DWTS 15, Week 2 – The Cheesecake Awards!!!!

Heidi: I’m on a roll…or a tear, depending on your POV, this week. I’m feeling mean. You’ve been warned. Don’t come crying to me later for my sense of humor having a mean streak this week.

Courtney: But everyone out to be thankful that Heidi’s on a streak, because I myself am feeling a bit…sedate.  Apparently I am allergic to either Cajun seasoning or lump crabmeat, as I broke out into hives about 15 minutes after sampling a hot seafood dip Mama Spence made for the Colts game.  A few hours, a trip to the urgent care, and a shot of dexamethasone later, I’m feeling less itchy…but a little blaaaahhhh.  But hey, at least the Colts beat the Packers! :-D

The C U Next Tuesday Award, Redux: Carrie Ann Inaba, for rather heavy-handedly chastising Bristol Palin for breaking hold in her quickstep

Courtney: Let’s get one thing straight: I fully acknowledge that Bristol & Mark broke hold in their dance (if you haven’t yet, see my post about it) and I agree that the judges were right in pointing it out.  HOWEVER – I don’t endorse CAI for going all Regina George on Bristol for it, claiming she was going to “slam back” because Bristol “slammed them in the face” by breaking the staying in hold rule. First of all, I have to laugh at how egocentric CA must be to think that all the couples break rules with the intention of somehow dissing the judges – I’ve heard her make the same ridiculous assumption about couples doing lifts, as if every single choreographic decision the couples make that doesn’t fit into her her specific (and ever-changing) rule book is a personal insult to her.  My god, woman, IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!! Second of all, at least direct your unwarranted indignance at the real guilty party – Mark.  Have you somehow forgotten that the pros ultimately make the choreographic decisions??? I don’t care how much influence you may think a celeb has over their pro partner - the pro gets the final say in the choreography, and if it really was Bristol insisting they break hold (and I’m not sure it was), then Mark should have had the cojones to put his foot down and tell her no.  But that’s neither here nor there – CA is a grown woman, not a teenage girl slamming another girl against a locker for stealing her boyfriend/copying her outfit/whatever.  Grow up, ya diva…before they have to pull an extra chair up to the judges’ table for your ever-growing ego.

Heidi: She’s just a nutbar. As you said she’s done this before – taken it as a personal insult to her that someone broke the rules.  Like Derek or Mark or Maks sit in a room with their partner saying, “What can we do to REALLY get CAI’s goat and piss her off?” But see, that’s the difference between CAI and the pros on this show. The pros are actual choreographers…it’s an art form, and sometimes they make creative decisions to put together the most exciting, memorable dance and that means a rule gets broken.  I doubt CAI was considered until they looked at the final routine and figured that they better warn their partner they might get in trouble because CAI is a self centered biotch who thinks it’s all about HER.

The “Making out is the new black!” Award: Helio & Chelsie and Apolo & Karina, for finding ways to smooch in their routine; honorable mention – Val Chmerkovskiy, for finding any excuse he could to kiss Kelly on the head/hand/arm/etc.

Courtney: This seemed to be one week where the makeup department was discouraged from using the long-wearing lipsticks that we’re used to seeing – as both Helio & Apolo proudly sported lipstick kisses on their faces from their female partners.  Love certainly seemed to be in the air this week…maybe they were inspired by Kirstie’s enthusiastic congratulatory smooch to Tom last week? :-P

Heidi: Well, I think Val and Karina have crushes. Don’t know what the hell the deal is with Chelsie. :-D

The “STFU Already” Award for Beating of a Dead Horse…AGAIN: Len Goodman for YET AGAIN reminding us of how shocking Sabrina’s elimination was in Season 6

Heidi: OMFG…how many times do we have to hear about this!!! Are they going to give her top of the leaderboard every week just to get the story they want at the end of the season?? “The most shocking elimination EVER finally wins!!! All is right with the fucking world.” :::rolls eyes:::  I think I actually freaking screamed when he said it yet again.

Courtney: Wait…Sabrina’s elimination was shocking? Hold the phone. MIND…BLOWN.  8-O Read more..