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PureDWTS Season 19, Week 6 – Power Rankings

I apologize for this being so ungodly late, but between all of the media and other posts we had going up earlier, a sh*tastic day at work, and some of you just generally driving me to drink, I decided that these rankings could wait a bit.  Side note: if you wanna talk about the team dances next week, go here; if you so desire to vote for the dance styles and songs that the couples are dancing in week 7 (I think), this post has directions.  I’m pretty partial to the idea of Tommy doing a Viennese waltz to “I’d Rather Go Blind”, but to each his own ;-)

After two hours of Pitbull the peanut-butter eating, Spanglish-speaking naked mole rat judging, I still have no idea was “DALE!!!” means.  Oh well – I guess when it all came down to it, he was a halfway decent judge; he saw right through the showmance front that Vajanel put up, and actually knew the names of a few salsa steps to compliment  Alfonso on.  Doesn’t mean I ever want to see him as a judge again, though ;-) But hey, Mr. Worldwide needed a plug for his gig hosting the American Music Awards, so I guess that’s why we got him this week…

…the judging seemed kinder this week, so I wonder if there was a huge backlash from some of the out-and-out cruelty we saw last week and the judges were told to ease up a bit.  Still think Alfonso & Sadie (and now Bethany) are getting nitpicked, while Janel, Antonio, & Tommy are getting babied a bit; Lea and Mike are a toss-up each week.  Will be  interesting  to see if the dynamic of the judging panel changes at all with Len back – wonder if we’ll start to see more complaints about “messin’ about”, and Julianne will suddenly become the “nice judge” now that Len the critic is back.

Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan – kinda stinks that he didn’t last longer, but if he had to get eliminated, at least he went out on a high note.  His jazz was probably his (and Allison’s) best dance yet.  Not sure Allison made a strong enough showing to warrant getting asked back as a pro again next season, but we shall see…

1.) Alfonso & Witney – Perhaps not the most “strictly salsa” salsa we’ve ever seen on the show, but I can’t blame Witney for sneaking in some hip-hop to play to Alfonso’s strengths.  Thought he could have used a bit more hip action, but then I have to wonder if Witney tried to keep the steps a bit tight & boxy in order to baby his groin injury.  Still a very enjoyable routine – there was some complex stuff in there, and Alfonso managed to stay on-time and in-step with Witney. He’s still the showman of this season, for sure – and with the way the crowd goes crazy after his dances, I think he’s gonna be around till the end. :-)

2.) Bethany & Derek – For all the whining & complaining I saw about how “horrible” a tango song “Jealous” is, you would have thought we had told you that Bethany & Derek were dancing to a song by the Freecreditreport.com band.  And what did I say? It would work – and it sho ’nuff did.  I think this may have been Bethany’s strongest dance yet – very clean, very confident, and very focused.  Like Carrie Ann, I too found myself thinking Bethany looked a little like Nicole Scherzinger out there – maybe it was the hair.  Loved that she was able to conceal her one stumble so well and keep going; also loved the clever little accents in choreography that Derek put in to compliment the music.  I think Bethany’s really peaking at the right time.

3.) Sadie & Mark – Another round of applause for Mark for managing to navigate successfully the seas of propriety according to the Robertson clan, while still choreographing a proper rumba that was lovely to watch :-) Reminded me a lot of Shawn’s rumba in season 8 – very PG, and more tender rather than sultry.   I just can’t get over how LOOOOOONNNGGG Sadie’s legs look – could have used a bit more hip action, but considering that even the best rumbas we’ve seen on the show often lack any sort of mastery of hip action, I think she did alright.  I was ready to be mad about her wearing flats, but then I saw that she was still putting her weight on the balls of her feet and was still doing the footwork as if she had heels on, so I wasn’t too upset.  Hope she can loosen up a bit more to handle dances like Argentine tango, though – not sure you can really go the “sweet ‘n’ tender” route there.

4.) Lea & Artem – I just don’t quite know what to make of Lea anymore: she has these stellar days where I think she could give even Alfonso a run for his money; then she has days where she just kinda loses steam and regresses.  Tonight was more of a regression, I’m afraid – it started out strong, but about 20 seconds in she seemed to lose a little bit of steam and the posture problems came out.  Also seemed like she was taking steps that were far too big and it made her rush a little bit.  She seemed like she was having fun, but got a little pooped by about the :45 mark.  Wish Artem would a) put his shirt back on, and b) stop trying to push Alfonso as the one she has to beat/needs to outdo.  Let Lea compete against her personal best; the minute you start trying to outdo another contestant, sh*t kinda goes south.  Ask Gilles :-P

5.) Janel & Val – Here’s the problem with having both salsa & samba on a night like tonight: unless the pro REALLY takes pains to make sure a samba looks like a samba and a salsa looks like a salsa, they kinda end up looking about the same – and this was definitely more of a “samsa” or a “salba” than a true samba, so I can’t blame Pit for getting confused and thinking it was a salsa. The bounce was nearly absent – wayyyy too flat for a samba, and Janel did seem to be grabbing for Val whenever she could, as if she wasn’t 100% sure of what she should be doing.  As for the shirt removal at the end – errr, what? Just seemed like kind  of an afterthought, like “Oh, we’re almost done – better take my shirt off!” Just left feeling rather puzzled about the whole thing – not really a satisfying samba, and with much ado about showmancing in the package, I would have thought there would have been a whole lot more heat.  I  do think them landing in jeopardy was a bit of a warning, though – viewers may not be connecting to them as much as others.

6.) Tommy & Peta – If we’re being honest, this was probably the weakest dance of the night – Tommy seemed to forget at least 1/3 of his choreography, got off-time, and looked a tad lost the whole time.  If Mike had done the same routine, he would have gotten 5’s for it – maybe even 4’s.  But because Tommy is Tommy, and Julianne (sorta kinda) has a (small) crush on him (sometimes), they’re awfully kind and give him 7’s.  Kinda want to slap Julianne – she was on his case last week about wanting more, and then he gives her this (which is NOT more), and she praises him excessively.  I honestly thought he was much better last week, and this was a pretty low point.  Still think he’s got a few more weeks left in him, but I’m beginning to think  he’s reached his saturation point.

7.) Mike & Emma – Whether you’re  a Mike fan or not, I think it’s safe to say that tonight was his best dance yet – still pretty remedial when you compare it to what everyone else (except maybe Tommy) is doing, but Mike handled it well and seemed to stay on-time and in the pocket.  I really appreciate how clever Emma can  get when it comes to choreographing an intricate dance for a less-skilled partner – this is the 2nd time we’ve seen her take a guy with 2 left feet and have him execute a respectable Argentine tango. Sure, she was doing the bulk of the work, still – but she made it BELIEVABLE.  Everyone asks why Emma keeps getting “crappy partners”? Maybe it’s because she actually knows how to handle them.  And to those asking “Who the hell is still voting for Mike???” – clearly you don’t know the demographics of this show very well.  ;-)

8.) Antonio & Cheryl – Even though I think Antonio did his best dance so far this week, I still feel like he’s fading into the woodwork.  He seems to be relaxing a bit (though he’s still a pretty awkward mover, and has a tendency to really rush the tempo of a song), but personality-wise, I feel like we know NOTHING about him.  We’ve seen shades of all of the other couples – Mike’s racing, Sadie with her family, Alfonso with his family, Tommy wandering around in the desert – but we don’t really know anything about Antonio.  And I guess that’s where I have the biggest disconnect with him, and it makes me wonder if others are having the same problem.  Now with all the celebs-with-questionable-fanbases pretty much gone with Jonathan, I have to wonder if people are really picking up the phone for him.  My gut says “maybe not”, but I’m definitely not confident about it.  Oh well – at least Cheryl seems happy. :-)

So week 6 is a wrap – what did you guys think?

October 21, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 19, Week 7 – Team Dances REVEALED!!! *SPOILERS* & POLL

It’s super early, and I’m tired, so I’m just gonna cut right to the chase – the teams for the team dances are…

ETA #1: Updated with songs for both teams.  Methinks this should level the playing field a bit…

ETA #2: Added two polls to see how things stack up…

Team Alfonso (song: “Time Warp” from Rocky Horror Picture Show):

Alfonso & Witney
Sadie & Mark
Antonio & Cheryl
Tommy & Peta

Team Bethany (song: “Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora):

Bethany & Derek
Janel & Val
Lea & Artem
Michael & Emma

It sounds like the team dances are freestyles once again, and they both have Halloween music.  One team has “Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora.  This is all I know right now.

My thoughts? The teams are far more evenly-matched then they have been in previous seasons, but Team Bethany probably has the edge by virtue of having 2 trained dancers and Derek; on the flipside, I think they also ended up with the weakest dancer currently left – Mike, so he could be a bit of a liability.  Funny how one team ended up with 3 male celebrities & 1 female celeb, and the other team ended up with 3 female celebs & 1 male celeb.

Discuss.

I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 19 Week SIX!! Let’s discuss tonight’s show! (Spoilers)

I can’t believe we’re already at Week 6 – and we’ve had a whole bunch of mediocre dancing with a few standouts.

Again, DWTS wants us to pimp the livestream so….you can view Lacey’s Stream on our site, just click the link.

Once again, comment to your hearts contents, as long as you remember the show night rules. Some of you were VERY bad at this last week. If I see any repeat offenders this week, you might find yourself on moderation. I’m serious…the one line comments with no context were ridiculous. Use dancers names – not everyone is reading in real time. It was bad enough that Courtney couldn’t get on the dashboard.

  1. Our server gets totally hosed when people sit at their computer and click “refresh” constantly. Post a comment, then walk away for five minutes so that others have a chance…and so that Courtney and I can actually post on the site. :-)
  2. THIS SITE IS NOT TWITTER. Do not post like you are on twitter. You get one warning and then I put you in time out. :-) We need context and content. Believe it or not there are a lot of people who don’t watch the east coast feed of the show, so they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about when you post a comment that says, “Boy, that sucked.”  If you want to say “____ and ____’s dance was not good at all, crappy choreo” that’s fine. That would be context. It is good. :-D  Remember, if you post five one liners in five minutes, you’ve broken rule number 1. ;-)

 

OKAY, our first spoilers of the night are that the Team Dances are next week!! And Paso Doble is on the table. :-)

Feel like I’ve seen this opening dance before…like, every week. Gee, look how fast those male pros disappear.

Okay, Tommy is SAFE…while Janel and Jonathan are in jeopardy. I don’t expect Janel to leave tonight, but I do think this is a harbinger. Although…the DWTS twitter did tweet about a “shock”.

I guess they just couldn’t bear to give Jonathan ONE 9?? That was a pretty damn good dance.

Anyone still want to argue that Val and Janel aren’t playing showmance?? I mean it was only their whole package, after being put in jeopardy. Anyone ready to deny they aren’t trying to get the shippers on board? (Both TPTB and Val/Janel themselves?) ::::crickets::::

Got distracted and didn’t see all of Janel’s dance – will have to go back to see the whole thing. Read more..

October 20, 2014 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

PureDWTS Season 19, Week 5 – Power Rankings

And this is the week that the hammer drops and suddenly the judges are “over” some of the dance crushes they have had so far this season – particularly Julianne and her crush on Tommy.  Hate to say it, but you only have yourselves to blame, guys – when you gush over the same people doing the same rudimentary stuff week after week, you can’t expect them to improve…and then it’s kinda lame to suddenly say “I’m bored, I want more.” But in the same token, you also don’t have to be over-the-top mean – and I think they got that way with a few of the couples tonight.  They seemed to lose sight of the fact that these were NOT the regular pairings, which is a tough enough row to hoe, and on top of that, they were all doing these bizarre dance styles that none of them are extensively trained in.  Was this REALLY the best week to drop that hammer, stooges?

So I guess the asshattery from Julianne, Carrie Ann, and Bruno made me thankful for Jessie J, who at least seemed to try and find the positive in everyone’s routines while still giving a useful critique – she is a judge on The Voice UK, after all, so I think she felt obligated to be constructive.  Also quite impressed with her ability to not only sing live (!!!), but also do some dancing at the same time.  As I said on Twitter – it’s so rare to find singers that actually sing live and don’t just lip sync, let along singers that sing live and dance as well.  The only other singer I can think of off the the top of my head that also does both is Usher…so she’s in good company.

So I guess all this talk about the judges tonight brings me to pose this question to everyone: do we really need Len? Next week will be the 4th week out of 6 that Len hasn’t been at the judges’ table – and I’m not really noticing his absence.  I’m almost wondering, what with his sorta-kinda farewell speech on the finale last season, if he originally was not gonna come back at all this season – and TPTB somehow guilted him into doing a few shows just to maintain some consistency.

But anyway – no elim tonight, but there is one next week, based on last week’s votes, this week’s scores and votes, and next week’s scores.  As our longtime readers know, the more total points given out = the smaller the margins = the greater the likelihood of a “shocking” elimination.  It really becomes a battle of the fanbases – who’s getting the votes vs. who isn’t.  I don’t care if you’re at the bottom of the leaderboard – in a massive-points-dump-to-calculate-elimination scenario like this one, the playing field becomes a lot more level.  To give you an idea of what crazy sh*t could happen – Sabrina was voted off the all-star season in a week where she was only 1/2 point away from a perfect score…but the elim was based on multiple weeks of scores and votes.  Vote, vote, vote, kids – even if your favorite is in the lead.

1.) Alfonso & Cheryl (Witney) – Aaaaand we’re back to nitpicking Alfonso to death, I see – can’t let him get too confident now, can we PTB? Once again, he dances FLAWLESSLY – and in a style that’s totally different than anything we’ve seen from him so far. He nails the technique (those heel things he was doing at the beginning are insanely difficult – the bf actually got a hairline fracture attempting it during a showcase routine), he nails the drama (loved the dust – just that added drama every time he clapped his hands), and he nails the partnering…and all Carrie Ann and Bruno wanna talk about is the distance between his neck and his shoulder??? Seriously, you stooges – what’s the complaint gonna be next week? He’s moving his ears in a strange way when he’s dancing? His pupils are too dilated? He’s flaring his nostrils too much? Because this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous. I guess I see what they’re trying to do – trying to level the playing field, make it seem like Alfonso isn’t running away with this season (even though he really is), but there’s gonna reach a point when even the most dim viewers are gonna say “Ok, that’s just being petty.” And sorry, but 8’s for a dance that good are just ASSININE…especially when they specifically say Sadie missed a few steps in the beginning of her routine, and give her 9’s across the board. She earned her 9’s – but so did Alfonso. Oh well – at least he still gets THUNDEROUS applause after every dance he does. :-D Read more..

October 14, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 19 Week FIVE!! Let’s discuss tonight’s show! (Spoilers)

I will not be able to watch DWTS Live, but I may get a stream – we’re having tornadoes here and, obviously, I may have to leave the computer.  Cross your fingers.

Again, DWTS wants us to pimp the livestream so….you can view Lacey’s Stream on our site, just click the link.

Once again, comment to your hearts contents, as long as you remember the show night rules. Some of you were VERY bad at this last week. If I see any repeat offenders this week, you might find yourself on moderation.

  1. Our server gets totally hosed when people sit at their computer and click “refresh” constantly. Post a comment, then walk away for five minutes so that others have a chance…and so that Courtney and I can actually post on the site. :-)
  2. THIS SITE IS NOT TWITTER. Do not post like you are on twitter. You get one warning and then I put you in time out. :-) We need context and content. Believe it or not there are a lot of people who don’t watch the east coast feed of the show, so they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about when you post a comment that says, “Boy, that sucked.”  If you want to say “____ and ____’s dance was not good at all, crappy choreo” that’s fine. That would be context. It is good. :-D  Remember, if you post five one liners in five minutes, you’ve broken rule number 1. ;-)

I’m here!!  Thanks god for the men in the opening number. Was starting to get worried about yet another bump and grind. I’m no prude, but that gets old after a while.

On the plus side, maybe this was Jesse J’s one performance for the night and her only bias is someone else singing her song while Janel dances.

God Val, put on a shirt. You ain’t all that. Same to you, Artem.

Antonio is dancing first??  He’s screwed.

Okay, that wasn’t fabulous, but it wasn’t quite the trainwreck I expected. DT says that he and Allison got along really well.

Team Badie!!!  How hilarious. I think I would kill Mark if he made farting noises every time I bent over. :-)

Bethany and Mark Hip Hop…I think I liked it. I’m not sure actually. I like the Hip Hop to be a bit harder I think. But she has the right look, the make up.

I love how Derek hangs over the balcony to hear what the judges are saying. He’s so involved.

Gee….I wonder who they’re saving their 9’s for…. :::gag:::

That’s two weeks in a row that Bethany has gone early.

Wow…I’m sensing an agenda.  Jonathan wasn’t that bad, I didn’t think.  Maybe I’m missing something, but I thought that was his best dance yet.

Like how, before Jonathan danced, that Mark straight up called them out for hosing him on scores. So, what’s the deal? Is someone they want to go far doing poorly in the votes so they need to widen the margins?? I guess we’ll see when Janel dances. :-)

Speaking of Janel – saw a bit of her routine on the red room cam and it looked like a freestyle with a bunch of lifts.

Alfonso freakin’ killed it!!  Sure, he can’t do it like Derek did with Kellie, but he’s not a professional. Fantastic! I loved it!! Jules is going to hose him on the score though.

WTF?!?!?!?  8s??  AREYOUKIDDINGME!!!

Hahaha…Derek on All Access telling Sadie not to watch Janel and Artem’s package. Then told the kids to look away from the screen during the dance. LOL  Derek: “Is she rubbing him? That’s SO inappropriate.” In Derek’s ‘I’m being funny’ voice.

Thanks god for Julianne – and I guess she would know Burlesque. Anyway, she made up for Beth’s 8s with that one. :-D

Okay, perhaps they’re going to finally give Sadie a score she deserves?? That’s where all the 9’s and 10’s are??

Uh oh, another storm line….

I can’t help but like Michael. :-) Man can’t dance but he’s fun as hell.

Loved Tommy as well.

Sadie KILLED it, but why do I think she’s going to get hosed yet again in scores??

Yep…hosed yet again. You couldn’t throw the girl one ten?? WTF??  Derek calling out the judges – you go boy.

Yeah…Janel and Val don’t play at showmancing. Nope. Nosiree. No showmancing here.

I love Lea, but if that dance scores better than Sadie’s I’ll be pissed. And then I’ll be worried she’s not getting the votes.  Seriously, it was a good dance, but it wasn’t markedly better than either Bethany or Janel.

Okay, we can count on Julianne again to be a downer. In this case that might be a good thing.  If CAI goes higher than 8 I might have to fly to LA and slap a bitch.

So, CAI seriously thinks that Lea’s dance was better than Bethany’s and as good as Sadie’s?? She’s been on crack all night. She should consider rehab.

October 13, 2014 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 19, The Partner Switch!! Who Got Who? GMA Announcement Blog

Yep, almost missed this. Someone turned my alarm off. :::cough::: Which means I have to take a shower right now and risk missing something again. Gotta go to work, ya know. Real job. :-)

Anyway, watch this space…. :-) Out of the show, now I’m impatient. :-) I guess I’ll go comb out my wet hair. Isn’t this exciting?? :-)

Okay, they just said “8:21″ – I might have time to get dressed. :-)

Here we go…

(I didn’t realize Tony comes in miniature)

Bethany – Mark
Lea – Val
Sadie – Derek
Janel – Artem (Burlesque)

Alfonso – Cheryl
Antonio – Allison
Jonathan – Peta
Michael – Whitney
Tommy – Emma (Mambo)

So, How does the reality compare to our Predictions, keeping in mind that our “predictions” were based on real research?

Question for you: Are TPTB finding a way to eliminate the spammers or just doing whatever the hell they want?? Because the numbers I saw, even with a huge margin of error, didn’t result in these pairs. Not all of them anyway.

Question 2: Giving Janel Burlesque seems like a pretty strong PIMPAGE move. Agree or disagree??

October 9, 2014 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

PureDWTS Season 19 – Partner Switch Spoiler??? *Court Plays P.I.*

Random fact about Court: I’m actually really, REALLY good at doing internet sleuthing.  Case in point? I found out my father got remarried when one day, out of morbid curiosity, I decided to see if he had a marriage license on file at the Palm Beach County Clerk’s Office.  That revelation sure made for an interesting phone call.  I also once located the divorce decree of an ex I had that claimed he had never been married.  Lesson learned: do not lie to Court, because Court will go digging for the truth. But I digress…

…so I started hearing murmurings last night about Derek being spotted at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport.  Some fans were wondering if he had to travel to meet up with his switch partner.  So I thought to myself, “Why not see if we can figure this out using just the internet?” So armed only with my iPhone, I set about the mission of finding out just who Derek’s partner is for the switch.

Based on Sadie’s instagram post yesterday, I knew she was going to be home in West Monroe, Louisiana for the week.  So my obvious question: was Derek flying to West Monroe to meet up with Sadie? This contradicted the data Heidi & I collected from Topsy, which clearly had Lea in the lead to partner with Derek.  So I decided to see if the evidence was there to support Derek actually being paired with Sadie.  Enter Twitter: at about 8:56 EST last night (7:55 CST, which is the time zone Dallas-Ft. Worth is in), a girl named Betsy tweeted a cute picture of her dad on a plane with Derek:

derekonplane

And according to my GateGuru app (which is amazeballs, you should totally download it if you fly at all – if for no other reason than to find the Cinnabon in any airport), there was a flight from Dallas-Ft. Worth to Monroe Regional airport last night, departing at 7:55 PM:

gateguru1gateguru2

So the timeline fits: Betsy’s dad could have spotted Derek across the aisle after boarding, said “Hey man, my daughter digs ya.  Mind if I get a pic?” before they even started taxiing, sent it to his daughter before putting his phone in airplane mode, and she could have posted it to Twitter by the time the plane was in the air.  Now I know some of you hardcore naysayers will say “I’m sure there were lots of flights departing DFW around 8 pm, Courtney.  How do you know he was headed to Monroe???” Well, without getting to stalker-y, one of the other pics Betsy posted to her Twitter timeline was her in her cheerleading uniform.  Not gonna post it here, but her t-shirt (fairly) clearly says “West Monroe Rebels”:

westmonroe

Now, what are the odds that Derek would be at DFW, on a plane around 7:55 PM, seated across the aisle from a guy from West Monroe, at the same time that a flight was leaving that airport for Monroe, LA, and NOT ACTUALLY BE HEADED TO MONROE, LA? Infinitesimal. If the truth comes out that he wasn’t headed to Monroe last night and Sadie is not his switch partner, I, Courtney, will post a picture of Maksyl in their most schmaltzy, fauxmantic pose as my Twitter profile picture for an entire week.  That’s how confident I am in my research. You can call me Swagnum, P.I. 8-)

So now bears the question: if all of our research pointed to Derek getting Lea, then why is he with Sadie? Here’s a few explanations Heidi & I came up with:

Possibility #1: A lot of the #DWTSLeaDerek tweeting was spam, and whatever method TPTB are using to count the tweets managed to weed it out.

Because we here at Pure are not made of moola, we can’t afford the fancy schmancy tech that can recognize and dismiss spam Tweets – but it’s entirely possible that DWTS can afford it and utilize it.  And believe you me, there was A LOT of spamming going on, across the board on all partnership combinations.  There’s a reason why I only tweeted for the switch once per day, and I tried to switch up the wording each time.

Possibility #2: Those who were using the ABC website to vote for the switch were voting a LOT differently than those manually tweeting out their picks.

I tend to think this one isn’t as plausible, because there would have to be  some REALLY incongruous voting going on in order to negate some of the massive tweet totals we were seeing.

Possibility #3: Val was unable to travel to Monroe to rehearse with Sadie this week.

Similar to the same scuzzlebutt that may have prevented us from seeing Meryl & Derek do the Argentine tango last season, perhaps Val just wasn’t able to rehearse out-of-town this week.  Can’t imagine why, but dammit PTB – if this was the case, it  should have been communicated up front.  Just like last season.

Possibility #4: Somebody put their foot down and said “No way!” to a Val-Sadie partnership.

Probably the most controversial explanation, but it’s one I could see happening.  As we have all seen, Sadie comes from a very conservative family – and Mark has done a fantastic job of not overstepping any boundaries of propriety with Sadie so far this season.  Ditto for Derek and Bethany – the two pros with underage partners know how to toe the line.  Now Val, on  the other hand – we’ve seen the fauxmancing and handsy-ness with Janel, and Sadie has actually said that she’s “intimidated” by Val.  Now remember, this was the family that was totally ready to walk out on a multimillion-dollar contract with A&E when they threatened to pull Phil from the cast of Duck Dynasty – you really think they would have any qualms with pulling Sadie out of a celebrity dancing show if they felt strongly enough about her NOT being paired with someone they didn’t feel was appropriate? And judging from the main demographic of DWTS (middle-aged, conservative-leaning women), do you really think DWTS wants to risk losing viewers if Sadie walks? Plus, Sadie’s actually a decent dancer, and her name & Alfonso’s are the two I see mentioned the most on social media.  So I guess the point I’m getting at is – if Mama & Papa Robertson didn’t want Sadie dancing with Val, then I doubt TPTB would be dumb enough to push the issue…and would probably happily accommodate their desire for her to have a different partner.

Possibility #5: TPTB don’t give a sh*t about the voting and are doing as they please.

Because…yeah.

So what does that mean for the rest of the partnerships? I’m guessing that Bethany is still with Mark, because that was the highest vote-getting combo of all (not that it matters to the PTB, who ignored the truly highest vote-getting combo of last season); that leaves Artem with Janel and Val with Lea.  Keeping it “all in the fam”, y’all.  Lord knows what’s going on with the female pro/male celeb partnerships – doesn’t Antonio rehearse in Memphis? Anyone see Witney, Emma, Peta, or Allison at the Memphis airport? :-P

Well, all will be revealed in 12 hours, anyway – be sure to watch Pure tomorrow morning as Heidi will be live-blogging the announcement of the switch pairings, starting at 8 AM EST.  I’ll be manning the PureDWTS twitter account, and Vogue will be holding down the fort over at PDH and the PDH Twitter account.  Happy happy happy :-D

October 8, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 19, Week 4 – Power Rankings

Color me NOT surprised that the “Raise Your Paddle!” thingie was a total clusterf*ck :-P I gave up after trying and failing to score both Janel & Jonathan…and  having my internet spin its wheels nonstop.  Ain’t nobody got time fo dat. Funny how almost all of the viewer scores basically echoed what the judges gave – kinda have to wonder if they just deferred to that when the server was so overloaded that hardly anybody was able to vote.  Hmmm.  How did you guys fare with the “Raise Your Paddle” voting? I would love to know if everybody had such as easy time as I had ;-)

So the partner switch is next week.  Wondering who got who? Go check out Heidi & I’s prediction post.  Sort-of (but not really) spoiler: nobody’s getting sent home next week, and the person  that gets sent home in week 6 will be calculated based on the scores and votes from weeks 4 & 5; so this ranking is kind of moot, and could totally change based on what happens next week.  But I’m gonna do it anyway :-P

Overall, feeling a bit let down by “most memorable year” week this season – not necessarily by the dances themselves (although there were some real stinkers), but just generally by how cold the judges came off.  Maybe it’s just me, but they seemed a bit more heartless than usual…in tears one minute, then just kinda beating up on the couples the next.  No me gusta.  But god bless Betsey for going out on the high note with such an adorable dedication to her daughter, and being the classy, easygoing gal that she is and thanking everyone for a great run.  You will be missed, you cutie you :-)

1.) Alfonso & Witney – *sighing as I cross yet another item off my DWTS Bucket List* So glad I get to rhapsodize about how fantastic Alfonso is and how nights like tonight are exactly WHY I HAVE WANTED HIM ON THIS SHOW FOR YEARS :-D Alfonso, if you’re reading this, I hope you realize just how much joy you brought to this frigid, jaded blogger’s heart tonight, as well as to the hearts of millions of Carlton Banks fans across America – and even if it might not have been your favorite or most memorable year, I can’t tell you how much it mean to us to see that dance :-) I had a craptacular day – woke up with a migraine, struggled to do office work from home, fumbled with blog stuff, and just generally felt defeated – but this dance brought TEARS to my eyes, with how happy it made me :-)  As always, the musicality was there – he didn’t waste a single beat, and made me appreciate accents in the music that I hadn’t even noticed before; and then the synchronicity – the way he was just locked in with Witney on some of that side-by-side work with a thing to behold – reminded me of Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers doing a big dance number.  And man, just the EASE with which he tackles every movement – he doesn’t just “do” the moves; he LIVES AND BREATHES them.  Just…aggggghh.  I can’t.  To quote Mini Alfonso from last week “Tens across the board.” 8-) Couldn’t have asked for a better dance.

2/3.) TIE: Sadie & Mark and Lea & Artem – The two pleasant surprises of the evening for me :-) First of all, I will reiterate: I am  SO GLAD that Sadie got Mark as her partner this season – I don’t know that any of the other male pros would have thrown caution to the wind and donned the Uncle Si beard and hunting gear with as much gusto as Mark, and his quirky choreography seems to suit Sadie well.  They just WORK together.  Thought their routine was both samba-appropriate and Sadie appropriate, and she handled the technique of the samba well – and it was just FUN to watch, and was a good use of Uncle Si, Willy, & Jase as props ;-) As for Lea – WOW.  That’s literally all I had written in my notes about her contemporary.  I think her performance was a turning point in the evening where everything went from “meh”, to “ok, NOW you have my attention!” Given her background, it makes sense that she would excel at contemporary; but given some rather subpar performances we’ve seen from her the past two weeks, I guess I wasn’t expecting a whole lot.  But she managed to handle the technique flawlessly, as well as connecting to the dance emotionally.  And seeing what I’ve seen of her possible fanbase in the switch-up voting – I now see her as a possible contender :-) Just hoping she can hold onto her momentum from this week and handle her next dance as handily and she did this one…

4.) Bethany & Derek – Could there have been more rumba content in this? Sure.  But do I think that they ever really set out to do a perfect, Len-pleasing rumba? No.  I think they achieved what they aimed for: to tell an inspirational story about overcoming bullying, and in that respect, they hit a bullseye.  I’m thinking going the more contemporary/rumba fusion route was a calculated risk, and while some of you might be moaning & groaning about “lack of content”, I doubt anyone can really argue that she was completely connected to the message & emotion of her routine, and for the first time so far this season, I feel like we really “saw” Bethany.  And ultimately, when it comes down to what we take away from this week and what we forget – I’m willing to bet a lot of viewers remember this routine over some with more content, but less emotion.

5.) Janel & Val – Basically the polar opposite of Bethany’s rumba: lots of content, but little emotional connection for me.  Sure, she did a lot of rumba, and she handled it pretty well (although I almost think there was a tad too much content – could have used a bit more light & shade), but I didn’t feel as emotionally shaken by her routine as some of the others we saw tonight.   Unfortunately not a whole lot else to say – other than  go read Heidi & I’s partnership prediction post, because there’s some interesting revelations in it about who may and may not be getting the votes…and Janel falls in the latter category.  Possible “surprise elim” fodder in the coming weeks?

6.) Tommy & Peta – Oh, Tommy :-P Even when you’re screwing up, you’re still making me smile.  This was the first week I think we saw a few cracks forming in an otherwise pretty flawless run Tommy’s had so far – jive is unfortunately not a very laid-back dance, and so I guess I’m not totally surprised that Tommy seemed to get a bit off-time and winded.  But even when he was off-time and losing steam – it was still somehow fun to watch and kept me entertained.  Thought the choreography with the handcuffs was pretty clever, and as always, Tommy seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly…and that’s all I can really ask for from him :-)

7.) Antonio & Cheryl – I think  this samba was the most unintentionally hilarious dance of the evening :-P Mama Spence and I were DYING watching the “look at me, I’m trying to be sexy but it’s really coming across as dorky” bopping down the stairs, the “ooh look at mah sexy body” rubbing on his own chest, and the “teehee, gymnastics r smexy” botched somersault. Oh wow…somebody get me a cold shower…cause I’ve overheated m’self cracking up! He handled the samba very slightly better than Jonathan, but that’s unfortunately not saying much – still a lot of stiffness and not much of a feel for the rhythm.  And worst of all – I still feel like I’m not connecting to him AT ALL.  He’s just not coming across as super-personable or relatable – he’s just kinda…there.  But people seem to be  voting for this guy, so I’m not sure that we’re getting rid of him anytime soon…but hey, if we get more unintentionally hilarious performances like this out of him, I might be able to tolerate him awhile longer :-P

8.) Michael & Emma – He may not be the best dancer, but dammit – I like him…and I think America does, too, because he’s still here.  Actually thought the judges were a tad harsh on what I would consider to be one of his stronger dances – it actually started off quite strong, and aside from a few fumbles in the middle, he kept up with it and didn’t do terribly.  Thought he had one of the more heart-rending stories of the night – you could definitely tell how much he misses Dale, and how his win at Daytona was a bit tarnished by the fact that Dale wasn’t able to share the thrill of victory with him.  And  dammit, Emma must be  doing something right – because he IS improving, even if it’s not by leaps & bounds.  Still think our buddy Mike has a few more weeks left in him…

9.) Jonathan & Allison – Hate to say it, but I think Allison may have screwed her partner on this one a bit, as well – and now that we’re in week 4 and I feel as though I’ve given Allison a fair shake to prove her worth as a ballroom choreographer, I feel as though I can say this: I don’t think this whole “Let’s take a contemporary dancer and let them teach ballroom!” philosophy is really working out on DWTS.  Because not only did I see Jonathan’s weaknesses in the samba tonight – I saw Allison’s, too.  Her technique was reminiscent of Lacey’s ballroom technique – it just kinda made me go “yikes”.  Not only that, but I agree with the judges that the dance was pretty repetitive and one-dimensional – lots of the same steps, repeated over and over, with a bunch of non-samba (hip-hop) peppered in.  No, Jonathan did not master the technique, and he was really, really stiff; but after looking at Allison – I have to wonder: could she even teach him the proper technique? I love Allison as a contemporary dancer; I love her when she’s collaborating with Derek; I love her as a person – but I’m not loving her as a pro on DWTS.  And unfortunately, I’m not sure that Jonathan could really afford to have another weak dance like his week 2 cha-cha.  It’s hard telling how this week’s votes/scores and next week’s are going to cobble together, but I do think there’s potential for a (slightly) shocking elim come week 6…and I think Jonathan might be a primo candidate.

Ok, so what are your thoughts on “most memorable  year” week? And what couples are you hoping to see in the switch next week? :-)

October 7, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 19 Week FOUR!! Let’s discuss tonight’s show! (Spoilers)

Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I expect tonight will be a big ole cluster f@#k. :-)  Again, DWTS wants us to pimp the livestream so….you can view Lacey’s Stream on our site, just click the link.

Once again, comment to your hearts contents, as long as you remember the show night rules.

  1. Our server gets totally hosed when people sit at their computer and click “refresh” constantly. Post a comment, then walk away for five minutes so that others have a chance…and so that Courtney and I can actually post on the site. :-)
  2. THIS SITE IS NOT TWITTER. Do not post like you are on twitter. You get one warning and then I put you in time out. :-) We need context and content. Believe it or not there are a lot of people who don’t watch the east coast feed of the show, so they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about when you post a comment that says, “Boy, that sucked.”  If you want to say “____ and ____’s dance was not good at all, crappy choreo” that’s fine. That would be context. It is good. :-D  Remember, if you post five one liners in five minutes, you’ve broken rule number 1. ;-)

Interesting, Janel going first and Beth going 4th. I expect Bethany to have a much lower score than 40 (this show is a GAME after all, and we must have DRAMA), but we’ll see if that same curse holds true for Janel – she’s rather pimped. Although it’s getting hard to tell if it’s actually TPTB doing the pimping, or Janel herself. :-D

By the way, Courtney and I made some predictions on the Switch up pairings, check it out and see what you think!

What the hell was going on during the couples announcements?? Kept cutting to shots of the big ball. :-)

Janel and Jonathan are both safe right off the bat. Betsey in jeopardy.

Janel gets all 9’s, including one from America – for a jerky rumba. Which is hilarious (not) since about 3 out of 25 of my followers commenting said they could actually vote. Then it said I already voted for Jonathan when I certainly didn’t. Bastards.

Well, I’m baaaack!! I got to vote for Betsey and Bethany. Gotta disagree with Jules – I think there was plenty of content in that rumba. But who cares. She’s probably going to be safe next week, since her fans managed to get her a higher score from America, plus that song/dance was so emotional. That’s unusual tonight, after all. And if I hear anyone say they didn’t connect with Bethany, I may cut a bitch. :-)

Ahhh….I love Michael. But his dancing is not good. I gave him a high score anyway, to counteract those judges. :-) Bill Engvall in the house, and teary eyed.

Someone want to explain to me why, when I vote for Bethany and Derek, the “related video” shown after I vote is Vajanel?? Shades of Meryl and Maks style pimpage which pisses me off like you wouldn’t believe.

Oh, I love Lea – and this is when I remind you all that I’ve been saying Lea can DANCE. :-) America is crappy. :-)

Really, America – now you’re overscoring Antonio?? Geez. This does make me wonder if he will last longer than I think, though. Although I thought he was going home tonight and that’s clearly not the case. :-)

Tommmmmyyyyy!!! No, you’re not leaving me. No. He’s in jeopardy though. :-) That jive wasn’t great…but I just love him.

WTF?? And you people were worried about Julianne?? WTF do CAI and Bruno have against Sadie?? Give the girl some damn 10’s!! Or does that not fit tonight’s agenda?? That dance was more than 1 point better than Janel. Stingy M’fers.

What part of “THIS IS NOT TWITTER” do some of you not understand. Do I have to start banning people??

Okay, we have Michael, Tommy and Betsey in Jeopardy…..SPOILER….

Next couple safe is: Tommy and Peta

Betsey and Tony are eliminated. She had a great run and she very graciously thanks everyone.

October 6, 2014 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

PureDWTS Season 19, Week 3 – Power Rankings

Well, I guess the euphoria of having my dream contestant on DWTS would finally wear off – and this was the week that it happened.  What a three-ring circus of nitpicking, wonky scoring, and overall chaos.  From what I saw from the judges – crack is whack, and so is meth, heroin, and bath salts, apparently.  Julianne wins the “twatwaffle of the night” award, for generally just being a bit of a cranky b*tch – so in other words, she was filling in for Len.  Hooray.

Sorry, but the wrong person went home – Randy may not have been the best dancer, but he was not nearly as bad as the score he got last week OR this week…but hey, the judges need their scores & critiques justified, so they had to screw him somehow.  Absolutely no reason that he should have been forced to go first TWO weeks in a row, basically making a mad dash from the opening  number to the quickchange; and to add insult to injury, this week he had to do it after being told he was in jeopardy.  Classy, Wade. I just might have to spoil a bunch of sh*t early to get back at you…

…as for Kevin, I actually think he turned out being a pretty decent judge.  I liked that he didn’t seem like he was out to really critique anyone, and tried to see the positive in everyone’s routines.  Also enjoyed his humor, and thought it was kinda cool how he seemed genuinely moved by Bethany & Derek’s dance.  He can come back anytime and enthusiastically yell out scores ;-)

1.) TIE: Bethany & Derek and Janel & Val – So the first two perfect 40’s of the season.  I feel one was deserved; the other? Meh. Felt like an awful lot of emphasis was placed on Janel & Val’s struggles with switching the routine, there was a lot of futzing around at the beginning of the routine, and then the score was almost given as a consolation prize for putting up with the crap.  Sure, Janel handled what she was given decently well – she should, given her background – but a 40? For wiping Val’s abs with a towel? Sorry, not buying it.  But hey, they seem bound & determined to make Vajanel happen, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.  As for Bethany – I had been worried, after hearing that her ankle injury was still very much an issue; but thank the lord Derek was able to choreograph something that was true to Singin’ in the Rain while being feasible for her to execute.  God bless umbrella work that doesn’t go awry :-) And Bethany kept up, and for the first time, she really seemed 100% invested in the routine, which is what I’ve been wanting from her since the first week. I don’t see either going anywhere for awhile, but it should be interesting to see who fares better next week… Read more..

September 30, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!