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DWTS12 Week 3 – The Cheesecake Awards!!

ย Well, well, well…Heidi here. I’m afraid Courtney and I were very hit and run this week. While I am extremely grateful for my job, it actually had me working some nights and last weekend – and it’s sucked much of the creativity right out of me. In it’s place…well, just read me and Evaine’s commentary about half naked Derek and Maks. ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s just about all I can handle. In any case, I hope you enjoy the cheesecake. Courtney is on her way out of town so I will also be struggling to fill in on her Power Rankings too. Oy. On with the show….

Worst Prop of the Week: The smoke machine

Courtney: Seldom does smoke really “enhance” a performance on DWTS – a notable exception is Jonathan & Anna’s waltz to “Hallelujah” last season – so I don’t understand why some pros insist on using them.ย  In Dmitry’s case, I think it was a clever ploy to conceal Petra’s subpar footwork – and it seemed to work, as Carrie Ann conveniently missed several lifts, and everyone raved about how great her waltz was, despite some rather shuffly feet.ย  Not sure what Louis was thinking putting Kendra in a smoke cloud – we all see how well that panned out.ย  She looked about half-baked as she manged to stumble out of it.ย  And maybe the judges had a bit of a contact high as well when they scored her, which could explain her inflated scores.ย  Thankfully, Tom has assured us that the smoke machine in question has since been relegated to the community theater circuit ๐Ÿ™‚

Heidi: What was really funny was the “Oh my god” that you hear in the recap – Kendra freaking out. Which is why they were all laughing so hard when they cut back to the couples on the results show. ๐Ÿ™‚ Pretty hilarious. Kendra said she argued strenuously against the smoke machine and obviously lost. Which seems sucky. ALSO in the recap, you see a BLATANT lift by Dmitry and Petra – seriously blatant – and long. Kinda annoying. And the smoke wasn’t that strong – she wasn’t being eaten in like a horror movie where you could only see her from the waist up. Combine that with the TWO other lifts and I’d have to call Carrie Ann out for selective blindness.

Best Prop of the Week: Sugar Ray’s boxing announcer; honorable mention: Hines’ Terrible Towel

Courtney: Let’s face it: Ray ain’t the best dancer this season, and he probably isn’t going to last much longer. So I can’t really blame Anna for going the gimmicky route with his paso – the boxing gloves, the entrance, the punching bag…and quite possibly the most creative intro I’ve ever seen for a dance on the show: a boxing announcer, complete with drop-down microphone.ย  I thought it was pretty damn cute. And I daresay Hines has managed to make the Terrible Towel trendy on the show – the audience is waving it, the judges are waving it…I’m half expecting the entire celebraquarium to be waving it by season-end.ย  For those of you unfamiliar with what it is, it’s a yellow towel that Steelers fans wave at games.ย  I used to hate it, since as a Colts fan I pretty much LOATHE the Steelers.ย A local bar I frequent is unofficially a Steelers fans bar, and there’s always a Terrible Towel up on the wall.ย  The towel has been known to inexplicably jump into my purse after I’ve had a few drinks, and then commits suicide back at my house either in my fireplace or in the jaws of my Chow mix, Xena (see below). It’s really an interesting phenomenon ๐Ÿ˜‰ Anywho…now I’m faced with a bad case of cognitive dissonance, since I hate the Steelers and I’m starting to LOVE Hines.ย  *sigh* What’s a girl to do?

Heidi: See, this is why some pros get yelled at for “messin’ about” and some don’t. Some messin’ about is pretty creative – like this. Another example is when Derek and Jennifer played the piano in the opening of their accousticย Argentine tangoย – very creative. Not so creative? Dusting the judges table for half the song. Sitting in the audience on your ass. LOVED the announcer, and Tom stepping in with the correct dance. As for the terrible towel – I thought that was sweet of the judges to do that. You could tell by Hines face that he was surprised and happy to see that. ๐Ÿ™‚

Costume Brain Fart Award: Louis Van Amstel, for Kendra’s rumba dress

Courtney: If Kendra’s rumba dress looked familiar, it’s because it was almost identical to the one Chelsie wore for her pro dance with Damian in season 10, and then again for her rumba demo with Dmitry last season.ย  But I have to confess – I thought it looked much better on Chelsie. Not only the color, but the cut – I think Heidi remarked on Twitter that all of the bodysuit-based costumes this week seemed to be cut a little on the conservative side.ย 

Heidi:Actually, I think I said that the bottoms look like granny panties. ๐Ÿ™‚

The “I Can Tell You’re New to This Show” Award – Week 3: Tristan and Oksana

ย Heidi: Tristan, DUDE, get thee to the spray tan! I haven’t seen that much white skin since…well, since Ralph disrobed in his own bathroom. But he’s not a pro dancer AND that was funny. ๐Ÿ™‚ And also…I don’t need to see tongue in the Paso Doble. Not cool. Oksana – Mark Ballas’ facial expressions are OTT and not something to emulate. Just sayin’ – that will NOT help you be a better mail order bride, sweetheart. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Courtney: I have a feeling we’re going to be having a heydey with Oksana all season ๐Ÿ™‚ Very pretty girl, but an easy target – everything about her is just a bit too much.ย  The voice. The facial expressions. The hair. The makeup.ย  Definitely gunning hard for the green card ๐Ÿ˜‰ As for Tristan – ok, I realize he’s trying to set himself apart as the “Irish lad” this season, but that doesn’t mean he has to look the part by being fair as the Emerald Isle! He was less Michael Flatley & more Casper the Friendly ghost out there.ย  Side note: anyone else think it was a bit weird that they had Ted & Nicole dancing together and having to get up in each other’s face all kissy-like a couple of times? I know Derek has said that he’s had to rumba with Julianne in the past – awwwwwwkward – but it was never on the show.ย  There’s 2 other chicks in the troupe…they couldn’t be bothered to stick Ted with Peta or Oksana? God I hope they separate those two in the future…because this show is gonna give me some serious Oedipal issues if not…

Heidi: Plus, the only time I remember actually seeing Derek dance rumba with Julianne was on tour when her original partner (or was it his??) was hurt – kinda funny, after the dance was over they couldn’t get away from each other fast enough. ๐Ÿ™‚ You know, it also occurs to me that that Oksana could borrow Tristan’s tongue action….THAT would help the the green card for sure. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Least TV Friendly Clothing Selection: Wendy William for those rehearsal shorts.

Heidi: Is she wearing a diaper?? That’s what goes through my brain every time they showed her rehearsal footage. ๐Ÿ™‚

Courtney: Maybe she’s just SUCH a dedicated dancer that she doesn’t have time for bathroom breaks.ย  ๐Ÿ˜‰ HA! I think those damn rehearsal shorts were about the only thing on the show that Wendy was 100% committed to.ย  The thing that got me is that she mentioned in a segment on her show that she loved looking the part of a “serious dancer” so much that she would wear her rehearsal clothes out to run errands and whatnot! I can only imagine the thoughts of onlookers…”Is she incontinent?” “Is she trying to conceal a bad case of camel toe?” “Is she one of those extreme gamers that doesn’t have time to use the bathroom?”

Heidi: More like, “Is she a crazy bag lady?”

Biggest BURN by a Celebrity – Female: Chelsea Kane for Outing Mark’s Request for False Eyelashes the Previous Week; Honorable Mention: Chelsea Kane for telling Mark he is a better girl than she is.

Heidi: I’m liking this girl more and more all the time. What more can I say that Chelsea didn’t? ๐Ÿ™‚

Courtney: Mark is just a liiiiiiittle too comfortable gyrating around like a drag queen – guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, because Corky is pretty damn good at it, too.ย  Someone should sign Mark up for RuPaul’s Drag Race, what with his fondness for false eyelashes and sassy dance moves.ย  I canย  just picture him lip-synching to “Show Me Love” by Robin S. now…anywho, yeah, Chelsea calls it like she sees it, and I like that ๐Ÿ˜€ I’d also like to give my own personal “honorable mention” to Anna, who made the comment “I wouldn’t be able to keep up with Mark’s choreography!” before giggling heartily during the pros/celebs talk about the other pros/celebs time-killer during the results show.ย  Even Anna seems to notice Mark’s spaztasticness.ย  LIKE.

Heidi: Last season, Mark had a thing for eyeliner. LOTS of eyeliner, not just a little. Does this mean he’s graduated?? ๐Ÿ™‚

Biggest Production Screw Ups of the Week: The Camera Dudes; (dis)Honorable Mention: The Sound Dudes

Heidi: Lovely shot of the FLOOR during Chelsea and Mark’s dance…Oh, and I really liked when it looked like someone smacked a steady cam during One Republics performance so we got that drunken pan of the audience next to the stage. Problem is, I don’t think you dudes use a steadicam, do you? :::rolls eyes::: And you sound dudes? Turn the audience mikes DOWN and the Bergeron’s mike UP – Tommy often says things that I find very humorous. Brooke? She’s fine. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Courtney: Hell, I would just get rid of Brooke altogether…except then I wouldn’t have as much cheesecake material, since a lot of it stems from her obtuseness ๐Ÿ™‚ But yeah, looks like they’ve got the orangutans and Muppets manning the cameras and sound board again this year as a cost-cutting measure – either that or they’ve outsourced the grunt work to India, and they’re taking liberties with the “censoring” of the show…maybe there was a dance move they found objectionable in Chelsea & Mark’s routine and decided to avert the camera to spare us.ย  You think the censors over here in the States are bad…ooh wee.ย  Try watching a Bollywood flick.ย  It’s Sesame Street compared to most American movies! Instead of kissing or anything suggestive, they break into song.ย  I can only imagine what an episode of Dancing with the Stars: India would look like…

Tom Bergeron Line O’the Night: “Later tonight, Len goes to the Wizard to get a heart.”

Heidi: WHY are all the good ones married? ๐Ÿ™‚ Seriously apropos line for the Berge, not to mention funny as hell.

Courtney: Yeah.ย  Tom’s dreamy ๐Ÿ™‚ And Len still sucks.

Most Over Done Costuming Gimmick for the Week – Male: Dmitry Chaplin

Heidi: You know, if you whip your chest out all the time it stops being exciting OR sexy. Just sayin’. “Oh look, there’s Dmitry’s chest, it must be Dancing with the Stars.”

Courtney: He’s still holding out for a chest-off…and Tony & Maks aren’t taking the bait.ย  Totally unfair fight…for Dmitry.

Best Brooke Distraction Technique of the Week: Kirstie Alley, for “You’re sooo pretty Brooke Burke” to get Brook off the fall topic

Heidi: Genius Kirstie has the ideal tactic – call the other female “so pretty” – she is forced to say thank you and laugh and then she’s out of time. Ta da!! LOL!!

Courtney: You know what I really love about Kirstie? She really GETS the show.ย  I think she realizes that most of the banter that goes on during the show is complete crap, and unlike some of the other celebs, she’s learned to cleverly circumvent it…and she’s figured out early on that the path of least resistance is Brooke, who tends to fall apart if she drifts too far away from her canned dialogue, since her powers of improv are basically non-existent.ย  Kirstie, if you keep poking Brooke with this metaphorical sharp stick, I will love you forever…it is my goal for you to get her completely tongue-tied by season’s end.ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

COOLEST Production Dude of the Week: Little Producer Dude in the Black Shirt During Petra’s Behind the Scenes

Heidi: Please don’t tell me that I’m the only one that caught the blatant eye roll the producer (stage manager??) gave the camera after telling Petra to get out on stage (and, by extension, to STFU)!! It was HILARIOUS. His face totally said, “Get the F@#k out there already, would ya?” Poor Petra, she was all “gush gush gush” and dude wasn’t having it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Courtney: Miserable little peon ๐Ÿ™‚ Nobody rolls their eyes at Saint Petra! Even you, self-important crewneck-wearing stage guy.ย  No matter how much her philanthropic gushing in broken English may irk you. Kapeesh? ๐Ÿ™‚

Most Bizarre Non-DWTS Costuming of the Week: Selena Gomez

Heidi: I spent most of her song thinking either she’d had a run-in with a mean guy on a lawn mower or she invited a bunch of school kids to make snowflakes out of the bottom of her dress for craft day. What the hell? It was pretty…but it was like Brooke’s satellight dish/Hepburn Hat dress. It was hard to focus on anything else.

Courtney: That whole performance was just odd to me.ย  I wasn’t particularly floored by her singing, her outfit, the song, or Mark & Chelsie dancing…it was all just meh.ย  But I’m sure Lacey would have loved to hack up that dress to make more crotch doilies.ย  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Heidi: I’ll give her one thing – unlike SEVERAL “pop” tarts…I mean, stars I could name, she actually sings LIVE. ๐Ÿ™‚

April 8, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

DWTS 12 – Maksim Chmerkovskiy Teaching Kirstie Alley The Pattern And How To “Feel” The Waltz

Maks has posted a new blog at TV Guide. As most of you know, he and Kirstie are in Chicago, but, somehow he found the time to write. He talks about his and Kirstie’s fall this past week and how he is ok. He also talks about their new dance (the Waltz) coming up. More below. Be sure to read the link for the full blog as he talks of Wendy’s elimination and his Dad too.

…You just have to have enough will to finish and to do your thing. It’s not about not making mistakes; it’s about working through them. People expect us not to fall, but everybody falls. Everybody slips left and right all the time. It’s nothing new. But I am not surprised that it became such a big deal just because it’s Kirstie. Still, it shouldn’t be a big deal. I’m over it; Kirstie’s over it. I’m not sure when the show will stop replaying it though! Hopefully soon! I think we’ll see it at least once on Monday: “Last week, Kirstie and Maks…”

Kirstie and I have been in Chicago this week for Oprah, which was an amazing and very special experience. We’re having a great time here. We’re here with a bunch of people and have been out and about. Kirstie has a lot of energy for life and a lot of passion. She wants to enjoy every moment and I’m trying to keep up! I have not had deep-dish pizza yet, but I will try to get some before we leave.

Our next dance is the waltz. It’s classical week, so we’ll have a singer who will sing during our performance. It’s going to turn into a bit more of a show rather than being a straightforward dancing competition. The orchestra is going to be bigger and everything is going to be grand. It’s something new and fresh. There are a lot of little elements. Since we’ve been in Chicago, we’re trying to make do with what we’ve got here. Kirstie is doing well. Like with the fall, I’m not teaching her to dance; I’m teaching her how to be a dancer. She was able to recover because we have a clear understanding of our jobs and what we’re supposed to do. That’s how we’re approaching the waltz. I’m not just teaching her the pattern of the waltz, but I’m also teaching her how to feel it. If everything works, we can relax and adjust to the little changes production throws at us.

I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and view more loves of mine, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

DWTS Season 12 – Karina Smirnoff And Ralph Macchio On The Ellen Show (Video)

Ellen interviewed Ralph and Karina on her show. They kid with Ellen about Maks and Kirstie falling this past week and how it might help their chances if they fall in the future too. They joke about Karina having a different “situation” this year as well (Ellen, as always, creative and funny with her wording and questions). Ralph is humble as always about everything. All this and more below. Ellen gives them gifts too that you’ll want to be sure to see.

I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and view more loves of mine, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

Dancing With The Stars 12 – Hines Ward Won’t Be Able To Smile Monday Night (Videos)

Hines and Kym have been in Pittsburg this week so Hines could attend the 38th annual Art Rooney Awards to benefit the Catholic Youth Association. But, they’ve also been hard at work practicing for their upcoming dance on Monday night (the Paso Doble) in an undisclosed location. The Post Gazette gives us a little teaser for what’s to come. More below and at the link.

After tying for the judges’ top score on this week’s “DWTS,” the duo caught a red-eye from Los Angeles via Atlanta and have been rehearsing a new number at an undisclosed studio here. Next up is the paso doble, a tricky enough step as a dance, but Mr. Ward will be challenged in another area: In the spirit of the performance, he won’t be allowed to smile.

“She’s got to make me mad or something,” he said.

They will dance to “Explosive,” a vibrant string number by Bond.

All in all, he said, “I’m having a blast. A lot of people were shocked [that he really can dance] and I’ve been shocked myself.”

He has taken to creating dance versions of the traditional playbook. “I’m putting in the same work ethic as I approach football, putting in the long hours. Even when I go home, I’m writing the dance routine down on a piece of paper.”

Asked if she had seen the paper, Ms. Johnson said, “Yes, he showed me … it looks like gibberish, I guess.”

I can’t embed them, but, there are also some VIDEOS of the two talking to the press in Pittsburg at WTAE and WPXI >>>>HERE and >>>>>HERE. Below is a video of the song “Explosive” by Bond for what the fun duo will be dancing to.

Thanks so much to tweeter @Sally_Braden for sending us some fun videos for this post. ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx

I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and view more loves of mine, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.