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DWTS Season 11 – The Myth of Bristol

Okay, I threatened to do this a while ago and now I’m doing it. I’m putting my fingers to the key board to answer the question – how did Bristol last as long as she did? Was it really a Tea Party, or just dumb luck and silly judges?

This post isn’t really even about Bristol herself – it’s about the judges scores versus the voting. People always claim that the judges scores mean nothing. Well, bull, they’re worth 50% – it’s the judges who decide whether they mean very little or if they mean A LOT. The way the judges scored most of this season, they were irrelevant. When push came to shove, in the finale, they got their act together. I argue that it should happen sooner – like Week 7 or so.

Okay, with that out of the way, let’s get back to business with a recap:

Week 1 – The Departure of The Hoff

I consider this the first, and one of the bigger, shocks of the season.  But maybe German’s didn’t realize they can indeed vote on DWTS, if they are properly educated on how to do so. 🙂 Anyway, the bottom scorers this week were:

– The Hoff, 15
– The Sitch, 15
– Margaret, 15
– Michael, 16
– Florence, 18
– Bristol, 18

So, that one really shouldn’t have been a shock, as he was one of the low scorers.  No surprise that Bristol stayed, much surprise that Margaret stayed. 🙂  Bristol had a whole lot of people with lower scores (and less infamy) than her.

Week 2 – Dog Houses are very, very bad.

Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower exit the competition after a thorough humiliation. One that was hard to watch indeed.  The bottom scorers were:

– Michael, 12
– Margaret, 18
– The Situation, 18
– Florence, 19

See, the judges were already giving Bristol 22 at this point for dancing that wasn’t that good. You expect me to believe that Bristol was only 2 points behind Jennifer Grey, who did a seriously kick ass jive?? Sorry, but nope.  In any case, Bristol was never in any danger thanks to overscoring AND people who were worse than her. Anyway, Michael was no great shock really, now that I think about it.  A 12 is very hard to overcome when the next lowest was an 18.  He had to get 27,000 more votes per million votes cast in order to stick around.

Week 3 – Rainbows are bad too??

Nah, not really. Louis was saying on Twitter that Margaret going the gay pride route was what did her in, but what I really think happened was that after that first dance no one took her seriously. She lasted as long as she did because The Hoff and The Bolton were so much worse.  I don’t think gay pride had anything to do with it – but maybe I’m naïve.   The bottom scorers were:

– Margaret, 18
– Bristol, 19
– Florence, 20
– The Sitch, 20

Now we see Bristol hit the bottom 2 in scores – but Margaret is the low scorer, here. No great stretch. Marge needed 4,500 votes to catch Bristol (chump change) and there is no way that was happening. No shocks here.

Week 4 – Here’s the Situation as I see it

Poor Situation, and by extension, poor Courtney. 🙂 He did well making it to the fourth week though, I have to say. The bottom scorers this week were:

– Situation, 28
– Bristol, 32
– Florence, 34
– Kurt, 35

Again, we see Bristol insulated by a 4 point cushion – not a huge number, but she’s not the low scorer and Sitch was a worse dancer. For the Situation to stay, he had to get 11,200 more votes than Bristol per 1 million votes cast.  Say thank you to your judges, because they are charting the course of Season 11 history here.  That 4 points isn’t huge – but it still counts.  No great shock that Bristol stuck around when put up against a relative unknown (to DWTS audience) guy who is 4 points behind her. And him being the worse dancer helped. 🙂

Week 5 – Serious Monkey Business

This is the week where the wheels fell off, IMO.  I dare say that Michael Bolton was more than a little irate to see Bristol wear a Monkey suit and still get an 18.  I dare say that any pro who’s gotten scolded pretty harshly from Len for use of a prop (Maks, Derek, Dmitry…) was more than a little irate at the end of this night as well.  Remember when Nicole and Derek did a FANTASTIC quickstep that broke a ton of rules? Len gave them a 6. Then Len turns around this season and gives Bristol a 6 after forgetting most of her steps and wearing a Monkey suit. And you still wanna know why Bristol is still around at this point? 🙂 Hint: it ain’t the Tea Party – unless of course Len whipped out his silver tea set on the commercial break. 🙂 Check out this weeks scores:

– Bristol, 18
– Kyle, 20
– Florence, 21
– Audrina, 23

Kyle the Popular is only TWO points ahead of a girl who danced in a monkey suit. TWO.  And Audrina, who dances better on her worst day than Bristol does on her best, is only 5 points ahead of girl in monkey suit.  Florence is only three points ahead of Bristol – and three points ain’t nothing particularly when 8 or 7 people are getting votes. The voting is spread out over more people than it is in later weeks. Florence ultimately goes home, which means that:

Kyle got 5,500 more votes per million votes cast than she did, AND;

Bristol got 16,500 more votes per million votes cast than she did.

That may seem like a lot for Bristol to achieve, but in reality it is only 1.65 percent – a tiny number. Here’s another way to look at it: this was the week where you got 8 votes per phone and 8 votes per email address. So say the average person uses one phone and one email – that means only about 1,000 more people needed to vote for Bristol than they did for Florence. Of course not everyone who watches votes…but everyone who votes doesn’t use ONLY two accounts. We’re dealing in what could be very small numbers, here.

Week 6 – The Real Shocker

Okay, THIS was a shocking elimination – but after you really think about it for a bit, you realize maybe not.   Audrina is in the top two for judge’s scores and goes home. Because of Bristol? Hardly. There was a lot more at play here.  These were the scores for the week:

– Kurt, 22
– Bristol, 28
– Jennifer, 29
– Rick and Kyle, 30
– Audrina, 32
– Brandy, 36

There are FIVE people with lower scores than Audrina going into the audience vote. Five. The spread between the low scorer and Audrina is TEN points. Now that is a nice big number.  But is it shocking that Bristol stayed and Audrina when home? No – there is only 4 points between them, while Kurt is 10 points behind her.  When the second highest scorer goes home when there are 7 dancers?? It means that person wasn’t getting votes, period, not that Kurt and Bristol had huge fanbases. It wasn’t just Bristol that beat her, after all.  Kurt had to get nearly 5% more of the vote than her, or 48,500 more votes per million votes cast. Bristol only needed 1.93% – her highest margin of the season up until the finale. And of course, Jennifer, Rick and Kyle all had to make up a difference as well.

Audrina suffered from the model curse, IMO. Very beautiful but relatively unknown to the DWTS voters. Combine that with being paired with Tony and having a high score that week and you can kiss her goodbye. People continue to assume that if a dancer has a high score they are safe. Several of us on this blog had expressed concern about her longevity for these reasons. Put Audrina up against the movie icon, the fun Disney kid, the daughter of an infamous political figure, and two well liked (and well known) athletes? Then pair her with Tony instead of Derek and her odds get worse. Nothing against Tony, but, like it or not, Derek can make a model stick around longer – Joanna Krupa was far more unpopular than Audrina was popular.  With all these conditions, Audrina was never destined to go higher.

Week 7 – The Athletes Split the Votes

That’s one of my theories anyway. People who are inclined to go the athlete route had two to choose from.  Still think it’s Bristol’s fault? Nah.  This is only the second time that Bristol has been the low scorer and it isn’t by that much:

– Bristol, 57
– Kyle, 59
– Rick/Kurt, 61
– Jennifer/Brandy, 64

There is a significant problem here. First, when you hand out that many points in a week (366) and still keep the margin at 7 points between the top and bottom you actually decrease the percentage the low scorer needs to stick around. If they did the typical 30 point possible and had a spread between the top scorer and the bottom scorer of 7 points, the bottom scorer would need more than 5% to beat the top scorer. In this week, with a total points awarded of 366, there was ONLY a spread of 1.91% between Bristol and Brandy/Jennifer.  When you are talking less than a percent between the bottom FOUR scorers, of course it’s going to be anyone’s game.  Did Rick’s fans assume he was safe because of that four point cushion? Who knows? Were Kyle and Bristol fans really, really worried?? Probably. If those two sets of fans are worried, how hard do they really have to work? Kyle’s fans had to get 0.55% more and Bristol’s fans had to get 1.01% more.  Piece. Of. Cake. Odds are always good that the low scorers fans are going to vote like maniacs and it doesn’t take many maniacs to make up 1.01%.

Week 8 – Well, I think it was Close.

Seriously, Kurt versus Bristol with Bristol being the low scorer – but only by a point. We know what a point really means at this point, don’t we? Nothing. In this case, it was obviously going to be one of the two of them and I wager it was very close. Of course, I base that on what happened in the finale, so of course hind sight is 20-20.  Here were the scores for Week 8:

– Bristol, 47
– Kurt, 48
– Kyle, 57
– Brandy/Jennifer, 58

Much better point spread this week between the top and the bottom – but still that 10 points only means that Bristol is 3.77 percent behind Brandy/Jennifer.  That’s a small number and it’s again the result of a higher number of points awarded.  So, if there is only 3.77 % between the top and bottom, it’s not hard to believe that there is only 0.38% between Bristol and Kurt – that’s no spread at all. I will say it again – Bristol didn’t need a miracle to stay over Kurt. Not at all. She only needed a couple dozen more fans than Kurt who were passionate about her staying. Maybe not even that many if they were power voting.

Week 9 – Tragedy

Well, I think it was a tragedy, anyway. Even though my favorite won, I would have liked to see a real competition. Brandy/Kyle/Jennifer would have been great.  But the question is – did Bristol play spoiler? Hmmm…Maybe for the first time.  But how much of it was Bristol and how much of it was Brandy herself? How much of it was the judges?? Again, the judges had a great deal of influence – look at the scores:

– Bristol, 53
– Brandy, 57
– Kyle, 58
– Jennifer, 60

Bristol only 4 points behind Brandy? Seriously?? People keep saying the judges scores mean nothing, but I think they’ve got it backwards – the judges scores mean everything, just  not in a good way. By scoring Bristol relative only to herself, THEY give her more potential to stick around longer.  Now, I understand doing that early on – but this was the 9th week and it was time to turn into a hard ass and they all FAILED.  Sometimes I think the judges think they are being tough, like above, giving Bristol a 53. Problem is, they don’t really get how the scoring and the audience vote works out either – or it doesn’t appear so, anyway. Because that 4 points equals 1.75%. How many time have I said how little 4 points amounts to? It’s a pittance. When you have Kyle being a likeable teddy bear, Jennifer Grey being JENNIFER GREY and Bristol getting all the buzz (plus the Vote for the Worst crew), Brandy is going to need more than that 4 points – she wasn’t getting any attention that week. No attention = kiss of death.

Week 10 – The Finale Tells the Tale.

And Bristol takes 3rd. And in doing so we learn the limits of her voting fanbase.   The final scores were:

– Bristol, 104
– Kyle, 110
– Jennifer, 118

Again, because so many points were awarded, the spread between them goes down even though the points difference seems greater.  That six points between Kyle and Bristol only equates to 2.75%, which is not that much greater than the spread between her and Brandy. But it is clearly enough to knock Bristol out of the game. I think there were a few things at work here – the judges finally started scoring them relative to each other, or seriously ranking them. When they do that, it makes an impact. But that wasn’t all – people finally figured out that if they didn’t want Bristol to win, they had to vote like hell for someone else. The highest number of votes in the history of the show isn’t going to benefit Bristol, as much as the Tea Party would like to think otherwise – hey, DWTS mirrors real life!! 😉

At the end of the day, Bristol was eliminated because she couldn’t get past the 2.75% between her and Kyle. That was the largest spread she ever had to overcome over the entire 10 weeks of the competition.   Here’s a summation of where Bristol was each week – if she was the low scorer, I put the margin she had to overcome.

–          Week 1 – Not in the bottom 4

–          Week 2 – Not in the bottom 5

–          Week 3 – Margaret was low scorer, Margaret went home

–          Week 4 – Sitch was low scorer, Sitch went home

–          Week 5 – 1.65%

–          Week 6 – Kurt was low score by 6 points, Audrina went home

–          Week 7 – 1.01%

–          Week 8 – 0.38%

–          Week 9 – 1.75%

–          Week 10 – 2.75% – Bristol is eliminated first.

Now, do you still think that it’s surprising that Bristol lasted as long as she did?? I would hope not. I would also hope that people realize they have to vote for their favorite because the judges don’t put in enough of a spread between the dancers to amount to anything.

The moral of the story is – the judges scores mean everything, when they actually rank the contestants. 😉 But if they don’t?? You best vote.

December 16, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS – Media Who Is It, Dance With me Updates

Hi!!! How are all of you Pure Dancettes today?? Just a few media updates. First of all, would you like to guess which pro-dancer this is? Answer will be revealed in the comment section tomorrow sometime. 😉

Next, and special thanks to PureDWTS fan Evaine, here is Maks with a new “Dance with me Soho” update. He tells us what he’s been up to and introduces Tony as his new partner in his dance studio ventures. They both are shooting a really HOT photo shoot that I can’t get enough of. I want too see more. Maks has disabled the embedding, but, you can SEE IT >>>HERE at his You Tube Channel.

Special thanks to PureDWTS fan Figmentation for more news on the “Same Sex Couple” idea. It sounds like ABC is canning the idea for now. Here is a take from Celebuzz.

After toying with the idea of including a same-sex couple on the next season of Dancing With the Stars, ABC has abandoned the notion, PopEater’s Rob Shuter reports.

A source within the network tells Shuter that the plan fell through after Ellen DeGeneres’ wife Portia de Rossi turned down an offer to appear on the show and ABC was unable to come up with a non-controversial replacement:

“If Portia had agreed then this would have been a done deal. She was the only star that could have pulled this off without completely offending the program’s conservative viewers.”

Now, the source adds, producers have decided to hold off on the idea for a few years, hoping that cultural attitudes change, and don’t plan to “rush into creating a same-sex dancing couple just to get attention and publicity.”

In other DWTS ideas and possible contenders, what do you think about the idea of Lindsay Lohan as a contestant next Season? I’m kind of negative on the idea. It depends if she’s kicked her drug habits and done her time. Though that is controversial in and of itself being she’s never had to fully serve it. Why, I don’t know? Don’t the courts realize how much they are hurting her by letting her have her way? But, here is Kyle Massey’s thoughts. He’d also like to see Oprah and Kayne West do the show. Oh boy, not sure on the Kayne West idea either. 😮

Speaking of Kyle, he and Lacey helped with “Skating With The Stars” this past week. Unfortunately, the couple they helped had to back out since one of them was sick. From The Examiner. I love Lacey’s advice on how every “move” should mean something and be performed with intent. So true.

‘Dancing with the Stars’: Kyle, Lacey coach ‘Skating’s’ Brandon, Keauna — One of the most popular pairs from Season 11 of Dancing with the Stars appeared again on television Monday night. Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer were brought in to coach Skating with the Stars’ competitors Brandon Mychal Smith and his professional partner, Keauna McLaughlin.

Mr. Smith and Ms. McLaughlin visited the dancing couple in the dance studio. There, they learned about choreography. Lacey Schwimmer told Brandon Smith that every move had to mean something. Each move must be performed with intent and tell part of the story the routine was trying to convey to the audience.

Although the skating pair seemed to gain ground from the Dancing with the Stars duo, unfortunately illness prevented Brandon Smith from competing live Monday evening. His partner, Keauna McLaughlin was in costume and ready to perform in case he appeared at the last minute, but he did not. Instead, ABC ran a video of the pair’s last rehearsal, shot on Sunday.

If you are in Las Vegas on Dec. 10th, be sure to check out Karina Smirnoff as she is planning to join the Chippendales and host “Ultimate Girl’s Night Out”. Here is take from Vegas News. Check the link for ticket information and more if interested.

On Friday, December 10, the Men of Chippendales – the global icon in women’s entertainment – will be joined by Karina Smirnoff of Dancing with the Stars, as she celebrates her new engagement with girlfriends and also hosts The Ultimate Girls Night Out!.

Karina will join the Chippendales onstage as part of the show’s ongoing celebrity guest host series which has recently featured The Bachelor winner Vienna Girardi and model/actress Estella Warren. In addition, Karina will be escorted on the red carpet by the iconic men who have recently been voted the Best of Las Vegas 2010 – Best Male Revue by both editors and readers of the Las Vegas Review Journal. A fan and media favorite of the hit ABC television show, Karina will be joined by a group of girlfriends, all coming to Las Vegas to celebrate her recent engagement to Major League baseball pitcher, Brad Penny, at Chippendales.

Movieline has rated their Top 10 Reality Shows for 2010. They’ve put “Dancing With The Stas” at #10. Here’s why…

10. Dancing with the StarsTV’s schmaltziest hour of dance and pseudo-fame is usually worth a couple episodes of actual entertainment, but this year, Bristol Palin’s relentless survival turned the show into a musical remake of Network. Fans rioted, ratings boomed, dignity died, and viewer outrage felt as flammable as one of Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s leisure suits. Though Jennifer Grey won the season, it was Bristol Palin’s weak hoofing and dictatorial reign that made for violently good TV.

I promised….I am not going to say a word. 😮 lol

Lastly, here is Chelsey and Kym on Access Hollywood doing a promo for their “Dancing” workout DVDs. Margaret Cho joins them as well.

Ok Kids, that is all for now. Though if you haven’t done so yet, don’t forget to VOTE in our “End of The Season Awards” >>>>>HERE!! Also, a reminder to VOTE in the “People’s Choice Awards” as well if you want to see the show and your favorite dancers win an award(s) this year >>>>HERE!!

Bailar el tango!!!xxx

December 8, 2010 I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and my other interests, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

DWTS 11, Week 4 – Who’s Dancing What…and When?

Your Dances for the week are Argentine Tango and Rumba! And I imagine it will be a very telling week, for some. As for the dance order, I’ll add it when/if I find it. 🙂

Brandy and Maks – Rumba

Jennifer and Derek – Argentine Tango

Audrina and Tony – Argentine Tango

Kurt and Anna – Rumba; Dancing FIRST

Sitch and Karina – Argentine Tango

Florence and Corky – Rumba

Rick and Cheryl – Argentine Tango

Bristol and Mark – Rumba

Kyle and Lacey – Rumba

As Vogue mentioned earlier, it’s double score week (in addition to Acoustic in the Round night – anything else, producers??) – this could be the kiss of death for someone. There are some scores that popularity and votes will not overcome. Here’s a sketch of how the Ballroom is supposed to look – someone tweeted it to me so I can’t give you a source.

Tom tweeted a pic of the actual stage. Looks kinda cool.

ETA: Chelsie and Dmitry and dancing Rumba tonight as well.

Well, I think that Kyle and Bristol are going to have issues with the Rumba due to youth and a lack of real technique. This is not a dance were Kyle can use his goofy personality to get ahead. Bristol? Well, her novelty may be wearing off. We will see. But by having the double score, it will be the double death for both of them – but maybe more so for Kyle. He won’t able to shine personality-wise (unless miracles happen) and he’s not had great technique so far. As for Bristol, well, she may fare better in technique, but the rumba is going to require more than she may possess in terms of performance.

Florence – don’t really want to watch that particular rumba but I will do it for you guys. 🙂 She will probably do well performance-wise, but I imagine the technique will suffer. It’s a hard dance and she’s not a young woman.

In terms of Rumba, that leaves it between Brandy and Kurt – Brandy SHOULD have the edge and win the rumba group easily. But…well, I’ve been calling Brandy a winner all season to this point and I have yet to be proven right. Her Samba was an improvement over her previous 2 dances, but the rumba? I can’t wait to watch, for sure. As for Kurt – well, my mother and 2 sisters are in town visiting and they have all fallen in love with Kurt. In their eyes, he wins. 🙂 I imagine Brandy will win the night over all, for Rumba.

The Argentine Tango group could be much more competitive, with Jennifer, Rick and Audrina all going head to head. Frankly, I think it’s going to come down to Jennifer and Rick. Jennifer has shown that she’s got what it takes MOST of the time and Rick has Cheryl, who is recently trained in Buenos Aires in Argentine Tango and will be touring with Forever Tango once the show is over for the season. She has a leg up on the competition. Of course, the Pro’s superb skills don’t always translate to the celeb, but I think they have a serious shot. As for Audrina – well, this is where the rubber meets the road for her. She has to be obviously passionate and SHARP. She certainly has potential, but if she doesn’t bring the passion, look out. I think Jennifer will do well both in technique and performance, but I’m really not sure in terms of Rick and Audrina. I can’t wait to find out.

As for the Sitch – well, that boy is just in a league all his own. I love watching him. I enjoy him. But….well, you know. 🙂 Double score, performance and technique? The Sitch could be dead after this dance, figuratively speaking.

October 10, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Dancing With The Stars 11, Week 3 – Blogger Alert

Mark Ballas, Brandy, and Margaret Cho all  blogged about their dances this week. Here’s just a couple of snippets. Be sure to click the source link below each to read more in detail from them.

From Brandy;

When we were told that we had to come up with a storyline for this week’s dance, we knew immediately that “The Bodyguard” was perfect for us. With all the different rumblings out there, no one knows how much Maks and I really do get along, and just how much we have in common. Once we decided on our theme, he came up with the amazing choreography that would incorporate both emotion and sensuality with the dance movements and intricate steps. It may have seemed a bit clichéd, but I believe that “The Bodyguard” movie — when it came out — struck a universal chord in everyone and that’s why it was such a big hit. Haven’t YOU ever loved someone who loved you back but the timing was just off and you couldn’t be together? This theme was perfect for me, as I know that I have definitely been in that position. For those of you wondering about Maks, you’ll have to ask him yourself J. Once we began to practice, things slipped into place and even though my ankle was bothering me, I was so into the dance Monday night that I hardly felt anything except happiness. By the end of our routine, I knew that I had given it my all and nailed it! As far as I’m concerned, the judges scoring of triple 8’s were great and the compliment that I was definitely ‘back on track’ just filled my heart with joy.

Much more HERE!!

From Mark Ballas;

What a nerve-shattering night! It really sucked to be saved last tonight. But then I remembered I won the string duel and it made everything better. Seriously though, I thought the judges were a little low on our score based on other dances from Monday and our overall progression from the previous weeks. But everything happens for a reason and Bristol is extremely motivated for this week’s dance, which is the Rumba.

Bristol’s not a dancer, but she really is a natural as she picks up the new dance steps rather quickly. We’re working on her facial expressions and selling the dance with her whole body, just like (judge) Bruno (Tonioli ) was advising.

We’re going to work harder than ever to prove that we’re contenders. I’m sure no other team will have seven hours of rehearsal in by noon on Wednesday! We certainly were the only team working tonight.

After we met with the press after Tuesday’s results show, we grabbed a bite to eat and immediately started the choreography. Bristol’s traveling to Fargo, N.D., Wednesday afternoon, so it was important that we started right away to get the base of the routine down.

And last but not least, from Margaret Cho;

So it’s almost over! Today we go to NYC to dance on The View tomorrow. I had such a great time on Dancing with the Stars and I thank everyone for voting for us. It means a lot.

It’s going to be weird not to dance, but I want to keep up my physical fitness. I feel like I’ve gotten a great start on a new healthy life and I want to stay active. This has always been an issue for me because I am just not used to moving, but now that I am already in motion, it’s going to be easier to stay in motion. I learned so much through this journey and I am so glad that I got the opportunity. And it isn’t like I am going to get any time off to relax, as I am going right back out on tour this week! What I want first of all though is a pedicure. My feet are so hard and calloused – they are straight up Fred Flintstone. I could start a car with them. Yababdabba doo!

Source

October 7, 2010 I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and my other interests, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

DWTS 11, Week 3 – Cheesecake Awards!!

Let them eat CAKE!!  Hope you all enjoy.  Personally, I feel like I didn’t drink enough booze before writing my parts. 🙂

Most Disappointing Chickening Out – Derek Hough, for wussing on the “wild” hair.

Heidi: I was so looking forward to a Billy Idol look because of all the pre-show speculation and Derek’s comment. Then he had to go and make it all ‘normal schoolboy’ looking.

Courtney: Maybe schoolboy hair is wacky to him, hehe. He’s already done the greaser hair that Tom likened to a bird sanctuary, and the faux-hawk…at this point, normal hair almost seems wackier on him. 😛

Biggest Cheesy Sap Award -Princess Heidi

Heidi: WHAT?? Edelweiss makes me misty EVERY time!! What of it??

Courtney: Dude, that song puts me to sleep.  And the actual flower edelweiss makes me sneeze like the dickens. Just take a Midol or something  😉

Heidi: Wine. I need wine.  Wait…that was the problem on Monday. 🙂

Cheesiest Choreographic Move of the Night – Anna Trebunskaya, for making Kurt Warner skip; (dis)honorable mention for Lacey’s bizarre windmill movement during her & Kyle’s waltz

Heidi: OMG – how much did I love Kurt in a tiara with his little girls. But Anna, big men don’t (or shouldn’t) skip. I know what you were going for, but he didn’t pull it off. I still love him though.

Courtney: I actually really liked the skipping 😛 Kurt’s just a big teddy bear to me! But that windmill step that went on FOREVER in Kyle & Lacey’s waltz? UGH.  One was plenty – Lacey did at least a bajillion.

Heidi: I forgot about that bizarre move. It might have been cooler if they had pulled it off.

Award for Choreography Creating the Highest Degree of Cognitive Dissonance – Louis Van Amstel

Heidi: All that talk pre-show about how emotional your story was, how good it made you feel, how it was about a girl who was overweight in high school but then became a successful showgirl – what the hell happened??  NONE of that came through in the actual dance. I kept waiting for some message. But the only thing was a big smile and rainbow fringe – which really only says I happily support gay people. That is fantastic – but it’s not what you said the dance was going to be about, and it’s not really a “story”. Color me confused – in every color of the rainbow.

Courtney: Sorry, but I could get barely get past the costumes – just gadawful.  She looked like giant parrot, and Louis brought to mind Rainbow Brite – if Rainbow Brite was a petite gay man who could dance his ass off.  Any smidgen of a story that there could have been was overshadowed by the blinding rainbow of pride we were visually assaulted with – and while I’m totally cool with them showing off their pride, I was kinda hoping they’d at least TRY to convey a story at the same time…which they didn’t.  Although I’m a bit unsure of just HOW they’d convey the story they were planning to…maybe have some kids off to the side heckling Margaret at the beginning of the dance, and then Margaret doffs her plain-looking attire to reveal her fabulous showgirl attire and begins a show-stopping rendition of “Copacabana” while those same hecklers look on in awe? And somehow Louis fits into the picture? I know, I know…I’m reaching.  The conclusion – while the message they were trying to convey was admirable, they probably should’ve gone with something that was easier to show.

Tom Bergeron Line ‘O Performance Night: – Mentioning “Stockholm Syndrome” in regard to Maks and Brandy; Honorable Mention for – “Audrina, Tony and the smoke monster from Lost”; “Len ‘Spanky’ Goodman”; and “It’s like high noon with spandex!”

Heidi: Bwahaha – he drops in these little, hysterical asides that often make me wonder how many people catch them. And if they catch them, do they get them?? I love me some smart Bergeron.  Seriously – that Stockholm Syndrome line was pure fucking genius.

Courtney: Tom was full of cerebral one-liners this week – and more often than not, I’m pretty sure they just come off the top of his head, which is even more impressive.  Less Brooke – more Tom 😉

Award for Couple Most Hosed by Producers – The Situation and Karina

Heidi: Black Eyed Peas for a FOXTROT??? Are you kidding me? I’m speechless. Karina looked amazing, and considering the music The Sitch didn’t do too bad – I was entertained. But I sure don’t blame him for not getting it.

Courtney: I gotta give these two MAJOR props this week – easily the worst song choice of the week, yet they somehow made it work and actually gave a performance that was oddly entertaining and memorable.  Add to that the fact that The Situation is still pretty hopeless – the fact that they got a halfway decent score (let alone the encore for the week!) is miraculous.  I almost wonder if the powers that be were sitting around thinking about who they wanted for the encore this week and said “Well the obvious choice would be Tony & Audrina, but since the results show is jam-packed with filler tonight, we may not have time to clear the smoke monster out before the next act.  Awww hell, we kinda screwed Sitch & Karina, and their set is easier to tear down…let’s go with them!”

Award for Most Shameful Cluelessness – Lacey Schwimmer, for not knowing the Eagles

Heidi: Who are the Eagles??? The EAGLES??? Lacey, you have NO fucking business “recording” a song. And your age is no excuse. If you are recording music, one would think you are passionate about music. If one were truly passionate about music, they would not be clueless on The Eagles!!

Courtney: I literally slapped my forehead and winced when those words passed her lips.  And Lacey isn’t really recording music…she’s just singing along karaoke style, and then they’re auto-tuning the hell out of it in post-production 😉 I’m sorry, but “Red Cup” is just AWFUL.

Heidi: :::snerk:::  I originally had a crack in there about auto tune but then I took it out.  I called you my equally evil twin last week. It seems I was correct. 🙂

Courtney: Indeed, m’dear! Muahahahaha 😉

The Cheesily Cute Couple of the Week Award – Rick Fox and Cheryl Burk for their package and mistakenly thinking they were safe when they weren’t.

Heidi: The two them were just totally cute when Cheryl responded to Rick with… “No, just trust” – I totally had a Yoda moment! “Trust me you must, young Jedi.” And then when the two of them realized they weren’t safe last night their response was just adorable. “Uhhh, shucks. Oops.”  Hilarious.

Courtney: I’m beginning to think that Rick is not only the “pretty” guy in this competition…but also a bit vacant.  I think when he’s at a loss for words, he just flashes those pearly whites and all is right in the world.  I am ok with this 😉

Heidi: Yeah, I really don’t see a problem with that at all. It’s better than Maks’ way of handling it which is getting a shovel and digging a big fucking hole (stay tuned for video of Maks saying shit that pisses me OFF – if Vogue doesn’t post it, I will. I advised her to do it because she would be NICER about it than I will be. 🙂 )

Award for Most Passionate Pro (aka The Most “Wooden” Pro Award) – Derek Hough, for being entirely too involved in, and enjoying, his childhood fantasy of the hot teacher. (See above-do I need to draw you a map?)

Heidi: Humina, Humina…that’s all I got. Cigarette?

Courtney: I don’t know what you’re looking at, m’dear, but I must say I’m impressed with how HARD the choreography in that samba was.  He’s clearly a FIRM believer in challenging his partner.  And props to Jennifer for maintaining the perfect dance frame, not too STIFF, but also not all limp & flaccid. No one likes a flaccid frame 😉 And the stamina of these two! They kept it up through quite a LONG routine…ok, should I stop now? 😉

Heidi: You said flaccid. That, m’dear, is a four-letter word, in this house. 😉

Brooke Burke Flub O’ the Week: Telling Kurt & Anna they had the highest score so far…when they actually got a point less than Jennifer & Derek

Courtney: Not sure if the lines she was being fed from the control booth got garbled, or her math was just off, but yah, Brooke…23 is less than 24. The best part is not actually Brooke, Kurt, or Anna’s reaction…if you watch Maks in the background, he gets a funny look on his face like “Wait a minute…that’s not right…” that is just priceless.

Heidi: Oh, now I’m going to have to watch it again cause I missed Maks’ reaction. Great. Garbled isn’t contagious through the TV is it??

Most Bizarre Prop: The picture of Tony in the Marine uniform

Courtney: I’m probably going to get hosed for this, but at first blush, I could have sworn I was looking at a picture of Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds. It was just a rather bizarre picture, and the “this picture was just taken backstage 10 minutes ago!” quality of it just made me chuckle.

Heidi: Courtney, you were supposed to be tearing up at the thought of this poor ceiling eyes…I mean, girl losing her husband and not being able to dance with him anymore. You mean to tell me that the smoke monster didn’t inspire sobs and hand wringing?? Heh. Me either.

Cheesiest Line O’ the Week: Mark Ballas & Val Chmerkovskiy’s exchange of “String it!” and “It’s already been strung!”

Courtney: Ugh…I’m not sure whether to blame the producers for that eyeroll-worthy exchange, or whether they came up with it themselves…but the subtle homage to Bring it On just made me cringe.  Just get on with it, already!

Heidi: The melodrama over all was just making me cackle unattractively. I really, really hope that was all tongue in cheek cheesy but a part of me (yes a very evil part) fears that that was Mark’s “I’m acting dramatic” face.

Kiss of Death Award: The uncomfortably long kiss at the end of Flo & Corky’s waltz; (dis)honorable mention for the replay of Donny & Bruno’s kiss during Donny’s street bit

Courtney: I was reduced to an uncomfortable 12-year-old watching a movie with a love scene when I had to witness that smooch – I literally averted my eyes and went “GROSS!!!” No likey…no likey one bit! And then they just HAD to go and replay the video of Donny dipping Bruno over the judges table and laying one on him.  Good grief, a year later that gag is still haunting me!

Heidi: For some reason, I had far less problem with the Donny-Bruno kiss than I did with Florky’s.  Ick pooh.  I believe my exact words were “GACK GACK!!” Which, you might realize, aren’t actual words but inarticulate noises.

Innuendo of the Week: Rick Fox referring to a wardrobe malfunction “at home” 😉

Courtney: I think this may have gone over Brooke’s head, because she just kinda chuckled, but good ol’ Tom definitely raised an eyebrow and got a mischievous look in his eye.  Looks like Cheryl’s little impromptu clothing removal on Rick may have gotten him some action later that evening 😉 MEOW!

Heidi: At least he waited till he got home. I’m lookin’ at you, Derek Hough.  (pssst…feel free to GET UP to that sort of mischief every week, would ya? 😉 )

Courtney: Damn…nothing like a premature wardrobe malfunction to ruin one’s evening 😉

October 6, 2010 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Dancing with the Stars 11 – How Much Does Costuming Effect Votes?

Well, for those that don’t know me well, I am fashion freak. So, watch out for many blogs in the future on Dancing with the Stars and their amazing or sometimes “too gawdy” costuming. lol  As some of you may know, the show’s Emmy-winning costumer is Randall Christensen. Last week, The Stylist asks him how he got inspired to come up with Florence Henderson’a ball gown. He writes;

 “What a sophisticated, glamorous — and yet sexy — look for our Queen Mom. Our inspiration came from various silhouettes of some of Hollywood’s most famous and glamorous stars: Cyd Charisse and Audrey Hepburn. And when Florence struck that opening pose, slit skirt peeled open… Need I say more? She took my breath away!”

You can read more on how he was inspired with Audrina’s, The Situation, and Jennifer’s costumes for week two HERE.

Then this week, Sir Christensen is asked on how he came up with…you might have guessed it…. “Margaret Cho’s flamboyant gay pride rainbow dress”. He says;

“Sparkle was everywhere. We were still putting it on moments before we went live on the East Coast.”

and

The look’s intended message was tolerance and acceptance. “I hope everyone understood that being happy and being who you are are the two most important elements of a beautiful life,” says Christensen. “How fun to have Margaret embrace the joy of dancing and express it through her costumes.”

In my opinion, Margaret and Louis’s costuming was a little too much. Especially the yellow head dress. I think it set off the voters some since many fans of the show didn’t understand the storyline (remember a lot of people out there don’t have Twitter or Facebook. They are only voting for what they see on TV). In fact, many times, I’ve wondered how much votes are effected by bad costuming? Any thoughts on that?

You can read more on how Randall Christiansen was inspired HERE for week three. There is also some good reading on how he was inspired for the other dances and dancers.

With that all said, feel free to tell which costumes you liked the most this week and which you liked the least.

I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and my other interests, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

Margaret Cho and Louis Talk More on their Samba Today

Heidi Note: Vogue wrote this before the results show aired and as a result it doesn’t doesn’t reflect real time in terms of what happened on the show.

Today Margaret wrote a new blog which you can read below. Also Louis was out trying to clean up and explain as well at his Twitter and his Facebook page this afternoon where he wrote:

“Last night our storyline was NOT explained at all.It was Margaret’s personal story of discrimination 4 being overweight many years ago.She ended up in the hospital 4 anorexia n almost killed herself.We used the lyrics of Copacabana.Now Lola is a show girl n celebrates her new found confidence n inner beauty.A celebration of ending ANY discrimination.”

 He continues on with;

The reason for the rainbow colors was simply to celebrate and demonstrate it doesn’t matter what race,color,size,sexuality,religion, or gender u r,we all have the right to express n be treated w dignity.After all, 7 billion people live on this planet, ALL under the same rainbow!Let’s celebrate that fact…..

And then again with;

Since i didn’t have any opportunity to say anything ‘live’ last night i wanna give a shoot out to all families who lost their kids who committed suicide due to bullying.Our hearts go out to all of u.It’s horrible what’s going on w bullying.All the bullying!That was supposed to b our message last night, but it became very one sided n labeled.That’s not who i am n don’t believe how a better world is created.

Louis, your heart was in the right place for this idea. It was heart felt and magnificent. But, America only got the dance “after” you explained in my opinion. Otherwise what most of us saw were only colorful costumes. But, I applaud you and Margaret for your efforts and moving message anyway this week and I hope it helps all the victims out there who suffer from ignorance and hatefulness in our society …especially those who are pushed over the edge. If anything be proud of this dance if the two of you go home tonight for all of those reasons.

Here is Margaret’s new blog;

The Samba
by Margaret Cho
I am proud of our performance on Dancing with the Stars. We danced our collective ass off, represented the community with a fabulous rainbow flag and got a really important message of pride and self esteem across in a very exuberant way. Watching the show back, I actually didn’t notice he mistakes that I made! Perhaps I had learned it wrong to begin with! That might be it. I am not as hard on myself and am enjoying the process more, relaxing into it. Maybe that isn’t the way to go, but I want to have fun and not take it so seriously. Trying to do everything, both dancing and touring is very tough, and I’m so tired beyond anything I have ever experienced before. I felt great when the night was through. My feeling is dancing is a wonderful thing, but if you have a moment where you can tell the world something, something so vitally important that it is bursting out of your heart, you have to. I wanted to call an end to the gay teen suicides. I wanted to reach out to their families, prevent it from ever happening again. We will never heal from this loss, but we can protect our children from now on, strengthening them with messages of pride, loving them as hard as we can, making sure they are strong and happy with themselves and can face anything. I made my moment in the spotlight all about that, and that’s the best dance of all.

October 5, 2010 I Written By

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" ~ Martha Graham. That's what DWTS makes me think of every Monday night. To read more about me and my other interests, see Lisa Kay Photography. You can also follow me at Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud.

SPOILERS!!! DWTS Season 11, Week 3 – The Results

I had forgotten that I typically did a “who got eliminated and how did the bloggers do in their predictions” post after every results show. So busy!! But now that we have Vogue picking up some of my duties (Thank you baby Jesus), I may have more time to remember stuff. 🙂

Anyway, as many of you know, Margaret and Louis left us tonight. How did we bloggers do??

Heidi (me): Predicted Margaret and Louis (I finally picked one right!!)

Courtney: Predicted Florence and Corky

Marianya….did you make a prediction Marianya?? I don’t think you did. But you took the hard road in predicting the scores. 🙂

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

DWTS 11, Week 3 – Media Bits

I had to post this because I just found it way too funny, and probably accurate. TV Guide has an article about backstage this season. Here is an excerpt (bolding mine):

What? The Situation sticking to the dancing drill and keeping his shirt on? “I was never a good dancer,” he says after his fox trot Monday night, which earned a respectable 20 points. “So not only was it a privilege for me to learn from a professional like Karina (Smirnoff), but I also wanted to show America that I am well-rounded, that I am intelligent, that I am generous and sweet to people.”

He’s not particularly sweet to women on Jersey Shore. “It’s all done with humor, and meant to be entertaining, not harmful,” says Sorrentino. “I do have a mother and a sister. I love my mother. I love my sister. What you see on Dancing With the Stars is the real person. I’m putting in the work. And people are starting to say, ‘Hey, we’re rooting for you. You’re the underdog and you’re awesome. You’re a nice kid, contrary to what we’ve seen on that MTV show.'”

So, no fireworks. Dancing’s producers must want to kill him.

I give a “bwahaha” to Lisa De Moraes from the Washington Post:

It’s “Every Dance Must Tell a Story” week on “Dancing with the Stars.” The bar was set very high last season when Kate Gosselin gave a tour de force performance as Boris Karloff, in character as Frankenstein, dancing to the Lady Gaga tune “Paparazzi.” Can any of this season’s celebrities hope to top that?

and I give her another “bwahaha” to her for this (I think Derek was thinking about “waxing the floor” too):

This season’s front-runner Jennifer Grey and partner Derek Hough kick things off with a samba. The story: An English schoolboy in a school where the teachers are cross-dressing flamenco dancers falls asleep at his desk and dreams that he must wax the floor with his teacher. The judges, Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, and Bruno Tonioli, love it but feel compelled to note they got tangled up in each other once or twice. Even so, all three award her 8 points for a total or 24 points out of a possible 30. This week, unlike last, 24 is a fine score.

OMG – the whole article is full of gems. Read it. 🙂

Comic Margaret Cho and partner Louis Van Amstel do a samba. The story: A man pursues a slow-moving, brightly colored piñata around a party, but it proves hard to pop despite his efforts to forcefully squeeze and drag it.

Abstinence advocate Bristol Palin and partner Mark Ballas do a foxtrot. But first, in a taped bit, Bristol makes her pitch for abstinence as we see her addressing an audience on the road, and all of America – at least all of us watching “Dancing with the Stars” – get to hear her best argument: You can’t get pregnant. The story: A talented but homeless dancer living in a packing crate is lifted up to high social status by a well-dressed woman but in a tragic twist she turns out to be easy to tip over, and he must give up dancing for very careful, slow paced walking.

Disney star Kyle Massey and partner Lacey Schwimmer do a waltz. The story: A man in a Hooters restaurant feels an instant attraction to a waitress and expresses his love by wheeling her around the place, and she reciprocates with a surprising wind-milling gesture. Because cute goes a long way, the judges bestow 23 points on them.

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

Dancing with the Stars 11, Week 3 – Dancing by the Numbers

I’m going to complain right off the bat. Was I hearing things or did Tom say “Accoustic Night” and “TV night”….and how many more freakin’ theme nights are we going to have? Just Dance, damn it.

Okay, with that out of the way I will say that for the most part, I enjoyed Story night. There are a few people I’m getting tired of and a few I really genuinely like, although I don’t think they’re good dancers. But let’s talk about numbers. As regular readers know, every week I figure out what it will take for someone to stay and how big the risk is for others.

Here’s how it works: The judges give everyone a score. All the scores handed out are added up to a total. That total is then divided into an individual couples score to determine their percentage of the judges scores. The voting goes the same way. Total number of votes cast is added up and divided into the votes for a given couple to determine their percentage of the vote. The two percentages are added together. The couple with the lowest combined total goes home. Of course, this makes the judges scores misleading. You might think someone who has 2 judges points more than another person makes them safe – but no. When there are a large number of couples, and a pretty decent range of scores, it’s easier to narrow down who goes home because the math does work in the first place couples favor. Frighteningly enough, the scores are getting closer (although in many cases they shouldn’t be). But there is still enough disparity to narrow it down to a few “in danger” couples. So, what are those percentages?

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Audrina 26 11.76
2. Jennifer 24 10.86
3. Brandy 24 10.86
4. Rick 24 10.86
5. Kyle 23 10.41
6. Kurt 23 10.41
7. The Sitch 20 9.05
8. Florence 20 9.05
9. Bristol 19 8.6
10. Margaret 18 8.14

Last week, we saw Jennifer under scored by 2 points, IMO. Well, this week I think she gets the correct score, but Audrina is OVER scored by 2 points. Beautiful dance from Audrina, and a charming dance from Jennifer, but there is no way that Audrina was 2 points better. Nope, not even with a boo boo from Jennifer.

I would also knock a point off Brandy for having wimpy arms, and a couple points off Kyle for having NO footwork at all. Not to mention the frat boy humor is starting to wear very thin. Yer wearing me out, Kyle – tone it down and try dancing. The request for a new song doesn’t bother me – what bothers me is that the pros can’t pick their own music to begin with, so if they want to demand a new song, go for it. If people could pick their own music, we wouldn’t have gotten the bizarre dance from The Sitch – but then again we also wouldn’t have gotten that brilliant 50’s Paso out of Derek last season. So I guess there are pros and cons. 🙂

Anyway, despite my gripes with the scores, they are what they are and we have to live with them. Or die with them, as the case may be. 🙂 This week, it’s a four way race for last place between Marge, Bristol, The Sitch and Florence. Who will go home? I’m betting Margaret, but I’ve been wrong before and I’ll be wrong again.

Here’s what it takes for Margaret to STAY on the show:
Marge needs approximately 4,550 more votes per 1 million votes cast to pass Bristol
OR
Marge needs approximately 9,100 more votes per 1 million votes cast to pass either Sitch OR Florence

What are the odds of any of these scenarios happening? I don’t see her getting the votes to beat Bristol or The Situation, but I could see her getting the votes to beat Florence. Remember, she only has to get that many more votes than ONE of them in order to stay on the show.

What would it take for a “shocking” elimination?? In this case I think it would be shocking for any of those with a score of 24 or higher to get sent packing. Is this a possibility? Well, it’s always possible. Kyle and Audrina started this thing with two of the smallest fanbases, but their dancing is either good (Audrina) or they have personality out the wazoo (Kyle). Here’s what it would take, numbers-wise for Audrina and Kyle to be in danger – not only would every single other contestant have to get the requisite votes to close the gap created by Audrina’s higher score, but Marge would have to get 36,200 more votes than her per 1 million votes cast. No way in hell. Sorry Marge.

Kyle, with a score of 23 – if all the contestants below him in score close the gap with more votes AND Marge gets 22,625 more votes than him per 1 million votes cast, he would go home. Again, no way in hell. Just increase the number of more votes per 1 million votes cast to 27,165 and you have what it would take for Marge to beat either Jennifer, Rick or Brandy – and I honestly don’t see it happening for them because it would also mean that everyone else below them in score got enough votes to close the gap and then some. Nope.

What does all this mean? Well, since we don’t know how the actual voting is going, and we can only go off anecdotal evidence it’s all really playing the odds using numbers. What are the odds that Margaret can get the required number of votes to close the gap and surpass any of the others she’s competing against? I keep coming back to Florence as the only one that she has a real shot of beating.

So who’s it going to be? Margaret or Florence?? Or are my odds way off on someone else and how they are doing vote-wise? Could the Situation have worn out his welcome?? Is Bristol’s conservative backing weaker than I think?

I’m going to say Margaret will be leaving us. We will see. 🙂

I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)