DWTS13 Search Engine Round-Up – Week of 9-2-11

 Yes kids, the SERU is back after about a 2 month absence 😀 Why, you ask? Because there simply wasn’t enough traffic to the site prior to now to generate enough truly interesting search terms…but now I’ve got search terms aplenty to entertain you with 😉 ONWARD!!!

Melissa Gilbert divorce

She may not have actually been cast on DWTS this season, but you guys are still curious about her 🙂 Anywho! Melissa officially filed for divorce from her husband Bruce Boxleitner (the guy who played Tron in the original Tron), on August 22, after 16 years of marriage.  They had been separated since March of this year.  What’s funny to me is the story of how they met – apparently they were introduced by Bruce’s ex-wife, only weeks after Melissa’s divorce from her first husband was finalized.  Allegedly Melissa had met Bruce when she was a teenager and confessed to having a picture of him in her locker, but he ignored her at the time, since she was much younger than he was; after being reintroduced, they started dating on and off, got engaged twice (but he broke it off both times – red flag, maybe?) before finally marrying in 1995.  Their son, Michael Garrett Boxleitner, is named after Michael Landon, who played Melissa’s father on Little House on the Prairie.

How tall is Chaz Bono?/Peta Murgatroyd height

Chaz is not only the shortest male celeb this season, but the shortest of all the celebs & pros this season – he’s 5’1″.  As for Peta, someone tweeted her and asked how tall she was, and Peta responded with 5’7″.  Straight from the horse’s mouth, kids 🙂 And if you want to know any of the other celebs’ or pros’ heights, check out Heidi’s “Who’s Dancing with Whom?” post.

Lacey Schwimmer boob job/plastic surgery

So apparently Lacey got her boobs done, and possibly her lips too.  Big whoop.  As I’ve said in the past, I’m not the type to hate on anyone for wanting to improve their physical appearance and/or self-confidence – in moderation. 🙂 I know plenty of ladies in the dance world that have gotten some help in the bosom department, either to make their costumes fit a bit better or to combat some fat loss in that area from being such an athlete.  If it puts a bit more spring in Lacey’s step to have some bigger tatas – good for her, IMO 🙂 And although I thought she had some pretty full lips to begin with, if she got those done too – fine by me, as long as it makes her happy.  I’m probably more apt to bitch about that OTT blonde hair of hers than any sort of surgical enhancements she’s had done – I just thought she was stunning as a brunette! Only one word of caution to her, though – take it easy on the push-up bras.  I find that when one has both implants and one of those puppies on, the effect can be a bit…alien.  And torture chamber-ish. 

Derek Hough girlfriend

Ugh…this is one can of worms I do not feel like opening up.  Go over to PureDerekHough and discuss this one with the regulars.  Long story short: he may or may not have rekindled things with Cheryl Cole (“She of the Nasty Weave” for those who follow me on Twitter ;-)). 

Why isn’t Chelsie Hightower on DWTS?

Well, since I am not privy to the complex inner workings of the minds of TPTB, I can’t give you an official answer on this one – but my best guess is that they simply didn’t have a suitable partner for her this season.  No underhanded dealings, no discrimination or conspiracy to get rid of her permanently – they just ended up with a crop of male celebs this season that were either too tall (pretty much all of the men, with the exception of Chaz) or were better matched with other pros (Chaz – I can’t imagine a more perfect partner for him than Lacey).  C’est la vie – same thing has happened to Anna, Louis, & Dmitry in past seasons, and they’ve all come back after sitting out a season or 2.  In the meantime, it seems like Chelsie is keeping busy with other projects, so she’s certainly not sitting around weeping and sulking about not being on the show this season – and who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and catch a glimpse of her in one of the pro dances this season.  Still suffering from Chelsie withdrawal? Check out our ode to her in the most recent edition of Who Wore it Better? 🙂

Dirty picture

Of what? This is a rather broad term 😛 Or, are you looking for the Taio Cruz song featuring Ke$ha?

“Behind Derek’s Car”

This one made me LOL a bit,  because the searched term was actually in quotes as if it were the title of a scary movie or something.  Sounds so ominous 😛 Now while the logical side of my brain says that the people searching this were likely trying to figure out which celeb parked behind Derek’s car at the rehearsal studio (because the couples tend to do that), the smartass side of my brain says “Behind Derek’s car…there is likely exhaust.” 😀

Nicole Volynets rumors

I’m assuming this refers to the fact that Nicole will not be returning to the troupe this season – and just like the rumors about Chelsie’s absence this season, there’s been all sorts of speculation as to why.  Again, I cannot give you an official answer, but I have 2 theories.  One, they’re looking to keep the troupe “younger” – which makes sense to me, if they’re planning on pulling future pros from it.  Ted is only 21, Oksana is 22, and Kiki is only 19 or 20 – they still have a few years to cultivate their talent before possibly being promoted to a full-time pro.  Peta & Tristan are both a bit older – I think they’re both in their mid-to-late 20’s, and I believe Nicole is 23 or 24.  I guess if I were TPTB and I wasn’t planning on promoting someone to full-time pro anytime soon, I think it would be kinder to cut them loose now than to keep them hanging on in vain for a few more seasons in the troupe.  It may seem cruel, but it’s just the nature of the business.  Another theory that seems to be getting kicked around on Twitter is that Nicole & Ted didn’t like having to do romantic dances together since they’re siblings – which I can understand, it’s definitely awkward.  But at the same time, sometimes you just have to be willing to bite the bullet and do things you don’t necessarily want to in order to please your employer – Derek always mentions that he’s had to rumba with Julianne in the past *squirm*.  I guess if Ted & Nicole gave the higher-ups the ultimatum that they would only come back if they didn’t have to dance together, I can’t blame TPTB for saying “Well, we can’t guarantee that you won’t have to…unless one of you doesn’t come back.” Regardless of the reason why, I am not worried about Nicole’s future – she seems like she’s already got some great opportunities in the works. 

максим чмерковский

Erm…I can’t read Cyrillic, and right now I can’t be bothered to try and feed this one through Google Translate.  But I’m guessing it reads “Maksim Chmerkovskiy”…and, uh, yep…he’s on the show this season.  That’s all I got. 😛