PureDWTS Season 21, Week 6 – Power Rankings

*slow clap* Great job on a completely un-fishy, totally coherent evening of scores and critiques, judges. No really, you really did well. *eye roll* This had to be one of the most ridiculous, incongruent, completely-out-of-left-field nights the judges have had in a LONG time.  I can think of two routines that were grossly overscored, and two or three that were underscored; I also feel like some couples got picked apart with a fine-toothed comb while others just got glossed over with praise and any mistakes completely disregarded. Only explanation I’ve got? Certain “chosen ones” are not getting the votes they need to stick around, and they need a boost; while some of the have-nots that shouldn’t be so popular (in their eyes) are just raking in the votes. Resist the urge to meddle, PTB – karma is a heinous bitch, and as we’ve seen…your actions can often have unintended consequences.

I kinda felt like something was amiss when they made a point of having Carrie Ann  spell out what the judges were looking for at the beginning of the show – it was almost as if they had been lurking in the comments here at Pure and saw what issues we had been discussing with regard to “Iconic Dance” week…y’know, the whole “where are they going to draw the line between staying faithful to a dance and actually doing the assigned dance style” issue. *waves* Keep lurkin’, guys – I’ve got so much more to say 😉 Also odd? Leah felt really clunky and awkward tonight – nothing like the smooth, at-ease Leah who cohosted a year ago when Erin had to cover the World Series. She was hilarious then – she was painful tonight. Bring back the Leah that was bopping Derek in the face with a microphone, PLEASE 😀

On a more positive note, I loved the opening number – hard to beat Karina channeling Flashdance, Derek channeling Singin’ in the Rain, and Keo doing his best MC Hammer – dare I say it’s a rather fitting role? Kind of a minor sensation, probably outlived his 15 minutes of fame, ridiculous outfits…

1.) Bindi & Derek – I thought these two and Nick & Sharna were probably the gold standard for how all of the iconic dance routines should have been handled – another great combination of paying homage to the original while still staying true to the style they were assigned.  Loved how they fit in that rumba section at the beginning – it felt like it was actually part of the original dance, which takes skill to pull off.  Thought Bindi’s legs looked nice, too, even if her feet weren’t perfect.  Also impressed with how long they held the lift – I don’t think people truly appreciate how HARD that lift is to pull off.  Fun fact: I actually wrote my college kinesiology thesis on how to do the famous lift from Dirty Dancing.  It was 25 pages long – yeah, THAT much technique to the lift, and it requires both the lifter and the liftee to have quite a bit of core strength, and the lifter to have some solid upper body strength as well.  So when I see some folks poo-poohing the lift, and how “shaky” Derek was? I have to wonder just how well they would fare attempting that lift – and I think they’d probably manage to injure themselves pretty badly.  Hell, the bf managed to sprain his neck trying to do this lift with one of his students! They got into the lift, and they held it – that deserves a standing ovation.  I think the only pro that probably could have pulled it off any better is Tony – and that guy is built like Rambo. I daresay the pressure was on Bindi & Derek more than any other couple, given that they were saddled with the granddaddy of all “iconic dances” to tackle – and I think they handled it beautifully.

2.) Nick & Sharna – This was one of the routines last night that I felt SHOULD have gotten a perfect score – and unfortunately it got a rather bizarre critique, and a near-perfect score. I actually thought this was Nick’s best dance since his Downton Abbey waltz – he was present, he sold it, and he was on top of every step.  Also appreciated how well Sharna was able to fuse actual samba steps with the disco steps and not have it look disjointed (see below). Probably one of the more cohesive routines we saw last night, while still being a great homage to the original.  I guess my one complaint is that Nick appeared to get a little winded – at times, I saw more of the effort behind the steps, rather than him effortlessly carrying them off. So yeah, I was kinda gobsmacked at how Carrie Ann kinda ripped into it – and then ended up giving it a 9, while everyone else gushed and threw up the 10 paddles. Not exactly sure what Carrie Ann meant to accomplish by that, but given some of the other routines we saw last night that did get perfect scores – I felt like this should have, as well.

3.) Tamar & Val – I feel for Tamar, because it’s a royal pain in to lose your voice and you generally feel like chicken fried ass, to boot. That being said – I think she should consider herself lucky that she got the iconic dance that she did, and that the judges were feeling generous with her.  She did ok-to-decent with “Rhythm Nation”, but I wouldn’t say it was perfect – maybe all 9’s. I think the stone-faced look of the routine fit Tamar well, as she seems to struggle with showing a ton of emotion; but I think back to Janet in that routine, and while she was stone-faced, she still exuded this INTENSITY that implied “I’m one powerful mofo that you do NOT want to mess with” – and I didn’t see that with Tamar.  It was more deer-in-the-headlights, don’t-mind-me-I’m-just-trying-to-remember-my-choreo expression. And the thing about the “Rhythm Nation” choreography is that, while it’s simple and sharp, the hard part of it was how cleanly and powerfully it was executed, and how in-sync everyone was.  I saw quite a few kinda flaccid lines from Tamar where she threw away some of the moves, and I was just left scratching my head by some of the new choreography that got thrown in – it didn’t seem to fit very well with the original RN choreo. A bit hodgepodge. It was a great effort, given how little time she had to rehearse and how crappy she likely felt – but it was not perfect for me. But it seems like TPTB have decided that they need her around for awhile, so maybe she can genuinely wow me again – I have yet to be as impressed as I was with her back in week 2, doing the Charleston.

4.) Carlos & Witney – I think exactly what Heidi predicted would happen, happened: people had such low expectations for Carlos, just based on the “iconic dance” he got, that even if he did only sorta-ok on it, it was going to seem amazing by comparison. And FWIW, he & Witney did seem to make the best of a kinda craptastic situation – there was a little bit of rumba (even if it was awkwardly spliced into the sections of chair & floor humping), and Carlos had the swagger and physique necessary to carry off the Magic Mike persona.  It certainly wasn’t the performance of the night for me, and I still can’t bring myself to really root for Carlos (sorry, but the dude still comes across as kinda fake to me), but I will give them props for doing the best they could with what they had. Wish there had been a way around having Witney disappear and reappear at awkward intervals throughout the routine, but I guess it couldn’t be helped.  Still not sure where Carlos stands with regards to votes – at this point, I think he’s doing better than his wife, but now I’m still not convinced that he’s safe in the coming weeks.  Time will tell.

5.) Alek & Lindsay – Starting to think that Alek lives in the land of the “perpetually hosed”, as this is the 3rd week in a row that I felt he was underscored by at least 2-3 points.  Sorry, but even if you think Alek “doesn’t have a lot of facial expressions”, 7’s were harsh. I actually thought Alek improved quite a bit in the past two weeks in terms of emoting out on the floor – he was grinning at Emma last week, and he was pulling some Elvis faces this week, and actually looked like he was having fun. Was there a lot of actual jive here? Perhaps not a lot of basics, but I did see some other steps, and I thought he handled them well – certainly better than I thought he would. The guy IS improving – noticeably, each week – but he’s just stuck in the “you’re not emoting enough and I’m gonna pretend that you haven’t improved at all” rut with some of the judges. Carrie Ann telling him to go “work with Artem”?! That’s probably the WORST idea she could possibly have, given that Artem isn’t exactly a wealth of emotion when he’s dancing. Send him to Derek.  Send him to Mark. Hell, bring in Alfonso to help him with his showmanship. But despite the shower of 7’s Alek seems to be getting recently – I don’t think he’s in any danger next week.  Kept getting busy signals on his line for a good 15-20 min after the show wrapped – I think he’s still pulling in a good amount of votes.

6.) Hayes & Emma – At first, I thought Hayes was underscored; but upon second viewing, I think straight 8’s were probably about right – he sold the character well, but he’s still a tad shaky with transition steps between some of the moves. I doubt it helped that Hayes just probably wasn’t very familiar with Grease, and maybe wasn’t quite as invested in the performance as a result. But I’m starting to notice a much bigger problem that Hayes might have: his fans seem more interested in trending on Twitter than voting, and Hayes seems to be encouraging this behavior. This very well could lead to his demise on the show – instead of telling everyone to “go vote” last night, he wanted everyone to tweet that they voted and get #VoteForTeamSlayes trending.  Bad move, kid – doesn’t do a whole lotta good to trend if you get sent home.  So I’m beginning to wonder if we might see him as a not-so-surprising “surprise” elim sometime in the near future.

7.) Andy & Allison – Another eyebrow-raiser, score-wise. While I think this was Andy’s strongest performance yet and was quite good – I’m dubious about it being deserving of a 40.  Saw a few out-of-sync moments on the steps, a bobble with the part with coats, a few blank-faced looks, and some general awkwardness with the extension of his limbs…which, unfortunately, tends to stick out like a sore thumb when you’re dancing next to a jazz/contemporary master like Allison. Andy just looked a tad mechanical to me from time to time, rather than looking as fluid and comfortable as I saw Nick & Carlos in their respective dances. So I guess it begs the question for me: does Andy need help to stick around? He’s been in jeopardy once – is he inching closer to being there again, and needs a bit of a cushion? I’m just not sure – but I do know that the perfect score he received just rang as odd to me, given that there were some pretty noticeable bobbles.

8.) Alexa & Mark – I felt bad for Alexa this week – she was one of the ones that I think got pretty hosed for a routine that I didn’t think was nearly as bad as the judges were making it out to be. Like Carlos, I think she was dealt a bit of a crappy hand: a very sexy routine that wasn’t nearly as “iconic” as what some of the other couples were given, and some pretty lofty expectations that she was going to be some sort of sex kitten out on the floor.  Really & truly, even Britney herself wasn’t super sexy in the VMA version of this performance – I always found her to be kinda underwhelming live, and she only ever danced full-out in videos. I actually thought Alexa had some really nice leg action during the cha-cha portions of the dance, and while the bellydancing section got a tad off-time, I thought she actually made a nice effort.  Feel sorry for her with regards to the snake – I always felt like it was just a distraction in Britney’s performance, and it was the same here – and why the hell didn’t they have Bindi introduce her to the snake? That girl has a funny way of making terrifying animals seem as cuddly and harmless as a kitten. Instead they brought in this creepy, stone-faced snake handler and built the snake up to be this terrifying thing…and sorry, but that snake looked pretty damn docile in the end.  Just seemed like the whole thing, judges critiques about “not selling it” included, seemed like one big mindf*ck for Alexa…no wonder the poor girl just broke down in tears upon being told she was in jeopardy. And the fact that she was in jeopardy, on top of getting the low score this week? Seriously makes me wonder if she’s gonna survive through next week. Which sucks, because I’m warming to her…certainly more than her husband.

So that’s all I really have to say about last night…what say you?