DWTS 10, Week 4 – The Cheesecake Awards!!!
This week, it was nearly all the performance show. And there were almost too many things to comment on. 🙂
Funniest Tom One-liner –“ Welcome to the fabric remnant showroom” (paraphrasing)
Heidi: Don’t drink red wine when you have light colored furniture.
Courtney: …lest it become one of Edyta’s costumes. Unless you’re Chad & Cheryl, in which case your costumes are made from the pantyhose I used to wear when I was a Hooters girl.
Most Stupid-assed, Cheesy Opening Segment – Buzz is blasted off from about mid-thigh up, out of the picture.
Heidi: Are you f@*king kidding me? Not only was that one of the cheesiest, stupidest things I’ve seen on this show, it’s also freakin’ disrespectful. The man is 80, and a damn astronaut. You people are pissing me off.
Courtney: If this is going to be a recurring theme during the intro, what the hell are they gonna do with the other celebs eliminated? Evan triple-lutzing out of the frame? Pam running away in slow-mo? If they’re gonna offend, they may as well be equal-opportunity offenders.
Most Snicker-worthy Production Screwup – Yeah, that double scoring scoreboard didn’t work so well on the first dance – it previewed the first dancer’s second score long before the judges had a chance to whip out their paddles. Took them a couple dances to fix it too. 🙂
Heidi: Is it mean that I always laugh when they mess that stuff up?
Courtney: Not at all – if they’re going to do something as dumb as doing 2 scores, then they may as well mess it up while they’re at it. They must have really been having issues when Evan was getting his scores, because they didn’t even use that silly chart.
Most likely to moonlight as a Victoria’s Secret model – Nicole Scherzinger, Kym Johnson, & Edyta Sliwinska. (3-way tie)
Heidi: So, Nicole’s walking down the stairs with Derek and I thought that perhaps she had bought new boobs since the last show. Then I remember the miracle bra – mainly because I saw Kym Johnson wearing that and nearly nothing else, right after pondering Nicole’s situation(s).
Courtney: If I had a body half as good as these three, I would seriously go naked all day long. Maybe throw on some negligee to go to the grocery store or something. But I did notice that Nicole’s “ladies” were looking extra perky, and then noted how big of a difference there was in Edyta’s cleavage between the lead-in package to their actual performance. God bless the Miracle Bra!
Most Ridiculous Studio Decoration – The “HOT HOT HOT!!” flashing neon sign
Heidi: It’s a bad sign that when you have to hang a sign that states what you’re hoping the dances will convey on their own. What, were they afraid we wouldn’t get it?? Oh, wait…
Courtney: There are only 3 places in this world where neon flashing signage is actually effective: cheap casinos, bail bonds offices, and strip clubs. Last I checked, DWTS was not any of those 3 establishments. Well…2 out of 3…not gonna lie, I have had the urge to “tuck a buck” from time to time while watching the show 😉
The “Heidi is Sick of Gimmicks” Cheese Award – the sob story for votes.
Heidi: Broken toes. Traveling while training. Dead relatives. Hurt back. Whaa whaa whaa – Evan double dips as two of those are his. Dude, spamming for votes AND two sob stories? No, he wasn’t really whining, but I’m with Erin – my favorites are those who get hurt and you never see any evidence of it on camera. Mark Ballas, for example, tore the hell out of his knee and danced on it without broadcasting it before the results show. Derek did the same thing two seasons in a row – and was photographed wearing a heating pad on his shoulder last week. While they were pimping the hell out of Melissa Rycroft’s ribs, Lil’ Kim had the exact same injury and we didn’t hear about it.
Courtney: If they’re in that much pain, I say they just start downing Vicodin a la Dr. House and then, after DWTS, they can do Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. It’s a two-fer! Totally, totally kidding. If you’re gonna whine repeatedly, you may as well just withdraw.
Best unintentional innuendo – Derek Hough, “This is my Love Hand.”
Heidi: :::spew::: Thank you, Baby Jesus. Dude. Right handed, eh? Visualizing, I’m visualing…I’m a bad girl. Even funnier was him realizing what he said, about 5 seconds too late. 😉
Courtney: While he is indeed yummy, I don’t really wanna think about where that hand has been, hehe. I’d rather see Tony Dovolani’s “Hate Hand”, whereby he sticks a certain finger in Kate’s face after he’s just had enough of her nagging, complaining, and crying.
Most Egregious Vote Whore – Evan Lysacek. (Dis)honorable Mention – Pam Anderson.
Heidi: Bad, bad Evan. It really sucks when the Olympian shoe-in is the worst about pimping himself for votes. I can at least understand Pam, since she actually hit the bottom two a couple weeks back.
Courtney: Evan is just kinda altogether annoying me right now, between the vote whoring and the whining about the toes. I’m gonna give Pam the “get out of jail free” card for the week, since she is prolly still reeling from being in the bottom 2 the first week. Plus I have a heterosexual woman-crush on her. Viva la Pam!
Best Use of a Prop We Never Thought We’d See Again – Jeff Ross’ rhinestone eye patch, worn by Aiden in the “Double O-Chocinco” fake trailer.
Courtney: Seriously, wardrobe must have peed their pants with excitement when they got to pull this out of storage. And the fact that it was worn by one of Edyta’s former partners (who happened to scratch his cornea) before being worn by Aiden (who got elbowed in the eye by Edyta during their foxtrot) is just an eerie coincidence…or is it? 😉
Heidi: (tangent) Derek and his love hand and an eye patch………visualizing, I’m visualizing…..
Most Ironic Song Choice – “Wait a Minute” by the Pussycat Dolls for Evan’s tango
Courtney: You happen to choose a song by the group that your biggest competition on the show was the lead singer of…coincidence, or strategy?
Heidi: Or producers who are sick f@#ks. I pick door number 2, Monty. Seriously, they aren’t having much opportunity to pick their own songs this year. See, Nicole’s Jive, and her upcoming Tango (to Pretty Woman?? Fer REAL???)
Most Unexpected Chemistry – Chelsie and Damian during their dance to Sade
Courtney: I was very pleasantly surprised by Damian especially this week, after complaining about “knowing nothing about him” after last week’s show. He had a great rumba with Pam, and then a lovely, dramatic performance with Chelsie. Forget about rumors of Chelsie and Mark dating and Chelsie and Derek dating – I wouldn’t mind seeing Chelsie and Damian together!
Heidi: Who’s Damian?? You mean there is a guy dancing with Pam? You don’t say!! 🙂 Fer a straight girl, I have a very hard time looking away from Pam. Seriously, finally we get a glimpse at Damian – he’s been a shadow up to now.
Tackiest “Love Props” – the heart pillows in the Celebraquarium, with (dis)honorable mentions for the feathers on the stage for Chad and Cheryl’s rumba and the grapes that Erin was dangling in the guys’ faces
Courtney: Those damn pillows reminded me of this tacky no-tell motel on the edge of town that has heart-shaped vibrating beds with satin sheets. And the fact that the celebs and pros alike were tossing them around ALL NIGHT LONG was just obnoxious. As was Erin dangling grapes in Maks and Jake’s faces (although I give her props for throwing one at Evan, hehe) and Chad and Cheryl collapsing into a big pile of goose down in the middle of the stage, which served no choreographic purpose other than to look romantic. We GET it, guys: it’s rumba and tango night. But do you really need pillows, feathers, and grapes to convey that???
Heidi: Of course they don’t need all that stuff, if it were just THEM. But us real stoopid people who sit at home with our hands in the front of our pants, belching might have missed all the passion floating around. That said, I too give Erin points for throwing a grape at Evan’s head. I also applaud anyone throwing a pillow at anyone else’s head as a way of saying, “Shut the f*&K up.” 🙂
Nicole totally deserve a cheesecake award for her tears , saying that “I’m an artist. I’m not like other people.”
you are a ringer,you got a good score, so just stop with the tears,please.
“I’m an artist. I’m not like other people.” That statement was ridiculous.
Crying because you were second, I can see Erin being upset , but Nicole come on.
^^ Agree with both of you.
So ridiculous, I couldn’t help but laugh.
As for Evan’s spamming, I can’t say that I blame him (or any of the other contestants) when there’s crap like this floating around: http://www.lopeztonight.com/keepkate/index.php
Ugh, I think I’m going to be ill.
Someone needs to give Nicole an award for the most arrogant outburst ever in all seasons. “I’m an artist, I’m not like other people!” This this might have cost little miss a vote or two hundred thousand.
Oh fer cryin’ out loud – is that for real?? Or is George being funny??
It was definitely not a very couth thing to say on her part. But I brushed it aside because it sounded like there was something more amiss with Nicole’s behavior than just being disappointed with her score – Heidi & I have definitely hypothesized that Nicole has been suspiciously vigilant in shooting down rumors of a “thing” between her & Derek. I’m wondering if the very idea of pretending to be in love with him for the rumba made her a nervous mess. Since she’s sooooo adamant about being committed to her boyfriend, I’m sure actually doing a decent rumba would have been “suspect”. I’m almost wondering if she intentionally did a crappy rumba, just to avoid rumors of a showmance – and then was “fake” upset when she didn’t get the scores she wanted. “I’m not like other people, I’m an artist!” was just a dumb thing to say.
Yeah, we’ve actually posted a few things with commentary on what the hell is going on with Nicole and how she needs to get her shit together. But no, she wasn’t fake upset and their rumba was actually quite good. I’m getting ready to post some video where Derek gives her a good bit of grief for being a “drama queen” – he’s joking with her, of course, but as he said, they did a fantastic dance. He’s working pretty hard to snap her out of her funk. She said that when she was dancing it she could feel herself making all these mistakes – and then she watched it back and they aren’t noticeable. So that made her feel stupider (if that’s a word). Essentially – they both know she screwed up with the drama and she has admitted it, plus Derek is razzing her for it. I didn’t see a need to add on to that. Now if she keeps it up….different story. I will happily pick on people who don’t fess up to being fools.
As for the “thing” with Derek – she might want to stop going to clubs and spending the entire night dancing with him. Just sayin’. 🙂 http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20360918,00.html That’s the second or third time someone has reported on this.
Heidi – yes, unfortunately that is real. I forgot whose tweets I was looking at last night but I saw a #keepkate hash tag and eventually made it to George Lopez’s page and saw that link that leads to his official site. Lots of people are tweeting that, too. I’m guessing non-fans who just like to see the trainwreck every week.
I also caught a bit of George on Larry King the other night and he was talking about how Kate’s dancing on the show is the first and only thing that has brought his family together to watch tv. So that’s why he wants to keep her on. Ugh.
I’m wondering how Chad and Evan feel about this, though. Because I thought if George was going to back anyone it would be one of those guys. He was even in the audience a couple of weeks ago supporting Chad.
Either way, I’d like to see anyone else win but Kate. ANYONE.
I wish it was just the trainwreck aspect of it because that gets old fast, but I don’t think it is. In the course of working on this site I see A LOT of media – video AND articles that are written about the show. The Kate fans OFTEN out number the haters in spamming the comments sections of various articles and videos. The woman has serious, rabid fans. I sure as hell don’t understand it, but that’s why I’ve been insisting in my posts that she’s going to be around for a while. Now, if the judges would score her *relative* to the other dancers on the show, there would be a better chance of her going home. But when the judges insist on scoring her such that she only falls a couple points behind Aiden and Niecy, then she ain’t goin’ no where. Aiden and Niecy are MUCH better dancers than she is, but she will stay longer with that scoring.
Wow really? I’m kind of surprised. You guys don’t know Evan. He’s not complaining about. It’s been mentioned may be 3 times it was brought on the producers. Evan doesn’t complain about injuries. Yes he’s mentioned them, only because he’s asked about them. That’s not complaining. He’s said that they bothered him a bit but he was not at all complaining. The only reason it looks like he’s complaining is it’s brought up by the producers of the show, and every damn interviewer that interviews him or Anna. He’s definitely not complaining about it.
Yeah, Katrina, I mention that he’s not really whining, just that I don’t like hearing about it. I do know that it’s the producers – the Melissa/Lil’ Kim thing was a lot of the producers as well. Either he or the producers (or a combination) get this “poor Evan” ball rolling and then it’s an unstoppable sympathy train for Evan – and he doesn’t NEED it!! Some people get hurt and you never hear a word about it, others get hurt and it’s all you hear. I do know it’s not totally Evan’s fault – the producers manipulate the crap out of that.
Frankly, he and Nicole are the two best dancers and neither is truly getting the publicity they deserve – it’s all taken up by KateKateKate, it seems, so I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Even Aiden today on Regis and Kelly said that Nicole was “flying under the radar” – code for getting NO publicity. Some ringer she is turning out to be!!
the producers manipulate the crap out of that
so true
this week Kate got the foxtrot, more ballroom for her, she has the easist dance , everybody else has jive, tango, quickstep and rumba and Kate got foxtrot, come on, and she always dance by the end of the show
get used to it! we will be seeing kate for a while if her scores improve. the judges may try to get her out of there but the people that are voting for her are dedicated. therefore we will be watching her frankenstein stomp for at least a few more weeks.
Ok, so that George Lopez thing is silly. Talk about shameless self promotion. Lame that he’d ride on the back of Kate like this. He doesn’t care about Kate. It’s a joke to give him more publicity.
I’m going to send out a #savekate tweet though. She’s so sexy.
Also, I can’t believe you didn’t like the heart pillows. I thought they were great. Especially when they raised them up over Cheryl and Ochocinco’s head. That was perfect.
I just saw Kate on Inside Edition boo-hooing about how her “job” keeps her away from her kids and it makes her sad knowing that someone else is picking them up from the school bus stop.
By all means, hun, RUSH back to your kids and be a mom to them. You’ll make them, yourself, and a ton of other people happy. Hell, a few people might even gain a bit of respect for you.
I was just saying to a friend the other day that I could understand Kate (who is considered an “everyday person” compared to the celebs on the show) doing this show if she had a bit of dance background and maybe had a chance of winning based on talent. Then it might be a nice story in the long run if she ended up winning. But if she keeps dancing as crappy as she has been and makes it to the final 2 up against Evan or Nicole or Erin, it’s just going to look like a big joke. I cringe at the thought.
I don’t think Evan would have even mentioned it if he didn’t think he had to go to Anna (see this article here: http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/04/85930/index.html). His fans didn’t find out about the stress fracture that he had for long time…
Oh John…lol. You LIKED those still-leftover-on-the-clearance-shelf-at-the-drugstore-from-Valentine’s-Day monstronsities??? BLECH. It just further reinforced the point for me that there was so little actual heat on rumba/tango night (except Pam & Damian) that they resorted to blantant symbols of love to convey the point to us that the evening was supposed to be “romantic”. Had they thrown in a trail of rose petals, some votive candles, and some Barry White, the Celebraquarium could have passed as the honeymoon suite at the Holiday Inn 😛 I guess I just prefer my “romance” to be a little more organic – good chemistry on the floor, good music, & sexy costumes.
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