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DWTS10 Finale – The Cheesecake Awards!!!

*sniff* Sorry for the delay, kids – this week’s awards were a little bittersweet for Heidi & I, since they’re the last chance we’re going to be able to nitpick & snark until September :-( But better late than never, eh? With 3 hours of nonstop ridiculousness to pull from this week, we definitely had a lot of material to work with – and I like to think we’ve really outdone ourselves this time :-D So please – sit back, relax, and savor your last piece of cheesecake from season 10!

Best Impersonation of a Jersey Shore cast member: Brooke’s Snooki-inspired pouffy hair
Courtney: I can’t recall a hairstyle in the show’s history that was more talked-about than this one (not even Karina’s mullet!).  Thank goodness Heidi & I weren’t the only ones that were totally distracted by Brooke’s sky-high Bump-It pouff on Monday night.  And with a headband? Totally ridiculous…send her hairstylist back to Jersey, PLEASE! In fact, this pouff could have actually rivaled Snooki’s in its size…looks like J-Woww, Pauly D, and the Situation are all fist pumping under there. 

Heidi: I think Voldemort was under there. Maybe that’s why she’s improved so much – he’s controlling her. :-)

Biggest Exercise in Futility: Kate’s encore performance of her paso doble, and subsequent hustle to “I Will Survive”; (dis)honorable mention for Evan & Anna and Erin & Maks unsuccessful use of outside choreography for their freestyles
Courtney: A question for whoever had the bright idea to put Kate front & center in the opening number: did you really think she was gonna pull off the simple act of walking with a feather thingie successfully? Because she managed to botch that completely.  And the paso was terrible the first time around – did we really need to relive it, as if to confirm “Yep, Kate really is a bad dancer!” The feeble hustle that ended with her being lifted up in a cherry-picker at the end? I guess we should be thankful that it was less hustle and more just Kate being lifted.  At least she seemed to be having fun.  And after the two mediocre freestyles from the couples that used outside assistance, I reiterate: the further you go outside of your comfort zone and into something that you’re unfamiliar with, the more clueless & uncomfortable you look.  Stick with what works.

Heidi: Dude, she was downright creepy, what with the way she was “flying” and the way she was lit.  Eeep!! As for the outside choreography…well, I guess I kinda understand it *in theory*, but at that point in the season the dancers know each other (and their strengths and weaknesses) so well, that it seems to me that an outsider would mess with that.
  
Most Interesting Double Entendre: Maks’ excuse for the mess-ups on the bed – “That wasn’t the bed we rehearsed on!”
Courtney: I still can’t decide if he said this in earnest, or deliberately threw out something saucy like this.  He only dug himself further into a hole with his follow-up comment on GMA yesterday morning: “The first time we did it on the bed, she went flying off!” Oh jeebus…

Heidi: I’m tempted to make a crack about you giving Maks too much credit for superb innuendo. :-)  But it beats me if he was earnest or not.  Better was Tom’s reaction to it last night – making a big O with his arms and yelling “over sharing!!!”

Courtney: Eh, I’m leaning more towards the former – that he was just flustered and blurted it out without thinking – but Maks does have interesting ways of getting attention…maybe he actually thought of it beforehand and had it in his verbal arsenal just incase ;-)
  
The “Denial is not just a river in Egypt” award: Nicole & Derek’s vehement denial of there being anything going on between them romantically
Courtney: Ok, first there was the armpit sniffing and gum sharing.  Then the strange neck caressing.  And then, after an overtly sexual rumba, they pan to Nicole’s boyfriend in the audience – and he is NOT a happy camper.  And after a juicy bit of insider info that I heard a few days ago, I am almost 100% certain that SOMETHING has gone on between these two. 

Heidi: You forgot that she jumped on top of him in happiness – not only that, but she was running her hand over his hair and kissing on him.  More than anything it’s the hands in the hair thing and the multiple times she wrapped her legs around him. :-) And Derek keeps picking her up.
  
Biggest Accident Waiting to Happen: Erin nearly taking Maks out during the infamous jump off the stage in the their Argentine tango
Courtney: Maybe she overshot it a bit, maybe he wasn’t quite grounded enough – maybe a combination of both.  But for a second, Maks wavered, and I was worried that they both were going to topple.  Seriously – that is one dangerous lift! I don’t blame Erin for being apprehensive…

Heidi: I gasped – thought they were going all the way to the judges.
 
Best “Hairstyle on a Budget”: Nicole’s banana claw for the rumba
Courtney: Prior to their rumba, I was like “Really, hair people? First you Snookify Brooke, now you’re scrimping on Nicole and sticking her with a $2 Goody banana clip from the drugstore? You could at least bedazzle that thing, jeez!” Then I saw the rumba…and I was like “Ahhhh. I think I need to invest in some banana clips.”

Heidi: LOL – I was gonna say, nothing says “We’ve done it” more than a practiced hair loosening. Ya see, it’s the subtle little moves like that that make me go “Ahhh…I want some of that kind of action please.”
  
Best Intro for a Returning Celeb Dance: Tom’s description of Pam’s performance – “Pamela Anderson…and some guys.”
Courtney: Oh Pam – I knew you would make a triumphant return to the floor in your own steamy way! And she really did upstage all three of them, slinking around in that corset and fishnets.  Leave it to Tom to summarize it best…I’m gonna miss you till September, Tom Bergeron :-(

Heidi: Follow him on Twitter – hilarious. He and Melissa Rycroft have some weird relationship. He used her as a paparazzi shield monday night and then pseudo apologized on Twitter.  Anyway, Pam didn’t just upstage them, she ROLLED across them.  Wowza!!
 
The Candid Camera Award: Evan & Anna’s unhappy expressions in the dressing room; (dis)honorable mention for Anna clearly mouthing the f-word at the end of Monday night’s show
Courtney: Now we’ve all seen what kind of damage can be done when the couples know the camera is running during their practice sessions.  But the real fun happens when they DON’T know the camera is on them – like finale night, when they showed Nicole & Derek backstage energetically practicing their jive, and then panned to the adjacent room where Evan & Anna were sitting – glumly, like someone had killed their dog – or they were about to kill each other. Now before anyone can say “But they felt defeated after Len told Nicole she should win!”, keep in mind this was BEFORE Len said that, as neither of them had performed their final dance yet.  Not sure what they were so upset about, but someone must have told them to perk up, because they next time they showed them backstage, they were all smiles.  As for Anna’s pottymouth moment, it’s at the very end of Monday night’s show, when they’re going through the scoreboard – they pan to Evan & Anna as they’re saying “And at the bottom of the leaderboard…” and Anna looks over her right shoulder and says “F&%!” It actually made me laugh – if I were on the show, I would probably have the censors taking beta blockers, they’d be bleeping me so much…nice to know the pros slip up from time to time, too;-)

Heidi: That was striking, them sitting there. I was like, what the hell??  But at the end of the results show, when Mark picks Derek up, I’m pretty sure he lets out an involuntary “shit” of surprise – or it was my high def making the audio cut out. Buncha potty mouths. :-)
 

Best Wardrobe Malfunction Waiting to Happen – Brooke Burke and her gold Mummy dress
Heidi: When she went to talk to the final two and she actually SAT DOWN – I actually held my breath to see if the dress would bust in a strategic spot. :-) I was oddly disappointed when it held together. Seriously, they work so hard to keep the dancers in their dresses wouldn’t it be freakin’ hilarious if Brooke busted (heh) out of hers?? Anyway, she gave a whole new meaning to the words Golden Globes.

Courtney: That dress just confused me.  It was some crazy patchwork concoction – like someone didn’t have enough of any one type of fabric to make a dress, so they just combined scraps they had laying around.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think I liked Samantha’s dresses better than some of the ones Brooke has worn. 
 
 
Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night: “Hey Kate, while you’re up there, sing ‘Don’t Cry for me Argentina’”
Heidi: I think I actually guffawed. I don’t even know what that actually sounds like, but I’m pretty sure I did it. :-)

Courtney: Eva Peron > Kate Gosselin.  *shudder* Somehow I think that Kate would actually be a worse singer than she is a dancer (and I think we’ve already established that she is a TERRIBLE dancer!) Tom, don’t give Kate any ideas – next thing you know, the tabloids will have her auditioning for Broadway!

Hugest Disservice to an American Hero – Buzz and his strange space suit, complete with Green Lasers
Heidi: Really DWTS Wardrobe??  Really? Talk about cheesy!! Holy hell.  And Star Wars? It also lasted about ten minutes too long. :-)

Courtney: Ugh.  Enough with the space suits and references to his astronaut background.  Although I have to wonder if Buzz had some say in what he wanted to do – the man does wear a lot of NASA shirts…

Biggest Piece of Cheese I’m Most Ashamed to Admit that I Thought was Kinda Cool – The “Mirrorball Cage In Which Nicole and Evan Descended from the Ceiling.
Heidi:: I’m so ashamed. Between that and the fog, I was like “Coooool”.  :::sigh:::

Courtney: My DVR cut that part out. Thank goodness!
  
Best Self Impersonation – Derek Hough, Describing his Reaction to Almost Dropping Nicole
Heidi: So nice to see these two so relaxed. Ahem. :-) Relaxed. 

Courtney: DVR cut out on this one too…so I’ll just take your word for it ;-)

Heidi: I’ll post it. It’s actually pretty funny. Apparently there was a lot of dialog during that dance and it was Derek who screwed it up. The dance, not the dialog.

Worst Opening Sequence in the History of the Show: Tuesday Night
Heidi: Is it just me or was that a craptastic opening dance?  Did you see Kate walking along the edge of the dance floor trying to find her spot?? Did you notice Derek’s “I’m so going to puke” face?? LOL

Courtney: Another group number that looked like it was thrown together at the last possible moment.  Lots of confused choreography, dittoed costumes, and pained expressions. I think the feather thingies were meant to distract us from a clearly terrible performance – some very wise production assistant must have plucked them from the prop closet & suggested they reuse them from the female pros’ opening dancing last season.  If I were one of the producers, that production assistant would be promoted to creative director! Haha.

The “I’m So Uncomfortable Watching This” Award: Kate Gosselin informing Tony That She’s Controversial “You know”
Heidi: Um, ick? I can’t decide if it was mean of the producers to show that, or stupid of Kate to seem oddly proud of it.

Courtney: I think what bothered me most was the way she said the word “controversial”.  She put too much emphasis on the “i” – “controverSEE-al”. Like she wanted to make it sound more high-class or something.  Honey, if you have to tell us that you’re controverSEE-al – then you’re just fishing.
Moment I Expected To Be Supremely Craptastic: Vienna Dancing
Heidi: Why wasn’t she on the show?? She’s way better than Jake. I was surprised how well she did with Dmitry, then not surprised when with Jake everything got…stiff. Pardon the expression. :-) Jake turns everything Cheesy.

Courtney: Jake is a goober.  And Vienna was alright – but she still looks like she has no clue what is going on around her.  Totally blank expression.  Dude, at least Tenley had more facial expressions than just “confused”.

Heidi: :::gasp:::  Did YOU watch the Bachelor?!?!  Come sit with me in the hall of shame, girly. :-)

Courtney: Eh, I saw some of the finale…CSI must have been a rerun that night.  It was like a train wreck in progress -  terrible, but you just can’t seem to avert your eyes!
  
Surest Sign that Len’s Meds Need Adjusting: Telling Nicole She Should Win BEFORE Evan Even Danced
Heidi: I’m a Derek/Nicole fan and I have to say that was shitty. Super Shitty. I groaned out loud.  

Courtney: Call me insensitive, but it actually didn’t bother me too badly – granted, I was really surprised Len actually said it, but at that point I think it was just getting too obvious that Nicole was miles ahead of Evan. And I think you mentioned it earlier, but Len may have thought that Nicole wasn’t going to win – and hence was trying to soften the blow a bit…even if he went about it in a rather uncouth way.  Or maybe he just got sick of all of the storyboarding, and the fakey “OMG! It’s anyone’s game!” schtick, and this was his geriatric way of rebelling.  It seemed to bother Anna more than it bothered Evan – that boy is sweet as pie and totally laid back, so he probably didn’t give it much of a second thought. Good for him :-)

Biggest “Oh no you didn’t!” Moment: Kelly Monaco calling Alec the Iceman
Heidi: Geez, maybe it’s true but can you be ANY more unprofessional, bitch?

Courtney: My guess is that ABC cited some obscure line in her contract from the original season that forced her to attend – because she made it abundantly clear that she really didn’t have any desire to be there.  Maybe she was cranky cause her character’s boytoy on General Hospital just got sent to prison. No sex scenes for Sam McCall for awhile…I’d be cranky too!  But I gotta give her props for saying out loud (on national television) what we’ve been saying all along – Alec is totally blah.

Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night, Take Two: “I’ll Never Get Tired of Seeing You Do That”, when imitating Maks jumping tantrum
Heidi: If anyone can bring Maks down to size, it’s Tom Bergeron. LOL

Courtney: Somehow, I don’t think that’s the last we’ll see of the clip of Maks jumping up and down like a toddler who wants candy at the grocery store.  I have a feeling it will resurface in subsequent seasons when they’re doing background videos of the pros.  Congrats, Maks – your tantrum is now cemented in the annals of DWTS history. :-)

*sigh* Well, we hope you guys have enjoyed your weekly helpings of cheesecake this season as much as we’ve enjoyed dishing them out. The Heidi & Courtney Bitchin’ Kitchen may be closed for the season, but will reopen for business again in September for another fun-filled season of snark ;-)  Until then, please  do continue to lurk! Pure DWTS doesn’t go on summer vacay – we’ll still be keeping up with the latest casting rumors, post-season media appearances, pro gossip, and who knows what else! It promises to be a good time…so stay tuned!

May 27, 2010 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

Part II of Week 6 Miscellaneous Media – DWTS Season 10

I see lots and lots of entertainment news media, but I’m trying to limit it to that which I find amusing or interesting. :-)

And that leads us to Bruno, the always amusing, who was on ET. Are Erin/Maks and Chad/Cheryl playing up the romance for votes??

Niecy and Louis on ET – you see a bit of their quickstep rehearsal

The whole cast on The Insider. Maks is still ranting. :-)

The whole cast on ET – Erin Andrews seems to be missing from post show media – anyone know why?

May 1, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Dancing with the Stars Season 10, Week 7 – Who’s Dancing What?

Well, it’s seems to be another cleanup week, with a mixture of dances that the couples haven’t done yet. And once again, it seems that they are perhaps giving the weaker dancers dances that won’t necessarily suit them.

Additionally, we have the Team dances and FINALLY it has occurred to the producers that if you give both teams the same dance, you can compare them better. I believe it was Niecy who explained how it went this season (and I’m looking for the source of this – I know I read it somewhere) (I was wrong, it was Maks’ blog – thanks to mousebumples): Evan and Nicole, as the front runners, were named team captains. They had the choice of picking the song or picking first for the team. They flipped a coin and Nicole won. She chose to pick their song, giving Evan first shot at picking a team member. Personally, I think she did the right thing, because she and Derek both are very musical and the music is critical to Derek’s choreography. In any case, they picked Lady Gaga’s Telephone, leaving Evan’s team with Madonna’s Holiday. Evan picked first and picked, to no one’s surprise, Erin. Nicole picked Pam, Evan picked Niecy and Nicole picked Chad.

Team Madonna
Evan/Anna
Erin/Maks
Nicey/Louis

Team Gaga
Nicole/Derek
Pam/Damian
Chad/Cheryl

It will be very interesting because in terms of choreography we have Cheryl, Derek and Damian on one team – Cheryl and Derek are probably the two best choreographers on the show, and Damian will likely work well with them considering their history. Also, Derek has competed in both previous team dances and won both times. Cheryl has competed once, and Damian is new. But on the other team we have Anna, Maks and Louis – I think that Maks and Louis are also very strong choreographers, although Louis hasn’t been that great this season thus far, IMO. Louis has been in this competition once, the other two have not made it to the team dance. So, in terms of choreography, I think Team Gaga has the edge.

Now, based on the actual celebs in each group, I have to give the edge to Evan/Erin/Niecy (aka Team Madonna). That group has, essentially, one ringer and a mini-ringer to the one ringer in Team Gaga. But it’s going to be close, because Derek and Cheryl have experience in team dances. At the end of the day, I’m going to give the win to Team Madonna, not because of skill level but due to the fact that Evan got hosed last week (and the judges were up to something there), and Derek has already won this twice. But I don’t think it’s going to be a blow out by any stretch, it’s going to be very close (one or two points) unless the judges play games (again).

Now, the individual dances. I don’t know how I feel about them cleaning up and having everyone dance dances that have been done this season but that they themselves have not been done. Can’t they bust out the Paso and something else? Anyway, here is how it stacks up:

Nicole/Derek: Slow Waltz – should be lovely. Nicole should be in an up week, provided that her neck issue has healed. They have been getting a bad edit, similar to Maks/Erin, plus a slower dance – well, this dance needs to be beautiful because we are now at the stage where a “shocking elimination” could happen. They have to bring it.

Evan/Anna: Argentine Tango - perfect dance to shoot Evan back to the top of the leader board. Much spicier than the waltz that Nicole and Derek are tasked with and seems ripe for story boarding. “Evan Lysacek bounces back from a disastrous week!!!!” Perfect for the post-Kate era ratings. Yes, I am cynical.

Chad/Cheryl: Viennese Waltz - has disaster written all over it. Chad himself said he prefers the latin dances. I don’t see Chad pulling this one off in a significant way. I could be wrong, but this guy has disappointed me many times and I don’t think this week will be any different.

Pam/Damien: Slow Waltz – Pamela is amazing but she needs to step it up. Will she? I certainly think she is capable. After all the drama surrounding Erin and Maks, this is the pair I would like to see in the final three with Evan and Nicole. But I don’t think it will happen, unfortunately. I really don’t have the ability to predict how Pam will do. Damian is brand new and untested with celebs, and Pam is often incredible in creating a character, but not always spot on with getting the steps. I think the steps will be more important with the Waltz, so this could be a difficult dance – at a time when she least needs challenging. The bottom three should be between her, Chad and Niecy with Niecy going home – but you just never know.

Erin/Maks: Quickstep – this will be the interesting dance of the night. I’m quite sure that Erin is more than capable of delivering a great quickstep. The question is: will Maks choreograph in response to his pissiness with Len, or will he choreograph what he really feels? Anyone who has watched the media knows that Maks was PISSED OFF and unrepentant. So, will he choreograph a dance sans gimmicks and strip teases, or will he try to further piss Len off? If he plays it straight, Erin should have a great dance. In fact, I would not be at all surprised to see Erin lead the pack after all the crap of last week – remember, this show loves a great story. :-) She might end up in first place whether she deserves it or not.

Niecy and Louis: Quickstep – yeah, I don’t see this happening. It’s fast and in hold so Niecy can’t use any of her assets. Barring a great dance by Niecy or a disaster by someone else (Chad), I see this as Niecy’s final dance. I would not mind at all if Chad were to go in her place, but I doubt it.

So, anyone think I’m wrong? Think Evan won’t get an “amazing surge back to Number 1″? That Erin won’t be given an amazing growth arch? Anyone think that Niecy will kill the Quickstep?? Lay it on me. :-)

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Week 6 Miscellaneous Media – DWTS Season 10

Chad and Cheryl talk about how Chad prefers Latin dances. And how they’re doing Viennese Waltz this week. :-)

Evan is a cutie, for sure, but I got distracted halfway through this interview by Derek talking to Donny in the background. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but it looks funny. :-)

Derek and Nicole – Derek has Nicole’s spray tan all over his shirt. See Courtney, they were doing lifts. :-)

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Ratings Race of Season 10 – Week 6

DWTS is still beating American Idol in overall ratings, if I am reading Variety correctly. However, AI wins again in that key 18 – 49 demographic.

Overall, according to Nielsen estimates for the April 19-25 frame that include same-night DVR playback, Fox cruised to victory in 18-49 with a 3.2 rating/10 share, well ahead of its closely bunched rivals: ABC (2.0/6) and CBS and NBC (both 1.9/6). Univision ran fifth as usual (1.3/4), followed by TNT (1.1/3), ESPN (1.0/3) and USA (0.9/2).

ABC was paced by “Dancing With the Stars” (4.8/13, 21.07m), No. 6 for the week in 18-49 and No. 1 in total viewers. Comedy “Romantically Challenged” (2.9/8 in 18-49, 10.67m) had an OK bow following “Dancing” on Monday, and then dropped off a bit in its second try kicking off the current week.

DWTS easily wins Monday night in total viewers and also does well in the key demo, also per Variety:

Dancing With the Stars” (4.3 rating/12 share in 18-49, 20.2 million viewers overall) had nearly twice as many viewers than any other broadcast primetime program Monday, but “House” (4.1/12, 10.6 million) still nipped it in the demo during the first hour. In its final 30 minutes, “Stars” powered ahead with a 5.0/13, a mark unchallenged by CBS’ rerun of “Two and a Half Men” (3.0/8, 9.7 million) and the first halfhour of Fox’s “24″ (2.9/8, 9.2 million from 9-9:30 p.m.).

April 30, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – The Score Card

Better late than never, as they say. :-) I was out of town this week so everything is out of sorts. And I didn’t get to see the results show in a timely manner, but I will say that I can’t believe that Courtney didn’t mention the flames coming out of either Erin or Nicole’s hips during one of the recaps. I had to be surprised by that. :-)

The Score Card:

Heidi: Called Jake pretty solidly, with Niecy as a back up.

Courtney: Called Jake solid, with Niecy as next in line.

This week I’m adding in Marianya’s predictions, keeping in mind that her predictions were made PRE-DANCE, and her predictions were for what scores the couples would get.

Marianya’s Predictions:
Pam/Damian: M’s prediction was 23, the actual score was 22
Chad/Cheryl: M said 21, actual score was 24
Erin/Maks: M said 22, the actual score was 25
Evan/Anna: M said 26, the actual score was a shocking 21
Jake/Chelsie: M said 23, the actual score was 21
Nicole/Derek: M said 27, the actual score was 26

Not too bad! She got two scores out of six within one point and one more within two points. Considering that Evan’s score was a joke, I think that’s a pretty good record. Unfortunately, she said Niecy was going home, with Pam in the bottom two with her. We don’t know the actual bottom two, but it was Jake that went home.

Summary

Heidi: Yay!! We were both completely right for a change!! I have to add that I think not many people are voting or, conversely, a lot of people are voting but not for Pam, Niecy or Jake, since the three of them were trading places in the red light of doom every week. I will also say – no WAY do I believe that Evan was anywhere close to a bottom 3. That said, I don’t know what their possible motivation could be for giving that impression OR for scoring him so poorly. As much as Maks annoys me with his bitching right now, he is absolutely right on a few points, one of them being: no way in hell did Evan dance less well than Chad, or as good as Niecy. No. Way. He was horribly underscored even though I did think his dance was missing something this week. I wonder if the judges and producers are actually trying to make it look like a horse race – and setting it up to look like a “surprise” win. Or for Nicole to be a “surprise” elimination within the next week or two.

Courtney: Not a whole lot to say this week, other than “Yay! Got it 100% right for the first time this season!” It really has been unpredictable this season, between Shannen’s early departure & Kate’s much-longer-than-it-should’ve-been presence – kinda threw things into disarray. But Jake is gone (even though I think he did much better than Chad has so far this season), Niecy’s Insider support seems to be waning – and so far, Team Viva La Pam has snatched her from the jaws of death twice – can they do it again, if it comes down to her and someone else in the bottom 2? It’s making me nervous that, out of the blue, the judges seem to suddenly be in love with Chad (with no good reason), and ragging on Evan (still wondering WTF happened there). Nicole is still getting negative critiques, but high scores; Erin’s kind of a wild card, doing marginal one week and good the next. I’m thinking that the Evan love will return this week, and that Niecy & Chad could both be in trouble…but who knows. Obviously this season has shaken my faith in my powers of prediction :-/

Marianya?? Any comment?

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS 10 Jake & Chelsie Dance Comparison

Hello all! Since Jake is the latest celeb to leave the show… naturally this week’s Dance Comparison will involved Jake & Chelsie.

Surprisingly, their only recycled song is Walk Like an Egyption by the Bangles The Bangles - Bangles: Greatest Hits - Walk Like an Egyptian. Here they danced the Quickstep on Week 3:

Which was originally danced by Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Season 4 Week 9… also as a Quickstep.

Honestly, it isn’t a very fair comparison, since this was Laila’s 2nd Quickstep and done later in the season, while this was Jake’s first Quickstep and done earlier in the season. Regardless this is comparing choreography to recycled songs… :D So what do you think?

I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS10 Week 6 – The Cheesecake Awards!

Alas, I think Heidi & I’s mojo came back this week :-) Because we’ve got some fun ones! Now Miss Heidi is actually away on a business trip for a few days, and was unable to catch last night’s results show – so I basically had to fill her in as we went along.  Please forgive the wordiness – this is verbatim what was going on via email today between Heidi & I.  But I promise – it’s funny wordiness ;-) NOW LET THEM EAT (CHEESE)CAKE!

The “Wow…AWKWARD MOMENT!” Award: Jake’s tearful departure, (dis)honorable mention for Maks’ outburst against Len

Courtney: Now while I was sure it couldn’t get much more uncomfortable than witnessing the tense confrontation between Maks & Len, then Jake turned on the waterworks…

Heidi: Wait, WHAT?! Jake CRIED?! There’s no crying in Ballroom!

Courtney: Yep, like a baby.  And it wasn’t just like his eyes welling up – it was full-on tears running down his face.  He told Chelsie he loved her. Vienna looked like she was about to pull a Lorena Bobbitt on him.

Heidi: Oh wow…that is cheesey.  There were many instances on the Bachelor where I thought he looked really teary-eyed. I thought it was his contacts. I guess not.

Courtney: But I will say that Erin looked terribly uncomfortable as Maks was cutting Len off and generally not taking his critique well.  Poor girl looked like she wanted to fade into the hardwood of the floor.

Heidi: Which would be quite impossible in her Muppet dress. All those purple feathers would suffocate her.

Best Argument for Chewing Your Food 22 Times Before Swallowing: Louis’ cookie consumption problem during Niecy’s Argentine Tango

Courtney: The good news – the cookie didn’t detract from the performance.  The bad news – Louis nearly choked on it getting his critique from the judges.  I wonder if the fabulous Tom Bergeron knows the Heimlich Maneuver. Who am I kidding? Tom Bergeron knows EVERYTHING :-)

Heidi: I’m sorry, I hated the cookie AND the rose and the whole concept of eating during an AT. I must be old fashioned – I like my ATs hot, sexy and passionate, not…crumby. :-)

Courtney: At least he ate the cookie at the end.  I’m thankful he didn’t pull a Cookie Monster & nom-nom-nom-nom throughout the entire performance!

Least Effective Excuse for Dancing Poorly: Jake “not having his dollar”

Courtney: Ugh.  Lesson to be learned: Bruno’s fauxmances with male contestants are often flings.  If he tucks a buck one week – don’t expect him to do it again the next.  He’s a fickle creature.

Heidi: Word to the wise, Jake – don’t try flirting with people of the same gender. Fail. Actually, you weren’t that good at flirting with women either.

Most Versatile Costume: Pam’s lingerie-inspired tango dress

Courtney: It was sexy. If I were her, I’d sure as hell dance the tango in it, and then wear it to bed…with a friend. ;-) Or to a photo shoot with Maxim (the mag, not the pro). Hell, I’d wear it to the grocery store! Warm up the frozen food aisle! Not quite sure how I feel about the brunette wig, though…

Heidi: That wig was too straggly, or haggy – is that a word? But yeah, the dress was awesome.

Courtney: Maybe haggard? I dunno…but I didn’t quite understand the necessity of it.  Just to mix things up? If so, I would have rather seen them paint her own hair dark like they did Anna D.’s last season, instead of that unflattering rug on her head.

Heidi: Or just a dark wig that was smooth and not so ratty looking.

Best Impersonation of a Mannequin: Chad during his tango

Courtney: He’s tall. He’s stiff. He’s got a blank expression. Are we sure Cheryl wasn’t dancing with one of the men’s costume dummies from the wardrobe department? One of the wheeled ones? Cause it certainly looked like that’s what Cheryl was pushing around the floor.

Heidi: You remember that cheesy movie Mannequin? How whenever other people were around, she would freeze in to a mannequin from being animate?  Yeeaaahhh, Chad.

Courtney: LOL the one with Kim Cattrall? Len must be a huge fan of it, which is why he enjoyed Chad’s tango so much…it’s the only rational explanation! :-P

Worst Choice for Overplayed Practice Session Footage: The ad infinitum replay of Evan hitting his head

Courtney: Not sure what they were trying to accomplish by playing it over and over – trying to create drama? Trying to drum up sympathy for Evan? Trying to educate the masses on the dangers of swing lifts? :-P The only thing it accomplished was giving me a headache.

Heidi: And then they trash his performance (irrationally)?  So between the multiple head crunches and the thrashing he got by the judges – well, maybe he’s not getting the votes they want him to get? I find that very hard to believe, actually. But why else would they do that?

Courtney: Maybe Evan ate all the cheesecake on the craft services table and this was their revenge. HA!

Most Allergy-Inducing Costume: Erin‘s lavender-feathered samba dress

Courtney: If watching Evan hit his head repeatedly gave me a headache, then seeing Erin’s dress made me sneeze – I’m terribly allergic to real feathers.  Especially ostrich ones, which is what the entire skirt of that dress was made out of. 

Heidi: I just didn’t like that dress at all – the color was good on her, but all that flesh toned fabric was just bad – super cheesy.  Maybe it’s not a good thing that I have HD? Because none of that was actually sheer so it just looked tacky. :-)

Courtney: Gah…I hate when they pull out the pantyhose fabric! Made the top of the dress look like a skating costume, and the bottom was wayyyy to full for a Latin dance.  Would have been better suited to a foxtrot.  Wait, I totally spaced the fact that the celebs got to design they & their partner’s costumes this week! So that means…Erin actually came up with that dress herself??! Eee gad.

Most Overrated Prop: The 7 paddle, (dis)honorable mention for lack of shirts on men

Courtney: What is with the judges and giving 7′s this season??? I wish one of the production staff members would steal it and watch them freak out.  And I’m just getting tired of shirts getting torn off or ripped open – it was cool once.  Now it’s just getting cliche. 

Heidi: I have nothing against half naked men. What bugs the shit out of me is half naked men who KNOW Len is a shit about that stuff and who gripe and complain about it anyway. Dude, you know Len hates that, don’t be dissing Len in the media (calling him too old to judge) because you did something you KNOW he hates. That’s just stupid. Man up and hide behind your partner awaiting punishment like Derek did last season. :-)

Courtney: You have a valid point there, m’dear.  Maybe that’s what’s bugging me more than the actual shirts coming off – hearing Len bitch & moan.  Ugh.

Most in Need of Psychiatric Evaluation: Len, (dis)honorable mention for crazy Bengals fan

Courtney: I think Len’s evil alter ego Sven was out in full force this week – he was here, there, and everywhere with his critiques.  And just all-around crabby.  As for the Bengals fan that claimed the Chad was “the best dancer on the show!”…as a football fan from the Midwest, I can attest that he unfortunately does represent a pretty good cross-section of Bengals fans.  They’re uber-supportive of their boys in orange, but a little crazy at times…

Heidi: The Browns fans are worse. :-) As for Len, well, see my numbers post. I think I’m all ranted out where he’s concerned.

Courtney: Ohhh the Browns…why is it that the worse the team is, the more rabid their fans are? I would hate to see the kind of pandemonium that would occur if a member of the Lions or *gulp* the Raiders did the show…eeek!

The “Say WHAT?!” Award: Nicole’s “Aaaaaghhh!” and “Holy mother of…AIR!” comments, (dis)honorable mention for Erin’s “geeked up” comment

Courtney: Nicole had a little bit of verbal diarrhea this week, I’m afraid – the frustrated noise she made during practice left me a little bit scared, and I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the “Holy mother of air” comment…is that seriously the best she could come up with on the fly? And as for the “geeked up” comment – I’m not sure that was the best choice of words, Erin…go look it up on Urban Dictionary…

Heidi: I think maybe I need to look it up in the urban dictionary. :-)  As for Nicole, at least she only slams herself.  I loved Derek telling her she was being stupid though, because she was – she needs Derek to do that more often because the serious circles under her eyes mean she’s losing sleep, which will make her too sensitive. She needs a visit from Crazy Derek who will give her a good, metaphorical, slap.

Courtney: Go look it up…kind of a big “whoops” on her part, if she didn’t know what it meant.  But I loved Derek’s face as Nicole was getting upset…it kind of ran the gamut of “What the hell is she talking about?” to “Oh she’s such a silly girl!” to “I have absolutely no clue what to say.”

Heidi: He definitely had a “girls are so stupid” moment.  You know when he gets that WTF? look on his face and starts laughing at your face, it’s a bad sign. :-)

The Lifty McLiftertons Award: Chelsie

Courtney: This girl does RIDICULOUS lifts – no wonder they’ve been using her almost every week in the pro dances! While I had seen her do a few lifts in routines when she was on SYTYCD, I had no idea her prowess extended much further…she’s like a monkey, those long lines and no fear of heights! She may not be competing with a celeb anymore this season, but I doubt she’s gonna be totally absent from results shows, with skills like that…I’m sure John will agree :-)

Heidi: What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t see the results show, remember? :-) But I imagine it would be easy to throw a ten pound toothpick with hair in to the air. :-)

Courtney: Oops! Sorry Heidi…yah, Chelsie was doing all sorts of crazy lifts with Tony during Melissa Ethridge’s first performance.  Maks & Anna were dancing at the same time, but you barely noticed them because everything they were doing looked small and ho-hum compared to Chelsie’s acrobatics. Edyta also had one really good lift during she & Alec’s performance during “Come to My Window”.

Heidi: Ahhhh, I see. Yeah, Chelsie is a lot like Julianne in that respect – remember a couple seasons ago when Jules danced with Tony and did some crazy ass lifts?? Amazing shit.

Courtney: She’s definitely taken over as the “master liftee” since Julianne’s departure.  And Tony seems to be the master lifter…you ever noticed that none of the other guys really do the same heavy-duty lifting that Tony does? Dmitry is probably a close second, but they don’t feature him nearly as much as Tony. 

The Relapse Award: Brooke telling Pam (and America) that she was dancing the samba next week…when she is really dancing the waltz

Courtney: Now I’m not sure if someone was telling her the wrong thing on the teleprompter or if she maybe confused Pam with another contestant, but Pam definitely got a bit of a funny look on her face when Brooke said samba.  God bless Pam, she just rolled with it, and even gestured to Evan and said “Samba…that’s what you did, right? Looks like fun!” Whatever happened, it was definitely a little bit of a “D’oh!” moment, and I felt like Brooke regressed a bit.  But she’s still miles ahead of the cheesecake comment!

Alas, it was a good week for cheesecake ;-) Did you guys think of any that we may have forgotten? Let’s hear ‘em! And everyone wish Heidi a safe & happy return from her travels :-)

April 28, 2010 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – A Little Bit of Media

Just a couple of interviews with the entire cast after the performance show. :-)

ET with Donny Osmond:

George with the Local LA Affiliate:
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src="http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/static/flash/embeddedPlayer/swf/otvEmLoader.swf?version=&station=kabc&section=&mediaId=7408129&cdnRoot=http://cdn.abclocal.go.com&webRoot=http://abclocal.go.com&site=">

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – Dancing by the Numbers

Well, Len is on crack, that is all there is to it. I don’t think he called a single dance right last night. Not a single one. Neither the ones he liked, nor the ones he didn’t like. Let’s recap, shall we?

Len to Jake on his Samba: Showing confidence, performance was polished, forgiving the mis-step, lacking rhythm. Good job, well done.

This is when Jake actually had a mis-step, and Len gives him a 7. Then next is Evan, who easily dances a better Samba than Jake, with hips and everything and doesn’t have a mis-step. Yeah, he was a little off, but there were no glaring errors. And Len?

Len to Evan on his Samba: Worst Dance he’s done, was ballet instead of carnival. (Gee, he tells Nicole too much shimmying – like you would do at Carnival) – Len gives him a 7.

Next up, Niecy with a funny Argentine Tango. What the hell? What is wrong with Louis and his silly themes this season? He was great when he made the one dance about equality, but then the rumba about Niecy’s brother and now the AT that is supposed to be funny? With eating the rose and the cookie, Len should be a bad ass because of those gimmicks, right? Um, no.

Len to Niecy on her Argentine Tango: I liked the comedy. It didn’t interfere with the performance (even Tom questions him). Lacked a bit of intensity, but overall it was good. (WHAT????)

But after all those nice comments from all the judges, they get 7’s. No wonder Maks is pissesd and confused. Next up, Erin. Uh oh. Maks is taking off clothes, Len ain’t going to like this. Why is Maks doing this, particularly after the cracks (jokes??) about Jake being desperate and losing his pants?? Len’s going to pop a blood vessel!
Len on Erin’s Samba: Erin hold my gaze. From week 1 I’ve given you a 7 and tonight I’m giving you another 7 when you should be getting 8’s and 9’s. Show me a proper dance, fed up with shirts coming off , she doesn’t need that, etc. blah blah blah.

Okay, so he did pop a blood vessel and Maks talked back, like a jerk (and normally I find him funny). So, Len gives her a…wait for it…7. This is probably the only dance he came close on tonight even though I thought it was good, but because of the gimmicks crap that he’s given 6s for before. And Nicole didn’t yank Derek’s clothes off and danced as good or better – and still only got a 7.

Okay, so Chad is doing better. He got an 18 last week, he should get a 20 this week based on that dance, right? Especially after how they scored Evan, right? Um, no.
Len on Chad’s Argentine Tango: You either grow or you go. You grew tonight.

Um, what? Yeah, he grew, but by THAT much?? Len gives out his only 8 of the night to CHAD? After seeing Evan dance, he gives Chad an *8*??? And Nicole gets dinged for not doing two of Len’s favorite moves despite doing another killer dance (with *other* Samba moves, just not his favorites), with her actually doing the moves? Speaking of Nicole – cool your jets, girl, Len ain’t ever giving you a 9 again unless he’s on his meds again. Might as well relax.

Len on Nicole’s Samba: For me, difficulty and performance level was great, line at the end was ugly, too much gyrations. You didn’t do my two favorite moves. It’s a hodge podge of sexy moves and gyrations.

Um, hyperbole much Len?? So let me get this straight – the difficulty and performance level were great, but she didn’t do two moves you like so you’re giving her a 7?? In what universe does what Len actually SAY make sense? If he thought it was just gyrating and sexy moves, then why did he say the difficulty and performance level were great?? WTF?? Chad stands there while Cheryl dances around him and he gets an 8?? Crack, I tell you. Crack.

Next up, Pam. Frankly, I thought Pam was excellent. A little hesitant at times, but the best AT of the night, IMO. Easily. What does Len say?

Len on Pam’s AT: The tango is about seduction and you can do seduction very well. You got the flavor of the dance but it was a bit scraggy here and there, but over all a good job.

He gives her a 7, of course. I’m sorry, but I think there is something rotten in Denmark.

Anyway, rant over. For now.

The Math

Here are the Judges Scores:
Dancer/Score
Nicole/36
Erin/34
Chad/31
Pam/30
Evan/27
Niecy/26
Jake/25
Total Judges Points Awarded = 209

So, Evan is in the bottom 3 and Chad is in the top 3? In what universe?? Crack-land, that’s what universe. Erin, I’m thinking she was slightly over scored – or Pam was underscored. Or both. Take your pick.

Dividing the individual scores by the total points awarded gives you the following percentages:
Dancer/Percentage of Total
Nicole/17.22
Erin/16.27
Chad/14.83
Pam/14.35
Evan/12.92
Niecy/12.44
Jake/11.96

I’m going to say that Nicole, Erin, Evan and Chad are safe. After that? Well, I think it’s between Niecy and Jake, since Pam was in the bottom two last week. Who will go?

Dancer/Votes

Evan– No problem, regardless of his score. Question is, WHY did they score him so low. Something is rotten in Denmark? Does he really need more sympathy?? His dance was better than a 21
.
Nicole – I think she and Derek did a great job, don’t know what Len’s problem REALLY is – when you stack Nicole against the other people who got 7’s from Len plus Chad – there’s no comparison. I didn’t have a problem with anything she said in rehearsal, especially not when compared to Maks’ behavior tonight and Erin’s comments in the past. I don’t know why Nicole isn’t allowed the same issues as everyone else.

Erin – I wonder how she’s really doing on votes? Am I the only one (along with Courtney) getting tired of her schtick?? I think she got a strong enough score to be safe, and there are always those HOPELESS romantics out there that will vote for a SHOWmance every time.

Chad – I agree with Courtney. He didn’t really dance much, but Cheryl sure did. Calling him safe, either way.

The next 3 – no clue how the voting is going. The way the “bottom” couple changes from one week to the next makes me think it must be close.

Niecy – Jake- Pam equal too close to call. Pam is the best of the three, easily better than Chad, and equally as good as Erin. But people aren’t voting for her in large enough numbers.

Okay, revisting the bottom four dancers in terms of judges scores, we have:
Pam/14.35
Evan/12.92
Niecy/12.44
Jake/11.96

Forget about Evan. He’s going nowhere. For Pam to go home, fulfilling the bottom two deal from last week, Jake would have to get 24k more votes per 1 million votes cast AND Nicey would have to get 19,200 more votes per 1 million votes cast. Will this happen? Beats the hell out of me. I’m going to say no, both of those things won’t happen. I’m inclined to think that Jake won’t score the 24k more per 1 million. I’m inclined, for that reason, to think Jake is going home. However, it’s entirely possible that other people besides myself thought the humorous AT was actually NOT and decline to vote for Niecy. Nothing will surprise me at this point, actually. Well, I would be shocked if Evan or Nicole or Erin went home – but you never know.

So, my final call is Jake with Niecy as second runner up. I hope like hell my prediction hasn’t doomed Pam.

April 27, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)