DWTS9 Week 5 Power Rankings

For the first time this season, I really don’t have much to say about tonight.  Despite having two of the most emotionally-charged dances (and an energetic group dance), my overall feeling for tonight is “blah” – which is why I really had a hard time with this week’s rankings.  Probably the hardest yet, because very few people really “stood out” tonight – and the paso dobles seemed to really get lost in the shuffle amongst a sea of Argentine tangos.  Oh well…on with it…

1.) Joanna & Maks – Yes, they did flub…but it will probably make this tango that much more memorable and will also get a lot of sympathy votes (as if Heidi didn’t drum up enough for sick Derek via Twitter! ;-) ).  And they had the virtue of being in the “money spot” (which I don’t think was accidental…) Joanna was actually quite good in the tango – she had the heat, and was the only one that seemed to get the characteristic “brush” of the feet against the floor.  This was probably my fave routine of hers yet – it just would have been a heck of a lot better with Derek in it! Although, oddly enough, Maks & Joanna seemed to get along pretty well…maybe the eastern European connection? :-P But no worries, Heidi…there is only one man for Joanna, and it starts with a “D” and ends in “Erek Hough”…

2.) Donny & Kym – (WARNING TO DONNY FANS: Hatchet job in process…don’t bother reading on if you get offended easily!) Now, I did say last week that it was pointless to talk about Donny’s dancing because he’s gonna get a ton of votes (and a lot of smoke blown up his tookus from the judges) week after week.  But I feel it’s my duty to point out that he was RIDICULOUSLY overscored this week.  His tango was, at best, stiff and cold.  I got NO HEAT from him – and honestly, who really wants to see a smoldering Osmond? I think I threw up in my mouth a little when he made the comment about “knowing about passion” because he had 5 kids.  And again with the hackneyed fauxmance with Bruno…ick, ick, ick.  But the crowd still cheers the loudest for him, and everyone (with the exception of maybe me, Heidi, & John) thinks he’s just dandy.  *sigh* Have fun on your trip to the finals, Donny boy…

3.) Mya & Dmitry – Still stone cold.  Great choreography (Dmitry really seems to shine in Argentine tango), near-flawless execution from Mya – and not a smidge of heat between them.  I had high hopes for Mya after the steam she brought to the lambada last week, but alas, it was all in vain.  *sigh* But their scores (and Mya’s fanbase) will likely carry them through again…

4.) Kelly & Louis - I give Kelly mad props for seemingly bringing Louis out of his shell – the guy has been wearing more makeup than some of the girls this season! It definitely makes them memorable, as does their song choice (honoring dear old daddy :-) ) and rocking theme.  And I am aware she was dancing with an injury…but let’s be honest - her paso was highly mediocre.  Kelly seems to be receding further into her shell with each performance, and it looked like she was more or less just walking through her choreo tonight…she may be the “loveable underdog” this season, but she is beginning to run the risk of becoming boring.  And boring does not keep you safe week after week…

5.) Louie & Chelsie – I’m gonna put it out there: Louie & Chelsie read my rankings last week and are heeding my advice and playing up the showmance ;-) These two look more smitten each time I see them – putting their heads together (a big body language indicator of attraction and trust, as it is a very vulnerable position), smiling broadly during practice, always facing their bodies toward one another.  But I actually agreed with Len and thought this was their best routine yet tonight – it had a story to it (which most of the other tangos didn’t), they were connected physically and emotionally, and the execution was clean.  I gotta hand it to Louie – he is always there for Chelsie physically during all of the stunts.  He’s a strong lil guy! And those two are still cute as a button…onto next week…

6.) Mark & Lacey – These two are still getting lost in the shuffle for me, despite the fact that they seem to be improving.  Their paso actually left me a little confused this week – Mark had some moments of great strength and character during the routine, and he also had some moments where I actually found him to be a little bit…effeminate.  Not sure if it was the way he was sticking out his hips or the expression on his face, but at certain points he really looked absolutely ridiculous to me.  Surprisingly enough, I actually preferred their two-step last week over this one. But if the judges say they’re improving, the voters will likely follow, and they’ll live to dance another week.  I’m just not sure they’re improving at enough of a clip to stick around much longer…

7.) Michael & Anna - I don’t think it was any accident that Michael got paso this week…after the disaster that was the bolero last week, I think the producers took pity on poor Anna and gave them a dance without a hint of romance.  But the paso suited him well, and he was actually quite entertaining to watch – not too painful on the eyes.  But I find that paso can be a dance that is easy to “fake” your way through, and really, that’s all he was doing.  And Michael the ham came out strong with a bit about “holding a quarter with your butt” and then took a cue from Donny and pandered to Bruno…probably a wise move on his part.  There’s a slight chance these two could end up in the bottom two, but after they were snatched from the jaws of death last week by Michael’s fans, I sincerely doubt they’re leaving this week.

8.) Melissa & Mark - Sorry Melissa, looks like you really are a one-week wonder.  And yes, I know your partner was sick one day (and you got to work with the fabulous Anna T., whom I adore :-) ) - but your tango still sucked.  The energy was low, and Mark did most of the fancy footwork (which is really supposed to be the woman’s job in this dance). Aside from that, I remember nothing about it.  And I don’t know how much longer you can coast through on Mark’s popularity…

9.) Aaron & Karina – Oh Aaron, what are we going to do with you? (and ironically enough, this was actually a lyric in one of his early songs back in the day! lol) I daresay you’ve got a lot of reputation repair to do to recover from your emotional outbursts the past two weeks.  And it doesn’t help that you seemed to be on the verge of happy tears upon getting your scores this week…although your tango was actually pretty darn good.  Like Louie, Aaron is strong, and good at tricks – he never seems to falter when he’s hoisting his partner around, and for the first time I actually felt a little bit of heat between he & Karina when their faces were close together.  But when they were apart? Totally blank.  Not a whole lot of showmanship here. And they performed early in the show, which never seems to help.  On a (slightly) unrelated note – does anyone else detect a rivalry between Aaron & Louie? Louie definitely took a cheap shot at Aaron during his confessional last week, and their “Who can do the best flip?” contest during the hustle practice seemed to have a slightly aggressive undercurrent…

10.) Natalie & Alec – Robotic, emotionless, low energy, and BLAH.  I really have nothing more to say about it.  I don’t know how it’s possible, but Natalie seems to  have actually gotten WORSE with each passing week, in both stage presence & technique. It  certainly didn’t help that she got stuck in the “crap spot” by dancing first…and she definitely doesn’t have the scores to keep her safe this week.  I also noticed her starting to develop the “Wish I had more to say…

So ummm yah…I really don’t have a lot more to say.  I think it’ll come down to Aaron & Karina (or maybe Melissa & Mark) and Natalie & Alec in the bottom 2, with Natalie probably going home. We’ll suffer through the group hustle once again as the encore, and we’ll probably be underwhelmed by the MJ tribute.  *sigh* But hopefully you guys will have some strong opinions about tonights show…and I wanna hear ‘em!

Also, feel free to take a look back at all the previous Dancing with the Stars power rankings to see how they’ve changed as the show progressed.