Well, this is probably going to be a pretty short ranking, because besides nursing a killer migraine…tonight just kind of sucked.
Ballroom round? Too short, and pretty ho-hum. Trio round? Only one real standout, a couple that were so-so, and the rest were fails. And of course, Len continues to be a horrible human being. I miss Andy more than I thought 
Let’s get this over with…
1.) Zendaya & Val – First off, I probably would have picked a different song for their foxtrot – the fact that it’s a capella made it feel a bit thin & boring. On top of that, it seemed like it took a little too long to get into the dance, and what I saw, while pleasant to watch, didn’t really excite me. As for their salsa trio – where was the salsa? I saw a lot of vaguely hip-hoppy stuff and a lot of side-by-side actions, but very little interaction between Zendaya herself and the two guys she was supposed to be dancing with. And I generally just found some of the choreography to be a bit odd – once again, rather stop-and-go. It wasn’t a bad dance, per se, but I would dispute the fact that it was a salsa and call attention to the fact that the bulk of it was done individually, as opposed to in couples. Hell, salsa’s even one of the easier dances to do with 3 people…would it really have been that hard to do a bit more work in-hold? Oh well…they’ve got a 58, so they don’t even have to worry about it…
2.) Kellie & Derek – I feel like they were the only couple tonight that really put a ton of thought into both of their performances, and even figured out a clever way to link the two together. The Viennese waltz was very pretty, though I would have liked a little bit more of it to be in-hold, because Kellie can handle it; the paso trio was the only dance that really stuck out in my mind tonight, because it was so exciting to watch and it was the only one that actually seemed to work WITH the props they chose, as opposed to just having them there (like several other couples). Len’s score AND his comment to Bruno about having “something up his ass”? Uncalled for, inappropriate, and I’m just done with that SOB. If Fox can issue an apology for Steve Tyler’s behavior on Idol, then they can certainly issue one for Len’s behavior on DWTS. Dude is seriously crossing the line.
3.) Aly & Mark – Man, they’re REALLY trying to make Aly “happen”, aren’t they? Yes, she has grown – somewhat – in her time on DWTS, but I still find her a bit underwhelming to watch. I actually agreed with (ack) Carrie Ann about her Argentine tango – for as acrobatic & flexible as Aly is, her leg lines seemed a little…weak. I don’t think it was 29-worthy – maybe 27-worthy. As for the jive trio – it wasn’t bad, but it was just so BLAND. Part of it was Aly, but I really just found the choreography to be a bit blah as well – Mark seemed to be erring on the side of safe again. I have to wonder if she’s not getting the votes – because they seem to be scoring her awfully kindly these days.
4.) Jacoby & Karina – The Viennese waltz was better than I expected, though not his best dance. Liked the drama of it, but I thought it could be a bit neater. Actually enjoyed their paso trio with Cheryl, but I feel like the only real problem seemed to be that there was just so much choreography jam-packed into that routine that Jacoby got a little distracted…which could explain why he just kind of flung Cheryl off to the side. I think they just got so caught up trying to show everything that Jacoby was capable of doing that they may have overwhelmed him. But overall, I thought he did pretty well with both of his dances tonight…let’s hope that translates into safety. Not sure what to think after he ended up in jeopardy last week…
5.) Ingo & Kym – Eee gad…this partnership really kind of imploded this week, didn’t it? Kym seems like she’s at her wits end, and Ingo got really, really whiny this time around – that package did not do them any favors. For all the fussing that they were doing, I think their foxtrot turned out halfway-ok…it was definitely better than Sean’s tango, despite a few little stutters. The jive trio was basically a dud – you could tell the ladies did everything they could to ensure that Ingo was moving as minimally as possible during that dance, as they did most of the heavy-duty dancing; there was also a rather prolonged entry & exit, perhaps to cut back on the time that Ingo was actually dancing. I think they’re definitely bottom 2 fodder tomorrow night, and might even end up going home. They’re just getting hard to watch…
6.) Sean & Peta – Well, I think Sean is probably the weakest dancer left, and I think the judges made clear that it’s Sean they want gone tomorrow night. The tango felt stompy & awkward, and I could tell that Peta was doing a good deal of backleading in that one. Jazz trio? Despite having Sharna there to at least offer up some good advice, I think Sean’s trio was probably the biggest fail of the evening. Like Ingo’s trio, it seemed like they tried to put the ladies front & center whenever they could, and had them doing most of the real moving…although I feel like there was even less actual dancing in this dance than Ingo’s, and Sean was even more awkward attempting some of the jazz steps than Ingo was with the jive steps. I was pretty much done with Shawn a few weeks ago, and I’m definitely ready to see him go now…the question is: will it be him, or Ingo?
So was anyone else let down by this week’s dances? Go ahead and sound off, I need to lie down…
I’m trying to care, really I am.
Well, maybe not twice as long…there aren’t that many things funny about this show any more. 
