attempts to be the original, and Mark doing his usual overdancing. Sorry kids. As for their freestyle – definitely not 30-worthy, IMO, when poor Chelsea looked like she was trying to remember where she was supposed to be at each beat. She got off-time in the hip-hop sections, was kinda clunky getting in and out of the lifts, and several times, I caught her just kinda standing there, waiting for Mark to pick her up. The energy was fun, yes, but compared to the other two freestyles, it didn’t feel as “inspired” – it just kinda felt like a routine to me. No great personal connection to the dance, like Hines & Kirstie. Perhaps it was the result of Mark making most of the decisions on this one – I’m led to believe it was his choice of music, since he, Derek, & Julianne did a routine to the same song as kids. Anyway – I just don’t think Chelsea’s got the fanbase to beat out some very passionate Kirstie & Hines fans. Or people who are all-around fed up with the nonsensical scoring and blatant favoritism from the judges towards her this season. Chelsea, you’re a sweet girl – but you have kinda gotten dealt a crap hand this season, with all the politics flying around. I think she’ll probably serve as a marytr tomorrow night, for all those opposed to the WTA dance.

2nd place: Kirstie & Maks

I felt so damn proud watching her tonight – I think Kirstie finally let go of the last of her hangups and really enjoyed herself I wasn’t crazy about her samba – felt a bit slow to me – but she seemed to feel pretty comfortable with it, and got back a bit of the same sass I saw from her cha-cha on the very first night. As for her freestyle – say what you will about the technique, the choreography, and the level of difficulty, but what I saw from her in this dance made everything else seem moot: I saw pure joy. She looked so happy and free out there – and honestly, some of those lifts? AMAZING. Not just for “someone her age” but for anyone – hell, Chelsea’s 22, and I saw her struggling with some of her lifts. Kirstie just seemed to float up into some of these “aerials” Anywho – if the busy signals my mom was getting while dialing in her votes were any indicator, Kirstie’s got the juice to overcome the ridiculous margin between her and Hines & Chelsea. In the end, I think Hines’ score will give him a bit of an edge, but really – I have to commend Kirstie for everything she’s done this season. She came in as the “fat actress” that everyone thought wouldn’t last past the first week, and here she is in the finale – dancing with such joy and skill that none of us thought possible. Her journey has been a pleasure to watch

The winners: Hines & Kym

I feel like these two were the perfect combination of skill & entertainment value tonight – they both connected to and technically nailed their dances. Loved seeing Hines take a page out of Romeo’s book and channeling Jiminy Cricket for his quickstep – the energy of it was so cute, even if he did seem to get out of step with Kym once or twice. I love how much he seems to really enjoy himself in his dances. Their freestyle was my favorite of the night – I have to commend them for trying 2 things that no one else has tried before for a freestyle: dancing to a marching band, and using more than one song (for those of you who didn’t catch it, the first half was the Jackson 5′s “Dancing Machine” and the 2nd half was “I Want You Back). I think it worked quite well for them – the energy was fantastic, and I think Kym really was smart to include so many basic ballroom steps in that freestyle (always a Len-pleaser ). I think when it all comes down to it, these two will have both the votes and the fans to take the MBT – but both Hines & Kirstie are winners in my book

And so ends my final ranking of season 12! It’s been a fun, crazy, bumpy ride, kids – who do you think will come out on top? And what do you think of the season as a whole? Be sure to tune in for the last round of all your favorites this week – Heidi’s “by the numbers”, Vogue’s post-elimination media, and of course – the last cheesecake until September Better get your fill, kids!

DWTS12 Week 9 Power Rankings

So how many of you still think us crazy bitches here at PureDWTS were smoking crack when Heidi predicted that all of this would happen…waayyy back on Wednesday?

Yes, I’m gloating on behalf of Heidi, and I don’t care – because honestly, I’ve never hoped she’d be wrong more than I have this past week. But in a show of true favoritism & wanton idiocy, the judges played into every single cliche they could that resulted in an extraordinarily padded score for Chelsea – and a brutal beating for Ralph, leaving him so far down in the basement in scores that nothing short of divine intervention could possibly save him from going home tomorrow night. Whoops…did I spoil the rankings for you?

1.) Chelsea & Mark – These two couldn’t possibly be any safer, and it’s not due extraordinary dancing – Chelsea was decent tonight, but nowhere near deserving some of the truly inflated scores that were being handed to her. Her Argentine tango had the potential to be good – if she wasn’t moving so damn gingerly. Wendy’s foxtrot had more impactful footwork than this! She captured the mood, yes; but the lifts looked a bit clunky & she never seemed to really hit any of the steps with the staccato that I like in a tango (perhaps she should have watched the playback of Mark doing the “salsa” last week for inspiration). As for the rumba…*shaking my head* Strike one: using a silly prop like gauzy fabric. Strike 2: using an “edgy” song from the Twilight soundtrack. Strike three: wearing character shoes instead of ballroom shoes – AGAIN. If that wouldn’t be enough to get her out, strike 4 would have been the complete lack of hip & leg action I saw from her. I might have enjoyed this more had I not been spoiled by great rumbas in the past by Jennifer & Mel B, which actually were 30-worthy. Their “winner take all” cha-cha was decent, and definitely more complex than any of the others – but I still feel like Chelsea’s legs stay pin-straight throughout the dance, and she lacks the characteristic bending & straighting of the knees. But none of this matters to the judges – they’ve made it abundantly clear that they want her in the finals, and so to the finals she goes. Pffft.

2.) Hines & Kym – Hines, god bless him, was the one true bright spot of the evening for me – and dadgummit, I cried with he & Kym after their Argentine tango! While I don’t think that tango was perfect (I’m gonna chalk it up to nerves due to Kym’s injury), he definitely schooled Ralph & Chelsea in what A. tango should look like – and Kym, god bless her too, soldiered through and the two of them actually managed to perform a routine that made me give a damn. It was definitely nice to see Hines back in the same fight mode that I haven’t really seen from him since his samba in week 3 Their salsa was definitely cute – and Hines is the master of staying on time and not missing steps. But like their A. tango, I don’t think it was perfect. Near-perfect, but not perfect – something about Hines’ face just made me think he wasn’t 100% in the dance. He definitely had the cleanest cha-cha – but I guess the judges would rather have complexity over cleanliness, which is why they chose Chelsea over him. I give up. I would have given these two the 15 points as the icing on the cake for their soldiering through what looked to be a very, very scary injury to me (this is coming from a girl who’s grandfather was a paraplegic for 10 months after a simple fall at home). I don’t mess with spinal injuries – this made my stomach churn even worse than seeing Evan land on his neck after a stunt in season 10. But I digress. These two are safe, thanks to some pretty damn good performances on an otherwise dismal night…and one very ridiculous points spread.

3.) Kirstie & Maks - I’m afraid I just don’t have a lot to say tonight about these two, other than “Did I miss something?” I don’t think Kirstie was at her best tonight, and I guess I’m gonna chalk it up to burnout – of the 4 remaining contestants, she’s the one that I still worry about most when it comes to endurance. However, the judges seemed to think she was fantastic, and much more so than Ralph – I just don’t understand it. She misses steps in her paso (which, on an unrelated note, seemed to end rather abruptly…anyone notice that?), and got a tad off-time in her Viennese waltz. Yet she still scores considerably better than Ralph, who I don’t think missed any steps. *shrugs* I’m beyond trying to understand it at this point. I definitely preferred her V. waltz to her paso doble, as it was actually pretty lovely, aside from the timing issue I saw a few times. Felt a little let down by her cha-cha - it felt like the same cha-cha she’s done twice before this season, and she still messed it up a bit this time Again, I’ll give her a break due to lack of energy, but I was counting on her to hopefully bump Chelsea out of the running for those extra 15 points…and she didn’t deliver. Luckily, she’s got the fanbase to pull her through, and a pretty decent lead over Ralph – she & Maks better step up their game in a big way, though, because both Chelsea & Hines are miles ahead of her in terms of stamina.

4.) Ralph & Karina – I should have known better than to think that the judges might turn over a new leaf and actually be nice to Ralph tonight…because the barrage of criticism they threw at him was downright sickening at times. No love for his Argentine tango, which really wasn’t all that bad – he may not have been 100% in the sultry “character” of it, but I daresay his technique was better than Chelsea’s, since he actually managed to get some impact with his steps. The judges went straight for the jugular on his salsa, too – I actually thought he had more energy and more entertaining content than Hines’ salsa did, but either the judges were blind to it or I was drawn to it more than the average bear, because it was lost on them. And Karina – god bless her for calling Bruno out on what I’m deducing was one very uncalled for lewd comment – had I been there, I may have needed to be put in a straight jacket after breaking that fool’s nose and then going for his gonads. Admittedly, his cha-cha was the weakest – but I knew that going in. The poor guy has never been great at cha-cha – he was facing a stacked deck going into this 3-ring circus of a “bonASS dance”. I wanted to shove a dirty sock in all three of the judges mouths as their sole words of compliment were “You tried so hard tonight!” before heaping praise on Hines. Made me sick. And now, he’s gotta face the music tomorrow night – and I’m sure the judges will all sit there, with their smug little smiles on their faces, and pretend to be disappointed that the poor guy is going home and that they’ll miss him – when in reality, they’re the ones to blame for his departure. Bravo.

And so ends quite possibly the most disappointing night of DWTS I have ever watched. Sorry to burst the bubble of any of you that had the time of your life watching tonight – because I was miserable for most of it, due to the blatant over & underscoring going on. I don’t deal with hidden (or in this case, not-so-hidden) agendas very well. But I’m gonna suck it up and go power vote for Ralph, in the event that there were enough Ralph fans as pissed off as Heidi & I were at how things panned out that are doing the exact same thing. Wouldn’t it be so awesome to watch the judges’ jaws drop if Ralph stuck around for yet another week? I know, I know…wishful thinking. But a girl can dream Fare ye well, Ralph…

DWTS12 Week 8 Power Rankings

Gee, funny what happens when you don’t have a specific “theme” night – you actually get some pretty good dancing, across the board! I don’t think anyone really “sucked” tonight – granted, there were no “perfect” routines, but I think all the couples stepped their game up quite a bit this week. The question is – are the judges strategically scoring in order to keep their favorites safe and get rid of the others? After tonight, I have no doubt in my mind that that’s exactly what they’re doing. Definite over and under-scoring going on. And it all makes me want to go back previous seasons, when there were definite ringers and we didn’t have mediocre dancing rammed down our throats as being 10-worthy. Hmph. On with it…

1.) Hines & Kym - I found myself laughing the hardest while watching Hines dance tonight – and unfortunately, I think I was laughing AT him, rather than WITH him. The poor guy got not one, but TWO completely silly dances tonight, and by the end of the night I’m fairly certain he felt like a complete nincompoop, especially with his teammates watching What likely soothed that blow to his ego was some definite overscoring from the judges. I’m sorry, but a 28 for a foxtrot that, in my opinion, looked kinda jumpy & flaily? Negative, ghostrider. MAYBE 26-worthy. Granted, Hines did seem to be having quite a bit of fun, but it doesn’t change the fact that his feet were bad, his arms were out of control, and he seemed to be a bit rushed at times. It was fun and it made me happy, but it was overscored…sorry, Steeler Nation. As for his instant jive…*sigh*. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched Hines try to muddle through that one looking like a little lost black/Korean leprechaun I give him points for effort, but when he wasn’t missing steps, he was barely moving his feet; and when he was moving his feet, he was missing steps. I guess I’m a bit spoiled, after that phenomenal instant jive Kyle did last season – seriously, go back and watch it on Youtube, then watch Hines’ and tell me with a straight face that Hines’ was as good or better than Kyle’s. I DARE you. Kyle was fearless and didn’t miss a beat. Hines…not so much. I do kinda feel for Hines, though – I worry that he may have peaked too early, and thus set the bar pretty damn high for himself…because these past few weeks, I’ve found myself going “He can do better than this.” Regardless of what I think, Hines has been Mr. Consistent this season (even if Hines’ consistent isn’t in the same ballpark as a J. Grey or Nicole “consistent”), and I doubt that’s going to change. Plus he’s got a pretty damn good cushion to keep him safe – guess your plot worked, judges. *eye roll*

2.) Chelsea & Mark – As much as I LOVED that Chelsea stood up to Mark at the beginning of the show and made it clear that his outbursts shouldn’t be reflected as her own opinions about the show, I think these two were overscored as well. Aaaand cue the “Mark hater!” accusations from the peanut gallery But peanuts, beware – don’t come out swinging if you aren’t capable of having a mature, logical argument. My trigger finger is comfortably rested on the “delete” button for those who chose to fling insults or try to tell people they’re wrong. Anyway…the waltz was a definite improvement, yes; but I have to agree with Len – the emotion was a bit over-the-top, and I could have done without the kiss…a kiss that early in the dance just says to me “I have nothing truly dynamic in my bag of tricks, so this is my one ‘Look at me!’ move!” It just reads as kind of desperate, and I would have preferred some sort of dramatic sweep across the floor or some well-executed spins from Chelsea instead. What I did see from her was quite pretty – she turns well and extends her arms very nicely. As for their salsa – let me put it this way: I know of no bona fide salseros that move with such staccato as Mark. Didn’t the judges even say later on that salsa was supposed to be a relaxed, FLUID club dance? Mark was not moving fluidly at all, and it just made it hard to pay attention to Chelsea with him moving so spastically – plus it seemed to throw her off a bit. Yes, she did all her moves and threw some good attitude into it; but I kinda felt like she was just going though the motions of her routine, like in her head she was like “Ok, what’s next? Ok turn and look and arms and head and turn again and…” without any regard to the music. I guess I just kinda hoped she could connect better with the music. But hey, it doesn’t really matter what I think, because the judges have also done a quite nice job of shielding her from elimination as well.

3.) Kirstie & Maks – As much as I love Kirstie, I would be lying if I said I didn’t think her A. tango was a bit overscored. I was definitely impressed that Maks threw in a couple of lifts and it didn’t seem to phase Kirstie; they were smooth & well-executed. I thought she kept up pretty well with the footwork – but there were a few moments of uncertainty, and overall I think the routine was a bit elementary. Ditto for her salsa – I think she kept up semi-well for most of it, but it was also choreographically the least complicated of the 3 salsas we saw tonight. She did do a pretty damn good job of getting into character, though – she smoldered in the tango and was sassy in the salsa. But here’s my biggest problem: she’s starting to get a bit lost in the shuffle to me. She’s neither failing miserably nor truly excelling, so I find myself with a bit of writer’s block with her – I just don’t have a whole lot to say. What I can say, though, is that the judges clearly seem to want keep her around at least through this week (and possibly to the finale), with the way they’re scoring her. The question is: do they love her as much as they seem to love Hines & Chelsea, or could she become a sacrificial lamb should Romeo or Ralph bust some serious moves next week? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see next week, since she too has a pretty good cushion from the judges, on top of her huge fanbase.

4.) Romeo & Chelsie – Poor Romeo certainly seemed like one of the judges’ favorite punching bags tonight. He just couldn’t seem to catch a break – he does a tango that, in my opinion, was cleaner than Hines’ foxtrot and every bit as good as Chelsea’s waltz – and he gets scored lower than both, and Carrie Ann just can’t help but nitpick about some “iffy” footwork. EVERYONE tonight had some moments of iffy footwork – it was just a matter of whether the judges chose to call them out on it or conveniently look the other way. I thought his lead in the tango was great, and his head snaps were incredibly crisp and on-time. He looked great during the pivots. When it came to the instant dance, I have to say - I feel like Romeo was really the only one tonight that actually seemed to connect to the music, rather than just bulldozing through it. Did he miss steps in his salsa? Of course. But did it feel like he was actually trying to dance to the beat? YES. Plus the kid just seems to be having a blast out there – if I were in a salsa club and saw him grooving, I would definitely ask him to dance. But alas, the judges just don’t seem to be feeling the Romeo love – by the way they scored this week, it looks to me like they’re definitely setting us up for a Ralph & Romeo bottom 2 tomorrow night. Which sucks, because I feel like Romeo has probably improved the most of all the contestants left this season. I think due to scoring, he’s at least cleared to make it to the semi-finals; but just watch, next week – he will be at the bottom of the scoreboard, regardless of how well he dances. God I hate storyboarding.

5.) Ralph & Karina – I knew Ralph was going to have a rough night if he did indeed chose to dance – and I have to give him mad, mad props for doing so despite his injury. However, what I didn’t expect was a near-complete lack of sympathy from the judges – both in scores and in critiques. Aside from a few tiny moments of what had to be intense pain, I really didn’t notice any huge missteps in his Viennese waltz – he was still moving fluidly & extending those gorgeous arms of his. And that smoldering pose at the end?! MAGIC. I thought 25 was a decent score, but it wouldn’t have killed the judges to toss in an extra point for dancing injured or something. Ralph was a SOLDIER out there tonight. As for his instant cha-cha – cute, valiant effort by both Ralph & Karina, and like Romeo, Ralph actually seemed to let go and really have fun out there. It was as if he just said “Y’know what? F*ck it. I’m just gonna enjoy myself…except for the pain in this leg.” But man, the judges just seemed to love rubbing salt in Ralph’s wound after that dance – a fleeting moment of “nice try” followed by a barrage of “The technique wasn’t there, you got off time, yadda yadda yadda yadda…” It was all just too much for me, especially since they were soooo understanding of Kirstie’s fall & shoe malfunction…and that mess of a jive. But hey, I guess that’s what happens when you aren’t one of the judges’ “chosen ones”. Now I did a quick calculation of the numbers…and either I’ve done it completely wrong, or the judges really and truly screwed Ralph this time. I mean, REALLY screwed the poor guy – I’m not sure his huge fanbase, which has saved him from the bottom several times now, could come close to overcoming it. And then there’s my looming suspicion that Ralph may decide to withdraw tomorrow night – I know he said it’s an injury that is supposedly going to heal in a few days, but when you only have about 5 days to crank out 2 more dances, is it going to be enough? And will it be fully healed in time to deal with the demanding 4-dance schedule of the finale? I just don’t know…part of me is praying for a miracle, that Ralph’s fans manage to pull off the impossible; and part of me is kinda wishing he’d bow out gracefully and not risk injuring himself further. It all just makes me very, very sad

Well, kids, I guess that’s all I have left to say for tonight. What did you guys think of tonight’s scoring?

DWTS12 Week 7 Power Rankings

*yawn* Well, I guess that about sums up “ballroom greats” night for me. Which is unfortunate, because I was kinda excited about seeing some of my favorites, like Arunas & Katusha and Riccardo & Yulia. Not sure what it was (maybe Donnie’s bad jokes, maybe some ugly costumes, maybe some lackluster performances), but overall I’m just left feeling a little blase about tonight. And even less enthused about the scoring, which leaves the door WIDE open for a surprise elim. Yeah, those team scores? All they serve to do is make the points spread EVEN CLOSER…which means literally ANYONE could go home this week. Even those at the top of the leaderboard. Are you scared yet? You probably should be. Pick up that phone while I break it down…

My take on the team dances: Overall, a big disappointment for me, from both teams. Not too surprised that they tied – although it puts the couples in kind of a bad position, since it only serves to lessen the gap in points between them. I thought Team Chelsea had the more difficult choreography & more interesting pattern changes, but they were out of sync at several points; I thought Team Hines’ choreo was a bit elementary and not quite as exciting, but they did have the cleaner, more synced-up execution of the two teams. Neither team really “thrilled” me. Overall, I doubt the team dances are really going to make a huge impact on voters this week, other than the fact that it might spur them to vote, period. And vote they should – because this funky points spread this week is a breeding ground for a shock elimination!

1./2.) TIE: Ralph & Karina and Hines & Kym – They’re both tied for the highest score, and I bet they’re both gonna get a lot of votes this week. Ralph had a comeback week (just like I said he would ) with his quickstep, which I thought was pretty damn cute – entertaining concept, the right choreography, and pretty good execution…I say “pretty good” because Ralph did seem a bit tired to me tonight, or maybe he was just dancing carefully to avoid injuring himself. Either way, I don’t think it was 10-worthy, but at this point the judges seem to be doling out 10′s so randomly these days that I can’t bring myself to care very much. Hines is Mr. Consistent, so I imagine he’s consistently getting votes - even though this tango had the same not-100%-there feeling that I got from his Viennese waltz last week. For me, he kinda alternated between moving crisply & confidently and kinda looking lost and unsure. And for the first time, his frame kinda looked a little limp to me – not usually a problem Hines seems to have. As for the team dances – valiant effort by Ralph, and he did better than I thought he would, but was still kinda awkward; Hines did about as well as he did for his first cha-cha, although he seems to have lost a bit of the sparkle that he had the first one – or maybe the novelty has just worn off for me. Who knows. I’m gonna cautiously call these two safe, because I think they’ve got the fanbase to stick around despite being in shock elim territory.

3.) Kirstie & Maks – Eh, this jive could have been worse – she could have both fouled up footwork and been just completely boring to watch (you listening, Bristol? ). Thankfully, she and Maks somehow managed to make what could have been an absolute disaster of a jive halfway entertaining. Sure, they futzed around without doing any jive for far too long at the beginning, Kirstie completely lost track of her footwork in the side-by-side sections, and overall, there really wasn’t a whole lot of jive here. Normally, I’d rip this routine a new one – but tonight was a wacky night, and I’m feeling forgiving, since they still managed to entertain me. I would liken this routine to Niecy & Louis’ Argentine tango in season 10 – not a lot of technique or choreography, so they relied on comedy, and it worked. Probably the weakest link on Team Hines, which isn’t saying a whole lot when Kendra wasn’t much better. And really – Kirstie is the master of PR, and seems to be making more people fall in love with her each week, whether she does great or terrible. Being that they’re tied with Romeo & Chelsie for the lowest score, I think fans are going to be spurred to vote even harder…so I’m gonna call these two safe as well.

4.) Chelsea & Mark – As terrible as this sounds, a part of me ALMOST wants to see these two get sent home, just so Chelsea doesn’t have to deal with Mark’s seemingly volatile moods and in order to give Mark a chance to cool off. Mark’s behavior has definitely raised my eyebrows this season, but man, I was downright appalled at his behavior tonight. Chelsea looked mortified as he rather defiantly rattled off the list of paso steps he used in their routine, and I could have sworn he made an obscene gesture as he & Chelsea walked to the celebraquarium. But it’s Chelsea who’s getting scored, not Mark, so I’m going to try to focus on her. Like pretty much everyone else tonight, I don’t think she was 100% in the pocket of her routine - like I predicted, she seemed to have trouble with the “aggressive” feel of the paso, and like Hines, I feel like she was more in her head than in the dance, and ended up looking more like she was counting steps rather than getting into character. And choreography-wise, I don’t think the judges were so much upset with the lack of paso steps in the routine – because I actually saw plenty – but just the overall “feel” of the dance, since it was once again Mark being “edgy” and he should know by now that “edgy” and “modern” don’t usually sit well with the judges. And on top of that – the dancing was just ok. Definitely not Chelsea’s best, but she did look like she was really trying. I would say she was probably the MVP of Team Chelsea, but I felt like Mark was once again outdancing her and seemed to be powering her through the moves – which is unfortunate, since I think she’s good enough on her own that she doesn’t really NEED to be powered through them. Now when it comes down to it – I think these two are a possible “shock elim” tomorrow – possibly moreso than Romeo & Chelsie, since the latter at least has the boon of being tied for the lowest score, which may spur voters more. I think fans may falsely assume that Chelsea’s ok based on her 4-point lead – and normally they would probably be right, but because of those damn team scores, that 4 point lead is basically peanuts. These two getting eliminated would not shock me at all, based on the numbers.

5.) Romeo & Chelsie – I think Heidi & I simultaneously tweeted something along the lines of “Romeo got the pimp spot? Iiiiiinteresting.” So it makes me wonder if he’s starting to gain momentum in the votes – if so, he could be safer than we think. But based on this performance alone? Oy…he could be in trouble. This was a non-event of a samba, just like I had feared – no hip action, low energy (save for a few portions of side-by-side gyrating), and basically Chelsie dancing circles around Romeo. And it stinks, because I’ve really, really enjoyed Romeo’s performances the past few weeks. Really & truly, I think they deserved their score – hell, I would even say they were a bit OVERSCORED. The judges were being a bit kind tonight, IMO. Had this been a regular week, I don’t think it would have gotten more than a 21. As for the team dance – meh. Just not very memorable for me, really. Anywho, he’s tied for the bottom score, but I quickly did the numbers, and without giving too much away (saving it for Heidi’s post) – he doesn’t have to do much in order to catch up to Kendra. He could EASILY surpass her in order to stay – as long as he has the votes. Hell, if he’s really doing well, he could even surpass Chelsea. He’s tied with Kirstie for the lowest score, but since she’s such a favorite, I don’t think she has anything to really worry about. So the most likely scenario? It’ll come down to Romeo &…

6.) Kendra & Louis – You’ll have to forgive me – my DVR froze at the beginning of this routine, and I only caught the last 15 seconds or so of it. What I saw wasn’t necessarily terrible – but it wasn’t necessarily good, either. Just…odd. Awkward & uncomfortable, but somehow still going through the motions. I dunno…I’m not gonna really rely on my opinion of it too much, because I think this week will all come down to who’s got more fans. A 1-point difference during a regular week? Meh, doesn’t mean much. A 1-point difference during a 2-dance week? May as well be NOTHING. I think she’s at a big disadvantage this week, because she’s got 2 people below her in scores (and less of a sense of urgency for people to vote hard for her), and probably doesn’t have enough votes to surpass the next person up (in this case, Chelsea). And do I need to mention the gigantic target on her back from the past, oh, 3 weeks? I’m wondering just how many Sugar & Spice, Dmitra, & Chericho fans are bitter and are giving their votes to other couples now – other couples that aren’t Kendra & Louis. In general, I think the viewers may be getting tired of her as well – she’s reigned in the verbal diarrhea, which very well may have been part of her appeal, and is getting a bit…boring. I wouldn’t say she’s for sure going home tomorrow (I’m bracing for a shock elim, myself)…but I would say she’s definitely in danger. Hopefully….lord knows I cannot handle another “Bristol”!

Ok gang, how did you guys feel about “ballroom greats” week? Did you feel as apathetic about everything as I did, or were you thrilled? Is Kendra’s number FINALLY up this week???? SOUND OFF!!!

DWTS13 Week 4 Power Rankings

DWTS13 Week 3 Power Rankings

DWTS13 Week 2 Power Rankings

DWTS13 Week 1 Power Rankings

DWTS13 Preliminary Power Rankings, Part II

DWTS13 Preliminary Power Rankings, Part I

DWTS12 Finale Power Rankings

DWTS12 Week 9 Power Rankings

DWTS12 Week 8 Power Rankings

DWTS12 Week 7 Power Rankings

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