This is a new series that I decided to write in order to reduce my exasperation that comes from reading “DWTS” and “Dancing with the Stars” twitter searches every day. Partly based in annoyance and partly based in sympathy…I just need to vent a bit. And maybe save some people some time.
What do I mean, you ask? Well, the title pretty much says it all. Everyday I see comments, petitions, made up rumors and the like that are so totally implausible and so…not gonna happen…that it’s hard not to write to the posters and explain why they should save their breath and/or their time.
The number one idea that got me started down this road guaranteed to piss someone off is the Twitition going around to get Cory Monteith (Glee) on DWTS as a celebrity dancer. While I appreciate the passion that fans have for their favorite celebrities, don’t waste your time on this one kids. I like Cory as much as the next Gleek, but there are several reasons why you won’t see Cory on DWTS in the next few years. For one thing, he’s not insane. He’s riding a popularity wave right now, even though DWTS is much higher rated than Glee is in total viewers. The single most important reason why he won’t be on DWTS is that he’s not only on a hit TV show…he’s on a hit TV show ON ANOTHER NETWORK. Soap stars who aren’t on ABC can’t get on the show even when they desperately want to do the show…like Michelle Stafford from Y&R, who would look amazing with Derek. It’s not likely to happen even though she can be seen in the audience during the season and her soap tapes at the same studio. It’s never been publicized, but it’s a widely held belief backed up by years of anecdotal evidence that ABC will not cast stars of current shows from other networks on this show. The end.
All that said – I sure would love to see Heather Morris and Harry Shum busta move on a results show. Derek was hanging out with Mark Salling over New Years, maybe he can have another idea that includes those two and Mark can hook him up. Hey, I can dream too.
Speaking of petitions…there is one that Chelsie fans are spreading around trying to get her back on the show. Again – I really appreciate the desire, especially as a person who’s fav has sat out a season. You miss them. I get it. For this to work, you will need THOUSANDS of signatures, otherwise it is unlikely to make an impact. It’s simple math, really – the show is watched by 20 million people, on average. Anything less than 10 percent of that number is unlikely to have an impact. There is NO indication that the professional dancers have any impact on ratings by their presence OR absence. Don’t waste your precious time…besides, I think the odds are very good that she’ll be back if they find her a tiny guy to dance with. Sitting out one season is not necessarily a death nell. Lacey sat out a season against her will and she came back. Chelsie will be back too. But if anyone here is seriously worried that I’m wrong, do a search on twitter and sign the petition. It won’t hurt anything, for sure.
I saw one thing today that actually made me laugh out loud. Someone posed the question in a poll “Should Maks date Kirsti Alley??” Like it was a real possibility. Like we get to vote on it. Okay, so a youngster has shipper dreams. We’ve all been there. But Oh dear lord. First off….oh come on, that’s not going to happen!! Secondly – you all DO realize that we don’t actually have a say in who Maks and/or Kirsti dates, right?? I mean…NO SAY. The show needs to come back on again, and quick. The boredom is making some people act strangely. Or they just want a bunch of like-minded followers. Who can say?
My last bit of exasperation of the day is ABC’s fault, the twerps. We are now on the third consecutive season where ABC/DWTS encourages people to “cast the next season” of the show. The result is massive online campaigns to get a variety of stars on the show….including those who are on other networks, and we already discussed why this doesn’t work. This makes me say it in all caps: OH COME ON!!!! How many people who have had massive twitter campaigns for their favorites, encouraging people to “go vote” on the abc website have actually made it on to the show?? ZERO. If any one of those people get selected it will be pure blind luck…or someone they already desperately wanted anyway. Since no one has been chosen the past two seasons, why do people insist on wasting hours a day (clogging my twitter feed) begging people to go vote?? Do they work for ABC??
Granted, ABC never claims that it is an actual contest. It phrases it in much the same way that Vogue phrases her polls…asking what readers think. The big difference is, of course – we have no actual connection to the show (not to mention that we actually try to limit it to ONE vote). The very nature of the DWTS website lends the question some…plausibility. There are people who think they actually have a chance. All they really succeed in doing is giving a whole bunch of slow season hits to the website guaranteed to keep the ad revenue high. Which of course makes it genius, albeit extraordinarily annoying. Please quit clogging my twitter feeds with spam request to “vote for…” Please?
Until next time, sports fans!!