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PureDWTS Season 17, Week 5 – Power Rankings

I’m currently resisting the urge to go poke obnoxious Christina fans on Instagram with a stick, because so many of them were swearing up and down that she was “the most popular person on this season”, and that anyone trying to say she came across snotty was “just jealous”, and that we all should “just wait – she’s gonna win the whole thing!” *snicker* Hate to say I told you so, kids, but – I told you so.  She was not connecting with viewers, and I think it was a direct result of what many of us perceived as a “I’m too good to be here” kind of attitude – and as a result, she was not getting very many votes AT ALL, to the point where she got painfully overscored and STILL couldn’t manage to stick around.  I highly recommend rereading Heidi’s numbers post from last week, as it paints a rather prophetic picture of what might have happened to send Christina home. 

It’s nights like last night that make me wonder if TPTB do skim Pure from time to time to keep their finger on the pulse of the viewers – because the whole “previous dance experience” bit and the nonsense about lift policing seem like they were plucked directly out of discussions here.  What’s next, guys? Humorous screen grabs? :-P

1/2.) TIE: Corbin & Karina and Amber & Derek – Last night was a bit of an odd night for the two frontrunners – both still had strong routines, but seemed to get picked apart by the judges a bit more.  Corbin & Karina’s foxtrot was a  bit odd for me – the music didn’t seem very foxtrot-ish, and I have to wonder if another style (maybe Viennese waltz) would have suited it better; consequently, I feel like both Corbin & Karina were struggling to make their dance actually fit the music, and while they didn’t overtly lose time, it felt like they may have been on the brink of it at a few times – heck, I even had a hard time keeping a steady foxtrot beat in this one.  Not my favorite dance they’ve done, but I think the whole “lift police” bit was just inane – but I LOVE that Tom actually kinda tried to hold her accountable for it by offering up a “playback” and the option to change her score…of course it didn’t end up working, but I kind of enjoy the fact that Carrie Ann actually had to own her capricious, petty lift-policing this time.  Perhaps she’ll be a bit more cautious about it in the future? ;-) As for Amber & Derek – I enjoyed the routine, except for the bit at the end with the mic, which I think would have played a lot better if it was actually Amber singing instead of just lip-syncing.  Len’s complaint about not enough “in-hold” moves? Really, Len, foxtrot on DWTS has really become more Broadway than foxtrot, and each season we see less and less work in-hold; I don’t think there was any less in-hold work in Amber & Derek’s foxtrot than there was in Nicole & Derek’s foxtrot in season 10, which got RAVE reviews.  But Len usually has to pull out a “7” paddle for Derek at least once a season, and it’s usually when Carrie Ann & Bruno are pulling out 9’s and 10’s…so I guess we got that out of the way early, eh? :-P

3.) Nicole & Sasha – This actually ended up being one of my favorite routines of the night – just  pure fun and pure “Snooki” :-) I just love the way these two work together – and while they may not be the best or most impressive couple on the floor, everything they do entertains me, and has a good energy to it.  Love that they have a bit of a “signature move” now – Nicole sticking her leg out and Sasha jumping over it.  I just think it’s a cute analogy to their partnership: Nicole’s always doing stuff to mess with Sasha, and he just laughs it off and keeps going. I don’t think they could have picked a better partner for Sasha – she meshes well with him, she’s tiny, and she can do some of the gymnastic-y stuff we know he loves :-) I’m hoping they’re getting the votes to stick around – because I think they’ve got the right attitude about this season.  They’re just working hard and having fun – they aren’t tunnel-visioning towards the MBT or trying too hard. 

4.) Bill & Emma – Not the best routine we’ve seen from Bill, but a very sweet, honest routine nonetheless :-) He seemed to have a few timing issues with the Viennese waltz, which I kind of expected, but he seemed to handle it well enough; I think he may have messed up a few steps, but god bless Emma, she was able to move with it and minimize the effect.  Overall, I think the routine was a sweet tribute to his wifey, and it brought back memories of Andy’s Viennese waltz for his daughter last season – both routines that weren’t technically perfect, but were just lovely for their message :-) I do think Bill is gaining some momentum in terms of votes, and has the potential to overtake some of the better (but less popular) dancers if he can continue to improve and entertain us (and not be a douchebag :-P).  Do I think he make the finale? Probably not.  But I still think he’s got at least a week or two left in him…which I’m totally fine with :-)

5.) Jack & Cheryl – I think Jack may be the most underappreciated dancer this season right now – if you really watch him as he dances, you’ll see that he actually GETS the concepts of rise & fall, and actually has a great frame. Cheryl also seems to have instilled in him the ability to really “be there” for his partner, as he seems like he’s never in danger of dropping her or mowing her over.  And man, this routine was just gorgeous to watch – both in terms of technique and feeling.  He certainly didn’t take the easy route with his song, either – the tempo changed quite a bit, so I find it really impressive that he managed to stay on-time. My only complaint? I feel like he’s getting shoved in crummy running order positions, and just seems to be getting lost in the shuffle – last night he was stuck between a ridiculously overscored routine (Christina) and a really, really bad one (Leah).  He’s neither at the top of the pack, nor the bottom; he’s just a pretty good dancer that is slowly improving. I don’t think he’s in danger of getting sent home – yet – but I just feel like I’m not hearing as much “buzz” about him as I am some of the other couples.  Hope he’s not getting forgotten!  

6.) Brant & Peta – It was the better contemporary routine of the night – but unfortunately, that was a pretty easy feat, considering how truly BAD Leah’s contemporary was :-( Generally, though, I thought Brant’s contemporary was pretty good – he handled what he was given well, and he did inject a good deal of emotion and conviction into his moves.  Thought it was a little lift-heavy, and a bit too flaily; but anymore, I’m just kind of “whatever” about contemporary routines on this show, since most of these pros don’t have the contemporary experience necessary to choreograph something great – they’re just flying by the seat of their pants, probably watching YouTube videos for inspiration, and trying to throw something together that their partner can handle while still somewhat-resembling a contemporary routine you might see on SYTYCD.  He seems to be back in favor with the judges, so barring any huge snafus next week, I think he ought to be ok.  He seems like a good kid – I’d definitely rather see him stick around than Leah or even Elizabeth.  Let’s just hope Peta resists the urge to “sex up” any more of his routines…

7.) Elizabeth & Val – After all the hype we saw for this jive throughout the show, I was thinking “This better be the best damn jive this show has ever seen!” Aaaaand…it wasn’t.  Sorry, but the whole SBTB, caffeine pill-throwback skit at the beginning just felt awkward and desperate, and like a waste of time – and I think Liz & Val may have mixed up their 90’s teen sitcoms, because I don’t recall Zack Morris ever climbing through Jessie’s bedroom window (that was a move credited to Sam from Clarissa Explains it All – duh ;-)). It only go worse from there – Liz’s little solo bit at the beginning felt like she got a little too excited and desperate, as she fell out of her pirouttes…and with her dance background, that’s one move I would expect her to EASILY nail.  The actual jive portion started out promising – she stayed on time, her flicks and kicks looked good, and I actually have to commend her on handling the simple spins (which are anything BUT simple) well; but after that, I think she lost some steam, as she seemed to struggle with picking her legs up quite as high and started looking a little winded.  Consequently, it looked like she may have lost time at a few points.  Overall, I admire her effort – but if she wants a hope and a prayer of making it to the finals, she is going to have to step up her game…because I think both Corbin & Amber danced circles around her last night.  The whole “in jeopardy” thing happening AGAIN also doesn’t seem to bode well for her…

8.) Leah & Tony – Ummm, wow.  I think we have our first nominee for “worst dance of season 17″ – because this was a real turd, folks.  I do not care that Tony “has never choreographed contemporary before” (not entirely true); I do not care that Leah is “not a dancer” (heard you the first 10 times, dear); I do not care about how well you did or didn’t “tell a story” (you took too long doing it, anyway) – this routine was just crap.  The cheesy bit with the marionette at the beginning was just that – cheesy – and it took too long to get going; the lifts didn’t feel so much like a part of the dance, as they did just moves that were arbitrarily thrown in “because contemporary!” – oh, and Leah looked heavy going up into them, and it seemed like she was stopping every other beat and just waiting to be lifted.  The ‘tude they were throwing the judges’ way when being called out on all of these things was just the icing on the cow pie for me – everything about this routine and Leah & Tony themselves just left kind of a bad taste in my mouth last night.  And I daresay Leah got a bit of a wake-up call standing up there with Christina last night – I hope she realizes that the sense of entitlement we’ve seen from her is not going to guarantee her safety (if anything, it might guarantee her elimination – she should go ask Christina), and I hope Tony realizes that he has got to kick his choreo up a notch…because they have an uphill battle to stick around next week, and I’m not sure it’s one that they’re going to easily win.

So how do you guys feel about last night’s elimination? And who do you think is on the chopping block this coming week?

October 15, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 17, Week 4 – Power Rankings

 Overall, I think I enjoyed last night – liked that there wasn’t a particular theme, and everyone got a different dance, so as to avoid being compared against another couple.  Wasn’t particularly wild about the Ray Leeper-choreographed opening number – to quote Mama Spence, “That was a whole lot of nothing!” and goes to show that choreography created for ballroom dancers by non-ballroom dancers doesn’t always work well. 

I think Julianne actually ended up being a pretty fair judge – granted, I think it was decided before the show started that she was simply going to echo the same score that Carrie Ann & Bruno called out, but I still feel like she gave constructive criticism and didn’t put anyone down…which Len has a tendency to do on the regular.  Not gonna lie – I’m kinda glad it was Julianne judging instead of Len during the week that Bill & Emma did their samba ;-)

As lovely and inspirational as Valerie was, I do feel like it was her time to go – she seemed to be really struggling these past few weeks, and the poor woman is probably getting really tired.  But I’m SO glad we got to see her this season, and her foxtrot from week one is probably going to remain one of my favorites :-) And god love Tristan – there’s a pro that gives a whole new meaning to “being there” for your partner.  I don’t think there are too many male pros on this show that could handle both the physical and emotional strain that having a partner with terminal cancer can bring – and he handled it with such poise. 

 1.) Corbin & Karina – For all the ado about him dancing shirtless before last night’s show, he really wasn’t shirtless for long – and it actually did fit the routine, IMO.  After he and Karina stalked around each other and let the tension build, the shirt coming off was kind of a gesutre of “Ok, now I’m throwing my hat in the ring.  It’s ON!” and it worked with mood.  Anti-shirtless brigade, take note: this is an example of the correct way to go shirtless. :-) Really and truly, I thought this paso was fantastic – Corbin never missed a beat, he was invested in it, and contrary to what the judges said, I didn’t think “his hip-hop moves were creeping in”; I actually thought he was creatively styling some of his arm & hand gestures, which I’ll take any day over limp, apathetic, purposeless moves.  Anyone else think the judges were intentionally being REEEEEALLLLY nitpicky about this one? I’d say this worthy of at least one “10” – it was that good, kids.  And I know there’s been some talk from some here about “Ehhh, I kinda don’t like Corbin & Karina, they’re desperate, they’re trying too hard, etc. etc. etc.” I’ll just say this: if this routine was the result of their “desperation” and “trying too hard” – then more power to them. :-) Read more..

October 8, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

PureDWTS Season 17, Week 2 – Power Rankings

I’m in a bit of a strange position this season – I find myself liking just about everyone, and I think it’s making it hard for me to predict who’s next on the chopping block :-P I probably rewrote my list of rankings 4 times before deciding on this…and I’m not even 100% confident in this list! So take it with a grain of salt…because things are just kinda murky right now :-P

I think Keyshawn going home was for the best – I just don’t think he had the necessary time to devote to the show this season, and I wonder if things would have been different if he had been on the spring season instead of the fall one.  I do get the feeling now that he was really trying – but just wasn’t sure how to connect to the audience. Oh well – I wish him the best, and hope we still get to see Sharna from time to time this season. Glad I got to keep Bill E. though :-)

1.) Corbin & Karina – A very cute, clean, energetic jive, made good by the fact that Corbin just seems so enthusiastic about every dance he does.  I thought the song was a little odd (an opinion shared by Chelsie, who also tweeted “weird song to jive to”), but the overall presentation & theme were cute – probably a good idea to play off of Corbin’s HSM background.  My only complaint? In an odd twist, Corbin actually actually seemed a bit too sharp on some of the flicks & kicks – I’m usually complaining about the celebs being a little lazy on their kicking & flicking, so this was actually a pleasant change of pace! Will be interesting to see how Corbin handles a ballroom dance next week – I’m wondering if he might be someone that just KILLS it in the Latin, but stumbles a bit in the ballroom.

2.) Amber & Derek – A bit of a backslide for these two this week, which I still partially blame on their overscoring last week.  While I wished Amber’s technique was a bit better in this jive (and that she had worn ballroom shoes, which probably would have helped her kick & flick more easily), once again she had great energy and really sold the performance – and she actually stayed pretty well on-time, which is more than I can say for some of the other couples tonight.  I have a feeling she & Corbin will be taking turns at the top from week to week, so it will be interesting to see who fares better with a ballroom dance – I have a feeling she’ll be doing ballroom as well next week.  Read more..

September 24, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

Vote for Your Favorites in the PureDWTS Season 16 End-of-Season Awards!!!

 Ok gang, now that the hype has had some time to die down…it’s time to vote for your favorites & least favorites in this season’s end-of-season awards :-) Pretty self-explanatory – just select what you think is the best option for each category and submit it.  “But Courtney, you don’t have my favorite listed!!!” Yes, there is an option for write-ins…HOWEVER…

…after the absolute chaos that was the HUNDREDS of write-in votes last season, I’m going to really crack down on the write-in votes.  If you absolutely MUST write-in a response other than the ones we have listed (and I took great pains to include the responses that I thought would be the most likely choices for each category), you MUST do so with a certain format in mind…for example, if you were trying to write in “Zendaya & Val’s Argentine tango” for the best dance, you MUST do it just like I typed it – captalize the first names of the celeb first, then the pro; throw an “&” in the middle, and then put the type of dance after that.  Examples of what not to do: “zendaya val tango” or “Zendaya tango” or “any dance Zendaya did!!!!” Yeah, especially that last one – you get to choose ONE DANCE, not 13.  Any responses that don’t fit the scheme I just laid out are getting thrown out – sorry guys, but I just don’t have the energy (or desire) to weed through 300+ nonsensical, misspelled, & obnoxious responses.  Got it? Good.  Now vote away :-) We’ll share the results in the coming weeks.  Read more..

June 4, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 16, The Finale – Power Rankings

Honestly, this may be the weakest finale performance night I think we’ve seen since season 5.  I think almost everyone did worse in the “judges’ choice” round than they did the first time; only one freestyle really wowed me, and the rest ranged from “eh, ok” to “WTF???” Oddly enough, the only dance I found myself really enjoying was the cha cha relay – seemed like everyone just let loose and had fun with it.  I think the judges made their agenda quite clear tonight, and I know I can’t be the only one that’s a little suspicious that the online voting is down on finale night FOR THE SECOND SEASON IN A ROW.  No excuses, Muppets – you should have had it sorted out by now so that this type of thing doesn’t happen.  Curious to me that you haven’t (or chose not to) worked out the kinks yet.  Hmmm…but anyway, let’s start in reverse order, shall we?

4th Place: Jacoby & Karina

Poor Jacoby…he just really seemed to fall apart tonight, and it’s sad because 3 weeks ago I would have said that he had the MBT in the bag.  Now, thanks to the machinations of TPTB, I think the poor guy is just suffering from a major case of burnout and just broke down tonight.  While I agree that his judges’ choice jive was slightly better from a technical standpoint, I still prefer the first iteration – because it was SO DAMN FUN.  Jacoby looked downright miserable doing this one – like he was so focused on getting the technique right that he forgot to enjoy himself…and that was really the appeal of Jacoby’s dancing all season: he just looked like he was having so damn much fun.  Was a 27 rather kind? In the great scheme of things, probably; but since the judges were handing out 30’s like Oprah again tonight, I think 27 was relatively fair.  I actually found myself enjoying he & Karina’s portion of the cha cha relay most – and I don’t think anyone can really disagree that they had the best ending transition ;-) The slide through Aly & Mark was pure genius and totally Jacoby :-) And speaking of “being totally Jacoby” – I actually liked his freestyle, and wasn’t expecting some of the incredulous responses I was getting on Twitter when I *gasp!* said I enjoyed it.  “But Courtney, it was SO MESSY!!!!” Was it messy? Yes.  I saw the exact same routine you guys did, and I’m fully aware when something is messy.  But at the same time, I think there’s more to a good freestyle than clean footwork and execution – there’s also HEART, and staying true to who you are.  And while some of you may have balked at his freestyle as if it were the 2nd coming of the Marie Osmond doll freestyle (it wasn’t THAT bad, guys), I applauded him for sticking to his roots and sending a dance love letter to New Orleans…that routine was NOLA & Jacoby FOR DAYS.  The band, the stepping, the tapping – I think he perfectly captured the dance culture of the Big Easy, while also dancing a routine that felt like something he’d do.  He didn’t try and act like something he’s not (unlike a certain other couple…), he didn’t pick some random theme that he had no connection to – Jacoby did Jacoby, and I dug it.  And he seemed to enjoy himself, which is why I’ve been a fan all season.  But, thanks to the judges, who have given Aly a pretty comfortable cushion, I don’t think Jacoby can really hope for any better than 4th place tomorrow.  He may, by the “grace of god” (as he put it), somehow bump Aly and take 3rd, but I’m not feeling optimistic. But I’m glad he made it to the finale, and got to dance for his hometown :-) Read more..

May 20, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 16, Week 8 – Power Rankings

Well, this is probably going to be a pretty short ranking, because besides nursing a killer migraine…tonight just kind of sucked.

Ballroom round? Too short, and pretty ho-hum.  Trio round? Only one real standout, a couple that were so-so, and the rest were fails.  And of course, Len continues to be a horrible human being.  I miss Andy more than I thought :-( Let’s get this over with…

1.) Zendaya & Val – First off, I probably would have picked a different song for their foxtrot – the fact that it’s a capella made it feel a bit thin & boring.  On top of that, it seemed like it took a little too long to get into the dance, and what I saw, while pleasant to watch, didn’t really excite me.  As for their salsa trio – where was the salsa? I saw a lot of vaguely hip-hoppy stuff and a lot of side-by-side actions, but very little interaction between Zendaya herself and the two guys she was supposed to be dancing with.  And I generally just found some of the choreography to be a bit odd – once again, rather stop-and-go.  It wasn’t a bad dance, per se, but I would dispute the fact that it was a salsa and call attention to the fact that the bulk of it was done individually, as opposed to in couples.  Hell, salsa’s even one of the easier dances to do with 3 people…would it really have been that hard to do a bit more work in-hold? Oh well…they’ve got a 58, so they don’t even have to worry about it…

2.) Kellie & Derek – I feel like they were the only couple tonight that really put a ton of thought into both of their performances, and even figured out a clever way to link the two together.  The Viennese waltz was very pretty, though I would have liked a little bit more of it to be in-hold, because Kellie can handle it; the paso trio was the only dance that really stuck out in my mind tonight, because it was so exciting to watch and it was the only one that actually seemed to work WITH the props they chose, as opposed to just having them there (like several other couples).  Len’s score AND his comment to Bruno about having “something up his ass”? Uncalled for, inappropriate, and I’m just done with that SOB.  If Fox can issue an apology for Steve Tyler’s behavior on Idol, then they can certainly issue one for Len’s behavior on DWTS.  Dude is seriously crossing the line.

3.) Aly & Mark – Man, they’re REALLY trying to make Aly “happen”, aren’t they? Yes, she has grown – somewhat – in her time on DWTS, but I still find her a bit underwhelming to watch.  I actually agreed with (ack) Carrie Ann about her Argentine tango – for as acrobatic & flexible as Aly is, her leg lines seemed a little…weak.  I don’t think it was 29-worthy – maybe 27-worthy.  As for the jive trio – it wasn’t bad, but it was just so BLAND.  Part of it was Aly, but I really just found the choreography to be a bit blah as well – Mark seemed to be erring on the side of safe again.  I have to wonder if she’s not getting the votes – because they seem to be scoring her awfully kindly these days.

4.) Jacoby & Karina – The Viennese waltz was better than I expected, though not his best dance.  Liked the drama of it, but I thought it could be a bit neater.  Actually enjoyed their paso trio with Cheryl, but I feel like the only real problem seemed to be that there was just so much choreography jam-packed into that routine that Jacoby got a little distracted…which could explain why he just kind of flung Cheryl off to the side.  I think they just got so caught up trying to show everything that Jacoby was capable of doing that they may have overwhelmed him.  But overall, I thought he did pretty well with both of his dances tonight…let’s hope that translates into safety.  Not sure what to think after he ended up in jeopardy last week…

5.) Ingo & Kym – Eee gad…this partnership really kind of imploded this week, didn’t it? Kym seems like she’s at her wits end, and Ingo got really, really whiny this time around – that package did not do them any favors.  For all the fussing that they were doing, I think their foxtrot turned out halfway-ok…it was definitely better than Sean’s tango, despite a few little stutters.  The jive trio was basically a dud – you could tell the ladies did everything they could to ensure that Ingo was moving as minimally as possible during that dance, as they did most of the heavy-duty dancing; there was also a rather prolonged entry & exit, perhaps to cut back on the time that Ingo was actually dancing.  I think they’re definitely bottom 2 fodder tomorrow night, and might even end up going home.  They’re just getting hard to watch…

6.) Sean & Peta – Well, I think Sean is probably the weakest dancer left, and I think the judges made clear that it’s Sean they want gone tomorrow night.  The tango felt stompy & awkward, and I could tell that Peta was doing a good deal of backleading in that one.  Jazz trio? Despite having Sharna there to at least offer up some good advice, I think Sean’s trio was probably the biggest fail of the evening.  Like Ingo’s trio, it seemed like they tried to put the ladies front & center whenever they could, and had them doing most of the real moving…although I feel like there was even less actual dancing in this dance than Ingo’s, and Sean was even more awkward attempting some of the jazz steps than Ingo was with the jive steps.  I was pretty much done with Shawn a few weeks ago, and I’m definitely ready to see him go now…the question is: will it be him, or Ingo?

So was anyone else let down by this week’s dances? Go ahead and sound off, I need to lie down…

May 6, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS 16, Week 7 – Power Rankings

Well that was a craptastic (and trippy, and nonsensical) evening.

Seriously, powers that be, trash the Latin night theme, because it just feels clichéd and ridiculous now.  And dammit, if tonight were a poker game, TPTB would have been the poker rookie that was giggling and smirking like the cat that ate the canary, betting too high, too soon, and then falling out of your chair and inadvertently showing me your royal flush as you flailed – yeah, it was pretty obvious who you wanted to stay and who you wanted to backdoor.  And the immunity dance? We already knew that was a turd wrapped in tinfoil, but thank you for actually confirming it.  Let’s get down to it so I can take an Ambien and forget today ever happened…

1.) Kellie & Derek – A bit of a gimme, considering they won immunity and can’t be sent home tomorrow – and to be honest, that samba was not Kellie’s best dance, nor do I think it was 10-worthy (but then again, I don’t think any of the 10’s we saw tonight were truly deserved).  The technique was there – she handled the samba runs, stationary walks, and rolls without any issues, and she stayed on-time.  But I’m guessing that Derek was maybe feeling the weight of having to practice 4 dances with Kellie this week, because it probably wasn’t his most inspired piece of choreography – aside from the clever little slo-mo section in the middle, it got a bit repetitive…Derek sure does love those counter-clockwise torso gyrations, side-by-side :-P Tonight may as well have been “Pssst…your tic is showing” night for some of the pros…but we’ll get to that later.  As for Kellie – she kept up, but I do agree that she wasn’t quite “there” for the whole dance…maybe it was nerves, or just trying too hard to remember her steps.  But if this was her “off” week and she still got the high score AND immunity, I doubt she or Derek is losing sleep over it ;-)

2.) Zendaya & Val – Get ready, because pigs may start flying: I actually think Zendaya was underscored, especially given that Jacoby got the same score for a dance that was, by comparison, rather messy.  HOWEVER, that’s not to say it was 10-worthy, either – I guess if they were gonna give Zendaya a 27, then Jacoby should have gotten a 25.  And tonight, I think Val’s “tic” was also on display: as I mentioned last week, he has a real affinity for what I call “dead space” – pauses in the dance that are meant to add dramatic effect, but inadvertently end up looking like the dancers just standing there doing nothing, and it kind of slows down the momentum of a dance and gets a bit…boring.  There also seemed to be quite a lot of separate flamenco-style moves, as opposed to them moving as a couple, which was odd – I think he had the right music & the right set-up, and the right partner for a really dynamic, dramatic dance…but he may have blown it a bit on the choreography.  Not sure what judge said it, but the only real problem Zendaya had was kind of over-tucking (?) her chin in an effort to look dramatic – it’s kind of a rookie paso mistake, just like freakishly looking at the ceiling in tango is a rookie mistake. Val was probably wise to obscure her legs, which continue to be a problem, as evidenced by her jive tonight…and what was with the sneakers??? She didn’t wear sneakers for her first jive…why wear them now? As for them picking Jacoby & Karina for the immunity challenge – I have two theories: one, they were out to prove something; or two, they were told who to pick by someone higher up, which actually wouldn’t surprise me, given how much funny business there was tonight.  I daresay their jive matchup with Jacoby & Karina was the only exciting one tonight.  I don’t see them going home this week, but I’m curious to see what the next few weeks leading up to the finale bring – especially since Zen has already burned through every Latin dance except the one most obviously awkward for her: the rumba. 

3.) Aly & Mark – Did Aly go for it in her salsa? Yes.  Was it fun? Sure.  Was it 10-worthy? Hell no.  If we’re going to call Jacoby out for a  salsa that was basically fluff, and just a bunch of gyrating, then we’ve got to call Aly & Mark (or mainly just Mark) out for it, too.  Hell, for the first 20 seconds or so, I thought I had just heard wrong, because it felt more like a merengue or a samba than a salsa – awful lot of bouncing going on.  A lot of shimmying, too – and the crawling on the floor? Errr…I guess it was…cute? I’m not even sure how to describe it.  Lots of fun, yes, but it was a salsa only in name, really.  Then here they come, picking the obvious “gimme” in the immunity dance – Andy.  In Mark’s defense, though, I think anyone picking Andy probably would have looked like a bit of an asshole – I love the guy, but I have no disillusions about him being the weakest dancer left.  That said – I still think they could have picked either Sean or Ingo and still won their matchup, and left the remainder to go up against Andy.  But here’s the strange thing about their immunity cha-cha: was it just me, or was Mark obscuring our view of Aly for quite a bit of it? Yes, we’ve long said there are Muppets running the show, but this even looked like a pretty rookie mistake for the cameramen to make.  I still doubt Andy would have won even if our view of her was unobscured, but it just bugs.  Anyway, I doubt they’re going anywhere, since they topped the leaderboard in a week where the bottom is pretty damn far away…

4.) Jacoby & Karina – Yes, I acknowledge that a 27 was probably a point or two too high for this salsa – while it was very fun and Jacoby actually handles some of the more intricate steps pretty well, the overall feel was a bit chaotic.  Side effect of losing a full day of practice? Who knows – but Jacoby does best all of the other guys still left when it comes to doing lifts.  As for the immunity dance – Heidi tweeted and asked “Why the hell did Jacoby chose jive??? He could have won with rumba!!!” and the only good answer I have is that Jacoby just really, really loves his jive…and loves the audience response he gets from it :-P I’m starting to get the feeling that he is not as hungry for the MBT, so much as he is hungry for just a lot of fun (and there’s nothing wrong with that!)…and while I would love to see him walk away with that trophy on finale night, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s determined enough to really put in the effort to get up to Kellie & Zendaya’s level, technically.  Time will tell :-)

5.) Sean & Peta – All I really remember from both of the rumbas he did tonight was Peta’s choreography tic: slow, slow, FLAIL!, slow, kick your leg up, FLAIL! FLAIL! FLAIL! Aaaaand slow, dramatic arm extension.  Seriously, watch her rumbas (and Sean’s Viennese waltz) – she will do 3-4 sections of slow moves, punctuated by 2-3 really fast, choppy, overdramatic moves.  I guess you can call it “guerrilla rumba” – just when you least expect it, BLAM! Dramatic arm in your face :-P I will say this, though – I think Sean did a better job of actually moving around than Ingo did, and while Peta did do a lot of dancing around him, it wasn’t quite as obvious as it was with Ingo & Kym.  But calm down there, killer – Sean about flung Peta into the audience on that spin-turned-lift.  I would say his immunity rumba with Ingo was probably the most evenly-matched of the night, but it wasn’t particularly exciting – wasn’t terribly invested in either guy.  But I was a bit surprised that they gave that one to Ingo – was sure they would fall for the drama & faux-passion of Sean’s rumba AGAIN.  Which kind of begs the question for me: did they deliberately leave things pretty even between the two ABC guys? I think it could be almost a toss-up between the two of them in the bottom 2, but my gut is telling me Sean might be safe this week (blech).  I’d love to be wrong, and I’d love for him to go home – because as someone here put it, he’s like Willard from Footloose – except he’s not really that charming. 

6.) Ingo & Kym – Well, I give props to Kym for looking hotter tonight than she has all season – I think she was probably wise to pull out the blood red fabric and show some leg…and abs…and awesome boobage tonight, on a night where Ingo’s rumba just kind of fell flat.  I feel like I say this every week: Ingo seems to try really, really hard, but it just never seems to translate into significant results on the dance floor…especially in the Latin dances, where he just has super-stiff hips.  But in contrast to Sean, who seems to benefit from a lot of smoke & mirrors and flash & trash from Peta’s choreography, I do feel like Ingo actually TRIES to get the right technique…so I have to applaud that.  His rumba, while awkward, thankfully didn’t feel as contrived and phony as Sean & Peta’s.  But again – why switch gears and give the immunity dance to Ingo & Kym, when both guys basically did the same routine again, and Sean scored higher the first time around??? I’m not particularly invested in either guy, but it’s just yet another thing that happened tonight that seemed…off.  But anyway – I’m thinking Ingo might take a spill into the bottom 2 tomorrow night, although I’d love for it to be Sean instead.  He hasn’t been there – yet – but I have to wonder if his jeopardy appearance a few weeks back was a warning.

7.) Andy & Sharna – First of all, can I just say how much it gave me warm fuzzies to see some of the Kellie fans throwing their votes to Andy after it was announced that Kellie got immunity? :-D Restores my faith in humanity a bit, which I really needed after a sh*t day at work, and an even sh*ttier time watching tonight’s show – I’m not a particularly vengeful person, but I’m getting to the point where I’m hoping karma bites the judges in the ass.  Carrie Ann’s weave gets horribly knotted & the paps get a pic of it looking nasty, Bruno’s Maserati gets a BIIIIG ol’ scratch right down the side of it, Len gets a bad batch of Marmite and ends up with food poisoning – because these three stooges have reached a whole new level of LOW with some of the comments they threw at Andy.  We get it, judges, Andy’s the weakest dancer left and he gots ta go – but jeez, way to rub both lemon juice & salt in the poor guy’s wounds.  As non-technical as this rumba may have been, it was clever, and it played to Andy’s strengths as a performer – and you can’t deny that it was kinda cute and fun to watch.  So there was no need for comments like Bruno’s, where he wished he “could forget that dance”.  Pssssh…I wish I could forget your leathery-ass face, Bruno, but I don’t say it out loud…until now.  ;-) And I have to wonder if Andy may have been better off picking the jive as their immunity dance, because while his rumba wasn’t good – his first cha-cha wasn’t, either.  But anyway – I think they got pretty hosed with their score, and didn’t manage to scoop up any points in the immunity round, so barring a miracle (and I like to believe in miracles!), I think Andy is toast tomorrow – but once again, I’d love to be wrong.  Andy just makes me smile so much :-D

 So were you guys as disenchanted with Latin night as I was? And what did you think of the immunity dances?

April 29, 2013 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at pureamericasgottalent.com!

DWTS Season 16, Week 6 – Dancing by the Numbers

Such a weird night. First, they yank out the tens for one of Zendaya’s worst dances….it’s almost like they knew that Team Paso was gonna suck kinda hard. Then, Carrie Ann refuses to give up a 10 to Kellie and Derek, claiming that there was space between them, yet totally failing to note Zendaya’s again bad legs. They then totally hose Andy (and Len continues to be excessively mean to him), while being kind to Victor, who had a worse dance than Andy’s.

Weirdest of all – on paper, Team Paso should have had that dance in the bag. So, did they get over confident? Think they could skate by on bare chests (didn’t the same pros fail at that last season as well?)?? What?? I guess this just goes to show that if you are the weaker team and you have to be MORE creative in order to get past your weak dancers, you just DO.

It will be really funny when the team dance that sucked eggs (and looked like the poor man’s version of Derek/Brooke’s team paso at the end) wins the encore. LOL. Yeeeaaah. :-D

Anyway, how did our dancers do??

week 6

So…Victor is in deep doo doo. It will take a bit of a miracle to save him at this point. What does he need to get to be safe? Victor needs ONE of the following things to happen:

–        Victor needs 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than Andy, OR;

–        Victor needs 13,300 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

–        Victor needs 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than EITHER Ingo or Sean, OR;

–        Victor needs 29,200 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Victor needs 32,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Victor needs 37,200 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Frankly, I don’t believe Victor gets any of those margins. His best bet is Andy and Andy was low scorer last week but was NOT in the bottom two. Victor, on the other hand, had two people below him in terms of score, but was still in the bottom two. Not looking good for Victor. At all.

But let’s say that Victor manages to pass someone. Andy is next in line in terms of judges score. What does Andy need to have happen in order to be safe? He needs ONE of the following:

–        Andy needs for Victor to NOT get 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Andy needs 5,350 more votes per million votes cast than Jacoby, OR;

–        Andy needs 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than EITHER Ingo or Sean, OR;

–        Andy needs 21,300 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Andy needs 24,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Andy needs 29,200 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Now, I don’t think Victor is getting the 8k he needs…and I would be willing to bet that Andy is getting 8k more than Ingo. I just think that Ingo has worn out his welcome. But he was put in jeopardy last week and sometimes a guy gets a bounce after that happens. Will Ingo?? I dunno. My gut is saying no. I think, based largely on his bromance with Tristan and how funny he was about that, Sean is likely safe this week.  I think it will come down to Victor, Ingo and Andy.

What does Ingo (or Sean) need to have happen in order to be safe?? Ingo (or Sean) needs ONE of the following things to happen:

–        Ingo needs for Victor to not get the 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs for Andy  to not get the 8,000 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs for Jacoby to NOT get the 2,700 more votes per million votes cast than him, OR;

–        Ingo needs to get ONE more vote per million votes cast than Sean, OR;

–        Ingo needs 13,300 more votes per million votes cast than Zendaya, OR;

–        Ingo needs 16,000 more votes per million votes cast than Aly, OR;

–        Ingo needs 21,300 more votes per million votes cast than Kellie.

Okay, so based on all of the above, I think the following happens:

–        Ingo and Sean aren’t touching Jacoby and he’s safe, easily getting 2,700 more votes per million votes cast than each of them;

–        Andy gets 8k more than Ingo and Victor can’t catch him and is, therefore, safe;

–        Ingo is getting beat by Sean, Jacoby and Andy, but there is no way that Victor is getting 16k more votes per million votes cast….

–        Therefore, Victor goes home.

Seems like a simple math problem this week, but I could be wrong. I was starting to wonder if perhaps Zendaya wasn’t getting the votes, as badly as they overscored her Cha Cha, but I’m also wondering if they put her just far enough down to be safe while rallying her fans to vote like the little maniacs they are.

Doesn’t matter, IMO.  I think it will either be Victor and Ingo or Victor and Andy in the bottom two and Victor will go home.

I’m saying it will be Victor and Ingo in the bottom two and Victor goes home.

April 23, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 16, Week 5 – Who Got the Boot? (SPOILERS)

Fantastic opening number by Mark and Derek!! Very different…and pretty weird. Courtney and I think Emmy nomination. Provided that the outside choreographer (Stacey Tookey this time) doesn’t steal it again.

Did Selena think she was dancing?? Just asking. :-) Tom pimped Sean and Catherine’s wedding…but it was a set up for a joke so I forgive him. ;-)  I have to say, I was getting lots of chuckles from Sean tonight. I’m starting to appreciate his sense of humor. And he likes Tristan so he can’t be all bad. :-)  Val also gets points for funnies. More on that in the Cheese I’m sure. ;-)

I was starting to regret not going with my gut when Ingo was put in jeopardy, right?? Anyway, Victor and DL were the bottom two and DL’s time finally ran out.

How did we all do??

Heidi: I was hoping for DL but figured it would be either Andy or Victor. My gut was telling me Ingo and Victor in the bottom 2. So close…

Courtney: Court said Victor was toast, with DL second from the bottom.

Vogue: Said Victor and DL in the bottom two, with Victor going home.

Winner? The whole audience…and me and Court were both pretty close. Vogue was too, really.  I need to start listening to my gut more and not waffle – I said that I felt like Andy was pulling himself out of jeopardy. So happy to be right on that one!!

ETA: By popular request: Mark and Derek’s opening pro dance – great!!


DWTS Week 5 Pro Dance Apr 16, 2013 by dm_513cce58b3581

April 16, 2013 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 16, Week 5 – Dancing by the Numbers

Okay, that turned out somewhat better than expected. For all the pimping of Maks, he ended up being a non-event – for me, anyway.  It’s rather odd, actually. I guess when you have nothing better to pimp, pimp one of the pro dancers who’s known for being a “bad boy” who’s not on this season. Ummmm…okay. I guess TPTB are just pandering to one group or another all the damn time. For those extremist Maks fans who read this site just so they can complain about us (yeah, it makes no sense to me either), the ratings were up LAST week, so if they are up again this week? Get over yourselves…it’s a trend, not an aberration. Reminds me of the Twihards who claimed they were tanking the MTV Awards this year by not watching…and they were actually UP significantly. Don’t jack with numbers, man. :-)

Mah goodness, my favorites of the night were Jacoby and Kellie – fantastic. Loved it. Zendaya is being soured for me by the pimping…and seriously? The bent legs, the instability coming out of the turns…if this girl were dancing with Derek she’d be getting hosed for being a ringer. And we’d be getting trolls out the wazoo.  But since she’s dancing with Val she essentially has rainbows shooting out her ass.  The girl is a good dancer, yes. And I like her as a person. But I have to tell you, I’m seeing a LOT of people in the comments here and on twitter who are getting REALLY good at predicting exactly what will happen. Up for 2 weeks, down for two weeks…to come roaring back to get two tens. Hello – we’ve seen this storyboarding before.  I expect someone else will get a perfect 30 next week – either Aly or Kellie, most likely. Because we have to keep it a horse race at all costs, so it can’t be Zendaya. And, as predicted, Zendaya and Val get the encore.

In the “credit where credit is due” department – Kick ass opening dance, Lacey Schwimmer!! Excellent. Loved it. Girlfriend has been honing her group choreo skills over there in Vegas and it’s paid off.  MUCH better job than Sharna did last week on the women’s number, although Lacey has the benefit of time and no celeb partner. And Sharna is doing great with Andy.

Anyway….how did our dancers do?? Read more..

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)