Oy! Ok, for the first time since I started doing these rankings, I have very few notes written in my handy dandy notebook – because I was actually transfixed for most of tonight’s show! This may have been the most entertained I’ve been all season – tonight was delightfully wacky, yet also refined (anyone catch the Hooters reference? 😉 ) – I found myself enjoying both the ballroom & Latin rounds. Although I must point out that there was some definite music ditto-ing tonight – “You Spin Me Right Round” & “Valerie” have both definitely been used in past seasons for a paso & a quickstep, respectively. Could the “fabulous” Harold Wheeler be running out of stuff to play? Hmmmm…
1.) Donny & Kym – I can’t believe I am about to say what I’m about to say: I actually enjoyed both of Donny’s routines tonight (though definitely not for the same reasons lol!). I must have a soft spot for well-executed, sincere waltzes/Viennese waltzes – because just as Michael Irvin won me over with his charming waltz 2 weeks ago, Donny won me over with his this week. Very understated, calm, clean, and pretty. Actually quite lovely to watch, especially since Donny wasn’t trying to yuk it up like he has in the past – if the Donny skeptics are anything like me, they may warm up to him after that number. His paso had me rolling – it was really a hot mess, with the ridiculous costuming (anyone else think Donny’s pants a little more Napoleon Dynamite than Adam Ant?) and the tacky smoke machine/wind machine/cape interlude in the middle…I LOVED EVERY GAUDY SECOND OF IT. This will not be a routine that is easily forgotten (even if some might want to…), and Donny & Kym had the definite boon of performing in the Money Spot (TM). Who cares if they are tied for the lowest score??? They’ve got the fanbase and shock factor working in their favor…
2.) Derek & Joanna – These two would have likely overtaken Donny & Kym for the top spot on my rankings this week, if it weren’t for that chaotic, messy quickstep in the ballroom round. Ai ai ai…it actually pained me to watch it, because I know that they can (and have) done much better. The two of them were bobbing around out of sync like a whack-a-mole game at Chuck E Cheese. Anymore, the quickstep seems to be becoming the “kiss of death” on DWTS, just like it has on SYTYCD…very hard to really “nail”. But man – Joanna & Derek more than made up for it with the artistry, creativity, and execution of their futuristic paso. Honestly, I think any other couple that drew “futuristic” as their decade would have crashed & burned – Derek is honestly on the cutting edge with his choreography & I would not be surprised if this robot paso garnered him an Emmy nomination for best choreography next year. And Joanna was flawless on this one (dunno why Carrie Ann was yammering on about a “misstep”) – I was surprised she was able to nail the robotic, emotionless feel of the dance after being so emotionally invested in previous weeks. That paso (and Heidi & her posse & their tireless campaign for votes for team DJ!) probably saved them this week, although I think they’re really starting to show they’re contenders for the trophy this season…
3.) Mya & Dmitry – What does it say when a couple gets the first perfect score of the season and I still have a hard time seeing them win the whole competition? Accusations of Derek favoritism aside (ahem), I still am feeling very little connection between these two, although I still stand by my claim that it is more Dmitry’s fault than Mya’s. Empirical evidence: those who DVRed tonight’s show, I challenge you to rewatch their quickstep & count how many times they make eye contact with one another, and for how long, and with how much intensity. They barely looked at each other – each step, while flawlessly executed, was aimed at connecting with the audience rather than each other. Ditto to their samba (which I actually really enjoyed!) – it was as if they could have danced the entire routine alone and we wouldn’t have noticed that they were missing a partner (although the samba rolls were pure butter to watch 😉 ) Add to that the trouble of performing in the Crap Spot (TM), and all I’m left really remembering well is that Dmitry kinda reminds me of Paul Rudd’s character in Anchorman with his ’70s ‘stache. The perfect score likely saved them from the danger zone, but I’m not sure they will be so lucky next week…
4.) Kelly & Louis – Kelly is the weakest dancer left in the competition, I will admit that – but she’s definitely improving, and she and Louis are still totally adorable. Great to see sassy, confident Kelly in her foxtrot – she may not have had the greatest feet or arms or frame, but she was fun to watch and seemed to really nail the slinkiness of the foxtrot & looked fantastic doing it. The jive was a little odd for me – loved seeing her in her element (the ’60s really seem to be her era), but the two of them seemed a bit more wrapped up in doing more ’60s moves than actual jive (and the jive they did was pretty mediocre), and they held onto the prop for a bit too long – and I HATE PROPS. But oddly enough, they weren’t at the bottom of the scoreboard this week, and I cannot bring myself to hate them (just like I actually kinda missed walking Hallmark card Michael this week *sniff*). They will likely be in the bottom 2, but I don’t see them getting sent home over Aaron…
5.) Aaron & Karina – Talk about TMI. I didn’t really need to know that Aaron almost tossed his cookies on national television, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t mentioned it. But honestly – that was probably just extra dirt on the coffin for Aaron. These two have been skating on thin ice for weeks now, and I think they only slipped by last week based on Aaron’s jive prowess (if the knockout dance were a popularity contest, Mark would still be around instead of him). His foxtrot felt a little too bouncy to me – as much as it pains me to say it, I agree with Carrie Ann that he does get a bit too “exuberant” and it throws off his technique. Their samba was actually kinda cute (loved the song – I remember groovin’ to Spin Doctors in 4th grade!), but was a bit sloppy at times and isn’t nearly as memorable as any of the other Latin routines for me tonight. They’re the only couple left that’s ever been in danger (and they’ve been in danger MULTIPLE times) and they’re also at the bottom of the scoreboard – oh, and if Twitter is any indicator, the only man in America that may be more hated than Aaron right now is Jon Gosselin. If I were the gambling type, I’d put a decent bet down on Aaron going home tomorrow night, and then take my honey out to Outback with my winnings.
So this has probably been the easiest ranking I’ve done so far – probably because I’m darn near certain that Aaron’s number is up this week. And if it isn’t – well, pigs must be flying on a snowy day in hell. But feel free to argue with me…I will try and be more present in the comments section this week, since I have Wednesday off work. Yay for floating holidays!!! Sound off, everyone…
