PureDWTS Season 20 – SPOILERS!!! Who Won???? Let’s Discuss the Show!

Court here πŸ™‚ As Heidi is currently tied up at work, I’m covering for the time being…who’s ready to finish this season off?

Nice to see Redfoo shufflin’ in the opening number…and Nastia basically slaying her little bit, as if to say “Yeah, you eliminated me just short of the finale…and I just danced better than at least 2/3Β  of the finalists last night.”

Riker handled that bobble in his freestyle like a champ – didn’t even know it happened until Deep Throat told me about it later.

Ruh-roh – Riker got the encore? Oh boy, Riker fans – I sure as hell hope you actually voted for him to WIN, and didn’t just waste the night tweeting for him to get the encore. Historically, he/she who gets the finale encore does NOT end up winning the MBT.

Oh boy – Team Fooma and the Juicy Wiggle πŸ˜› Any Aussies out there? Heard a rumor that the “juicy wiggle” was actually a dance craze in Australia – and Foo basically bogarted it when he was judging The X-Factor there last summer. Random.

Woohoo LEFT SHARK!!! AND MY BELOVED CRAB SASHA!!! πŸ˜€ And Charlotte’s awesome boobage.

I gotta give Fonz credit – I’m beginning to think his season never ended and he just decided to be on this one as well, since we see so much of himΒ  πŸ˜› Dare I say we’ve seen more of Alfonso this season than at least 2/3 of this season’s cast?

WHHHAAAATTTT???!!!! Fonz taking over Funniest Home Videos??? BEST NEWS I’VE HEARD ALL DAY πŸ˜€

Ok, Derek got the best lines from “Bad Lip Reading”…#ipooped

A little birdie told me Emma is involved in Jason Derulo’s number…;-)

Emma just SLAYS.Β  That is all.Β  For those keeping count, this is the 2nd time Jason has performed on the show…and made Ems the focal point of his dance. #justsayin’

Chris still looks uncomfortable dancing to me.Β  But Wit’s costume is adorable.

Ugh. I just realized we’re only 45 minutes into this finale – I still have to sit through another 75 minutes of it. *sigh*

Dare I say even Bruce Willis was impressed by Nastia reprising her Lindy? πŸ˜‰

Speaking of Bruce – I can’t tell if he was genuinely tickled by the “Dance Hard” parody…or forcing a smile.

Nah, I think he’s having a great time – he’s grinning every time they pan to him. Either that, or they’re just looping the same clip of him smiling…

Poor Charlotte.Β  Poor Keo. πŸ˜›

Eh…this dance feels likeΒ  “B.O.S.S.” redux to me.Β Β  It’s just ok – bet Mandy choreographed it.

Aaaaand the pro dances just get even more mediocre… #putyourshirtbackongreasychest

This “Elastic Heart” dance smells like Emmy bait to me – did Derek choreograph it?

And God bless Miss Patti and her “In Da Club” salsa…with Charlotte as the bottle girl and Chris & Michael as bouncers πŸ™‚

An hour and 15 minutes in and they’re just now mentioning the fusion dance.Β  Gaaaaaah.Β  Still gotta sit through 45 minutes of this… 😯

Goddammit it’s so dusty in my house whenever Noah dances…but he slayed that fusion.Β  Better be a perfect score!

Ahem. So the judges pull out the 9’s – you best believe Noah was a legitimate threat to Rumer or Riker winning – and he possibly still is. Verrrrry interesting choice in score.

Could they have saddled Riker with a shitter fusion than salsa/quickstep?Β  If he gets reamed, so help me god…

Bet you anything Rumer gets paso/foxtrot or some other dark, edgy dance – since that’s all we’ve gotten from her all season.

Either I’m psychic, or Rumer & Val are just that one-note.

Aaaaand somehow we’re still “rushing”, but there’s ample time allotted for heaping over-the-top praise on Rumer – since she’s basically the best dancer ever on DWTS, the greatest thing since sliced bread, the cure for cancer, and the second coming of Jesus Christ. This season cannot be done fast enough for me.

And we have the mandatory maudlin song being performed as the 3 finalists stand awkwardly by with clips of the couples playing in the background.Β  Yawn.

Noah & Sharna 3rd.Β  No huge surprises there, considering the scoring low-ball – but look at just how much they had to low-ball him to make it happen.

Winner: Rumer & Val. 2nd place:Β  Riker & Allison

And cue the million and one justifications from Val why his 1 golden MBT is the most important win in DWTS history and is better than every single other win combined.

Is it season 21 yet?