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PureDWTS Season 19, Week 5 – Power Rankings

And this is the week that the hammer drops and suddenly the judges are “over” some of the dance crushes they have had so far this season – particularly Julianne and her crush on Tommy.  Hate to say it, but you only have yourselves to blame, guys – when you gush over the same people doing the same rudimentary stuff week after week, you can’t expect them to improve…and then it’s kinda lame to suddenly say “I’m bored, I want more.” But in the same token, you also don’t have to be over-the-top mean – and I think they got that way with a few of the couples tonight.  They seemed to lose sight of the fact that these were NOT the regular pairings, which is a tough enough row to hoe, and on top of that, they were all doing these bizarre dance styles that none of them are extensively trained in.  Was this REALLY the best week to drop that hammer, stooges?

So I guess the asshattery from Julianne, Carrie Ann, and Bruno made me thankful for Jessie J, who at least seemed to try and find the positive in everyone’s routines while still giving a useful critique – she is a judge on The Voice UK, after all, so I think she felt obligated to be constructive.  Also quite impressed with her ability to not only sing live (!!!), but also do some dancing at the same time.  As I said on Twitter – it’s so rare to find singers that actually sing live and don’t just lip sync, let along singers that sing live and dance as well.  The only other singer I can think of off the the top of my head that also does both is Usher…so she’s in good company.

So I guess all this talk about the judges tonight brings me to pose this question to everyone: do we really need Len? Next week will be the 4th week out of 6 that Len hasn’t been at the judges’ table – and I’m not really noticing his absence.  I’m almost wondering, what with his sorta-kinda farewell speech on the finale last season, if he originally was not gonna come back at all this season – and TPTB somehow guilted him into doing a few shows just to maintain some consistency.

But anyway – no elim tonight, but there is one next week, based on last week’s votes, this week’s scores and votes, and next week’s scores.  As our longtime readers know, the more total points given out = the smaller the margins = the greater the likelihood of a “shocking” elimination.  It really becomes a battle of the fanbases – who’s getting the votes vs. who isn’t.  I don’t care if you’re at the bottom of the leaderboard – in a massive-points-dump-to-calculate-elimination scenario like this one, the playing field becomes a lot more level.  To give you an idea of what crazy sh*t could happen – Sabrina was voted off the all-star season in a week where she was only 1/2 point away from a perfect score…but the elim was based on multiple weeks of scores and votes.  Vote, vote, vote, kids – even if your favorite is in the lead.

1.) Alfonso & Cheryl (Witney) – Aaaaand we’re back to nitpicking Alfonso to death, I see – can’t let him get too confident now, can we PTB? Once again, he dances FLAWLESSLY – and in a style that’s totally different than anything we’ve seen from him so far. He nails the technique (those heel things he was doing at the beginning are insanely difficult – the bf actually got a hairline fracture attempting it during a showcase routine), he nails the drama (loved the dust – just that added drama every time he clapped his hands), and he nails the partnering…and all Carrie Ann and Bruno wanna talk about is the distance between his neck and his shoulder??? Seriously, you stooges – what’s the complaint gonna be next week? He’s moving his ears in a strange way when he’s dancing? His pupils are too dilated? He’s flaring his nostrils too much? Because this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous. I guess I see what they’re trying to do – trying to level the playing field, make it seem like Alfonso isn’t running away with this season (even though he really is), but there’s gonna reach a point when even the most dim viewers are gonna say “Ok, that’s just being petty.” And sorry, but 8’s for a dance that good are just ASSININE…especially when they specifically say Sadie missed a few steps in the beginning of her routine, and give her 9’s across the board. She earned her 9’s – but so did Alfonso. Oh well – at least he still gets THUNDEROUS applause after every dance he does. 😀 Read more..

October 14, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at!

PureDWTS Season 19 – Partner Switch Spoiler??? *Court Plays P.I.*

Random fact about Court: I’m actually really, REALLY good at doing internet sleuthing.  Case in point? I found out my father got remarried when one day, out of morbid curiosity, I decided to see if he had a marriage license on file at the Palm Beach County Clerk’s Office.  That revelation sure made for an interesting phone call.  I also once located the divorce decree of an ex I had that claimed he had never been married.  Lesson learned: do not lie to Court, because Court will go digging for the truth. But I digress…

…so I started hearing murmurings last night about Derek being spotted at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport.  Some fans were wondering if he had to travel to meet up with his switch partner.  So I thought to myself, “Why not see if we can figure this out using just the internet?” So armed only with my iPhone, I set about the mission of finding out just who Derek’s partner is for the switch.

Based on Sadie’s instagram post yesterday, I knew she was going to be home in West Monroe, Louisiana for the week.  So my obvious question: was Derek flying to West Monroe to meet up with Sadie? This contradicted the data Heidi & I collected from Topsy, which clearly had Lea in the lead to partner with Derek.  So I decided to see if the evidence was there to support Derek actually being paired with Sadie.  Enter Twitter: at about 8:56 EST last night (7:55 CST, which is the time zone Dallas-Ft. Worth is in), a girl named Betsy tweeted a cute picture of her dad on a plane with Derek:


And according to my GateGuru app (which is amazeballs, you should totally download it if you fly at all – if for no other reason than to find the Cinnabon in any airport), there was a flight from Dallas-Ft. Worth to Monroe Regional airport last night, departing at 7:55 PM:


So the timeline fits: Betsy’s dad could have spotted Derek across the aisle after boarding, said “Hey man, my daughter digs ya.  Mind if I get a pic?” before they even started taxiing, sent it to his daughter before putting his phone in airplane mode, and she could have posted it to Twitter by the time the plane was in the air.  Now I know some of you hardcore naysayers will say “I’m sure there were lots of flights departing DFW around 8 pm, Courtney.  How do you know he was headed to Monroe???” Well, without getting to stalker-y, one of the other pics Betsy posted to her Twitter timeline was her in her cheerleading uniform.  Not gonna post it here, but her t-shirt (fairly) clearly says “West Monroe Rebels”:


Now, what are the odds that Derek would be at DFW, on a plane around 7:55 PM, seated across the aisle from a guy from West Monroe, at the same time that a flight was leaving that airport for Monroe, LA, and NOT ACTUALLY BE HEADED TO MONROE, LA? Infinitesimal. If the truth comes out that he wasn’t headed to Monroe last night and Sadie is not his switch partner, I, Courtney, will post a picture of Maksyl in their most schmaltzy, fauxmantic pose as my Twitter profile picture for an entire week.  That’s how confident I am in my research. You can call me Swagnum, P.I. 😎

So now bears the question: if all of our research pointed to Derek getting Lea, then why is he with Sadie? Here’s a few explanations Heidi & I came up with:

Possibility #1: A lot of the #DWTSLeaDerek tweeting was spam, and whatever method TPTB are using to count the tweets managed to weed it out.

Because we here at Pure are not made of moola, we can’t afford the fancy schmancy tech that can recognize and dismiss spam Tweets – but it’s entirely possible that DWTS can afford it and utilize it.  And believe you me, there was A LOT of spamming going on, across the board on all partnership combinations.  There’s a reason why I only tweeted for the switch once per day, and I tried to switch up the wording each time.

Possibility #2: Those who were using the ABC website to vote for the switch were voting a LOT differently than those manually tweeting out their picks.

I tend to think this one isn’t as plausible, because there would have to be  some REALLY incongruous voting going on in order to negate some of the massive tweet totals we were seeing.

Possibility #3: Val was unable to travel to Monroe to rehearse with Sadie this week.

Similar to the same scuzzlebutt that may have prevented us from seeing Meryl & Derek do the Argentine tango last season, perhaps Val just wasn’t able to rehearse out-of-town this week.  Can’t imagine why, but dammit PTB – if this was the case, it  should have been communicated up front.  Just like last season.

Possibility #4: Somebody put their foot down and said “No way!” to a Val-Sadie partnership.

Probably the most controversial explanation, but it’s one I could see happening.  As we have all seen, Sadie comes from a very conservative family – and Mark has done a fantastic job of not overstepping any boundaries of propriety with Sadie so far this season.  Ditto for Derek and Bethany – the two pros with underage partners know how to toe the line.  Now Val, on  the other hand – we’ve seen the fauxmancing and handsy-ness with Janel, and Sadie has actually said that she’s “intimidated” by Val.  Now remember, this was the family that was totally ready to walk out on a multimillion-dollar contract with A&E when they threatened to pull Phil from the cast of Duck Dynasty – you really think they would have any qualms with pulling Sadie out of a celebrity dancing show if they felt strongly enough about her NOT being paired with someone they didn’t feel was appropriate? And judging from the main demographic of DWTS (middle-aged, conservative-leaning women), do you really think DWTS wants to risk losing viewers if Sadie walks? Plus, Sadie’s actually a decent dancer, and her name & Alfonso’s are the two I see mentioned the most on social media.  So I guess the point I’m getting at is – if Mama & Papa Robertson didn’t want Sadie dancing with Val, then I doubt TPTB would be dumb enough to push the issue…and would probably happily accommodate their desire for her to have a different partner.

Possibility #5: TPTB don’t give a sh*t about the voting and are doing as they please.


So what does that mean for the rest of the partnerships? I’m guessing that Bethany is still with Mark, because that was the highest vote-getting combo of all (not that it matters to the PTB, who ignored the truly highest vote-getting combo of last season); that leaves Artem with Janel and Val with Lea.  Keeping it “all in the fam”, y’all.  Lord knows what’s going on with the female pro/male celeb partnerships – doesn’t Antonio rehearse in Memphis? Anyone see Witney, Emma, Peta, or Allison at the Memphis airport? 😛

Well, all will be revealed in 12 hours, anyway – be sure to watch Pure tomorrow morning as Heidi will be live-blogging the announcement of the switch pairings, starting at 8 AM EST.  I’ll be manning the PureDWTS twitter account, and Vogue will be holding down the fort over at PDH and the PDH Twitter account.  Happy happy happy 😀

October 8, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at!

PureDWTS Season 18 End-of-Season Awards – Which Guest Judge Was the Best?

So now that the voting is closed on our biannual end-of-season awards, it’s time to reveal the results – and for me and my fellow mods to weigh in :-) So let’s get to it…


Courtney: As I think most of us suspected, Kenny ran away with this one – he seemed to be the one guest judge this season that everyone seemed to universally agree was both qualified to judge and would actually give good feedback.  And he did – my only complaint is that they held off until week 9 to have him judge, and I think by that point the feedback the judges give is almost universally positive and you rarely hear much actual criticism…so I think I would have liked him a bit earlier in the competition when he could have given some really good advice, and I wish they would have saved one of the softer judges (like Robin) for the week 9 gushing and parade of 10’s.  I actually voted for Ricky on this one, because I kinda dug that he seemed to refuse to conform to the judges’ predetermined rhetoric for each couple – the judges may have been raking Charlie & Sharna across the coals for their paso, but Ricky wasn’t afraid to say “I see what you’re saying, but I totally loved it! TEN!!!!” Not at all surprised at who ended up at the bottom of the list – although I do find it a bit funny that Redfoo beat out Donny 😛

Heidi: I’m guessing the Donny fans have learned their lesson about this site and aren’t darkening our doors anymore. Although, congrats to them, they are no longer the worst fan group to bug the shit out of us. :-) Kenny Ortega has CRED. Even the pros were thrilled to be dancing in front of him…and he has the ability to give them jobs, if they play their cards right. Hey, maybe he’ll make a Meryl and Maks movie. :::snort::: Although, I will say…the acting was decent. 😉

Vogue: I may be nuts (well, this you already know. lol), but, I threw my vote to Redfoo. Technically, Julianne and Kenny were the best judges, but, Redfoo was so entertaining. He game me some “moments” I won’t soon forget. He brought that “Wooooooo”‘s home and especially for Amy and Derek’s dance for just what I was feeling. What a crack up. I also enjoyed Ricky Martin. He gave Charlie and Sharna a deserving 10 despite whatever the other judges were going on about. So huge kudos to him.



June 4, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at!

PureDWTS Season 18, Week 4 – Power Rankings

Tonight’s episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the phrases “these are the couples you chose!”, “keep it all in the family”, and “incestual”.  :-) I know I can’t be the only one that thought they were trying to drive the point home just a bit too hard that the couples we saw last night were the ones that we voted for – defensive much? Had they actually given Meryl to Derek (as the voters had), it would have created an entire cascade of partner changes that I think would have created an entirely different outcome last night.  But that’s neither here nor there – I guess I’m just sort of over the entire partner switch at this point. It’s over and done with, and it’s hard to dwell on what a turd the whole thing was when we’ve got Disney Week  next week :-)

I do feel the need to touch on the phrase “keep it all in the family!” though – on the surface, it seems innocuous enough, but I feel like it’s yet another barrier the Chmerkovskiy brothers (and Tony, to a lesser degree) put up between themselves and the other pros on the show.  I know they seem to have a sort of “us against the world” mentality, but more often than not, they themselves are the ones creating that environment.  “Keep it all in the family” says to me “I don’t trust the other pros.  I refuse to associate with the other pros.  I am better than the other pros. Don’t let the other pros near my partner…mine, mine, MINE!” It implies that the only family that matters is theirs – and the relationships with the other pros that they’ve cultivated over the years are worthless.  The Chmerkovskiys are a family, but so is DWTS – when the cards are down, the pros do look out for each other. I guess the reason I’m bringing it up is because I was rather surprised to hear Meryl repeat it in her package – I think it was probably just out of politeness to Val & Maks, but in the spirit of the switch (which so many of the other pros embraced with open arms – including Tony), it just seemed almost like self-segregation.

I’m left feeling rather puzzled by the judges’ comments & scoring last night – there were certain couples that got raked across the coals that I didn’t think were that bad (Candace & Tony, Charlie & Peta), couples that got treated with kid gloves (and this is probably gonna get me in trouble, but Amy & Mark), and couples that just did not really register at all with the judges (Danica & Maks, Cody & Sharna). And apparently there was fallout backstage last night after the show – a source says that Peta was in tears and was being consoled by Charlie & Sharna, and Mark was allegedly overheard saying that he thinks he’s “as good as done” next week thanks to Tony (which I don’t agree with…at least not the reasoning).  Tough day at the office for those two :-(

On the upside, we got a pretty cute opening number (that was perhaps a little heavy on the “switch” theme, but whatever), and the Macy’s Stars of Dance segment returned triumphantly with a pretty cool flamenco-infused number by Derek, Artem, Sasha, Henry, Jon Platero, & the beast that is Kathryn McCormick.  I smell some potential Emmy fodder, if the Stars of Dance segments in the coming weeks measure up to the one we saw last night! Julianne also returned as a judge, to both cheers and jeers – and WTF was up with her eyebrows??? Somebody get Anastasia Soare on the phone, because somebody is using the wrong color pencil on Miss Hough…

Bear with me as I try not to repeat too much of the stuff I said in the live discussion post last night – guess I should have held back a bit for my power rankings 😛 I went ahead and put the original pro partner names in parentheses here, as they will be the ones potentially at-risk to be eliminated next week. Read more..

April 8, 2014 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Check out some of my other work at!