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DWTS Season 14 Stats Class: Pre-Season Elimination Breakdown

I’m BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Ok that was quite immature of me, but seriously. After the kind of hiatus that I’ve had full of drama what do you expect from me. :) Anyway, the cast has been announced, we know the pairings let’s find out what the numbers say they would fare.

If you’re new to how I calculate the Pre-Season Elimination Predictions please look at Season 11’s Who Has the Edge Part 1, Part 2 as well as Season 12 for information, one of these off-seasons I’ll write a more thorough analysis for you all… but until then, settle for the short form.

Below I’ve taken the time to rank the breakdowns within the following categories: AGE, OCCUPATION and PROFESSIONAL PARTNER so you have an idea of what variables I use before applying them to Season 14’s cast. So here’s a look at how everything ranks as of last season:

AGE is broken down by decades, starting with the teens. It would seem though in general as you get older, the lower the rank (on average), somehow those in their 60s tend to fare rather well… and who knows why? These include George Hamilton, Jerry Springer, John Ratzenberger, Susan Lucci and Kirstie Alley. Maybe this is a reflection of the voting public? Your guess is as good as mine. The age groups in bold are the ones being represented on the show. The ranks go from highest ranking to lowest ranking:
1: Teens
2: 20s
3: 60s
4: 30s
5: 40s
6: 70s
7: 50s
8: 80s

OCCUPATION is a trickier category to break down, because there are a lot of crossover celebrities, or those that happen to be multi-talented. So I try to categorize celebrities based on what they are most known for, not necessarily their most recent occupation (Billy Ray being a Country Singer as opposed to Disney Star). I also separated the Olympians, NBA players and NFL players from all other athletes. Entertainers are those that actually have a little dance background and entertain with not just their voice (Singer) but with their overall personality on stage (imagine Donny and Marie Osmond), Band Member is anyone that happened to be part of a band in their time (98 Degrees, NSync, Spice Girls).
1: NFL
2: Olympian
3: Disney
4: Band Member
5: Entertainer
6: Soap Opera Star
7: Singer
8: Actor
9: Athlete
10: Host
11: Actress
12: Reality TV Star
13: Boxer
14: Other
15: NBA
16: Model
17: Comedian

PROFESSIONAL PARTNERs, whether we like it or not, play a major role in how their celebrity partner does on the show. Being that this is the 14th season of Dancing with the Stars, at this point in time the professional dancers already coming into the season with their own fanbases (Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Derek Hough anyone?). Below are how the professional dancers fared on this show with how many seasons they’ve “competed” on the show. Not included are professional dancers that have permanently left the show.
1: Derek Hough (8 seasons)
2: Julianne Hough (5 seasons)
3: Cheryl Burke (12 seasons)
4: Tristan MacManus (1 season)
5: Maksim Chmerkovskiy (11 seasons)
6: Karina Smirnoff (10 seasons)
7: Kym Johnson (10 seasons)
8: Lacey Schwimmer (6 seasons)
9: Mark Ballas (9 seasons)
10: Louis van Amstel (8 seasons)
11: Chelsie Hightower (5 seasons)
12: Dmitry Chaplin (3 seasons)
13: Tony Dovolani (12 seasons)
14: Anna Trebunskaya (8 seasons)
15: Corky Ballas (2 seasons)
16: Ashly Costa (4 seasons)
17: Jonathan Roberts (7 seasons)
18: Val Chmerkovskiy (1 season)
19: Peta Murgatroyd (1 season)

Stayed tuned as my next post would take all of the above rankings and see how the numbers would rank Season 14’s Dancing with the Stars cast.

March 5, 2012 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS13 Who Danced it Better? The “Most Memorable Year” Edition

As many of you may have noticed, costumes aren’t the only things that get reused on DWTS – songs get recycled as well, sometimes ad infinitum! After oodles of requests from you guys for a feature like this, I’ve finally carved out the time to sit down and make it happen :-) Marianya actually used to do these posts awhile back – if you go to the search bar and type in “dance comparison”, you’ll see several editions she did for season 10.  Heidi & I are going to try and do it as well as she did, but you know us – if it doesn’t involve snark, we probably have the attention span of goldfish. :-)

Battle of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love”

 This was actually the VERY FIRST song ever used on DWTS, when Joey McIntyre & Ashly Costa (née Delgrosso) danced their cha-cha to it back in season 1…

 After that, it didn’t pop until again until 10 seasons later, as the opening pro number for the 200th episode results show in season 11:

And of course, most recently, Kristin chose it as her “most memorable year” song for her samba with Mark:

Court’s take: I was pleasantly surprised at how the band managed to tweak the beat to feel more “samba-y” for Kristin, but as much as she tried to shake her booty and flip her hair – she just didn’t manage to fully embody Beyonce’s swag. Loved Joey & Ashly’s attitude for their cha-cha, although in retrospect Joey was probably not as good as I thought he was back then – the standard of competition has definitely gone up in 13 seasons ;-) But for me the real standout was the 200th episode pro dance; loved the fact that we saw multiple styles in it (cha-cha, quickstep, a little bit of samba) as well as a TON of pros from the past coming, almost literally, out of the woodwork – all the usual suspects, as well as some rarer ones like Anna D., Corky, Ashly, & even Inna (remember her?) While they may have a bit of an unfair edge…gotta give it to the pros in this one.  That dance was HOT.

 Battle of No Doubt’s “It’s My Life”

 First, Louie Vito had it for his foxtrot with Chelsie in season 9:

 And of course, our favorite fashionista, Carson, tangoed to it with Anna for his “most memorable year” dance:

 Court’s take: Poor Louie never stood a chance against the fabulousity of Carson :-P Plus the song just feels better as a tango for me. 

 Battle of Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon”

 Fittingly, it was astronaut Buzz Aldrin’s foxtrot with Ashly in season 10…

 

And then Rob honored his late dad with the song when he foxtrotted with Cheryl to it this week:

 Court’s take: While I thought Buzz was adorable, his age kinda limited his range of motion – and by extension, the tempo of the music he danced to.  It just felt so slooooow.  I actually really enjoyed Rob’s – it was light and carefree, and Rob looked like he really connected to the song and enjoyed himself.

So whose renditions of these songs do YOU guys prefer? :-)

October 7, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Who Wore it Better? Part XIII – The Chelsie Appreciation Edition

Well she may not be on the show this season, but “out of sight” is certainly not “out of mind” for us here at PureDWTS! What better time to show Chelsie she’s loved than now? :-)

I must confess, due to my own pessimistic tendencies, this was originally supposed to be the Anna Apprecation Edition, because I was so certain she wouldn’t be back this season.  But thankfully, she is, and now I have inspiration to create subsequent editions of WWIB featuring all of the female pros – eventually. ;-) Finding costume dittos is hard sometimes, even for someone with a freakishly near-photographic memory like mine…

Battle of the peach jeweled ballgown: Brooke’s Viennese waltz with Derek in season 7 vs. Chelsie’s pro dance with Dmitry to Jewel in season 8

Heidi: I think the look worked on Brooke simply so that the dress didn’t detract from the emotion of the dance, which was a Viennese Waltz to Daughters, by John Mayer.  It’s kind of plain on her, otherwise. I prefer it on Chelsie, and I like her softer hairstyle with this dress. Of course, it could just be the lighting. :-)

Courtney: I noticed several patterns with Chelsie’s costume choices while compiling this post.  The first is that she has an affinity for doing very lifty, contemporary choreo while wearing shortened ballgowns.  You can’t see in this picture, but this dress has actually been shortened substantially – check it out on the Randall website. May not be of any consequence to you guys, but I do find it kind of interesting how the costume department, when pressed for time & unable to create new costumes, just takes what they have on hand & changes it to work for them – very resourceful.  Anywho! I always thought the dress was very pretty on Brooke, but I’m not sure it’s a color she would pick for herself – seems too demure, and better suited to someone more wholesome and youthful, like Chelsie. And I’m not wild about Brooke’s hair – looks too…plastered down? Idk.

The winner: Chelsie, for better coloring…or maybe lighting.

Battle of the black, fringed, jewel-trimmed Latin dress: Chelsie in the season 11 finale opening dance vs. Anna’s opening credits shoot with Sugar Ray in season 12

Courtney: Another pattern I noticed with Chelsie: she is so freaking hard to get a decent screen cap of!!!!! Seriously – she never stops moving, and her technique is so good that she moves with such a range of motion that she’s seldom in a position where she’s facing the camera, in a neutral position.  I got so many bad screenshots of her moving her body in crazy ways that made it impossible to see her costume well.  She also seems fond of black-fringed costumes – this one is pretty similar to the one she wore for her cha-cha with Romeo, and she wore gloves for both.  In truth – I’m not wild about this version of the black-fringed costume.  Since there’s very little sparkle, it just seems to look a little blah on both ladies for me.  At least with the Romeo version, there was quite a bit of sparkle to give the costume some depth.  I prefer colored versions of this particular style, such as the hot pink & multicolored versions featured in WWIB Part XI.

Heidi: I don’t care for the long black gloves with the short, fringed latin dresses – I don’t get that wardrobe choice at all. Other than that, there isn’t much to say about it really – it’s hard to see but I really prefer the dress on Anna – and again, it could just be the background and the lighting influencing me. I’m so easy. :-)

The winner: Anna by a hair…with an assist from the background & lighting :-)

Battle of the sheer, white, feather-trimmed ballgown: Cheryl’s Viennese waltz with Chad in season 10 vs. Chelsie’s dance with Mark in the “America’s Favorite Dancers” show

Heidi: They all have their “tics” don’t they?? :-) Mark’s is high water pants and polka dots, Cheryl’s is the sheer ballgown skirt.  I much prefer Cheryl’s tic in this case, although I do find it a rather strange choice. As for who wore it better?? Well, I think Chelsie is wearing it like it’s a dress made for CHERYL, if that makes sense. It doesn’t really seem like it belongs on her, and I also prefer Cheryl’s hairstyle, as it is fancy, fancy, fancy…just like the dress.

Courtney: Ahhh yes – another representative of Cheryl’s ongoing infatuation with sheer-skirted ballgowns :-) This one is odd for me: I think the bodice is gorgeous, with all of the beading & delicate details, but the skirt…looks totally silly to me. Like they let a class of preschoolers decorate it with a bunch of feathers & pom-poms.  All that’s missing is the uncooked macaroni and you’ve got yourself a craft project! I don’t know…they both look good from the waist up, and bizarre from the waist down.  I’m apathetic.

The winner: Cheryl loves her some sheer skirts…and rocks them well.

Battle of the red, jeweled midriff Latin costume: Chelsie in the pro dance with the Mwano family in season 11 vs. Edyta’s salsa relay with Ashley in season 9

Courtney: Chelsie costuming pattern #3: she will never show her stomach completely.  Seriously…find me an example of her midriff being completely exposed and I will gladly admit I’m wrong.  She’ll wear cut-out dresses, or ones that show a teeny-tiny bit of belly, but then you’ve got 2-piece costumes like this where they slap a piece of mesh down the front.  This costume definitely had to go through some un-Edytafication before Chelsie would wear it…the mesh, the extra layer of fabric on the skirt to cover the sides, the increased chest coverage.  Normally I would give this one to Edyta, no contest, but the open sides of the skirt look weird to me.  Gotta go with Chelsie this time.

Heidi: Edyta, by a mile.  It was originally designed for her and by adding back material it just makes an already unfortunate dress worse. :-)  When you add the mesh on the front it make the whole dress look heavy, what with the double patterned belts around the hips and under the bra line.  I think Edyta is just playing the part here better than Chelsie is – and damn that woman has a body.  :-)

The winner: Edyta, for playing the part.

Battle of the lavender, jewel-trimmed, one-shoulder ballgown: Kym’s Viennese waltz with Donny in season 9 vs. Chelsie’s Viennese waltz with Jake in the season 10 finale

Heidi: I think Chelsie is a bit too short for this dress – maybe if it was straight to the floor instead of layered it would work better for me. Both women look very pretty, but I’m gonna have to go with Kym, I believe.

Courtney: This is another thing I hate about screen-capping – it always makes colors look too warm.  The dress is closer to the color on the left than the color on the right – but it’s a pretty color, regardless.  I think it’s a good example of the “less is more” concept of costuming – very simple silhouette, flattering color, minimal trim.  Lovely :-) Looks great on both ladies, but I have to give this one to Kym – love her romantic wavy hair.  Looks like Chelsie may have been the victim of the dreaded quick-change, which usually necessitates un-fussy, generically-styled hair to fit multiple costumes.

The winner: She of the Awesome Boobage dominates once again.

Battle of the gold, fringed, halter-top Latin dress: Chelsie in the season 8 intros vs. Ashly in the 150th episode pro dance to “Hard to Handle” in season 6

Heidi: Hmmm….tough call. Both ladies wear this dress well. It compliments both Chelsie’s sunny, California girl look, and Ashly’s darker hair and complexion.  This one is a tough call!!  I think I’m leaning toward Chelsie, but I have to idea why. :-)

Courtney: Maybe because we have a hard time believing a wholesome Mormon mommy like Ashly would pick out an outfit like this for herself? ;-) I dunno, at least that’s what I think – both ladies are on the wholesome side, but Chelsie is able to pull off sexier, flashier outfits a bit better, IMO.  The impression I get from Ashly in this dress is that “I had to wear a gold dress to match the other dancers, so I bit the bullet and picked out the most conservative one I could.” Plus I love the way a gold outfit looks paired with blonde hair :-)

The winner: Chelsie, for looking more comfortable being sexy.

Battle of the pale blue, jeweled high-neck ballgown: Nicole’s waltz with Derek in season 10 vs. Chelsie’s pro dance with Dmitry to Goo Goo Dolls in season 11

Courtney: I had completely forgotten about this one – and now that I’m looking at it, I’m realizing that it is really a beautiful dress. Simple silhouette with delicate details.  Again, looks great on both ladies, but I’m gonna go with Nicole on this one – I think this dress is better balanced as a long dress, and the high neck looks a bit odd on Chelsie.

Heidi: I think the high collar on this dress rather begs for an upswept, formal hairstyle. It draws the eye to a nice neck and you don’t want your hair ruining the effect. So, I have to go with Nicole also. The bodice of the dress with the shorter length (and lack of shoes) on Chelsie just doesn’t look quite right.

The winner:  Nicole, by a length…of dress.

August 29, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 12 – PRO WATCH!!

IT’S ALMOST TIME!!!!!  :-)

Well, it’s about that time again, folks, and even though we are having a Hough-less season I find myself very excited to start this all over again!! Last season was rough there at the end and I’m looking forward to a fresh start – the time off (mostly) did me good. :-) So where are we on the pros?? Well, the only thing certain right now is Derek is out. Most of the remaining pros appear to be assembling in LA, including Damian and Peta – although I’m not sure where Maks and Tony are. But do they really need to be in LA to find out?

Check back here often – we will update this post as we go. With my luck stuff will happen when I’m unavailable. But maybe Courtney and John can update if they don’t see me do something rather quickly and can’t get me online. Here’s the list we’re starting with – I’ve intentionally left out Alec and Edyta based on their tweets, but let us know if I’ve neglected anyone.

The Men

Derek – Out for Season 12; filming Cobu 3D
Maks – ??
Mark – Per @BewitchBallas,  his Management says end of next week he finds out.
Louis – IN (see below)
Tony – IN – per Disney News and the tweet shown below
Damian – ??
Dmitry – ??
Jonathan – ??
Corky – ??

The Women

Cheryl -IN (changed from tentative to “fer sure” per Cheryl’s Facebook)
Anna T. – ??
Lacey – IN (?? see below)**
Chelsie – IN (? See Video Posted by Vogue)
Karina – ??
Kym – ??
Anna D. – ??
Ashly – ??
Peta Murgatroyd* – ??
Julianne* – ??

*I included Peta and Julianne with the women mainly due to some internet blather about Jules and lots of clues about a potential Peta appearance as a full time pro (really, will the producers be able to resist a new “couple”??).

Lacey tweeted a comment not too long ago to Derek saying something like “I’m excited to be your dance class buddy”  – people took this several different ways. Some thinking it meant she was out for the season and working her Dad’s studio, and Derek was participating in some way. I took it to mean that Derek was taking lessons related to his movie, and she and/or her dad was somehow involved. It could be both, I suppose, but Lacey has been abnormally quiet on the subject of DWTS and I can usually rely on her to blab. :-) Times like this I actually LOVE that about her.   But if I find out she has a part in Derek’s movie, I may go postal. :-)  You’ve been warned.

Cheryl and Mark fully intend to be on this season and are waiting to find out if they are or not. I think some questioned whether they would be around based on Cheryl’s book tour and Mark’s music related activities.  Louis also wants to be on the show pretty badly, based on his excitement over finding out. The rest, as far as I can tell, have been pretty mum on the subject.  TALK, PEOPLE!! :-)

ETA:  Think Lacey is in??

ETA 2: How about Louis?? I’ve updated the tweet I had with the one below – when someone tweeted asking if that meant he was on DWTS for sure, he responded with only a wink. :-)

I love shopping in NYC...woohooo....my credit card doesn't. Oh well, I gotta get new clothes for rehearsals....:-)
@LouisVanAmstel
Louis Van Amstel

ETA 3: Tony doesn’t usually say, as I recall, but I’ll take his smile here as a yes.

:) RT @TMCFan4Life: @DWTSMakeup its gonna be very nice to have @TonyDovolani back in the ballroom in a month YAY!cant wait.hes my favorite.
@TonyDovolani
Tony Dovolani
February 18, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS 11 Week 7 – The Cheesecake Awards!!!

 Another week, another cheesecake. :-) Beware, there are scary hair stories, penis talk and general bitchiness ahead. You’ve been warned. :-)

The “It’s about Freakin’ TIME!!” Award:  The opening pro dance!!!

Heidi: THAT’S what I’m talking about in terms of wanting more pro dances!! That was awesome! Well done.

Courtney: At long last – a pro dance comprised ENTIRELY of pros we know, that is legit ballroom (and not artsy contemporary/ballet), and with believable cha-cha/quickstep music.  Was that really so hard, powers that be? ;-) Good to see a lot of familiar faces in addition to this year’s cast – Anna D., Ashly, Damian, Dmitry, Jonathan, and even Inna.  Only absence that I really seemed to notice? Alec & Edyta.  *sigh* Makes me wish that their split from the show wasn’t quite so bitter…then we might actually have a chance at seeing them in a pro dance.  Oh well…c’est la vie.  Also gotta give a “Cheesecake Award within a Cheesecake Award” to the wardrobe department for digging up every last silver ladies’ Latin costume they could find for this number…saw Kym’s cha-cha costume from season 9, a few of the dresses from the Team Gaga cha-cha last season, Chelsie’s cha-cha costume from last season, Kym’s freestyle costume from season 7, etc. etc. etc. And before any of you ask – yes, there is another edition of “Who Wore it Better?” on the way…it’s just a matter of me figuring out the time between our other weekly features, my job, vacations, pets, and other commitments. Be patient, it will be worth it ;-)

Heidi: You forgot – no annoying interuptions to show the cheesy musical guest. :-) Oh crap. I just realized that we forgot Tom B.’s most awesome faux faint while talking to Taylor Swift. And Courtney’s gone to bed to watch Grey’s Anatomy, leaving me alone with the Cheeeeeese. :-) Well, Tom, not that Taylor’s cheesy or anything – and I thought the bit was good, really – but it wasn’t your best because you PLANNED it. I know this because you said so on Twitter. I still love you and think you deserve 10 Emmy’s though. :-)

The Cheesecake Award for The Cheesiest Cheese that Ever Cheesed:  the opening of the Team Dances

Heidi: Laugh out loud on the cheese factor. It was like a prize fight or something. Hilarious. Big heartbeat, dramatic music, steam. Oy veh. Ha, check out Ballas posed on the floor.

Courtney: You may have LOLed…but I cringed and rolled my eyes.  The hearbeat sound effect? The smoke? The intimidating pose at the end? Ugh.  I don’t ever remember them going to such tacky lengths before for the team dances, and they worked just fine then.  The only one who really seemed to get into the drama of it was Mark…surprise, surprise. ;-)

Heidi: That was the cheesiest part – he thought he was all bad ass. See Derek make funny faces about it, cut to Mark trying to look like Stallone in Rambo.

Best Use of a Soul Patch by a Non-Ohno Celebrity: Jennifer Grey, Honorable Mention: Brooke Burke.

Heidi: First off, I thought whoever came up with the Soul Patch idea was brilliant – LOVED it. I know I read that it was kind of a last minute thing. I just thought that was a cool homage to their captain. But then to come back from commercial to see Jennifer leaning on Apolo wearing Derek’s – too funny. And Kudos to Brooke for going with the flow and trying to put it on her own face. I just love little things like that – they’re not huge but they make the show more fun. 

Courtney: Definitely gave them a creative, humorous little “edge” over Team Kristi, as did the bandanas…then again, what were their opponents  supposed to do as an homage to their captain? Do a couple of triple lutzes? They should have asked Derek for an assist…I hear does a passable Yamaguchi impersonation ;-) But anyway, back to the soul patch.  I think the funniest part of it for me was the fact that it kept falling off of Anna…must’ve been some shittay adhesive! At one point I think it fell down her shirt.

Award for Scariest Pre-Dance Package:  Team Apolo

Heidi: After seeing that package I was somewhat convinced their dance was going to be a mess – and I think we likely have the production/editing crew to thank for that. They were so intent on making sure everyone knew that Jennifer was tired that they didn’t seem to really focus on anything else. The rehearsal seemed disorganized and a shambles. Obviously, since they danced so well, that wasn’t the case at all.

Courtney: Once again, I blame those sneaky producers and their sly attempts at making the playing field look far more level than it really is.  I knew the team dance was gonna be a homerun for Team Apolo right off the bat, thanks to Kristi’s poor strategy in choosing her team.  The 2 best dancers this season (Jennifer & Brandy), a well-matched, lovable couple (Kurt & Anna), and a pro that’s never lost before in a team dance (Derek) – pretty stacked deck, if you ask me.  So what did they do to create suspense? Tried to make Team Apolo’s practice look as trainwrecky as humanly possible.  Jennifer’s tired! Kurt’s having trouble with the steps! Brandy is having a hard time keeping up! How ever will they beat Team Kristi, the team whose package was all sunshine & rainbows & Bristol shimmying her hips with Lacey & Cheryl??! The answer: pretty easily.  Nice try, PTB.

Heidi: I’m pretty sure I saw a rainbow shoot out of Rick’s ass. But Jesus, I didn’t even think that far through it. Those shitheads. :-) Awesome point, oh young but wise one.

Tom Bergeron Line O’ the Night: “You never forget your first” in reference to Mel B pinching his butt. Honorable Mention – “We now join the Bickersons already in progress.” 

Heidi: There’s not much we can say about The Bergeron that we haven’t already waxed poetic about. Why this man hasn’t won an Emmy yet, I can’t understand.  Step out of the way, Probst, all your shit is pre-taped and edited. (Psst…I love you too, though. Call me.) And that argument between Anna and Kurt was the cutest thing ever – I would have commented on it too, if I were Tom.

Courtney: Tom Bergeron is what made this 200th Episode extravaganza work – all the banter with the returning celebs, the off-the-cuff humor we’ve come to love week after week – he’s just perfect.  And forget Probst – the man just looks dramatic while pulling pieces of paper out of a jug.  And move over Heidi Klum – Bergeron can say a whole lot more than “Auf Wiedersen”.  Now if only Bergeron would win, and Cat Deeley would at least get a nomination…

The Award for Biggest “WTF?” Production Screw Up of the Night: Whoever in production that had their mic “live” so that we heard them laugh and say “thanks Brooke!!” right after she called Rick in jeopardy. (Dis)Honorable Mention – the camera man who failed to have Kurt on camera in the very opening of their dance.

Heidi: Geez oh man, they really had trouble keying the correct mic buttons this week. At least twice I heard production voices when I shouldn’t have, then I heard Tom talking when his mic should have been turned off. The worst was the one regarding Rick. I think Brooke realized that went over the air too, by the look on her face (in watching this back a second time, it actually sounds like Kyle and Lacey). Then there was one during Brandy’s VT prior to her finding out if she was safe or not. I know this is a live show and all, but it’s one you’ve been doing for 5 years, folks. That party champagne start flowing a tad early, did it?? Big goof at the beginning of Kurt’s dance too – nice shot of Anna’s face though.

Courtney: I didn’t catch either of these, and I’m too lazy to go back and watch again right now, so I will take your word for it ;-) But yah, seriously – who do they have on their production staff this season? A bunch of orangutans? Seriously sloppy.

Heidi: I wonder if they edit that crap out for the west coast, like when someone does something bad on live TV and the west coast never sees it? Curious.

The Dork of the Week Award: Mark Ballas for his on-going contributions to the awkward nicknames Hall of Fame.

Heidi: Dude, Bristallion? Dork. :-) I mean really, Mark, pretty sure no female wants a nickname that’s partly large, male horse-related. Especially not when Derek is around to shout it at the top of his lungs like he did in the celebraquarium the other night. While we’re at it, let’s talk about why you shouldn’t call her “Bris” – unless you’re talking about when you were a young Jewish boy, I’m pretty sure that one should be dropped entirely from your vocabulary.  Then there’s your team name. Ballin??  REALLY?? Do I really need to explain this one to you?? I know others tried, via twitter, to talk you out of that one. Now that I look at this list, it becomes apparent that you have only one thing on your mind. LOL.

Courtney: I think Mark is just grasping at whatever he can to endear Bristol to the masses (although she’s apparently endeared herself enough to make it all the way to the quarterfinals…are tacky nicknames really a necessity?).  Bristallion, Bris, Team Ballin, Bristol the Pistol – are you running out of ideas, Mark? Let me help: how bout “Bristol Meth”? Cause she’s got such energy? ;-) Oh, and interesting to note: in Cockney rhyming slang (think Basher from Ocean’s Eleven and Austin Powers & his father in Goldmember), “Bristol” is actually slang for “tits”.  Can I say tits? Or should I change it to “boobies”? Cause the latter just kinda makes me feel silly. :-P

Heidi: “Boobies” is so 12 year old boy. :-)

The “Way to Bogart Heidi & Courtney’s Cheesecake Awards” Award: The DWTS Awards

Heidi: How many times can we use the word “awards” in one sentence? I believe I actually groaned out loud when Tom announced they were going to hand out awards – the first sign that a show is taking itself too seriously is when it gets all self-congratulatory. But luckily I think the producers were just stealing from me and Courtney and decided to have their own Cheesecake Awards. ;-) Some of their choices were pretty questionable, though, in their effort to actually get a full roster of nominees. In what universe does Kate Gosselin get included in “most dramatic” moment with the likes of Marie fainting or Christian getting hurt??  Then they really fluffed (pardon the expression, boys ;-) ) up the male pro “biggest transformation” award.  Mark and Derek? Seriously? Derek cut his hair and has figured out how to grow facial hair (but it’s blond so you can’t see it), and Mark shaved already short hair off. Both have gotten a little more buff, but really, not that big a transformation. I think they really wanted to make fun of Louis’ and Maks’ hair at the end of the day. LOL – and that was some hair guaranteed to get you picked on on the playground, for sure. And I definitely think that Erin should have gotten an award for hitting Maks in the head with her shoe – that was AWESOME. :-)

Courtney: Seriously, powers that be – you’re already annoying me with all the changes you’re making to the show, but now you done pissed me off by deciding to give your own silly ass awards.  Ours are far, far superior, just to be clear ;-) Agree wholeheartedly about Kate & Tony’s little tiff being included in the “Most Dramatic” category – seems quite trivial and stupid when you’re showing Cristian tearing his bicep and Misty rupturing her Achilles tendon and Marie fainting…and how did I know as soon as they showed that clip that an Osmond was a shoo-in to win the “Most Dramatic” category? Ai ai ai.  And yes, the male pro transformation category was for the sole purpose of making fun of Maks’ & Louis’ epically bad long-haired days.  Why else do you think they started with the least transformed (Derek, Mark, & Tony)? Enjoyed Len’s bit in the judges’ category – his one-liners, though few & far between, are often nearly as funny as Tom’s – “I’ve seen more romance at a dentist!” “The rumba is the dance of love…this felt more like a couple havin’ a bit of hanky-panky in the back of a Chevy!” “Entertainment runs through your veins like chianti does through Bruno’s!” As for Carrie Ann and Bruno – the former’s was an odd collection of gyrations, cougar behavior, and tears, and the latter…well his was the same, minus the tears.  And really guys – Kenny Mayne the worst dancer in DWTS history? Dude, it doesn’t get much worse than Master P…brutally bad, and had no inclination whatsoever to improve.  Overall: I wouldn’t let the ding-dongs behind those awards anywhere near the Cheesecake.  Heidi & I would have had that audience howling…or completely offended.  Who knows.

Heidi: Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m TRYING for “completely offended.” :-) CAI is quite an idiot when you string all her crap together like that. :-) And Bruno – well, where would we be without all that innuendo? Sans tears? :-)

The “If you haven’t got anything nice to say…STFU” Award: Lacey Schwimmer

Heidi: Why the hell does Lacey actually sound mean in the Dancer Transformation segment where the other ladies are actually pretty amusing? Just me and my over all apathy toward Lacey this season?  Girl, just because you routinely soak your brain, er, head in bleach doesn’t mean everyone does. Unless Derek has been bleaching since birth, when you two are standing together only one of you has serious peroxide issues. Hint – his beard is ash blond. The boy probably gets highlighted, but I doubt very much that he dyes his beard to match his head. Me thinks she of the head of straw is a tad envious of pretty blond hair. ;-) She’s certainly in NO position to make fun of Maks, Louis or anyone else about their hair and how pony tails aren’t attractive. Her hair looks horrible! Dye it back, already. Ugh. Note to Lacey – me and Court are the only ones allowed to critique. It’s the law of blogs, plus your hair is worse than any of those guys. :-)

Courtney: Once upon a time, back in college, Courtney got bored with her hair (which was jet black at the time – also the product of boredom a few months prior) and decided to go blonde.  The result, while not entirely painful to look at, was not ideal – it was quite obvious I was not a natural platinum blonde (my skin is rather olive), my hair was rather dull & frizzy, and it broke off just above the shoulders due to being so completely damaged.  It took only a few months of this nonsense (and a ridiculous amount of money to maintain it) to figure out that I was simply not cut out to be a blonde.  Lacey, on the other hand – she seems like she hasn’t quite reached that point yet.  She is still in the “wow, blondes really do have more fun!” phase where she is convinced that it’s her destiny to be blonde, and that it looks so good on her that she’s in a position to pass judgement on those with natural blonde hair.  Hint: if God gave it to you – it probably looks better on you than it does on someone who bought it.  I love how she automatically assumes that he bleaches – has she not seen old family pix of the Houghs? Every single one of those children was blessed with full heads of golden hair, no chemical assistance necessary.  And as if she knows how terrible her hair looks, she says “If you get any more bleach in your hair, you’re gonna look like me!” Reason enough right there to ditch the bleach, D-Hough.  If you really are bleaching, that is.

Heidi: When did this turn into a horror story? :::shudder::: Breaking hair?? I’m a natural redhead – or I was. I’m the kind of redhead that goes very blonde in the sun and after a while it just stayed blonde – so I know not of which you speak but it sounds very, very scary. I think Julianne probably lightens her natural, more ash blonde but that girl has awesome hair. Is Lacey just not spending enough money on it? I really wanna know. :-) Is this a case of Super Cuts versus the Beverly Hills Salon?

Award for the Most Succinct and Apropos Description of the Instant Dance: Brandy

Heidi: In the confessional, she just kinda crossed her eyes and twirled her finger near her ear. Yep, that pretty much sums it up for me, girl.

Courtney: Crack is whack. ;-)

The “Coincidence? I think not.” Award: The Cast of SWTS

Heidi: HA!!!  Both Bethany and Rebecca Budig were rumored for DWTS and here they are turning up on Skating with the Stars – I’m so good I’m finding hints for shows I didn’t even know existed. ;-)

Courtney: Here’s what gets me: Skating with the Stars is not even a new show.  Does anyone else remember Skating with Celebrities that aired on FOX about, oh, 4 or 5 years ago? Exact same premise.  Nothing at all new or innovative about this incarnation.  The winner of that show, Kristy Swanson, actually ended up marrying her skating pro from the show, Lloyd Eisler.  And the show got such low ratings that they didn’t even bother with a 2nd season.  Will this time around be a smash hit, following on the heels of DWTS? Maybe.  But I doubt it.  The only reason I’m tuning in is because I’m pretty sure Randall has signed on to do the costumes for that show as well, since I spotted Rebecca donning Nicole’s Argentine tango dress from last season. Ringer pick to win: Olympic skier Johnny Moseley.

Brooke Burke Flub O’ the Week: Saying that Maks had gone to the finals 2 times before…when he’s actually been to the finals 3 times

Courtney: And god bless Maks for calling her out on it! Once again, not sure if they’re feeding her bad info in her earpiece, or she’s trying to improvise this banter, but either way…something is getting lost in translation.  My advice to Brooke: if you’re going to throw out anything remotely numbers-related, or really, just facts-related, memorize it prior to the show.  Write it on your hand.  Come up with a fun pnemonic for it.  Have someone write it on a telelprompter or cue card.  And if you still can’t remember it…just scrap the idea altogether and ask them if they want some cheesecake. ;-)

Heidi:Yeah, write it on your hand!! Bristol’s mom can show you how it’s done!! ;-) And thus endeth the obscure political trivia portion of the Cheesecake Awards.

The “I Can Haz Costume Gimmick?” Award: Lacey Schwimmer

Courtney: Ok, I promise I’m not deliberately TRYING to turn this into the Heidi & Courtney anti-Lacey hour, but homegirl is SERIOUSLY bugging me this season for many reasons – and this is one of them.  Why is her go-to costume these days a skimpy feathered skirt and a matching bedazzled bra???? Monday night was the third time THIS SEASON that we’ve seen this combo – each time in a slightly different color scheme.  I feel like most of the time, the ladies on the show know what kinds of costumes flatter them best, and generally stick to what really shows of their assets while camoflaging other areas.  I don’t feel like Lacey always follows this example – and I don’t think the feathered-skirt-with-matching-bedazzled-bra combo is at all flattering on her.  In fact, I cannot help but wonder how many Muppets had to die to make her skirt, or how late some poor wardrobe assistant had to stay up bedazzling yet another bra for her.  Do you REALLY need to show that much skin, honey? Edyta is gone, and she was really the only one who could carry off near-nudity well.  And someone, please burn that damn razor blade bra before she has a chance to wear it for a 5th time – we saw it in season 7, season 9, the beginning of this season, and then in the Bruno dance video.  NO MORE RAZOR BLADE BRA!!! PLEASE!!!! But hey, she got her wish – she will forever be known as the “sparkle bra and silly feathered skirt” gal in my mind….not a good thing.

Heidi:Would you believe that I had an award called “The Rule Most In Need of Breaking Award” – The one that requires that Lacey be in EVERY single freakin’ Pro dance on the damn show!! I took it out because I thought maybe I was being too harsh and that I was alone in being so sick of Lacey that I have the urge to slap her. :-) Guess not. Problem is that she thinks she’s REALLY hot and REALLY funny and she’s…not. At. All. I think the only time I’ve laughed at her was when she told Kyle to put his chest away because no one wanted to see it – and I laughed because I said the same thing at the same time, so I was really laughing at myself. :-)

Least Surprising Appearance by a Former Contestant: Jake Pavelka

Courtney: So completely NOT shocked to see goofy attention-whore Jake cheesing next to Evan & Erin when the camera panned to the season 10 celebs.  He’s probably desperate for attention now that the whole Vienna scandal has died down.

Heidi:That and the fact that he probably can’t get a job to save his life. Ugh. He’s not even goofy, he’s smarmy and creepy.

 

And thus endeth the Cheesecake (why do I keep trying to spell it Cheesekake?) Awards for Week 7. Hope you all enjoyed.

November 4, 2010 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Tacky Dance Themes Part 2

Since all the songs this week are new-ish… we are deprived of being able compare Season 11 celebs with other celebs in the past… That being said… the good news is that we have other trips down memory lane to give you! Meaning another round of Tacky Dance Themes! *evil cackle*

So here you have it… round two of the Tacky Dance Themes, if you are wondering what the heck is this about… go to Part I and enjoy the commentary.

Now what other couples decided to have some strange dance themes prior to the “Dancing Through the Decades” theme and “Movie Night”?

Season 5: Mark Cuban & Kym Johnson
Dance: Samba
TV/Movie Program: I Dream of Jeannie
Tackiness Quotient
Music: The Theme song itself is pure instrumental, which traditionally I don’t consider as tacky. But there are so many nuances in the music that just screams the TV show that this deserves a Score: 3
Costuming: Oye, you have Kym as Jeannie in full regelia and you have Mark trying to be Major Nelson? Well, more like a geek is a better description. Granted Kym looks really good in that costume… Score: 2
Nuances: Too many to count, it didn’t bring me to a carnivale as a Samba should, it just reminded me of the show too much. Mark’s facial expressions didn’t help matters any… well at least they were having fun. Score: 2.5
Conclusion: Final Score: 7.5
I’ll admit it was a fun dance, and Kym looked good in that costume. But the concept that Jeannie would do her thing to make her partner dance is just so cliche. Still it’s better than the Star Wars routine as a dance… meaning that I don’t mind rewatching it, on occasion, with a bottle of vodka on hand (and I don’t drink).

Season 5: Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska
Dance: Paso Doble
TV/Movie Program: Superman
Tackiness Quotient
Music: Superman Theme Song… enough said. Score: 3
Costuming: You have Cameron wearing something with the letter C emblazoned on his chest similar to Superman AND Edyta wearing almost nothing but a cape? Yeeeaaaah Score: 3.
Nuances: It was okay, I can’t really think of anything, I mean it’s not like Cameron flew onto the dance floor… so Score: 1
Conclusion: Final Score: 7 out of 9
What’s a Superman dance without a cape? And what better dance to make use of a cape but the Paso Doble! The only thing that’s confusing me is whether that piece of cloth that Cameron was waving around was suppose to be his cape or is it Edyta? As odd as that sounds… it worked! Kind of, sort of, maybe.

Season 6: Jason Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska
Dance: Paso Doble
TV/Movie Program: Monday Night Football
Tackiness Quotient
Music: Monday Night Football Theme Song… ok I haven’t really watched football and didn’t really recognize the song when I first listened to it without the visual, which is a good thing so they get Score: 1
Costuming: Did they wear the colors of Jason’s team (Miami Dolphins) at the time of this season? OMG, I think they did! Score: 3.
Nuances: This seems to be a clear cut and dry Paso Doble, except for that last move at the end. Nothing that really screams tacky… but darn that last pose did it for me. Score: 2
Conclusion: Final Score: 6
It was a respectable Paso Doble, but Jason has the physique, plus this partnership moved on to be second in a Season that included Kristi Yamaguchi. Though that hood that Edyta had tacked onto her costume…. why? why? That was so distracting.

Season 6: Adam Corolla & Julianne Hough
Dance: Paso Doble
TV/Movie Program: Zorro
Tackiness Quotient
Music: Puhlease… it’s the Plaza of Execution, where else could it have come from? Score: 3
Costuming: *rolls eyes* Just look at Adam! Enough said. Score: 3
Nuances: There wasn’t much in terms of nuances… but dammit that unicycle did it for me (not to mention Julianne stripping Adam’s mask off)…. Score 2.
Conclusion: Final Score: 8
It was a fun dance, a bit stiff… there was “fluff” that I could do without, but the unicycle bit was pretty darn entertaining and just died when he got onto his feet… still >.<
Since the video cannot be embedded... here’s the link.

There you have it for this next set of Tacky Dance Themes! Stay tuned for the next installment of Tacky Dance Themes… :D

September 24, 2010 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS 11 Stat Class: Who has the Edge? Part 1

Yay! My turn. :D

Heidi and Courtney (Part I and Part II) turned in their feelings of how the power ranking would work for the season. While John wrote about odds/competitiveness factor as well as number of twitter followers for each celeb.

If you were following last season, I tried to predict scores for the stars before they actually started dancing. Well here I am again, using a more “advanced” statistical analysis to try to predict where each celeb will ultimately end up.

These calculations are based on three factors:
Age Group: Taking the average of all the placements of all past celebrities and breaking them down by age group (teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc), it came to pass that those in their teens through 30s tend to do better than those in their 40s on up. As in on average three placements better. That being said, the celebs (on average) place lower in accordance with their age… with one notable exception: those in their 60s tend to place higher than those in their 50s.
Occupation: Again taking the average of all the placements of all past celebrities and breaking them down by occupation. I know there are a lot of celebs that work in multiple mediums, however, I am focusing on the medium that they are best know for. David Hasselhoff is known for Baywatch thus he’s known as an actor. Brandy is best known for her music thus she’s in the singer category. And yes Reality stars have their own category and those like Bristol Palin are found in the “other” category.
Professional Dancer: And yes, I even went so far as to calculate the average placement of all the professional partners through all the seasons. I tried to normalize the result as much as possible, but obviously as much as I try to make this a scientific calculation, it is only half the battle.

After averaging all three of the above factors out I come up with a fairly decent representation of how the celebs could be placed in competition. Granted things will change with every passing season, but we’ll see how things go.

In Part II of the DWTS Stat Class: Who has the Edge? I will present the above three factors in action and give a bit of an analysis of each factor as well as my thoughts, and then follow that with a final averaged placement.

So for your reading enjoyment… I will give you the ranking of the pros (including Alec, Edyta, and Julianne for nostalgia’s sake) in order of ranking from highest to lowest.

The professional dancers (dancers participating on Season 11 are in bold):
1.) Derek Hough – 6 Seasons
2.) Julianne Hough – 5 Seasons
3.) Cheryl Burke – 9 Seasons
4.) Lacey Schwimmer – 3 Seasons
5.) Kym Johnson – 7 Seasons
6.) Chelsie Hightower – 3 Seasons
7.) Dmitry Chaplin – 2 Seasons
8.) Karina Smirnoff – 7 Seasons
9.) Louis van Amstel – 6 Seasons
10.) Mark Ballas – 6 Seasons
11.) Tony Dovolani – 9 Seasons
12.) Corky Ballas – 1 Season
13.) Maksim Chmerkovskiy – 8 Seasons
14.) Anna Trebunskaya – 5 Seasons
15.) Edyta Sliwinska – 10 Seasons
16.) Alec Mazo – 5 Seasons
17.) Ashly Costa (nee DelGrosso) – 4 Seasons
18.) Jonathan Roberts – 7 Seasons

September 14, 2010 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS11 Preliminary Power Rankings – Part I

It’s that time of the year again! Time for me to do my preliminary power ranking of this season’s couples as a sort of prediction of how things will play out between now & November.  For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about (or just need a refresher from last season ;-) ), I do a weekly ranking of the couples after each performance show that is basically a measure of how likely they are to stick around that week.  Now this is NOT a ranking of who danced the best; we all know that just because a couple is at the top of the leaderboard, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re safe.  This is a far more comprehensive ranking – it takes into account not only a couple’s performance, but also how well-liked they are, how well-known they are, how strong their voting demographic is, how memorable they are, etc. 

I correctly predicted last season’s top 5 before the season even began – I’m hoping to best that this season by correctly predicting the top 6 ;-) But anywho, here’s my bottom half – the 6 couples I don’t think we should get too attached to, because I don’t foresee them sticking around for long…but there are always surprises!

 12.) Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino & Karina Smirnoff – I really did have high hopes for these two, but unfortunately I just think they have too many odds stacked against them to last past the first week – that is, unless The Sitch turns out to be a natural, because they haven’t even started practicing yet.  And they likely won’t until the week prior to the show, if what Karina’s tweeting is correct, since he’s wrapping up taping of the current season of Jersey Shore.  Speaking of that show – I’m on the fence as to whether it’s going to be a boon or a burden for him.  I said that I didn’t think Wildboyz & Jackass fans would tune in & vote for Steve-O, but he lasted until week 5…but I think Steve-O was also getting a bit of a sympathy vote from his recent stint in rehab.  I’m not sure there’s anything for voters to feel sympathetic about as far as Mike’s concerned.  And Jersey Shore is a really polarizing show – people either love it or hate it, so I hope to god that Mike is charming as can be if he wants to stick around.  Karina is a pro that seems equally as polarizing – people seem to either adore her or loathe her (I’m in the former camp), and I’m afraid that her voting fanbase is just not going to be able to compensate for any lack of votes on the part of his fans.  I hope to god that I’m wrong, because I really would like to see how these two do…but I’m preparing myself to see Mike join the infamous “first eliminees” club.

11.) Kyle Massey & Lacey Schwimmer – The only reason I see these two lasting longer than Mike & Karina is Lacey’s fanbase: she seems to have a decent-sized one, and they seem to be the type that are very motivated to vote.  Echoing Heidi’s sentiments, Kyle is definitely the celebrity that has people going “Who?” this season – even co-workers of mine that have kids who watch Disney religiously were drawing a blank when I mentioned his name (and yes, for those of you who are new, I do use the ladies in my office as a sort of sample demographic – most are in their 30s & 40s with school-aged kids, which seems to be the biggest viewing demographic of the show).  As for his dance prowess, if Lacey’s tweets and the rehearsal pictures that have been released are any indicator, then Kyle seems to be a bit of an awkward mover – and a jokester, so Lacey may have a hard time getting him to focus.  Kyle may benefit slightly from the “mom” vote, but unless he’s really pretty good…I don’t think these two will last past the first few weeks.

10.) Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas – If Kate Gosselin’s longer-than-anyone-could-have-expected tenure on the show last season was any indicator, it’s that America loves controversial celebs – and I daresay Bristol has that position covered this season.  Just like Heidi, I don’t see her getting sent home any sooner than week 3 – heck, I could even see her lasting until week 4 or 5, at the expense of a better dancer.  I actually see her lasting longer if she’s exceptionally bad – just like viewers latch onto the best dancers, they also seem to enjoy keeping the bad ones around…everyone loves watching a train wreck.  Mark’s also got one of the bigger fanbases on the show, so even if people don’t particularly care for Bristol, they’ll vote to keep Mark in the game, especially since he was eliminated so early last season.  Judging from the rehearsal photos, it looks like Mark’s got his work cut out for him – Bristol definitely looks awkward.  She’s also been pretty quiet and mundane in the media, so I don’t think she’s gonna make a huge impression in anyone’s minds – unless she’s just a really bad dancer.  In which case, George Lopez may dub her this season’s Kate, and take it upon himself to campaign to keep her in…that fool.

9.) Audrina Patridge & Tony Dovolani –  There’s been a good amount of debate so far about whether Audrina’s gonna sink or swim…I’m leaning towards the former. Audrina’s done a little bit of modeling, and I don’t know of any dancing she’s done (besides what you do in a smoke-filled club), so I’m inclined to think that she’s gonna go more the route of Holly Madison and Kathy Ireland than Melissa Rycroft or Stacy Keibler.  Don’t get me wrong, she seems like a very sweet, pretty girl – a very sweet, pretty girl that’s not gonna make a whole lot of waves, good or bad.  And unless she’s got some hidden skills we don’t know about (superhuman flexibility, gymnastics, etc.), I doubt Tony’s choreography is going to really showcase her well.  As for voting power…I know The Hills had a cult-like following, but at the same time, just because someone likes that show doesn’t mean they necessarily like Audrina (I’ve known plenty who watched the show who absolutely despised her, for whatever reason).  And Tony’s gotten sent home fairly early before – I don’t think he has the voting fanbase to carry them both.  Oh well…at least she’ll look pretty in the costumes!

8.) Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel – No doubt, these two will be the comic relief this season.  I didn’t think anyone could top the hilarity of Niecy & Louis, but this very well may do it!  Do I think that Margaret is going to be a stellar dancer? Hell no, but neither was Niecy – I’m pretty sure she & Louis realized that pretty quickly, which is why they went to town working the comedy angle, and it worked for them.  Margaret is a well-known comedian, so I could see die hard fans of hers coming out to vote; Louis is a bit more of a wild card, as I don’t really know if he has the broad-spectrum appeal of Derek or Mark – he does, however, seem to have the support of the LGBT community (as does Margaret), which quite a powerful demographic.  I don’t think that alone (and their schtick) is going to carry them through to the midpoint of the competition, though, and I’m not sure there’s a whole lot for Louis to pull out of her in terms of real skill.  Margaret is also known to get a bit bawdy in her comedy – something I think she may have to reign in if she doesn’t want to risk offending a good part of the voting audience.  Overall, I think they’ll be fun to watch – but the humor will eventually wear thin and pale in comparison to better dancers and bigger fanbases.

7.) Michael Bolton & Chelsie Hightower – I know some people don’t really have high hopes for these two, but I think some people are really underestimating Michael’s appeal – I remember grown women & teenagers alike going CRAZY for this guy in the early 90s.  As in screaming, crying, and bra-throwing crazy.  And to be honest, the guy has aged pretty well – he’s definitely not terrible to look at (thank god he got rid of that ratty-ass hair!), and he’s still making music.  I would bet those same women from 20 years ago still carry a bit of a torch for him, and they will step up to the plate & vote.  As will the growing population of Chelsie fans – I think she’s all but filled in the role of the blonde, Mormon girl-next-door left vacant by Julianne.  Will Michael be one of the breakout dancers of this season? Meh – probably not.  But I do think he’ll make an honest effort, and I daresay he won’t be nearly as bad as some other guys.  And honestly, I’m actually starting to warm to the idea of he & Chelsie together…it doesn’t seem like quite the odd couple that it first appeared, especially when you compare them to Ashly & Buzz (which, oddly enough, seemed to work as well).  I honestly vacillated between putting them at 6th or 7th – and I still think they could potentially make it to the top half of the pack.  But I think it’ll hinge upon how the couple I placed at #6 does…

…and with that, I give you the first half of my pre-season power rankings ;-) Curious about who I have making it to the finale, and who I have taking home the mirrorball trophy? Then stay tuned for part II…and I’ll give you a hint: my winner is different from the one Heidi predicted ;-)

September 9, 2010 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris Dances

We all know that Brooke Burke was introduced to Dancing with the Stars world as a contestant on Season 7 before becoming co-host on Season 10.

Now that Samantha Harris is no longer co-host does that make her eligible to dance as a contestant on the show?

The following dance seems to indicate that she could do all right on the show. This is from Season 2, her professional partner was Jonathan Roberts… and they danced the Jive to Prince’s Delirious Prince - 1999 - Delirious.

Now I don’t know about that armpit smelling move… but I digress.

And of course Samantha wouldn’t have been persuaded to do this hadn’t Tom Bergeron jump in first… So here is Tom Bergeron dancing the Quickstep with Ashly DelGrosso (now Costa) to the song Get Happy made famous by Judy Garland Judy Garland - Judy Garland's Greatest Hits Live - Get Happy.

Tom’s so popular he could last a while… =)

And of course as a quick send off… Drew Lachey with Cheryl Burke as a fill-in during a results show episode when Gloria Estefan had to back out at the last minute due to family. This is their Ballroom Medley (it includes Foxtrot, Quickstep, Jive and West Coast) to Danke Schoen as sung by Season 5’s Wayne Newton Wayne Newton - The Capitol Collector's Series: Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen

September 6, 2010 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS Season 11 PRO WATCH – Corky Ballas

….is back on the show and partnering Florence Henderson, if you believe TMZ. :-)

The rest? I’m confirming Tony because his wife is now following Audrina Patridge according to the twitter voices (and Jeniffer in the comments :-) ). Well…see below.

Chelsie Hightower – probably in
Cheryl Burke – Unknown – I assume yes
Edyta Slwinska – Unknown
Lacey Schwimmer – IN
Anna Trebunskaya – Probably In
Anna Demidova – OUT
Karina Smirnoff – Possibly In
Kym Johnson – Unknown, but tweeted she’s very excited and happy.
Ashly Costa – Probably out – tweeted “me too” to Jonathan.
Julianne Hough – OUT (Footloose)

Alec Mazo – Betting OUT
Corky Ballas – In
Derek Hough – Excited about new season and high fiving – IN.
Louis Van Amstel – Unknown
Mark Ballas – I bet In, tweeted he got good news today
Maks Chmerkovskiyi – I bet In
Damian Whitewood – OUT
Dmitry Chaplin – OUT
Jonathan Roberts – OUT
Tony Dovolani – I bet in, he’s been tweeting very happily.

August 27, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)