YAY! The official cast photos came out yesterday! And what better way to bring our series back from a two-week hiatus than to give you a fun, creative way to check out this season’s couples in costume? 😉 And as a bonus – this one’s an extra long edition! ENJOY! 😀 Read more..
So apparently I might be onto something with my typecasting theories, because it seems like a lot of you are also trying to deduce from the absolutely CRAZY amount of rumors flying around who might be fulfilling each type…and honestly, at this point, I have no clue what to believe 😛 But that’s the fun of DWTS, right?
If the majority of what’s being reported is true (doubtful), then it looks to me like they might actually skip some types this season (haven’t heard any major reports about soap stars or hosts); but if they’re leaking only a few actual celeb participants and the rest are red herrings, then we might get few suprises thrown in and have a more “well-rounded” cast. But enough general speculation – on with the rest of the types!
The Teen Idol
Previous examples: Joey McIntyre, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Lance Bass, Mel B., Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Cody Linley, Sabrina Bryan, Mario Lopez
Advantages: If sales of Tiger Beat are any indicator, the teenyboppers will come out in full force to support their favorite heartthrobs/idols. Being young & good-lookin’ sure doesn’t hurt! Many also have the added advantage of having a decent dance background, especially if they were part of a musical act.
Disadvantages: Youth can also have its disadvantages – as in immaturity. What some might call “youthful exuberance”, others might call “immaturity” or “attention deficit disorder” – poor Cody Linley had a hard time sitting still! Emotional immaturity (a la Aaron Carter’s post-rumba meltdown in the confessional) can be especially off-putting.
Possible candidates this season: Looks like Brandy is our best guess.
Previous examples: Jerry Springer, Brooke Burke, Leeza Gibbons, Mario Lopez, Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rinna, Tucker Carlson, Mark Dacascos, Rocco DiSpirito, Erin Andrews
Advantages: Being that they’ve been at the helm of their own shows, these guys usually have the media savvy & charisma to appeal to the masses, as well as the previous exposure & recognizability. Most (not all!) are also decently attractive, which never seems to hurt (unless, of course, you’re a model – see previous post for explanation).
Disadvantages: Many hosts are only used to hosting – as in just sitting down & talking (or dodging the occasional punch, if you’re Springer), so the lack of movement experience problem seems to come into play.
Possible candidates this season: Chris Jericho also hosts some show on NBC, so I guess he could do double-duty and fulfill the role of both the athlete and the host.
Previous examples: John O’Hurley, Melissa Joan Hart, Steve Guttenburg, John Ratzenberger, Debi Mazar, Denise Richards, Ted McGinley, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennie Garth, Vivica Fox, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Shannen Doherty
Advantages: Being that their bread & butter is acting, most can usually nail the emotions of the dances. Bonus points if they’ve done any Broadway (like Winokur) because they have likely had dance experience.
Disadvantages: For lack of a better term, many of them seem to be “has-beens” – actors that haven’t been particularly active in the mainstream in the past several years – or were never that big to begin with (can anyone else think of anything John O’Hurley has been in BESIDES Seinfeld?), making it harder for them to garner votes from a public who may not remember them.
Possible Candidates this season: This one has blown up big within the last few days – we’ve got David Hasselhoff, Jennifer Grey, & Florence Henderson (who could also be considered a “legend”) now on our radar. There’s been a campaign for Bern Nadette Stanis, as well as one for Leslie Jordan that he himself is heading up. Also a minor campaign for Melissa Peterman.
The Reality Star
Previous examples: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Rycroft, Steve-O, Holly Madison, Trista Sutter, Shanna Moakler, Kate Gosselin, Jake Pavelka
Advantages: Many have achieved pop culture icon status on their respective reality outlets, making them fairly recognizable.
Disadvantages: They may be memorable for the wrong reasons – people tended to remember things like Kim Kardashian’s sex tape more than her reality show, and people seemed more focused on Holly Madison’s split from Hef than her antics on The Girls Next Door. Many can also come across as attention-hungry & talentless – reality TV is often looked down upon as a way to get famous without having any talent whatsoever.
Possible candidates this season: Oy vey – this is the subtype that has had, by far, the greatest amount of casting rumors…everyone from The Situation to Teresa Giudice to both Ali Fedotowsky & fiancée Roberto Martinez, to Audrina Patridge, but it’s hard to tell who’s got a legit chance and who’s bluffing. Personally, I’m still holding out for Sig Hansen 😉
Previous examples: Mya, Billy Ray Cyrus, Mario, Belinda Carlisle, Master P, Chuck Wicks, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Toni Braxton, Macy Gray, Nicole Scherzinger
Advantages: As with the teen idols, many have had dance experience concurrent with their music careers.
Disadvantages: Most seem to be committed solely to one genre of music (often R&B or country), making it hard to appeal to a wide fanbase.
Possible candidates this season: Most obvious choice? Michael Bolton. But in the same token, you could also have Brandy and/or David Hasselhoff fulfilling this role if they’re trying to kill 2 birds with one stone. The Xzibit rumor is still lingering slightly, and Pete Wentz fans are still holding out hope.
The Wild Card
Previous examples: Heather Mills, Tom DeLay, Mark Cuban, Steve Wozniak, Priscilla Presley, Buzz Aldrin
Advantages: The sheer novelty of having someone with such an off-the-beaten-path claim to fame (famous divorcee/widow, entrepreneur, disgraced politician, etc.) may be enough to have the public voting them – just to see what happens. Being the “underdog” is a powerful thing!
Disadvantages: Due to their often dubious fame, people just may not have any clue who they are – I personally had to Google Mark Cuban’s name.
Possible candidates this season: Can it get much wild card-ier than Bristol Palin?! Good grief…still trying to wrap my brain around how they’re going to try and spin her claim to fame…
…and the fun continues! Alright fashion critics, have at it 😉
On a side note, we have to give a very special thanks to our friend Marcela, who frequents this site all the way from Brazil! Marcela was kind enough to share with us many dittoes that she had found, and even sent us side-by-side pictures of them. Marcela, here’s a big “Obrigado!” from all of us here at Pure DWTS…you rock! 😀
Battle of the black & white floral-print ballgown: Brooke’s quickstep with Derek in season 7 vs. Cheryl in the pro dance to Michael Buble in season 9
Courtney: Hmmmm. I’m not hugely fond of this dress, so I think it’s making it hard for me to figure out who it looks better on. I think it probably suits Brooke’s body a bit better (surprise, surprise…that woman could make a burlap sack look good!), but I’m not a fan of the severely pulled-back side bun hair they gave her. I think it doesn’t suit Cheryl’s body quite as well, but I think her loose, carefree hair & hoop earrings better suit the breezy feel of the dress. I dunno…I’m defaulting to Heidi.
Heidi: Does liking Brooke’s partner better count?? 🙂 Seriously though, look at both of the men – I think you’ll note that the men’s outfits match the hairstyles on the ladies. They made Brooke much more formal, to complement Derek’s dinner jacket and bow tie and slick hair, whereas Cheryl’s hair is more loose and flowy which compliments Jonathan’s lack of jacket and undone bow tie. BOTH couples are very finished, for what they are trying to portray.
The winner: Have to call it a draw for two complete ensembles – men included. 😉
Battle of the gold-fringe Latin dress: Chelsie’s salsa with Ty in season 8 vs. Nicole’s jive with Derek in the season 10 finale
Heidi: Derek and Nicole’s Jive was just fan-flippin-tastic – and that includes seriously rocking that dress. Chelsie might be too sweet to be that fierce. And that ain’t no jive talkin’. 😉
Courtney: Now as fierce as both these ladies look in this sparkler, I’ve gotten give it to Nicole – she just slightly out-fierces Chelsie with that fabulous hair flip. That jive was seriously awesome – and Tina herself sure knows how to rock a gold fringe dress!
The winner: Nicole, by a Tina Turner ‘tude
Battle of the hot pink, cut-out ballgown with matching gloves: Kym’s foxtrot with David in season 8 vs. Melissa’s preseason photo shoot with Mark in season 9
Courtney: This gown is just adorable – reminds me so much of Marilyn Monroe’s dress in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes…which is why I think it looks so cute on both of these lovely blonde ladies 😉 Love Melissa’s 40’s-esque finger waves, but I also love Kym’s tighter curls. In the end, though, I just have to give this one to Kym – while I don’t particularly remember David well that season (except for his rather embarrassing exit speech), I do remember Kym just working it in this foxtrot, and this dress just sparkling away as she moved. Therefore, I must give this one to our favorite Aussie blonde 😀
Heidi: They both do look awesome. But when you mention Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, it made me think of Marlee Matalin’s dance with Derek, Mark, Fabian Sanchez and Genya Mazo and I ran to check the video. Nah. Not the same dress as Marlee. 😉 ANYway, I have to give it to Kym too – that body is hard to beat and I just like her personality better anyway.
The winner: Kym, for being the Aussie answer to Marilyn herself!
Battle of the itty-bitty, coral one-sleeve Latin dress: Edyta’s cha-cha with Jason in season 6 vs. Julianne’s pro dance with Derek to Jennifer Hudson in season 7
Heidi: That Julianne had the guts to wear a dress AFTER Edyta wore it – well, I have to hand it to her. Girl is brave. Of course she works it just as well as Edyta, so why not? I like it better with Julianne’s coloring, I think.
Courtney: This has got to be one of the TINIEST costumes I’ve ever seen on the show – and that’s saying something, considering that Edyta is, to quote Lawrence Taylor “allergic to clothes”, hehe. Not that I blame Edyta at all – as I’ve said before, if I had a body that fabulous, you’d have to put me in a nudist colony, because I would be naked ALL THE TIME. However, this dress looks too much to me like many of the others Edyta has worn, while the look is a little more surprising on Julianne – the coral looks surprisingly flattering on her. So kudos to Julianne for out-Edytaing Edyta!
The winner: Julianne for bravery. 😉
Battle of the yellow & orange overdye Latin dress: Julianne’s salsa with Cody in season 7 vs. Lisa’s quickstep with Mayo in the new pro contest in season 8
Courtney: I found it very, very strange that they opted to put Lisa in a Latin dress to do a quickstep – I guess they were trying to fit the whole “Walking on Sunshine” theme with the colors of the dress. But it just looks so mismatched up to Mayo – he’s so covered & dark and she’s so…bare. And I hate that shaggy haircut of hers – I feel like it totally obscures her face. Now Julianne, on the other hand, is just an absolute delight in this dress – can you believe this was only about a week after her appendectomy?!
Heidi: Girlfriend did one hell of a jive with Derek a week after her appendectomy, so yes, I can believe it. 😉 This one is kind of a toss up for me – Lisa cut off the tail of the dress and the colors look better with her tan, but her hair and her overinflated lips get me every time. Love Julianne, but she added a huge flower up near the shoulder that I can’t get behind, plus it took me a minute or two to figure out that the tail of the dress was wrapped around her right leg. Don’t know what she’s got around her left ankle. Anyway, I guess I find the flower and the tail less egregious than the hair and the lips. 😉
The winner: Julianne, for normal lips.
Battle of the fringed, zebra-print Latin dress: Mel B’s jive with Maks in season 5 vs. Lacey’s preseason photo shoot in season 7
Heidi: I kind of find this dress awful. And Lacey didn’t follow the “take one thing off” rule before she left the house. 😉 That said, I like it better on her because of the gloves and the red hair. Add in that I am SO NOT a Mel fan and well….Lacey wins. 😉
Courtney: Another dress I just don’t particularly care for – looks like something off the sale rack at Wet Seal. However, I do think it fits both ladies’ feisty personalities well. I guess I’ll go with Lacey – the streaks of red in her hair offer a nice pop of color to offset the black & white in the dress.
The winner: Lacey…just barely. This dress sucks.
Battle of the red, cut-out, ruffly Latin dress: Shannon’s mambo with Derek in season 6 vs. Kym’s preseason photo shoot in season 7
Courtney: Wow, this batch is really a mixed bag for me – I’m either loving or hating these dresses. This, unfortunately falls into the latter category – BLECH. Am I the only one that thought that Shannon looked terribly awkward in almost every costume they put her in? Aggghhh, and that hair – looks like they were trying to style it like her ex-husband’s (look him up – Joe Reitman. Eek!) Kym does a decent job of making a crappy dress look acceptable, so I’ll go with her.
Heidi: I think Shannon WAS awkward in a lot of the dresses. This one is funny because she had lots of padding in the bra AND in the butt, and she wasn’t afraid to tell EVERYONE. It made all the media that week very entertaining, especially when Derek is pulling down the back of her dress to show reporters and she then proceeds to rip his shirt open. And to think they tried to tell people they were just friends. Um, right. 😉 I also have to give it up to Derek for once again attempting a camouflage (with all those ruffles) a lack of hip action. Despite me enjoying this dress on Shannon for all the backstage reasons, it’s pretty clear that Kym just wears it better. The confidence will get you every time. I bet Kym didn’t need the padding either. 😉
The winner: Duh, Kym! Even though this dress sucks too. 😉
Season after season, celeb after celeb, it’s always interesting to see what kind of mixed bag each cast turns out to be. Athletes, actors, comedians, models…it’s the variety of stars the show pulls in that makes things really interesting!
But, as amazing an opportunity as the show might be for the celebs, with certain individuals, we have to kinda wonder what exactly their motivations were to do the show…are they really there for the opportunity, or is it something else entirely?
So it got me thinking…what might be some other reasons certain stars do the show, besides “just for fun”? Read on…
Reason #1: They’re broke.
I’m sure they’d never say it publicly, but over time it’s become a bit obvious that certain celebs probably do the show to offset some cashflow problems they’ve encountered as of late. I can’t fault them – the $200K base pay for doing the show is nothing to sneeze at, and the possibility of getting another $100K on top of that if they win is just icing on the cake – especially if you’re like season 9’s Aaron Carter, who owed over a million bucks in backed taxes. No wonder the kid was crying after a mediocre rumba – he couldn’t afford to get sent home! Or maybe you’re season 10’s Kate Gosselin, who claimed that she was “just trying to support her family” by doing the show (although I don’t think she was motivated entirely by the money – there was some definitely attention whoring going on there). It’s also likely the primary reason that Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member Terese Giudice is trying so hard to get on the show – she & her husband filed for bankruptcy last year after racking up over $11 million worth of debt. Granted, the pay from doing the show probably is probably a small fraction of what these stars are used to pulling in, but it’s still more than enough for we common folk to live quite comfortably off of for a year or two…beggars can’t be choosers 😉
Reason #2: They’re doing reputation damage control.
Another less-than-savory motivation for doing the show, it’s a good idea nonetheless – what better way to distract from a recent brush with the law or sex tape scandal than to show America how charming and talented you can be on DWTS? Take Lil Kim – she was fresh out of a year-long stint in prison for perjury. And she became one of the most popular contestants on season 8! She even took it a step further and managed to speak freely about her incarceration and even poke fun at it. Season 4’s Heather Mills was likely trying to undo some the damage done during her long, messy divorce from Paul McCartney, which seemed to give her a rather nasty reputation as a vindictive gold digger. Or there was Mel B., who had just had a baby out of wedlock with Eddie Murphy. And of course, Kim Kardashian was still trying to live down her famous sex tape with Ray-J. Did the show help erase these indiscretions? Eh, some better than others. But if nothing else, it gave America something else to remember them by.
Reason #3: They’re trying to breathe life into a dead career/jump start a new career.
You know those celebs whose names you have to google at first because you have absolutely no clue who they are? They likely fall into this category: they’ve either been inactive for so long that you can’t remember them (or maybe they weren’t that famous in the first place), or they’re so new on the scene that you’ve never heard of them. Be honest: how many of you actually remembered who John O’Hurley was, without having to google him? Aside from his role as J. Peterman on Seinfeld, he really hadn’t done anything else prior to DWTS – but after the show? His career blew up. Suddenly he was being offered hosting positions, roles in musicals, voice acting opportunities – all because he did some dancing show that ended up being a hit. Ted McGinley, another actor with a waning career, tried to do the same on season 7 – albeit unsuccessfully. On the other hand, those with new careers might be inclined to do the show just to get some exposure…take Gilles Marini. Most people didn’t know his name, but they sure knew his face-er, body: he was just the “hot naked guy” in the Sex in the City movie. After a wildly successful run on DWTS, though, he was suddenly popping up everywhere – Brothers & Sisters, Nip/Tuck, Ugly Betty, Criminal Minds, you name it! Proof that if you play your cards right while on the show, the payoff will be far greater than just the money you make for doing it 😉
Reason #4: They’re generating publicity for their next big project.
Ok, so maybe they’re still famous, but they’ve been in the background for a bit and are getting ready for a “comeback” of sorts – maybe a new album, movie, TV show, etc. Getting their name out there by doing DWTS is almost a sort of “primer” – it gets their names on the lips of the American public again, so that when their latest labor of love drops, it’s just that much more well-received. Ever wonder why Macy Gray was on season 9? Well, judging from her completely apathetic attitude, I think we can all agree it wasn’t because she really wanted to learn to dance (hehe). However, she did have a new album due to come out not long after season 9 wrapped. Coincidence? Doubt it – sounds like some smart legwork by a savvy publicist. Louie Vito was only months away from competing in the winter Olympics (his first appearance there) when he did DWTS…probably didn’t hurt getting his name out there early, to help separate him from the hoards of other famous snowboarders. Even Nicole probably did DWTS to generate some hype for the upcoming PCD album (and new lineup). Again, it’s a savvy move – with DWTS’ ratings reigning supreme, the contestants become household names, which helps generate interest when they do other projects after the show.
Reason #5: They’ve got a score to settle.
Sometimes, it’s just all about sticking it to a former rival/family member/group member/etc…a sort of “bet I can make it farther than you can!” challenge. Almost all of the NFL stars that have done the show have had a sort of friendly rivalry with other former players that had done the show previously…the most well-known of these probably being the Jerry Rice vs. Michael Irvin challenge, which culminated in a face-off during the season 9 finale. Warren Sapp also sparred with ESPN commentator (and early season 2 castoff) Kenny Mayne on Sports Center. Joey Fatone also issued a challenge to fellow NSYNC group member Lance Bass to do better than he did – considering his reputation as the “worst dancer in NSYNC”, I think Lance finishing 3rd (to Joey’s 2nd) was pretty admirable! And then there’s the family rivalries – Marie Osmond vs. Donny Osmond, George Hamilton vs. Ashley Hamilton, and Lisa Rinna vs. Harry Hamlin. Nothing like a little sibling/father-son/husband-wife competition to strengthen familial bonds 😉 Aside from the friendly challenge of sticking it to a family member, there’s also the added security of getting advice from someone close who’s done the show before.
So what do you guys think? Know of any other motivations some of the celebs might have to do the show, besides “just for fun”?
Look, Courtney and I DID find something to snark on. 🙂 Not really, we just decided that it was time to put some of the wardrobe recyclers (or victims thereof) head to head to see if it’s always such a good idea. The answer is….no, not always. 🙂 On with the show…
Courtney: Hands down, Chelsie rocked this one better. She was working the skirt with every move, and I think the cut-out back really showed off her arm lines. As for Cheryl – I thought it looked too bulky on her frame and she didn’t really utilize the skirt like Chelsie did…almost seems like she was weighed down by it.
Heidi: Yeah, I don’t know why it didn’t work on Cheryl. Maybe it was the hair pulled up that put too much weight on the dress. She has a great body, it just didn’t work. Isn’t that the dance where Gilles went shirtless? That could be it too – too much contrast between the two of them.
Courtney: Yep, Gilles was indeed shirtless. With the high-waisted black dance pants and some sort of necklace. Mmmmm!
Heidi: Hold up a sec!! Seeing the pictures side by side – Chelsie had the whole front of the skirt cut out!! That removed a ton of bulk and allowed her to work the skirt better. Cheryl would have benefitted tremendously from that same cut out.
The winner: Chelsie, for workin’ that skirt for all it’s worth!
Courtney: I’m gonna go with Nicole on this one, for the simple fact that Natalie was just so meek sometimes that a lot of her costumes seemed to overwhelm her. I think it suits Nicole’s sexy, confident attitude. Both have great bodies, but Nicole’s got the vibe to go with it – along with some killer curves to fill it out a bit better than Natalie, who had more of an athletic build.
Heidi: Yeah, I’m with ya. You have to have serious attitude and confidence to pull that look off and Natalie seemed a bit afraid of it. Plus, she had all the Rumba crap attached to it that got lost when Nicole wore it – lots less material on Nicole, if you look at them side by side.
The winner: Nicole, for the ‘tude, confidence, and dangerous curves!
Heidi: Joanna had a combination of attitude, bad ass hair, and Derek as a partner, that made her pull off that outfit better. Even the picture of Derek and Joanna shows why I think she pulls it off better.
Courtney: I think Joanna was slightly more believable in this one – the hair & attitude really pulled the whole outfit together. It also seems a little bit loose on Anna – another small frame kinda overshadowed by the costume. And I just don’t see her as a rock chick.
The winner: Joanna, for her rocker attitude that matched that of her partner
Heidi: I thought Cheryl rocked this dress, but it was more the dance than the dress itself. She killed in that dance. I’m going with her and I confess it’s because she was the standout female in that dance – the still photo doesn’t do it justice.
Courtney: I say Mya, but just by a hair over Pam. I think Cheryl has to be really careful with very heavy trimmings on dresses – like the ruffles on the paso dress, I think this made her look heavier than she really is. The dress suits Pam’s smoldering attitude perfectly, but it doesn’t quite look as impressive sitting still on her as it does moving with Mya as she’s flicking and jumping in the jive – look at how it stands out. Plus it seemed to fit the flapper theme of their jive well.
The winner: For dancing, Cheryl. The actual dress? Mya by a hair.
Courtney: I feel bad for anyone who has had to wear the same costume as Edyta – with a body like hers, not many women stand a chance. She looks fantastic in this one, especially with those black boots she was rockin’. Shannon seems a little overwhelmed by it, and I don’t think it’s the best color on Kym – seems to wash her out a bit.
Heidi: Do you even need to ask? Edyta, of course.
The winner: Edyta, by a killer body
Heidi: Well, Joanna clearly has a better body, but I didn’t like this dress on her. Actually – it wasn’t the dress. You can’t underestimate how much how you wear your hair will impact the overall effect. If Joanna had had softer, romantic hair for this dress, she would win it. Hair is important!
Courtney: As much as it may pain me…I’m actually gonna go with Kate on this one. I always thought it looked way too conservative and matronly on Joanna – both qualities which make the dress more appropriate for Kate. In any other (skimpier) dress, Joanna would have had it for sure – I still wonder why, of all weeks, they chose rumba week to cover her up…and give her such old-fashioned hair. Crazy wardrobe & hair people!
Heidi: You know, the pros are generally in charge of the costuming, but when they recycle so blatantly, I wonder how much input they actually have? Derek usually does so well…then again, I wondered what the hell they were doing to Joanna hair and makeup-wise much of the season. She had some BAD makeup. Wonder if it was Joanna messing about.
The winner: Kate. By a (head full of) hair. 🙂
Courtney: This has got to be the most adorable outfit I have seen all season – it’s cute while at the same time being sexy, and the fringe moves so well in two-step spins. While I think they both look fantastic in it, I think it’s a little better suited to Chelsie…she seems like a country girl. I just have a hard time imagining a Polish bombshell with an accent as heavy as a fried pierogi as a cowgirl!
Heidi: Well, I think Chelsie pulls off “cowgirl” better than Edyta by a mile. Edyta is too sultry for the cowgirl thing, whereas it fits Chelsie to a T. But damn, look at Edyta’s body! And you see the reason why Edyta is not a cowgirl – she took at least 4 inches off an already short skirt. On the top AND the bottom. 🙂
The winner: Chelsie, for being our favorite l’il cow-girl next door
*sniff* Sorry for the delay, kids – this week’s awards were a little bittersweet for Heidi & I, since they’re the last chance we’re going to be able to nitpick & snark until September 🙁 But better late than never, eh? With 3 hours of nonstop ridiculousness to pull from this week, we definitely had a lot of material to work with – and I like to think we’ve really outdone ourselves this time 😀 So please – sit back, relax, and savor your last piece of cheesecake from season 10!
Best Impersonation of a Jersey Shore cast member: Brooke’s Snooki-inspired pouffy hair
Courtney: I can’t recall a hairstyle in the show’s history that was more talked-about than this one (not even Karina’s mullet!). Thank goodness Heidi & I weren’t the only ones that were totally distracted by Brooke’s sky-high Bump-It pouff on Monday night. And with a headband? Totally ridiculous…send her hairstylist back to Jersey, PLEASE! In fact, this pouff could have actually rivaled Snooki’s in its size…looks like J-Woww, Pauly D, and the Situation are all fist pumping under there.
Heidi: I think Voldemort was under there. Maybe that’s why she’s improved so much – he’s controlling her. 🙂
Biggest Exercise in Futility: Kate’s encore performance of her paso doble, and subsequent hustle to “I Will Survive”; (dis)honorable mention for Evan & Anna and Erin & Maks unsuccessful use of outside choreography for their freestyles
Courtney: A question for whoever had the bright idea to put Kate front & center in the opening number: did you really think she was gonna pull off the simple act of walking with a feather thingie successfully? Because she managed to botch that completely. And the paso was terrible the first time around – did we really need to relive it, as if to confirm “Yep, Kate really is a bad dancer!” The feeble hustle that ended with her being lifted up in a cherry-picker at the end? I guess we should be thankful that it was less hustle and more just Kate being lifted. At least she seemed to be having fun. And after the two mediocre freestyles from the couples that used outside assistance, I reiterate: the further you go outside of your comfort zone and into something that you’re unfamiliar with, the more clueless & uncomfortable you look. Stick with what works.
Heidi: Dude, she was downright creepy, what with the way she was “flying” and the way she was lit. Eeep!! As for the outside choreography…well, I guess I kinda understand it *in theory*, but at that point in the season the dancers know each other (and their strengths and weaknesses) so well, that it seems to me that an outsider would mess with that.
Most Interesting Double Entendre: Maks’ excuse for the mess-ups on the bed – “That wasn’t the bed we rehearsed on!”
Courtney: I still can’t decide if he said this in earnest, or deliberately threw out something saucy like this. He only dug himself further into a hole with his follow-up comment on GMA yesterday morning: “The first time we did it on the bed, she went flying off!” Oh jeebus…
Heidi: I’m tempted to make a crack about you giving Maks too much credit for superb innuendo. 🙂 But it beats me if he was earnest or not. Better was Tom’s reaction to it last night – making a big O with his arms and yelling “over sharing!!!”
Courtney: Eh, I’m leaning more towards the former – that he was just flustered and blurted it out without thinking – but Maks does have interesting ways of getting attention…maybe he actually thought of it beforehand and had it in his verbal arsenal just incase 😉
The “Denial is not just a river in Egypt” award: Nicole & Derek’s vehement denial of there being anything going on between them romantically
Courtney: Ok, first there was the armpit sniffing and gum sharing. Then the strange neck caressing. And then, after an overtly sexual rumba, they pan to Nicole’s boyfriend in the audience – and he is NOT a happy camper. And after a juicy bit of insider info that I heard a few days ago, I am almost 100% certain that SOMETHING has gone on between these two.
Heidi: You forgot that she jumped on top of him in happiness – not only that, but she was running her hand over his hair and kissing on him. More than anything it’s the hands in the hair thing and the multiple times she wrapped her legs around him. 🙂 And Derek keeps picking her up.
Biggest Accident Waiting to Happen: Erin nearly taking Maks out during the infamous jump off the stage in the their Argentine tango
Courtney: Maybe she overshot it a bit, maybe he wasn’t quite grounded enough – maybe a combination of both. But for a second, Maks wavered, and I was worried that they both were going to topple. Seriously – that is one dangerous lift! I don’t blame Erin for being apprehensive…
Heidi: I gasped – thought they were going all the way to the judges.
Best “Hairstyle on a Budget”: Nicole’s banana claw for the rumba
Courtney: Prior to their rumba, I was like “Really, hair people? First you Snookify Brooke, now you’re scrimping on Nicole and sticking her with a $2 Goody banana clip from the drugstore? You could at least bedazzle that thing, jeez!” Then I saw the rumba…and I was like “Ahhhh. I think I need to invest in some banana clips.”
Heidi: LOL – I was gonna say, nothing says “We’ve done it” more than a practiced hair loosening. Ya see, it’s the subtle little moves like that that make me go “Ahhh…I want some of that kind of action please.”
Best Intro for a Returning Celeb Dance: Tom’s description of Pam’s performance – “Pamela Anderson…and some guys.”
Courtney: Oh Pam – I knew you would make a triumphant return to the floor in your own steamy way! And she really did upstage all three of them, slinking around in that corset and fishnets. Leave it to Tom to summarize it best…I’m gonna miss you till September, Tom Bergeron 🙁
Heidi: Follow him on Twitter – hilarious. He and Melissa Rycroft have some weird relationship. He used her as a paparazzi shield monday night and then pseudo apologized on Twitter. Anyway, Pam didn’t just upstage them, she ROLLED across them. Wowza!!
The Candid Camera Award: Evan & Anna’s unhappy expressions in the dressing room; (dis)honorable mention for Anna clearly mouthing the f-word at the end of Monday night’s show
Courtney: Now we’ve all seen what kind of damage can be done when the couples know the camera is running during their practice sessions. But the real fun happens when they DON’T know the camera is on them – like finale night, when they showed Nicole & Derek backstage energetically practicing their jive, and then panned to the adjacent room where Evan & Anna were sitting – glumly, like someone had killed their dog – or they were about to kill each other. Now before anyone can say “But they felt defeated after Len told Nicole she should win!”, keep in mind this was BEFORE Len said that, as neither of them had performed their final dance yet. Not sure what they were so upset about, but someone must have told them to perk up, because they next time they showed them backstage, they were all smiles. As for Anna’s pottymouth moment, it’s at the very end of Monday night’s show, when they’re going through the scoreboard – they pan to Evan & Anna as they’re saying “And at the bottom of the leaderboard…” and Anna looks over her right shoulder and says “F&%!” It actually made me laugh – if I were on the show, I would probably have the censors taking beta blockers, they’d be bleeping me so much…nice to know the pros slip up from time to time, too;-)
Heidi: That was striking, them sitting there. I was like, what the hell?? But at the end of the results show, when Mark picks Derek up, I’m pretty sure he lets out an involuntary “shit” of surprise – or it was my high def making the audio cut out. Buncha potty mouths. 🙂
Best Wardrobe Malfunction Waiting to Happen – Brooke Burke and her gold Mummy dress
Heidi: When she went to talk to the final two and she actually SAT DOWN – I actually held my breath to see if the dress would bust in a strategic spot. 🙂 I was oddly disappointed when it held together. Seriously, they work so hard to keep the dancers in their dresses wouldn’t it be freakin’ hilarious if Brooke busted (heh) out of hers?? Anyway, she gave a whole new meaning to the words Golden Globes.
Courtney: That dress just confused me. It was some crazy patchwork concoction – like someone didn’t have enough of any one type of fabric to make a dress, so they just combined scraps they had laying around. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think I liked Samantha’s dresses better than some of the ones Brooke has worn.
Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night: “Hey Kate, while you’re up there, sing ‘Don’t Cry for me Argentina'”
Heidi: I think I actually guffawed. I don’t even know what that actually sounds like, but I’m pretty sure I did it. 🙂
Courtney: Eva Peron > Kate Gosselin. *shudder* Somehow I think that Kate would actually be a worse singer than she is a dancer (and I think we’ve already established that she is a TERRIBLE dancer!) Tom, don’t give Kate any ideas – next thing you know, the tabloids will have her auditioning for Broadway!
Hugest Disservice to an American Hero – Buzz and his strange space suit, complete with Green Lasers
Heidi: Really DWTS Wardrobe?? Really? Talk about cheesy!! Holy hell. And Star Wars? It also lasted about ten minutes too long. 🙂
Courtney: Ugh. Enough with the space suits and references to his astronaut background. Although I have to wonder if Buzz had some say in what he wanted to do – the man does wear a lot of NASA shirts…
Biggest Piece of Cheese I’m Most Ashamed to Admit that I Thought was Kinda Cool – The “Mirrorball Cage In Which Nicole and Evan Descended from the Ceiling.
Heidi:: I’m so ashamed. Between that and the fog, I was like “Coooool”. :::sigh:::
Courtney: My DVR cut that part out. Thank goodness!
Best Self Impersonation – Derek Hough, Describing his Reaction to Almost Dropping Nicole
Heidi: So nice to see these two so relaxed. Ahem. 🙂 Relaxed.
Courtney: DVR cut out on this one too…so I’ll just take your word for it 😉
Heidi: I’ll post it. It’s actually pretty funny. Apparently there was a lot of dialog during that dance and it was Derek who screwed it up. The dance, not the dialog.
Worst Opening Sequence in the History of the Show: Tuesday Night
Heidi: Is it just me or was that a craptastic opening dance? Did you see Kate walking along the edge of the dance floor trying to find her spot?? Did you notice Derek’s “I’m so going to puke” face?? LOL
Courtney: Another group number that looked like it was thrown together at the last possible moment. Lots of confused choreography, dittoed costumes, and pained expressions. I think the feather thingies were meant to distract us from a clearly terrible performance – some very wise production assistant must have plucked them from the prop closet & suggested they reuse them from the female pros’ opening dancing last season. If I were one of the producers, that production assistant would be promoted to creative director! Haha.
The “I’m So Uncomfortable Watching This” Award: Kate Gosselin informing Tony That She’s Controversial “You know”
Heidi: Um, ick? I can’t decide if it was mean of the producers to show that, or stupid of Kate to seem oddly proud of it.
Courtney: I think what bothered me most was the way she said the word “controversial”. She put too much emphasis on the “i” – “controverSEE-al”. Like she wanted to make it sound more high-class or something. Honey, if you have to tell us that you’re controverSEE-al – then you’re just fishing.
Moment I Expected To Be Supremely Craptastic: Vienna Dancing
Heidi: Why wasn’t she on the show?? She’s way better than Jake. I was surprised how well she did with Dmitry, then not surprised when with Jake everything got…stiff. Pardon the expression. 🙂 Jake turns everything Cheesy.
Courtney: Jake is a goober. And Vienna was alright – but she still looks like she has no clue what is going on around her. Totally blank expression. Dude, at least Tenley had more facial expressions than just “confused”.
Heidi: :::gasp::: Did YOU watch the Bachelor?!?! Come sit with me in the hall of shame, girly. 🙂
Courtney: Eh, I saw some of the finale…CSI must have been a rerun that night. It was like a train wreck in progress – terrible, but you just can’t seem to avert your eyes!
Surest Sign that Len’s Meds Need Adjusting: Telling Nicole She Should Win BEFORE Evan Even Danced
Heidi: I’m a Derek/Nicole fan and I have to say that was shitty. Super Shitty. I groaned out loud.
Courtney: Call me insensitive, but it actually didn’t bother me too badly – granted, I was really surprised Len actually said it, but at that point I think it was just getting too obvious that Nicole was miles ahead of Evan. And I think you mentioned it earlier, but Len may have thought that Nicole wasn’t going to win – and hence was trying to soften the blow a bit…even if he went about it in a rather uncouth way. Or maybe he just got sick of all of the storyboarding, and the fakey “OMG! It’s anyone’s game!” schtick, and this was his geriatric way of rebelling. It seemed to bother Anna more than it bothered Evan – that boy is sweet as pie and totally laid back, so he probably didn’t give it much of a second thought. Good for him 🙂
Biggest “Oh no you didn’t!” Moment: Kelly Monaco calling Alec the Iceman
Heidi: Geez, maybe it’s true but can you be ANY more unprofessional, bitch?
Courtney: My guess is that ABC cited some obscure line in her contract from the original season that forced her to attend – because she made it abundantly clear that she really didn’t have any desire to be there. Maybe she was cranky cause her character’s boytoy on General Hospital just got sent to prison. No sex scenes for Sam McCall for awhile…I’d be cranky too! But I gotta give her props for saying out loud (on national television) what we’ve been saying all along – Alec is totally blah.
Tom Bergeron Line O’ The Night, Take Two: “I’ll Never Get Tired of Seeing You Do That”, when imitating Maks jumping tantrum
Heidi: If anyone can bring Maks down to size, it’s Tom Bergeron. LOL
Courtney: Somehow, I don’t think that’s the last we’ll see of the clip of Maks jumping up and down like a toddler who wants candy at the grocery store. I have a feeling it will resurface in subsequent seasons when they’re doing background videos of the pros. Congrats, Maks – your tantrum is now cemented in the annals of DWTS history. 🙂
*sigh* Well, we hope you guys have enjoyed your weekly helpings of cheesecake this season as much as we’ve enjoyed dishing them out. The Heidi & Courtney Bitchin’ Kitchen may be closed for the season, but will reopen for business again in September for another fun-filled season of snark 😉 Until then, please do continue to lurk! Pure DWTS doesn’t go on summer vacay – we’ll still be keeping up with the latest casting rumors, post-season media appearances, pro gossip, and who knows what else! It promises to be a good time…so stay tuned!
This is what I call a pretty crazy finale. 4 dances? That’s a lot of dances for any dancer. Let alone those that aren’t exactly ballroom dancers. Although, it seems good that they raised the bar for these 3 dancers since they are all so good. Ok, without further ado, tonight’s list of DWTS music:
Erin & Maksim danced a Samba to the song “Mi Swing Es Tropical” – Nickodemus & Quantic feat Tempo
Erin & Maksim danced a Freestyle to the song “Alone” —Heart
Erin & Maksim danced a Argentine Tango to the song “Una Música Brutal” —Gotan Project
Erin & Maksim danced a ??? to the song
Evan & Anna danced a Viennese Waltz to the song “Piano Man” —Billy Joel
Evan & Anna danced a Freestyle to the song “Footloose” —Kenny Loggins
Evan & Anna danced a Argentine Tango to the song “Bust Your Windows” —Jazmine Sullivan
Evan & Anna danced a Quickstep to the song
Nicole & Derek danced a Rumba to the song “The Lady in Red” —Chris De Burgh
Nicole & Derek danced a Freestyle to the song “A Little Less Conversation” —Elvis Presley
Nicole & Derek danced a Argentine Tango to the song “El Capitalismo Foraneo” —Gotan Project
Nicole & Derek danced a Jive to the song
Check out the previous weeks DWTS music here.
In case you missed it, we posted a poll after last week’s show to predict the winner of Dancing with the Stars season 10. So far we’ve gotten 684 votes. Here are the results:
Looks like it’s down to Evan and Nicole (no surprise there) with Evan the winner of Dancing with the Stars season 10. This should be fun to watch.
So here we are… the Finals. The last week of Dancing with the Stars for the season until the Fall Season starts and the cycle begins again.
Normally I would do a breakdown of dances and predict a score… since most of the dances are rehashes of what they have done previously I will only provide the score they have achieved when they did the dance the first time around:
Erin Andrews / Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Judges Choice: Samba – Week 6: 25/30
– Season 4 (w/ Laila Ali): 26/30
– Season 5 (w/ Melanie Brown): 27/30
Argentine Tango – Week 8: 28/30
Viennese Waltz(?) – Week 9: 27/30
Nicole Scherzinger / Derek Hough
Judges Choice: Rumba – Week 4: 25/30
– Season 7 (w/ Brooke Burke): 30/30
Argentine Tango – Week 9: 30/30
Jive – Week 2: 28/30
Evan Lysacek / Anna Trebunskaya
Judges Choice: Viennese Waltz – Week 1: 23/30
– Season 2 (w/ Jerry Rice): 27/30
Argentine Tango – Week 7: 30/30
Quickstep – Week 3: 26/30
One of my favorite parts of Pure Dancing with the Stars is having polls where people can vote for their favorite dancers. I love it because they are actually very good predictors of who is actually going to win this season of Dancing with the Stars. Take a look at the poll we did at the beginning of the season to predict the Dancing with the Stars season 10 winner. The top 4 in votes were in fact the top 4. How beautiful is that?
Well, it’s that time again. We’re down to the final 3 and it’s your chance to vote for who you think (or who you want, you choose) to win Dancing with the Stars season 10. Should be fun to watch and see who the Pure DWTS readership predicts to be the winner of Dancing with the Stars season 10. Now Vote!!
Congrats to Erin, Evan and Nicole for making the DWTS Season 10 finale!!