Dancing with the Stars Season 22, THE FINALE – Live Blog!! (Spoilers)

I am on the road and hopefully will be in my hotel room in time to watch the show…if not, Courtney will hopefully jump in. I can’t decide if me missing the show would be a good thing…or a bad thing. 🙂

T-minus 30 minutes…

I found out I can’t watch live, so Courtney will be at the helm this evening. Before I go, here’s the dance order per George Pennachio:

  1. Ginger
  2. Nyle
  3. Paige

Court reporting for duty 🙂 I’m currently trying to tweet, take notes for the power rankings, update this post, and make a gender reveal cake for a coworker.  Needless to say, I’m getting pretty adept at spreading myself too thin these days…thank god the show is only an hour tonight!

Erin looks kinda matronly in that dress tonight.  Really ages her.  I’m just kinda over Ginger, so none of this package is really resonating with me.

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WATCH???!!! What a bizarre, uninspired, un-cohesive mess.  It was like they did a half-assed freestyle (that was really just cherry-picked props and moves from other routines this season) and then decided to call it a contemporary.  And the judges are seriously gonna gush about how great it was?! Good god, I’m not sure I want to see what else is coming…

Pleasantly surprised that Carrie Ann & Bruno gave it 9’s (although I think that was even kind) while Len falls in line with the narrative and gives it a 10.  And I’ve already heard enough  about Ginger’s back spasms to last a lifetime.

Errrr…that was a pretty rough quickstep from Nyle.  Felt like he never got 100% on top of the beat, and was bouncing out of sync with Peta.  I really wish she had given him a better growth arc over the course of the season.

Paige just schooled both Ginger & Nyle on how to do a redemption dance. Mark also showed Peta & Val what a good choreographer can do.

Len’s critique is utter bullshit. Guess we know who he’s been instructed to prop up…*cough*GINGER*cough*…but 29/30 is still good.

Val, I’mma give you a piece of advice, free of charge: if you yourself do not know how to tap dance with any level of proficiency, DO NOT CHOREOGRAPH A FREESTYLE THAT HAS ANY LENGTH OF TAP DANCING IN IT!!!! That was almost comically bad to watch – Val flailing around doing a tap dance pantomime. The rest was pretty white bread, nothing remarkable. But it’ll prolly get a 30…

…and it does.  I guess the best we can hope for at this point is all 3 freestyles getting a perfect 30, and the judges tossing it to the audience. If they undeservingly shaft Paige, though, I’m guessing they’re reeeeallllly pushing hard for Ginger to win.

Not 100% sure how I felt about Nyle’s freestyle. He danced it well, but I feel like it’s just yet another angsty routine we’ve seen from him. Wish we could have seen something more fun, upbeat, and celebratory.

“Best dance on the show ever”, Carrie Ann? Bitch PLEASE. Go smoke some more crack.

Paige, PLEASE knock this outta the park…

…and she does 🙂 Just lovely.  Anyone else get the impression that we may have just witnessed Mark’s last freestyle on DWTS, though? I have never seen him get so emotional.

And now I’m stepping away for a bit, kids – look for the power rankings in a bit.  Also got a cake to finish.  Aaaaack.