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PureDWTS Season 27, Week 1: Who’s Dancing What, And When?

Sorry I’ve been lax, guys – with Heidi currently on vacay, and me just trying to stay on top of work-work and schoolwork, it’s getting hard to keep up. Here’s the songs and dances, per the press release – and here’s our seasonal disclaimer: these are just in alphabetical order unless otherwise indicated, and we probably won’t start hearing about running order until after camera blocking on Sunday. Will also post the voting numbers if they happen to get posted somewhere between now and the show.

So I apparently missed this part in my initial post: the couples are doing the same dance both Monday AND Tuesday night, but to different songs…? No idea if it’s literally the same choreography, just done to different songs, or what – but this kooky.

Other deets from the press release? The whole cast of DWTS Juniors will be there live for the announcement on Tuesday (Sept. 25), which we already knew; and Kenzie Ziegler (Juniors contestant and now an apparent pop star…?) is going to be singing.

Thoughts: seems like they might be pitting the two biggest ability ringers (Tinashe & Alexis) against each other early on, giving them the same dance; I probably would have switched Bobby & Evanna’s dances for week one – given her jive and him foxtrot; seems like the older/less-skilled set got ballroom dances in week one. Juan Pablo getting salsa seems strategic.

Update #1, 9/23/18, 5:30 PM EST: Thanks to Zoe for pointing this out – someone caught a glimpse of the running order for tomorrow night in the background of somebody’s Instagram story. No clue if they’re going off the same running order on Tuesday night or not. In the three key positions, we have Mary Lou & Sasha (first), Juan & Cheryl (top of the 2nd hour), and DeMarcus & Lindsay (last) – that leads me to believe all three have very crowd-pleasing routines that viewers will remember. They seem to have loaded the back half of the show with good dancers (Alexis, Tinashe) and demographic favorites (John, Nancy, Joe, DeMarcus). I don’t think running order has done Nikki any favors, as she is both injured and now has to dance after someone doing the same dance she is, and he’s apparently very, very good. The potentially-worrisome spots are 2nd-5th, and I find it interesting that they’ve stuck two of the contestants that are likely to appeal more towards younger viewers there – Milo & Evanna.  I think they ought to be ok this week, but if they continue to show up there, I think it’s going to be a problem. I think putting Nancy & Joe back-to-back and doing the same dance is only to play up the Val vs. Jenna “rivalry”, which is already making me roll my eyes. 

Update #2, 9/23/18, 7:02 PM EST: Was able to deduce the voting numbers once Bobby & Milo posted theirs – looks like it’s just straight alphabetical order again.  Source also confirmed that the dances on night #2 are completely new: same style of dance, but different choreo and different song.  Now call me crazy, but I actually prefer this to having them do two completely different styles in week 1 – at the very least, they don’t have to learn new timing or technique, and the dances will likely be similar; and if they maybe don’t do so hot on night #1, they can polish whatever issues they might have had and give it another shot on night #2. Still a bit nuts to have them doing 2 dances in week 1, but it’s better than two completely different dance styles…

Update #3, 9/25/18, 5:17 PM EST: Breaking: according to my source, only the bottom 6 couples will be doing their second dance tonight. This will be interesting, as we will get the clearest picture of where the votes are going that we’ve gotten in…well, pretty much EVER.  Discuss 🙂 -Court-

Monday night:

Mary Lou & Sasha – Cha-Cha (song: “Treasure” by Bruno Mars)
Dancing 1st
1-800-868-3409

Milo & Witney – Cha Cha (song: “Free Free Free” by Pitbull feat. Theron Theron)
Dancing 2nd
1-800-868-3410

Evanna & Keo – Foxtrot (song: “Do You Believe in Magic” by Aly & AJ)
Dancing 3rd
1-800-868-3405

Danelle & Artem – Foxtrot (song: “Rise Up” by Andra Day)
Dancing 4th
1-800-868-3403

Bobby & Sharna – Jive (song: “T-R-O-U-B-L-E” by Travis Tritt)
Dancing 5th
1-800-868-3402

Juan Pablo & Cheryl – Salsa (song: “Dinero” by Jennifer Lopez feat. DJ Khaled & Cardi B)
Dancing 6th
1-800-868-3408

Nikki & Gleb – Salsa (“YES” by Louisa feat. 2 Chainz)
Dancing 7th
1-800-868-3412

Alexis & Alan – Jive (song: “Good Golly Miss Molly” by Little Richard)
Dancing 8th
1-800-868-3401

John & Emma – Foxtrot (song: “Good Ol’ Boys (Theme from Dukes of Hazzard)” by Waylon Jennings)
Dancing 9th
1-800-868-3407

Tinashe & Brandon – Jive (“I’m a Lady” by Meghan Trainor)
Dancing 10th
1-800-868-3413

Nancy & Val – Quickstep (song: “It Don’t Mean a Thing” by Club Des Belugas)
Dancing 11th
1-800-868-3411

Joe & Jenna – Quickstep (song: “Fish Out of Water” by Leo Soul)
Dancing 12th
1-800-868-3406

DeMarcus & Lindsay – Cha-Cha (song: “Sweet Sensation” by Flo Rida)
Dancing 13th
1-800-868-3404

 

Tuesday night:

Alexis & Alan – Jive (song: “Shake the Room” by Gamu)
1-800-868-3401

Bobby & Sharna – Jive (song: “Gimme Some Lovin’” by The Spencer Davis Group)
1-800-868-3402

Danelle & Artem – Foxtrot (song: “Strong Ones” by Armin van Buuren feat. Cimo Frankel)
1-800-868-3403

DeMarcus & Lindsay – Cha-Cha (song: “I Like it Like That” by The Blackout Allstars)
1-800-868-3404

Evanna & Keo – Foxtrot (song: “Rewrite the Stars” by Zac Efron & Zendaya)
1-800-868-3405

Joe & Jenna – Quickstep (song: “Check it Out” by Oh the Larceny)
1-800-868-3406

John & Emma – Foxtrot (song: “Orange Colored Sky” by Nat King Cole)
1-800-868-3407

Juan Pablo & Cheryl – Salsa (song: “Tu Sonrisa” by Elvis Crespo)
1-800-868-3408

Mary Lou & Sasha – Cha-Cha (song: “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer)
1-800-868-3409

Milo & Witney – Cha Cha (song: “Good Feeling” by Austin French)
1-800-868-3410

Nancy & Val – Quickstep (song: “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina & The Waves)
1-800-868-3411

Nikki & Gleb – Salsa (“Tres Deseos” by Gloria Estefan)
1-800-868-3412

Tinashe & Brandon – Jive (“Yes” by Merry Clayton)
1-800-868-3413

September 20, 2018 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Sharna Choreographs for SYTYCD; Lindsay & Rylee’s Sister Jensen Survives Another Week

It was week 2 of the live shows last night, and Sharna was one of this week’s choreographers – she choreographed a jive for contemporary dancer Genessy & hip-hop dancer Slavik:

I didn’t actually watch the show, so maybe one of you that did can interject here – but while the choreography was cute (and had far more content than the cha-cha Val choreographed last week), I don’t feel like either one of the contestants really nailed it.  Genessy seemed to go off-time quite a bit, and the tricks felt labored. Nice routine from Sharna, but I think it just goes to show that it’s not nearly as easy for non-ballroom dances to pick up ballroom/Latin as some seem to think it is.

So this happened tonight!!!!!! Firstly @danceonfox thank you for having me, it’s been a long time coming and we finally made it happen ???????????????? So honored to be alongside choreographers that I admire and am in awe of daily. I’ll come back as often as you’ll have me. • Now to my babies!!!! Ahhhhh @itsslavik and @genessyc_ you have me a proud mama right now!! You already know but let me say it again… YOU CRUSHED IT!!! I mean… a STANDING O from the judges too!!!! This wasn’t easy for you, and I certainly wasn’t easy on you, but my goodness… You two have a work ethic and passion like no other. Team work makes the dream work and you two are the dream team. I cannot wait to watch the rest of your journey not only on this show but also all the goodness that will follow it. Stay grounded stay focused and stay in that pocket ????????????????♥️

A post shared by Sharna Burgess (@sharnaburgess) on

Meanwhile, Lindsay & Rylee’s sister Jensen survived the first week of eliminations – Mama Arnold, sis Brynley, and Jordan were on-hand to support her, while Lindsay & Rylee (who looked like they were tied up with rehearsals), campaigned for votes for her on Instagram:

Jensen & her partner, Jay Jay, did what I consider to be a pretty badass African Jazz:

In some less-encouraging news, the two other Latin/ballroom dancers on this season, Cole & Magda (who is a Chmerkovskiy friend) ended up in the bottom 2 last night, but didn’t get sent home. I’m thinking Jensen may be our only hope for a ballroom dancer in the finals this season!

August 14, 2018 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS DWTS Junior Season 1 – The “What To Look Forward To” Spoiler Thread **SPOILERS AHEAD**

So I was struggling with the whole spoiler situation, relative to DWTS Junior – since it’s being pre-taped, for the first time, we have spoilers that could potentially reveal the outcome of a show that’s not due to air for 2 more months…and I’m not really cool with that, since I want people to tune in and actually watch the show; plus I’m not really looking to get into any Reality Steve vs. The Bachelor-style legal brouhaha’s. So if you’re looking for who got eliminated – look elsewhere, I promise there are people on Twitter who are more than willing to share that info with you if you just know where to look. What we’re going to be sharing here is the good stuff – stuff you can look forward to watching once the show starts airing in October 🙂 What we share may vary week to week, based on what we hear from sources and people fortunate enough to attend the taping…I’m leaving this a bit open-ended, until I figure out the right format for it. I’ll update as I hear more, so stay tuned. Now if you’re just looking for pro/celeb/mentor/etc. spoilers, go here; if you are looking for an explanation of how scoring/voting will work, go here.  Be warned – spoiler-y stuff after the jump… Read more..

August 1, 2018 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 26, Week 3 – Power Rankings

In light of the fact that I’m now writing my last power rankings of the season (I think…admittedly, I haven’t been paying close attention to the schedule) and it’s only week 3, safe to say this abbreviated season has been very, very weird. I generally find myself (and the fans that follow me on Twitter) not as invested as I would be on a full 10-week season, and I think I really and truly don’t have any investment in one couple winning over another.  All the pros left have never won before – so we will have a new pro champion, regardless; and that’s really enough for me, since I think their respective celebs have all had very satisfying, fulfilling journeys on the show this season. I’m actually finding myself more and more pumped to get started on DWTS Junior – more on that in the coming weeks 😉

So this week, Grandpa was back as a judge, and while I don’t think he was necessarily as helpful as Shad when it came to judging, I’m glad he was there to be the “nice” judge, and occasionally throw an optimistic bone to the couples that maybe didn’t do so hot (as evidenced by his tendency to dissent on the ballroom battles – bless him). I’ve heard a few people throwing shade in Grandpa & Shad’s direction, claiming that they “weren’t qualified” to judge, and at this point I have to ask “Have you guys actually been watching the show? And comprehending what’s been going on?” Nearly none of the guest judges are “qualified” in the same sense that the Three Stooges are – and for that, I’m glad.  I don’t need another Len getting grumpy about content, or another Carrie Ann incoherently babbling about non-existent lifts, or another Bruno flamboyantly gushing about whatever it is he gushes about – anymore, it’s kind of nice to have someone on the panel that can look at a dance from a non-technical perspective and say “Y’know what? That may not have been technically perfect, but I enjoyed it!” And really, the extra points dump from a 4th judge only makes the margins closer, so it basically gives more power to the viewer vote.  So if you’re bitching & moaning about unqualified judges at this point – you’re out of your element, Donnie.

We also got some pseudo-quasi mentoring from returning celebs Meryl, Nastia, & Von – and in the case of the latter, I’m thinking this was probably all thrown together fairly last-minute, as Von couldn’t even be present to actually mentor his couples in person, and did his mentoring via Skype.  Have to wonder if they had another returning celeb lined up, and they had to cancel at the last minute, necessitating the scramble for another and Von maybe just happened to be (semi)available. The bumpers we got from these returning celebs ranged from rather marginal (Von) to “Ok, but was that the best choreo you could give her?” (Meryl) and “Actually pretty decent, but man was the camera work terrible!” (Nastia), and seemed like a bit of an afterthought overall. I have a love-hate relationship with the random ways they try to bring back former contestants, as it’s usually pretty flimsy, but in the same token, I do love seeing (some) alums of the show back in the ballroom.

Not a whole lot else to add – seems like the writing is on the wall with this one.  Shall we? Read more..

May 15, 2018 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 24, Week 9 – Power Rankings

In season 12, it was Ralph.  In season 18, it was Charlie. In season 20, it was Nastia. In season 22, it was Wanya…and in season 24, it was Simone. Following the precedent they set back in 2011, the show has managed to screw a worthy contestant out of a spot in the spring finale for four consecutive seasons now – and more often than not, it seems to happen in order to lend a hand to one of the Chmerkovskiy brothers.  It’s getting BEYOND predictable, to the point of the spring season almost following a template: let things happen organically for the first few weeks, then determine who needs to make the finale (must take mandatory Chmerkovskiy quota into account) and be sure to start neutralizing any threats (read: other good dancers that might prevent a Chmerkovskiy from making it into the finale) by having the judges underscore, nitpick, and generally demean said threats until the generally gullible cross-section of the voting audience (the “sheeple”) actually start to believe that contestant really isn’t any good after all and ceases voting for them. And because of this template, I have ZERO sympathy for the judges – practice your shocked faces all you want, but what happened last night was a direct result of all the meddling you’ve done.  The blood is on your hands, and I better not hear implications of “The audience has to vote! You guys sent Simone home!” next week – you don’t get to pull the puppet strings all season long and manipulate the viewers, and then blame Simone’s elim on them.

But I’m guessing that’s inevitably going to be part of the narrative next week, as they seem to be gunning for a 3rd MBT for Prince Joffrey Val – the “we’ve sent two of the best dancers home – don’t let it happen again!” strategy seems to imply that viewers should vote for the best dancer left, which if you believe the judges’ scores and critiques, is Normani (I don’t agree). If the audience is more woke than I give them credit for, it may more broadly imply “vote for one of the good dancers”, which would mean Normani & Rashad, and imply that voters should not be voting for David.  I’ve gotten several questions about how things are going to shake out next week, and I’m not 100% sure (like just about everything else this season), but I feel fairly confident in stating that they will likely lowball the sh*t out of David – as Heidi has stated multiple times before, the judges like to be RIGHT, and a season of gushing about pro dancer Normani only to have halfway-decent dancer David take the MBT makes them look…dumb. I think David is going to get the Noah/Alek treatment relative to the other two – scores several points lower on his two night 1 dances, to the point where votes won’t be enough to bridge the gap between him and Rashad/Normani.  As for the other two – who knows. The fact that they seemed a bit more lukewarm on Normani last night makes me think they’ve already accomplished what they really wanted – ensure Val makes the finale, to continue the narrative of Val being the “star of the show” and hopefully gain some younger viewers from Normani’s fanbase – and they won’t care quite so much about what happens from here on out.  The other part of me thinks they’re saying “Go big or go home!!!” and will continue the OTT gushing in an attempt to secure MBT #3 for Val. There’s just so much funny business going on that I just cannot state with certainty what exactly TPTB are trying to accomplish.  However, if you’re trying to be strategic with your vote (and some of you have expressed a desire to do just that), I would recommend tossing them to Rashad – and I’m not just saying that as a Shad fan 🙂 As I mentioned above, I think they’re going to score David such that it’s going to be a huge uphill battle to catch up to Shad & Normani, and I think there’s at least a decent chance that Normani is going to continue to get pimped right up until the MBT is handed out – so if you’re looking to really stick it to TPTB, I think Shad’s your best bet.

As for poor Simone – I think the thing that made me the saddest about the whole thing is that she almost seemed relieved to be heading home.  That speaks volumes – the fact that she had a meltdown in practice about doing the best she can and it not being good enough for the judges tells me that this show had long since stopped being fun for her.  This show BROKE her, to the point where not continuing seemed like a better bet than continuing on in the competition. So I guess if that’s what she really wanted at the end of the day – I’m happy for her, and glad she could go out on a high note. Other random thoughts? SO. MUCH. FILLER. LAST. NIGHT. If we cut out the two guest performances and cut back on mic time for random people (i.e. Normani’s grandma), I’m willing to bet we could have shaved a half hour or more off the running time. And I feel like every pro, current or former, that isn’t tied up with the DWTS tour is now trying to pull a Derek & Julianne and start their own tour…and each kinda feels like a less fully-realized version of MOVE. Yeah, it was kinda cool seeing Cheryl doing something really different for her – but it felt more like contemporary by numbers, than a truly creative, connected performance. Read more..

May 16, 2017 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 24, Week 8 – Power Rankings

Wow…I’m honestly not even sure where to begin. I feel like last night’s show was just 2 hours of the judges/PTB spanking the viewers for not voting how they (the judges/PTB) feel they SHOULD be voting. And the judges reached new lows – between Len telling Bonner “you should have gone home already!” and Carrie Ann deciding that David’s critique was a great time to shade Rashad (disrespectful to both men, really), to every judge giving vague, rambling, directionless critiques based on absolutely nothing, my head was spinning by the end. And my blood was boiling, because I think last night things legitimately got a bit sexist, too – between the judges giving Simone a hard time about smiling too much/not enough, Val & Alan doffing their shirts and shifting focus away from Normani, Sharna & Britt begrudgingly selling their souls in that trio, and watching female pros bite their tongues and try not to show they were upset by the critiques they were getting (while a certain male pro basically acts like a mouthy teenager every week and talks back to Len), I honestly felt sickened. Heidi & I are still gonna write that sexism post I promised you guys – but at this point, I think I need a cooling off period before I’m able to discuss it without absolutely losing my sh*t.

So Bonner went home, to the surprise of basically no one – but I will say that, for awhile there, I was seriously wondering if he was safe, with as cruel as they were being to him. Two unflattering packages, a sleazy trio dance to a terrible song, getting mocked by Val & Alan, two bad scores, and Len basically calling him out to his face on live national television – it seemed to point more to “he’s sticking around, but we want to make sure that he ain’t gonna survive next week’s elim!” But thankfully, he did end up going home – especially since they decided to share a sleazy clip of him during the trio rehearsal.  Yes, he might have gotten a bad edit – but they can’t actually edit you in such a way that you say “maybe I could spank you both on the butt!” if you didn’t actually say it. Or gesture it. Anywho – bye-bye, Bonner. You hopefully freed up Sharna’s schedule so she can fly to Indy and watch Hinch in the Indy Grand Prix this weekend 🙂

And then there were four – and next week’s elim is probably gonna hurt. I think everyone left deserves to be in the finale for different reasons, and would be fine if they ended up deciding to take all four to the finale; but my initial guess that they’re aiming for a Rashad-Simone-Normani finale doesn’t feel so concrete anymore – part of me wonders if they’ve grown accustomed to the new viewers and votes that David has brought to the show, and don’t want that gravy train to end…so I still think there’s at least a slight chance he could edge out one of the three above and make it to the finals. I’m also not entirely positive who he might displace – my gut says Normani, because her voting fanbase is still untested and she seems to be the one that gets the most help in term of gushing critiques and inflated scores; but they seemed to nitpick the life out of Simone & Rashad last night – will America buy it? If some of the comments I’ve been seeing are any indicator, the answer is no – people seem especially pissed about how Simone was treated. So I guess I’m still leaning towards a Simone-Rashad-Normani finale, with David potentially playing spoiler to Normani. Read more..

May 9, 2017 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 24, Week 6 – Power Rankings

Anyone else missing Derek & Mark (and their choreography) something fierce right about now??? Because my god – if last night wasn’t an exercise in choreographic futility for some of our pros, then I don’t know what the hell it was. On top of that, the judges seemed eerily kind to just about everyone (except Nick, which we’ll get into later), which left me with this unpleasant sense of foreboding for most of the show – like I was waiting for something bad to happen, but I wasn’t sure what.  Basically, the same feeling I had while watching the first 20 minutes of last season’s Game of Thrones finale – but thankfully, when it all played out, I felt less like Margaery & more like Cersei, because something that Heidi & I had be predicting would happen eventually, happened: Heather got outsted in a “shocking” (but not really, if you actually think about it) elimination. We had been saying she was the most likely candidate for the token “shock” elim this season, but I don’t think we were anticipating it happening this early on – I myself had her making it to at least week 7, I think. But when you take into account the turd of a routine her pro foist upon her last week, and the fact that most of the general viewing audience couldn’t really get past her basically being a professional dancer herself, she followed the basic formula for getting “Sabrina’d”: the minute a skilled dancer dips below a certain score threshold, they get sent home because they Just. Aren’t. Getting. The. Votes. If you want to see a breakdown of just how few votes Heather was getting (or rather, just how much better than Heather everyone else was doing), go reread Heidi’s Dancing By the Numbers. I wish I could say I was disappointed by a good dancer getting sent home before some less-skilled ones, but I made no secret of it that I never really found myself enjoying Heather’s performances – and it was a combination of lack of connection to the audience on her part, and just plain subpar choreography from Maks on the other. Add in the fact that Maks managed to find TWO ways to proverbially spit in Alan’s face last night, and I’m left saying “Toodles, Heather & Maks – don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!” Not gonna lie, though: part of me would love to see Alan as a pro next season, and have Maks left out in the cold – karma could be such a perfect bitch 😎

Which brings me to a few notes on demographics.  I think I warned everyone a month ago that Chris, Erika, Heather, & Normani were the four most likely to struggle with fanbase issues this season – three of them are now gone. You Harmonizers still feeling so confident about Normani’s voting fanbase? I saw quite a few folks wringing hands after it was announced that everyone on the girls’ team was in jeopardy, and many of them seemed convinced that Nancy was the one headed home.  You guys do realize that she aligns almost perfectly with the main viewing demographic of the show, right? A middle-aged Olympian with an inspiring backstory? Please help me understand why you thought a C-list-at-best, 30-something professional dancer from a 2-years-defunct teen tv show that was being given highly mediocre choreo by her partner was somehow going to outlast that Olympian, who so far has thrived and been given solid routines by her partner? It’s important to remember that sometimes, this show is about everything EXCEPT the dancing – in this case, the fact that Heather was already a great dancer didn’t matter to a lot of folks. If anything, it seemed to turn them off. They seemed to prefer Nancy’s journey to Heather’s already-professional polish. I also think Nancy has come off far more relatable and down-to-earth than Heather ever did on the show – and trust me when I say that can make a bigger difference than a few points, sometimes.

As for the rest of the show – Nick was an ok guest judge; seemed excited to be there and tried to give insightful critiques, but I think he came across a tad disingenuous at times. He also seemed like a bit of a yes-man, and had been fed a list of instructions on what to say and to whom (“Make sure you mention that Normani could win this whole thing! And don’t go easy on Nick V.!”) But I was pleased to see he gave Rashad a “10” when the other judges were whipping out 9’s – seemed to make up for Carrie Ann’s uncalled-for “7” last week. Opener seemed bland, like it was an afterthought – “Crap, what are we gonna do for the opener this week??? IDK, just…line everyone up or something…” Can’t say I missed Julianne too much – guess the Move Beyond tour didn’t leave any time for the “Ballroom is soooo different than what Heather does!” apology tour this week…and now Heather’s gone. Wuh wuh wuhhhhh. Read more..

April 25, 2017 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 24, Week 3 – Power Rankings

So Vegas week – I was predicting a “Cirque Du Soleil Week” redux, so my expectations were pretty low.  I think that may have helped, because while I wasn’t blown away on the whole by the dances we saw last night, I also didn’t end up really hating any of them, either. Thank goodness for small miracles 🙂

Now that we’re three weeks in, I think the narrative for the season is taking shape – and I don’t think it’s necessarily what TPTB had intended/hoped for. I think the main problem they’re having is that the viewers as a whole seem to be eschewing the female ringers (particularly Ringy McRingerson herself, Heather) in favor of the ridiculously charming male contestants with no dance experience but a ton of heart (read: David & Rashad). Additionally, with Maks’ injury, Peta looking like a sleep-deprived zombie, and Val being jet-lagged, I think the original intent to make Maks, Peta, & Val the focal points of this season is kinda falling apart – and it seems like the better story might be a finale with the other engaged couple that hasn’t gotten a whole lotta respect until this season (Sasha & Emma), and an extremely talented pro that has made it to at least the semi-finals the last three seasons (Lindsay). Now because it still is very early, and I only trust TPTB as far as I can throw them (and I have little to no upper body strength), I wouldn’t put it past them to try and shock some life back into their original plan to prop up the C-bros plus Peta – but I’m beginning to wonder if they’re starting to see the writing on the wall as far as the viewers are concerned…that maybe the audience cares less about another MBT in the Dance with Me trophy case, and more about a likeable, entertaining celeb winning.

Other thoughts? The opening number was cute, but perhaps a tad sloppy; loved the showgirl costumes (even though the last traditional Vegas showgirl act took a final bow in February of last year – RIP, Jubilee!), but what were supposed to be bachelorette costumes looked more like prostitute costumes to me 😛 Julianne & Derek, as always, were a revelation – that dance felt like the sequel to the “Elastic Heart” routine, and I found myself really appreciating the elite quality of movement and artistry they both have.  Kinda makes the regular routines we saw last night pale in comparison, but still worthwhile 🙂 Carrie Ann idiotically decided to resurrect the lift police, calling out everyone EXCEPT HEATHER. Coincidence? Doubt it. Charo getting eliminated? Slightly shocking, because I felt like they kinda padded her score last week while T got kinda hosed; but given the whole drama with her allegedly threatening to quit last week, and some of the backlash I saw on social media from her behavior, I guess it’s not a complete shock. Was she eliminated or did she leave on her own accord? You decide. Just kinda sucks that her best dance (and the strongest piece of choreo we’ve seen from Keo since Jodie’s season) came during the week she was eliminated. But I gotta give him major props for dealing with a pretty unruly partner – he’s definitely come a long way since his first season as a pro. Read more..

April 4, 2017 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 24, Week 2 – Power Rankings

To begin, here is a list of things I’m totally over seeing/hearing about on DWTS this season:

1.) Explanations of how Heather doesn’t have an advantage due to being a professional dancer.
2.) Production/the judges trying to angle for a showmance between Bonner & Sharna.
3.) Len generally being cranky about anything that doesn’t fit a rigid set of standards, and scoring to “make a point” as a result.
4.) How tired Normani is/how jet-lagged she & Val are.
5.) Charo generally being unruly.

It’s only week 2, and already, all of the above items have been beaten like a dead horse. Time to find some new material, production.

Beyond all those low points, I’d rate last night about a 6/10 – not bad, per se, but still kinda bland in terms of what I’ve come to expect from DWTS.  Front half of the show was a pretty big snooze, and they seem to load the back hour with the stronger performances. One pleasant surprise: Rupaul himself in the audience, out of drag, and rooting for Charo. I daresay he’s probably wayyyy too big a get for DWTS (and given my recent talk about demographics, probably not someone who would be extraordinarily popular with the main viewing audience), but one can dream 🙂

Part of me is a tad sad to see Chris go – no, he wasn’t a great dancer, but he wanted to be there, and I had no idea he had such a serious injury.  Definitely explains a lot about why he disappeared from the public eye for awhile, and Witney sympathizing with him showed me a new, more mature side of her. At the very least, he went out on a high note, with a fun dance that he did decently well with. Maybe we can look forward to a more in-depth Night at the Roxbury-themed dance from him at the finale 😛 Read more..

March 28, 2017 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 23, Week 10 – Power Rankings

It’s nights like last night that make me seriously question why I continue to watch DWTS, let alone write about it – because there was some seriously skeezy, very manipulative stuff going on, and the agenda could not have been more clear.  Someone on Twitter asked me last week how we get our predictions about who’s going home/how the judges are going to score/who’s going to get pimped or hosed correct so often – and last night I found myself seriously questioning whether it’s the fact that we’ve been doing this for 7 years now, and just sharpen our skills each season…or if the show has just gotten more and more obvious with their agenda, thereby just making it that much easier to predict what’s going to happen.  It’s a very disconcerting thought to be having…

…so while we’re on the topic of disconcerting things we saw last night, I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way and leave it up to you whether you continue to read after this point or not: I was very, very disappointed (and kinda disgusted) with how Laurie’s package about her grandmother’s death was handled. And before some of you turn your moral outrage to a fever pitch, know this: BEING DISAPPOINTED IN LAURIE’S PACKAGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW LAURIE HANDLED HER GRIEF, AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HOW THE PRODUCERS EXPLOITED IT. The very fact that I have to even preface this commentary with that makes me seriously weary of how emotionally unintelligent some DWTS fans have become, as I witnessed on Twitter last night, and does not give me a whole lot of hope for continued intelligent discussion in future seasons. But I found the way they chose to hone in on Laurie crying, lamenting the fact that she didn’t get one more trip home to see her grandma, and then playing the clip of her grandmother wishing her good luck at the end seemed like “emotion porn” – taking Laurie’s genuine grief and cobbling it together in such a way that it seemed extra devastating, and only seemed to rub Laurie’s face in her own sorrow.  It looked like Val didn’t warn her not to watch the package before their foxtrot, because she did seem very thrown-off by it, and a little choked up during her dance.  So many people feel the need to remind me each week that Laurie “is only 16”; so yes – given that, maybe it wasn’t in the best taste of the producers to create a package that could very easily have compounded the poor girl’s guilt about not getting to see her grandmother one more time. Also saw a lot of folks on Twitter justifying it with “well they did the same thing to Bindi” –  sorry, but Bindi’s father had been gone for 9 years when she did her season; Laurie’s grandmother passed away just a few days ago.  Big difference in the way one interprets grief immediately after a death and then several years after a death, and Derek at least had the forethought to warn Bindi not to listen to her packages, lest they affect her performance. Laurie kinda got thrown headlong into it – she handled it well, but am I alone in thinking that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t in the best taste to create a package that hinged upon Laurie’s guilt about not getting more time with her grandmother…and then kinda ambushing her with it? It is possible to create a package with a theme of remembrance that doesn’t victimize those grieving – we’ve seen this show do it. And given that I’ve had people forwarding me links to interviews this morning where Val has said that he actually knew about Laurie’s grandmother dying BEFORE she did and that the interview with her grandmother happened 10 weeks ago (and not last week, as the package led us to believe), makes me all the more weary of how the show handled the whole thing.  It stinks…bad.

Moving right along to another bone of contention from last night’s show – wonky/inconsistent/agenda-filled scoring/judging that was clearly meant to shield some while disadvantaging others.  James got nitpicked, so as to justify not tying Laurie with a perfect score; Calvin got severely low-balled, so as to keep him from getting too close to Jana; Laurie got treated with kid gloves; Jana got overly kind scores & critiques.  The judges copped out and gave everyone the same score on their trio, which basically just made the margins a bit smaller – something that I don’t think would have happened if Len had been there, and needless to say I cannot WAIT to have him back next week…although I have to wonder if he will just follow the company line and only award 9’s & 10’s.  We had already kinda gotten the feeling that Terra was a goner headed into this week, and the fact that they gave her a perfect 60 for the night was the final nail in the coffin, I’m afraid – Rob Wade got his ideal finale, which did not include a little person who was actually more technically proficient than at least one of the finalists.  Sad to see Terra go, because she was a good dancer and I got the impression she really was having fun on the show – but as with many sh*ttastic things that happen on this show these days, not entirely unexpected. Read more..

November 15, 2016 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.