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Week 6 Miscellaneous Media – DWTS Season 10

Chad and Cheryl talk about how Chad prefers Latin dances. And how they’re doing Viennese Waltz this week. :-)

Evan is a cutie, for sure, but I got distracted halfway through this interview by Derek talking to Donny in the background. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but it looks funny. :-)

Derek and Nicole – Derek has Nicole’s spray tan all over his shirt. See Courtney, they were doing lifts. :-)

May 1, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Ratings Race of Season 10 – Week 6

DWTS is still beating American Idol in overall ratings, if I am reading Variety correctly. However, AI wins again in that key 18 – 49 demographic.

Overall, according to Nielsen estimates for the April 19-25 frame that include same-night DVR playback, Fox cruised to victory in 18-49 with a 3.2 rating/10 share, well ahead of its closely bunched rivals: ABC (2.0/6) and CBS and NBC (both 1.9/6). Univision ran fifth as usual (1.3/4), followed by TNT (1.1/3), ESPN (1.0/3) and USA (0.9/2).

ABC was paced by “Dancing With the Stars” (4.8/13, 21.07m), No. 6 for the week in 18-49 and No. 1 in total viewers. Comedy “Romantically Challenged” (2.9/8 in 18-49, 10.67m) had an OK bow following “Dancing” on Monday, and then dropped off a bit in its second try kicking off the current week.

DWTS easily wins Monday night in total viewers and also does well in the key demo, also per Variety:

Dancing With the Stars” (4.3 rating/12 share in 18-49, 20.2 million viewers overall) had nearly twice as many viewers than any other broadcast primetime program Monday, but “House” (4.1/12, 10.6 million) still nipped it in the demo during the first hour. In its final 30 minutes, “Stars” powered ahead with a 5.0/13, a mark unchallenged by CBS’ rerun of “Two and a Half Men” (3.0/8, 9.7 million) and the first halfhour of Fox’s “24″ (2.9/8, 9.2 million from 9-9:30 p.m.).

April 30, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – The Score Card

Better late than never, as they say. :-) I was out of town this week so everything is out of sorts. And I didn’t get to see the results show in a timely manner, but I will say that I can’t believe that Courtney didn’t mention the flames coming out of either Erin or Nicole’s hips during one of the recaps. I had to be surprised by that. :-)

The Score Card:

Heidi: Called Jake pretty solidly, with Niecy as a back up.

Courtney: Called Jake solid, with Niecy as next in line.

This week I’m adding in Marianya’s predictions, keeping in mind that her predictions were made PRE-DANCE, and her predictions were for what scores the couples would get.

Marianya’s Predictions:
Pam/Damian: M’s prediction was 23, the actual score was 22
Chad/Cheryl: M said 21, actual score was 24
Erin/Maks: M said 22, the actual score was 25
Evan/Anna: M said 26, the actual score was a shocking 21
Jake/Chelsie: M said 23, the actual score was 21
Nicole/Derek: M said 27, the actual score was 26

Not too bad! She got two scores out of six within one point and one more within two points. Considering that Evan’s score was a joke, I think that’s a pretty good record. Unfortunately, she said Niecy was going home, with Pam in the bottom two with her. We don’t know the actual bottom two, but it was Jake that went home.

Summary

Heidi: Yay!! We were both completely right for a change!! I have to add that I think not many people are voting or, conversely, a lot of people are voting but not for Pam, Niecy or Jake, since the three of them were trading places in the red light of doom every week. I will also say – no WAY do I believe that Evan was anywhere close to a bottom 3. That said, I don’t know what their possible motivation could be for giving that impression OR for scoring him so poorly. As much as Maks annoys me with his bitching right now, he is absolutely right on a few points, one of them being: no way in hell did Evan dance less well than Chad, or as good as Niecy. No. Way. He was horribly underscored even though I did think his dance was missing something this week. I wonder if the judges and producers are actually trying to make it look like a horse race – and setting it up to look like a “surprise” win. Or for Nicole to be a “surprise” elimination within the next week or two.

Courtney: Not a whole lot to say this week, other than “Yay! Got it 100% right for the first time this season!” It really has been unpredictable this season, between Shannen’s early departure & Kate’s much-longer-than-it-should’ve-been presence – kinda threw things into disarray. But Jake is gone (even though I think he did much better than Chad has so far this season), Niecy’s Insider support seems to be waning – and so far, Team Viva La Pam has snatched her from the jaws of death twice – can they do it again, if it comes down to her and someone else in the bottom 2? It’s making me nervous that, out of the blue, the judges seem to suddenly be in love with Chad (with no good reason), and ragging on Evan (still wondering WTF happened there). Nicole is still getting negative critiques, but high scores; Erin’s kind of a wild card, doing marginal one week and good the next. I’m thinking that the Evan love will return this week, and that Niecy & Chad could both be in trouble…but who knows. Obviously this season has shaken my faith in my powers of prediction :-/

Marianya?? Any comment?

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – A Little Bit of Media

Just a couple of interviews with the entire cast after the performance show. :-)

ET with Donny Osmond:

George with the Local LA Affiliate:
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src="http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/static/flash/embeddedPlayer/swf/otvEmLoader.swf?version=&station=kabc&section=&mediaId=7408129&cdnRoot=http://cdn.abclocal.go.com&webRoot=http://abclocal.go.com&site=">

April 28, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – Dancing by the Numbers

Well, Len is on crack, that is all there is to it. I don’t think he called a single dance right last night. Not a single one. Neither the ones he liked, nor the ones he didn’t like. Let’s recap, shall we?

Len to Jake on his Samba: Showing confidence, performance was polished, forgiving the mis-step, lacking rhythm. Good job, well done.

This is when Jake actually had a mis-step, and Len gives him a 7. Then next is Evan, who easily dances a better Samba than Jake, with hips and everything and doesn’t have a mis-step. Yeah, he was a little off, but there were no glaring errors. And Len?

Len to Evan on his Samba: Worst Dance he’s done, was ballet instead of carnival. (Gee, he tells Nicole too much shimmying – like you would do at Carnival) – Len gives him a 7.

Next up, Niecy with a funny Argentine Tango. What the hell? What is wrong with Louis and his silly themes this season? He was great when he made the one dance about equality, but then the rumba about Niecy’s brother and now the AT that is supposed to be funny? With eating the rose and the cookie, Len should be a bad ass because of those gimmicks, right? Um, no.

Len to Niecy on her Argentine Tango: I liked the comedy. It didn’t interfere with the performance (even Tom questions him). Lacked a bit of intensity, but overall it was good. (WHAT????)

But after all those nice comments from all the judges, they get 7’s. No wonder Maks is pissesd and confused. Next up, Erin. Uh oh. Maks is taking off clothes, Len ain’t going to like this. Why is Maks doing this, particularly after the cracks (jokes??) about Jake being desperate and losing his pants?? Len’s going to pop a blood vessel!
Len on Erin’s Samba: Erin hold my gaze. From week 1 I’ve given you a 7 and tonight I’m giving you another 7 when you should be getting 8’s and 9’s. Show me a proper dance, fed up with shirts coming off , she doesn’t need that, etc. blah blah blah.

Okay, so he did pop a blood vessel and Maks talked back, like a jerk (and normally I find him funny). So, Len gives her a…wait for it…7. This is probably the only dance he came close on tonight even though I thought it was good, but because of the gimmicks crap that he’s given 6s for before. And Nicole didn’t yank Derek’s clothes off and danced as good or better – and still only got a 7.

Okay, so Chad is doing better. He got an 18 last week, he should get a 20 this week based on that dance, right? Especially after how they scored Evan, right? Um, no.
Len on Chad’s Argentine Tango: You either grow or you go. You grew tonight.

Um, what? Yeah, he grew, but by THAT much?? Len gives out his only 8 of the night to CHAD? After seeing Evan dance, he gives Chad an *8*??? And Nicole gets dinged for not doing two of Len’s favorite moves despite doing another killer dance (with *other* Samba moves, just not his favorites), with her actually doing the moves? Speaking of Nicole – cool your jets, girl, Len ain’t ever giving you a 9 again unless he’s on his meds again. Might as well relax.

Len on Nicole’s Samba: For me, difficulty and performance level was great, line at the end was ugly, too much gyrations. You didn’t do my two favorite moves. It’s a hodge podge of sexy moves and gyrations.

Um, hyperbole much Len?? So let me get this straight – the difficulty and performance level were great, but she didn’t do two moves you like so you’re giving her a 7?? In what universe does what Len actually SAY make sense? If he thought it was just gyrating and sexy moves, then why did he say the difficulty and performance level were great?? WTF?? Chad stands there while Cheryl dances around him and he gets an 8?? Crack, I tell you. Crack.

Next up, Pam. Frankly, I thought Pam was excellent. A little hesitant at times, but the best AT of the night, IMO. Easily. What does Len say?

Len on Pam’s AT: The tango is about seduction and you can do seduction very well. You got the flavor of the dance but it was a bit scraggy here and there, but over all a good job.

He gives her a 7, of course. I’m sorry, but I think there is something rotten in Denmark.

Anyway, rant over. For now.

The Math

Here are the Judges Scores:
Dancer/Score
Nicole/36
Erin/34
Chad/31
Pam/30
Evan/27
Niecy/26
Jake/25
Total Judges Points Awarded = 209

So, Evan is in the bottom 3 and Chad is in the top 3? In what universe?? Crack-land, that’s what universe. Erin, I’m thinking she was slightly over scored – or Pam was underscored. Or both. Take your pick.

Dividing the individual scores by the total points awarded gives you the following percentages:
Dancer/Percentage of Total
Nicole/17.22
Erin/16.27
Chad/14.83
Pam/14.35
Evan/12.92
Niecy/12.44
Jake/11.96

I’m going to say that Nicole, Erin, Evan and Chad are safe. After that? Well, I think it’s between Niecy and Jake, since Pam was in the bottom two last week. Who will go?

Dancer/Votes

Evan– No problem, regardless of his score. Question is, WHY did they score him so low. Something is rotten in Denmark? Does he really need more sympathy?? His dance was better than a 21
.
Nicole – I think she and Derek did a great job, don’t know what Len’s problem REALLY is – when you stack Nicole against the other people who got 7’s from Len plus Chad – there’s no comparison. I didn’t have a problem with anything she said in rehearsal, especially not when compared to Maks’ behavior tonight and Erin’s comments in the past. I don’t know why Nicole isn’t allowed the same issues as everyone else.

Erin – I wonder how she’s really doing on votes? Am I the only one (along with Courtney) getting tired of her schtick?? I think she got a strong enough score to be safe, and there are always those HOPELESS romantics out there that will vote for a SHOWmance every time.

Chad – I agree with Courtney. He didn’t really dance much, but Cheryl sure did. Calling him safe, either way.

The next 3 – no clue how the voting is going. The way the “bottom” couple changes from one week to the next makes me think it must be close.

Niecy – Jake- Pam equal too close to call. Pam is the best of the three, easily better than Chad, and equally as good as Erin. But people aren’t voting for her in large enough numbers.

Okay, revisting the bottom four dancers in terms of judges scores, we have:
Pam/14.35
Evan/12.92
Niecy/12.44
Jake/11.96

Forget about Evan. He’s going nowhere. For Pam to go home, fulfilling the bottom two deal from last week, Jake would have to get 24k more votes per 1 million votes cast AND Nicey would have to get 19,200 more votes per 1 million votes cast. Will this happen? Beats the hell out of me. I’m going to say no, both of those things won’t happen. I’m inclined to think that Jake won’t score the 24k more per 1 million. I’m inclined, for that reason, to think Jake is going home. However, it’s entirely possible that other people besides myself thought the humorous AT was actually NOT and decline to vote for Niecy. Nothing will surprise me at this point, actually. Well, I would be shocked if Evan or Nicole or Erin went home – but you never know.

So, my final call is Jake with Niecy as second runner up. I hope like hell my prediction hasn’t doomed Pam.

April 27, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS 10 Week 6 Predictions

Another week has come and gone and with upcoming Monday’s show, comes new dances… in this case the fiesty Samba and the sultry Argentine Tango…

(Un)Fortunately, the Argentine Tango was introduced only two seasons ago as thus there is limited data available for analysis. But I will do with what I can…

Many thanks to Heidi for breaking down who is dancing what in tomorrow’s show

Pamela Anderson/Damian Whitewood – Argentine Tango
- Season 8 (Holly Madison/Dmitry Chaplin, Week 4): 16/30
Prediction: 23/30

Niecy Nash/Louis van Amstel – Argentine Tango
- Season 9 (w/ Kelly Osbourn, Week 10): 26/30
Prediction: 20/30

Chad Ochocinco/Cheryl Burke – Argentine Tango
- Season 8 (w/ Gilles Marini, Week 4): 30/30
- Season 8 (Lawrence Taylor/Edyta Sliwinska, Week 4): 19/30
Prediction: 21/30

The Samba on the other hand has been around since Season 1 of Dancing with the Stars, as thus there is much more data available for analysis:

Erin Andrews/Maksim Chmerkovskiy – Samba
- Season 2 (w/ Tia Carrere, Week 5): 22/30
- Season 4 (w/ Laila Ali, Week 7): 30/30
- Season 5 (w/ Melanie Brown, Week 5): 29/30
- Season 8 (w/ Denise Richards, Week 3): 16/30
- Season 9 (w/ Debi Mazar, Week 3): 17/30
Prediction: 22/30

Evan Lysacek/Anna Trebunskaya – Samba
- Season 2 (w/ Jerry Rice, Week 5): 23/30
- Season 9 (w/ Chuck Liddell, Week 3): 17/30
- Season 9 (w/ Mark Dacascos, Week 7): 19/30
and of course in comparison with that other figure skater…
- Season 6 (Kristi Yamaguchi/Mark Ballas, Week 8): 26/30
Prediction: 26/30

Jake Pavelka/Chelsie Hightower – Samba
- Season 8 (w/ Ty Murray, Week 10): 23/30
Since there is so little information in regards we look to other reality stars for additional data
- Season 8 (Holly Madison/Dmitry Chaplin, Week 3): 17/30
- Season 8 (Melissa Rycroft/Tony Dovolani, Week 9): 30/30
Prediction: 23/30

Nicole Scherzinger/Derek Hough – Samba
- Season 5 (w/ Jennie Garth, Week 5): 25/30
- Season 6 (w/ Shannon Elizabeth, Week 5): 23/30
- Season 7 (w/ Brooke Burke, Week 4): 26/30
- Season 7 (w/ Brooke Burke, Week 10): 28/30
- Season 8 (w/ Lil’ Kim, Week 3): 25/30
- Season 9 (w/ Joanna Krupa, Week 3): 23/30
Prediction: 27/30

As for who I think will leave the competition on Tuesday? According to several calculations, I believe that bottom two would be Niecy and Pam with Niecy going home… though I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if Jake is swapped with Pamela.

Those are my predictions, what are yours? :)

April 25, 2010 I Written By

My life can be summed up in the following two quotes: 1) "I am married to engineering and am its faithful wife by day, but at night my wanderlust takes hold and the arts becomes my jealous paramour." and... 2) "Engineering is my safety net. Writing is my passion. Acting is my escape when the other two become too much." So where does dancing fit in? Pretty much anywhere at this point... =)

DWTS Season 10, Week 6 – Who’s Dancing What?

And this week we have the Argentine Tango and the Samba, in addition to a Swing Marathon. Swing? Why? Why Swing? Because none of the pros on this season are experts in it? Wasn’t Lacey the only Swing pro we had? In any case, it should be fun to watch. :-) Now, in no particular order…

Pamela/Damian – Argentine Tango: I give up trying to predict what or how Pam will do. :-) She surprises me every time. I do think that she really has to up her game this week because she’s hit the bottom two twice, which means the voters are either forgetting about her or they don’t like the sexpot routine. I can tell you, if Derek weren’t on this season, I would be voting for Pam all the way. Anyway – she needs to be sharp and crisp and fierce. She needs a knockout performance or she will be the one knocked out.

Jake/Chelsie – Samba: Looking ahead through the whole list of who’s dancing what (including Pam, above), I would wager that the producers are stacking the decks again – but for who? I think they gave every single pair the dance they would be most likely to have trouble with. Jake doing the Samba. Hmmm…he seems to do okay with stuff that requires hip action, but can he reign in his enthusiasm and give a solid performance? He might be in trouble now that we’re getting down to the nitty gritty.

Chad/Cheryl – Argentine Tango: I smell disaster. I don’t think he was really in danger last week, although I could be wrong, but he really needs to step up his game. Being a football player will only carry you so far, just as being a trainwreck (Kate) will only carry you so far. Frankly, his “thing” with Cheryl is getting pretty old – cut with the coy games and DANCE, dude. In any case, I can’t see Chad pulling off an AT that is sharp enough to get good scores, although they do have him stacked up against Pam and Niecy which could help him.

Nicole/Derek – Samba: Well, I know these two are putting in serious hours, if Derek’s tweets are anything to go by, and Nicole has got the moves for sure. The only thing I worry about is the lack of hype surrounding her. Everything is/was about Kate, Niecy and Jake, and to a lesser extent Erin. She doesn’t have the fanbase of Evan, so she needs to be killer yet again to generate votes on Monday night. Lord knows she’s not getting the publicity. Considering who’s left, she’s probably safe regardless.

Niecy/Louis – Argentine Tango: I’m sorry, but this is another potential disaster and I love Niecy. It seems to me they gave all the less precise, but entertaining, dancers the AT. Are they trying to weed out the lesser dancers?

Erin/Maks – Samba: Hopefully these two have put the silly crap behind them and Erin has retracted her claws enough to do a good Samba. Sorry Erin – really didn’t like you throwing Jake under the bus and I’m not even a Jake fan. I hope that Karma doesn’t come for you this week, because otherwise I think you can likely do a good Samba. Throw Nicole and Evan under the bus if you like (although it would still be tacky), since they are both awesome, but Jake? Sorry, but their gimmick was better than yours. ‘Cept for those dinosaur band aids. :-)

Evan/Anna – Samba: Hmmmm. He did okay the last time hips were required, but that was the rumba. Can he do it for the Samba? I read on twitter that they just finished their samba today and were starting the Swing. In any case, it won’t matter – he’ll get all the votes he needs, barring disastrous scores. And I do think he’ll end up doing a great dance – he’s a skater and performer, after all. ;-) I do wonder if the lack of sleep will start to get to him. If he would NOT go out with Derek, Mark, Cheryl, Maks, et al on Monday nights, it might help. :-)

Is it just me, or does it seem they gave the stronger dancers (excepting Jake) the Samba and the weaker dancers the AT? My imagination? Because here’s how it stacks up (in order of score, IMO, highest to lowest):

The Samba:
Nicole
Evan
Erin
Jake

The Argentine Tango:
Pam
Niecy – Chad (Tie)

The people with the AT were all those in jeopardy last week and they got the dance that you can’t fake a lot of – or am I wrong? Am I the only one that thinks those dancing Samba are going to rock the house and those dancing AT…aren’t?? Will Jake blow it? Can Pam up her game with that dance? As for who’s going home….well, I’m going to say Niecy or Pam. As always, I reserve the right to change my mind once I’ve seen the dances. :-)

Here’s a few little gems I found that I thought I would include this week:




April 24, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 5 – Results Show Recap (Video)

I must say, I love how much dancing they’re putting into the results shows these days – keep up the good work!!

Len’s Dancing recap – who danced what and how well. Love the confessionals. Read more..

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 5 – The Ratings Race Continues

…with Dancing with the Stars in the lead once again. :-) From the Washington Post:

Once again, ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” has pasodobled past Fox’s “American Idol” in the ratings.

Monday’s 90-minute “Dancing” episode, featuring America’s Most Put Upon Mother Kate Gosselin performing her final walk — this time an alleged foxtrot, to “The Breakfast Club” tune “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” while dressed as Princess Aurora from “Sleeping Beauty” — averaged 21.1 million viewers.

Meanwhile, Tuesday’s one-hour performance episode of “Idol,” in which show host Ryan Seacrest’s ego took the night off, freeing up more time for the Idolettes to take turns singing inspirational songs, attracted 19.7 million people to their screens, according to Nielsen.

This week marks the third time in five weeks the performance night of “Dancing” has attracted a larger crowd than the performance night on “Idol.”

It may also be the last because, sadly, “Dancing” ratings magnet Gosselin was finally felled this week by the professional judges’ low, low scores for her performances (“Dancing” eliminates a celebrity per week based on a combination of the judges’ scores and viewer voting).

I guess that remains to be seen. I don’t think it was Kate drawing viewers, so much as Idol really sucks this season. Seriously.

April 23, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS Season 10, Week 5 – The Cheesecake Awards!

It was a Cheesy, sometimes annoying week, this week. :-) But there is one huge bright spot – no more Kate. But there’s also a dim spot – no more Kate. :-) Beware, Courtney and I weren’t in the best of moods when we wrote these. ;-)

Most Interesting Movie Theme Selection: Armageddon for Evan and Anna
Heidi: So, producers. Armageddon, eh? What exactly are you trying to say? ;-) Evan the asteroid?
Courtney: *pouting* I would have enjoyed it so much more if it was an overwrought, tacky homage to Top Gun. I had such high hopes! Haha. But yes, this was a bit peculiar – and kind of a hard movie to convey in that rumba. What where they supposed to do, have Anna hurling herself across the stage at Evan like some sort of asteroid about to hit the dance floor? And in the same token – how were Niecy & Louis supposed to convey “La Bamba” in their dance? Dress Louis up like Lou Diamond Phillips?

Best “Heidi was right” moment – Armageddon!!
Heidi: My brain finally came through on one. ;-)
Courtney: Props, m’dear…but I swear, someone is going to use “Take My Breath Away” one of these seasons, count on it!!

Best Len/Tom Interaction – Re: Chad. Len: “This is a dance competition”. Tom: “Not for him it isn’t.”
Heidi: Tom Bergeron, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Way too many one-liners tonight.
Courtney: Tom, you are oh-so-wise. But if it’s not a dance competition for Chad…what exactly is it? A “get in Cheryl’s pants the fastest” contest? A “see how much sports-related trash talking you can do in the off-season” competition? Please…put him on blast, Mr. Bergeron ;-)

Most Delightful Temper Tantrum – Maks jumping up and down during his pre-jive package with Erin
Heidi: Dude, way to channel your inner two year old – WAY more fun than the meanie weenie. ;-) I giggle the whole time – and I was rooting for HIM, which is a change.
Courtney: I think Maks may have met his match in Erin…the girl gets under his skin in the best way. She’s reduced him from a man of such arrogance & bravado to a pouting toddler. LOVE IT.

Most Nonsensical Prop – Maks’ menu.
Heidi: Why? That had nothing to do with the movie dance – and you slowed down the tempo which is cheating on the Jive, in addition to using a prop for just as many bars as Damian did.
Courtney: Somewhere, Quentin Tarantino is having a seizure…not only did they foul up with the color of Erin’s hair (and the lack of a ponytail on Maks, AHEM), but they used a very, very minor part of the original movie scene to skirt around doing a full-speed jive for the whole routine. I would have been more impressed if he was dancing around drinking a “$5 milkshake” ;-)

Most Distracting Accessory – Jake’s Bandaids
Heidi: For the love of God, Jake, if you’re going to dance in your underwear, man up and lose the bandaids. I think they might even have had dinosaurs on them. Or little planes.
Courtney: Or Hello Kitty. Or maybe even custom ones with Vienna’s face on them. Wait…maybe that’s a little too weird…Vienna on his knees…gah. At least he managed to get those pants on quickly to cover them up.
Heidi: I feel dirty now. Thanks.

Most Horrifying Dress – Kate.
Heidi: Sweet jesus, can you get any more colors on that dress? And what was it supposed to mean??? If you’re taking the time to write on a chalkboard for your movie theme, at least dress the woman like Molly Ringwald circa 1980’s.
Courtney: I’m just pissed that it was more akin to the dreadful pink number that Molly wore to the prom at the end of Pretty in Pink, and the song was from the Breakfast Club. But yes, it was an eyesore – kinda like a watercolor palette exploded in the wardrobe room – but so was her dancing. So I guess it kind of fit.

Tom Bergeron LOL Line O’ the Night - Regarding Kate Gosselin: “8 little friends just stripped Bruno’s car”
Heidi: Bwahahaha…OMG. The man can think on his feet like no one else – and the imagery of those little kids all over Bruno’s car, tearing parts off, all the while snarling like little animals. LOL
Courtney: Dunno what’s scarier: the thought of those 8 little rugrats wreaking havoc on Bruno’s stylish little European 2-seater like some thugs out of Grand Theft Auto, or the thought of Mama Gosselin goading them on: “C’mon, babies! Show Bruno what happens when he talks bad about mama’s dancing!”

Best Prat Fall – Derek Hough, “Whoo Hoo…” CRASH!!!!!!!!!
Heidi: I swear, he does that on purpose but he makes it look real. It’s oddly funny every time. The dork. :-)
Courtney: Still trying to figure out if he meant to do it or not…it looks like he may have planned to do something crazy, but maybe went at it with too much force and ended up sprawled on the floor laughing instead. Either way, I got a chuckle out of it.
Heidi: I think Tom gets a kick out of it too: “Derek Hough: The Buster Keaton of DWTS” LOL

Most On-Show Pimpage – TIE: Evan (skating, traveling) & Kate (using her kids for votes)
Heidi: Evan’s really wasn’t up to him, or his fault per se, although it makes me wonder why they are making a fuss about him traveling while performing. It certainly isn’t the first time, and for someone as experienced as he is, no hardship either. He signed up knowing that was going to be the case. So what’s the deal?? Soap Stars did it. Niecy does it. Donny Osmond did it. As did countless others – at least one every season, as I recall. But what I don’t recall is them making a big deal out of Donny doing it (of course, he had ET to do it FOR him) or hardly anyone else, either. In any case, Kate’s was much more egregious – can you use children for votes any more blatantly than she did?That was horrible. (Note: It might also have been what got her kicked off, that and her witchier than normal behavior – she finally went too far.)
Courtney: The “I love you!” to her kids was getting more & more forceful each week – kinda getting scary, actually. Like she was subliminally saying “Listen up, America! I LOVE MY KIDS! I DESERVE VOTES!!!” Yikes. Not faulting the woman for loving her kids – but she doesn’t need to exploit it for votes. Evan…*sigh* I’m done even trying to talk about his ringership. But apparently the show isn’t…although I must point out Adam’s comment about Evan’s spins: “Gee, wonder where he learned how to do that? HE’S A PROFESSIONAL ICE DANCER, PEOPLE!” Hmmm, that doesn’t sound like Adam pointing out a correlation between dancing and skating now, does it? ;-)

Most Improvement by a Non-Contestant: Brooke Burke
Heidi: I gotta give it up to Brooke; I noticed she was much better Monday night. More at ease, more prepared or something. I heard no loud gonging sounds or groans after she spoke. I think she’s starting to get into the job.
Courtney: That, or they have someone in her ear telling her exactly what to say verbatim. But yes, I agree – she’s improved. No more awkward comments about cheesecake. :-)

The Human Thesaurus Award – Niecy Nash, for rattling off as many synonyms for “horseplay” as she could think of
Courtney: Shenanigans…antics…tom foolery…carrying on…funny business…hijinx…
Heidi: …foolishness….crap, I got nuthin’ else. :-)

The “Adam Corrolla Should be on Every Week!” Award: Julianne stuck this thing under my butt and told me to “pedal, monkey!!” Or how about his razzing of Evan for of course knowing how to spin. Like, DUH!!
Heidi: I think Adam is a riot and he, along with those Dance Center guys, should be on more often. And the Evan thing was a nice counterpoint to the previous night’s pimpage. Not sure I want to know about Julianne sticking things under his butt, though. Plus, I also thought he was Jewish. Go figure. :-)
Courtney: AMEN ON ALL COUNTS. Between Tom & Adam, we have a voice of reason on this show.

Most Incoherent Critique of a Contestant’s Dancing: Carrie Ann comparing Kate’s foxtrot to the teacher from Charlie Brown
Courtney: I KIND OF understood what she was saying, but she choose a really awkward metaphor for it. Couldn’t she have said “Nothing about your dance was really defined”, instead of spouting off a chorus of “Wuh wuh wuh WUHH”? And then the whole “SUPERSTAR!!!” thing with Derek & Nicole – did she throw back a couple of cosmopolitans before the show?
Heidi: Ummmm…..Cosmos. You know, there are times that I think you and I are the only ones old enough to drink around here. :-) I think she meant that when she watches Kate dance, she sort of drifts off into La La land and doesn’t really see the dance anymore. She’s, like, seeing Tony naked or something. Or am I the only one with that problem?

Most Interesting Freudian Slip: Cheryl Burke – “Chad isn’t happy unless I’m always coddling/cuddling him”
Courtney: Hehe…she may have aimed for “coddling”, but it sure sounded an awful lot like “cuddling”…
Heidi: I heard fondling. Must have been the beer.

Best Wardrobe Malfunction: Chelsie popping out of her dress during the encore performance of Jake’s cha-cha
Courtney: Maybe mine eyes were deceiving me – but didn’t it seem like Jake was trying to use his head to cover up Chelsie’s boobs? What a helper. LOL
Heidi: Pretty sure Vienna is packing heat. If he’s not careful, he’ll get his “helper” shot off. Risky Business indeed.

And thus another week of Cheesecake Awards are concluded. Please, DWTS, try to give us more exciting material next time, would ya? We KNOW you’ve got it in you. :-)

April 22, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)