Below is a fun treat before show time tonight! Dancing With The Stars Amber Riley stars in Todrick Hall‘s “Spell Block Tango” which is going viral. Other celebs featured in the video are Adam Lambert, Pia Toscano, Shoshana Bean, Cassie Scerbo, and Blake McGrath. The video was produced as part of Todrick‘s new partnership with Marlon Wayans‘ new company “What the Funny”. Too cool. Check it out!
DWTS Mark Ballas Performs A Special Live Acoustic Performance At The Grove And Will Also Be Performing At 26th Annual Imagen Awards
Yesterday, Mark paid The Grove in Hollywood a little visit. He gave them an interview and sang. He talks of his three favorite dream partners for Dancing With The Stars again….Jennifer Aniston, Ellen Degeneres, and Pippa Middleton (this one always gets a lot of ewws and ahhs). He gives hints for his next single. He also promotes Pia Toscano and a possible collaboration (this is where it gets a little hard to stomach?). Anyway, Mark’s performance isn’t bad. I’ll give him that. Check it out!
Thanks to Vin for sending this link to us!!!
Also, for those who are fans to Mark musically, he will be performing at the 26th Annual Imagen Awards on August 12th at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. He will also be presenting an award.
John: Seriously. How do you decide on this one?
Vogue: I have to say this was kind of lackluster Season for entertainment in my opinion. I was hoping for Katy Perry, Rihanna, or Lady Gaga. But, from the choices, I picked New Kids On The Block/Backstreet Boys. I so loved the boy bands and it was great seeing them again. I loved Hanson too!
Courtney: This category drives me absolutely NUTS because there’s so damn many musical acts each season, and a ridiculous number of write-in votes. People, please – Josh Groban’s name is spelled like that, and there are no alternative spellings. And whoever wrote in “Hanson FTW” – you irk me. Echoing John’s sentiments, I’m a little perplexed as to how Adele managed to win this one. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Adele, but she only sang one song (with laryngitis) and was forced to bow out of the second one due to aforementioned laryngitis. It was an ok performance – but not her best. But alas, Adele is popular with our readers – laryngitis or not! I’m with Vogue on this one…I’m such a boy band fangirl, and I’m ridiculously excited to see NKOTBSB here in Indy later this month I actually thought they put on the best “show” of all the musical acts – you could tell they had put some thought into their performance, and hadn’t just flown in at the last minute and been like “Ok, we’re here, give us some dancers and we’ll do a quick run-through.” Hanson was a nice addition to the performance show – definitely better lead-in music than Harold Wheeler’s many variations on the DWTS theme. I really enjoyed Michael & Delta as well – wish I could say the same for the Black Eyed Peas. But you guys already know how I feel about them – let’s just say I found a very apt comment from someone on Twitter that likened them to a venereal disease. Jennifer & Toby seemed a little unenthusiastic to me, and I thought Chris Brown did ok given the firestorm surrounding his performance. Rounding out the dreaded write-in category: Josh/Johs/Joe Groban/Grobin/Grodin/etc. (8), David Garrett (3), Katherine Jenkins (1), Pitbull/Neyo/Nayer (1), Selena Gomez (1), Pia Toscano *snicker* (1), and “they all sucked” (1). One performance I kinda wish someone had mentioned – James Blunt. I thought his performance with Val & Daria dancing was one of the most entertaining for me, and seriously – that guy has come a long way since his first album, when he was a total Debbie Downer. Did he get some action or something? The dude has rainbows coming out of his ass these days!
Marianya: Courtney, Vogue… I guess I’m jumping on that fangirly boyband bandwagon. The most memorable musical act for me was NKOTBSB hands down. I mean it seems like it was prepared and created for the DWTS stage as opposed to just something tossed together or taken from a past tour act, that I likey, I likey a lot.
Heidi: I was inordinately fond of that one Hanson boy’s suspenders. I don’t know WHY I like such things or why I get fascinated by them. In any case, I found Hanson’s presence on that one performance show lent the show a new and different feel from usual. Now, I think I generally HATE theme nights on principle, but I liked their inclusion and I loved some of the songs they played. I dunno, it was new and different in a way that I liked for a change.
This past weekend, Mark Ballas and Cherl Burke travelled to Atlantic City, New Jersy to host a Pool Party at the Pool After Dark nightclub inside the Harrah’s Resort. Reality TV caught up with Mark and interviewed on him his plans for the summer (full out promotion for the album), Dancing With The Stars, and his relationship with Pia Toscano. Here’s a take from the link. I like what he says about ballroom dancing and how it’s been revitalized. I hope that is always the case! Check out what he says on Pia too. I think these two are definitely an item unless the two are having a lot of fun feeding the press to keep their careers in the news which wouldn’t surprise me either.
You appear very close with your Dancing with the Stars fellow cast mates, do you share a special bond with them?
Yeah, a lot of us are really close.
How has Dancing with the Stars impacted the world of ballroom dancing?
I think it’s been revitalized. It was really big back in the day, you know Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly kind of thing and then it kind of died out for a minute; I think people kind of forgot about it and I think it’s been a pleasure and an honor for all of us, myself and Cheryl and all the other pros to be a part of a show that’s kind of brought it back to life because it’s fun, it’s a great workout, it’s a great way to get in shape and it’s also good for the soul and it keeps you revitalized so it’s been an honor to be a part of this show.
Are you and Pia Toscano officially an item?
We’re good. We’re good, I’ll give you that! (Laughs)
Adding: You can view Cheryl and Mark dancing at the Pool After Dark Party >>>>HERE .
By the way, we’d like to extend our deepest condolences to the Ballas Family, loved ones, and friends. This past weekend, Mark lost his grandfather George Charles Ballas Sr. Bewitching Ballas has written a great write-up where you can read all about him here. Mark posted this picture of himself, his Dad, and his Grandfather at twitter. Isn’t their resemblance uncanny?
Cheryl was interviewed as well by Reality TV . She talks on Dancing With Stars and the closeness she shares with her co-stars and what she does on haitus. Be sure to read more at the link because she talks of her shoe line….and a new clothing line as well.
You appear very close with your Dancing with the Stars fellow cast mates, do you share a special bond with them?
Absolutely! We’ve gone through this whole journey together; it’s been ups and downs but you know what, we’ve become so close and we’re here and we’ve known eachother since before the show started so we’re really in it together.
When you’re on hiatus from Dancing with the Stars are you able to relax?
It’s the opposite. We work year round because we all have other things that we’re doing individually and that’s the only time to do it, is on our hiatus and we do two seasons a year so it gets pretty crazy traveling a lot but we got to strike while the iron’s hot right now so we’re trying to do that.
Mark Ballas talked with MTV Seven over the weekend about Dancing With The Stars. He sums up his journey with Chelsea saying this last Season was about “artistry”. He then talks of who he’d like to see on the show next Season. He mentions Jennifer Aniston and Jim Carrey as being his hopefuls. Mark also talks on his music and how he’d like to work with American Idol stars Casey Abrams and Pia Toscano in the future. Check it out and more below.
Mark has penned his last blog (and a deep one at that!) for the Season at USA Today. He writes of how much he will miss his new best friend Chelsea and shares some song lyrics that came to mind on the way back to Los Angeles on the red eye. He also talks of his plans for the summer, how music is his passion and what drives him, and hopes to see us again at his shows this summer and for Season 13. More below and at the link.
Let me assure you: We had the time of our lives. I’ve learned a lot from Chelsea and I truly cherish the time she and I spent competing this season. Even though we’ve come across a new turning point and we will take different forks in the road, she’s a lovely person and I’m blessed to consider her a close friend for life!
As the frenzy after the finale slows down, I now get to focus on my passion, which is my music. I had a lot of fun interviews when I was in New York with MTV, VH1, and a few others, and we’re gearing up to play some shows this summer. Those dates should be released soon on my website and social media sites, so please check for those if you want to catch me play live. One fun event I’m really looking forward to playing this summer is the Martin Owner’s Club Annual Event, held at the Martin Guitar Factory in Nazareth, Pa. It’s such an honor to be supported by the music icon that is Martin!
As I’ve said many times before, music is what drives me. Even when I dance, I consider my movement an extension of the music, with the musicality predicting what movements will occur. The biggest difference between the two, music and dance, is that dance requires you to color between the lines determined by the rules of the dance discipline and music allows you to do whatever you feel on a blank canvas.
It’s been a great ride, Team Kanenball. I greatly appreciate all the love and support (and birthday wishes!) that I received this week and all season long. The journey was memorable and the memories will last a lifetime. I hope to catch some of you this summer at one of my shows and also this fall for Season 13. Happy summer everyone!
Pia Toscano also spoke out about Mark being in the Finals on the show and their friendship at Radar On-line. She says they are dating their careers and nothing more. Below is a take. You can also hear her talk about it in some audio at the link as well.
“We’re very supportive of each other,” Pia gushed about Mark. “I’m so proud of him – that he made it to the finals – and I’m sure he’s very proud of me as well.
“Right now though we are both dating our careers. We’re so involved in what we do. It’s an important time for me to really ride this wave and work really hard, so I have to stay really focused.”
And when it comes to all those late night ‘I love you’ Tweets that fly between the two?
“He’s just really sweet – he loves a lot of people!” Pia insisted. “We’re just very close friends.”
Ok kids, here’s some fun stuff for you to get you prepped for the holiday weekend Looks like you guys have got body parts, romance, and casting rumors on the brain again! Gonna be interesting to see what else crops up in the search engine, now that the show is over…I have a feeling it’s gonna be pretty random…can’t wait!
Who is Chelsie dating?
Beats me. She’s been linked by the tabloids to just about everyone, from Louis Vito, to Mark, and now to Romeo. With her, it’s hard telling, since she does an exceptionally good job of keeping her emotions and personal life out of the public eye. For all we know, she could be dating some good little Mormon boy back home, and all of the above liasons are just red herrings. But hey – food for thought
Hines Ward & Kym Johnson. In case you’ve been living under a rock
Yep, he has one on his upper left ribcage – I can’t tell exactly what it is, but it appears to be some sort of red, blue…swirly…thing. It was done by tattoo artist Peter Koskela, and from what I’m gleaning from the Maks boards (which I don’t frequent, so I can’t vouch for their authenticity), it was done during his stint on Bachelor Ukraine. But that’s all I’ve got…maybe one of the Maksettes can help out?
She played Stephanie Tanner on Full House, and she was a cast rumor for season 12…which means she could still be a cast rumor for season 13, since it can take a few seasons for these rumors to materialize into something legit. I’ve heard that she wants Derek as her partner if she does the show, but I’m wondering if they would actually give him to her – seems like the past few seasons, he’s been a bit of a bargaining tool for TPTB to lure big names (Nicole Scherzinger, Jennifer Grey) to the show. If they’re holding out for another BIG name (that is also demanding Derek as their partner), sorry Jodi – you may get stuck with Louis or Tony.
Kym Johnson abs
Though not quite as awe-inspiring as the Awesome Boobage(TM), they, along with Kym’s legs, are one of the 7 Wonders of the World. I wish I could say that there was some magical trick Kym has for getting a taut tummy that I could share with the rest of us normal folk, but according to iFit & Healthy, it sounds like Kym’s hot bod is just the result of a lot of exercise with a personal trainer. However, I do know that a lot of the pros on the show (Karina in particular) are pretty fond of the It Cosmetics Abs in a Box Kit – so if you’d rather fake it than put in the time at the gym, I say go for it
Chelsea Kane-Mark Ballas romance
*sigh* REALLY, guys? Officially, Chelsea is dating Stephen Colletti. Mark is officially/unofficially/who knows/etc. dating Pia Toscano (or is he…?). Yes, Chelsea & Mark got smoochy in some of their routines. Yes, Chelsea is the featured girl in Mark’s “Hotwire” video. But they’re both denying any hanky-panky. Let’s put this one to bed, PUH-LEASE.
Mike Catherwood naked/nude/shirtless
You little horndogs Not that I blame you…Mike’s bod is indeed a hot one. However, shirtless pix of Psycho Mike are a rareity (for whatever reason, dude doesn’t like to show off his goods – lord knows why), let alone nude ones. But I did manage to dig up a pretty good shirtless one snapped by TMZ as Mike was running on the beach in LA. Mmmm mmmm mmm…I dunno about you guys, but god I love a well-muscled guy with a sprinkling of tats!
So last night, John & Heidi taught me how to check the site stats and see what the top search terms were for the site this week. And boy – is it interesting just what you kids are wanting to know So as a new feature, I’m going to go through top search terms at PureDWTS and answer your burning questions – and also some not-so-burning ones that I just find amusing So just what did you guys want to know about this week?…
Is Hines Ward married?
This was the top searched term for the site this week – and it only cropped up yesterday, after the story broke about Hines & a lady friend getting handcuffed under suspicion of grand theft auto. Unfortunately, the answer to this question seems murky at best. First I tried searching for a marriage license or a divorce decree in Fulton county, GA (Hines’ county of residence), and it did show some public records for Hines, but I didn’t feel like shelling out the $19.95 fee to see them in their entirety…sorry guys So I had to go the gossip route on this one. According to Player Wives (which I would take with a grain of salt), he was allegedly married at some point to Simone Ward, the mother of his son Jaden. However, rumors started swirling of their separation back in late 2008, after Hines was spotted spending some time with another lady. That same article references a claim from Gossip Online (which of course I cannot find) that they’ve either been separated or divorced for at least a year now. So due to the lack of mainstream speculation about whether Hines was creeping around on wifey, I would venture a guess that they are probably no longer romantically involved, at the very least. We all know that the gossip mags would just jump on that one if they thought they had something solid to go on ;-) But I must say – Simone is quite striking. Very pretty lady.
Mark Ballas hand gesture/obscene gesture/rude gesture
I don’t know why I find this slightly funny, but I do Maybe it’s just funny out of context. Anywho…this one was discussed at length by our readers in the comments section of Vogue’s post about whether Mark & Chelsea’s risk-taking was hurting their chances of winning. Many believed it was obscene; others insisted it was benign. According to Mark’s mom Shirley’s Facebook, it was meant to be a “rolling the dice” gesture for a risky paso. Tom Bergeron also weighed in on the gesture in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, and of course added his own brand of Tom humor to the explanation The official word: it was meant to be “rolling the dice”. The Courtney opinion? Glad it wasn’t obscene after all, but maybe next time don’t pick a gesture that could be so easily misinterpreted within context.
This one definitely came out of left-field – we first reported that jockey Chantal was a possible contestant for season 11 back in August of last year. Obviously, that has yet to materialize into anything solid. So I’m wondering if horse racing fans just have Chantal on the brain, with the Kentucky Derby upon us…or maybe you guys know something we don’t?
I’m hoping & praying that you guys are searching this in order to find my post that explains why Dial Idol doesn’t work for DWTS, because as of last week this has been declared a 4-letter word here at PureDWTS If so, please – feel free to refer any renegade believers freaking out over so-and-so being in the bottom on that blasted site to my post to show them they probably shouldn’t put too much stock in what it says :-D Once again, if it just happens to be correct – pure coincidence. Not a genius prediction.
DWTS Music List
Glad you guys come to us for the rundown on the tunes you’ve heard on the show As always, you can find all the music from the show right here, or by clicking on the “DWTS Music” link on the top right-hand side of the page. John usually posts each week’s music on Monday after the show wraps in the Mountain time zone.
How old is Shirley Ballas?
The answer: cougar Just kidding! According to Shirley’s facebook page, she was born in 1960…and I know for a fact that she’s a Virgo (long story short – Corky jokingly blames their divorce on her zodiac sign), so she hasn’t had her birthday yet this year…so Shirley is 50. And looks fabulous!
Mark Ballas girlfriend
*sigh* Seriously guys? You’re gonna make me utter not one, but TWO forbidden words in one post? Alright, just this once…for those of you who have either been living under a rock or are fortunate enough to NOT have the ground-breaking Mark & Pia performance on last week’s results show rammed down your throat, Mark has allegedly (and I say allegedly because they both have elected to be uber-coy about the whole thing, despite some pretty incriminating media coverage *eye roll*) been spending some quality time with ousted Idol contestant Pia Toscano. She was in the audience next to Corky on Monday night’s show this week. Alright, no more P-word. Man, you guys really had Ballas on the brain this week!
Louis Van Amstel boyfriend
Ooh…this is a tough one. He publicly admitted having one on the Chelsea Lately show in 2009, and allegedly pointed him out in the audience on the Ellen show, but of course, I can’t find a clip. But hey, he’s a pretty enthusiastic (and verbose) Tweeter…what’s to say he won’t spill the beans if you ask nicely?
Heidi here – I found Courtney and she finally finished her part. She made some excuse about being a good girlfriend – but for 24 hours?? Dayum. I will also say that I tried and tried and TRIED to come up with some form of “dirty old man” award for Len – that whole little voice over with the picture-in-picture thing he did for Hines and Kym on the “Road to the Finals” was just KILLING ME in it’s bizarre, chuckly tone. Seriously killing me. Killing me so bad that…I got nuthin’. I wish I could think of a prize to give to the commenter who comes up with the best line…but I got nuthin’ there either. So, give it a shot just for fun. On with the show…
The “Elephant in the Room” Award: Pia Toscano’s performance
Courtney: They hyped this one for all it was worth – the commercials, the near-constant mentions on the performance show. Hell, they even made a point of showing us Mark & Pia acting all “chummy” (with a sulking Karina off to the side) before the commerical break. But don’t anyone DARE ask Pia about Mark, or vice-versa!!! No no no no…that’s not of our business, she’s just here because she’s so insanely talented that DWTS & Idol put aside their mutual hatred (and ironclad legal agreements) in order to allow her to perform. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact she’s been spotted out on dates with him on several occasions – and that was only a happy accident that TMZ just happened to be at the same place at the same time…more than once. Shame on us for even being curious!!! Did you guys sense the sarcasm there? My point: don’t ram these two down our throats at every opportunity, and then act all taken aback when someone inquires about their liasion. DWTS viewers are not dumb – they can smell when something’s rotten in the state of Denmark.
Heidi:Especially when Mark and Pia are pictured having dinner with Harry Levin of TMZ fame. I felt bad for Tom – don’t think he really wanted to play their game. But it also occurs to me that the new singing show airing on NBC at the same time could be part of this deal. The Voice?? Why else would AI and DWTS team up? I can’t imagine they are that invested in pimping either Mark or Pia that much – and really AI wins more with that one. Don’t they have right of first refusal on record deals with the Top 10 or so? Sure does make sense to keep her in the public eye. Good lord I’m a cynic. But yeah, Mark and Pia have really given up their right to act coy at this point. And I’m Sooooo over it. In any case, we’ll probably never see her with Mark again. At 11 mil viewers, the Voice is no threat to AI or DWTS. Mission accomplished.
Musical Guest We’d Most Like to See Back as a Contestant: Donnie Wahlberg
Courtney: When I first saw Peta tweeting about she & Anna performing with Donnie & Joey from NKOTB, I think I groaned aloud…something like “This oughta be good…NOT.” Then I actually saw it happen – and I have to admit, I was slack-jawed by the end of the short little routine they did and found myself wanting to see more of Donnie & Peta dancing! Did you guys see this guy’s hip action & arms??? INSANELY GOOD. Especially if he only had a few hours of practice with Peta. Hell, while Joey was (and still is) adorable, now I kinda wish they had gotten Donnie for season 1 of DWTS instead – he could have mopped the floor with Kelly Monaco. Sadly, while there seem to be many others on Twitter campaigning for a Donnie & Peta partnership on DWTS13, I doubt it’s gonna happen anytime soon – he’s tied up with Blue Bloods, which is on CBS. *sigh* Then again, DWTS seems to have climbed into bed with Idol (which is on Fox), so maybe it’s not completely out of the question…;-)
Heidi:Am I missing something? Why wouldn’t Donnie be considered just as big a ringer as Nicole, Sabrina, Mel B and Lance? I mean, people got on Nicole for Pussycat Dolls, Sabrina for Cheetah Girls and Mel B for that silly British Girl band, Girls Aloud…I mean Spice Girls. Why is the ringer label not popping up if it’s a boy band? Lance never got it much either. Don’t get it – they have the same experiences. I have a feeling this is another case of it being okay for the guys but not the girls. But then, as a music snob who dated musicians before I wised up, I know next to nothing about either BSB or NKOTB. All THAT said – I don’t mind a ringer. Especially after this season.
Courtney: Oh I don’t doubt that there will be cries of “ringer!” if and when this does happen – and that’s a big IF. But I daresay, with all the buzz I’m seeing on Twitter, it would not surprise me if his name cropped up in some of our DWTS13 Casting Rumors posts. And I have no problems with that…Donnie seems like he’d be entertaining to watch. And he’s still kinda eye-candyish…in a rugged, bad boy sorta way. I think he’s made my “list”…yeah, THAT list
Heidi: Oh, I have no problem with ringers as long as EVERYONE gets the same criteria applied to them. Somehow, though, I think that someone is only truly a ringer if they happen to be dancing with Derek Hough. The problem for me was never that someone was a ringer, but the labeling of everyone Derek danced with a ringer. Which is just, sorry, ignorant.
The Ego A-Go-Go Award: Donny Osmond
Courtney: For someone that won the show 3 SEASONS AGO, Donny is sure acting the part of a recent MBT trophy winner pretty well – he’s cropping up and offering his “commentary” to pretty much anyone that will listen, and by commentary, I mean him accusing this season’s male contestants of having a “big ego”…and reminding us that he won season 9. I know, I know – many of you claim he’s “just joking”…but if that is indeed the case, it’s getting old…or rather, it’s already gotten old, and now it’s just kinda annoying. Not quite sure why he keeps repeating this one…is it because he’s scared that he might loose his title of “last dude to win DWTS” to one of this season’s guys? Hmmmm…
Heidi:He needs a mirror check, fer real. Then he was saying that Chelsea looks like a pro to him – as if he’s qualified to know what pro dancing looks like. But then, he dances next to Marie 8 shows a week in Vegas – I bet Chelsea does look pretty good.
Production Screw Up of the Week: the Camera work on Kirstie’s Samba Package
Heidi: Note to the producers – giving the camera to the field producer who shakes like he’s got DT’s is not a way to show that you are a high class operation. Dang, people, the shaking in the effort to get the shot made the whole thing nauseating. So, did someone have a hard night of partying? Undiagnosed Parkinson’s? What? Maybe an investment in a steadycam is a good idea.
Courtney: Looks like the B-squad of Muppet & primate camera operators are back in action in order to cut down the overhead costs…since they blew their budget on musical guests this past week. I’m gonna blame Animal for this one – I bet he’s a huge Kirstie fan, and was excitedly chanting “SAMBA! SAMBA! SAMBA!” while trying to get the shot.
Brooke Burke DUH! Line of the Week: “Were you hoping for 9′s?” Said to Kirstie and Maks AFTER their package clearly stated they were hoping for Nines.
Heidi: Sorry, Brooke fans, my eyes rolled right out of my head. No Brooke, I’m sure they were hoping for fives or sixes. Jaysus. I blame the voices in her head – they can’t be too sharp either or she would have better questions to ask.
Courtney: DEET-DAH-DEE. The problem with canned responses – they don’t work if the context changes. So if Kirstie mentions something beforehand about wanting all 9′s, you better have a backup response planned, Brookie…hell, you can always use the uber-generic “So how did it feel to get out there and perform this week?” or even “Do you guys want some cheesecake?” Just make sure you only use the backup phrase once in a broadcast, lest you look like a complete nincompoop.
The “Don’t Screw With Me, I can go to Videotape at Anytime” Award for Revenge is a Dish Best Served…NOW!! – Tom Bergeron, for cutting to video of Bruno in Elton’s Video right after Bruno gets WAY too carried away with Kendra, calling her a stripper and waving dollar bills at her, among other things.
Heidi: Bwahahaha….this was seriously priceless, and should teach Bruno to reign it in a bit, as the producers can cut to that video AT ANY TIME. Dude, you best be careful with what you call people – we’ve seen your attire. I especially loved the black swimsuit number that looked like something out of a gay porn movie.
Courtney: What the hell WAS that black thing? Looked vaguely like a diaper onesie…that the biker from Village People would have worn had he been incontinent. Some of those dance moves were something else, too…vaguely seizure-ish. Is this where Gaga gets her inspiration? Anywho, I doubt Kendra is gonna go anywhere near Bruno with a ten-foot pole after seeing that video…not that she would have beforehand, anyway. As far as Bruno’s concerned…he’d prolly rather leave Kendra and just take the 10 foot pole ZING!!! Too much?
Heidi: Too much? Are you kidding?
Tom Bergeron Line O’the Night: “Bruno said, after seeing his younger self, isn’t it a shame about gravity?” Honorable Mention: “It’s like having imaginary friends” said in reference to him reading his lines about the couples behind him and turning to see they weren’t there.
Heidi: Tommy was on a roll…and apparently Bruno displeased him at some point during the night, because he had a bullseye on his chest. LOVED the line about gravity, but it was also especially hilarious to watch him on the results show turn to see no couples on the stage behind him. And turn again to find them still not there. And again…I think he turned around three times and none of the couples were ever there. It was hilarious. I expect to see a porn clip of the stage manager who caused this on next weeks show. “Roll videotape!”
Courtney: Poor Tom. First he was tasked with asking the uncomfortable “Mark & Pia” question, and then he had to stall for time when there were no couples behind him. Luckily for us – Tom is a master time-filler And a master of putting judges on ego trips in their places. He’s done it to Len and Bruno…the question is: will he have the cojones to dredge up footage of a topless Carrie Ann from her days as a bald pole-dancer on Madonna’s Girlie Show tour? Or how bout a clip from her turn as a *gasp* topless Vegas showgirl in Showgirls? And there’s always the footage of her playing naughty Japanese schoolgirl Fook Mi (or is it Fook Yu?) in the third Austin Powers movie. If I were Carrie Ann, I’d be on my best behavior
The “It’s the Charleston, I can’t help myself” Award for Out Dancing Your Partner: Mark Ballas
Heidi: Sweetie, we know you’re a pro. And your dance with Chelsea was actually good – until we got to the Charleston section where you just cut loose and out dance her. Calm it down a bit, would ya? Chelsea is a GOOD dancer, but when you out dance her like that it makes her look less talented than she is. The plus side is, of course, that one can make a GREAT drinking game out of the moments where you out dance her. Some nights, the result is a slight buzz, other nights result in severe alcohol poisoning. This was a “slight buzz” night, so all hope is not lost.
Courtney: Man…glad I didn’t try to play the Mark Ballas drinking game last season. If I had, I’d probably be using this site to solicit a black-market liver donation But man, Mark does seem to love the Charleston – or really any dance that gives him the excuse to do crazy legs and pull crazy faces. And that section really did highlight the contrast between pro & celeb – poor Chelsea, god love her, was moving so gingerly, so as not to exacerbate Mark’s ankle injury; Mark was out there dancing like it was 1999 (I <3 Prince…another guilty pleasure ;-)). I mean, I give the guy props for soldiering through his injury…but was it really necessary to go this balls-to-the-walls? He could have toned it down a bit and still had a great performance.
The Award for Saccharine Sweet Confessionals, Season 12: Hines and Kym
Heidi: I LIKE Saccharine Sweet!! Too much sugar makes me nauseous. Seriously, since the beginning of the season Hines and Kym have been doing their own personal version of the end zone dance in the confessional and I keep meaning to mention how cute and endearing it is. Complete with “Whoop Whoop”s. I think this is Hines getting it out of his system because he said his momma doesn’t like it when he does the real thing. So cute.
Courtney: Methinks it’s only a matter of time before they’re doing the end zone dance…in the bedroom. HIYOOOO!
The Award for the Worst Unintended (I think) Innuendo in the History of the Show: Hines Ward for a comment SO bad that I can’t actually explain it here.
Heidi: Does anyone know what I’m talking about, or am I the only one with an extremely dirty mind?? I seriously can’t repeat it. I will just say that Hines was talking about singing in the shower, and his fans…and he uses a word that, well, puts the conversation in a very dirty context. Puts a whole different spin on…showers. The producers didn’t show it in his package with Kym, but it did slip through in one of those deals where they show clips of various celebs rehearsing right before they go to commercial. I watched it three times, because I couldn’t quite believe I heard it. I’m STILL wondering if I actually heard it. Help me.
Courtney: Oh no – you certainly weren’t all alone in that one. Watching DWTS this week quickly went from PG to X-rated after I heard that one…and I’m not even sure the clean interpretation of what he said really makes sense. Maybe Hines is lonely…he’s made it clear he wants to smooch on Kym, he got up close & personal with a pillow while practicing last week, and then there’s this phrase. Sounds to me like homeboy needs some loving.
The Blatant Honesty is the Best Comedy Award, Week 6: Kendra Wilkinson for her “My boobs aren’t what God gave me.”
Heidi: I have to give the girl props – her response to Louis was just priceless. I laughed out loud. Now, the jury is out on whether she was intentionally hilarious, or it was just a fortunate accident, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt. This is one of those times that the lack of a filter paid off in a big way.
Courtney: I’m gonna go with “happy accident” on this one. But one thing I have to credit Kendra with is not being ashamed of having some work done…there are women in the entertainment industry who are seen on a Monday with B-cups and then again on a Friday with D-cups (and no assistance from a bra, mind you)…and they swear up and down that they haven’t had implants. Rigggght…you just had a growth spurt. A really fast one. At age 34. Kendra, props to you for not denying your silicone friends. And for your verbal diarrhea actually paying the dividends this time
The TMI Award – Week 6: Chelsie Hightower for her “I have to pee” in the behind the scenes of the performance show.
Heidi: This was actually a cute exchange. Chelsie looks at the producer right before she and Romeo dance and says “I have to pee”. His response? “Now is really not a good time”. The part that struck me funniest was her “I’m aware of that” in response to him. LOL – but girl, why did you TELL him you had to pee if you knew there was nothing either you or he could do about it? Just a random observation you felt like you had to share?
Courtney: Court’s conspiracy theory: she had a sinking feeling that Romes was gonna pull something during their waltz (in this case, a kiss), and this was a last-ditch effort to get out of it. Not that a delay while Chelsie peed would have stopped him – that boy seems like he’s head-over-heels for Chelsie and is bound & determined to win her affections. Kinda cute – but kinda uncomfortable for Chelsie, obviously. Lord knows I’ve made my fair share of dumb excuses in order to avoid spending time with guys who’s affections I didn’t always return…”Sorry dude, I’d love to go to dinner with you, but I’ve gotta clean the grout in my bathroom.”
The Inigo Montoya “Inconceivable” Award for Not Knowing what A Word Actually Means: Bristol Palin and “advice”
Heidi: So, Bristol’s advice to Chelsea? Make it to the final. Ummmm….how do we explain this word “advice” to Bristol? By saying that making it to the final is the RESULT of good advice, not the advice itself?? Like, “always have fun when dancing” or “bitch slap Mark when he over dances you” or “don’t talk about giving the middle finger to ‘haters’” is good advice?
Courtney: That advice is second in crappiness only to the ultimate in useless advice: “Win the MBT.” Makes me laugh that they even decided to have Bristol give her commentary, since she only made it to the final based on sympathy from the judges and some particularly passionate voters…as opposed to the dance skills of some of her fellow commentators.