Jake Pavelka | Pure Dancing with the Stars

DWTS Who Wore it Better? Part XIII – The Chelsie Appreciation Edition

Well she may not be on the show this season, but “out of sight” is certainly not “out of mind” for us here at PureDWTS! What better time to show Chelsie she’s loved than now?

I must confess, due to my own pessimistic tendencies, this was originally supposed to be the Anna Apprecation Edition, because I was so certain she wouldn’t be back this season. But thankfully, she is, and now I have inspiration to create subsequent editions of WWIB featuring all of the female pros – eventually. ;-) Finding costume dittos is hard sometimes, even for someone with a freakishly near-photographic memory like mine…

Battle of the peach jeweled ballgown: Brooke’s Viennese waltz with Derek in season 7 vs. Chelsie’s pro dance with Dmitry to Jewel in season 8

Heidi: I think the look worked on Brooke simply so that the dress didn’t detract from the emotion of the dance, which was a Viennese Waltz to Daughters, by John Mayer. It’s kind of plain on her, otherwise. I prefer it on Chelsie, and I like her softer hairstyle with this dress. Of course, it could just be the lighting.

Courtney: I noticed several patterns with Chelsie’s costume choices while compiling this post. The first is that she has an affinity for doing very lifty, contemporary choreo while wearing shortened ballgowns. You can’t see in this picture, but this dress has actually been shortened substantially – check it out on the Randall website. May not be of any consequence to you guys, but I do find it kind of interesting how the costume department, when pressed for time & unable to create new costumes, just takes what they have on hand & changes it to work for them – very resourceful. Anywho! I always thought the dress was very pretty on Brooke, but I’m not sure it’s a color she would pick for herself – seems too demure, and better suited to someone more wholesome and youthful, like Chelsie. And I’m not wild about Brooke’s hair – looks too…plastered down? Idk.

The winner: Chelsie, for better coloring…or maybe lighting.

Battle of the black, fringed, jewel-trimmed Latin dress: Chelsie in the season 11 finale opening dance vs. Anna’s opening credits shoot with Sugar Ray in season 12

Courtney: Another pattern I noticed with Chelsie: she is so freaking hard to get a decent screen cap of!!!!! Seriously – she never stops moving, and her technique is so good that she moves with such a range of motion that she’s seldom in a position where she’s facing the camera, in a neutral position. I got so many bad screenshots of her moving her body in crazy ways that made it impossible to see her costume well. She also seems fond of black-fringed costumes – this one is pretty similar to the one she wore for her cha-cha with Romeo, and she wore gloves for both. In truth – I’m not wild about this version of the black-fringed costume. Since there’s very little sparkle, it just seems to look a little blah on both ladies for me. At least with the Romeo version, there was quite a bit of sparkle to give the costume some depth. I prefer colored versions of this particular style, such as the hot pink & multicolored versions featured in WWIB Part XI.

Heidi: I don’t care for the long black gloves with the short, fringed latin dresses – I don’t get that wardrobe choice at all. Other than that, there isn’t much to say about it really – it’s hard to see but I really prefer the dress on Anna – and again, it could just be the background and the lighting influencing me. I’m so easy.

The winner: Anna by a hair…with an assist from the background & lighting

Battle of the sheer, white, feather-trimmed ballgown: Cheryl’s Viennese waltz with Chad in season 10 vs. Chelsie’s dance with Mark in the “America’s Favorite Dancers” show

Heidi: They all have their “tics” don’t they?? Mark’s is high water pants and polka dots, Cheryl’s is the sheer ballgown skirt. I much prefer Cheryl’s tic in this case, although I do find it a rather strange choice. As for who wore it better?? Well, I think Chelsie is wearing it like it’s a dress made for CHERYL, if that makes sense. It doesn’t really seem like it belongs on her, and I also prefer Cheryl’s hairstyle, as it is fancy, fancy, fancy…just like the dress.

Courtney: Ahhh yes – another representative of Cheryl’s ongoing infatuation with sheer-skirted ballgowns This one is odd for me: I think the bodice is gorgeous, with all of the beading & delicate details, but the skirt…looks totally silly to me. Like they let a class of preschoolers decorate it with a bunch of feathers & pom-poms. All that’s missing is the uncooked macaroni and you’ve got yourself a craft project! I don’t know…they both look good from the waist up, and bizarre from the waist down. I’m apathetic.

The winner: Cheryl loves her some sheer skirts…and rocks them well.

Battle of the red, jeweled midriff Latin costume: Chelsie in the pro dance with the Mwano family in season 11 vs. Edyta’s salsa relay with Ashley in season 9

Courtney: Chelsie costuming pattern #3: she will never show her stomach completely. Seriously…find me an example of her midriff being completely exposed and I will gladly admit I’m wrong. She’ll wear cut-out dresses, or ones that show a teeny-tiny bit of belly, but then you’ve got 2-piece costumes like this where they slap a piece of mesh down the front. This costume definitely had to go through some un-Edytafication before Chelsie would wear it…the mesh, the extra layer of fabric on the skirt to cover the sides, the increased chest coverage. Normally I would give this one to Edyta, no contest, but the open sides of the skirt look weird to me. Gotta go with Chelsie this time.

Heidi: Edyta, by a mile. It was originally designed for her and by adding back material it just makes an already unfortunate dress worse. When you add the mesh on the front it make the whole dress look heavy, what with the double patterned belts around the hips and under the bra line. I think Edyta is just playing the part here better than Chelsie is – and damn that woman has a body. :-)

The winner: Edyta, for playing the part.

Battle of the lavender, jewel-trimmed, one-shoulder ballgown: Kym’s Viennese waltz with Donny in season 9 vs. Chelsie’s Viennese waltz with Jake in the season 10 finale

Heidi: I think Chelsie is a bit too short for this dress – maybe if it was straight to the floor instead of layered it would work better for me. Both women look very pretty, but I’m gonna have to go with Kym, I believe.

Courtney: This is another thing I hate about screen-capping – it always makes colors look too warm. The dress is closer to the color on the left than the color on the right – but it’s a pretty color, regardless. I think it’s a good example of the “less is more” concept of costuming – very simple silhouette, flattering color, minimal trim. Lovely Looks great on both ladies, but I have to give this one to Kym – love her romantic wavy hair. Looks like Chelsie may have been the victim of the dreaded quick-change, which usually necessitates un-fussy, generically-styled hair to fit multiple costumes.

The winner: She of the Awesome Boobage dominates once again.

Battle of the gold, fringed, halter-top Latin dress: Chelsie in the season 8 intros vs. Ashly in the 150th episode pro dance to “Hard to Handle” in season 6

Heidi: Hmmm….tough call. Both ladies wear this dress well. It compliments both Chelsie’s sunny, California girl look, and Ashly’s darker hair and complexion. This one is a tough call!! I think I’m leaning toward Chelsie, but I have to idea why.

Courtney: Maybe because we have a hard time believing a wholesome Mormon mommy like Ashly would pick out an outfit like this for herself? I dunno, at least that’s what I think – both ladies are on the wholesome side, but Chelsie is able to pull off sexier, flashier outfits a bit better, IMO. The impression I get from Ashly in this dress is that “I had to wear a gold dress to match the other dancers, so I bit the bullet and picked out the most conservative one I could.” Plus I love the way a gold outfit looks paired with blonde hair

The winner: Chelsie, for looking more comfortable being sexy.

Battle of the pale blue, jeweled high-neck ballgown: Nicole’s waltz with Derek in season 10 vs. Chelsie’s pro dance with Dmitry to Goo Goo Dolls in season 11

Courtney: I had completely forgotten about this one – and now that I’m looking at it, I’m realizing that it is really a beautiful dress. Simple silhouette with delicate details. Again, looks great on both ladies, but I’m gonna go with Nicole on this one – I think this dress is better balanced as a long dress, and the high neck looks a bit odd on Chelsie.

Heidi: I think the high collar on this dress rather begs for an upswept, formal hairstyle. It draws the eye to a nice neck and you don’t want your hair ruining the effect. So, I have to go with Nicole also. The bodice of the dress with the shorter length (and lack of shoes) on Chelsie just doesn’t look quite right.

The winner: Nicole, by a length…of dress.

DWTS13 Casting Rumors – The Typecasting of Season 13, Part II

So with each hour closer to the cast announcement that we get, we seem to be getting more and more leaks of who’s in – the next 24 hours will definitely be the time to stay tuned to PureDWTS, as we’ll be posting any potential last minute leaks as soon as we hear them! I dunno about you guys, but I’m getting excited…so let’s take a look at who else we might expect to see, based on casting patterns

The Teen Idol

Previous examples: Joey McIntyre, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Lance Bass, Mel B., Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Cody Linley, Sabrina Bryan, Mario Lopez, Kyle Massey, Chelsea Kane, Romeo

Advantages: If sales of Tiger Beat are any indicator, the teenyboppers will come out in full force to support their favorite heartthrobs/idols. Being young & good-lookin’ sure doesn’t hurt! Many also have the added advantage of having a decent dance background, especially if they were part of a musical act.

Disadvantages: Youth can also have its disadvantages – as in immaturity. What some might call “youthful exuberance”, others might call “immaturity” or “attention deficit disorder” – poor Cody Linley had a hard time sitting still! Emotional immaturity (a la Aaron Carter’s post-rumba meltdown in the confessional) can be especially off-putting. They’ve also got to contend with the large middle-aged female contingent of viewers/voters – they far outnumber the young viewers likely to vote for them.

Possible candidates this season: Now that the Candace Cameron-Bure rumor seems to have died down, it looks like we’re going to be seeing former child starKim Richards, also of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fame…maybe she’s doing double-duty as the reality star this season, too!

The Host

Previous examples: Jerry Springer, Brooke Burke, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Lopez, Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rinna, Tucker Carlson, Mark Dacascos, Rocco DiSpirito, Erin Andrews, Wendy Williams, Mike Catherwood

Advantages: Being that they’ve been at the helm of their own shows, these guys usually have the media savvy & charisma to appeal to the masses, as well as the previous exposure & recognizability. Most (not all!) are also decently attractive, which never seems to hurt (unless, of course, you’re a model – see previous post for explanation).

Disadvantages: Many hosts are only used to hosting – as in just sitting down & talking (or dodging the occasional punch, if you’re Springer), so the lack of movement experience problem seems to come into play.

Possible candidates this season: I’ve started preparing myself to watch Nancy Grace try to hoof it this season, though I can’t say I’m even the tiniest bit excited about it. Someone hosts I’d rather see? Craig Ferguson or Ricki Lake – the former is just hilarious, and the latter might actually be pretty good due to her Broadway background.

The Actor

Previous examples: John O’Hurley, Melissa Joan Hart, Steve Guttenburg, John Ratzenberger, Debi Mazar, Denise Richards, Ted McGinley, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennie Garth, Vivica Fox, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Shannen Doherty, Jennifer Grey, David Hasselhoff, Ralph Macchio, Kirstie Alley

Advantages: Being that their bread & butter is acting, most can usually nail the emotions of the dances. Bonus points if they’ve done any Broadway (like Winokur) because they have likely had dance experience.

Disadvantages: For lack of a better term, many of them seem to be “has-beens” – actors that haven’t been particularly active in the mainstream in the past several years – or were never that big to begin with (can anyone else think of anything John O’Hurley has been in BESIDES Seinfeld?), making it harder for them to garner votes from a public who may not remember them.

Possible candidates this season: I think it’s safe to say David Arquette is a lock. There’s been a couple of murmurs about Henry Winkler as well, and I’m still wondering if Lorenzo Lamas is gonna crop up, after all the talking he did last season.

The Reality Star

Previous examples: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Rycroft, Steve-O, Holly Madison, Trista Sutter, Shanna Moakler, Kate Gosselin, Jake Pavelka, Audrina Patridge, The Situation

Advantages: Many have achieved pop culture icon status on their respective reality outlets, making them fairly recognizable.

Disadvantages: They may be memorable for the wrong reasons – people tended to remember things like Kim Kardashian’s sex tape more than her reality show when she was on DWTS, and people seemed more focused on Holly Madison’s split from Hef than her antics on The Girls Next Door. Many can also come across as attention-hungry & talentless(*cough*JakePavelka*cough*) – reality TV is often looked down upon as a way to get famous without having any talent whatsoever.

Possible candidates this season: We had the great Snooki scare of 2011 (which I doubt is going to amount to anything), but Rob Kardashian & Kristen Cavallari’s names are still being tossed around.

The Singer:

Previous examples: Mya, Billy Ray Cyrus, Mario, Belinda Carlisle, Master P, Chuck Wicks, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Toni Braxton, Macy Gray, Nicole Scherzinger

Advantages: As with the teen idols, many have had dance experience concurrent with their music careers.

Disadvantages: Most seem to be committed solely to one genre of music (often R&B or country), making it hard to appeal to a wide fanbase.

Possible candidates this season: Christina Milian’s name has been said quite a bit, but we haven’t had any confirmation. But rumor has it Chynna Philips is definitely in.

The Wild Card

Previous examples: Heather Mills, Tom DeLay, Mark Cuban, Steve Wozniak, Priscilla Presley, Buzz Aldrin, Bristol Palin

Advantages: The sheer novelty of having someone with such an off-the-beaten-path claim to fame (famous divorcee/widow, entrepreneur, disgraced politician, etc.) may be enough to have the public voting them – just to see what happens. Being the “underdog” is a powerful thing…as we saw with Bristol last season!

Disadvantages: Due to their often dubious fame, people just may not have any clue who they are – I personally had to Google Mark Cuban’s name. There’s also the risk of backlash from some viewers who don’t think they’re “stars” per se, and shouldn’t even be on the show in the first place.

Possible candidates this season: I’d say our best bet is Chaz Bono.

So we’re mere hours away from the official announcement, gang – who do you think is in and who do you think is just wishful thinking? Be sure to check back here for Heidi’s Casting Announcement Live Blog starting at 8 PM EST tomorrow night …she (and the rest of us) suffer through Bachelor Pad so you don’t have to! And make sure you’re following @puredwts & @tvblog on Twitter for up-to-the-minute updates on who’s in!

Dance of the Day… Let’s look at some Infamous Alumni…

Throughout the years that I’ve watched Dancing With The Stars, one thing that I’ve absolutely LOVED! was being able to get to know celebrities in a different way than we’ve ever known them. And, I’ve loved learning to actually like, and come to care for, several different celebrities that I thought that I would NOT like at all… Only to find that they’re HUMAN, and that I cared about the people they’ve allowed us to see.

This Dance of the Day post isn’t about them…. But, we’ll see some in a future post.

I’ve decided to take a different approach to the Dance of the Day, and look at those that…. For one reason or another, ended up in a different category than those that we’ve come to love. And….. I guess I’ll explain as I go.

JAKE PAVELKA. I’m starting with Jake, because he is the reason that this post is existing! I will admit that I DON’T watch any of the Bachelor franchise, so my first real exposure of Jake was during the episode of the Bachelor where they first announced the next seasons cast of Dancing With The Stars. And, surprise of surprise, he was announced as a contestant, with his brand new fiancee, Vienna Girardi,in the audience.

According to his IMDB page, he had some bit acting parts, both before and after the Bachelor franchise appeared. He was first a contestant on the Bachelorette, and followed that up with his first run as the Bachelor. From the Bachelor, he gained a spot on DWTS, Season 10, partnered by Chelsie Hightower.

This is what I consider to be his most memorable routines, their Risky Business Cha Cha, which gained them an 8 7 8 for 23 points.

Afterwards…. Jake and Vienna had a rather nasty split…. That’s all I will say, but if you care to review the break up, go to your favorite search engine…. From there, he headed to Famous Food, where I couldn’t find any youtube links, and now, he’s on Bachelor Pad. With his Ex, and her new boyfriend.
Recently Jake appeared on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. I tried to listen to this several times, honestly, and haven’t been able to listen to the whole thing, because he didn’t endear me during DWTS, and neither he nor Vienna are very truthful in my opinion. If you feel like listening to the whole thing, go here. It’s rather interesting. Especially the part about possibly returning as Bachelor again….

Okay….. I promise to NOT go off onto the soapbox again…. I hope.

Next up, Lawrence Taylor! Lawrence danced with Edyta Sliwinska in Season 8, and yes, during his run on the show, did seem charming. In week 7, he performed the waltz with Edyta to Journey’s Open Arms, and this was the week the contestant designed the costumes, and he chose to “put Edyta in clothes” only to have her become tangled up in them during the dance.

After he left…. Well, “our” LT was arrested, and convicted of a crime against a female, and was sentenced, and labeled. You can read a bit about it here or visit your favorite search engine. It’s not something that I want to hear again, or bring up here, I would like to leave this haven a “safe zone.” But, it definitely put L.T. among my list of “Infamous DWTS Alumni.”

And last for today, David Alan Grier…. Another season 8 Alumni. I was curious at the beginning of the season, how things would work between David and Carrie Ann, since both were on In Living Color…. But as it turned out, she didn’t end up his favorite judge. Things really seemed well during his run, and we saw this Viennese Waltz on week 5, with his partner, she of the awesome boobage, Kym Johnson. They danced to “I Put a Spell on You” by Nina Simone and got 7 8 7 for 22 points.

HOWEVER! This was also the week they were eliminated, and he showed some “bad sport.” THIS is why I’ve put him on my “infamous” list…. He put the sweet and wonderful Kym into a very bad spot at the end of this interview, and he really has some bad stuff to say to the judges…. It’s safe to watch, they censored it.

Who would you put onto your “infamous dancers” list? And why? Do you agree with those that are here, and who would you add?

And, for another post….. Who was it that most surprised you, that you were positive that you would HATE that you ended up liking?

DWTS Who Wore it Better? Part X – The Pre-Season 12 Edition!

So the official cast pictures were released on Thursday, and we could be like every other site and just post them for you to see…or we could have fun and do a new (long-awaited!) edition of Who Wore it Better? Enjoy!

Battle of the hot pink, fringed cut-out Latin dress: Petra’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Dmitry vs. Denise’s cha-cha with Maks in season 8

Courtney: It’s almost not fair to pit ANYONE against someone as gorgeous as Petra And while I always thought Denise looked pretty awkward in every costume they put her in, Petra wears this one well – I think the color looks much more flattering on her that it does on Denise, and I love the loose, wavy hair and understated makeup.

Heidi: Well, Denise’s makeup is too over done when she’s wearing the dress – that was distracting to me. You can tell Petra is a model – she knows how to wear clothes. Conversely, Denise is an actress, NOT a model (or a dancer) and isn’t as comfortable in her skin in this sort of outfit. It shows.

The winner: Petra by a pose.

Battle of the white & black embroidered, ruffled “crotch doily” dress: Lacey’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Mike vs. Lacey’s jive with Kyle in season 11

Heidi: You know this dress might be cute on someone else – but not many people. Julianne could probably wear it. But this is just not a flattering cut on Lacey and I don’t get why she insists on wearing it!! But forget about the dress…what the HELL is wrong with her damn hair!?!?! Good lord, you have hair and makeup people at your disposal and this is what you do? This is not “rebel”, this is…I hate to say trailer park is the first thing that came to mind!! Limp and lifeless. You look at pictures of Lacey with the very dark hair (which makes her eyes pop) and she looks gorgeous. I don’t get why a beautiful girl sabotages herself.

Courtney: *sigh* I have to wonder sometimes what the pros’ (or the costume department’s) motivations are for picking certain costumes for these shoots. This is one of those times. I always thought this costume was silly – I think someone mentioned the comically placed “crotch doilies” on it, and it just kinda reminded me of something a circus performer would wear. As for the hair and makeup – oy. If I hated Lacey’s bleach blonde hair last season, then I downright LOATHE this dark roots, light ends ‘do she’s rocking now. Her makeup also seems a little drab in this photo shoot – I kinda liked the “pop” that the bright red lipstick gave her face when she wore this costume the first time.

The winner: Ain’t no winners here, move along.

Battle of the white-fringed, asymmetrical Latin dress: Kendra’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Louis vs. Edyta’s cha-cha with Aiden in season 10

Courtney: It’s hard for anyone to hold a candle to Edyta in pretty much any costume, but Kendra gives her a good run for her money here! Both ladies look very pretty, but I think the white is a bit more striking against Edyta’s darker hair & skin. I kinda wish they had given Kendra a more textured ‘do…maybe some loose waves or something to frame her face better than this straight hair. And what’s with this pose they’ve got her doing? Does she have to pee? Or did she forget to put on undies before leaving the house this morning?

Heidi: That’s the Playboy pose. You can take the Bunny out of the mansion but you can’t take the….wait. You can take the Bunny out of Playboy but you can’t take the playboy out of the bunny. Happy Hour wuz gud. Anyway, Edyta wins on skin tone.

Courtney: I guess we should also point out that Julianne actually wore this dress recently for she & Derek’s exhibition performance in Hong Kong. Special thanks to Lori for pointing it out

The winner: Edyta by a spray tan.

Battle of the black lace, off-the-shoulder asymmetrical hem tango dress: Wendy’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Tony vs. Niecy’s Argentine tango with Louis in season 10

Courtney: Eh…this seemed like a bit of a cop-out on the part of the costume folks. “Gee, we’ve got a curvy, outspoken black gal this season. Let’s put her in a costume that another equally curvy, outspoken black gal wore 2 seasons ago!” Kinda seemed like they were typecasting a bit with this one. I didn’t love the dress on Niecy, and I don’t love the dress on Wendy. I think I would have rather seen her in something with a little more impact – they’ve got the other gals wearing hot pink and bright white, why not Wendy? I guess if I had to chose, I would have to give this one to Niecy – her overall look seems a bit more put-together.

Heidi: I dunno, I think the cut of the dress works better on someone taller, like Wendy. Either way, I don’t like that cut high at the hip and then long in front.

The winner: A rough tie – Wendy wins for fit, Niecy wins for ensemble. But neither is perfect.

Battle of the sparkly, silver-ruffled rumba dress: Karina’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Ralph vs. Karina’s rumba with Aaron in season 9

Courtney: This dress came from the season where Karina seemed to be having a love affair with ruffles – almost every costume she wore seemed to have them! Some of you may also recall this dress as the one she was wearing when Aaron had his post-rumba meltdown in the confessional Anywho…I guess it’s kind of a pretty dress. Not necessarily my favorite rumba dress (there have been some gorgeous ones over the years), but it looks nice on her. Funny how it almost looks like it’s pale blue when she wore it in the rumba, and it clearly looks silvery-white here. Gotta love the magic of photo shoot lighting. I gotta give this one to photo shoot Karina for the oh-so-dramatic poses

Heidi: I think this dress is very pretty – but she wore it for a Rumba?? Seems very strange for a Rumba dress – of course, it was a Rumba with Aaron, so that could explain it.

The winner: Photo shoot Karina…because the only drama comes from her pose, rather than her unstable partner

Battle of the hot pink-fringed Latin dress: Chelsea’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Mark vs. Lacey’s Team Kristi cha-cha with Kyle in season 11

Heidi: Chelsea is darling. And too tall for Mark – I wish she was dancing with Derek. I smell future showmance. And exploding Bristol/Mark shipper brains. She looks great in this dress and is confident enough to wear it well. I predict top 3 with these two – either that or a shocking elimination. I still don’t like Lacey’s blonde hair, so I have to go with Chelsea.

Courtney: Ok, Chelsea may be the cutest thing EVER Out of all the celeb ladies, I think she looks the best in the costume they chose for her. Love the flirty pink color, the fringe, and her adorable blonde bob. Just darling. Lacey looks alright – definitely not the worst costume she wore last season, but the hot pink with the bleach blonde hair just looks kinda…Barbie-ish.

The winner: Mark, no question. *drum riff*

Battle of the black tuxedo-inspired dress w/ruffled neckline: Kym’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Hines vs. Kym’s freestyle with Donny in season 9

Courtney: At first blush, this may not even look like the same costume – but if you look at it a bit more closely, you’ll see that they just removed a lot of the tuxedo details, slapped on some ruffles, and turned it into a simple black Latin outfit. I think she also wore it for the opening pro dance for the season 11 finale. I kinda like the simplicity of it now, without all the cheesy tuxedo stuff - although the bowtie in the back is a bit odd. Whichever way you look at it, it makes her legs look miles long!

Heidi:I dunno, I have to go with the cheesy tuxedo version mainly because I don’t like the black ruffles at the neckline or the way it’s cut around her legs in the other version. Plus she’s really rockin’ out the hair in the tuxedo version – she makes the best, fierce dance faces ever, too – as we’ve mentioned before. So, I have to go with the in action shot versus the posed one.

The winner: Cheesy tuxedo Kym, for all-around fierceness!

Battle of the white-fringed, sparkly-neckline Latin dress: Chelsie’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Romeo vs. Chelsie’s cha-cha with Jake in season 10

Courtney: I actually really like this dress on Chelsie, even if I never did quite understand how it fit in with the “Risky Business” theme of she & Jake’s cha-cha. And I dig the fiercer, more mature look she seems to be sporting this season – I like the straight hair better than the crimpy ‘do they gave her the first time around, and I’m glad they 86′ed the long black gloves. Only one complaint: don’t she & Kendra kinda look like the Bobsy Twins? White, tiered-fringe Latin costumes with rhinestone trim & long, straight blonde hair. Wish they had put one or the other in a colored costume, just to set them apart…both are gorgeous.

Heidi: For it to fit the Risky Business theme wouldn’t she also have to be wearing a man’s dress shirt?? Or am I remembering that movie wrong?? And doesn’t it always seem to come back to hair with us when we’re talking dresses?? And yes, her dress is too close to Kendra’s – but I don’t think it’s wardrobe’s fault. There is video of Derek picking what he wants to wear and I see no reason to think that the celebs don’t go through the rack and pick what they want. The only thing is, I think they went with a color tone last season so they may have only brought clothes that went well together. Anyway, I’m with you on this one.

Courtney: You’re remembering the right movie – although Rebecca DeMornay never wore a men’s shirt in Risky Business. She did, however, wear a pretty sexy black trenchcoat & matching fedora…kinda wish they had went with that to maintain the movie theme, but unfortunately I think the men’s-shirt-over-tightie-whities look is so iconic that no one would have remembered the trenchcoat/fedora ensemble. FAIL.

The winner: Photo shoot Chelsie, for not having Fake Jake as an accessory.

Battle of the beaded black-mesh Latin dress with the plunging neckline: Anna’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Sugar Ray vs. Kym’s cha-cha with the Hoff in season 11

Courtney: I seriously think this might be my favorite Latin dress on the show, EVER. Kym was a total bombshell in this getup – the long legs, the smokey eyes, the sexy bedhead hair, the great boobs – I wanted to be Kym in that outfit. Minus the whole having to dance with the Hoff part, of course – that was painful to watch. Anna looks great in it, but as I always say, it’s hard to out-fox Kym & her awesome boobage.

Heidi:HEY!! I was gonna use “awesome boobage”. I think we’ve been blogging together a long time. Gotta agree with you. Not only awesome boobage, but better skin tone and hair for that particular dress.

Courtney: Indeed we have, dearie “Awesome boobage” is also a memorable line from an episode of South Park where Kenny hallucinates about boobs. But on a slightly off-topic note, I think (don’t quote me on this, because I haven’t done the research) this is the first time that a female pro has worn a costume for a pre-season shoot that was originally worn by another female pro. For the promo shoots, the pros seem to just pick out costumes they themselves have worn in the past and really liked…or that a celeb has worn in the past. Wonder how/why Anna ended up with Kym’s costume from last season…did she just not have any black costumes of her own to wear?

The winner:Kym’s awesome boobage.

Battle of the short purple Latin dress with black lace overlay: Cheryl’s pre-season 12 photo shoot with Chris vs. Cheryl’s “Toy Story” paso doble to Gipsy Kings with Tony in season 10

NOTE: We searched high and low for a decent quality photo of Cheryl in the Gipsy Kings performance – to no avail. Screen-capping was equally unsuccessful. So while a side-by-side comparison is impossible, you can check the dress out in action on YouTube. And here’s a special shoutout to our reader Ryan, who pointed this one out to us when we were stumped on where we had seen this dress before

Heidi: I like it, it’s cute – I think Cheryl really likes the lace overlay deal though.

Courtney: It’s a cute dress – but I’m not wild about it. Kinda seems similar to a lot of other dresses Cheryl has worn. I do think it’s funny that Cheryl’s pose for this season’s promo photo is identical to last season’s. I guess it’s become her signature pose, now that she’s gotten extensions

The winner: Ummm…Cheryl.

And a special note on Kirstie’s dress…

As far as we (and our readers, who’s help we solicited) can tell, the dress Kirstie is wearing has never been worn before on the show - or was worn so long ago that no one can remember when. If you think otherwise, and can provide the specific instance of when this dress was worn (i.e. “Cheryl wore this for her paso doble with Maurice in season 7″) or, better yet, a picture of when this dress was worn, we will post it in a future edition of “Who Wore it Better?” and give you credit But until then, enjoy some commentary from Heidi & I…

Courtney: This dress looks comfortable. Kinda like a nightgown. I’d wear it!

Heidi: Definitely straight out of the boudoir – and that’s where I’d wear it too.

Alright, folks – thus ends another edition of “Who Wore it Better?”. Hope you enjoyed Heidi & I’s warm-up round of snark before we resume the Cheesecake Awards So who do you guys think will be this season’s fashion plate? And who will be this season’s fashion victim?

DWTS Season 12 Casting Rumors – The Typecasting of Season 12, Part II

In part one of my typecasting analysis, we took a look at who we might get from the Olympian, athlete, model, comedian, legend, & soap star categories. Now let’s take a look at the other 6 categories and speculate on who else we might see before tonight’s cast announcement!

EDITOR’S NOTE: The site is getting hit with an extraordinary amount of hits right now (which is great! ) but it’s also slowing us bloggers down while we post – hence, there are no links in this edition because it’s just taking too long to add them all in. However, you can access all of the DWTS casting rumors in Vogue’s post from the other day if you need a refresher on some of these

The Teen Idol

Previous examples: Joey McIntyre, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Lance Bass, Mel B., Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Cody Linley, Sabrina Bryan, Mario Lopez, Kyle Massey

Possible candidates this season: I think the Lindsay Lohan rumor has been almost completely shot down, but Full House fans have been campaigning for both Jodie Sweetin & Candace Cameron Bure in the online voting. I’ve also seen a surge of support within the past few days for New Kids on the Block member Jonathan Knight to do the show.

The Host

Previous examples: Jerry Springer, Brooke Burke, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Lopez, Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rinna, Tucker Carlson, Mark Dacascos, Rocco DiSpirito, Erin Andrews

Possible candidates this season: Wendy Williams name has been repeated quite a bit, although Joan Rivers’ name was out there for awhile as a possible contestant.

The Actor

Possible candidates this season: Lorenzo Lamas has been claiming he’s on the casting “short list” for weeks now, so we’re thinking he’s a lock.

The Reality Star

Previous examples: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Rycroft, Steve-O, Holly Madison, Trista Sutter, Shanna Moakler, Kate Gosselin, Jake Pavelka, Audrina Patridge, The Situation

Advantages: Many have achieved pop culture icon status on their respective reality outlets, making them fairly recognizable.

Disadvantages: They may be memorable for the wrong reasons – people tended to remember things like Kim Kardashian’s sex tape more than her reality show, and people seemed more focused on Holly Madison’s split from Hef than her antics on The Girls Next Door. Many can also come across as attention-hungry & talentless – reality TV is often looked down upon as a way to get famous without having any talent whatsoever.

Possible candidates this season: Aside from the omnipresent Heidi Montag rumor and ridiculous rumors about both NeNe Leakes & Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, we’ve also heard of former Idol contestant Danny Gokey gunning for a spot.

The Singer:

Previous examples: Mya, Billy Ray Cyrus, Mario, Belinda Carlisle, Master P, Chuck Wicks, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Toni Braxton, Macy Gray, Nicole Scherzinger

Advantages: As with the teen idols, many have had dance experience concurrent with their music careers.

Disadvantages: Most seem to be committed solely to one genre of music (often R&B or country), making it hard to appeal to a wide fanbase.

Possible candidates this season: There’s been big campaigns in the online voting for both Zack Wilde & Paul Byrom, but nothing really “legit” to go off of.

The Wild Card

Previous examples: Heather Mills, Tom DeLay, Mark Cuban, Steve Wozniak, Priscilla Presley, Buzz Aldrin, Bristol Palin

Possible candidates this season: Not sure if it was the hailstorm of controversy from Bristol last season or what, but this category was booming with rumors this season – everyone from Tony Robbins to Christine O’Donnell to Al Sharpton to Brooke Mueller. Will any of them actually do the show? That remains to be seen.

So we’re mere hours away from the official announcement, gang – who do you think is in and who do you think is just wishful thinking? Be sure to check back here for Heidi’s Casting Announcement Live Blog starting at 8 PM EST…she (and the rest of us) suffer through The Bachelor so you don’t have to And make sure you’re following @puredwts & @tvblog on Twitter for up-to-the-minute updates on who’s in!

DWTS Season 11 Casting Rumors – The Typecasting of Season 11, Part II

So apparently I might be onto something with my typecasting theories, because it seems like a lot of you are also trying to deduce from the absolutely CRAZY amount of rumors flying around who might be fulfilling each type…and honestly, at this point, I have no clue what to believe But that’s the fun of DWTS, right?

If the majority of what’s being reported is true (doubtful), then it looks to me like they might actually skip some types this season (haven’t heard any major reports about soap stars or hosts); but if they’re leaking only a few actual celeb participants and the rest are red herrings, then we might get few suprises thrown in and have a more “well-rounded” cast. But enough general speculation – on with the rest of the types!

The Teen Idol

Previous examples: Joey McIntyre, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Lance Bass, Mel B., Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Cody Linley, Sabrina Bryan, Mario Lopez

Possible candidates this season: Looks like Brandy is our best guess.

The Host

Previous examples: Jerry Springer, Brooke Burke, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Lopez, Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rinna, Tucker Carlson, Mark Dacascos, Rocco DiSpirito, Erin Andrews

Possible candidates this season: Chris Jericho also hosts some show on NBC, so I guess he could do double-duty and fulfill the role of both the athlete and the host.

The Actor

Possible Candidates this season: This one has blown up big within the last few days – we’ve got David Hasselhoff, Jennifer Grey, & Florence Henderson (who could also be considered a “legend”) now on our radar. There’s been a campaign for Bern Nadette Stanis, as well as one for Leslie Jordan that he himself is heading up. Also a minor campaign for Melissa Peterman.

The Reality Star

Previous examples: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Rycroft, Steve-O, Holly Madison, Trista Sutter, Shanna Moakler, Kate Gosselin, Jake Pavelka

Advantages: Many have achieved pop culture icon status on their respective reality outlets, making them fairly recognizable.

Possible candidates this season: Oy vey – this is the subtype that has had, by far, the greatest amount of casting rumors…everyone from The Situation to Teresa Giudice to both Ali Fedotowsky & fiancée Roberto Martinez, to Audrina Patridge, but it’s hard to tell who’s got a legit chance and who’s bluffing. Personally, I’m still holding out for Sig Hansen

The Singer

Previous examples: Mya, Billy Ray Cyrus, Mario, Belinda Carlisle, Master P, Chuck Wicks, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Toni Braxton, Macy Gray, Nicole Scherzinger

Advantages: As with the teen idols, many have had dance experience concurrent with their music careers.

Disadvantages: Most seem to be committed solely to one genre of music (often R&B or country), making it hard to appeal to a wide fanbase.

Possible candidates this season: Most obvious choice? Michael Bolton. But in the same token, you could also have Brandy and/or David Hasselhoff fulfilling this role if they’re trying to kill 2 birds with one stone. The Xzibit rumor is still lingering slightly, and Pete Wentz fans are still holding out hope.

The Wild Card

Previous examples: Heather Mills, Tom DeLay, Mark Cuban, Steve Wozniak, Priscilla Presley, Buzz Aldrin

Disadvantages: Due to their often dubious fame, people just may not have any clue who they are – I personally had to Google Mark Cuban’s name.

Possible candidates this season: Can it get much wild card-ier than Bristol Palin?! Good grief…still trying to wrap my brain around how they’re going to try and spin her claim to fame…

Did you miss part I of my typecasting of season 11? Check it out here. Feeling nostalgic? Check out parts I & II of my typecasting of season 10, and see how everything stacked up ;-)

DWTS – Did He REALLY Say That??? The Tony Dovolani Edition

Our Pros, Celebrities, Judges and Hosts often say things that perhaps, from a professional standpoint, they shouldn’t. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re experiencing foot-in-mouth disease, sometimes they’re aggravating, sometimes it’s just none of their damn business. Courtney and I thought it would be fun to take some of these comments and discuss them, under the heading of “People say the Silliest Things”. Plus, some of us miss DWTS when it’s not on – this will be something to talk about.

First up, Tony Dovolani, in People Magazine Online:

“I enjoyed every bit of last season — well, most of it, I mean,” Tony Dovolani, who partnered with controversial contestant Kate Gosselin last season, told PEOPLE at the ESPY Awards Wednesday in L.A. “Next season I would like to have a more able partner, someone who doesn’t have so many distractions in their life. The producers know how I feel.”

Heidi: Oh, Tony, there are many things wrong with this statement, if remotely accurate. First off, some pros were not fortunate enough to even get a partner, let alone one that you (hopefully inadvertently) imply is disabled. Complaining about Kate – no matter how horrible she was (and she was horrible – no mistake) probably seems like Paris Hilton complaining about her new house only having 5 bathrooms to people like Dmitry, Lacey, Kym and others. And you know what, Jonathan is only sporadically on this show and he ALWAYS has a worse partner than you’ve had. Geez, you were on the cover of freakin’ PEOPLE magazine!! Besides, even slight disses against a former partner, no matter how true, strikes me as very unprofessional – and saying “the producers know how I feel” sounds arrogant. Not to mention the producers probably remember that you just took Melissa Rycroft to the final two seasons ago – more than Jonathan can say.

And then we have this gem: E!’s Awful Truth

While dishing all the goss with the Dancing with the Stars crew recently, Tony had no problem telling it like it is about Jake Pavelka and Vienna Giardi’s recent “juvenile” break up: “It was such great TV I couldn’t help but watch,” Dovolani recently joked about Jake and Vienna’s ABC special. “Wow, wasn’t that a train wreck or what? My wife and I kept looking at each other like ‘Is this really happening’,” Dovolani reiterated. “But it was great TV. Thank you!”

Courtney: Ooh wee. Now while I agree wholeheartedly with our Albanian friend that the very public, very messy demise of Jake & Vienna rivaled some of the train-wreckery previously known only to various VH1 dating series (again, I reiterate: “Can we please get a poly-a-graph test here?!” only reinforces to me that Vienna should have been cast on Rock of Love XXVII instead of The Bachelor), Tony, honey, there are definitely things that could be said with a little more tact – or in this case, not at all. So much for the alleged camaraderie of the season 10 cast (which was tenous at best), and the reasonably classy reputation that the majority of the pros tend to keep in the media. It would honestly not surprise me in the slightest if some of the pros from this season were conveniently not able to participate next season due to “lack of celebrities to match well with” – if they can sit Kym out for a season for holding out for more money, I wouldn’t put it past the producers to punish some of the more mouthy pros by not asking them back for season 11. And without getting into detail, as far as relationships go – I don’t think most of the pros on the show are in any position to be giving out opinions on relationships – there’s been enough tabloid fodder about some of them (who shall remain nameless ) to make Jake & Vienna’s split look downright civil. Just sayin’…

Heidi: Isn’t it weird that the very YOUNGEST pro on the show is the one who has shown the most tact when asked about Jake and Vienna? Chelsie was asked a direct question and, from what I saw, left it at a “could see it coming” type thing. But Courtney…you left out the best (worst?) parts of this E! thing!!

“Honestly, not my worries,” Dovolani dished to us when we asked him what he thought of the recent Kate Plus 8 investigation. “I haven’t stayed in touch with her, she hasn’t stayed in touch with me. I needed a break and I got a break—which was awesome—with my family.”

Aside from persuading “Tone-dog” to team up with Lindsay Lohan on the next season of DWTS, the babe told us he’s had it with one group of so-called celebs allowed on the ABC hit.

“I think we’ve had enough Bachelors on our show,” T.D. ‘fessed.

As for whether he’s ready to give the boot to all reality TV celebs? He said the ban doesn’t have to go that far.

“As long as they have followers I guess they are stars.”

Heidi: Well, provided that Tony is accurately quoted here, I don’t really know what to say. Dude, it just seems to me that taking direct shots at the producers in public is not really the road to job security. I could be wrong – but this is a show that has 16 to 20 pros already in the stable and they’re likely to only go with 11 to 13 stars again. Do you want to take chances?? I mean, Derek is possibly out for Season 11 (who can tell, he may never leave the bedside of a certain malaria ridden, Brit pop princess), but as far as I can tell the rest of the gang is eager to dance with a star. As far as stars to match YOU, well, there’s Maks (who is being rather circumspect right now) and Dmitry. And I KNOW Dmitry wants back on the show. He’s tweeted as much. Dude, what ARE you doing?? Even if the producers don’t care, I’ve seen several articles about your comments with the word “me-ow” included, not to mention “thrown under the bus” and other indications that we’re not alone in thinking these weren’t the wisest words you’ve ever spoken.

Dancing with the Stars – Who Wore It Better, Part II

Since the first installment of our “Who Wore it Better?” series seemed to be reasonably popular (and some of you requested more!) here’s another helping of dittoed costumes for your consideration…discuss & enjoy!

NOTE: As I (Courtney) mentioned in the comments of the other post, we know there are many, many more dittos than this – so many that it’s going to become a recurring series, hopefully with a sort of “theme” to each post. So please, bear with us as we try to find the best pix for each one, and please do list any that you’d like to see a comparison of…we will do our best to make it happen!

Battle of the 2-piece yellow fringe dress: Anna’s pro dance during the Beach Boys’ week 2 results show performance vs. Lil Kim’s samba with Derek in season 8
Courtney: I think the color really pops on both ladies’ skin – I especially love the way it looks paired with red hair (which is why I have so much of it in my closet ). However, I think it makes Kim look a little wide on the bottom, while it looks more balanced on Anna. I’m going with my fellow redhead on this one
Heidi: Can I pick neither? I don’t like yellow. I guess if I have to pick I’ll go with Kim since she seems to work everything to the fullest. I also don’t think that teeny always equals the best look. See below.
Winner: Anna, due to Heidi’s apathy.

Battle of the pale pink flutter-sleeve ballroom gown: Vienna’s waltz with Jake during the finale vs. Cheryl’s Viennese waltz with Maurice in season 7
Heidi: We’re batting zero on our ditto selections thus far. Just…ick. Gawdawful. I’ll go with Cheryl simply because she wasn’t on the Bachelor.
Courtney: I’m sorry, but I think this dress is hideous – at least the cut of it is. I feel like it adds the illusion of extra weight to both ladies, and I have a feeling it would do the same thing to any gal that was unfortunate enough to get stuck wearing it. I think the silhouette is slightly more pleasing on Vienna, but the color washes out her skin and doesn’t seem to support her, ahem, “assets” well. As for Cheryl, I think the color is great on her, but the cut does nothing for her figure. However, the overall look seems more “finished” on her, with the well-styled hair and jewelry. So I’m giving this one to Cheryl – barely…
Winner: Cheryl, by virtue of a few pieces of jewelry, some hairspray, and a lack of a history on a certain reality dating show.

Battle of the red lace & ruffles Latin dress: One of the dancers in the Haiti benefit “Stars of Dance” performance in week 2 vs. Chelsie’s salsa relay with Louis in season 9
Courtney: As a preface, almost all the costumes used in this particular “Stars of Dance” performance were reused from previous seasons. Unfortunately, I think they also copped out a bit in the hair & makeup department on the performance – seems like all the ladies in it got stuck with the standard-issue pulled-back, flower-in-the-hair and red lipstick, rather than a more customized look to complement their dresses. For that reason, I’m going to go with Chelsie on this one – her look seems a bit more tailored to fit the dress, and I think it doesn’t overwhelm her frame as much as it does the woman in the Haiti performance.
Heidi:I think the dress itself is more finished looking on Chelsie. Her look is also not as severe as the brunette wearing it and that works. It also doesn’t hurt that Chelsie just has a gorgeous smile in the picture we used.
The winner: Chelsie, by a megawatt smile

Battle of the silver-stoned, drapey Latin dress: Tyne Stecklein’s lyrical dance during Maxwell’s results show performance in week 4 vs. Kym’s rumba with Warren in season 7
Courtney: While I like the dress on both ladies, I’m kinda glad they got rid of the weird purple dangling fabric pieces in the front when they tweaked the dress for Tyne (who, by the way, I think is absolutely gorgeous and was stunning in this performance!) and replaced them with less distracting drapes. Love you Kym, but I’m going with Tyne on this one.
Heidi: Hey now, drapey is a requirement for the rumba, as is made glaringly apparent every season on DWTS. As for who I like better, well, I’m not a fan of the emaciated, anorexic, count every rib look, so I have to go with Kym. Although Tyne does bear a striking resemblance to a young Tea Leoni! Very beautiful face.
The winner: Due to Court’s disdain for weird dangly fabric, and Heidi’s disdain for visible ribcages…it’s a tie.

Battle of the red-stoned, cut-out ballroom gown: Chelsie’s pre-season photo shoot with Jake vs. Brooke’s tango with Derek in season 7
Courtney: Another dress where some subtle tweakage does a world of good – I’m glad they got rid of that weird black waist strap from when Brooke wore it. But again, looks like hair & makeup may have gotten a little lazy with Chelsie’s shoot – it just looks like her everyday look, with some bracelets thrown on in a feeble attempt to complete the ensemble. So overall, the look on Chelsie is just kinda plain – while Brooke’s look is more polished & tied-together. Awkward crotch-shot aside, Brooke rocked this one better.
Heidi: I have to go with Brooke. I love the belt thing, but the long black gloves in combination with that belt really make it a much more interesting dress on Brooke. It’s so plain on Chelsie. Not to mention that it would be difficult for any woman to stack up to Brooke in the body department, even one 15 years her junior.
The winner: Brooke. ‘Nuff said.

Battle of the red-stoned & feathered Latin dress: One of the dancers in the Haiti “Stars of Dance” performance vs. Debi’s salsa with Maks in season 9
Heidi: Do I have to choose? Really, I’m sure this dress looks good on someone, but neither of these two ladies. And I don’t think it’s their bodies, I think it’s the hair. Like I’ve said before, your hair can destroy an otherwise good ensemble.
Courtney: I hate this dress, too – probably because, as I mentioned earlier this year, I am ridiculously allergic to real feathers, particularly ostrich ones (which is why I had such disdain for Erin’s first samba dress…then again, that dress was just kinda tacky any way you looked at it). The skirt on this one looks like a dead muppet, and both ladies seemed to get stuck with the same weird, side-parted-but-too-high-up-on-the-crown-and-possibly-guilty-of-bump-it-use updos (and WTF is in Debbie’s hair? Shoelaces???). Neither one wore it better. BURN IT.
The winner: Everyone stuck in this dress loses thus far…except maybe Elmo.

Battle of the red-spangly, stoned-bodice Latin dress: Liana Churilova (Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine’s partner) in the Haiti performance vs. Susan’s cha-cha with Tony in season 7
Courtney: Ok, if anyone has ever been fortunate enough to catch one of Emmanuel & Liana’s performances in person, I think you can agree with me – they’re awesome. She was really the only standout female for me in this performance (except maybe Alexandra Gregoire-Prophete, the sole Haitian lady in the dance who is actually one of Emmanuel’s former partners – also pretty awesome) and definitely rocked this dress better than Susan, who seemed a little overwhelmed by it. I also thought the color popped better on Liana’s skin, and seemed to move better on her.
Heidi: Have you noticed that we have an obscene amount of red in this particular post? Good lord. Anyway, I really like this little dress, but I think Susan may be too scrawny for it and possibly not confident enough for it. She doesn’t look horrible in it by any stretch, but Susan just looks uncomfortable to me.
The winner: Liana, for being comfortable rocking yet another red dress.

Stay tuned next week for another costume showdown. We’re going to try to do a male one too.

DWTS10 Finale – The Cheesecake Awards!!!

*sniff* Sorry for the delay, kids – this week’s awards were a little bittersweet for Heidi & I, since they’re the last chance we’re going to be able to nitpick & snark until September But better late than never, eh? With 3 hours of nonstop ridiculousness to pull from this week, we definitely had a lot of material to work with – and I like to think we’ve really outdone ourselves this time So please – sit back, relax, and savor your last piece of cheesecake from season 10!

Best Impersonation of a Jersey Shore cast member: Brooke’s Snooki-inspired pouffy hair
Courtney: I can’t recall a hairstyle in the show’s history that was more talked-about than this one (not even Karina’s mullet!). Thank goodness Heidi & I weren’t the only ones that were totally distracted by Brooke’s sky-high Bump-It pouff on Monday night. And with a headband? Totally ridiculous…send her hairstylist back to Jersey, PLEASE! In fact, this pouff could have actually rivaled Snooki’s in its size…looks like J-Woww, Pauly D, and the Situation are all fist pumping under there.

Heidi: I think Voldemort was under there. Maybe that’s why she’s improved so much – he’s controlling her.

Biggest Exercise in Futility: Kate’s encore performance of her paso doble, and subsequent hustle to “I Will Survive”; (dis)honorable mention for Evan & Anna and Erin & Maks unsuccessful use of outside choreography for their freestyles
Courtney: A question for whoever had the bright idea to put Kate front & center in the opening number: did you really think she was gonna pull off the simple act of walking with a feather thingie successfully? Because she managed to botch that completely. And the paso was terrible the first time around – did we really need to relive it, as if to confirm “Yep, Kate really is a bad dancer!” The feeble hustle that ended with her being lifted up in a cherry-picker at the end? I guess we should be thankful that it was less hustle and more just Kate being lifted. At least she seemed to be having fun. And after the two mediocre freestyles from the couples that used outside assistance, I reiterate: the further you go outside of your comfort zone and into something that you’re unfamiliar with, the more clueless & uncomfortable you look. Stick with what works.

Heidi: Dude, she was downright creepy, what with the way she was “flying” and the way she was lit. Eeep!! As for the outside choreography…well, I guess I kinda understand it *in theory*, but at that point in the season the dancers know each other (and their strengths and weaknesses) so well, that it seems to me that an outsider would mess with that.

Most Interesting Double Entendre: Maks’ excuse for the mess-ups on the bed – “That wasn’t the bed we rehearsed on!”
Courtney: I still can’t decide if he said this in earnest, or deliberately threw out something saucy like this. He only dug himself further into a hole with his follow-up comment on GMA yesterday morning: “The first time we did it on the bed, she went flying off!” Oh jeebus…

Heidi: I’m tempted to make a crack about you giving Maks too much credit for superb innuendo. But it beats me if he was earnest or not. Better was Tom’s reaction to it last night – making a big O with his arms and yelling “over sharing!!!”

Courtney: Eh, I’m leaning more towards the former – that he was just flustered and blurted it out without thinking – but Maks does have interesting ways of getting attention…maybe he actually thought of it beforehand and had it in his verbal arsenal just incase

The “Denial is not just a river in Egypt” award: Nicole & Derek’s vehement denial of there being anything going on between them romantically
Courtney: Ok, first there was the armpit sniffing and gum sharing. Then the strange neck caressing. And then, after an overtly sexual rumba, they pan to Nicole’s boyfriend in the audience – and he is NOT a happy camper. And after a juicy bit of insider info that I heard a few days ago, I am almost 100% certain that SOMETHING has gone on between these two.

Heidi: You forgot that she jumped on top of him in happiness – not only that, but she was running her hand over his hair and kissing on him. More than anything it’s the hands in the hair thing and the multiple times she wrapped her legs around him. And Derek keeps picking her up.

Biggest Accident Waiting to Happen: Erin nearly taking Maks out during the infamous jump off the stage in the their Argentine tango
Courtney: Maybe she overshot it a bit, maybe he wasn’t quite grounded enough – maybe a combination of both. But for a second, Maks wavered, and I was worried that they both were going to topple. Seriously – that is one dangerous lift! I don’t blame Erin for being apprehensive…

Heidi: I gasped – thought they were going all the way to the judges.

Best “Hairstyle on a Budget”: Nicole’s banana claw for the rumba
Courtney: Prior to their rumba, I was like “Really, hair people? First you Snookify Brooke, now you’re scrimping on Nicole and sticking her with a $2 Goody banana clip from the drugstore? You could at least bedazzle that thing, jeez!” Then I saw the rumba…and I was like “Ahhhh. I think I need to invest in some banana clips.”

Heidi: LOL – I was gonna say, nothing says “We’ve done it” more than a practiced hair loosening. Ya see, it’s the subtle little moves like that that make me go “Ahhh…I want some of that kind of action please.”

Best Intro for a Returning Celeb Dance: Tom’s description of Pam’s performance – “Pamela Anderson…and some guys.”
Courtney: Oh Pam – I knew you would make a triumphant return to the floor in your own steamy way! And she really did upstage all three of them, slinking around in that corset and fishnets. Leave it to Tom to summarize it best…I’m gonna miss you till September, Tom Bergeron

Heidi: Follow him on Twitter – hilarious. He and Melissa Rycroft have some weird relationship. He used her as a paparazzi shield monday night and then pseudo apologized on Twitter. Anyway, Pam didn’t just upstage them, she ROLLED across them. Wowza!!

The Candid Camera Award: Evan & Anna’s unhappy expressions in the dressing room; (dis)honorable mention for Anna clearly mouthing the f-word at the end of Monday night’s show
Courtney: Now we’ve all seen what kind of damage can be done when the couples know the camera is running during their practice sessions. But the real fun happens when they DON’T know the camera is on them – like finale night, when they showed Nicole & Derek backstage energetically practicing their jive, and then panned to the adjacent room where Evan & Anna were sitting – glumly, like someone had killed their dog – or they were about to kill each other. Now before anyone can say “But they felt defeated after Len told Nicole she should win!”, keep in mind this was BEFORE Len said that, as neither of them had performed their final dance yet. Not sure what they were so upset about, but someone must have told them to perk up, because they next time they showed them backstage, they were all smiles. As for Anna’s pottymouth moment, it’s at the very end of Monday night’s show, when they’re going through the scoreboard – they pan to Evan & Anna as they’re saying “And at the bottom of the leaderboard…” and Anna looks over her right shoulder and says “F&%!” It actually made me laugh – if I were on the show, I would probably have the censors taking beta blockers, they’d be bleeping me so much…nice to know the pros slip up from time to time, too;-)

Heidi: That was striking, them sitting there. I was like, what the hell?? But at the end of the results show, when Mark picks Derek up, I’m pretty sure he lets out an involuntary “shit” of surprise – or it was my high def making the audio cut out. Buncha potty mouths.

Best Wardrobe Malfunction Waiting to Happen – Brooke Burke and her gold Mummy dress
Heidi: When she went to talk to the final two and she actually SAT DOWN – I actually held my breath to see if the dress would bust in a strategic spot. I was oddly disappointed when it held together. Seriously, they work so hard to keep the dancers in their dresses wouldn’t it be freakin’ hilarious if Brooke busted (heh) out of hers?? Anyway, she gave a whole new meaning to the words Golden Globes.

Courtney: That dress just confused me. It was some crazy patchwork concoction – like someone didn’t have enough of any one type of fabric to make a dress, so they just combined scraps they had laying around. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think I liked Samantha’s dresses better than some of the ones Brooke has worn.

Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night: “Hey Kate, while you’re up there, sing ‘Don’t Cry for me Argentina’”
Heidi: I think I actually guffawed. I don’t even know what that actually sounds like, but I’m pretty sure I did it.

Courtney: Eva Peron > Kate Gosselin. *shudder* Somehow I think that Kate would actually be a worse singer than she is a dancer (and I think we’ve already established that she is a TERRIBLE dancer!) Tom, don’t give Kate any ideas – next thing you know, the tabloids will have her auditioning for Broadway!

Hugest Disservice to an American Hero – Buzz and his strange space suit, complete with Green Lasers
Heidi: Really DWTS Wardrobe?? Really? Talk about cheesy!! Holy hell. And Star Wars? It also lasted about ten minutes too long.

Courtney: Ugh. Enough with the space suits and references to his astronaut background. Although I have to wonder if Buzz had some say in what he wanted to do – the man does wear a lot of NASA shirts…

Biggest Piece of Cheese I’m Most Ashamed to Admit that I Thought was Kinda Cool – The “Mirrorball Cage In Which Nicole and Evan Descended from the Ceiling.
Heidi:: I’m so ashamed. Between that and the fog, I was like “Coooool”. :::sigh:::

Courtney: My DVR cut that part out. Thank goodness!

Best Self Impersonation – Derek Hough, Describing his Reaction to Almost Dropping Nicole
Heidi: So nice to see these two so relaxed. Ahem. Relaxed.

Courtney: DVR cut out on this one too…so I’ll just take your word for it

Heidi: I’ll post it. It’s actually pretty funny. Apparently there was a lot of dialog during that dance and it was Derek who screwed it up. The dance, not the dialog.

Worst Opening Sequence in the History of the Show: Tuesday Night
Heidi: Is it just me or was that a craptastic opening dance? Did you see Kate walking along the edge of the dance floor trying to find her spot?? Did you notice Derek’s “I’m so going to puke” face?? LOL

Courtney: Another group number that looked like it was thrown together at the last possible moment. Lots of confused choreography, dittoed costumes, and pained expressions. I think the feather thingies were meant to distract us from a clearly terrible performance – some very wise production assistant must have plucked them from the prop closet & suggested they reuse them from the female pros’ opening dancing last season. If I were one of the producers, that production assistant would be promoted to creative director! Haha.

The “I’m So Uncomfortable Watching This” Award: Kate Gosselin informing Tony That She’s Controversial “You know”
Heidi: Um, ick? I can’t decide if it was mean of the producers to show that, or stupid of Kate to seem oddly proud of it.

Courtney: I think what bothered me most was the way she said the word “controversial”. She put too much emphasis on the “i” – “controverSEE-al”. Like she wanted to make it sound more high-class or something. Honey, if you have to tell us that you’re controverSEE-al – then you’re just fishing.
Moment I Expected To Be Supremely Craptastic: Vienna Dancing
Heidi: Why wasn’t she on the show?? She’s way better than Jake. I was surprised how well she did with Dmitry, then not surprised when with Jake everything got…stiff. Pardon the expression. Jake turns everything Cheesy.

Courtney: Jake is a goober. And Vienna was alright – but she still looks like she has no clue what is going on around her. Totally blank expression. Dude, at least Tenley had more facial expressions than just “confused”.

Heidi: :::gasp::: Did YOU watch the Bachelor?!?! Come sit with me in the hall of shame, girly.

Courtney: Eh, I saw some of the finale…CSI must have been a rerun that night. It was like a train wreck in progress - terrible, but you just can’t seem to avert your eyes!

Surest Sign that Len’s Meds Need Adjusting: Telling Nicole She Should Win BEFORE Evan Even Danced
Heidi: I’m a Derek/Nicole fan and I have to say that was shitty. Super Shitty. I groaned out loud.

Courtney: Call me insensitive, but it actually didn’t bother me too badly – granted, I was really surprised Len actually said it, but at that point I think it was just getting too obvious that Nicole was miles ahead of Evan. And I think you mentioned it earlier, but Len may have thought that Nicole wasn’t going to win – and hence was trying to soften the blow a bit…even if he went about it in a rather uncouth way. Or maybe he just got sick of all of the storyboarding, and the fakey “OMG! It’s anyone’s game!” schtick, and this was his geriatric way of rebelling. It seemed to bother Anna more than it bothered Evan – that boy is sweet as pie and totally laid back, so he probably didn’t give it much of a second thought. Good for him

Biggest “Oh no you didn’t!” Moment: Kelly Monaco calling Alec the Iceman
Heidi: Geez, maybe it’s true but can you be ANY more unprofessional, bitch?

Courtney: My guess is that ABC cited some obscure line in her contract from the original season that forced her to attend – because she made it abundantly clear that she really didn’t have any desire to be there. Maybe she was cranky cause her character’s boytoy on General Hospital just got sent to prison. No sex scenes for Sam McCall for awhile…I’d be cranky too! But I gotta give her props for saying out loud (on national television) what we’ve been saying all along – Alec is totally blah.

Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night, Take Two: “I’ll Never Get Tired of Seeing You Do That”, when imitating Maks jumping tantrum
Heidi: If anyone can bring Maks down to size, it’s Tom Bergeron. LOL

Courtney: Somehow, I don’t think that’s the last we’ll see of the clip of Maks jumping up and down like a toddler who wants candy at the grocery store. I have a feeling it will resurface in subsequent seasons when they’re doing background videos of the pros. Congrats, Maks – your tantrum is now cemented in the annals of DWTS history.

*sigh* Well, we hope you guys have enjoyed your weekly helpings of cheesecake this season as much as we’ve enjoyed dishing them out. The Heidi & Courtney Bitchin’ Kitchen may be closed for the season, but will reopen for business again in September for another fun-filled season of snark Until then, please do continue to lurk! Pure DWTS doesn’t go on summer vacay – we’ll still be keeping up with the latest casting rumors, post-season media appearances, pro gossip, and who knows what else! It promises to be a good time…so stay tuned!