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SPOILERS!!! DWTS Season 14, Week 2 – The First Elimination

…is the unkindest cut of all. I always put in a bit of blather here so we don’t spoil those on twitter – even though I’m a firm believe that if you don’t want to know the results, get off the damn computer. :-)

Anyway, our first elimination is Martina and Tony

Our mini scorecard reads as follows:

Courtney: Called Martina going home, with a slight possibility of it being Gavin

Heidi: Called Martina going home with a possibility of Gavin

John: Called Martina going home.

They did a real bottom two tonight for the first time since they wanted David Arquette to stick around. Odd choice tonight, I think. What do they have invested in Gavin??

March 27, 2012 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 14, Week 2 – Dancing by the Numbers

Ai Ai Ai!!! If you are an overly sensitive fan of any of the couples, this post isn’t for you. What a crap ass night of scoring – the dancing was just fine and many couples excelled…but the judges made a secret trip to Columbia before the season started. And dropped a good bit of coin.

And really, you can’t get Derek and Maria’s phone number right?? Jesus – then you fix it (or try to) during Martina and Tony’s skybox chat..and, if I’m not mistaken, never show their number?? I try REALLY REALLY hard not to buy into conspiracy theories – the simplest explanation always being the best and all that (the simplest explanation is that some of the people working on this show are MUPPETS) – but when you so obviously overscore Sherri and (to a lesser extent) Roshon and then just totally screw over Melissa and Jack what do you expect me to do?? I can’t even describe my thoughts on William and Cheryl without using language that John doesn’t approve of. :-) I’ll just say…so William sticks his ass out and looks uncertain most of the time and he gets one of the higher scores of the night?? At least good old Len doesn’t have a vagina. I’m counting on him to keep it real where William is concerned. Now, if he would throw away the memo from the ABC brass that says “Score the family HIGH”, I would be so proud of him. Seriously, Martina would need well more than 22K votes more than William – they are VERY invested in protecting this guy.

Anyway, I could go on all day. Remember, the scores from last week and this week are added together for the couples total. The total number of points awarded is then divided into the couples total for their percentage of the judges scores. That counts for half of the couples total score. The other half is treated the same way – the total number of votes divided into the votes for a given couple. When you add the two percentages together, the couple with the lowest combined total goes home.

Let’s look at the couples and their percentages of the total:

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Katherine 52 9.65
2. William 49 9.09
2. Roshon 49 9.09
4. Jaleel 48 8.91
5. Maria 46 8.53
5. Sherri 46 8.53
7. Donald 45 8.35
8. Jack 44 8.16
9. Gladys 42 7.79
10. Gavin 41 7.61
11. Melissa 40 7.42
12. Martina 37 6.86

:::sigh::: It’s a great season and even the worst dancers are doing better than the best dancers in many other seasons…so why do the judges insist on playing crazy games?? Katherine did a great job, but in what universe does William get only one point less than her?? They weren’t even close. I don’t think William was even close to Maria. Roshon got the same score tonight as William – he is also not worthy of a point less than Katherine, but he was better than William by a good bit..and he’s such a little cutie. I didn’t think I would like him, but I really do! But he and Sherri’s status with ABC was really showing tonight. Melissa still has issues…but no way was she that much worse than Sherri who missed an entire pass. Who was appropriately scored, IMO?? Well, Gavin, Jaleel, Jack, Donald, Maria and Katherine – but when compared to how other couples were overscored (or in some cases underscored), I’m not so sure any more. Read more..

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 14, Week 1 – Dancing by the Numbers

Curious as to where your favorite stands after one week of dancing?? You’ve come to the right place. That said – this could all be crap by the time the couples do their next dance.  I fully expect the judges to level the playing field (cuz they’re stupid like that) with the exception of their designated favorite. I have a feeling that will be Jaleel and William, if CAI and Bruno have anything to say about it. The Vagina vote wins every time. At least Jaleel is a kick ass dancer. William? Not so much. He’s alright. But starting out with overscoring so many people? Likely means they will do some leveling next week.

Anyway, let’s look at the couples and their percentages of the total:

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Jaleel 26 9.63
1. Katherine 26 9.63
3. William 24 8.89
4. Gladys 23 8.52
4. Roshon 23 8.52
4. Sherri 23 8.52
4. Jack 23 8.52
8. Maria 21 7.78
8. Donald 21 7.78
10. Melissa 20 7.41
10. Martina 20 7.41
10. Gavin 20 7.41

To give you some perspective, last season there was a much more realistic 3.5% spread between the top and the bottom. This season? Not so much.

Anyway, there is a lot of danger for a lot of people with the scoring so close. The only people truly safe are Jaleel and Katherine; even as little known (ringer) as she is, I don’t think that EVERY other dancer is going to get more votes than she did. Because that is what would have to happen. Jaleel will easily get the one vote that he needs, but the people  below her would each need the following for Katherine to go home.

  • Gavin, Martina and Melissa would EACH need to get 22,225 more votes than Katherine per million votes cast;
  • Maria and Donald would each need to get 18,520 more votes per million votes cast;
  • Sherri/Jack/Roshon/Gladys would each need 11,120 more votes than Katherine per million votes cast, and;
  • William would need 7,410 more votes per million votes cast than Katherine
  • That’s what it would take for Katherine to go home. Now, I think that Katherine has “shocking elimination” written all over her BUT, if she keeps the point spread like it is, she’ll be safe for a long while.  I doubt very much that Gavin is getting the votes to beat her right now, and I doubt Roshon is yet either.  I don’t really think that Maria and Donald are generating that many more votes than her yet, but that could easily change.  Her dance was pretty and very well executed, but as we’ve said ad nauseum around here – you have to have the whole package.  She strikes me as Audrina did – except Katherine (like Maria) has a much better partner. Plus Katherine has a lot more dance experience than Audrina did (but she had none, if I recall). Read more..

    March 20, 2012 I Written By

    I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

    The Top 10 Worst First Week Cha-Cha’s in DWTS History

    Ahhhh, yes – the cha-cha.  The only first week dance that has remained the same in all 14 seasons of the show - they’ve often vacillated between the waltz, foxtrot, and Viennese waltz as the first week ballroom dance from season to season, but they’ve always had the cha-cha as a week 1 Latin dance.  That’s 75 regular week 1 cha-cha’s (I’m not counting the cha-cha relay from season 9 - the scoring is too funky) for me to run the stats on, to give us an idea of what we might expect in the coming week :-) So before I run down the list of the biggest “Oh god, that was baaaaaad!” week 1 cha-cha moments, here are a few interesting cha-cha stats:

    *The lowest cha-cha score in DWTS history is 12 – and it’s a 3-way tie between Master P & Ashly, Tucker & Elena, and Jeff & Edyta.  Two of the couples were eliminated the first week of their respective seasons – and all 3 female pros are no longer on the show :-) (ok, that last one was probably not a direct cause of a bad cha-cha, but just an interesting coincidence ;-))

    *Five former DWTS champions did cha-cha as their week 1 dance (Drew, Emmitt, Apolo, Brooke, & Hines).

    *The pro who’s done the most week 1 cha-cha’s is Cheryl – she’s started 9 of her 12 seasons on the show with a cha-cha.

    *A female celeb didn’t dance the cha-cha as a week 1 dance until season 5 – up until that point, the ladies had always done a ballroom dance the first week, and the men had always done cha-cha.

    Now…without further ado…I give you the worst week 1 cha-cha’s in DWTS history :-) Season 14 celebs, pay attention! This is for your own good…do not try to emulate these routines!

    10.) Clyde & Elena, season 4

    I never got the feeling that Clyde was actually making a genuine effort during his season, really.  I think his handlers probably signed him up for the show just to get him some exposure, and it was never something Clyde really wanted to do – he just seemed to do the bare minimum each week and probably hoped to get voted off quickly. His whole “outrage” over Len pointing out that some couples weren’t practicing enough just really made me think that Clyde the Glide doth protest too much – he wasn’t putting in the hours and he knew it.  On top of the apathy, there was a huge height difference between he & Elena, and at 6’7″, he was generally just kinda ungainly…add that altogether and you’ve got a cha-cha that’s just kind of an awkward non-event.

    9.) Billy Ray & Karina, season 4

    I’m not sure who I feel worse for here – Billy Ray or Karina.  Billy Ray really was kind of “a left-footed hillbilly from Kentucky” (his own words), and this cha-cha was a pretty hot mess.  I like to call this “drunk uncle at a wedding” dancing - some random grooving & flailing & forgotten footwork from Billy Ray while Karina did some cha-cha around him.   But I will say this – unlike Clyde, who had probably phoned it in before the season even started, I do think Billy Ray was giving it his all the entire season.  This poor guy REALLY wanted to do well for Karina, and he did put in the effort – but some people are just not natural dancers, and Billy Ray is unfortunately in that camp. Read more..

    March 12, 2012 I Written By

    Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

    DWTS Celebrities: “What do you mean, I’m a Ringer?” Part 3

    This is the 3rd and final part of the series where I take a look at the partners the pros have had and their “ringer” status. Part 1 discusses how I define a ringer – you can find it here —> I’m a Ringer?? Part 2 discusses the female pros and their partners and how I labeled them – I think it’s pretty clear that they’ve not been quite as blessed as the men. Reasons for that should be self evident – female celebrities are more likely to have some sort of dance experience, even if it is taking ballet or tap as a child.  NOTE: This was mostly written before the pairings were announced for Season 14 – those pairings certainly change the game for lots of pros. Lots of potential ringers on this season.

    I strongly recommend you read the first two parts before you comment – I don’t want to have to reiterate everything I wrote MONTHS ago. :-)  Also, be wise and don’t complain about the length, admit that you didn’t read it all, and then argue with me – that will just earn you scorn and an eye roll.  I know this is long – I considered breaking it into two parts, but then I figured it’s still long in two parts. People will either be interested or they won’t.  :::shrug:::  Also take note that I, personally, don’t care about ringers themselves. I think a season without them is deadly.  What I DO care about is hypocrisy, revisionist history and the fairy tales that some like to spread about who has had ringers and who hasn’t.

    From where I sit, there are two types of ringers – and then there’s just being blessed. Fanbase ringer (ie. Donny Osmond, etc.) or Experience Ringer (Mel B, Nicole, Sabrina, etc.), and lucky get (Lalia, Brooke, Gilles, JR). Just because someone happens to be a great dancer doesn’t mean they are a ringer. When someone is blessed with a partner who can dance, it doesn’t mean they were handed a ringer. That particular argument is so illogical that it’s hard for me to take seriously. If they actually seriously auditioned people to be on this show by making them dance with a pro for an hour or two, it would be understandable. But they don’t stand people in a room with a pro dancer and then say, “wow, she’s got some moves, let’s give her to Maks” or “she sucks, lets give her to Tony.” It doesn’t work that way. If it did, they wouldn’t be able to get people on the show. And can you imagine a pro like Tony sticking around if that was the approach they took?

    As it happens, and as many people connected to the show have reiterated, the process of how a pro gets a celebrity often has to do with height, personality, looks, chemistry and the cast as a whole…and this becomes obvious as the show progresses. They are actually quite good at matching people up. I would imagine they give this a lot of consideration as it impacts, or has the potential to impact, ratings.  You’re going to try to avoid having a bunch of pairings that make people go “eeewww” or get seriously pissed off. I think you need to limit that to one couple per season. Can you imagine what it would be like for every pro on a season to have a partnership similar to that of Hope and Maks??  I would want to stab my eyes out with a fork if they were ALL like that and there was no Carson/Anna or David/Kym. Seriously – think about it.  So, it may be good to have ONE Maks/Hope – gives people (me and Courtney) something to talk about, rant about, get passionate about, etc. (This is separate from a discussion of whether Maks finally went too far or not – I don’t think that’s what the producers intended.) Read more..

    March 11, 2012 I Written By

    I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

    DWTS Who Wore it Better? Part XV – The Pre-Season 14 Edition!

    Yep, we’re back to talk fashion for yet another season’s promo pix :-) And kids, this batch was a bit of a challenge for even me – at least 3 brand-spanking new dresses that weren’t dittoed, some wacky alterations, weird lighting, and the fact that we don’t have pix of Cheryl & Katherine yet made this edition a little less fun and a little more frustrating.  But alas, it’s here now, so enjoy! And a very special thanks to our reader Manny, who graciously helped us out with the screen cap of Niecy, since Hulu only has season 13 available to stream and the DWTS website has taken down all of the photos from old seasons…grrrrr. *shakes fist at sky*

    Battle of the gold, silver, super-sparkly jive dress: Kym’s pre-season 14 photo shoot vs. Kym’s jive with David in season 13

    Heidi: I know I’m going to disagree with Court on this one – by choosing the photo shoot version. :-) I like the more asymmetrical hem and I like her hair better in that pic. But damn, Kym always looks amazing and she does stick to the similar color pallette much of the time.

    Court: Kym has always known what looks good on her (everything) and what doesn’t (not much), but I love how she seems to stick to a lot of nude colors and just lets all the embellishments do the talking.  I remember thinking “Wowwwww…that’s soooo sparrrrrkllllllyyyy!” as she walked down the stairs last season in this number.  But alas, the magic is a bit lost in the whitewash of the photo shoot – so I’m gonna go with jive Kym on this one :-)

    The winner: We love Kym in the nude (colors) :-)

    Battle of the black lace turtleneck tango dress: Bristol’s Argentine tango with Mark in season 11 vs. Martina’s pre-season 14 photo shoot

    Court: I think this may actually be the very first ditto of a Bristol costume we’ve ever seen! Although if you’ve seen one Bristol ditto, I think you’ve pretty much seen them all, as this girl wore A LOT of black lace in season 11 – a fact that made my searching though her costumes all the more confusing :-P But anyway…I gotta say, I’m not really wild about this costume on either woman.  It just seems kinda…dowdy.  But I guess if I had to pick, I’d actually pick Bristol – because I can at least tell it’s a tango costume with the way she’s styled & made up.  Martina…just kinda looks like she’s gesturing for no apparent reason.  But she looks damn good for her age! :-)

    Heidi: I can’t pick…too distracted by Marky’s face in that picture. :-) The hell?  Okay, all kidding :::cough::: aside, I have to agree with Courtney. Martina looks fabulous, but Bristol is fully made up for this dress and she wears it pretty well.  I will say, very proud of Martina for going with a dress that is probably more daring on the bottom half than I would have expected.

    The winner: Bristol takes this one because we can actually tell what she’s doing. Read more..

    March 9, 2012 I Written By

    Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

    Pure Dancing With The Stars Update On “LIVE! With Kelly” Shows!!

    Did any of you tune in to see Carrie Ann Inaba on LIVE! With Kelly yesterday? She didn’t mention anything on Dancing With The Stars’ new season, but, she was a kick to watch. She and Kelly Ripa definitely have that magic it takes to co-host together in my opinion. Carson Kressley did a segment with the wedding rehearsal dinner which was good too. Carrie Ann raved on his “Moves Like Jagger” dance from last season. She also said (joked?) she’d love to see him back to do the show again a second time and he agreed. Lots more below and at the LIVE! With Kelly official site.

    Don’t forget to tune into Friday’s show as we’ll get to see the wedding couple dance and more of Derek Hough teaching them in some pre-filmed footage hopefully. Also, watch this facebook page closely, they might post some “behind the scenes” pictures and video footage.

    February 23, 2012 I Written By

    I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.

    Louis Van Amstel Says He’s The Only Pro Who Doesn’t Know If He’s Dancing On Dancing With The Stars

    KATU in Portland interviewed Dancing pro Louis Van Amstel this morning. He dishes about what the first three weeks are like on Dancing With The Stars. He talks of how you have to be honest when teaching and his favorite partner and soul mate, Kelly Osbourne. He gets the news crew dancing while promoting LaBlast. At the end, he says he’s the only pro who doesn’t know if he’s dancing or not on Dancing With The Stars. Hmmm… More below….

    I Written By

    I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.

    DWTS Season 14 Rumor: ESPN’s Dick Vitale To Dance?

    We’re not sure about this new rumor for Dancing With The Stars, but, a PR person named Terri Mallioux has tweeted Dick Vitale is going to dance on Dancing With The Stars. After doing some digging and not finding much out there that would give this rumor more legs to stand on, she might be just joking or giving him a hard time since he’s been known to dance on the basketball court while attending and covering some games (see videos below). Anyway, just in case this is legit, we thought we better report on it. Thanks to Maddy for bringing this to our attention. You can read about Dick and his career here.


    Oh, and @ signed up for this seasons Dancing With The Stars! @: Been off Twitter for a couple of days. What’d I miss?”
    @TerriMallioux
    Terri Mallioux

    Not a bad dancer. Just sayin’! 8O So what do you think if true and who do you see him paired with?

    February 22, 2012 I Written By

    I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.

    Ryan Seacrest Says Dancing With The Stars Does Not Have A Full Cast Yet

    According to Ryan Seacrest today, Dancing With The Stars isn’t fully casted yet. Below is some audio. Ryan says he’s tried to get Derek Hough to tell him something, but, he won’t. LOL!!

    Thanks to Lori for this news!

    I Written By

    I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars seems to have this way of bringing all of those things together. One of my favorite dancing quotes at the moment: "No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you've already had...." ~Gleb Savchenko . For fun music and dance mixes, visit WilUnleashed Soundcloud.