Week 7 was actually so bad that I (Heidi) couldn’t come up with very many awards. I was overwhelmed. And not in a good way.
The “Who’s That Girl??” Award: Sharna Burgess for looking strikingly different in the rehearsal footage than she does on the actual show.
Heidi: She’s seriously naturally gorgeous without the make up – I think prettier without it. I think it’s the uniqueness of the dark hair and the blue eyes. Let’s hope she keeps it that way. For the love of all that is holy, DO NOT dye your hair blonde, Sharna. I know the temptation may be over whelming, but RESIST. Blonde females are a dime a dozen on that show.
Courtney: I think the makeup department may be to blame in this instance – they just love to over-smoke her eyes, just like they love to over-line Peta’s eyes, and put nude lipstick on Lindsay to make it look like she has no mouth. They have an uncanny way of making naturally gorgeous ladies look totally over-done. And as for the blondes – it’s times like this where I really miss Anna. I could always spot her red hair whipping around in that sea of blonde
The Award for Person Most likely to Earn a Punch in the Mouth (a.k.a. If you don’t STFU, I’m going to hit you HARD): Len Goodman, Sean Lowe and Ingo Rademacher for the constant mentions of Andy’s name, sometimes in a derrogatory way (Len).
Heidi: Seriously, you jackasses are that threatened by Andy?? Pissing me off, you were. Perhaps you too noticed all the females surround Andy after his dances….Kellie, Sharna, Kym, to name a few. Not to mention Derek is always high fiving him. Me thinks you dudes are jealous. Don’t know what Len’s problem was – they showed on the results show that they scored Sean because he was “better than Andy.” What the hell??
Courtney: Methinks Sean & Ingo realized that Andy was quickly nipping at their heels in terms of ability – he was improving each week, while they were…languishing. Plus Andy was gaining popularity, while they were…maybe not. Andy may not have always been a stellar dancer, but he was definitely not fading into the woodwork like either of them. As for Len – he’s just a horrible human being. That’s the conclusion I’ve reached.
The Award for Person Most in Need of A Mirror….and a new lamp….and a glimpse at his Birth Certificate: Mark Ballas, for not only wearing his hat (with what looked to be a penis on it) cocked to the side like he’s all thug, but for wearing hammer pants and having gauges in his ears; (Dis)Honorable Mention: Will.i.am – same reason.
Heidi: Really dude?? You’re pushing 30 and you’re totally a white boy born and raised in London….and not the ‘hood portion. Justin Bieber…who is what? Eight years younger than you? He looks stupid as hell in those outfits and he’s a kid. You, are an adult. And I totally kept thinking you had a penis on your hat. At least Will.i.am always looks stupid – you come to expect it. But Mark, you’re a good looking dude (I prefer blondes, but I can acknowledge it ) – why’d you have to ruin it with bizarro costuming even when you’re not performing??
Courtney: I feel like Mark thinks it’s still 2001 and Sum 41 and New Found Glory are still ruling the airwaves. And Lord knows what was going through Will’s head – that whole performance looked like a robotic bar mitzvah for MC Hammer, held in outer space. Mazel tov, I guess?
The Blow Harder Award: To the Female Pros Dancing Around Stevie Wonder and blowing him kisses.
Heidi: Yo….Stevie is BLIND. Just sayin’.
Courtney: Poor Stevie probably just wondering why there was a sudden breeze. Read more..