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DWTS 16, Week 9 – Power Rankings

Things I learned from tonight’s episode of DWTS:

1.) Don’t feel like wearing heels? No problem…as long as your name is Zendaya or Aly.

2.) Even wearing a played-out hipster fedora, Peanut is still the coolest person in the ballroom.

3.) You can apparently praise a couple that was blatantly OUT of sync for being IN sync…and not mean it ironically.

4.) You get a 30! And YOU get a 30! And you get a 30, too! Whoops…not you, Ingo.

5.) Even an exhausted Jacoby is ten times more fun to watch then an Aly operating at peak efficiency.

Yeah.  I feel enlightened :-P But not really, because I vacillate between thinking the judges’ agenda is blantantly clear and thinking “WTF was that?” So let’s get to it…

1.) Zendaya & Val – Color me NOT surprised that she got hip-hop, and color me even LESS surprised that she got a perfect 30 – she SHOULD have gotten a perfect 30, given that the girl has been dancing hip hop “since she was 8″.  And then there’s that whole being employed on a show where she is dancer…but noooo, Zendaya doesn’t have an advantage! But anywho – she was great in the hip-hop, but I expected her to be great in the hip-hop; I actually think I saw Val getting a bit out-of-sync with her, which I imagine is the result of him being completely green in the hip-hop arena.  I actually found the song choice a bit odd – really? Chris Brown? It worked, but it just felt…strange.  And I just HATE those pants that look like they’re made from trash bags and are intentionally saggy in the crotch…looks like a diaper.  As for the quickstep – I agree that it was definitely not perfect and there were clearly some issues…but I don’t know that I would have dropped the hammer like the judges did.  Almost felt like they were being intentionally over-the-top, perhaps to whip those darling youngin’s that spend more time on Twitter & Instagram than they do on schoolwork into voting even harder (for those of you wondering what I’m talking about, just check out the comments section of the pic of Ingo & Kym posted on the DancingABC instagram yesterday…it’s a sh*tshow).  I thought the intro with the cars took up too much time, and there were a couple instances where there were synchonization issues with feet.  And again, with the wide-leg pants….WTF? Once again, I have to chalk this one up to choreographic issues – Val seemed to go more for speed than for technique, likely hoping to wow everyone with just how FAST they were going, but as a result, their frame kinda fell apart.  I see no reason these two shouldn’t make the finale – and with the judges already plugging Zendaya’s upcoming album in her critique, I think the agenda as far as she’s concerned is pretty damn clear.

2.) Kellie & Derek – Glad to see that the red screen from Ricki’s Psycho tango got to make a reappearance :-P Really liked the Argentine tango – it was refreshing, for once, to see the celeb dancing circles around the pro, rather than vice-versa…Kellie seemed to be doing a lot of the intricate footwork, and I think Derek was probably smart to utilize Kellie’s long legs and her ability to extend them.  Lots of pretty leg lines.  Thought the pose for a pseudo-kiss in the middle was a bit odd & awkward, and I wasn’t wild about the wig they put on Kellie, but overall, I enjoyed it.  I actually really enjoyed their flamenco – as a side note, those stomping movements that Derek was doing are deceptively hard to do and require a lot of technique…otherwise, doing them wrong, repeatedly, can actually cause hairline fractures in the feet.  Kellie seemed like she might have been a bit tired after their tango, because I got the impression that she was having to really soldier through the flamenco – but it was fun to watch, nonetheless, and was nice to see PROPER flamenco choreography :-) Loved the trick at the end, too.  Again, I see no reason why they shouldn’t make the finale…and I’m already curious as to what Derek pulls out for these “supersized” freestyles.  Did they really need to be “supersized” again, though?

3.) Aly & Mark – I just don’t get it.  The judges turn the biggest blind eye, by far, to Aly’s mistakes – and I’m sorry, but even though she seems like a sweet girl, it’s week 9 and she’s still about as interesting to me as watching paint dry.  I think the only week I was really on the Aly bandwagon was Stevie Wonder week, when she seemed to hit a stride, but I feel like both of her dances this week were just lukewarm.  I can’t be the only one who thought her rumba felt more like a contemporary routine than a rumba – and the few rumba steps that were in it got kind of repetitive, and were pretty simple.  I guess I didn’t HATE it, and it wasn’t BAD…but I just find myself going “Meh.” The chemistry was tepid, and the rumba content really wasn’t there for me.  As for the Afro jazz – brave routine, but c’mon judges…BLATANT synchronization issues here.  And you guys went so far as to PRAISE it??? Is the Ministry of Truth editing your commentary? (If you’re a tween and you didn’t get that literary reference, get off the damn interwebs and go check 1984 out of the library – like right meow.) I go back & forth between liking & disliking Mark’s Afro jazz choreography - yes, it definitely had Afro jazz steps and an overall Afro jazz feel, but like their contemporary routine earlier this season, it felt a little like “Afro jazz by numbers”: ok, now we’re going to stomp our feet! Then we’re going to swing our arms! Then we’re going to jump! Then we’re going to swing our arms again! Once again, I found myself thinking “What would a SYTYCD choreographer think of this?”And I think the answer would probably be something like “Well…that was cute.” I think with their scores, they should have no issues making it to the finale – but I think they may fade into the background next to Kellie, Zendaya, & Jacoby.

4.) Jacoby & Karina – I think pigs must be flying, because it actually looked like Jacoby cleaned up his footwork this week! I was very pleasantly surprised by his Argentine tango – if there was one dance that was really going to put those bad feet on display, it was this one.  But he seemed to handle the intricate footwork really, really well, and had no problems with the lifts.  And this goes without saying – but he carried off the tango “swagger” well, too.  One of the best dances he’s done this season.  Not gonna lie – the Lindy Hop was totally fun to watch, but it did feel a bit thrown together to me…like maybe Karina spent most of the week working on the Argentine tango (smart idea) and then lost track of time and had to scramble to put the Lindy together.  Nonetheless, it was extremely entertaining, and Jacoby looked like he was having the time of his life…boy seems to like dances where he can kick his legs :-) I think these two deserve to be in the finale, and I’m hoping they’ll be there…but the fact that Jacoby has been in jeopardy the past two weeks has got me a little bit worried.  I like to think he’s handily beating Ingo in votes…but have the GH fans rallied? I doubt we’ll see a real bottom 2 tomorrow, but if we did…I have to wonder if Jacoby would be part of it.  I hope I’m wrong!

5.) Ingo & Kym – Anyone else notice that Kym’s costumes have gotten progressively skimpier as the season has worn on? Not that I’m complaining – everyone knows I respect the Awesome Boobage.  :-) But I have to wonder if it’s an attempt to distract from how truly awkward Ingo is on the floor – I say it every week, but man, poor guy still seems just as awkward to me now as he did in week 1.  Their samba was almost comically bad – Ingo seemed like he was really focusing hard, but was always about 1 beat too fast…and the hip shaking just was stiff & weird.  I think their Charleston had the potential to be cute – but unfortunately, there were timing issues in this one as well, and it also seemed like they didn’t do a whole lot of the Charleston basic…seemed like a lot of running around and lifts, and just a couple basics.  Then again, I have had the feeling for a few weeks now that Kym is just burnt out and ready to be done with this season, and maybe just doesn’t have the energy to try and conceal Ingo’s many dancing eccentricities with very clever choreography.  Nothing against Kym – I just think the poor woman is exhausted and running on fumes.  If it wasn’t obvious by the scoring, I think Ingo’s toast tomorrow – we don’t know for sure if he was in the bottom 2 last week, but I’d venture a guess that he probably was; he’s been there before.  There’s still a part of me that’s a bit uneasy about the GH fans somehow rallying and keeping him around, and I think Jacoby is the most likely target if Ingo somehow manages to get the votes…but I hope he doesn’t, because he’d look woefully underqualified next to Kellie, Zendaya, Jacoby, & Aly.

So what are your thoughts on tonight’s show? And who do you think is headed to the finale? :-)

May 13, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 15 End-of-Season Awards: Which Dance Was the Worst?

And the fun continues…

 worst15

Write-ins:

Gilles & Peta’s Bollywood – 3

Bristol & Mark’s cha-cha – 2

Shawn & Derek’s non-samba samba – 2

Kirstie & Maks’ paso doble trio – 1

Shawn & Derek’s bhangra – 1

Gilles & Peta’s cha-cha – 1

Melissa & Tony’s freestyle – 1

Sabrina & Louis’ paso doble – 1

Shawn & Derek’s rumba – 1

Kelly & Val’s contemporary – 1

Courtney: This is all I’ll say about the write-ins: it’s obvious when someone is writing in a certain dance simply out of spite, or just to try to get a reaction out of people.  How very puerile of them :-) Was Pam & Tristan’s cha-cha a bizarre, fumbly train wreck? Yeah, but I almost think it’s unfair to even count first week dances…because they’re the ones with the highest potential to look like crap.  I usually find myself more turned off by bad dances that occur later on in the season – because by that point, you can’t cite “first week jitters” as a reason to f*ck up.  For that reason, I actually think I chose Gangnam Style – I hated that dance because it was a cop-out.  They basically got a free pass to do ANYTHING they wanted – they could have put a completely unique spin on it, thrown in some cool tricks & lifts, and incorporated some ballroom steps to please Len.  Instead, it was as if they said “Y’know what? Let’s just copy the video, add some additional raunch, and call it a day.” Was it fun? Sure.  But I can think a dance is fun and also think it’s terrible. Case in point? Carson & Anna’s pirate Viennese waltz in season 13.  Amusing in a trainwreck fashion, but I definitely wouldn’t say it was my favorite of that season…or even that week, and it was still a complete mess. I think my second choice was Bristol & Mark’s quickstep, because it just ended up being a complete mess, both in terms of choreography & execution.  Not sure what to make of the surfer flamenco – I guess I would categorize that one as a “cop-out” as well, since it seemed like they said “Welp, we don’t know any flamenco, so let’s do paso in skimpy swimsuits and hope nobody notices!”

Heidi: Courtney!! How dare you say that people write in comments just out of spite!! That NEVER happens here!! Well, okay, only every other day. ;-) Totally agree with you that I wouldn’t look at first week dances and cry out “worst dance ever!!” So many of them DO look like crap in the first week. Anyway, when I looked at this category two dances immediately came to mind – Team Gangnam Style and Gilles’ Bollywood nightmare.  Team Gangnam style just disgusted me because they didn’t even TRY. Any actual dancing that was included was sloppy and disjointed – I seem to recall thinking that Emmett was the only standout from that mess.  Pretty sure that’s the one I voted for…although I could have written in Gilles. :-)

Vogue: When I saw this poll, I almost voted for the Team Gangnam dance as the Worst dance. I remember thinking it was just awful comparted to Team Call Me Maybe’s dance which was so well executed, choreographed and full of creative content. In the end though, I voted for Val and Kelly’s Surfer Flamenco (what an awful combination) as that dance beat them all as worst dance ever in all of the seasons of Dancing With The Stars PUT TOGETHER! 8O

February 21, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 15, Week 9 – Power Rankings

Well, if you’re reading this, it means enough people FINALLY stopped hitting “refresh” on the homepage that I could get logged into the dash and actually get these posted :-P And with the way things are going, things might not calm down until Tuesday morning…so if this is late, sorry, but we got hit with too much traffic and my pleas for people to scale back the traffic on Twitter went unanswered.  C’est la vie.

Maybe I’m just tired and apathetic from a full day of Thanksgiving grocery shopping and house cleaning, but I’m feeling a bit blasé about tonight – a few standout performances that I enjoyed, but overall, nothing too surprising, and I think things played out the way they should have…and as we suspected, the judges finally got real and managed to call certain couples out on the crap they’ve been getting away with for the past several weeks, and couples that have been putting in the effort finally got the love they deserved. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

1.) Shawn & Derek - In quite possibly the biggest surprise of the night for me, I actually ended up enjoying their Knight Rider bhangra the most out of any dance I saw tonight! Judging from some of the frustrated tweets we were seeing from the usually-unflappable Derek this weekend, I was fully prepared for this to be a hot mess – but it actually was the most high-energy, in-synch, and entertaining routine for me tonight.  I think the speed of it was what really impressed me – they were both moving so fast, and doing such intricate steps, and were still somehow staying almost perfectly in synch.  And the most amusing aspect? Shawn actually seemed to dance it better than Derek! :-P I also thought they managed to put that hideous Bollywood routine that Gilles & Peta did to shame, which was another perk ;-) Overall, I think they handled the wacky dance  theme challenge the best of the five couples.  Moving onto their Argentine tango – another technically flawless dance.  Shawn’s feet & legs were sharp and precise, which was the main complaint I had about Melissa’s dance – but I do agree a bit with Carrie Ann (and those words literally hurt my mouth) that Shawn & Derek had a little bit of a disconnect with the emotion of the dance.  HOWEVER – this is something for which I really have to blame the music.  “Bad” is a great song, but maybe not a great song for an Argentine tango – it’s a song about a guy asserting his authority and masculinity, and he’s doing it in a cheeky way.  It’s not about passion or the thrill of the chase between a man and a woman…so I feel like if they had actually gone the smoldery route, it would have looked a little odd and out of place given the music.  I also thought Derek did a slightly better job of really accenting the music with his choreography than Tony did.  When it came to the two Argentine tangos we saw tonight, Melissa may have had more of an emotional connection, but I thought Shawn had the better technique.  I thought they should have gotten the same score – either downgrade Melissa a point or upgrade Shawn a point, whichever.  In the end, I think they may be the only couple that is a lock for the finale…at least I hope.

2.) Apolo & Karina – HALLELUJAH!!! They finally got the praise they deserve for their chemistry.  Loved their rumba – I thought it was the perfect combination of good choreography and good emotion, and Apolo just NAILED the technique.  And for those who poo-pooh “Man in the Mirror” as a rumba song – I think they injected far more romance into that rumba than Kelly & Val did with a song that was far more outwardly romantic.  Then there was the “Big Top Jazz” – sigh.  It wasn’t perfect – I agree that there were a few stumbles, and it felt a little frantic at times.  But I really don’t think it was nearly as bad as the judges (Carrie Ann in particular) were making it sound – the degree of difficulty was much higher than Kelly’s flamenco or Emmitt’s Lindy hop, and possibly even Melissa’s hustle, and I still think he managed to stay far more in-synch than both Kelly & Emmitt.  I also thought the lifts were amazing, and didn’t know what Carrie Ann was talking about, claiming they were clunky – I actually think Apolo could give Tony a run for his money, and I’ve always said that Tony is the best lifter we’ve ever seen on the show (and Julianne the best liftee).  Was it his best dance? No.  Did I enjoy it? Somewhat.  But hopefully it’s just a minor, mediocre hiccup in an otherwise pretty damn strong season.  I think Apolo is the strongest guy left, and deserves to be in the finale – and I feel a little bit better knowing he’s got a 3-point lead over Emmitt & Kelly, even if it doesn’t equal out to a huge margin.  I do think he’s getting a decent amount of votes – both from loyal voters who’ve gotten pissed at his low-balling this season, and possibly from the voters who go for the “hot guy”…now that Gilles is gone, at least some of them must be impressionable enough to toss a few votes Apolo’s way ;-) Perhaps I’m being optimistic there, but while I wouldn’t necessarily put money on Apolo making it through to the finale next week, I would say I’m at least 76% confident he will.  I think the judges do realize he’s one of the strongest dancers left, and probably want him in the finale…hopefully America agrees. Read more..

November 19, 2012 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!