Jive | Pure Dancing with the Stars

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 3 – Power Rankings

What can I say about Disney night that I haven’t already said in season 28, season 27, season 25, etc.? Not much. It’s the same 2-hour long Disney commercial that it has always been, with dances (usually poorly) shoehorned to fit (overused) songs, and costumes that feel like plagiarized essays – “yeah, you can copy mine from last season, but change a few things so it’s not so obvious.” That much I kind of expected – but I’m also dealing with the added complication this season of still having TOO. DAMN. MANY. COUPLES. It’s enough of a mental load to remember them all at the end of the night, and on top of that, we’re still getting really truncated dances – which is beneficial to some (marginal dancers like Chrishell) while detrimental to others (decent dancers like Skai, who seems to take a few bars to really hit a stride). With 13 couples remaining, next week will basically feel like a regular premiere night, and we’re already in week 4. We’re gonna have to start trimming some fat (and quickly) if we want to get whittled down to a 4-couple finale before Thanksgiving.

Tyrant was still up to her usual “look at meeeeee!” claptrap with her Minnie Mouse ballgown and absurdly long wig, but dare I say she may have dialed things back a just teensy bit this week? At the very least, the judges seemed to get more time to critique, while we seemingly only had to endure one dumb Tyrant question posed to each couple instead of multiple, increasingly painful ones that the celebs struggled to answer eloquently (or diplomatically). Don’t get it twisted – this show is still much harder to endure than necessary, owing to Tyrant’s presence (and Bergeron’s absence); but this week felt fractionally less painful. Think someone pulled rank and told her to pipe down after last week’s sh*tshow?

So “that b***h Carole Baskin” got sent packing this week, and I hope that means I don’t have to hear any more bitching about how upset some of you were that “Derek saved her!” last week. You guys do realize the judges collude on who to save/ditch, right? So even though it appeared that Derek “got the deciding vote”, the three of them had already decided who was staying and who was going, and it was just a matter of what order they revealed their votes in to maximize suspense. And Carole had to have more than one vote to stay, yet nobody seemed as upset with Carrie Ann as they were with Derek. My god, I worry about the intelligence quotient of the voting public these days *facepalm*. Anywho, it was her time to go – and I think that’s why they handed her samba as her style this week to ensure it, as nearly no one nails that dance and even the good ones usually just barely flirt with proper technique. Carole basically tiptoed carefully through her dance – no bounce, not much rhythm, but I will credit her with generally keeping in step with Pasha. And I think Carole may have been saved from complete embarassment when Tyrant hit her with this gem of a question: “So how does Pasha compare with the cats?” That’s like someone asking me how Mama Spence compares to the spreadsheets I use to make budgets at my 9-5. I dunno – I worry about both of them making dollars and sense? Da fuq. Is anyone rehearsing these questions with Tyrant before the show, or is she just improvising them on the fly???

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 2 – Power Rankings

Welcome to “Dancing with Tyra Banks! And 15 Other Famous People But Mainly TYRA BANKS!!! Did We Mention TYRA BANKS??? WE ARE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO SAY HER NAME AT LEAST 50 TIMES PER SHOW, SEND HELP!”

For anyone still able to hold onto the notion that Tyra “is doing better than we thought she would”, I admire your optimism, but I’m completely over her after only 2 weeks. Every time she asks an awkward (and usually frivolous) question after a couple gets their judges’ critiques (which are cut woefully short), or we have to hear her make every interaction about herself in some way, or we’re forced to witness her awkward attempt at humor in the “smizing” cold open, I just think to myself “Tom Bergeron would have never stooped to this level, and he could have gracefully hosted this show with a blindfold on and his hands tied behind his back…and it would still be better than this drivel!” Erin would have been worlds better than this as well…and Samantha Harris…and even one-and-done host Lisa Canning. About the only previous host Tyra has beat is Brooke Burke-Charvet, owing to the fact that Brooke wasn’t much more than a barely-sentient (but very pretty) potato. At least Tyra has a certain trainwreck appeal that makes her somewhat entertaining to watch…

…so with the new(ish) voting format, as Heidi mentioned, we’ve kind of discovered that it may actually be more beneficial for a couple to dance in the first hour of the show (as opposed to the second); I don’t think it was a coincidence that they seemed to front-load the show this week with most of the good dancers (Nev, Skai, Johnny, Justina, AJ) and left more of the weaker dancers in the back half (Charles, Carol, Chrishell, Vernon, Anne). And I don’t think the order in which the couples were called “safe” from elimination was a coincidence, either, despite Tyra insisting that the couples were “in no particular order”; the earliest ones called safe (Kaitlyn, Justina, AJ, Johnny) are the ones I think the majority of us assumed would be the safest, and the last three standing (Chrishell, Carol, and Charles) were the three most of us had in the danger zone. I find the fact that Skai was one of the last four standing to possibly be a bit of a warning shot – I’m wondering if she’s dealing with Disney Kid Syndrome(TM) and is struggling with votes.

Other noteworthy stuff? On the negative end, I’m not sure the cameras panning to the couples sitting in their socially-distanced balconies after watching another couple dance is a good thing – more often than not, the couples were either making strange (potentially shady?) faces, or were messing with their phones; at least once, the camera panned to an empty balcony for a few beats. On the positive end, we are getting to experience the saucy troll side of Derek – the passive aggressive “Good job! That’s all I have time to say!” to Jesse after being rushed along from giving a critique by Tyrant (I’ve decided it’s her new name, y’all, since she’s the airtime hoarder) was SENDING me, as was this Carrie-Ann trolling TiK ToK he posted the other day that has inspired me to resurrect my long-marinating “lift policing” post for later this week 😉 Seriously, I cannot wait to see what other sassy comedic GOLD this arrangement sends our way – this is what happens when you hire the most decorated former pro in DWTS history to judge, after he’s had a successful run judging another more high-profile show on a rival network and he has absolutely NOTHING to lose by being a bit of a little shit 😉

@derekhoughShe’s a stickler for lifts @dancingabc♬ original sound – Tucky

So we lost Charles & Emma, which wasn’t terribly surprising – I think most of us had Carole and Charles as our bottom two; really and truly, as much as everyone seems to want Carole gone, I do think the right decision was made – I thought Carole was slightly better than Charles both weeks. Charles, bless him, I just don’t think he was going to improve much more this season. Sweet man, sweet partnership with Emma…but just not meant to go the distance. Read more..

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 1 – Power Rankings

As I find myself saying more and more often in this god forsaken year – this episode of Black Mirror sucks 😛

Granted, my bar for this season of DWTS was set lower than ever; I was expecting a certain degree of shenanigans that inevitably comes with COVID-19 precautions. The lack of audience meant the couples seemed to just get swallowed up by the stage (and lighting), and the walls constructed on both sides of the dance floor to obscure the lack of audience seemed to evoke a sort of post-apocalyptic robot obelisk. Then there was the dystopian (and highly unnerving, at times) pre-recorded applause, booing, and cheering noises that were piped in, often at the wrong time (and wayyyy too loud). The intro of the celebs at the beginning of the show seemed to be some sort of bastardized version of the “choose your player” screen at the beginning of video games, with each character pulsing awkwardly in some sort of characteristic movement – or a preview of the 2020 version of The Sims, who knows. While I enjoyed the intro of the pros walking to the stage one by one and striking a pose, they all seemed to look a bit sad – I like to think it was because they missed Tom. I certainly did.

I just can’t with Tyra, guys. I know it was her first night, but sis was just trying wayyyy too hard, and it came across disingenuous and awkward at times; I just found myself going “We let go of the ease and aplomb of Tom and Erin FOR THIS???” And this is DWTS, not the Met Gala – so the ginormous “look at meeeeeee!” ballgown made me roll my eyes, as did the costume change. I can’t recall Tom or Erin ever changing costumes during the show, or wearing anything that was so over-the-top as to shift focus from the contestants. Nor did they feel the need to stunt in a Ferrari… Read more..

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – THE FINALE: Week 9 Live(ish) Blog!!!

And just like that, the inaugural season of Juniors comes to a close tonight. Granted, tonight’s episode was already taped wayyyyy back on August 25, but I’ll be honest: I’m surprised that I’ve been able to avoid inadvertently spoiling the winner for over 3 months 😛 According to one outlet, I apparently “strongly insinuated that Kenzie won” (I did?) and someone else on Twitter was claiming that I told him Ariana won (again – I did?), but the only real spoiler I offered about the winner was their gender – you can find that spoiler at the bottom of the master spoiler thread I’ve been linking to all season. Who are your guesses for who wins? I will say this: after the taping of the week 8 show, source told me that they thought that “any of the four remaining couples could win it”. So the outcome of the show was truly surprise for the contestants as well, since they all saw it as anyone’s game. Except Gleb, apparently, but that’s a story for another time…

Songs & dances here. Bound to be a jam-packed show tonight – each couple is redoing their favorite dance with their pro included this time, and doing a Christmas freestyle. I am so ready to see Brandon doing “Rolex” with Ariana & Artyon 🙂

Say what you will about Alana – but she was always a showman, even if her technique wasn’t great. She delivered in that opener.

Artyon looks like a mini-Keo 😛

Kenzie/Sage/Gleb up first. Gleb thinks the dance is special “because I’m in it.” May seem innocuous on the surface, but given Gleb’s narcissistic tendencies, it just grates.

I’m thinking Kenzie picking this dance was probably a bit of a strategic career move (since it’s her song), but I don’t know that it’s a particularly memorable dance. The addition of Gleb just made it weirder.

Mandy loves that she got to see that dance a second time. Adam says she’s “a different girl” and “taking no prisoners”. Val thinks she “shined” and then seems to throw a slight dig in at Gleb saying that Kenzie “came in with potential” so she “did great things”. Scores are 9, 9, 10.

Brandon looks exhausted in the package. I can imagine chasing those two around all season was no easy task 😛

Some nice little flourishes added to the dance with Brandon joining them. Pretty cute.

Val says “Iconic.” Adam can’t wait to see what they do in the next round. Mandy is complimentary of all three team members and generally fulfills the supportive mom role she has all season.

Tens, tens, TENS ACROSS THE BOARD!

Miles/Rylee/Lindsay redoing the salsa, dalmatian outfits and all. And I gotta hand it to Lindsay – that felt like a cohesive routine, with some nice double-leading by Miles, rather than a retooling with Lindsay just shoehorned in.

Val is glad he redid this dance, since he was so hard on Miles the first time. Mandy gives Lindsay props for being a great coach. Adam thinks Miles has “grown so much”. 10, 9, 9 – ok, I thought that was better than Kenzie, but whatevs.

Sky warns Alan that he “better kill it” in this salsa they’re redoing 😛

Alan skateboards in with Sky and bungles it almost immediately, hehe. It’s cute overall, but feels a tad shoehorned. I thought Miles won the “favorite dance” round.

Mandy commends Alan for “diving into” the whole mentor role. Adam thinks Sky has grown the most of the finalists. Val says Sky “emobodies what this competition is about”.

Sky being Tony Robbins again 😛

10, 10, 10 – I thought Miles & Rylee were better, but again…whatevs.

Kenzie up first in the freestyle round. Sage says ten more words for a grand total of MAYBE 50 words spoken this season.

It’s pretty hard-hitting hip-hop with a little bit of stepping and Charleston thrown in. It’s good…maybe my favorite dance she’s done.

Mandy thought it was incredible, and hopes this show has brought back Kenzie’s “love of dance”. Adam just stands up and shrieks. Val thinks that is what a freestyle should look like.

Worth mentioning: Gleb did enlist the services of an outside choreographer for this freestyle…which I think shows.

10, 10, 10. I’m guessing freestyle round is probably gonna go the same way it does on the regular show – unless somebody really bungles stuff up, they’re all getting perfect scores.

Per Zoe (@ptxdwts) on Twitter: Ebonee Arielle choreographed Kenzie’s freestyle.

Ariana & Artyon up next, serving you Grinch & Cindy Lou Who realness 😛

It’s a very theatrical, Broadway-esque dance. Artyon did two pretty impressive lifts with Ariana.

Adam thinks they had “so much to be proud of”. Val says he thinks they’re going to be “big stars”. Mandy says Ariana is “a star”.

9, 10, 9 – soooo…what was the issue there, Val & Adam?

Miles & Rylee are next. Loving the snow white costumes 🙂

It’s mainly hip-hop, but I saw blurbs of their jive, Charleston, and even a bit of Carlton Banks 😛 I thought it was excellent. Anthony Anderson in the audience cheering for Miles.

Val thinks Miles has made it “cool” for boys to dance. Mandy says he’s been such a joy to watch this season. Miles tearing up a bit (awww). Adam says he’s “a superstar”.

Lindsay is full on weeping with pride. Goddamn, my house is dusty.

10, 10, 10 – I would have called foul on anything less.

Sky & JT last…and it looks like a surfer Christmas theme.

It’s a cute routine, and energetic – but it feel like there was a lot of posing and non-dancing moments. I think Miles’ freestyle had the best content.

All three judges generally commenting on Sky being an “inspiration”. Sorry guys – things are moving so fast and the judges are kinda being repetitive anyway.

Three 10’s – and I believe their score of a perfect 60 leaves them at the top of the leaderboard as the audience votes for the winner…

And the winner is…

…SKY & JT!!!

Alan is full-on bawling. Alexis who? This is what real emotion looks like from this man.

And that concludes my blogging for the first (and hopefully not last) season of Juniors…thanks for joining me! We’ll keep posting news in the off-season, and we may see you back in the spring (depending on whether we’re getting a spring season or not). HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY!!!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 8 Live(ish) Blog!!!

So we’re already on the penultimate episode of our inaugural season of DWTS Juniors. As of right now, no word on whether it’s been renewed for a second season yet; while part of me hopes some news drops next week concurrent with the finale, I think it’s going to be awhile before we hear anything. Source seems to think spring season of DWTS/second season of DWTS Juniors is going to hinge upon whether or not they can find a suitable replacement for the two shows – if not, then they get greenlit. So if you want more – start putting vibes out into the universe that ABC can’t find anything better.

So the four remaining couples are doing two dances this week, for the first time this season; spoilers here. If I remember the notes I was given correctly, the taping of this episode turned into a bit of a Kenzie lovefest, as a good chunk of the audience were Dance Moms/Ziegler girl fans. Will be interesting to see how that gets edited this week, as the judges seemed a bit “meh” on her last week.

I love Jordan & Frankie as a hosting duo. Don’t @ me.

Love Sky’s tango dress. And Miles just makes me SMILE. 🙂

Kenzie wants a standing ovation from all 3 judges. She’s probably gonna get one, as this is one style that actually suits her hard-hitting movements.

Still not wowed by Kenzie in general, but she did well with the paso – actually handled it better than Sage, I think. Too many high kicks, though…GLEB.

I agree with Mandy that Kenzie was “driving the car” on that one – Sage was a bit of an afterthought, I’m afraid. Adam isn’t crying, but giving her a “WOOOOOOO!!!” Val is proud of her, and says “it’s important to break the rules in art”…this coming from the guy that touts ballroom purity as a measure of superiority. Just sayin’…

Frankie setting them up for 10’s…and they get 10, 10, 10. Meh.

Sky & JT up after the break!

Still loving the junior troupe, BTW.

I hate “Thunder” but I think Sky & JT are probably going to deliver a solid tango. They’re getting flustered and tired in rehearsal, and Sky is in tears, but Alan is handling it beautifully.

I thought they killed that – Sky in particular really seemed to nail the legwork. Lifts went off without a hitch.

Adam thinks they have “the best chemistry of any couple”. Val says it was a “really tough routine”, and Mandy commends them for “diving 100% into whatever style they’re given each week”. She mentions Sky’s “biscuit” feet but says they’re getting better. Sky being adorable apologizing for “being little but really heavy”.

They get 10, 9, 10 – I probably would have given it three 10’s, but generally probably about right.

Miles & Rylee are up. They’re dancing to DWTS fixture Pitbull, who sucks. 🙂

Miles is filming Black-ish while also rehearsing, so it’s created some stress for them.

He never ceases to impress me – he paid such close attention to the technique, and seemed to really get the leg action well. There were a few bits that looked a bit frantic, but overall, another great dance.

Val says that cha-cha “had the most power I’ve ever seen in a cha-cha”. Mandy loves watching him because he “loves to dance” and has “such joy”. Adam says Miles brings “an energy to every performance” and Miles “is born to perform”. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Miles becoming a triple-threat and start singing within the next few years…

They get 9, 10, 9 – I probably would have thrown in another ten, but whatevs.

Ariana & Artyon after the ‘mercial break!

Side note: I get irrationally irritated by the High School Musical soundtrack, because I had to listen to it for hours at a time when I worked at Claire’s like, 10 years ago.

Brandon laying down the law in rehearsal!

Gotta be honest: not my favorite routine from these two. Song wasn’t ideal, and they seemed like they were struggling with the beat a bit.

Mandy, however, thought it was “gorgeous”. Adam says Ariana “blew it out of the water”. Val wishes his middle school looked like that. I’mma be a tad irked if they score higher than Miles & Rylee, who I think were low-balled.

They get 9, 9, 10 – eh, aight. Funny that they had “last day of school” written on the chalkboard for their dance, as two days after this episode was taped, it was the first day of school for some of the junior pros, who had to work with a tutor at the rehearsal studio 😛

Miles/Rylee and Kenzie/Sage duo after the break!

Ariana & Sky shaking the fringe on their dresses is adorbs 😛

Sage gives us another short sentence. HE SPEAKS! They are happy to get paired with Miles & Rylee, but Miles can’t be there so it’s a bit hard. Looks like Gleb is trying to call the shots – hope Lindsay is shutting that sh*t down. Linds & Rylee go to the Black-ish set to teach Miles the dance. Kenzie is “nervous for him”. Psssh.

Poor Miles is at least three inches shorter than the other three but he’s still selling the hell out of the dance 😛 Kenzie hitting harder than Rylee – calm down, girl. Overall, a cute samba/jazz, though.

Mandy loved it. Adam says Kenzie “is having a heck of a night!” and that this routine is his favorite of the season so far. Val agrees. It was good…but “best of the season”? Hmmm.

They get 10, 10, 10. I’m ok with it.

Brandon/Alan bromance >>> Alexis/Alan showmance. No contest.

Ariana/Artyon and Sky/JT are doing a jive/foxtrot fusion. Probably more tricky than the samba/jazz fusion the other team got. Lots of screeching. Kids are ‘cited to dance together 🙂

Extremely cute routine, but not quite as cohesive as Miles & Kenzie’s, I don’t think. Definitely harder, though.

Adam says the dance was “all about teamwork”. Val think the girls are “a hit show in the making”. Mandy says it was “full of wow moments”, but did say that there were a few timing issues. But she loved the complexity of the choreo.

They get 10, 9, 9 – probably about right, if you take into account the cleanliness issue.

And heading home is…

…nobody! They’re all going to the finale 🙂

Sky and Ariana crying tears of joy. All the kids thrilled. These are the reactions that make me LOVE this show so very much 😀

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1, Week 8 – Who’s Dancing What?

So we’re in the semi-finals, which are actually part 1 of the finals because nobody’s getting eliminated this week and they’re all proceeding to the finale. Points/votes from this week’s show will just roll into the finale, to determine the eventual winner. More spoilers here.

Thoughts: Kenzie got a dance that will likely suit her tendency to hit every line hard. While it kinda stinks that Ariana got saddled with a ballroom dance for the 2nd week in a row, that song will probably help her to blow it out of the water. I think I’d rather get a root canal than listen to “Thunder“, and it doesn’t seem to be the right kind of song for Argentine tango. I feel pretty neutral on the duos – Kenzie/Miles seems stronger technically, but I’m still getting a disconnect from Kenzie during her performances; Ariana/Sky will probably be a crowd-pleaser.

Ariana & Artyon (mentored by Brandon) – foxtrot (song: “We’re All in This Together” from High School Musical)

Kenzie & Sage (mentored by Gleb) – paso doble (song: “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga)

Miles & Rylee (mentored by Lindsay) – cha-cha (song: “Shake Senora” by Pitbull feat. T-Pain & Sean Paul)

Sky & JT (mentored by Alan) – Argentine tango (song: “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons)

Dance duos:

Ariana & Artyon/Sky & JT (song: “369” by Rhett George)

Kenzie & Sage/Miles & Rylee (song: “Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus)

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The Semi-Finals are right around the corner! #TeamAlan and #TeamBrandon are pairing up for a performance you don’t want to miss — get ready for duo dances this Sunday on #DWTSJuniors! ????????

A post shared by Dancing with the Stars Juniors (@dwtsjuniors) on Nov 28, 2018 at 8:57am PST

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#TeamGleb and #TeamLindsay are doubling down on their dancing! @milesbrown was filming at @blackishabc this week so he had to learn ALL his dances through FaceTime. ???? #DWTSJuniors

A post shared by Dancing with the Stars Juniors (@dwtsjuniors) on Nov 28, 2018 at 1:52pm PST

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When you’re trying to do work but all your groupmates are just hanging out. ???? #TeamBrandon teaches us a lesson we know very well — we’re all in this together. #DWTSJuniors

A post shared by Dancing with the Stars Juniors (@dwtsjuniors) on Nov 29, 2018 at 10:40am PST

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 7 Live(ish) Blog!!!

It’s “Time Machine” week, which is basically the Juniors equivalent of “decades” week on regular DWTS. Songs and dances here, spoilers here. Sorta-spoiler: this is basically the semifinals, because everyone who makes it through tonight goes to the finale. No elim next week.

Thoughts headed into tonight: I think the right bunch of kids are left, based on their performances so far this season. As little as Kenzie does for me, she’s one of the better dancers. Not sure I agree with preponderance of Dance Moms fans that think she’s a shoo-in to win, though. If the results of this season of regular DWTS are any indicator, there are factors at play beyond dance skill that determine who wins…

Nice little opener from the pros. Cute how they did a segment with each couple that corresponded to their decade. Too bad that song has been grossly overused within the context of this show.

Miles & Rylee up first. Miles actually seems to have a pretty good idea of what the ’50s was like. And he’s probably gonna kill this jive…though he does look a bit winded in rehearsals, bless him. Miles is now rattling off facts about Disney, frozen dinners, etc.

WOWWWWWW. Lindsay did not go easy on them with that choreo, and they nailed EVERY. LAST. STEP. And they made it look easy! Miles is extraordinary. Technique was SPOT ON.

Mandy thinks Miles “is here for the win”. Adam says it’s “down to the wire, and [Miles] seized the moment”. Val says “Miles Brown” funny, and thinks Miles has “soul”. He also praises Rylee for being a strong partner, and says “you can’t teach that soul” re: Miles.

Miles talking about the Lakers being in Minnesota in the ’50s, and color tv being invented. They get 9, 9, 10 – for once, Adam gets it right and the other two judges miss the mark. That was ABSOLUTELY a 30-worthy routine. I’mma be pissed if another, less technically-perfect routine gets higher than that.

Junior troupe appreciation moment: why do these kids seem ten times more charismatic than the current adult troupe? 😛

Still not sure how “Call Me Maybe” fits with an 80’s theme. Something about the way Kenzie talks reminds me of Nan, Jamie Brewer’s character on American Horror Story: Coven. Like she’s got some sort of secret that she’s trying not let slip.

This is taking awhile to get going. And too prop-heavy. Kenzie & Sage are handling it well, but this choreo looks like Gleb went on YouTube and searched “80’s jazz”. Feels a tad formulaic at times.

Adam thinks Kenzie’s “giving it 100%, but isn’t letting go”. I kinda agree – feel like she’s always in performance mode, while the other kids are LIVING their dances. Val thinks she’s “an amazing dancer, period” but implies that Kenzie didn’t seem “inspired” by her performance. Mandy thought it had great jazz content, and makes Val demonstrate a hitch kick, but thought there were a few “bobbles” on the turns.

Sage talking about having to learn how to use a pay phone is maybe the most I’ve heard him talk all season. They get 9, 8, 9 – probably about right.

Mandla & Brightyn up next. Mandla is so sweet & soft-spoken, but lights up on the floor. Wish he got more love from the judges.

Something about wormholes…

That was actually really dramatic, and Mandla had some pretty impressive shaping. Maybe got a tad wishy-washy on some of the sharper arm actions, though.

Val notes the same – some areas where he hit the paso hard, and others where he didn’t so much. Mandy reminding everyone that Mandla has “no previous dance experience”. Which implies that others do 😉 She loved the shaping and thought it was great. Adam thinks what Mandla’s done “with no dance experience” is “absolutely incredible”. Really hard-selling the “no dance experience” angle this week…hmmm…

They get 8, 8, 8 – I probably would have thrown a 9 in there, but probably about right in the grand scheme of things. Funny how the Juniors judges have no qualms scoring tough when a routine doesn’t cut the mustard, but the adult version judges cop out and give 9’s & 10’s when 7’s & 8’s are deserved…

Alanna makes a cameo with the troupe! Jordan and Frankie join in doing the Macarena. Glad she’s such a good sport 🙂

Ariana & Artyon up next. This should be interesting, considering they haven’t done a ballroom dance yet. Ariana tells Artyon he smells like popcorn. And Brandon can’t get them into frame. Ohhh buddy…

Song’s a skosh slow for a quickstep and there’s little to no body contact, but beyond that – it’s actually a very cute dance with a lot of quickstep content. Dare I say that Artyon actually may be a bit better at ballroom than Latin, technique-wise…?

Mandy loved it. Adam knows quickstep can be challenging, but praises them staying on-time. Val says quickstep is tough, Ariana is a star, yadda yadda…might have Frankenstein’d his critique together in post, it seems ramble-y.

Ariana & Artyon’s costumes might be my fave. You can tell they’re feelin’ themselves in their 40’s gear 🙂

They get 9, 9, 9 – and I agree. Not quite as solid as Miles & Rylee, but definitely better than Mandla & Brightyn and Kenzie & Sage.

Sky & JT are closing the show. I have a feeling they’re probably going to slay this…

Love how plucky Sky is: “Our dance is in the 1920’s, so it’s gonna be really cool!” Interviewer: “What do you know about the 1920’s, Sky?” Sky: *blank stare & grin* 😛

It was a fun dance and they sold it well, but not sure there was a ton of actual Charleston in it. Miles & Rylee still the best dance of the night for me.

Adam says Sky should be proud of how she’s become a “role model” on this show. Val believes in Sky and thinks Sky has “it”. Mandy says the Charleston is her favorite, but wants Sky to focus on being ON the beat, rather than in front or behind it. Sky gushing and being thankful and making my house dusty again…need to change the furnace filter…

They get 9, 9, 9 – I would have thrown an 8 in there, because I felt like Ariana & Artyon were better, but otherwise…score’s about right. Elim after the break 🙁

Frankie’s mic cuts out…or they edited out sound. Hmmm…we have no sound.

Leaving us tonight: Mandla & Brightyn 🙁

Still can’t hear Frankie, Jordan, or anyone but the crowd. Poor Mandla doesn’t even get a decent send-off. Sky is bawling, but Mandla seems to be handling it very gracefully.

See you next week for TWO dances from each couple!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1, Week 7 – Who’s Dancing What?

So Sunday’s show is being branded as “Time Machine” night – I was originally told it was 90’s night, which didn’t make sense since Kenzie’s song was “Call Me Maybe” and that song was released in 2011; “Time Machine” doesn’t make much sense, either, as Kenzie’s now doing an 80’s jazz to a song released 21 years after the 80’s ended 😛 Oh well…semantics, I guess. I think the only song that was actually released in the decade it’s meant to portray is “Rock Around the Clock” – the rest just seem to have a certain time period “feel” to them. This’ll be Ariana & Artyon’s first ballroom dance, so that should be interesting; I could see Sky & JT knocking that Charleston out of the park. Some other spoilers here.

Ariana & Artyon (mentored by Brandon) – 40’s quickstep (song: “Classic” by MKTO)

Kenzie & Sage (mentored by Gleb) – 80’s jazz (song: “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen)

Mandla & Brightyn (mentored by Cheryl) – futuristic paso doble (song: “Gangsta’s Paradise” by 2WEI)

Miles & Rylee (mentored by Lindsay) – 50’s jive (song: “Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Haley & His Comets)

Sky & JT (mentored by Alan) – 20’s Charleston (song: “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got)” by Fergie & Qtip & Goonrock)

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This week, our Juniors hop in a Time Machine to visit the distant past, and maybe even the future. What era do you want to see #TeamCheryl in? ???? #DWTSJuniors

A post shared by Dancing with the Stars Juniors (@dwtsjuniors) on Nov 20, 2018 at 4:17pm PST

Dancing with the Stars Season 27, THE FINALE – LIVE BLOG!

Here we are at the finale already!! If you want to see what it takes to win, and who we think will win, see Courtney’s Power Rankings and my Dancing by the Numbers posts from this past weekend.

Well, if history is any indication, it’s Evanna or Milo, eh?

VOTING IS OPEN NOW – ONLINE ONLY!!

Heh, Bruno doesn’t know where his camera is. 😀

This opening is kinda fun….taped yesterday or Saturday. Can’t remember.

Alexis up first with her Argentine Tango. Talking about something other than her showmance. Ooops. Spoke too soon. Sounded like the Bachelorette there for a moment.

I do love this music, but it’s still not great for an AT….and her feet are STILL wrong, in week 9. Other than her feet which annoy, she moves very well.

Len says congrats to all the finalists. Says Alan pulled off a terrific dance, nice lyrical feel. Says he’s concerned with the footwork (agreed). Bruno says she’s gained poise and elegance, loves the classical touches, the connection works. He felt it. Noted a little stumble on the landing, then says he didn’t see it. CAI says she’s opened up but her pointe wasn’t as strong (that’s what I was seeing).

Scores: 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27. For those keeping track, I was a point too high on my guess for her score.

Lin-Manuel Miranda in a commercial for Mary Poppins. :::swoon:::

Did you all know that Bobby has never danced before? 😀 Should probably warn the audience if you’re going to high five them. Looks dumb otherwise.

I’m sure bobby is doing a better job at this dance because the bar was so low….but it’s still so stiff in the actual dance parts. Even his hammer part is too wild.

Bruno…can’t tell if he likes it or now. I think not, because he then says he understands why he’s there at the finale. CAI says he defies the law of ballroom and latin dancing, but his hard work pays off. Blah Blah. Len says he put the ham in hammer, but he has to say that he doesn’t have the good feet, blah blah, but he makes so much fun out there than Len has so much fun.

And he gets a 24 out of 30. I think I nailed that one.

Female pros killing it – Witney, the master of the hair whip out in front.

Must we really see the retrospective?? Surely that time is used better elsewhere.

Oh god, a Bachelor dance. So Joe, Eric, Nick, Val and Wells (my favorite). Wells is dating the little girl from Modern Family, so don’t get to excited seeing her in the audience. 🙂

OMG…too much virginity talk. All the rest of it is typical Bachelor fun stuff. I should live blog my thoughts on that show if you think I can be harsh regarding this one. 🙂

Evanna up next!! If you didn’t see, check the PDH twitter feed to see a video of nearly every potter star wishing her luck only one I didn’t see was Daniel Radcliffe.

Her Halloween tango I think puts Alexis to shame. I miss the cat ears though. 🙂 She’s doing great. Not seeing any issues yet. Well done!! Yikes, a near perfect score the first time around??

CAI says congrats to Keo and says Evanna is the most improved dancer, and this dance was even better this time. Len says he gave her a challenge last time and she accomplished it. Bruno remembers the kitty ears too. Says she adds something every week.

And she gets a 30! I believe I was on target with that score as well.

The male pros without shirts! How new, exciting and different. :::yawn::: This show had more class when Derek and Mark were on it. Oh, Demarcus? Well, that helps.

Milo up next! My wine tastes…funny. Not bad. Just different. Anyway….what dance is he doing again?? Something with Robin Thicke? Okay Charleston. He’s still awesome, that hasn’t changed. Lift was a little awkward. I think live performance throws them off a bit, but that was still an excellent dance.

Len is annoyed – he has underpants older than Milo. 🙂 He didn’t like the charleston as much…last time. This time he had the Charleston swivel. Bruno says it was even more exciting and sharper than ever. Out of this world. CAI says he is ridiculously amazing, says he’s the one to beat. STFU, CAI. I don’t think she’s forecasting, just hoping. But it wouldn’t surprise me if she was trying to appear omniscient.

And they get a 30 as anticipated.

Yeah, let’s pimp the tour…with shit camera work. And that’s two total fuckups by camera men. Good thing we didn’t call it a drinking game…

All the male celebs are going on tour. Oh boy. Biggest surprise elimination in 27 seasons, Tom? Really? I don’t think so, but whatever. Ad why does he get to dance again? You realize there is only 50 minutes left and you’re going to screw the winner out of their moment yet again?

Tinashe looks and sounds great…but so bored of these male pros and their Magic Mike moves. Come on, get some real choreo here gang.

For those wondering about the numbers, they are extremely similar to what I forecast yesterday. The numbers for the freestyles that haven’t been danced yet are, of course, guesses.

Dancer	Re-do Dance	Freestyle	Total	% of total points awarded
Milo	30.00	30.00	60.00	26.20%
Evanna	30.00	30.00	60.00	26.20%
Bobby	24.00	28.00	52.00	22.71%
Alexis	27.00	30.00	57.00	24.89%

Total Points Awarded			229.00	1.00

If these numbers hold, here’s what Bobby and Alexis would need to do to win. And they’d have to beat both Milo AND Evanna.

Bobby vs. Alexis	2.18%	21,834
Bobby vs. Evanna/Milo	3.49%	34,934

Alexis vs. Evanna/Milo	1.31%	13,100

Alexis is up first with her freestyle, talking about how this was her mom’s favorite show.

I don’t know that Alexis is good enough a dancer for this kind of freestyle. She looks stunning though. The staging is getting in her way as well. There isn’t much to this so far. I think she’s kinda hosed by having a live performer. Yeah, that was an awkward ending and the dance was much too simple for her and what I think she’s capable of. Not that great, IMO.

Len seems to love it. I suspect that everyone gets a 30 except for Bobby. Bruno says it was a big risk and that the level of difficulty (emotionally) was high and she was on top of it. CAI says it started out with a struggle, but once she hit the floor she earned it back and it was her best dancing to date. I don’t agree with that, but it is the freestyle.

Oh god, more showmancing. Whatever it takes, I guess.

And they get a 30 as expected.

Bobby’s freestyle is up next. The one advantage he has is with people who wait to see the freestyles before they vote. This is where Evanna and Milo are hampered. If you’re going to vote, VOTE NOW.

There’s no talking during freestyles!! But it’s who he is…he needs to flap his gums. Took a long time to get to the dancing. And he’s off time. So many dancers I lost him several times. I thought that dance was short…and he’s talking again. Okay, the best part was Tom ACTUALLY flossing. LOL. That was clever. And they throw in some more shit camera work.

Bruno seemed to love it, says Sharna did a fantastic job. CAI is confused (she stole my wine!!) – she seems to love it too although she comments on his counting out loud. Len says he’s not always been the judges champion – he’s Len’s champion tonight though.

Score: 30?? I hope like hell the judges know what they’re doing. :::runs off to do the numbers:::

NUMBERS UPDATE: If all four couples get a 30 on their freestyle, here is how the numbers end up.

Bobby vs. Alexis	1.30%	12,987
Bobby vs. Evanna/Milo	2.60%	25,974

Alexis vs. Evanna/Milo	1.30%	12,987

I think Bobby beats Alexis, but can’t beat either Evanna or Milo. After that, it comes down to who gets the most votes – Evanna or Milo. It all might actually hinge on the freestyle – but I might give the edge to Milo since he’s not going last. Evanna based on actual dancing.

Milo and Witney up next with their freestyle. The umbrellas are dangerous, but if they pull it off it could be amazing.

Oh Milo! Looking all grown up there. Starts off very well. Lots of actual dancing. It’s going to piss me off that Alexis and Bobby each got 30’s when you stack their dances up with this one. Yep. Pretty cool. Vastly superior to the two that went before it.

That look on CAI’s face should be her thinking why did I give Alexis and Bobby 30s?? Usual freestyle hyperbole comparing to other seasons BS. Len is raving also. Bruno…also raving. I’m tired of typing, can you tell? 🙂

Score: 30, as expected.

Hurry up and get Evanna out here!! Jesus, cutting it kinds close once again.

Is Keo going to throw up? Dancing to Evanna’s favorite dance in the world. Keo says he’s going to go big. I hope he doesn’t go too big – sometimes less is more. Keo talking about how he made family/friend with Keo. Evanna getting weepy. She says this was one of her happiest times.

Clever staging and I love this song too. Wow. Nice lift. Love the fast/slow components. Damn, I loved that. It just made me happy. It was such a happy, joyful dance. Fantastic!

Len is talking about the evening and the dance. Calls this dance the cherry on the cake, he loves the mix of styles. Len congratulates Keo. Bruno raves. CAI says she did a great job, she made it her own. Says there is something very special about her – agreed.

Scores: 30 – well deserved. Still pissed that Bobby and Alexis also got 30s – it lessens the scores for Evanna and Milo.

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!

Looks like we’re getting some results right now. Oh first we have to have some kind of emotional song while we look at shots of the contestants. Why do we keep doing this same thing every season?? Find another way, kids. Have a killer pro number (with shirts on the men for a switch) while we wait for the producers to count all the votes.

Okay, here we go….

Going straight to the winner….

The Winner is….Bobby and Sharna.

This show is dead. You heard it here first. The day DWTS died.

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 6 Live(ish) Blog!!!

It’s “Giving Thanks” week, and the junior celebs are paying tribute to those they’re thankful for – get ready for appearances from Stevie Wonder and Maddie Ziegler, as I believe they’re joining Mandla & Brightyn and Kenzie & Sage, respectively, for their performances tonight. Looks like a dark horse might emerge tonight, and we say goodbye to yet another beloved couple. Although Jason’s relatively composed elimination last week gives me hope that maybe the remaining kids will be able to keep their composure from here on out…prolly not. Oh well…at least the rest of the show is pleasant to watch 🙂 Far more so than its adult counterpart these days…

Pretty cute opener, seeing the junior celebs, junior pros, and mentors all dancing together – reminds you of how young these kids are 😛 Once again, Kenzie & Sage look more like mentors than juniors.

Ariana’s dedicating her routine to her family and is doing a salsa. Ariana’s abelo & abuela come to visit at rehearsal 🙂

It’s fun and energetic, and they both are selling it well – though I don’t know that it’s necessarily their strongest performance. Tuck that tush under, Artyon!

Mandy is “thankful for that salsa!” and commends Artyon on the lift. Adam wants to know if Artyon can lift him next. Val says it was “spicy” and “authentic” and thinks Puerto Rico is proud of Ariana.

They get 9, 9, 9 – they seem happy.

As an aside: you start to notice some of the editing if you know where to look. Case in point: the voiceover from Jordan talking about the DWTS finale tomorrow night. Clearly filmed later on, and you notice the only thing you actually saw Jordan saying was “Frankie!”

Mandla is giving thanks for his dad – and he’s dancing to “Isn’t She Lovely”, his favorite song his dad has written. Stevie seems touched 🙂

It’s a lovely foxtrot – no pun intended 😉 What I love about how Mandla moves is just how organic he is – he may lack the polish of some of the kids with previous experience, but there’s something so genuine about his dancing.

Adam thinks it was his best dance. Val thanks Stevie for being there, and Stevie says the dance “looked good to him!” Hehe. Brightyn is crying, and saying how she’s so touched by Mandla’s relationship with his dad. Mandy says it was beautiful. They get 9, 9, 9 – looks like tonight’s episode of Sesame Street may be brought to you by the number “9”.

Akash & Kamri up next – and I’m told this Bollywood jazz is TOTES ADORBS.

Akash is thankful for his parents, and they love “Jai Ho”. They’re visiting rehearsal and they’re every bit as darling as he is 🙂

I think that may have been his best dance – he was nailing all of the arm and leg movements. And he looked so proud!!!

Val thought it was his best dance. Mandy praises him for “cleaning up” his movements. Adam agrees with both.

Akash’s favorite move was the “pump-up move” and he’s trying to teach Frankie 😛 He gets 8, 8, 7 – and they’re shrieking with joy. Adam’s weird.

Miles & Rylee up next!

Like everyone thus far, Miles is thankful for his family. He’s dancing to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. I remember his mom & Dad from when he was on AGT 🙂

Miles is like a mini-Jordan – he just moves so confidently. I loved it.

Mandy name drops La-La Land and praises Miles “genuine sense of joy”. Adam is mad he didn’t get any flowers from Miles 😛 Val thinks it was one of his best dances and praises the footwork and technique, and appreciates that he’s a short guy that “dances big”. His critiques have improved from week 1, I’ll give him that.

Miles says his family has both chicken & turkey for Thanksgiving. They get 9, 9, 8 – seriously, WTF, Adam. You’re my least favorite judge.

Sky is thankful for her family, too. Her brother looks like he could be her twin.

It’s a pretty foxtrot and Sky seems so chuffed to being doing it the whole dance. I still feel like both Miles & Mandla were better, thought.

Adam is getting choked up. Val says it was “so special” and had “emotional range”. Mandy says it was excellent and praises Alan for Sky & JT looking “coached”.

Ocean (Sky’s brother) is waiting in the skybox and making me cry. Sky & JT get 9, 10, 10 – ok, it was good, but I still feel like Mandla & Miles were just as good. And dammit, these kids are making it dusty in my house…

Obvi, Kenzie is thankful for her sister, Maddie. So clearly, we need to invoke Sia again.

It’s good, but Kenzie still seems to exaggerate her movements – contemporary dancer having trouble transitioning to ballroom?

Val praises the sisters’ relationship. Mandy talks about “dancing big” and “full-out”. Adam wants to be the 3rd Ziegler sister.

Frankie sarcastically saying that Maddie has “never danced before” is unintentionally hilarious, given the song-and-dance of this season. 😛

They get 9, 9, 9 – I’m getting a tad tired of the “9” paddle tonight.

And now its time to say goodbye…

…to Akash & Kamri. 🙁

Akash was such a bright spot this season – just so exuberant and happy to be there. My god, Akash is so mature and articulate. I’mma miss this one…

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 3 – Power Rankings

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 2 – Power Rankings

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 1 – Power Rankings

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – THE FINALE: Week 9 Live(ish) Blog!!!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 8 Live(ish) Blog!!!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1, Week 8 – Who’s Dancing What?

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 7 Live(ish) Blog!!!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1, Week 7 – Who’s Dancing What?

Dancing with the Stars Season 27, THE FINALE – LIVE BLOG!

PureDWTS DWTS Juniors, Season 1 – Week 6 Live(ish) Blog!!!

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