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DWTS 15 All-Stars: The Great “Previous Dance Experience” Debate – Sabrina Bryan Edition

Let’s continue on our journey through this season’s couples today with a look at the fan-appointed 13th contestant – Sabrina Bryan.  And if you want to refer to my previous editions of the series, check out the Helio Castroneves edition – there are links to all the previous posts at the top.  :-)

I picked Sabrina & Mark’s perfect-scoring paso doble as her best dance:

And as her worst dance, I picked her foxtrot, which was the dance that ultimately sent her home:

Echoing Len’s sentiments after Sabrina’s foxtrot, the thing that jumps out at me in both dances is that Sabrina just hits everything so HARD – which is sometimes good (in dances like the paso doble & tango), but can often be bad (in slower, more fluid dances like the foxtrot).  The impact she gives each line & step seems to be a product of her hip-hop training from the Cheetah Girls, possibly mixed with some jazz/Broadway musical-style training.  If having really sharp, flashy hands is considered “jazz hands”, then I think Sabrina might have an entire jazz body – which could be problematic.  Obviously it’s a huge advantage in very aggressive dances like the paso doble (which is why I think her paso doble is her best dance), but when you’ve got a dance like the foxtrot that is supposed to be slick & fluid, and you’re hitting each line with the force of a sledgehammer – it’s time to dial back the aggression.  If she can overcome that, she’s obviously got some good musicality and stage presence for Louis to work with…but the question is: will he know how best to utilize it? Even in Louis’ stronger seasons (like Kelly Osbourne’s), I find that he often doesn’t seem to know quite how to choreograph to his partner’s strengths and weaknesses – and even though Sabrina might be his strongest partner yet, it won’t mean anything if he doesn’t know how to tap into that talent.

So obviously, like Joey, one thing that may give Sabrina an edge in this season is the time she’s spent in the Vegas show prior to now – she’s been dancing for 3 months already.  Will it help? Well…I’d say yes & no.  I’ve said it before, but I think anyone that’s been doing any kind of onstage performing the past year or so will likely have a bit of an edge, just due to their performance skills not getting rusty.  However, as with Joey, I think Sabrina spent a good deal of time in Vegas doing stuff that wasn’t “strictly ballroom” – she did quite a bit of more jazzy, hip-hop influenced stuff, and even her paso doble with Ryan DiLello felt a little watered down to me.  Is Vegas really going to help when it comes to remembering the finer points of samba & foxtrot? Probably not.  And you also have to keep in mind that Sabrina was doing the same routines, night after night – if they looked fabulous, it was because she had had weeks to perfect them.  Will she be able to adjust to back to the breakneck pace of the tv show, where she only has a few days to learn a dance? 

Court’s verdict: Sabrina’s got potential – she’s a good dancer and a good showman.  But if she wants to be a contender, she needs to soften her lines, and make sure she’s “strictly ballroom” – no hip-hop or jazz infusion.  And Louis will have to deliver some great choreography to really make her stand out.

What are your thoughts on Sabrina? Is this her season to win, or could it just be a repeat of season 5?

August 30, 2012 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

Dancing with the Stars Season 15: Who would you choose as the 13th Celebrity?

According to ABC: they have announced 12 celebrities for DWTS All Stars while allowing the fans to choose the 13th celebrity to be on the show.

One thing I noticed is that all three choices are part of the DWTS Live Show in Vegas.

Let’s hear who Pure DWTS readers think will be the final star on Dancing with the Stars Season 15:

July 27, 2012 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

Dancing by the Numbers – DWTS Season 5 Retrospective!

Since they just aired season 5 on GSN, I figured I would do a little numbers retrospective – particularly because of the supposed “shocking” elimination of Sabrina and the horribly prolonged run of Marie Osmond.

I have to say, after watching Sabrina dance again, I have to agree with Len and Bruno when they commented on how she danced her foxtrot “too hard” – it was way too hard and she did miss a couple steps.  Combine that with the talent and/or name recognition of her competitors, then is it really a surprise? Perhaps so, since Jane had been in the bottom two the week before. But everyone but perhaps Helio and Mel B was much better known with the DWTS demographic than Sabrina was – and Mel B was a better dancer and Helio was a huge and charming personality. Anyway, at the end of the night, week 6, the scores looked like this:

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Mel B 30 16.67
2. Helio 28 15.56
3. Jennie 27 15.00
4. Cameron 25 13.89
4. Sabrina 25 13.89
6. Marie 23 12.78
7. Jane 22 12.22

Now, what these scores mean should be somewhat obvious to longtime readers of this series – Sabrina was not at the bottom of the leader board and, in fact, had a pretty decent lead on Marie and Jane and was tied with Cameron.  In order for Sabrina to be eliminated, the following had to happen:

-          She didn’t cover the spread of the dancers above her, AND;

-          Cameron got ONE more vote per million votes cast than her, AND:

-          Marie got 11,150 more votes per million votes cast than she did, AND;

-          Jane got 16,700 more votes per million votes cast than she did.

Now, conventional wisdom has always said that Sabrina fans got over confident or were sure she was safe. But look at those numbers. That’s  a good bit of overconfident and I’m not sure I believe it any longer. Marie’s faint was the week before, but there is no reason that Jane should go from a bottom two situation the week before to being safe at Sabrina’s expense the very next week.  She made up a pretty big deficit.  I’m inclined to believe that, like other lesser knowns before her, Sabrina didn’t have the fanbase that many believed. And we all know by now that great dancing isn’t always enough.  And in case you still don’t agree – Sabrina was the high scorer in 3 of the 5 previous weeks. The two weeks she wasn’t the high score, she was in second place. The instant she falls out of the top 2, she’s eliminated. Coincidence?? Read more..

July 5, 2012 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS 15 All-Stars: Are Donny & Marie Osmond Gearing Up To Dance Again?

So many of you brought it to our attention that Donny was asked about doing the all-star season the other day on The Talk, and I was finally able to locate a clip.  While he seemed to tend more towards the “no” side (“It’s a lot of work!” and “I have one mirror ball trophy I rub in Marie’s face. Why two???), he did say he’d “love to get that trophy again!”.  Video below for those who want to see for themselves…it’s around the 10:00 mark.  Notice how Donny looks a bit guilty & fidgety when first asked about it:

So while Donny seems to give the impression of “sounds fun, but I’m super busy”, I wouldn’t necessarily write him off as a no-go for the all-star season.  I wouldn’t write Marie off just yet, either.  Why, you ask?

Our reader Christy pointed out to us last week that Donny & Marie both appear to have cleared their schedules for the fall, as the last event either of them have listed on their respective websites is a gig in Atlantic City on August 5.  After that, they have nothing scheduled until their UK tour in January of next year.  Are they allocating time to participate in the all-star season, perhaps?

What about their long-running Vegas show? Well, officially, their show at the Flamingo is contracted through October of this year, so there could be a bit of overlap if they do decide to do the all-star season…but the show is dark on Monday evenings, and having a Vegas show sure didn’t seem to stop Donny during his season on DWTS, as Sharon aptly pointed out on The Talk.  And as of right now, you’re only able to purchase tickets for their Vegas show through July 28 on the Flamingo website.  Could they be ending their run in Vegas early, and heading for Hollywood to go head-to-head in the all-star season? 

I decided to get a bit sneaky and see what I could find out by calling the Flamingo box office.  I pretended to be a daughter whose parents were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary and were planning a trip to Vegas, and I wanted to gift them with tickets to the finale of Donny & Marie’s Vegas show in October.  The sales rep on the other end of the line, while very friendly, got a bit dodgy with me at that point, and delivered the obligatory “I’m sorry, ma’am, at this time we have only opened ticket sales for shows leading up to July 28.  But if you call back in a month or so, we might have tickets available for shows at a later date.”  Bah…cop-out.  :-P It could mean nothing – maybe they’re still planning out the last few months of the show’s run.  But I thought it was interesting nonetheless, and gave me some food for thought.  ;-)

So what do you guys think about Donny and/or Marie possibly coming back for the all-star season? Let’s get your thoughts…

June 19, 2012 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS is BACK on GSN Starting July 2nd!

Cross posted from Pure Derek  Hough…

DANCING WITH THE STARS, Season Five, will air Monday, July 2nd, Tuesday, July 3rd, and Wednesday July 4th in a special three-day marathon (all times Eastern):

 

  • ·        Monday, July 2nd, 8:30am to 3:00pm
  • ·        Tuesday, July 3rd, 9:00am to 3:00pm
  • ·        Wednesday, July 4th, 9:00am to 3:00pm

 

DANCING WITH THE STARS, Season Five, features a spectacular cast of celebrities from television, movies, music, sports, and fashion, each paired with a professional dancer:

 

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts

Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Karina Smirnoff

Mark Cuban and Kym Johnson

Mel B and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Jane Seymour and Tony Dovolani

Wayne Newton and Cheryl Burke

Jennie Garth and Derek Hough

Hélio Castroneves and Julianne Hough

Josie Maran  and Alec Mazo

Albert Reed and Anna Trebunskaya                                               

Sabrina Bryan and Mark Ballas

Cameron Mathison and Edyta Sliwinska

 

June 16, 2012 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 15: “All-Star” Season – Pick your Stars!

In case you missed it, last week I posted all the celebrities that have graced Dancing with the Stars with their presence and asked you – the reader – to choose your favorite star from every season. In that post you were only allowed to choose one celebrity per season.

Earlier this week there was a post asking you to pick six male and six female professional dancers that you would love to see back for Season 15. Since there were a lot of requests for the inclusion of the DWTS Troupe dancers, stick around for Friday to see what I have planned. But back to the celebrities:

I have compiled all the stars that have received the top votes in their respective seasons and put them all into two polls: Men and Women. Now you can pick up to twelve stars (up to six male and six female celebrities) that you would love to see come back for Season 15 of Dancing with the Stars.

Since the past several seasons have been twelve couples, I figured it would be best to see who you would choose for your Six Favorite Male Celebrities and Six Favorite Female Celebrities from across the seasons.

Note: I know it has been said that Mario Lopez is most likely not going to do Season 15 because he is too busy, but since this is just what the fans want… and he has been a popular celebrity, he’s still part of the poll. :)

Enjoy!
Read more..

June 6, 2012 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS Season 15: “All-Star” Season – Pick your Pros!

You didn’t think I’d forget about the professional dancers, now did you?

In case you’ve missed it… last week, there was a post with polls asking you – the reader – to choose one star per season that you’d love to see come back for the “All Star” Season of Dancing with the Stars (aka Season 15). There have been a lot of pros that have come and gone throughout the seasons, so now is your chance to pick the twelve pros that you’d love to see come back.

I have included pros that have only been on the show for one season, those that have left the show for greener pastures (Alec Mazo, Edyta Sliwinska and Julianne Hough). So anything goes here.

Why twelve professional dancers? For the past several seasons the show have had either eleven or twelve couples… so I figured this season should include twelve couples as well. :) I suppose we’ll see.

Enjoy!
Read more..

June 4, 2012 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS Season 15 – All Star Cast Wish List

So what I’m going to do is start with a series of polls: namely you get to choose who YOU want to see from every season of Dancing with the Stars from Season 1 all the way to Season 14. The polls will be up for a few days… and once the polls are closed I will personally draw up how the top celebrities did in their season in comparison to the averaged data from all the seasons.

At the end of all the chosen celebrities I will create a mock elimination post and hopefully by then we’ll know who would REALLY be cast and I will do attempt to do the same for the casted celebrities – hopefully – before the show starts in September again.

Excited? Well you better be… soon you’ll have an example in the form of Mario Lopez and later of Mel B since they are the only two that we know of that has been approached for the All-Star season. If they end up being top in the poll of their respective seasons, wonderful! If not, well then those are freebie posts for you ;-)

Ready? GO!
Read more..

May 30, 2012 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

The Top 5 Best First Week Foxtrots in DWTS History

This is a little later than I originally intended, but alas, life throws us curve balls from time to time :-) As promised, here are my top 5 first week foxtrots in DWTS history…maybe something we’ll see tomorrow night will bump one of these from the list! Or maybe it will make the worst list instead…8O But how ’bout some more foxtrot stats first?

*There is a 5-way tie for the pro that has done the most week 1 foxtrots: Maks, Tony, Jonathan, Edyta, & Mark have all done the foxtrot in the first week 3 times.

*The highest first-week foxtrot score ever given was 27 – it was given to Kristi & Mark in season 6.

*The average score for a week 1 foxtrot is 19.14. The score given most often in week 1? 18.

5.) Helio & Julianne, season 5

I just loved how cute these two were together – it also didn’t hurt that Helio had a good deal of natural talent :-) And in what you’ll see to be a recurring theme in this countdown, it was a very traditional foxtrot, which was comprised mainly of foxtrot steps with a little bit of jazzy open work thrown in.  There’s something to be said for staying in the box from time to time, kids!

4.) Laila & Maks, season 4

Another very natural mover – Laila just made everything look so EASY.  I think a lot of her appeal in her season was that sense of ease, and it really came in hand in a dance like the foxtrot, where everything is supposed to have a gliding, walk-in-the-park kind of feel.  Just the little bit of sass thrown in just made it perfect for week 1. Read more..

March 19, 2012 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Cheesecake Retrospective! Season 5, Week 5

Welcome our summer serving of CHEESECAKE!!! :-) Hey, we hear people like this series and I have to say that I enjoy writing it with Courtney as much as some of you enjoy reading it. New to the series?? Look at the right side of the web page, near the top – see the Cheesecake Awards box? Click it and you can go back and read all our other Cheesecake posts. :-) Warning – if you are new to this site, we don’t spare anyone’s feelings.

What we’re going to do is randomly skip around throughout the series old episodes and do a cheesecake post just like we do during the season. Of course, we’re not going to re-do episodes we’ve already done – no need, as we have plenty of material out there to cover before the new season starts. At the end of each post like this one, we will announce our next selection – that way, anyone who wants to can watch that episode on Hulu prior to us posting it. Hulu covers seasons 5 through 11 – and I imagine they will have 12 up soon if they don’t already.

Season 5 participants included Helio Castroneves, Marie Osmond, Jennie Garth and Mel B – to name a few. :-) And the subject (or rather, victim) of our first retrospective takes us back to the week of October 22-23, 2007 – long before the days of Lacey, the Argentine tango, the Design-a-Dance, Brooke as co-host, the Bristol controversy, and the judges smoking crack.  It was the week before the very first “shock” elimination in DWTS history (Sabrina & Mark), and was memorable for Mark & Kym’s “I Dream of Jeannie” samba, Sabrina & Mark’s eyebrow-raising rumba, and Marie’s fall heard ’round the world.  Let’s get nostalgic, shall we? ;-)

Best Tactic for Avoiding Elimination: Marie fainting on live television

Courtney: Do you remember where you were when Marie bit the floor that fateful night? :-) I do – I was waiting tables at Hooters in Lafayette, IN, and heard one of the cooks scream from the kitchen “Dude!!! I think Marie Osmond just died!” Of course, every flat panel in the restaurant was hastily flipped to ABC, so we all could watch replays of Marie doing her best Aunt Pittypat and crumpling to the floor mid-critique, while Tom, Jonathan, the judges, and the audience stood slack-jawed.  This was quite possibly the best and most dramatic ploy for dodging elimination that I have ever seen on the show :-) And, in retrospect, I almost (almost!) wonder if it was done intentionally – Marie was already pretty winded post-samba, and then she started hopping up and down in excitement like a circa-2005 Tom Cruise, which I can only imagine hurried along her inevitable spill.  I believe Len’s choice of the word “gaiety” was the straw that broke the camel’s back – it must’ve been just too much for her wholesome Mormon ears, because the moment it passed his lips, her eyes were rolling back in her head and she was doing the slo-mo wipeout.  The look on Len’s face was priceless: mildly concerned, but almost disappointed that he wasn’t going to get to finish his critique.  There must’ve been a bit of a chaotic shuffle in the control room, because there was about a 10 second lapse of silence & the audience looking stunned between when Tom told them to cut to commercial and when they actually did. See? They had a Muppet stage crew even back then, kids ;-) Anywho, after that dramatic display – who wouldn’t toss a few sympathy votes her way? Not only was this the first instance of real onstage drama – it was quite possibly the birth of the sympathy vote as well. Historic!

Heidi:Ugh. Marie. Screaming at Bruno while hopping around like an idiot – no wonder she fainted, she used up all her air impersonating a 5 year-old. Was it planned? Nah, she’s just an ass. :-) I loved Tom’s follow on to the whole thing: “you know, in the movie’s swooning is so romantic….but IT SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME!!” Honest AND funny. LOL. As for the Muppet stage crew – well, I think a lot of them thought at first it was Marie doing a bit – you know acting like a jackass and goofing off. To this day, seeing Marie makes me cringe because she was just gawdawful unbearable on the show. She did make a good point on one of the entertainment shows later – the dude is supposed to catch you when you swoon, poor Jon just wasn’t on the ball. :-)

Best Argument for Not Getting Lyrical with Your Choreography: Jane & Tony’s bizarre “breathing” arm movements during their rumba

Courtney: Dang, Dr. Quinn’s body is even more incredible than I remember! But I digress.  Tony & Jane’s rumba song was “Breathe Again” by Toni Braxton (who would show up as a contestant a year later), most well known for it’s chorus of repeated “breathe again, breathe again”.  Well I guess Tony decided to get artistic when he was putting this rumba together, because he incorporated this weird back-and-forth arm movement that was supposed to be “breathing” in time with the chorus – except instead of breathing, it looked more like he & Jane were imitating the mighty albatross in a very sleepy game of charades.  Just…unintentionally comical.  CAW CAW!!!

Heidi:Oh. That was supposed to be breathing? Um, yeah, didn’t get it. :-)

Proof for the DWTS Theory of Tenure: Mark Ballas

Courtney: I’d like to take this opportunity to unveil my latest scientific DWTS theory – I like to call it the “Theory of Tenure”, and its underlying principle is that the longer a pro is on the show, the less of a true, competitive ballroom dancer they become.  This becomes apparent when looking at several of the pros’ evolution on the show, but the transformation is exceptionally marked (no pun intended) with one, Mark Ballas.  Season 5 was Mark’s rookie season on the show, and he was fresh off the competition floor – his choreography was pretty hardcore ballroom (not a lot of frills), his costumes were pretty normal, and his hair was much longer. None of the shaved head, tattooed, envelope-pushing rubbish he’s resorted to the past few seasons.  This rumba was quite lovely to watch, actually.  But what’s truly funny to me is that you can see little bits of the Mark of today peeking through – an enthusiastic piroutte here, a corny joke there. He was trying hard to keep the jimmy legs in check ;-)

Heidi: Mark was such a sweetheart back then…but he still had that bizarre, stiff looking smile. It scares me a bit. :-) I was watching the other day and also noticed he didn’t have too much to say in the Red (Blue this season) room. Interestingly enough, I was watching that OTHER dancing show the other night too – and Louis Van Amstel makes it VERY clear that the DWTS Theory of Tenure does not apply to all the pros – particularly those who are more mature (mentally, if not always in behavior). Louis choreographed a seriously kickass Tango that was strict ballroom – American version, I believe Mary said. Total content, killer lift at the end but not prone to all the flashy crap that SYTYCD choreographers doing ballroom feel like they have to add, thereby making it NOT legit ballroom – and certainly not straying from the rules of ballroom like Mark was so fond of doing in the name of “fresh” this past season on DWTS. And let me tell you, that Tango rivaled anything done on SYTYCD this season and certainly beat anything done this past season on DWTS. I am NOT a Louis fan by ANY stretch of the imagination – but I loved that dance. He disproves this theory…and he disproves (as Derek does frequently) that it is NOT necessary to stray from the Ballroom “rules” in order to create an amazing, fresh, exciting dance.

The Rocky Horror “Time Warp” Award: Mark, Maks and Tony

Heidi: Holy crap – they all look like BABIES. It looks like this was done ten years ago instead of 3 or 4. Wait…Mark at least WAS a baby then. What? 21?

Courtney: Tony definitely had more hair.  Maks was still trying to figure out what to do with his after chopping it off, and was toying with the babyfaced look (dislike).  Mark was still very “ballroom-y” – the heavily slicked-back, just slightly too long look.  Although I swear it looked a little teased on top.  I think he hit his stride in season 6 – no teased-up flat-top.  Just about an inch of hair that was neatly gelled.  Looked pretty good.  Then he decided that hair was for the common folk and went all cue-ball on us.  *sigh*

The “Translation Needed STAT!!” Award: Bruno Tonioli

Heidi: Dude, it’s Ro-DAY-o Drive, not rodeo “look at me I’m riding a bull” Drive. It took me a good 15 seconds or so to figure out what the hell he was talking about in his commentary to Jane and Tony. Apparently I wasn’t alone as Tom felt compelled to correct his pronunciation. :-) Bruno, word to the wise: If you can’t say it, you can’t shop it.

Courtney: Guess they were still working out the kinks in the Brunobot 5000, Version 2.0. At least he wasn’t being a total pervert like he is now…maybe they need to find the recovery disk for his propriety program.

The Award for Setting an Example That Will Unfortunately Be Ignored in Future Seasons: Mark Cuban, for arguing with Kym about their Choreography

Heidi: DON’T ARGUE WITH THE PROFESSIONALS ABOUT CHOREOGRAPHY. This should be a no-brainier, but not to those with egos rivaling the best Pro dancers. People, these dancers maybe be young – but they are the best at what they do and they have a pretty good idea what pleases the audience. Now, Mark went home this week and that may not be the reason why – but it certainly doesn’t help when the audience sees the novice MALE dancer arguing with the pretty, blonde professional. Who ignored this example?? Evan and Anna – to disastrous free style results. I’m sure there are more, but that’s the one that springs to mind most recently. I’m sure most pros don’t mind some input (Derek has often said he liked it from Nicole and Lil’ Kim) – but don’t let it escalate to “fight” level. Not even the appearance of a disagreement. It will backfire.

Courtney: I think my jaw might have dropped a little when witnessing this one, because it’s just not something that happens on the show much these days  - aside from the examples Heidi mentioned above. I think the celebs know better now than to question choreo.  Except if your name is Kate Gosselin, and you fancy yourself an expert on just about everything, and get off on arguing like the bitter old divorcee with the duck-butt hairdo that you truly are.  :-) But Kym seriously looked like she had no idea what to do – the aggression from Mark just seemed to come out of nowhere.  Clearly Mark hadn’t yet learned that you do not mess with She of the Awesome Boobage – not because she’s a barracuda, but because she’s just so damn sweet.  The ONLY instance in which I think some arguing between celeb & pro regarding choreography might have been good was between Mya & Dmitry when he was choreographing their “WTF?!” Hairspray freestyle.  I really wish she would have been more vocal about doing her idea instead of his.

Heidi: Okay, I re-phrase – don’t argue with Pros who have been on the show for a few seasons. :-) Yeah, the Mya/Dmitry freestyle was just bad and I chalk it up to him being new.  Of course, I don’t think he’s adjusted from SYTYCD to this day, so who knows.

The Award for Best (Worst?) Analogy: Samantha Harris for “Next We’ll See You do the Grocery Shopper.” Said to Mark Cuban, I believe, after he showed off his “style” of dancing.

Heidi: Huh whuh?? Grocery Shopper?? Do you suppose she means the “shopping cart” dance move?? I wasn’t sure, so I googled -and found someone asking the question “is that really a dance move or just another Sam Harris kooky comment?? LOL!! I also found that there are a couple videos of dancing Grocery shoppers that are dated 2010 – but I don’t think it’s an actual dance move and I think it’s Sam Harris doing her usual verbal tripping up. :-) Courtney? What say you??

Courtney: Maybe it’s one of those things where the term for it changes in different parts of the country…y’know, like “toilet” vs. “commode”? Or “purse” vs. “pocketbook”? “Water fountain” vs. “bubbler”? Yeah…maybe not.  And I know I may have bitched about Samantha when she was on the show…but I would still much rather have her cheesy ass back than deal with Brooke “Rainman” Burke yet again.  At least Samantha could come up with semi-entertaining banter off the cuff, and didn’t look like she had chased a few horse tranquilizers with a Cosmo before the show.

Heidi: Purse versus pocketbook??  That’s not regional, that’s generational! That’s mom versus grandma!  :-)  I kid….but really, pocketbook??

The Award for Best (Worst??) Metaphor (I think…): Carrie Ann Innaba for “I can see the colors of your growth”.

Heidi: WTF?? So Carrie and Sam were eating mushrooms together back at craft services. Or smokin’ some weed in their trailers. Or something. OR, CAI is doing hallucinogens – which would explain all the colors. Well, that’s what I’ve heard, anyway. :-)

Courtney: I’d like to show Carrie Ann the “colors of the wind”. Maybe Hines & Kendra would like to join me…they seemed pretty gaseous this season.

The Award for the Funniest Package (Clean Version): Helio and Julianne

Heidi: I cracked up when they are doing a move where Julianne has her back to Helio and he’s all smiley like normal and Julianne says, “Are you being macho” and he instantly goes into his version of Macho which is actually “constipation face”. :-) There were several little moments like that in this package and I laughed every single time. Even after all this time. :-)

Courtney: Y’know what? These two weren’t quite as enchanting as I remember them being the first time around.  Maybe it was because they had an off-week? Or maybe we’ve had enough charming couples in seasons since that it’s not such a rarity? Idk.  I remember thinking they were cute as a button when this season was airing, but upon watching this episode again last week – meh.  This rumba was stone cold. I guess I blame a kind of crappy rumba song & some pretty bland costuming.  And Julianne actually had a few moments of what looked like 100% bona fide bitch cross her face as the judges were critiquing this one…kinda surprised, really, since everyone usually pointed out Karina & Anna in the early days for their “pouty faces” and eye rolls when getting critiques from the judges.  I daresay Julianne wasn’t exactly a happy camper this particular week and let her face show it more than usual.  I guess their package was KIND OF cute…sort of.  I just was left feeling kind of “meh” about them this time around.

Heidi: Actually, I agree about Julianne. I found several instances of her in Season 7 where she just annoyed me with her comments during the judges talking.  I have several instances where I was muttering “Shut it, Julianne. She let it get to her a lot back then – but then, she was also only…what? 19 or 20?? That’s YOUNG for the responsibility the pros have.

The Award for Best Round Trip (AKA: The Come Full Circle Award or Award for Doing a 360): Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Heidi: Maks was absolutely delightful this season – hilarious and charming. “I met the Spice Girls!!!” LOL – that was hilarious. He was a great deal of fun with Mel B. It’s a round trip because we had a few seasons of “bad Maks”….but his season was Kirstie was also very delightful. So he went to a bad place for a bit…but he came back.

Courtney: Something bad must’ve happened during Maks’ hiatus in season 6, because he was oodles of fun in season 5 and seemed troubled when he returned for season 7.  And yes, fun Maks from season 5 definitely resurfaced for season 12 – you could tell Maks was having a ball with Mel B, and their practices seemed to move much more smoothly (and with a lot more laughter!) than some of his practice sessions with his celeb ladies in subsequent seasons.  Loved his bandit mask that he wore to keep Mel’s germs off of him!

Heidi: LOL!! I was trying to think of an award for that!  He said something like, “My immune system is very fragile right now.” Which had me cracking up – dude, your partner is SICK and you’re worried about YOUR immune system.  Hilarious.

The “Fret not, dearies, there’s better things in your future!” Award: Jennifer Esposito & Melissa McCarthy, who were sitting in the audience as publicity for “Samantha Who?”

Courtney: It may not be that big of a deal, but I was just amused by the fact that these two lovely ladies were playing second bananas to Christina Applegate on a short-lived sitcom on ABC at the time, and were probably forced by their higher-ups to go sit in the audience and pretend to be having fun in order to promote the show.  Now they’re both central characters on much more popular shows (Blue Bloods and Mike & Molly, respectively) – on CBS. :-) Guess good things await those who pay their dues on ill-fated ABC sitcoms…

Heidi: And Melissa was one of the presenters for the Emmy Awards so she was standing up there when her name was announced as a nominee for Best Actress in a Comedy Series. So Awesome.  Christina was in the audience during the Season 7 finale, clearly cheering on Lance – she looked rather bitter after Brooke and Derek’s freestyle. :-)  Well, not bitter…resigned.

Early Signs of Upcoming Dementia Award: Len, for mistakenly referring to M&M’s as “fruity”

Courtney: This might also fall under the “feeble attempt at a pun” category, because Len was trying to take their names and liken them to a “fruity, sweet, & delicious” candy…only one problem: M&M’s aren’t fruity, last I checked.  Unless of course, you referring to the limited edition coconut ones, which are FAB – but not probably what Len was talking about.  Pretty sure he meant “Skittles”, but didn’t want to ruin his perfect little pun.  You can even hear Tom chuckle in the background at that one.  Then again, maybe M&M’s are like Coke, and they taste different in different parts of the world… do we have any British readers? Are M&M’s fruity over there? Like…currant-flavored or something? Y’all seem to really like currants over the pond…

Heidi: Len was having a moment. :-)  But ya know, those Brits are just insane – UK’s sweetheart is a woman who lip syncs and is going back to her womanizing husband so it’s ENTIRELY possible that they have fruity M&M’s.  It would not surprise me. :-)  I mean, don’t they eat sheep’s stomach and something called “spotted dick”??  And this is the straight guys!

Best Example of How a Musical Guest Should Perform: Jennifer Lopez

Courtney: Seriously, I miss the days when musical guests on DWTS  could & would do more than just stand at a mic and sing, albeit rather apathetically (looking at YOU, Jennifer Hudson).  Jennifer may not be the most gifted vocalist in the world, but she sang (on pitch!) AND got out there and danced, without losing her breath, and when she wasn’t dancing, she at least moved about the stage and tried to get the crowd amped up.  How many musical guests in recent seasons can say they’ve done all of that? Anymore, I feel like some of the musical acts we get on the results show are there only because their handlers think it’ll be good publicity, and they seem to half-ass their way through their song and leave it to the pro dancers be the main source of entertainment.  Say what you will about Jennifer (people seem to really love or hate her – I’m in the former camp ;-)), but she got out there and performed her ass off…that’s more than I can say for some of the musical guests we’ve seen.  And while she may not have needed the entertainment value of the pro dancers she had for “Let’s Get Loud”, they were awesome too…damn I miss the days of the truly outstanding pro dances.  Seasons 5 & 6 were the heydey of the awesome pro numbers!

Heidi: Ahem. I have to object.  I do love Jennifer on AI, but I heard that she made DWTS re-shoot that song because there was too much focus on the pro dancers (also read it was one of the few that Derek had a hand in choreographing) and not enough on her. At which point I felt the need to bitch-slap. :-)  We don’t get enough pro dances as it is (although it was better back then than it is now), don’t be re-shooting to cut them out. You can tell this is the case just because of how the dancing is going full-on when the camera cuts back to Jennifer. They normally do a lot better of pausing the dancing when the camera isn’t on them, or splitting between dancing and singing.  I was irked. Pretty sure it came from one of the pros too, that little tid bit.

Courtney: Diva or not, I liked her performance.  I’d rather have a musical guest that tries too hard than one that looks like they’d rather be getting a root canal than performing on the show. And at least she had a number where she included pro dancers, even if it was limited – seems like a lot of the artists these days bring their own dancers and eliminate the need for the pros altogether.

Next time, on the Cheesecake Awards….Season 6, Week 7!!! You have two weeks or so.

July 20, 2011 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)