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Pure DWTS End-of-Season Awards – Season 12

We know you all love the comedy of the Cheesecake Awards, but we here at PureDWTS do know how to be serious, as well :-) So it’s time to vote in our end-of-season awards – we started this last year as a way to look back at the season and see what the bests and worsts were, and see how our readers really felt about the season as a whole.

The voting categories are below – please vote on each one.  We will reveal the results in a series of posts in the upcoming weeks, as well as our commentary on the results.  Vote away and enjoy!!!

NOTE: There is an “other” box, if you really & truly don’t agree with any of the options listed for a particular category. We did our best to compile a list of good nominees for each category, but not everyone is going to agree. C’est la vie.  So if you want to vote “other” – simply click on that option and type in your answer.  However, a word of caution – if I cannot understand what you typed, I won’t count it in the vote totals.  I’m afraid some went a little crazy with the “other” box last season, and I was left to muddle through some badly misspelled, grammatically confusing, and downright incoherent answers…as well as answers that were already listed as nominees.  *facepalm* So for the sake of my sanity, kids, please – at least try to spell things correctly, and make sure the thing you are voting for isn’t already listed a nominee ;-)

June 15, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 12, The Finale – The Cheesecake Awards!!

Oy veh. One more for the season. WARNING! This one gets a tad…harsh. If you are overly sensitive in regard to some of the regulars on this show, look out. :-) You’ve been warned. I (Heidi) was feeling particularly evil when I wrote my parts.

Best Moment of the Finale: The Three Stooges reaction to Chelsea Kane getting 3rd place

Heidi: Ahhh…that was soooo sweet. Guess what, stooges, you don’t have all the power, no matter how hard you try. LOL. Want to see what we’re talking about? Keep your eye on the judges once the camera goes wide again. The body language is hilarious. Len and Carrie Ann are sitting, not clapping, in shock. Mwahahahaha….

Courtney: Both of them looked like they’d just seen the ghost of Michael Jackson or something.  Utter, total, and complete shock – followed by bitterness.  The Almighty Judges thwarted in their master plan??? Muahahahaha – you betcha.  Probably a good thing that Carrie Ann wasn’t clapping – her arm fat was jiggling like crazy earlier in the night when she was grooving in her chair to Black-Eyed Oh-bitch-please.

The Award for Being Almost TOO Cheesey to Bear: Tom Bergeron/Producers for that silly opening voiceover on the last night

Heidi: Is it just me or was that just way more over the top than normal?? I mean, this ain’t the Olympics, it’s DWTS (which I guess makes my complaint ironic…or redundant…or…pointless?) – but do we really need the dramatic talk about “their journey” to get to the finals??

Courtney: You’d think we were watching the pre-show for the Olympics or the Superbowl or even Idol – the sad backstory, the clawing their way to the top, the blood, sweat, toil, and tears, this has been their lifelong dream, yadda yadda yadda.  Way, WAAAYYYY over-the-top. Spare me.

The Karma Really Works Award: Len Goodman for “If they don’t like our scores, then vote for them!!”

Heidi: Fan-f@#ing-tastic. :-) That’s called having karma take a bite out yo ass. :-) We DID vote and it didn’t quite go the way you expected, did it? But this still does piss me off because that sure as hell didn’t work in week 9, did it. I fully expect to see the BonASS dance in the finale next season so they are more likely to get their way. Anyway, I think the producers were taking a poke at the judges, since when they aired this little gem they likely already knew that Chelsea took 3rd place. :-)

Courtney: You may be onto something with the producers taking a swipe at the judges – perhaps they were trying to make them the scapegoat for the whole fiasco.  I can’t help but wonder if TPTB were catching so much flak for the WTA dance that they decided to shift the blame to the judges – making a point of having Len say that right before announcing Chelsea as 3rd place was a subtle way of saying “Blame the judges! They’re the ones that gave the scores!” Of course, I don’t think anyone in a position of authority on the show is blame-free for the shitshow that was season 12 – as I said on Twitter the other day, this season was one big series of unfortunate events that resulted from TPTB trying to atone for the sins of season 11…and failing miserably.  Viewers tend to fight back when they start monkeying around too much with the basic premise of the show – this is a prime example.

Award for Most Bizarre Dancing “tic”: Maks and walking

Heidi: He does this all the time and did it again in his freestyle with Kirstie. He has quite long sections of just walking across the dance floor. Don’t get me wrong, it really worked well in the mood of his freestyle, but often it’s just a time-wasting move that he uses too much – IMO, of course. They all have tics or signature moves – but those are MOVES. This is walking. I’m surprised he doesn’t get called on it more often. I’d call him on it. :-)

Courtney: Yeah, I guess it’s kind of his “thing” – like Mark’s jimmy legs, Cheryl’s sheer-skirted ballgowns, or Lacey’s sometimes-pointless displays of flexibility.  I am a bit surprised that he doesn’t get called out on it more, but I guess he does walk with a sense of purpose in his step – I guess I can forgive it more easily than, say, spastic dancing or copied choreo. 

The Award for the Best Use of NEW MATH: Brooke Burke/the Producers

Heidi: Most watched season ever?? Seriously?? TV Guide said it was up by double digits but compared to what?? And for the ENTIRE season and not just the finale? Doubtful. It’s possible I could be brain-dead, but ratings are one of those things I pay attention to and I thought it was down – and some weeks Nielsen reported it was down. Now, granted, I don’t look THAT closely, but damn, I think this is creative math at work here. They’re forcing me to do a post on ratings trends. :-) Maybe they meant to say “Most watched SPRING season ever.” That might work.

Courtney: I feel like the phrases “most watched season ever” and “closest competition ever” have become clichés in the great DWTS lexicon – they seem to toss ‘em out every time the finale rolls around.  And lucky for them – most viewers don’t care enough to contest it.  But for us Scullys & Mulders who know “the truth is out there” – it’s endlessly annoying.  It’s taking liberties with the data – and that pisses us off.  We ain’t stoopid :-)

Heidi: :::swoon::: Just call me Scully – I love me some Mulder. :-)

The “Oh. I didn’t think about that” Award for Failure to Engage the Brain: Mark Ballas, for his freestyle choreography

Heidi: Dude, probably not a good idea to plan to have your partners hands and feet light up, necessitating wires running all up and down her body, AFTER you’ve spent 60 seconds tossing her around the dance floor. OF COURSE the batteries came un-plugged and the battery pack got dislodged (incidentally, affecting her performance – not that it mattered to the stooges). Battery packs with wires + highly tricky dancing = OOPS

Courtney: That was a dumb move on his part, but so was picking a freestyle song/theme that did nothing to showcase his partner’s skills or even allow her to connect to the music.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll go ahead and say it again: I don’t feel like I was watching a performance of their freestyle; it was just a regurgitation, if you will.  Unlike Kirstie & Hines, who I felt both really “connected” to their routines on a personal level, this did not feel like something Chelsea would have chosen for herself – it said nothing about her.  This was music recycled from Mark’s heydey, with moves that show how great MARK is, not Chelsea. The poor girl was just trying to keep up the whole time.  The malfunctioning lights were just icing on the crappy cake. 

Best Song Lyrics Written by a 5-Year Old: Black Eyed Peas Song they Debuted on the Finale

Heidi: So, Will.i.Am’s kid has begun writing song lyrics now?? Really, wasn’t that just one line chanted over and over again for three minutes?? This group continues it’s downward spiral into mediocrity.

Courtney: The Peas are gadawful, period.  I move that we relegate them to Yo Gabba Gabba! duty ASAP, cause their songs are serious gibberish.  Like, seriously – my cat makes more interesting noises when pooping in his litter box than the Black-Eyed Oh-bitch-please – no more! do in a song.  The person I feel most sorry for in this whole Pea-induced debacle is Hines – poor guy had to deal with him at the Superbowl AND the DWTS finale.  I bet he’s ready to slap that metal toupee off Will.i.am’s head and kick Fergie right in her London Bridge.  I’d make some funny comment about the other two, but seriously – who remembers their names? They will eternally be Asian Guy and Other Black Guy to me. That seems punishment enough for those poor souls. Hashtag, just sayin’.  ;-)

Heidi: Bwahahaha…London Bridge. Is that in her mouth or is it a euphemism for…never mind. :-) I like that one song “I Got A Feeling” but mainly because I have seen a home video of four of the five Hough siblings just jamming out to it with Derek leading the way. It takes a Hough…technically 7 of them since it was 4 sibs and 3 of their little girls.

Comedic Line ‘O the Night: ANYTHING by Mike Catherwood.

Heidi: Hilarious dude. The one that really made me giggle was when he called Tristan “Lucky Charms”. LOL And may I just say that he can really pull off that short…body suit thingy that he was wearing. He was trying to be ridiculous, obviously, but I just kept thinking about what an awesome body he had. :-)

Courtney: Mike is seriously doing a disservice to the women of the world by not capitalizing on his fab form.  Case in point: I’m not really a “leg” girl (most regulars here can tell you I’m a pec girl – especially if a guy can make them dance), but I was marveling at how RIPPED Mike’s quads and hamstrings are.  Meeeeooowwww.  The whole “riotously funny” act is just icing on the cake.  Seriously judges (more specifically Carrie Ann…and maybe Bruno) – you couldn’t have ridiculously overscored Mike the first two weeks so we could have kept him around a bit longer? I don’t know too many people who would have been upset if Wendy had gone home earlier ;-)

Heidi’s Favorite Moment of the Night: Petra and Dmitry’s Dance to Josh Groban

Heidi: Okay, this clearly shows what a total SAP I am, but I just loved how Groban walked out there singing and Petra didn’t realize until Dmitry stopped her and pointed – the look on her face was just priceless. That woman is just an angel, I swear.

Courtney: I may have been rolling my eyes and saying “Surprise, surprise”, but I have to admit – Petra’s genuine look of surprise and delight was enough to make sitting through “You Raise Me Up” again worthwhile :-) Such a doll…her gratitude for everything in life is just beautiful. Wish we could have a celeb like her on every season!

The Absolute, Without a Doubt, Stupidest, Most Awkward Bit of the Entire Season, Maybe the Entire Series: Wendy Williams interviewing herself.

Heidi: And trust me when I say that it did NOT get less awkward on the second viewing. It might have been worse because you knew what was coming. For the love of god. The only thing I can’t decide is if watching her dance would have been worse…or better.

Courtney: Let me answer that last query of yours: it would have been worse to see her dance.  That was the only good thing about this gawdawful filler – at least we didn’t have to see her move awkwardly through another cha-cha, quickstep, or foxtrot.  But a singular version of Wendy is annoying enough – I did not need the plural.  And poor Tony had to sit there and play along with the whole shitshow.  FAIL.

The “Me? A Westler? Nope, Comedian is My Current Occupation” Award: Chris Jericho

Heidi: This dude proved to be one of the more intriguing and unexpected characters on this season. Some hard-ass wrestler dude? Nah, he’s a comedian who imitates Bruno and throws himself on the judges table so that Bruno can lay one on him. :-) The whole “rubbing my chest for no apparent reason” was just totally…right on. :-)

Courtney: Just like I wish Mike could have stuck around longer, I really wish we could have seen more of Chris, too – the guy was just so darn LIKEABLE. And his impersonations were spot-on – he really captured the nuances of both Len & Bruno’s accents perfectly.  *sigh* Somehow I think this season would have been slightly less agonizing to watch had we gotten more of Chris…

Real World Problem Award: Kendra falling off the judges’ table at the end of her samba

Courtney: Fact: drunken ass-shaking on elevated surfaces seldom ends well for us common folk.  But you’d think with a bevy of strong, coordinated, muscular guys there to catch her after she dipped, that Kendra would be in no danger of this kind of mishap.  WRONGO-BONGO!!! I’m still trying to figure out how she managed to nearly fall & bust her head open with 5+ able-bodied men within arm’s reach.  Can’t decide if they were just distracted (Teddy) or apathetic (possibly Tristan…;-)).

Heidi: They were trying to dodge pinches from Bruno and got distracted. :-) HEY, it’s not out of the realm – dude has been WAY out of control all season long.

June 2, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Pure DWTS Finals – Black Eyed Peas, Go-Go’s, Sara Evans, and More To Perform For Dancing With The Stars Finals Week

Let The Finals Begin! Monday night our dancing couples will perform two numbers. The first dance is the judges’ choice and the second is the famous freestyle. Then on Tuesday, the three couples will perform their favorites dances from this Season which the judges will rank. Also, on Tuesday, the Black Eyed Peas, the Go-Go’s, and Country singer/former Dancing With The Stars Season 3 contestant Sara Evans will perform. Details below from ABC MediaNet. I imagine other surprises are in store for us as well including the return of all the contesants and pros who were eliminated this Season. We have yet to hear anything about the “Design A Dance” Contest and Performance as well which I’m starting to wonder if they scrapped?

In the final one-hour performance show on MONDAY, MAY 23 (8:00-9:01 p.m., ET), the couples will compete in two dances. The first number, the Judges’ Choice, is the style that the judges have determined to be the one each couple showed promise in and could now excel at based on hours of practice and performance. Then all three contenders will perform their fan favorite Freestyle dances.

The anticipation builds and competition continues for the two-hour Season Finale on TUESDAY, MAY 24 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET), as the three finalists perform their own favorite dance of the season and are ranked by the judges. In addition, each of this season’s 11 couples returns to the dance floor for a special performance. All of the excitement and frenzy will lead up to the moment we’ve been waiting for – who among the three finalists will reign as champions of “Dancing with the Stars” and take home the coveted mirror ball trophy?

Also on Tuesday’s spectacular Season Finale, one the best-selling, most popular and most innovative groups in over a decade, The Black Eyed Peas, will perform the exclusive television premiere of their new single, “Don’t Stop the Party,” live. The Black Eyed Peas have transformed themselves from a beloved backpack rap troop from the West Coast Underground into fully-fledged, massive global superstars whose music can be heard in any country around the world. Having created several albums, each more innovative and popular than the last, The Black Eyed Peas – will.i.am, Fergie, Taboo and apl.de.ap – are releasing their sixth full-length album, “The Beginning.” This follows on the heels of 2009’s “The E.N.D.,” their most popular and most creative album to date – and the one that reaffirmed their singular status as global music icons. “The E.N.D.” sold more than 11 million copies worldwide and entered the Billboard Top 200 Chart at No. 1, outperforming their previous CD, “Monkey Business.” It yielded five Top 10 singles (the first album to do so in 20 years), spent an entire year on the Billboard Top 200 Chart, and earned the group three new Grammy Awards, for a total of six Grammy Awards they’ve won. In all, they’ve sold 29 million records worldwide (plus over 30-million digital tracks), sold more than 3 million tickets and headlined over 300 different tour dates in 29 different countries. “The Beginning’s” first single, “The Time (Dirty Bit),” went straight to No. 1 on iTunes in 11 countries within the first 24 hours. Much of “The Beginning” was conceived during their most recent worldwide headlining tour, where they visited more than 20 countries and played to more than a million people.

For the first time in a “DWTS” Season Finale, Macy’s Stars of Dance presents the Macy’s Design-a-Dance fan favorite Jive song pick, “We Got the Beat,” to be performed live in the ballroom by the Go-Go’s. The winning “DWTS” pro dancers and concept will also be revealed Tuesday night. This will be the band’s first television performance together in over five years and kicks off a spectacular summer of events celebrating the 30th anniversary of the Go-Go’s debut, history-making album, “Beauty and the Beat.” The Go-Go’s recently announced the addition of a tour kick-off performance to be held in Las Vegas, NV at The Beach at Mandalay Bay on May 27, 2011. When “Beauty and the Beat” was released and flew up the charts 30 years ago, it became a perennial soundtrack for summer and reached the top of the Billboard charts, the first for an all-female band who wrote and performed their own music. Also just released, “The Go-Go’s: Beauty and the Beat 30th Anniversary Edition” by Capitol/I.R.S. commemorative edition, available in 2CD, digital and hot pink vinyl format, which features the remastered original album plus exclusive, previously unreleased live show recordings from 1981.

Country music star/”DWTS” Season 3 alum Sara Evans returns to the ballroom floor after having to withdraw from the competition. Having made a huge comeback, Sara’s new RCA Nashville album, “Stronger,” was released March 8 and scored back-to-back weeks at No. 1 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart. First week sales earned the album a No. 6 debut on the all-genre Billboard 200 chart. The album’s first hit single, “A Little Bit Stronger,” recently reached the No. 1 position on the country radio charts and stayed there for two consecutive weeks. “A Little Bit Stronger” was also recently RIAA-certified as a Gold Digital Single, reflecting digital sales in excess of 500,000 downloads. Beginning June 18, Evans will join Rascal Flatts on their summer “Flatts Fest” tour.

May 21, 2011 I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.

Pure DWTS 12 – Cheryl Burke Explains Complicated World Of Choreography And Constuming (Video)

Good Morning America goes with Cheryl behind the scenes of Dancing With The Stars. Cheryl explains how they come up with costuming using Mark and Chelsea as an example. Randall Christensen (the costume designer) sketches out the designs as they are inspired. If you look closely, you can see a hint into Chelsea and Mark’s Cha Cha costume for tonight. Cheryl then goes into Mark and Chelsea’s rehearsal to help explain the choreography process. At the end, you can see the final outcome of their Rumba and Argentine Tango costumes. (I wish we could see the other contestants and pros spotlighted too?)

May 16, 2011 I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.

DWTS Season 12, Week 9 – Who’s Dancing What?

Well, two more weeks to go. Two individual and one crazy-ass dance with will skew the game in a horrible way (and based on twitter and celeb interviews, I’m pretty damn sure my previous post was accurate). Of course, because the whole season was a mish mash, the semi-final is also a mish mash. So….who’s dancing what?

Ralph and Karina – Argentine Tango and Salsa
Voting Number: 1.800.VOTE4.08

Chelsea and Mark – Argentine Tango and Rumba
Voting Number: 1.800.VOTE4.01

Kirstie and Maks – V. Waltz, Paso Doble
Voting Number: 1.800.VOTE4.11

Hines and Kym – Argentine Tango and Salsa
Voting Number: 1.800.VOTE4.03

And of course, all three teams are participating in that Cha Cha Bonus dance. From everything I’ve read on twitter and heard from the pros and celebs, the first place and fourth place teams at the end of the individual dances will compete and the 2nd and 3rd place teams will compete. The winners of those legs will face off. The over all winner gets 15 points. One of my previous posts explains why this is a travesty – unless fans of the other couples vote like CRAZY (and I mean, crazy) their favorite stands a one-in-three chance of going home. The point margin is likely to be impossible to overcome, unless the winner was a serious low scorer on the individual round – and even then they will be extremely tough to beat. This is equivalent to letting the judges decide one of the 3 couples in the finale – the people will have no say unless they can really step it up in terms of voting. I keep praying I’m wrong. I would have more respect if they just stood up and said “You know what? We’re going to let the judges pick one couple for the finale.” That would at least be honest. This? Not so much.

Anyway, I think, of the individual dances, Hines and Ralph will be most challenged with their dances…you know, I don’t even feel like analyzing it very much. Why? Because that 15 points throws everything off. Who ever wins it (Hines or Chelsea) is pretty much guaranteed a spot in the finale – more so Hines than Chelsea. I just don’t get the sense that Chelsea would last beyond this week without it. Now, I could certainly be wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. Now is the time when lots of people simply vote for the best dancer. Technically, that would be Chelsea. BUT, they also tend to vote for the most pleasing and entertaining couple – and any of the remaining three could be that couple. I think this is the first season where we have three relatively equal people in terms of entertainment/pleasing value and then a fourth couple that is the best in terms of dancing. It’s actually quite strange and I don’t think I can predict what will happen. If the bonus dance wasn’t a factor, my guess is that Chelsea would go home and my second choice, believe it or not, would be Hines – I think perhaps he peaked too early. BUT, Kirstie, Ralph and Hines all have, I would guess, sizable fanbases.

I am very conflicted. I think either Hines or Chelsea will win the bonus dance. I think if Hines wins it he is definitely in the finale. I think if Chelsea wins it, the fans of the other three have a shot, but ultimately Chelsea will stick around. If Chelsea doesn’t win the 15 points, I think she stands a good chance of going home. Beyond that? I got nuthin.

May 15, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS12 Week 7 – The Cheesecake Awards!!

Heidi here, again – I should change the author of the post to save myself the trouble. :-) Anyway, this would have been posted 4 hours ago except that I fell asleep while waiting for Courtney….okay, I’m kinda kidding. I did fall asleep but according to my time line, my nap coincided with her getting done.  Hey!! I busted my ass all morning long!! I cleaned out TWO closets, bagged stuff for Goodwill and made a trip to the dumpster. So there.  Anyway…on with the show…

The Salt in the Wound Award: Brooke Burke

Courtney: Everyone’s favorite flaky cohost had an uncanny way of asking questions this week that seemed to make the answerers feel like poop :-) She made sure to ask Ralph how it felt to be the old guy on Team Chelsea. She asked Romeo how it felt to be the last one picked.  She reminded Team Hines that Chelsie had referred to them as “old parents”.  Wow Brooke, you sure know how to make the contestants feel like a million bucks :-)

Heidi: Now that you mention it, I did find myself saying STFU an awful lot…

Len Goodman Creepy Old Guy Phrase O’ the Week: “And the boobie prize goes to…”

Courtney: Was I the only one that saw a moment of utter disgust on Kendra, Kirstie, & Kym’s faces when Len announced that their team had won the “Boobie Prize”? They all looked down at their ample bosoms (of which Kym’s Awesome Boobage still reigns supreme ;-)) and then looked up in horror.

Heidi:I feel dirty.

DWTS Sexual harassment Lawsuit Fodder O’ the Week: Romeo’s declaration of there being “a party in my pants…and everyone’s invited!”

Courtney: I’m sure Bruno has already RSVP’d.

Heidi: I’m sure the place will be packed.

The “You Started it!” Award, a.k.a. Payback is a Beyotch Award: The Tag Team of Len Goodman and Tom Bergeron for video of Mark confronting Len and the declaration of “I don’t know what he’s moaning about…Maybe it’s Youth”.

Heidi: Ya know, I gotta laugh at that, because when you act like a brat on this show, you have to know there will be consequences.  Last week Tom and the producers got Bruno with the Elton John video. This week was Mark’s turn – act pouty and sulky and make non-obscene gestures which everyone around you then has to explain away as a secret hand gesture between you and your father, confront Len, complain about Len – and well, gee, you have to know that there could be repercussions. :-)  Funny ones.  So, they show the “confrontation” and then Tom and Len proceed to talk about Mark. Tom essentially gives Len a platform to come back and Mark has to grin and bear it. But the VERY best part of the whole exchange was the declaration by Len: “I don’t know what he’s moaning about. Maybe it’s youth”. It made me think that perhaps Mark and Chelsea shouldn’t have excused all their varied activities (risks, etc.) on being young. :-D It might come back on you at some point. Of course, Tom had to come back with, “You don’t remember that, do you.” Great thing about Len is he can laugh when Tom makes cracks about him.

Courtney: I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a certain smug satisfaction from seeing Mark squirm uncomfortably as Tom & Len talked about him in the 3rd person :-) And yes, as “unfair” as the show may seem to some, karma always comes back to either reward or punish people – granted, it may take a season or two, but payback’s a bitch regardless…trust me, I know her personally ;-) But you’d think by now that most of these pros would be cognizant of the fact that the cameras catch EVERYTHING…and they’ll use that footage however they see fit to garner ratings.  Just like you have no room to bitch & moan if you know Len hates “edgy” and he gives you bad scores when you do “edgy”, you also can’t complain about being painted in a bad light due to the footage they choose to show of you.  Lessons to be learned in your “youth”, dear Mark…

Best Use of Chemistry (and I don’t mean drugs), Week 7: Hines and Kym for their confessional as shown on the results show.

Heidi: Seriously, what was Hines doing with another woman the other night when he and Kym are the cutest things ever? Their confessional was, once again, the cutest thing about the results show. Kym’s going on and on about how Hines “took control” of her, blah blah and he grabs her arm and yanks her toward him and she’s all “Oh hello” – was she purring? I might have. :-) Wait…is this more than you needed to know about me? ;-)

Courtney: Idk, as much flak as this is probably gonna get me, Hines is in the doghouse with me right now – not for the whole accidental run-in with the law nonsense, but because he was with some “mystery woman” and not She of the Awesome Boobage.  Seriously – if there’s anyone in the cast that I think is mere inches away from a tawdry late-night, post-rehearsal rendezvous at the Chateau Marmont, it’s these two.  Such cute, genuine chemistry between them – on the floor and off.  I am a total Hinenkym shipper.  Their cute kids would emerge from the womb ready to model for United Colors of Benetton. :-)

Best Excuse for Screwing Up a Dance, Season 7 thus far: Kirstie Ally – “I kissed you and everything’s a blur after that.”

Heidi: No wonder Maks loves her – who wouldn’t love a constant ego boost. :-) And she’s just so dang funny about it while seeming as straight forward as you can get. It’s quite endearing.

Courtney: Kirstie, you wise & wily little minx – you know quite well that flattery will get you everywhere when it comes to a certain virile, macho Russian.  And you know that comedy will get you everywhere with the audience – only you would be able to turn kissing & bad juju into acceptable excuses for poor performances. :-)

Award For Open Mic Moment That Was Most Reminiscent of a Porn Movie: Karina (and Ralph)

Heidi: Um, not that I watch porn. No siree, not me. Ahem. Anyway, when they replay parts of the dance with the mics open on the couple, Karina *squeals* when Ralph drags her over the bar, then you hear a lot of heavy breathing, then Ralph says, “You Okay” and Karina pants “Yes”. Come ON!! That is so porno. No wonder I love Ralph. ;-) Is this too much about me again? :-)

Courtney: Ahem.  Well, those of you that follow me on Twitter know that I am quite openly a fan of “adult films”.  But we’ll leave that at that for now.  Anywho! If Stevie Wonder had been watching-er, LISTENING to the show, he may have gotten the wrong idea, based on the exchange that was heard following the 2nd “fall heard round the world”.  Oh Ralphie, you stud you – you and that fire down below! :-P

Award for Stupidest Time Filler in the History (probably, so far) of the Show: Pros and their Celebs, One on One

Heidi: CUT THE SHOW TO AN HOUR. Please. I beg you. Don’t feed me any more crap like this craptastic crap-fest. Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, the next two awards will be birthed from the crapfest, so while I beg you to STOP the f@#king melodrama, I also have to say thank you. :-)

Courtney: Dumb, scripted poppycock. I was waiting for a suitcase of cash and some drugs to exchange hands…or the Feds to burst in or something.  I was disappointed. :-(

Award for Best Rejection in the Stupidest Time Filler in History: Maksim Chmerkovskiy for his response to Kirstie Alley’s long winded request of what she needs for a good partnership followed by: “Deal?” Maks: “Probably not”.

Heidi: I got the feeling that Maks also thought it was the stupidest time filler in the history of the show. :-) When it’s Kirstie and Maks, he can say shit like this and make it the most endearing and funny thing ever. Context is everything.

Courtney: As I said previously in the season, I think these two were the first to really realize what a f*cking joke the show can be sometimes – and their brand of “playing along” involves some very tongue-in-cheek exchanges. This was no exception :-) I’m interested to see what kind of humor they bring to the table as the finale approaches…because we all know the amount of nonsense we’re made to sit through is directly proportional to how far along we are in the competition.  Yay.

Award for Best Ridicule of the Stupidest Time Filler in History: Tom Bergeron for “We had to kick out a poker tournament and 3 psychics to get that space!!”

Heidi: BURN. Well done, Tommy B. :-)

Courtney: Bah, I think Tom’s prolly exaggerating – Miss Cleo got shut down how many years ago? That room was probably bank-owned and sitting abandoned in a warehouse in Fresno –  I bet the location scout tasked with procuring a space for that bit nabbed it for pennies on the dollar and blew the rest of his budget on Cuervo. :-)

Tom Bergeron Line O’the Night: “Romeo has found that you’re never too imperiled to plug.” Honorable Mention: “The audience is all calmed down now that I’ve blamed everything on the producers.”

Heidi: Tom finally addressed what everyone noticed a while ago – that Romeo works this show like the media tool it was meant to be. :-) LOL. And then Tom sneaks in another dig at who REALLY makes him put people in jeopardy (and who are responsible for Pia pimpage, stupidest time filler in the history of the show, craptastic songs that don’t go with the dances they’re being used for, etc.) – those pesky producers. Tom was back in fine form after a week where everything (and not just him) seemed a bit forced.

Courtney: Hey, can’t blame the kid – if elimination is likely immenint, you may as well try to get people to come see you elsewhere :-) Sublimal message in Tom’s line about the producers: “Conrad Green is a turd. You will write many letters to the network demanding that he be replaced.  And you will protest outside the office of the Primetime Emmy Awards committee until they agree to fix the results of the Best Reality TV Host competition in my favor.”

Heidi: Man…EVERY year Tommy is robbed in favor of he of the massive dimples – The Probst.  Probst, sit out a season – you are massively edited to get the best results whereas Tom is LIVE every week and never misses a beat!!  The man is deserving!!

May 7, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 12, Week 7 – What if??

What if? What if Donny hadn’t been around to muck up the scoring?? What if there hadn’t been a team dance? Well, that second one is less interesting because Donny caused issues all by himself. :-) Seriously, there is always a team dance, so I won’t really talk about that unless someone is desperate to know. Anyway, Courtney said to me, on Twitter – hey, you know, we should have a numbers post showing what the impact was of Donny and the Team dances. My response? Well, gee, I already ran those numbers. :-)

So, you remember the actual scores right?? Kendra ended up going home, which meant that Romeo and Kirstie both got at least 2,660 more votes per million votes cast than she did – not a huge number by any stretch of the imagination. I figured that Kirstie was easily safe, but the question was between Romeo and Kendra – which one had more fans?? Had Romeo really gained a fanbase? Had Kendra turned people off?? Well, really, when you look at that number of 2,660 that is NOT a lot. It doesn’t truly require that Kendra have turned people off or Romeo gaining a huge fanbase. We’ve had similar discussions regarding Bristol and it’s not a huge effort to get that number – literally only 0.26 percent difference in this case, between Kendra and Romeo. That could be five people working really hard. :-) Here are the numbers WITH Donny’s scores and the team dances included:

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Ralph 66 17.51
2. Hines 66 17.51
3. Chelsea 64 16.98
4. Kendra 61 16.18
5. Kirstie 60 15.92
6. Romeo 60 15.92

Now, look at the exact same table with Donny’s scores removed completely:

The Judges Scores and Percentages, Sans Donny

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Hines 50 17.79
2. Ralph 48 17.08
3. Chelsea 48 17.08
4. Kendra 46 16.37
5. Romeo 45 16.01
6. Kirstie 44 15.66

As you can see, removing Donny’s scores makes a difference. Part of the difference is that the extra score increases the total and therefore decreases the spread. BUT, the fact of the matter is that Donny gave a few wacky scores that impacted the overall positioning of the couples. Here’s what Donny did:

The Donny Effect

Celebrity Score
Hines 9
Ralph 10
Chelsea 8
Kendra 8
Romeo 7
Kirstie 9

Now, I love Kirstie, but that 9 is Cuh-razy. Donny is essentially responsible with putting Ralph in first place and seriously reducing the number of votes Kirstie and Romeo needed to stay over Kendra. Would him not being there have changed who went home? We will never know – but we can speculate. :-) With the Donny-free total scores, Kirstie is the new last place finisher and needs the following to stick around:

– Kirstie needs 3,600 more votes per million votes cast in order to stay over Romeo, OR;
– Kirstie needs 7,200 more votes per million votes cast in order to stay over Kendra.

Now, what do you think?? The way it ACTUALLY played out she only needed ONE more vote than Romeo OR 2,660 more votes per million than Kendra. That’s a pretty sizable difference…unless your name is Kirstie, IMO. Remember, she only needs to achieve ONE of those goals above, not both. I think she still would have managed Romeo, easily, but you just never know. What about Romeo? What happens to his chances of going home?? Romeo needs the following to still stick around:

– Romeo needs Kirstie to NOT get 3,600 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;
– Romeo needs to get 3,600 more votes per million votes cast than Kendra.

This, I’m not sure about. The difference is that he’s ahead of Kirstie by a nice cushion – but the difference between him and Kendra is larger by a thousand or so votes and I have a feeling that it was pretty close between them. We *know* that he got at least 2,660 more votes per million than Kendra did and we know that Kirstie did too…but what about that extra thousand??

My instinct is that nothing would have actually changed. But 7,200 is a good bit more than 2,660. Like I said, we will never know – but what do you think?

May 4, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

SPOILERS!!! DWTS Season 12, Week 7 – The Results

Well, well, well….I am somewhat happy to have been wrong because I do think that Romeo has been steadily improving. But I was starting to like Kendra as well…that’s right folks, my number 2 choice based on the numbers has exited the ballroom. Hee – I also called it right re: Mark and Chelsea being in jeopardy up to the last minute. Watch your hands, boy. :-)

Tomorrow, I’m going to run all the numbers a different way that will show how the extra judge skewed the results and actually gave Romeo the shot at staying around over Kendra. He made it easier, anyway.

May 3, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 12, Week 7 – Dancing by the Numbers

:::sigh::: I will say, thank god for Ralph and Hines, because the show really wasn’t happening for me until they danced. The team dances were okay, but I thought that Team Hines was the clear favorite, both with the studio audience and certainly with me. Ya know, if both teams have technical issues, give an edge to the more entertaining team. For me that was certainly Hines’ team, even though I love Ralph.

Note to the judges – you are ONLY helping the low scoring dancers by giving everyone the same score on the team dance. When you add in that extra 180 points to the total and then divide that into the total score of each couple, you have roughly cut the spread in half. And with it goes the number of votes needed per million cast for a lesser dancer to stay over a better dancer. Essentially, for Romeo to “beat” Ralph, he only needs 16k votes, instead of 30k votes per million votes cast. That’s HUGE. I really don’t think these guys understand the impact of how they score. Are they really good actors that they can drum up faux outrage when a good dancer lands under the red light of doom? Not that I think Ralph is in any danger. I don’t. But they gave Kendra the old helping hand, didn’t they?

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Ralph 66 17.51
2. Hines 66 17.51
3. Chelsea 64 16.98
4. Kendra 61 16.18
5. Kirstie 60 15.92
6. Romeo 60 15.92

So, what does all this mean, when combined with my comments above about the team dance? Well, really, I think the only ones REALLY safe are the two at the very top of the leaderboard – Ralph and Hines. I would be surprised by NO ONE else going home. It will all hinge on how hard the fans voted. The problems I see in the near term are with Kirstie and Chelsea – Kirstie is not dancing well and may be wearing out her welcome, and judging by the comments here and elsewhere, Mark is DEFINITELY wearing out his welcome. How long is the average voter just going to vote for Kirstie because they love her and Maks together (like me)? How long are those who used to love Mark going to hold out and keep voting for bad behavior?? This is what I have to ask myself when I look at these numbers. Another problem, as I see it, is Kendra – I’m starting to like her again. She seems to have wrapped her head around ballroom and is having fun. I bet I’m not alone in that. What all this spells for me, still, is that Romeo in trouble, since I think Kirstie has one more week in her and Chelsea’s score MAY be high enough.

Anyway, down to the nitty gritty…Romeo and Kirstie are the low scorers of the night. What do they need in order to stick around? One or the other of them needs ONE of the following things to happen:

– One of them gets ONE more vote per million votes cast than the other, OR;
– One of them gets 2,660 more votes per million votes cast than Kendra, OR;
– One of them gets 10,650 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea, OR (unlikely);
– One of them gets 16k more votes per million votes cast than either Ralph or Hines.

Now you can see why I am pretty sure that Ralph and Hines are safe. At the very least, I don’t think Romeo is going to pull that many more votes (in addition to everyone else getting way more votes) than Ralph or Hines in order for one of them to leave. Remember, not only does Romeo really have to score the votes for one of them to go, but everyone with a lesser score than them would ALSO have to get way more votes than them. But I skip ahead. :-) So, I’m calling Ralph and Hines safe. But what if Romeo, along with Kirstie, is charming the crowd like crazy (despite both having bad dances last night)?? What if they both get the votes to pass Kendra? Let’s say they both get the 2,660 votes each, per million, to pass her? What would it take for the “shocking elimination” of Chelsea to occur? ALL of the following would have to happen:

– Kendra gets 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea, AND;
– Romeo and Kirstie BOTH have to get 10,650 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea.

If all three of those people get those votes, Chelsea goes home, provided that she doesn’t get more votes than Hines and Ralph and I really don’t see that happening. But then, I don’t see Romeo getting the required votes to outlast Chelsea, so I think she’s safe.

Just for fun, let’s look at the requirements for a SSE – Seriously Shocking Elimination. :-) What would it take for either Hines or Ralph to go home?? For either of them to get the boot, ALL of the following would have to happen:

– Romeo AND Kirstie both get 16k more votes per million votes cast; AND,
– Kendra gets 13,300 more votes per million votes cast than one of them; AND,
– Chelsea gets 5,350 more votes per million votes cast than one of them; AND,
– One of them gets ONE more vote per million votes cast than the other one of them. :-)

Nah. Just don’t see it. My feeling is that it will come down to Kendra and Romeo with Romeo going home – of course, they’ll put Chelsea or Kirstie in “jeopardy”…probably because of Mark’s behavior or they want to boost Kirstie’s votes, which ever feeling is stronger in the producers guts. :-) That we’ll have to see about. I obliquely stated it above, but to clarify, for Kendra to leave both Kirstie and Romeo would have to get 2,660 more votes per million votes cast and all the other dancers get more votes than her as well. Kirstie? No problem, I don’t think (but one can never tell when charm won’t get you past bad dancing anymore). Romeo? Tough call. I like the guy. But is he more well liked that Kendra?? That’s really not very many votes, but Kendra has a more regular presence on TV than Romeo does and therefore, theoretically, more fans. Actually, by giving everyone the same score on the team dances, the judges helped Romeo as much as they did Kendra.

Very sad to say, I think we may have seen the last of Romeo…if not him, then Kendra. Kirstie? You are on notice, honey – you desperately need a good dance next week. Mark, straighten up, because 10k for Romeo and Kirstie isn’t out of the realm if you keep misbehaving. You never know what will make an audience turn on you. A part of me would NOT be surprised for you to be the “shocking elimination” this week. A small part. :-) I think you’re lucky Romeo had a bad dance. It will be interesting to see what happens if I’m wrong. ;-)

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Pure DWTS 12, Week 7 – Interviews After Dance Night (Videos)

George Pennacchio of ABC LA/On The Red Carpet reviews and interviewers our 6 dancing couples from last night after the show. Once again, he does such a good job and gets down to the nitty gritty of it all.

First Up, here is Kirstie and Maks on the most controversial scores of the Season and their characters for their dance. Maks explained what happened in rehearsal this past week. He doesn’t want to back off of Kirstie because he knows how well she can dance;

Romeo is defensive about his dance last night. He wants to come back next week to “show those judges”;

Hines and Kym talk on the pressure of a 4th judge added and a legend. But, Hines is having a blast and wants to continue to give it his all.

Karina and Ralph are much happier with their dance last night versus their dance last week. They loved the “10” they received, but, Karina questions the “8” Len gave them.

Kendra and Louis are in the middle and happy with this position. Kendra says they are slowly climbing their way to the top. (I’m starting to soften on her a little. Her attitude is a little better and she’s settling in more.)

Mark and Chelsea talk about the talent of his Mom and how she helped them this week with her honesty. Mark wasn’t happy with the scores the week (like always). He says “whatever”. (now these two I am not softening on in the least. I’m only more annoyed. Mark seems bitter and spoiled.)

Here is ET Online interviewing all of our couples. Kirstie talks about the planned kiss. Ralph and Hines talk on their 10’s. Kendra tells us that Louis designed her dress after Barbie(I liked it, did you?). Chelsea now knows where Mark gets his drive>>> from his MOM!

Access Hollywood interviewed our couples as well last night. Here is one I thought was particularly interesting. Maks talks about his experience during 9-11. More videos at the link.

Stay tuned to this spot. I may add more videos later. ;)

I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.