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PureDWTS Season 17, Week 9 – Power Rankings

Just a quick side note before I break down last night’s show: after perusing Facebook & Instagram last night and witnessing some of the irrational and illogical outrage from some viewers following Liz’s elimination (and Bill’s continued presence), I have to say – I’m so grateful for our intelligent, logical, and rational readers here at Pure :-) Consider this an early addition to my “things that I am thankful for” list that my family usually recites when we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner – I am thankful for the fact that our readers understand how this show works, and their level of intellectual maturity prevents them from shooting their mouths off and making utter and complete fools of themselves on social media because they have no control over their knee-jerk emotional impulses.  So from me to you guys – thank you for not making me bang my head against a wall in frustration :-) The level of stupid on Facebook & Instagram…it hurts…

…moving right along, there was some definite iffy scoring last night, and the judges seemed to be trying like hell to shield both Liz and Leah…although the former seemed to be beyond help, as she got sent home.  Can’t say that any of us were terribly surprised by it – we’ve been saying since before the show started that Liz seems to have a problem connecting to the viewing audience, and her lack of relevance in recent years might have contributed to her struggle for votes.  I also wonder if her bizarre (and kinda self-indulgent…) jazz routine last week contributed to her downfall – I saw a few remarks about how her demand to change the song at the last minute seemed a little “diva-ish”.  Plus that dance was just really a stinker. She had an ok-to-decent night last night – her Viennese waltz, while a bit overwrought with emotion, was actually pretty nice to watch; thought the choreography for her salsa trio was a bit odd (what was with that “cradling the baby” move they all three were doing for what seemed like a long ass time???) and there were a few timing issues (which, of course, the judges conveniently missed), but was overall a relatively decent effort for the trio round.  But in the end – she just didn’t get the votes, just like Christina, Snooki, & Brant.  Sh*t happens, kids. 

1.) Corbin & Karina – Corbin finally seemed to regain his stride this week with two good dances.  I thought he may have gotten nitpicked to death on his waltz (then again, just about everyone did the first round, except the golden girl, Leah), as I found it to be near-flawless – even Mama Spence remarked that he seems to really “get” the concept of rise and fall, and does it without even thinking.  Thought they got a bit shafted with their song choice – “Apologize”? Which has been used as a rumba several times on this show? So what are they doing now – just picking random non-dance-appropriate songs and saying “Hey Harold, can you tweak the arrangement of this one so it’s a waltz?” Reminds me of a CD I had back when I first started doing ballroom that had “My Heart Will Go On” rearranged as all the different dances – there was even a paso doble version! But anyway.  I think they owned the trio round, by far – I thought their jazz trio was the most interesting and engaging to watch, and was the only trio where the celeb really seemed to dominate.  I had to chuckle to myself as I was watching, as I had heard a lot of complaints about them picking Witney – apparently some think she “steals the show” – but I barely even noticed Witney this time, because Corbin was just owning the whole damn thing.  I barely noticed Karina, either – but since the whole point of the trio is to showcase the celeb, I think they succeeded.  Barring any nitpicking-to-death by the judges next week (and who knows what those knuckleheads are going to do), I think he ought to be headed to the finale. 

2.) Amber & Derek – I kinda feel bad for Amber, because I feel like her knee injury is really starting to limit her movement – she’s doing the best she can, no doubt, but I’m really starting to notice how she has to baby her knees while dancing.  Thought her quickstep was cute and she sold it well (as she does with every dance, every week), but she seemed to move really, really tiny and cautious during the stationary sections, and because she was moving so gingerly, she seemed to get a little off-time and off-kilter.  And in a routine that was that short – I think she probably needed to really make a splash.  Still thought the judges nitpicked her to death, though – and the fact that she 3 points less than Leah, who has moved itty-bitty each & every week? Ridiculous. I enjoyed her trio – it was cute, and I think the choreography was clever in that it was fun to watch while still keeping Amber relatively stationary.  Could it have used a little more hip action? Sure.  But I also think Liz’s salsa trio was totally off-time (which is an even bigger offense in my mind) and she still managed to get a 30…so why saddle Amber with a 27? I’m guessing the judges are trying to make things look like a tight race headed towards the semifinals and finals, so they’re really nitpicking to death the couples that stand the best chance of advancing…and they’re babying the ones that aren’t so likely to do so. 

3.) Leah & Tony – *gritting teeth* I can’t believe these two knuckleheads are still here, let alone that I have them this high on the list – but with each week that passes and Leah gets coddled by the judges for non-event dances, the more I’m convinced that they’ve decided that they need her in the finale.  Seriously, no other couple last night got as babied as these two – everyone else either got nitpicked to death (Corbin, Amber, Jack) or totally hosed (Bill), and Leah got a tongue bath a cushy scores once more.  That tango had so little impact, at one point Mama Spence looked over at me and said “Wait…what dance are they doing again?” It was that “small” and soft that she could not even figure out what dance it was supposed to be.  And then that trio – I’m sure Tony just thought he was the most clever & innovative choregrapher ever for coming up with that nonsense.  But herein lies the fishy part: do you think any of the couples would be ballsy enough to poke fun at the judges…unless they knew they were safe? Just food for thought.  If it were me, just knowing how petty the judges can be (Carrie Ann in particular), I wouldn’t have chanced it.  But anyway – once again, Leah barely moves, and her kicks & flicks looked more like what I do to nudge the cat away from food that has dropped on the floor than it did proper jive technique.  Tony & Henry did all the heavy lifting, and Leah just stood there, barely moving, and looking smug…likely because she knew she wasn’t gonna get called out for anything.  I’ve been saying it for weeks, but I’ll say it again: Leah needs to get gone…like yesterday.  But now I’m legitimately worried that they’ve decided to coddle her all the way into the finale, and that she stands a decent chance of ousting one of the two frontrunners (Corbin & Amber) for 2nd place.  Blech.

4/5.) TIE: Jack & Cheryl and Bill & Emma – Both couples gave a valiant effort last night, but I worry that they simply don’t fit into the judges’ “dream finale” and thus will probably get hosed next week. Which sucks, because I’d rather see either of these two over Leah, ANY DAY.  Jack seemed to own the ballroom round, and has really hit a nice stride heading into these last few weeks – really extends his arms, has a great sense of timing, and nails the rise and fall.  Just lovely to watch.  Thought he & Cheryl’s samba trio with Sharna was cute & funny – and the best they could have done given that they got one of the hardest dances to do a  trio with.  Going the comedy route was probably a wise choice – sure, there could have been more hip action, and maybe he got a little bit off-time, but I was still smiling as I watched it :-) God bless Bill & Emma – they know they’re going to get hosed pretty much every week, but they still go out there and give it their all, and make it fun to watch nonetheless.  Thought the Charleston had a cute theme and Bill did the best he could with it – but really, Charleston is one of those dances I really can’t judge anyone too harshly on, because it’s not exactly easy to pick up and there’s not a whole lot to it.  I’d just assume get rid of it completely on the show, but you know that won’t happen.  Loved the trio with Peta for it’s ridiculous train-wreck appeal – that song was absolute crap, and the dance they had to do to it was absolute crap…so they gave the judges absolute, trippy, hiliarous crap :-) It was self-acknowledgingly bad – all three of them knew it, and were in on the joke.  I think that was part of the appeal – the Katy Perry-esque costumes for the girls, and Bill in all his Willy Wonka’d glory.  It was AWESOMELY bad :-) I think it’s quite obvious which of these two the judges want gone (Bill) and who they want to stay (Jack) – but next week, who’s gonna have the votes to pull them through to the finale? I think Bill has proven he’s got some decent voting leverage (enough to negate the hosing from the judges), but will it be enough to get back the points Jack will likely get from the judges? Will either of them have the juice to oust Leah? Time will tell, I guess…

So what did you guys think of last night’s show? Where do you think the couples stand headed into the semifinals?

November 12, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 17, Week 8 – Power Rankings

Did anyone else feel like the dances were a bit…I don’t know, MECHANICAL last night? Almost every dance I saw felt a bit wooden and robotic…like you could practically see the couples counting out the steps as they danced.  Once again, I’m going to chalk it up to all the couples feeling stressed and burnt out, which is unfortunate because I feel like several of them are forgetting that this is supposed to be fun.  Also mechanical? Cher as a judge, as more often than not she seemed like she was out to lunch and just threw in a generic comment and threw up the “9” paddle when prompted (unless, of course, your name is Bill, in which case she managed to locate her “8” paddle…convenient.) Say what you will about Julianne as a judge – but at least she was coherent in her critiques, and I understood why she gave the scores she did.  Cher? Not so much. 

Once again, we have a “shocking” elimination that isn’t all that shocking when you really think about it – I’m guessing that Brant’s fanbase, which seemed to be sustaining him sufficiently well since his bottom 2 scare early in the season, just finally gave out this week…with several people left who are likely pulling in a lot of votes, I think anyone with a “young” fanbase is probably in some degree of jeopardy, by comparison.  I guess all I can hope for at this point is that someone like Bill can somehow edge out an older fanbase like Leah’s…because that woman has GOT to go. 

1/2.) TIE: Corbin & Karina and Amber & Derek – Another not-quite-100% night for both couples, and due to the immunity challenge, there’s some trade-offs that seem to level the playing field between these two.  Corbin & Karina’s Argentine tango, while pretty good technically, just left me wanting a bit more emotionally – not sure if it was the strange song or the fact that these two were pressed for rehearsal time this week, but it just felt really cold and obligatory to me. Corbin seemed to be laser-focused on remembering his steps, and seemed to lose a bit of entertainment value as a result. Amber & Derek also had a strange song to contend with, and while I think they actually handled it well, the choreography just felt a little odd to me – like “rumba by numbers”, if you will, with a few sequences of Amber strutting around in a sassy fashion to fill it out.  Did the music necessitate it? Maybe.  But like Corbin’s Argentine tango, it just kinda left me wanting more, and it wasn’t Amber’s best dance.  Now here’s the kicker: while Amber may have gotten the immunity, Corbin actually got the 3 extra points that came with winning his dance-off against Liz.  Amber is still the cumulative points leader for the season – but with Corbin a mere 3 points behind her, one off-dance could shift the balance of power: say Corbin gets his first perfect 30 next week and Amber falters a bit a gets a 26.  That could mean the difference between picking first and picking second in the next challenge.  And as we’ve seen – that can mean the difference between getting a good song vs. a sh*tty song, or a good team vs. a sh*tty team.  It all adds up, kids… Read more..

November 5, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 17, Week 5 – Power Rankings

I’m currently resisting the urge to go poke obnoxious Christina fans on Instagram with a stick, because so many of them were swearing up and down that she was “the most popular person on this season”, and that anyone trying to say she came across snotty was “just jealous”, and that we all should “just wait – she’s gonna win the whole thing!” *snicker* Hate to say I told you so, kids, but – I told you so.  She was not connecting with viewers, and I think it was a direct result of what many of us perceived as a “I’m too good to be here” kind of attitude – and as a result, she was not getting very many votes AT ALL, to the point where she got painfully overscored and STILL couldn’t manage to stick around.  I highly recommend rereading Heidi’s numbers post from last week, as it paints a rather prophetic picture of what might have happened to send Christina home. 

It’s nights like last night that make me wonder if TPTB do skim Pure from time to time to keep their finger on the pulse of the viewers – because the whole “previous dance experience” bit and the nonsense about lift policing seem like they were plucked directly out of discussions here.  What’s next, guys? Humorous screen grabs? :-P

1/2.) TIE: Corbin & Karina and Amber & Derek – Last night was a bit of an odd night for the two frontrunners – both still had strong routines, but seemed to get picked apart by the judges a bit more.  Corbin & Karina’s foxtrot was a  bit odd for me – the music didn’t seem very foxtrot-ish, and I have to wonder if another style (maybe Viennese waltz) would have suited it better; consequently, I feel like both Corbin & Karina were struggling to make their dance actually fit the music, and while they didn’t overtly lose time, it felt like they may have been on the brink of it at a few times – heck, I even had a hard time keeping a steady foxtrot beat in this one.  Not my favorite dance they’ve done, but I think the whole “lift police” bit was just inane – but I LOVE that Tom actually kinda tried to hold her accountable for it by offering up a “playback” and the option to change her score…of course it didn’t end up working, but I kind of enjoy the fact that Carrie Ann actually had to own her capricious, petty lift-policing this time.  Perhaps she’ll be a bit more cautious about it in the future? ;-) As for Amber & Derek – I enjoyed the routine, except for the bit at the end with the mic, which I think would have played a lot better if it was actually Amber singing instead of just lip-syncing.  Len’s complaint about not enough “in-hold” moves? Really, Len, foxtrot on DWTS has really become more Broadway than foxtrot, and each season we see less and less work in-hold; I don’t think there was any less in-hold work in Amber & Derek’s foxtrot than there was in Nicole & Derek’s foxtrot in season 10, which got RAVE reviews.  But Len usually has to pull out a “7” paddle for Derek at least once a season, and it’s usually when Carrie Ann & Bruno are pulling out 9’s and 10’s…so I guess we got that out of the way early, eh? :-P

3.) Nicole & Sasha – This actually ended up being one of my favorite routines of the night – just  pure fun and pure “Snooki” :-) I just love the way these two work together – and while they may not be the best or most impressive couple on the floor, everything they do entertains me, and has a good energy to it.  Love that they have a bit of a “signature move” now – Nicole sticking her leg out and Sasha jumping over it.  I just think it’s a cute analogy to their partnership: Nicole’s always doing stuff to mess with Sasha, and he just laughs it off and keeps going. I don’t think they could have picked a better partner for Sasha – she meshes well with him, she’s tiny, and she can do some of the gymnastic-y stuff we know he loves :-) I’m hoping they’re getting the votes to stick around – because I think they’ve got the right attitude about this season.  They’re just working hard and having fun – they aren’t tunnel-visioning towards the MBT or trying too hard. 

4.) Bill & Emma – Not the best routine we’ve seen from Bill, but a very sweet, honest routine nonetheless :-) He seemed to have a few timing issues with the Viennese waltz, which I kind of expected, but he seemed to handle it well enough; I think he may have messed up a few steps, but god bless Emma, she was able to move with it and minimize the effect.  Overall, I think the routine was a sweet tribute to his wifey, and it brought back memories of Andy’s Viennese waltz for his daughter last season – both routines that weren’t technically perfect, but were just lovely for their message :-) I do think Bill is gaining some momentum in terms of votes, and has the potential to overtake some of the better (but less popular) dancers if he can continue to improve and entertain us (and not be a douchebag :-P).  Do I think he make the finale? Probably not.  But I still think he’s got at least a week or two left in him…which I’m totally fine with :-)

5.) Jack & Cheryl – I think Jack may be the most underappreciated dancer this season right now – if you really watch him as he dances, you’ll see that he actually GETS the concepts of rise & fall, and actually has a great frame. Cheryl also seems to have instilled in him the ability to really “be there” for his partner, as he seems like he’s never in danger of dropping her or mowing her over.  And man, this routine was just gorgeous to watch – both in terms of technique and feeling.  He certainly didn’t take the easy route with his song, either – the tempo changed quite a bit, so I find it really impressive that he managed to stay on-time. My only complaint? I feel like he’s getting shoved in crummy running order positions, and just seems to be getting lost in the shuffle – last night he was stuck between a ridiculously overscored routine (Christina) and a really, really bad one (Leah).  He’s neither at the top of the pack, nor the bottom; he’s just a pretty good dancer that is slowly improving. I don’t think he’s in danger of getting sent home – yet – but I just feel like I’m not hearing as much “buzz” about him as I am some of the other couples.  Hope he’s not getting forgotten!  

6.) Brant & Peta – It was the better contemporary routine of the night – but unfortunately, that was a pretty easy feat, considering how truly BAD Leah’s contemporary was :-( Generally, though, I thought Brant’s contemporary was pretty good – he handled what he was given well, and he did inject a good deal of emotion and conviction into his moves.  Thought it was a little lift-heavy, and a bit too flaily; but anymore, I’m just kind of “whatever” about contemporary routines on this show, since most of these pros don’t have the contemporary experience necessary to choreograph something great – they’re just flying by the seat of their pants, probably watching YouTube videos for inspiration, and trying to throw something together that their partner can handle while still somewhat-resembling a contemporary routine you might see on SYTYCD.  He seems to be back in favor with the judges, so barring any huge snafus next week, I think he ought to be ok.  He seems like a good kid – I’d definitely rather see him stick around than Leah or even Elizabeth.  Let’s just hope Peta resists the urge to “sex up” any more of his routines…

7.) Elizabeth & Val – After all the hype we saw for this jive throughout the show, I was thinking “This better be the best damn jive this show has ever seen!” Aaaaand…it wasn’t.  Sorry, but the whole SBTB, caffeine pill-throwback skit at the beginning just felt awkward and desperate, and like a waste of time – and I think Liz & Val may have mixed up their 90’s teen sitcoms, because I don’t recall Zack Morris ever climbing through Jessie’s bedroom window (that was a move credited to Sam from Clarissa Explains it All – duh ;-)). It only go worse from there – Liz’s little solo bit at the beginning felt like she got a little too excited and desperate, as she fell out of her pirouttes…and with her dance background, that’s one move I would expect her to EASILY nail.  The actual jive portion started out promising – she stayed on time, her flicks and kicks looked good, and I actually have to commend her on handling the simple spins (which are anything BUT simple) well; but after that, I think she lost some steam, as she seemed to struggle with picking her legs up quite as high and started looking a little winded.  Consequently, it looked like she may have lost time at a few points.  Overall, I admire her effort – but if she wants a hope and a prayer of making it to the finals, she is going to have to step up her game…because I think both Corbin & Amber danced circles around her last night.  The whole “in jeopardy” thing happening AGAIN also doesn’t seem to bode well for her…

8.) Leah & Tony – Ummm, wow.  I think we have our first nominee for “worst dance of season 17″ – because this was a real turd, folks.  I do not care that Tony “has never choreographed contemporary before” (not entirely true); I do not care that Leah is “not a dancer” (heard you the first 10 times, dear); I do not care about how well you did or didn’t “tell a story” (you took too long doing it, anyway) – this routine was just crap.  The cheesy bit with the marionette at the beginning was just that – cheesy – and it took too long to get going; the lifts didn’t feel so much like a part of the dance, as they did just moves that were arbitrarily thrown in “because contemporary!” – oh, and Leah looked heavy going up into them, and it seemed like she was stopping every other beat and just waiting to be lifted.  The ‘tude they were throwing the judges’ way when being called out on all of these things was just the icing on the cow pie for me – everything about this routine and Leah & Tony themselves just left kind of a bad taste in my mouth last night.  And I daresay Leah got a bit of a wake-up call standing up there with Christina last night – I hope she realizes that the sense of entitlement we’ve seen from her is not going to guarantee her safety (if anything, it might guarantee her elimination – she should go ask Christina), and I hope Tony realizes that he has got to kick his choreo up a notch…because they have an uphill battle to stick around next week, and I’m not sure it’s one that they’re going to easily win.

So how do you guys feel about last night’s elimination? And who do you think is on the chopping block this coming week?

October 15, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 17, Week 3 – Power Rankings

Well apparently I missed the memo that Hollywood night was really “Gatsby Night”, as last night’s show seemed to borrow pretty heavily from the new movie…if Baz Luhrmann was going to be a guest judge this season, last night would have been a good night for him to do it! Overall, almost everyone did well and got a rather generous score from the judges – but the unfortunate downside to that is that we may have seen our first glimpse of the puppet strings from the men upstairs, as there was some suspicious overscoring going on that may or may not have contributed to Bill Nye’s exit.  Granted, I think it was his time to go, due both to his injury and the fact that he wasn’t really progressing at the same rate as his fellow contestants.  But Heidi’s numbers post should be exceptionally interesting this week…

…and once again, my rankings are about as clear as mud :-P I’m seriously having a hard time determining who is the most likely to get sent packing – I’m getting some “struggling with votes” vibes from a few of the couples, but nothing that screams “This person is going home next week!”; I’ve also got the added complication of anticipating the modus operandi of TPTB, who now have the power to influence the outcome since they know exactly how many points each couple needs to stick around.  A rather scary pall cast over an otherwise lovely season to watch, no? For that reason, I could see anyone in my bottom 5 potentially getting sent home – depending on how things go down next week.

1.) Corbin & Karina – I think Corbin had, by far, the highest level of difficulty in terms of choreography in his routine last night – and for what it’s worth, he actually handled it pretty well.  There seemed to be a few issues with wobbly frame, and I saw a couple “deer in the headlights” looks, but he kept up with the footwork decently well and delivered a great quickstep, reminiscent of the quickstep Karina did with Apolo a year ago.  But, like the quickstep she did with Apolo, this one didn’t seem to get the love it deserved – or rather, the love it did get was overshadowed by some suspicious overscoring of another couple.  It also confirmed a fear of mine that has been brewing since week one: that Corbin seems to thrive more in the Latin dances, and loses a bit of his sparkle in the ballroom dances.  He’s got a lot of room to improve, but last night was the first time I’ve seen him be less than confident on the floor – hopefully he can hit a groove with the next ballroom dance he gets.

2.) Amber & Derek – Judging from some of the comments I’m seeing on the show discussion post, seems like there’s a debate raging over who had more “Charleston content” in their routines last night – Amber or Christina.  To be honest, I don’t think either was bona fide Charleston – first off, there aren’t that many Charleston steps that exist; secondly, Amber’s music dictated that she do something more than just Charleston, and Christina had Mark’s tendency toward the theatric to contend with.  I would say Amber had more Charleston basics, but the overall mood, steps, and theme of Christina’s routine fit the Charleston better.  And at the end of the day, I’ll be honest: I didn’t particularly care for either one.  Amber unfortunately got saddled with a song that was really more hip-hop than Charleston, and with a ridiculously long intro that didn’t allow for much dancing – and the dancing she did do was just ok for me.  She seemed to hit a bit of a wall with the foot action of the Charleston (which isn’t easy – they ended up using a dance double for Tobey Maguire for a few scenes in Gatsby), but I will give her this: ever the showman, she sold the performance well…even if she wasn’t really nailing the steps.  Anyone else find it totally trippy that Len was the one that seemed to gush about this routine – and it was Bruno & Carrie Ann complaining about the content? :-P Read more..

October 1, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

Vote for Your Favorites in the PureDWTS Season 16 End-of-Season Awards!!!

 Ok gang, now that the hype has had some time to die down…it’s time to vote for your favorites & least favorites in this season’s end-of-season awards :-) Pretty self-explanatory – just select what you think is the best option for each category and submit it.  “But Courtney, you don’t have my favorite listed!!!” Yes, there is an option for write-ins…HOWEVER…

…after the absolute chaos that was the HUNDREDS of write-in votes last season, I’m going to really crack down on the write-in votes.  If you absolutely MUST write-in a response other than the ones we have listed (and I took great pains to include the responses that I thought would be the most likely choices for each category), you MUST do so with a certain format in mind…for example, if you were trying to write in “Zendaya & Val’s Argentine tango” for the best dance, you MUST do it just like I typed it – captalize the first names of the celeb first, then the pro; throw an “&” in the middle, and then put the type of dance after that.  Examples of what not to do: “zendaya val tango” or “Zendaya tango” or “any dance Zendaya did!!!!” Yeah, especially that last one – you get to choose ONE DANCE, not 13.  Any responses that don’t fit the scheme I just laid out are getting thrown out – sorry guys, but I just don’t have the energy (or desire) to weed through 300+ nonsensical, misspelled, & obnoxious responses.  Got it? Good.  Now vote away :-) We’ll share the results in the coming weeks.  Read more..

June 4, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 16, Week 8 – Power Rankings

Well, this is probably going to be a pretty short ranking, because besides nursing a killer migraine…tonight just kind of sucked.

Ballroom round? Too short, and pretty ho-hum.  Trio round? Only one real standout, a couple that were so-so, and the rest were fails.  And of course, Len continues to be a horrible human being.  I miss Andy more than I thought :-( Let’s get this over with…

1.) Zendaya & Val – First off, I probably would have picked a different song for their foxtrot – the fact that it’s a capella made it feel a bit thin & boring.  On top of that, it seemed like it took a little too long to get into the dance, and what I saw, while pleasant to watch, didn’t really excite me.  As for their salsa trio – where was the salsa? I saw a lot of vaguely hip-hoppy stuff and a lot of side-by-side actions, but very little interaction between Zendaya herself and the two guys she was supposed to be dancing with.  And I generally just found some of the choreography to be a bit odd – once again, rather stop-and-go.  It wasn’t a bad dance, per se, but I would dispute the fact that it was a salsa and call attention to the fact that the bulk of it was done individually, as opposed to in couples.  Hell, salsa’s even one of the easier dances to do with 3 people…would it really have been that hard to do a bit more work in-hold? Oh well…they’ve got a 58, so they don’t even have to worry about it…

2.) Kellie & Derek – I feel like they were the only couple tonight that really put a ton of thought into both of their performances, and even figured out a clever way to link the two together.  The Viennese waltz was very pretty, though I would have liked a little bit more of it to be in-hold, because Kellie can handle it; the paso trio was the only dance that really stuck out in my mind tonight, because it was so exciting to watch and it was the only one that actually seemed to work WITH the props they chose, as opposed to just having them there (like several other couples).  Len’s score AND his comment to Bruno about having “something up his ass”? Uncalled for, inappropriate, and I’m just done with that SOB.  If Fox can issue an apology for Steve Tyler’s behavior on Idol, then they can certainly issue one for Len’s behavior on DWTS.  Dude is seriously crossing the line.

3.) Aly & Mark – Man, they’re REALLY trying to make Aly “happen”, aren’t they? Yes, she has grown – somewhat – in her time on DWTS, but I still find her a bit underwhelming to watch.  I actually agreed with (ack) Carrie Ann about her Argentine tango – for as acrobatic & flexible as Aly is, her leg lines seemed a little…weak.  I don’t think it was 29-worthy – maybe 27-worthy.  As for the jive trio – it wasn’t bad, but it was just so BLAND.  Part of it was Aly, but I really just found the choreography to be a bit blah as well – Mark seemed to be erring on the side of safe again.  I have to wonder if she’s not getting the votes – because they seem to be scoring her awfully kindly these days.

4.) Jacoby & Karina – The Viennese waltz was better than I expected, though not his best dance.  Liked the drama of it, but I thought it could be a bit neater.  Actually enjoyed their paso trio with Cheryl, but I feel like the only real problem seemed to be that there was just so much choreography jam-packed into that routine that Jacoby got a little distracted…which could explain why he just kind of flung Cheryl off to the side.  I think they just got so caught up trying to show everything that Jacoby was capable of doing that they may have overwhelmed him.  But overall, I thought he did pretty well with both of his dances tonight…let’s hope that translates into safety.  Not sure what to think after he ended up in jeopardy last week…

5.) Ingo & Kym – Eee gad…this partnership really kind of imploded this week, didn’t it? Kym seems like she’s at her wits end, and Ingo got really, really whiny this time around – that package did not do them any favors.  For all the fussing that they were doing, I think their foxtrot turned out halfway-ok…it was definitely better than Sean’s tango, despite a few little stutters.  The jive trio was basically a dud – you could tell the ladies did everything they could to ensure that Ingo was moving as minimally as possible during that dance, as they did most of the heavy-duty dancing; there was also a rather prolonged entry & exit, perhaps to cut back on the time that Ingo was actually dancing.  I think they’re definitely bottom 2 fodder tomorrow night, and might even end up going home.  They’re just getting hard to watch…

6.) Sean & Peta – Well, I think Sean is probably the weakest dancer left, and I think the judges made clear that it’s Sean they want gone tomorrow night.  The tango felt stompy & awkward, and I could tell that Peta was doing a good deal of backleading in that one.  Jazz trio? Despite having Sharna there to at least offer up some good advice, I think Sean’s trio was probably the biggest fail of the evening.  Like Ingo’s trio, it seemed like they tried to put the ladies front & center whenever they could, and had them doing most of the real moving…although I feel like there was even less actual dancing in this dance than Ingo’s, and Sean was even more awkward attempting some of the jazz steps than Ingo was with the jive steps.  I was pretty much done with Shawn a few weeks ago, and I’m definitely ready to see him go now…the question is: will it be him, or Ingo?

So was anyone else let down by this week’s dances? Go ahead and sound off, I need to lie down…

May 6, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 16, Week 6 – Dancing by the Numbers

Such a weird night. First, they yank out the tens for one of Zendaya’s worst dances….it’s almost like they knew that Team Paso was gonna suck kinda hard. Then, Carrie Ann refuses to give up a 10 to Kellie and Derek, claiming that there was space between them, yet totally failing to note Zendaya’s again bad legs. They then totally hose Andy (and Len continues to be excessively mean to him), while being kind to Victor, who had a worse dance than Andy’s.

Weirdest of all – on paper, Team Paso should have had that dance in the bag. So, did they get over confident? Think they could skate by on bare chests (didn’t the same pros fail at that last season as well?)?? What?? I guess this just goes to show that if you are the weaker team and you have to be MORE creative in order to get past your weak dancers, you just DO.

It will be really funny when the team dance that sucked eggs (and looked like the poor man’s version of Derek/Brooke’s team paso at the end) wins the encore. LOL. Yeeeaaah. :-D

Anyway, how did our dancers do??

week 6

So…Victor is in deep doo doo. It will take a bit of a miracle to save him at this point. What does he need to get to be safe? Victor needs ONE of the following things to happen:

–        Victor needs 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than Andy, OR;

–        Victor needs 13,300 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

–        Victor needs 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than EITHER Ingo or Sean, OR;

–        Victor needs 29,200 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Victor needs 32,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Victor needs 37,200 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Frankly, I don’t believe Victor gets any of those margins. His best bet is Andy and Andy was low scorer last week but was NOT in the bottom two. Victor, on the other hand, had two people below him in terms of score, but was still in the bottom two. Not looking good for Victor. At all.

But let’s say that Victor manages to pass someone. Andy is next in line in terms of judges score. What does Andy need to have happen in order to be safe? He needs ONE of the following:

–        Andy needs for Victor to NOT get 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Andy needs 5,350 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

–        Andy needs 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than EITHER Ingo or Sean, OR;

–        Andy needs 21,300 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Andy needs 24,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Andy needs 29,200 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Now, I don’t think Victor is getting the 8k he needs…and I would be willing to bet that Andy is getting 8k more than Ingo. I just think that Ingo has worn out his welcome. But he was put in jeopardy last week and sometimes a guy gets a bounce after that happens. Will Ingo?? I dunno. My gut is saying no. I think, based largely on his bromance with Tristan and how funny he was about that, Sean is likely safe this week.  I think it will come down to Victor, Ingo and Andy.

What does Ingo (or Sean) need to have happen in order to be safe?? Ingo (or Sean) needs ONE of the following things to happen:

–        Ingo needs for Victor to not get the 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs for Andy  to not get the 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs for Jacoby to NOT get the 2,700 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs to get ONE more vote per million votes cast than Sean, OR;

–        Ingo needs 13,300 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Ingo needs 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Ingo needs 21,300 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Okay, so based on all of the above, I think the following happens:

–        Ingo and Sean aren’t touching Jacoby and he’s safe, easily getting 2,700 more votes per million votes cast than each of them;

–        Andy gets 8k more than Ingo and Victor can’t catch him and is, therefore, safe;

–        Ingo is getting beat by Sean, Jacoby and Andy, but there is no way that Victor is getting 16k more votes per million votes cast….

–        Therefore, Victor goes home.

Seems like a simple math problem this week, but I could be wrong. I was starting to wonder if perhaps Zendaya wasn’t getting the votes, as badly as they overscored her Cha Cha, but I’m also wondering if they put her just far enough down to be safe while rallying her fans to vote like the little maniacs they are.

Doesn’t matter, IMO.  I think it will either be Victor and Ingo or Victor and Andy in the bottom two and Victor will go home.

I’m saying it will be Victor and Ingo in the bottom two and Victor goes home.

April 23, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 16, Week 5 – Who Got the Boot? (SPOILERS)

Fantastic opening number by Mark and Derek!! Very different…and pretty weird. Courtney and I think Emmy nomination. Provided that the outside choreographer (Stacey Tookey this time) doesn’t steal it again.

Did Selena think she was dancing?? Just asking. :-) Tom pimped Sean and Catherine’s wedding…but it was a set up for a joke so I forgive him. ;-)  I have to say, I was getting lots of chuckles from Sean tonight. I’m starting to appreciate his sense of humor. And he likes Tristan so he can’t be all bad. :-)  Val also gets points for funnies. More on that in the Cheese I’m sure. ;-)

I was starting to regret not going with my gut when Ingo was put in jeopardy, right?? Anyway, Victor and DL were the bottom two and DL’s time finally ran out.

How did we all do??

Heidi: I was hoping for DL but figured it would be either Andy or Victor. My gut was telling me Ingo and Victor in the bottom 2. So close…

Courtney: Court said Victor was toast, with DL second from the bottom.

Vogue: Said Victor and DL in the bottom two, with Victor going home.

Winner? The whole audience…and me and Court were both pretty close. Vogue was too, really.  I need to start listening to my gut more and not waffle – I said that I felt like Andy was pulling himself out of jeopardy. So happy to be right on that one!!

ETA: By popular request: Mark and Derek’s opening pro dance – great!!


DWTS Week 5 Pro Dance Apr 16, 2013 by dm_513cce58b3581

April 16, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 16, Week 5 – Dancing by the Numbers

Okay, that turned out somewhat better than expected. For all the pimping of Maks, he ended up being a non-event – for me, anyway.  It’s rather odd, actually. I guess when you have nothing better to pimp, pimp one of the pro dancers who’s known for being a “bad boy” who’s not on this season. Ummmm…okay. I guess TPTB are just pandering to one group or another all the damn time. For those extremist Maks fans who read this site just so they can complain about us (yeah, it makes no sense to me either), the ratings were up LAST week, so if they are up again this week? Get over yourselves…it’s a trend, not an aberration. Reminds me of the Twihards who claimed they were tanking the MTV Awards this year by not watching…and they were actually UP significantly. Don’t jack with numbers, man. :-)

Mah goodness, my favorites of the night were Jacoby and Kellie – fantastic. Loved it. Zendaya is being soured for me by the pimping…and seriously? The bent legs, the instability coming out of the turns…if this girl were dancing with Derek she’d be getting hosed for being a ringer. And we’d be getting trolls out the wazoo.  But since she’s dancing with Val she essentially has rainbows shooting out her ass.  The girl is a good dancer, yes. And I like her as a person. But I have to tell you, I’m seeing a LOT of people in the comments here and on twitter who are getting REALLY good at predicting exactly what will happen. Up for 2 weeks, down for two weeks…to come roaring back to get two tens. Hello – we’ve seen this storyboarding before.  I expect someone else will get a perfect 30 next week – either Aly or Kellie, most likely. Because we have to keep it a horse race at all costs, so it can’t be Zendaya. And, as predicted, Zendaya and Val get the encore.

In the “credit where credit is due” department – Kick ass opening dance, Lacey Schwimmer!! Excellent. Loved it. Girlfriend has been honing her group choreo skills over there in Vegas and it’s paid off.  MUCH better job than Sharna did last week on the women’s number, although Lacey has the benefit of time and no celeb partner. And Sharna is doing great with Andy.

Anyway….how did our dancers do?? Read more..

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 16, Week 4 – Who Got the Boot? (SPOILERS)

Wow…I’m so glad that I spent time voting for that big pro dance that Val won. Or Zendaya’s fans won. :-D  All it amounted to was a 20 second bumper into the commercial?? Yeah, I think that TPTB had something else planned and punted to the pro dance idea. Brilynn Rakes – very inspiring, beautiful dance.   The rest…will be covered in the Cheesecake. :-)

Dang, how about that – I was right on target with the bottom two but a fail with the couple to be eliminated. Victor and Lisa in the bottom two, with Lisa being eliminated.  How did we all do??

Heidi: Said Victor and Lisa would be the bottom two with Victor going home. Close, but no cigar. :-)

Courtney: Said Lisa and Victor in the bottom two with Lisa going home.

Vogue:  Said DL and Lisa would be in the bottom two, with Lisa going home.

Winner??  Courtney was 100% right, but Brilynn Rakes won the night for being an inspiration and getting to dance with her favorite dancer on National TV. I got weepy right along with Derek. :-)

April 9, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)