Tuesday night, Dancing With The Pro dancers and couple, Peta Murgatroyd and Damian Whitewood, graced the Red Carpet (actually from what Damian tweeted it was GREEN carpet instead!!) at the The Htc Status Social Launch Event Held At Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, CA. According to Peta’s tweets, she was wearing two Australian labels Pascucci Couture and Shoe Dazzle. You can view some high quality photos of the two HERE and HERE. Peta also posted this picture at her twitter. Gorgeous!
Today at twitter, @DWTSGossip is reporting 12 couples will be dancing on Season 13 of Dancing With The Stars. She also mentions the “new segment” for which several of the pros have been tweeting on and we’ve been reporting on in the past. Apparently, the new segment will be called “Ballroom Battle”. More details below from @DWTSGossip.
Season 13 of DWTS will return in a true fall fashion with 12 couples.
As some of you may already know, dwts will have a new segment. It’s called Ballroom Battle. Karina, Tony, Mark, Cheryl, Lacey,and Louis will be forming teams. They will all field one couple and coach/choreograph them. The pros will still compete with their celebs if they are asked back. This is an additional segment.
She doesn’t mention Maks, but, I think he’ll be involved too since he and Tony are running the same studio.
Anyway, this sounds fun and different. I can’t wait to see what it’s about. I also tend to think the pros above listed will be asked to come back to compete with a celebrity, do you? If true, add Derek Hough to the list, and that makes 8 competing dancers. This leaves 4 vacant spots. I pray Damian Whitewood and Peta Murgatroyd will be asked.
Heidi’s Note: I’m not sure I agree. While it will be a cool segment – think of the additional burden it puts on the pros DURING the season. So they would have a partner they will have to work with every day AND an amature couple for this other competition?? Sounds like someone is asking to get injured. Please leave Derek off this list. I think that because of the work load burden, it is absolutely NOT a guarantee that those pros will also field partners. Who is left besides those 5? Derek, Maks, Chelsey, Anna, Kym, Dmitry, Damian, and Corky? Add Jonathan? Also adding Peta gets you up to ten. Are they going to promote some of the Troupe? Wasn’t the whole point of the Troupe to relieve some of the pro dance burdens on the competing pros?? Doesn’t this exercise add that burden back in and even increase it?? That said, I can certainly see why pros who own studios would want to do it – it will be great PR. The kind of PR you can’t buy, actually.
Pure Dancing With The Stars reader, Carlos Lustosa, has a new update for us on Pamela Anderson and Damian Whitewood dancing in Argentina. This week the two had to dance an “Axé” which Carlos says looks similar to “choreographed aerobics”. From Carlos;
Guys, as I said, the rhythm for this week is “Axé”. Axé is the term that holds a lot of carnaval rhythms from Bahia (a State of Brazil) the propper axé (that is faster than the samba we have in Rio), and others like galope, samba-reggae, samba-duro, etc.
so, what can I san? It’s more a solo dance than a couple dance. Sometimes it looks like “choreographed aerobics” =p
Below is an example from the Brazilian Axé icon, Ivete Sangalo:
Carlos reports that Pam was ‘gorgeous as ever’, but, “she danced a Latin Samba”. Damian got bad comments from some of the judges for not making a propper axé. I just checked Damian’s facebook page. A few fans are describing the judges critique of the two as “embarrassing” and “disgusting”. Here is their dance below. I think they are steaming it up as always.
You can view a cool picture of the two here. You are right, Carlos. Pam looks beautiful!!
FASCINATING again!!! Carlos, a BIG thank you!! I am enjoying this so much!!!! Keep us updated when you can!!!
For those interested and if you haven’t done so, check out our first posting and the comment section with more of Pamela and Damian dancing in Argentina.
Since Argentina doesn’t share the same language, it’s been hard to report on their version of Dancing With The Stars. As some of you might know, Damian Whitewood and Pamela Anderson are contestants. So far, they’ve been very popular on the show as well as Boxing champ, Mike Tyson. Not only did Damian and Pamela delight many of us with their dancing in Season 10 (they have been one of my favorite couples to ever dance on the show!), they are doing the same in Argentina…and maybe even more so? Thanks to PureDWTS reader Carlos Lustosa, below is some video footage. In Carlos’ own words, “This show is soooooooo freak that it is irresistible. ahahahahaha”.
Here they are doing the Rumba….
Damian also posted this picture of Pamela on his facebook page.
According to Carlos, the best contestant on the Argentina version of Dancing With The Stars is a dwarf named Noelia. He said “She’s simply amazing. Not Kidding.” You can see Noelia doing a Cha Cha with her partner below…
Here is more from Carlos on the show:
uh, let me just do a review about this season of Bailando… and some latin american versions of SCD/DwtS
This is the 8th season of “argentine dwts” “Bailando por un sueño” and is called just “Bailando 2011″. At first seasons, the show was like this: a star was paired with a “dreamer” (sueñador) and helped him to realize his dream (sueño), that’s why the show was called “Bailando por un sueño” (Dancing for a dream). As long as the couple keeps on competition, more money it earn.
Nowadays, the show is more like DwtS and this season has 30 couples. THIRTY. Most known people are Mike Tyson and Pamela Anderson. Don’t know if you like soccer but the paraguayan muse of 2010 world cup Larissa Riquelme was dancing ther, but left the competition last week due to a injuried knee. Ah, theres a couple of 2 guys, this season (the journalist José María Muscari and partner Emanuel González. video chacha)
As for the judges: there are 5 of them. Each week one of them gives a “secret score” wich will be revealed just on result, after the viewers votes. If you thik that CAI, Bruno and Len are inconstant with their scores, think again. The score difference between the argentinian judges is ridiculous. One can give an 10 and the other a 5, for example. (We don’t see this even on british strictly come dancing…)
Have to say that this version is extremely “lascivious”… there are some sexy-sexy-sexier dances of all DwtS-like shows, such as strip dance and pole dancing.
On former seasons, there were some rhythms that are not well known on DwtS, as merengue, lambada, a lot of salsa styles – cubana (cuban), quebradita (don’t know who to translate… something like broken-y), milonga (kind of fast tango… love this dance) -, cumbia, samba (not the latin ballroom, but the brazilian), axé (a brazilian dance from carnaval of Bahia)…
And if you think that’s all you didnt’ see the peruvian, mexican, ecuadorian versions. Guys, the peruvian version is… I can’t describe, you have to see. On this versions there are some classics like arabian dance, pole dancing, reggaeton, and some dances the do on a different weather… for example they have LAMBADA IN THE RAIN.
Video (delly and josé luis, the winners of their season)
Here in Brazil the show is called “Dança dos Famosos” (Famous’ Dance or Stars Dance) is very boring. The production is not a propper show but a part of a sunday show, so, not that good and very far from the US version (wich is a shame) and from the latin american ones (thanks god! ahaha)… but, I like the fact we have some brazilian rhythms such as forró, samba (gafieira) (good video), lambada, and dances that are very common here like bolero, rock (soltinho), and of course, salsa, tango.
If you have time, check axé in the rain, from peruvian Reyes de la Pista (Kings of dance floor): Video (Axé – pronouce almost “ashae”. Detail: 1:50)
Be sure to watch the “comment” section of this post. Carlos is planning to keep us updated!!
Carlos, thanks so much!! This is fun and so fascinating!
And Dancing With The Stars producers if you are reading this, PLEASE BRING BACK DAMIAN WHITEWOOD!!!
Would you believe odds makers in Las Vegas are already making predictions for which professional will win Season 13? Take a look below at the numbers. They’ve got Derek Hough and Mark Ballas placed neck and neck at first. Cheryl Burke and Maks Chmerkovskiy are tied at second with Anna Trebunskaya and Lacey Schwimmer in third. Even though they deny it at the link, sometimes I have to wonder what they know that we don’t…or is it vice versa? What about Kym Johnson? Have they forgotten she won Season 12? More below…
Although none of these rumors have been confirmed by the stars or producers of Dancing With The Stars, more times than not, the rumors ring true. Online sportsbooks tend to have a good idea of what is what with reality television and although the current entertainment betting odds listed are lines on the gender of the winner of season 13, it is likely that we will see one of those names as a betting odd once the announcement of the stars of season 13 is made official.
Derek Hough +550
Mark Ballas +550
Cheryl Burke +700
Maksim Chmerkovskiy +700
Anna Trebunskaya +900
Lacey Schwimmer +900
Chelsie Hightower +1000
Kym Johnson +1000
Karina Smirnoff +1200
Dmitry Chaplin +1600
Louis van Amstel +2500
Tony Dovolani +2500
Alec Mazo +3000
Edyta Sliwinska +3000
Jonathan Roberts +3300
Anna Demidova +4000
Ashly DelGrosso +4000
Damian Whitewood +4000
Corky Ballas +5000
Elena Grinenko +6600
Inna Brayer +6600
Jesse DeSoto +6600
Andrea Hale +8000
Brian Fortuna +8000
Charlotte Jorgensen +8000
Fabian Sanchez +8000
Nick Kosovich +10000
Whatever happens, I hope Derek is back and we see him and Maks in the Finals!! I’d like to see Damian dance next season and I hope he reaches the Finals as well. Same with Anna! Which pros would you like to see in the Finals?
DWTS 12 – DWTS Alumni & Pros, Stevie Nicks, Pitbull Featuring Ne-Yo To Perform On Dancing With The Stars
Along with our 4 remaining couples competing for the semi-finals where they will perform three dances, previous Season Champions, Stevie Nicks, and Pitbull Featuring Ne-Yo will be performing. More details below and at ABC Medianet. This is getting even more exciting as we inch closer to Monday and Tuesday nights. Who’s ready?
“Episode 1209″ – The competition is closer than ever as the four remaining pairs perform three pressure packed routines — one ballroom and one Latin dance they’ve not yet done, and one winner-takes-all Cha Cha – for the chance to make it to the Season 12 finals, on “Dancing with the Stars,” MONDAY, MAY 16 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET/PT), on the ABC Television Network.
Tuesday’s exciting two-hours of dance begin with “Dancing with the Stars Live: Freestyle Special,” in which “DWTS” alums Apolo Anton Ohno (Season 4 champion), Donnie Osmond (Season 9 champion), Warren Sapp (Season 7 finalist) return to the ballroom to provide color commentary on their memorable individual freestyle routines. In addition, “DWTS” pros and the dance troupe perform two medleys to some of the best music from past freestyles. Season 2 winners Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke will also be back to perform their fan favorite freestyle, “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy,” on “Dancing with the Stars Live: Freestyle Special,” TUESDAY, MAY 10 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).
Then, on “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show: Episode 1209A,” TUESDAY, MAY 17, (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET), one semifinalist couple will leave the ballroom and the three Season 12 finalist couples will be determined. On this action packed Results show, guest musical artist, Grammy Award-winning and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Stevie Nicks performs two songs, the iconic “Landslide,” accompanied by Tony and Cheryl on the dance floor, and the new single “Secret Love” from “In Your Dreams” — her first new CD in over a decade — accompanied by Dmitry, Anna, Peta and Damian on the dance floor. Also this Tuesday, music sensation Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo and Nayer perform his single, “Give Me Everything,” from his newest album, “Planet Pit.”
This week’s powerful “Spotlight Segment” features the moment of a lifetime for 13-year-old Tayla Kelley, as she performs to “Bulletproof” with “DWTS” pros Lacey Schwimmer and Chelsie Hightower. Born with Primary Immune Deficiency Disease, the Rochester native has spent her entire childhood unable to fight infection, which has led to multiple surgeries, organ failure and shortened life expectancy. Despite these insurmountable odds, Kelley has found inspiration and strength to fight this severe, chronic illness through dance since age 2, and was recently recruited by the Timothy M. Draper School of Dance the training school for the Rochester city Ballet.
I can’t wait to see Damian Whitewood again!!
Posted at Todd Michael Krim’s Facebook page, above is a picture of Damian and Peta at a Pre-Oscar “Dare To Care” Party in West Hollywood last night. Other celebrities also showed up at this event such as Jamie Lee Curtis, rumored cast member LeAnn Rimes and former DWTS contestants Jennifer Grey, Lance Bass, and Mario Lopez.
Peta and Damian have to be the most requested pro-couple to dance on the show this year (along with Jonathan and Anna). I hope DWTS execs are listening!!!! *Loves these two so much!
IT’S ALMOST TIME!!!!!
Well, it’s about that time again, folks, and even though we are having a Hough-less season I find myself very excited to start this all over again!! Last season was rough there at the end and I’m looking forward to a fresh start – the time off (mostly) did me good. So where are we on the pros?? Well, the only thing certain right now is Derek is out. Most of the remaining pros appear to be assembling in LA, including Damian and Peta – although I’m not sure where Maks and Tony are. But do they really need to be in LA to find out?
Check back here often – we will update this post as we go. With my luck stuff will happen when I’m unavailable. But maybe Courtney and John can update if they don’t see me do something rather quickly and can’t get me online. Here’s the list we’re starting with – I’ve intentionally left out Alec and Edyta based on their tweets, but let us know if I’ve neglected anyone.
Derek – Out for Season 12; filming Cobu 3D
Maks – ??
Mark – Per @BewitchBallas, his Management says end of next week he finds out.
Louis – IN (see below)
Tony – IN – per Disney News and the tweet shown below
Damian – ??
Dmitry – ??
Jonathan – ??
Corky – ??
Cheryl -IN (changed from tentative to “fer sure” per Cheryl’s Facebook)
Anna T. – ??
Lacey – IN (?? see below)**
Chelsie – IN (? See Video Posted by Vogue)
Karina – ??
Kym – ??
Anna D. – ??
Ashly – ??
Peta Murgatroyd* – ??
Julianne* – ??
*I included Peta and Julianne with the women mainly due to some internet blather about Jules and lots of clues about a potential Peta appearance as a full time pro (really, will the producers be able to resist a new “couple”??).
Lacey tweeted a comment not too long ago to Derek saying something like “I’m excited to be your dance class buddy” – people took this several different ways. Some thinking it meant she was out for the season and working her Dad’s studio, and Derek was participating in some way. I took it to mean that Derek was taking lessons related to his movie, and she and/or her dad was somehow involved. It could be both, I suppose, but Lacey has been abnormally quiet on the subject of DWTS and I can usually rely on her to blab. Times like this I actually LOVE that about her. But if I find out she has a part in Derek’s movie, I may go postal. You’ve been warned.
Cheryl and Mark fully intend to be on this season and are waiting to find out if they are or not. I think some questioned whether they would be around based on Cheryl’s book tour and Mark’s music related activities. Louis also wants to be on the show pretty badly, based on his excitement over finding out. The rest, as far as I can tell, have been pretty mum on the subject. TALK, PEOPLE!!
ETA: Think Lacey is in??
ETA 2: How about Louis?? I’ve updated the tweet I had with the one below – when someone tweeted asking if that meant he was on DWTS for sure, he responded with only a wink.
ETA 3: Tony doesn’t usually say, as I recall, but I’ll take his smile here as a yes.
Well, let’s see. What have we got here today? Not much really since it’s the off season. But, hey if you are like me, all things count even if it’s a little scrap. lol
So, first of all, it’s Carrie Ann’s 43rd birthday today. So, be sure to send her a little birthday tweet if you get the chance.
Next, ThatsFit.com has a new interview up with Brooke. She looks amazing and has some great advise on how she keeps fit.
Mark Ballas has done a new photoshoot for “Regard Magazine“. Here is some behind the scenes footage of him singing and playing his guitar for the new issue.
Also, Mark was interviewed while in Pittsburg when he was recently performing in “Burn The Floor”. He talks about the benefits of dance and what it can bring to your life.
For all of you Derek lovers like myself and thanks to Heidi and Pure Derek Hough, here is a pic of Derek taken this past week in Cape Town, South Africa with Cheryl Cole. Last week, the tabloids made such a big deal over them having their first public kiss. You would have thought the world as we know it had come to an end and now they have Cheryl wanting his babies. lol Seriously, why won’t let they leave these two be in peace and let them date already? You wouldn’t think it would be that big of deal. And I think they are indeed good enough for each other despite what some tabloids and fans questioning it. I mean….shouldn’t that be up to them and not us anyway?
If any of you live or are in the vicinity of Panama City, Florida on Jan. 16th, you can see Anna and Jonathan perform in a new “Bravo” Showcase benefitting the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. Here is more information from Panhandle Parade.
Professional dancers, Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya from ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” will be performing in the showcase.
Tickets are $25 for general admission and $50 for VIP tickets which will include the “after party” at the Shrimp Boat Restaurant.
The VIP tickets allow you to meet and greet Roberts and Trebunskaya from “Dancing With the Stars”.
Tickets can be purchased by calling 873-6269.
And is this picture not cute or what? This photo is of Peta and Damian celebrating New Years Eve together in Australia (check it out John. She’s got her blonde locks back. ). According to Peta’s facebook page, she will be in her homeland of Australia until February. She’s also posted that she won’t hear from DWTS until mid-February. I imagine this might be the case for all the dancers involved with the show?
This is a cool photo too. Maks posted this of himself, his brother Val, and his Dad on twitter over the holidays when they were in St. Maarten.
Ok, that is all for now. But, before wrapping this up, did any of you see Paula Abdul’s new “Live To Dance” show lastnight and did you like it? I didn’t think I’d like it. But, I found myself glued to it for the full two hours. They found some great talent and I loved the other two judges. Very well put together. Paula may just have a winner here?? Though none of these other dance shows will compare to “Dancing With The Stars”.
Love to All and have a super day or night when you read this!!
Another week, another cheesecake. Beware, there are scary hair stories, penis talk and general bitchiness ahead. You’ve been warned.
The “It’s about Freakin’ TIME!!” Award: The opening pro dance!!!
Heidi: THAT’S what I’m talking about in terms of wanting more pro dances!! That was awesome! Well done.
Courtney: At long last – a pro dance comprised ENTIRELY of pros we know, that is legit ballroom (and not artsy contemporary/ballet), and with believable cha-cha/quickstep music. Was that really so hard, powers that be? ;-) Good to see a lot of familiar faces in addition to this year’s cast – Anna D., Ashly, Damian, Dmitry, Jonathan, and even Inna. Only absence that I really seemed to notice? Alec & Edyta. *sigh* Makes me wish that their split from the show wasn’t quite so bitter…then we might actually have a chance at seeing them in a pro dance. Oh well…c’est la vie. Also gotta give a “Cheesecake Award within a Cheesecake Award” to the wardrobe department for digging up every last silver ladies’ Latin costume they could find for this number…saw Kym’s cha-cha costume from season 9, a few of the dresses from the Team Gaga cha-cha last season, Chelsie’s cha-cha costume from last season, Kym’s freestyle costume from season 7, etc. etc. etc. And before any of you ask – yes, there is another edition of “Who Wore it Better?” on the way…it’s just a matter of me figuring out the time between our other weekly features, my job, vacations, pets, and other commitments. Be patient, it will be worth it
Heidi: You forgot – no annoying interuptions to show the cheesy musical guest. Oh crap. I just realized that we forgot Tom B.’s most awesome faux faint while talking to Taylor Swift. And Courtney’s gone to bed to watch Grey’s Anatomy, leaving me alone with the Cheeeeeese. Well, Tom, not that Taylor’s cheesy or anything – and I thought the bit was good, really – but it wasn’t your best because you PLANNED it. I know this because you said so on Twitter. I still love you and think you deserve 10 Emmy’s though.
The Cheesecake Award for The Cheesiest Cheese that Ever Cheesed: the opening of the Team Dances
Heidi: Laugh out loud on the cheese factor. It was like a prize fight or something. Hilarious. Big heartbeat, dramatic music, steam. Oy veh. Ha, check out Ballas posed on the floor.
Courtney: You may have LOLed…but I cringed and rolled my eyes. The hearbeat sound effect? The smoke? The intimidating pose at the end? Ugh. I don’t ever remember them going to such tacky lengths before for the team dances, and they worked just fine then. The only one who really seemed to get into the drama of it was Mark…surprise, surprise.
Heidi: That was the cheesiest part – he thought he was all bad ass. See Derek make funny faces about it, cut to Mark trying to look like Stallone in Rambo.
Best Use of a Soul Patch by a Non-Ohno Celebrity: Jennifer Grey, Honorable Mention: Brooke Burke.
Heidi: First off, I thought whoever came up with the Soul Patch idea was brilliant – LOVED it. I know I read that it was kind of a last minute thing. I just thought that was a cool homage to their captain. But then to come back from commercial to see Jennifer leaning on Apolo wearing Derek’s – too funny. And Kudos to Brooke for going with the flow and trying to put it on her own face. I just love little things like that – they’re not huge but they make the show more fun.
Courtney: Definitely gave them a creative, humorous little “edge” over Team Kristi, as did the bandanas…then again, what were their opponents supposed to do as an homage to their captain? Do a couple of triple lutzes? They should have asked Derek for an assist…I hear does a passable Yamaguchi impersonation But anyway, back to the soul patch. I think the funniest part of it for me was the fact that it kept falling off of Anna…must’ve been some shittay adhesive! At one point I think it fell down her shirt.
Award for Scariest Pre-Dance Package: Team Apolo
Heidi: After seeing that package I was somewhat convinced their dance was going to be a mess – and I think we likely have the production/editing crew to thank for that. They were so intent on making sure everyone knew that Jennifer was tired that they didn’t seem to really focus on anything else. The rehearsal seemed disorganized and a shambles. Obviously, since they danced so well, that wasn’t the case at all.
Courtney: Once again, I blame those sneaky producers and their sly attempts at making the playing field look far more level than it really is. I knew the team dance was gonna be a homerun for Team Apolo right off the bat, thanks to Kristi’s poor strategy in choosing her team. The 2 best dancers this season (Jennifer & Brandy), a well-matched, lovable couple (Kurt & Anna), and a pro that’s never lost before in a team dance (Derek) – pretty stacked deck, if you ask me. So what did they do to create suspense? Tried to make Team Apolo’s practice look as trainwrecky as humanly possible. Jennifer’s tired! Kurt’s having trouble with the steps! Brandy is having a hard time keeping up! How ever will they beat Team Kristi, the team whose package was all sunshine & rainbows & Bristol shimmying her hips with Lacey & Cheryl??! The answer: pretty easily. Nice try, PTB.
Heidi: I’m pretty sure I saw a rainbow shoot out of Rick’s ass. But Jesus, I didn’t even think that far through it. Those shitheads. Awesome point, oh young but wise one.
Tom Bergeron Line O’ the Night: “You never forget your first” in reference to Mel B pinching his butt. Honorable Mention – “We now join the Bickersons already in progress.”
Heidi: There’s not much we can say about The Bergeron that we haven’t already waxed poetic about. Why this man hasn’t won an Emmy yet, I can’t understand. Step out of the way, Probst, all your shit is pre-taped and edited. (Psst…I love you too, though. Call me.) And that argument between Anna and Kurt was the cutest thing ever – I would have commented on it too, if I were Tom.
Courtney: Tom Bergeron is what made this 200th Episode extravaganza work – all the banter with the returning celebs, the off-the-cuff humor we’ve come to love week after week – he’s just perfect. And forget Probst – the man just looks dramatic while pulling pieces of paper out of a jug. And move over Heidi Klum – Bergeron can say a whole lot more than “Auf Wiedersen”. Now if only Bergeron would win, and Cat Deeley would at least get a nomination…
The Award for Biggest “WTF?” Production Screw Up of the Night: Whoever in production that had their mic “live” so that we heard them laugh and say “thanks Brooke!!” right after she called Rick in jeopardy. (Dis)Honorable Mention – the camera man who failed to have Kurt on camera in the very opening of their dance.
Heidi: Geez oh man, they really had trouble keying the correct mic buttons this week. At least twice I heard production voices when I shouldn’t have, then I heard Tom talking when his mic should have been turned off. The worst was the one regarding Rick. I think Brooke realized that went over the air too, by the look on her face (in watching this back a second time, it actually sounds like Kyle and Lacey). Then there was one during Brandy’s VT prior to her finding out if she was safe or not. I know this is a live show and all, but it’s one you’ve been doing for 5 years, folks. That party champagne start flowing a tad early, did it?? Big goof at the beginning of Kurt’s dance too – nice shot of Anna’s face though.
Courtney: I didn’t catch either of these, and I’m too lazy to go back and watch again right now, so I will take your word for it But yah, seriously – who do they have on their production staff this season? A bunch of orangutans? Seriously sloppy.
Heidi: I wonder if they edit that crap out for the west coast, like when someone does something bad on live TV and the west coast never sees it? Curious.
The Dork of the Week Award: Mark Ballas for his on-going contributions to the awkward nicknames Hall of Fame.
Heidi: Dude, Bristallion? Dork. I mean really, Mark, pretty sure no female wants a nickname that’s partly large, male horse-related. Especially not when Derek is around to shout it at the top of his lungs like he did in the celebraquarium the other night. While we’re at it, let’s talk about why you shouldn’t call her “Bris” – unless you’re talking about when you were a young Jewish boy, I’m pretty sure that one should be dropped entirely from your vocabulary. Then there’s your team name. Ballin?? REALLY?? Do I really need to explain this one to you?? I know others tried, via twitter, to talk you out of that one. Now that I look at this list, it becomes apparent that you have only one thing on your mind. LOL.
Courtney: I think Mark is just grasping at whatever he can to endear Bristol to the masses (although she’s apparently endeared herself enough to make it all the way to the quarterfinals…are tacky nicknames really a necessity?). Bristallion, Bris, Team Ballin, Bristol the Pistol – are you running out of ideas, Mark? Let me help: how bout “Bristol Meth”? Cause she’s got such energy? Oh, and interesting to note: in Cockney rhyming slang (think Basher from Ocean’s Eleven and Austin Powers & his father in Goldmember), “Bristol” is actually slang for “tits”. Can I say tits? Or should I change it to “boobies”? Cause the latter just kinda makes me feel silly.
Heidi: “Boobies” is so 12 year old boy.
The “Way to Bogart Heidi & Courtney’s Cheesecake Awards” Award: The DWTS Awards
Heidi: How many times can we use the word “awards” in one sentence? I believe I actually groaned out loud when Tom announced they were going to hand out awards – the first sign that a show is taking itself too seriously is when it gets all self-congratulatory. But luckily I think the producers were just stealing from me and Courtney and decided to have their own Cheesecake Awards. ;-) Some of their choices were pretty questionable, though, in their effort to actually get a full roster of nominees. In what universe does Kate Gosselin get included in “most dramatic” moment with the likes of Marie fainting or Christian getting hurt?? Then they really fluffed (pardon the expression, boys ;-) ) up the male pro “biggest transformation” award. Mark and Derek? Seriously? Derek cut his hair and has figured out how to grow facial hair (but it’s blond so you can’t see it), and Mark shaved already short hair off. Both have gotten a little more buff, but really, not that big a transformation. I think they really wanted to make fun of Louis’ and Maks’ hair at the end of the day. LOL – and that was some hair guaranteed to get you picked on on the playground, for sure. And I definitely think that Erin should have gotten an award for hitting Maks in the head with her shoe – that was AWESOME.
Courtney: Seriously, powers that be – you’re already annoying me with all the changes you’re making to the show, but now you done pissed me off by deciding to give your own silly ass awards. Ours are far, far superior, just to be clear Agree wholeheartedly about Kate & Tony’s little tiff being included in the “Most Dramatic” category – seems quite trivial and stupid when you’re showing Cristian tearing his bicep and Misty rupturing her Achilles tendon and Marie fainting…and how did I know as soon as they showed that clip that an Osmond was a shoo-in to win the “Most Dramatic” category? Ai ai ai. And yes, the male pro transformation category was for the sole purpose of making fun of Maks’ & Louis’ epically bad long-haired days. Why else do you think they started with the least transformed (Derek, Mark, & Tony)? Enjoyed Len’s bit in the judges’ category – his one-liners, though few & far between, are often nearly as funny as Tom’s – “I’ve seen more romance at a dentist!” “The rumba is the dance of love…this felt more like a couple havin’ a bit of hanky-panky in the back of a Chevy!” “Entertainment runs through your veins like chianti does through Bruno’s!” As for Carrie Ann and Bruno – the former’s was an odd collection of gyrations, cougar behavior, and tears, and the latter…well his was the same, minus the tears. And really guys – Kenny Mayne the worst dancer in DWTS history? Dude, it doesn’t get much worse than Master P…brutally bad, and had no inclination whatsoever to improve. Overall: I wouldn’t let the ding-dongs behind those awards anywhere near the Cheesecake. Heidi & I would have had that audience howling…or completely offended. Who knows.
Heidi: Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m TRYING for “completely offended.” CAI is quite an idiot when you string all her crap together like that. And Bruno – well, where would we be without all that innuendo? Sans tears?
The “If you haven’t got anything nice to say…STFU” Award: Lacey Schwimmer
Heidi: Why the hell does Lacey actually sound mean in the Dancer Transformation segment where the other ladies are actually pretty amusing? Just me and my over all apathy toward Lacey this season? Girl, just because you routinely soak your brain, er, head in bleach doesn’t mean everyone does. Unless Derek has been bleaching since birth, when you two are standing together only one of you has serious peroxide issues. Hint – his beard is ash blond. The boy probably gets highlighted, but I doubt very much that he dyes his beard to match his head. Me thinks she of the head of straw is a tad envious of pretty blond hair. ;-) She’s certainly in NO position to make fun of Maks, Louis or anyone else about their hair and how pony tails aren’t attractive. Her hair looks horrible! Dye it back, already. Ugh. Note to Lacey – me and Court are the only ones allowed to critique. It’s the law of blogs, plus your hair is worse than any of those guys.
Courtney: Once upon a time, back in college, Courtney got bored with her hair (which was jet black at the time – also the product of boredom a few months prior) and decided to go blonde. The result, while not entirely painful to look at, was not ideal – it was quite obvious I was not a natural platinum blonde (my skin is rather olive), my hair was rather dull & frizzy, and it broke off just above the shoulders due to being so completely damaged. It took only a few months of this nonsense (and a ridiculous amount of money to maintain it) to figure out that I was simply not cut out to be a blonde. Lacey, on the other hand – she seems like she hasn’t quite reached that point yet. She is still in the “wow, blondes really do have more fun!” phase where she is convinced that it’s her destiny to be blonde, and that it looks so good on her that she’s in a position to pass judgement on those with natural blonde hair. Hint: if God gave it to you – it probably looks better on you than it does on someone who bought it. I love how she automatically assumes that he bleaches – has she not seen old family pix of the Houghs? Every single one of those children was blessed with full heads of golden hair, no chemical assistance necessary. And as if she knows how terrible her hair looks, she says “If you get any more bleach in your hair, you’re gonna look like me!” Reason enough right there to ditch the bleach, D-Hough. If you really are bleaching, that is.
Heidi: When did this turn into a horror story? :::shudder::: Breaking hair?? I’m a natural redhead – or I was. I’m the kind of redhead that goes very blonde in the sun and after a while it just stayed blonde – so I know not of which you speak but it sounds very, very scary. I think Julianne probably lightens her natural, more ash blonde but that girl has awesome hair. Is Lacey just not spending enough money on it? I really wanna know. Is this a case of Super Cuts versus the Beverly Hills Salon?
Award for the Most Succinct and Apropos Description of the Instant Dance: Brandy
Heidi: In the confessional, she just kinda crossed her eyes and twirled her finger near her ear. Yep, that pretty much sums it up for me, girl.
Courtney: Crack is whack.
The “Coincidence? I think not.” Award: The Cast of SWTS
Heidi: HA!!! Both Bethany and Rebecca Budig were rumored for DWTS and here they are turning up on Skating with the Stars – I’m so good I’m finding hints for shows I didn’t even know existed.
Courtney: Here’s what gets me: Skating with the Stars is not even a new show. Does anyone else remember Skating with Celebrities that aired on FOX about, oh, 4 or 5 years ago? Exact same premise. Nothing at all new or innovative about this incarnation. The winner of that show, Kristy Swanson, actually ended up marrying her skating pro from the show, Lloyd Eisler. And the show got such low ratings that they didn’t even bother with a 2nd season. Will this time around be a smash hit, following on the heels of DWTS? Maybe. But I doubt it. The only reason I’m tuning in is because I’m pretty sure Randall has signed on to do the costumes for that show as well, since I spotted Rebecca donning Nicole’s Argentine tango dress from last season. Ringer pick to win: Olympic skier Johnny Moseley.
Brooke Burke Flub O’ the Week: Saying that Maks had gone to the finals 2 times before…when he’s actually been to the finals 3 times
Courtney: And god bless Maks for calling her out on it! Once again, not sure if they’re feeding her bad info in her earpiece, or she’s trying to improvise this banter, but either way…something is getting lost in translation. My advice to Brooke: if you’re going to throw out anything remotely numbers-related, or really, just facts-related, memorize it prior to the show. Write it on your hand. Come up with a fun pnemonic for it. Have someone write it on a telelprompter or cue card. And if you still can’t remember it…just scrap the idea altogether and ask them if they want some cheesecake.
Heidi:Yeah, write it on your hand!! Bristol’s mom can show you how it’s done!! And thus endeth the obscure political trivia portion of the Cheesecake Awards.
The “I Can Haz Costume Gimmick?” Award: Lacey Schwimmer
Courtney: Ok, I promise I’m not deliberately TRYING to turn this into the Heidi & Courtney anti-Lacey hour, but homegirl is SERIOUSLY bugging me this season for many reasons – and this is one of them. Why is her go-to costume these days a skimpy feathered skirt and a matching bedazzled bra???? Monday night was the third time THIS SEASON that we’ve seen this combo – each time in a slightly different color scheme. I feel like most of the time, the ladies on the show know what kinds of costumes flatter them best, and generally stick to what really shows of their assets while camoflaging other areas. I don’t feel like Lacey always follows this example – and I don’t think the feathered-skirt-with-matching-bedazzled-bra combo is at all flattering on her. In fact, I cannot help but wonder how many Muppets had to die to make her skirt, or how late some poor wardrobe assistant had to stay up bedazzling yet another bra for her. Do you REALLY need to show that much skin, honey? Edyta is gone, and she was really the only one who could carry off near-nudity well. And someone, please burn that damn razor blade bra before she has a chance to wear it for a 5th time – we saw it in season 7, season 9, the beginning of this season, and then in the Bruno dance video. NO MORE RAZOR BLADE BRA!!! PLEASE!!!! But hey, she got her wish – she will forever be known as the “sparkle bra and silly feathered skirt” gal in my mind….not a good thing.
Heidi:Would you believe that I had an award called “The Rule Most In Need of Breaking Award” – The one that requires that Lacey be in EVERY single freakin’ Pro dance on the damn show!! I took it out because I thought maybe I was being too harsh and that I was alone in being so sick of Lacey that I have the urge to slap her. Guess not. Problem is that she thinks she’s REALLY hot and REALLY funny and she’s…not. At. All. I think the only time I’ve laughed at her was when she told Kyle to put his chest away because no one wanted to see it – and I laughed because I said the same thing at the same time, so I was really laughing at myself.
Least Surprising Appearance by a Former Contestant: Jake Pavelka
Courtney: So completely NOT shocked to see goofy attention-whore Jake cheesing next to Evan & Erin when the camera panned to the season 10 celebs. He’s probably desperate for attention now that the whole Vienna scandal has died down.
Heidi:That and the fact that he probably can’t get a job to save his life. Ugh. He’s not even goofy, he’s smarmy and creepy.
And thus endeth the Cheesecake (why do I keep trying to spell it Cheesekake?) Awards for Week 7. Hope you all enjoyed.