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DWTS Season 15 All Stars – Who’s Gonna Dance with Whom??

Since I saw a bunch of people already asking this question in the comments on the site, I figured I would go ahead and give my guesses. These are guesses only – I have no inside information. All I do is use heights, perceived personality, and any other information floating around out there. In the case of this season, I think I will also look at history combined with the knowledge that fairness plays NO part in the decisions TPTB make. :-)

There is also a twist here – one that Mark Ballas hasn’t realized yet in his campaigning for Sabrina.  Mark says he’s “100%” dancing on the show this coming season.  The pairs are announced on GMA on August 13.  Voting for the 13th dancer doesn’t end until August 24.  Do the math.  The ONLY way that Mark can be dancing with Sabrina is if the voting thing is all bull.  Mark can only dance with Sabrina if they cancel the voting on August 13 and let all three people dance. Otherwise, Mark has already been paired with someone else and someone who isn’t sure if they have a spot yet will dance with Sabrina – if she wins the vote.  My guess? Louis…or perhaps someone like Henry. Someone shorter and not always guaranteed a spot on the show. Maybe it’s Derek, since all signs are that he had something else to do this season until recently.  But my guess is that Derek already has a partner too. So, I guess we’ll see if the voting thing is for real, or if it’s all hype that they will cancel on the 13th.  I hope it’s not all hype – I think 15 dancers is WAY too many. The most couples in a season was 16 and that was a nightmare. I hope they don’t go that route again, unless they have a double elimination the first week. Note: if the voting thing is a fraud, they will have to pull up a female dancer from the troupe unless Julianne or Edyta are magically coming back – doubtful in both cases.

So, you’ll notice, below, that I went with the assumption that ALMOST everyone is getting a new partner.  Will TPTB go this route? Well, it would certainly make the show much more interesting – which means they won’t do it. :-) I’m hoping they do, just to add to the entertainment value and to make the playing field a bit more level.

Heidi’s Guesses for the Women!!

Celebrity Height Pro Height Pro Former Partner
 Pam Anderson  5ft. 7in.  6ft. 2in.  Maks Damian
 Kelly Monaco  5ft. 3in.  5ft. 10in.  Derek Alec
 Melissa Rycroft  5ft. 4in.  5ft. 8in.  Mark  Tony
 Shawn Johnson  4ft. 9in.  5ft. 9in.  Val  Mark
 Kirstie Alley  5ft. 7in.  6ft. 1in.  Tony  Maks
 Bristol Palin  5ft. 5in.  5ft. 11in.  Tristan  Mark

Some explanations for my female pairings:

-          I put Maks and Pam together because they would be HOT

-          I put Kelly with Derek because she was supposedly running her mouth about him AND she fits the Derek partner mold

-          Melissa and Mark, and Val and Shawn??  Still not sure about these. Shawn’s older now, so Mark isn’t critical, but…

-          Kirstie and Tony?? It pretty much has to be either Tony or Maks, because Kirstie is tall and big boned – she would overwhelm most of the other men PLUS I would bet she wants someone in the “family”, if you know what I mean

-          Unfortunately, Bristol got Tristan by process of elimination. I didn’t try to pigeonhole her there.  As exciting as a Maks or Derek pairing with Bristol would be, they will give her to someone more easy going. If it’s not going to be Mark, I think it’s Tristan

Heidi’s Guesses for the Men!!

Celebrity Height Pro Height Pro Former Partner
 Joey Fatone  5ft. 11in.  5ft. 7in.  Peta  Kym
 Helio Castroneves  5ft. 8in.  5ft. 5in.  Karina  Julianne
 Drew Lacey  5ft. 6in.  5ft. 4in.  Anna  Cheryl
 Emmitt Smith  5ft. 9in.  5ft. 7in.  Kym  Cheryl
 Apolo Ono  5ft. 8in.  5ft. 2.5in.  Chelsie  Julianne
 Gilles Marini  6ft. 1in.  5ft. 4in.  Cheryl  Cheryl

I found the men to be a bit harder to match up. Here is my rationale:

-          I started with the shorter men, and the most obvious pairing, to me, is Apolo and Chelsie. They won’t be able to resist putting Apolo with a mini-Julianne>

-          That left me with Drew, who will also need a shorter female. I picked Anna. I just couldn’t see Anna with Apolo, which was my other choice, because…

-          I had already put Karina with Helio. I can kinda see that pairing…certainly more than I can see Anna and Helio.

-          When you pair up the shorter girls with the short guys,  you’re left with Joey, Emmett and Gilles.  I really wanted Peta with Gilles, but I have a feeling that Cheryl will get her way on this one. Again.

-          I could see Peta better with Joey than Emmett and Kym better with Emmett.

So there you have it.  I kinda hope it goes this way, since ONLY Kym and Cheryl (of the female pros) would be able to dance with former partners and this way it would be a tiny bit more even. What do you think??

ETA: Completely forgot about our wildcards!!  Well, there is only one female pro left – Lacey. Lacey has already danced with Kyle and she’s not too short for Carson. And they would be fun together as well. As for Sabrina – well, Louis is pimping her a lot on Twitter and since Mark already knows he’s dancing, he can’t be dancing with Sabrina unless something is rigged. I kinda think that they might give Mark/Sabrina another go round – but I also think that they don’t care that much about the pros.  I think they think of it more in terms of giving *Sabrina* another chance. They aren’t shippers. :-)

July 28, 2012 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Celebrities: “What do you mean, I’m a Ringer?” Part 3

This is the 3rd and final part of the series where I take a look at the partners the pros have had and their “ringer” status. Part 1 discusses how I define a ringer – you can find it here —> I’m a Ringer?? Part 2 discusses the female pros and their partners and how I labeled them – I think it’s pretty clear that they’ve not been quite as blessed as the men. Reasons for that should be self evident – female celebrities are more likely to have some sort of dance experience, even if it is taking ballet or tap as a child.  NOTE: This was mostly written before the pairings were announced for Season 14 – those pairings certainly change the game for lots of pros. Lots of potential ringers on this season.

I strongly recommend you read the first two parts before you comment – I don’t want to have to reiterate everything I wrote MONTHS ago. :-)  Also, be wise and don’t complain about the length, admit that you didn’t read it all, and then argue with me – that will just earn you scorn and an eye roll.  I know this is long – I considered breaking it into two parts, but then I figured it’s still long in two parts. People will either be interested or they won’t.  :::shrug:::  Also take note that I, personally, don’t care about ringers themselves. I think a season without them is deadly.  What I DO care about is hypocrisy, revisionist history and the fairy tales that some like to spread about who has had ringers and who hasn’t.

From where I sit, there are two types of ringers – and then there’s just being blessed. Fanbase ringer (ie. Donny Osmond, etc.) or Experience Ringer (Mel B, Nicole, Sabrina, etc.), and lucky get (Lalia, Brooke, Gilles, JR). Just because someone happens to be a great dancer doesn’t mean they are a ringer. When someone is blessed with a partner who can dance, it doesn’t mean they were handed a ringer. That particular argument is so illogical that it’s hard for me to take seriously. If they actually seriously auditioned people to be on this show by making them dance with a pro for an hour or two, it would be understandable. But they don’t stand people in a room with a pro dancer and then say, “wow, she’s got some moves, let’s give her to Maks” or “she sucks, lets give her to Tony.” It doesn’t work that way. If it did, they wouldn’t be able to get people on the show. And can you imagine a pro like Tony sticking around if that was the approach they took?

As it happens, and as many people connected to the show have reiterated, the process of how a pro gets a celebrity often has to do with height, personality, looks, chemistry and the cast as a whole…and this becomes obvious as the show progresses. They are actually quite good at matching people up. I would imagine they give this a lot of consideration as it impacts, or has the potential to impact, ratings.  You’re going to try to avoid having a bunch of pairings that make people go “eeewww” or get seriously pissed off. I think you need to limit that to one couple per season. Can you imagine what it would be like for every pro on a season to have a partnership similar to that of Hope and Maks??  I would want to stab my eyes out with a fork if they were ALL like that and there was no Carson/Anna or David/Kym. Seriously – think about it.  So, it may be good to have ONE Maks/Hope – gives people (me and Courtney) something to talk about, rant about, get passionate about, etc. (This is separate from a discussion of whether Maks finally went too far or not – I don’t think that’s what the producers intended.) Read more..

March 11, 2012 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Celebrities: “What do you mean, I’m a Ringer?” Part 2

This is Part 2 in what will likely be a 3-part series. If you want to read Part 1, you can find it here —> I’m a Ringer??

Well, let me tell you, researching these former contestants was not particularly enjoyable. But, I felt like some research had to go into this in order to try to be somewhat informed and to remove some of the subjectivity. Not all of it can be removed, but I tried.

How did I get my results?

For each celebrity who was *possibly* experienced or popular, I focused research on their web sites (if available), their Wiki pages, and YouTube videos.  Then there were google searches. Yikes.  If a celebrity was clearly not a ringer in any way shape or form (ie Football players, rodeo riders, race car drivers) I did not look into their background any further. I did spend some time on this, but since I have another job that takes my time, it’s possible I missed something. :-) BUT, just because you don’t agree with my rankings, it doesn’t mean I DID miss something. Just sayin’. :-)

Determining if someone is actually a fanbase ringer is rather difficult as well. My metric for that determination is: Is this person well known and well loved by the biggest DWTS demographic – that is women aged about 30 to 65. These are the people most likely to watch the show and vote.  Where it gets tricky is guys like Joey Lawrence and Ian Zeiring – it’s guys like this that caused me the most pain.  Why? Well, because my brain is saying, “Nah” but my gut is saying “Just because you’re not a fan doesn’t mean they don’t have sizable fanbases. :-) So, at the end of the day, I decided for my purposes that for them to be a fanbase ringer, it had to be OBVIOUS.  That is – if I know they’re super popular, then they probably really are.  If I don’t really know much about them….then they probably aren’t. I fit the demographic, after all. :-) Read more..

September 17, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Choreography…Technical breakdown!

I love when a celebrity performs a dance better than expected and I especially love when the choreography is something to remember! However, there are those times that a celebrity just cannot pick up a dance no matter how much practice time is given to them! So, until the new season starts on September 21st I’m going to post some of the most amazing dances since DWTS started, including the emmy nominated routine, and some of the worst dances that have been engraved in my mind!

In a previous post by Courtney, she listed the top 5 worst couple pairings so I have found dances from some of couples that truly shows that these pairings were not well thought out:

3 Train Wreck dances:

1: Season 2: Kenny Mayne and Andre Hale, Cha Cha
Kenny did more standing and walking than actually dancing! He was very heavy on his feet and needs to work on his hip movement…it is a latin dance!

2: Corky Ballas and Cloris Leachman: Season 7, cha cha
Oh Cloris! I loved watching her but she never had any technique…it was like a grandma at a club. But I do give her props on having fun with everything she did!

3: Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff: Season 8, Samba
Steve tried really hard but he never got the feeling of the latin dance! He went through the moves but had no rthym. His worm was a good attempt but it wasn’t great by any means! And the ending was all over the place!

3 memorable dances!

1: Emmy nominated routine: Great Balls of Fire, Julianne and Derek Hough
technical perfection!

2: Stacy Keibler and Tony Dovolani: Season 2, Samba

3. Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke: Season 2, Paso Doble

More to come until September 21!!!!

August 31, 2009 I Written By