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PureDWTS Season 30 Pro Roster Revealed

First of all, please forgive me – like Heidi, I am having a very, VERY hard time getting excited about anything DWTS-related right now…especially in light of some of the names I’m hearing in the mix as rumors…zzzzz…

Anywho, ET announced the 15 pros that would be returning this season:

Brandon Armstrong

Lindsay Arnold

Alan Bersten

Sharna Burgess

Cheryl Burke

Witney Carson

Artem Chigvintsev

Val Chmerkovskiy

Sasha Farber

Jenna Johnson

Daniella Karagach

Pasha Pashkov

Gleb Savchenko

Emma Slater

Britt Stewart

 

Noticeably absent pros from last season’s roster? Peta, whose anti-vaxxer status likely disqualified her, as ABC/Disney is mandating vaccines for most employees; and Keo, who probably had the misfortune of being too tall for this season’s crop of male-partnered female celebs…at least I hope that’s the reason…

…back after a one-season absence are Lindsay & Witney, with bebes in tow; I think they likely owe their return to Peta’s refusal to get vaccinated and JoJo’s same-sex partnership opening up an additional slot for a female pro this season. Absent those circumstances, I tend to think TPTB would have just kept the same roster as last season for the sake of ease, as both Witney & Lindsay reside permanently in Utah and had to temporarily relocate back to LA to do the show this season.

Thoughts? I don’t have a ton, other than Sharna possibly being paired with JoJo for the simple reason that she strikes me as being one of the more open-minded pros that would embrace such a challenge. Like the situation with Chaz Bono 10 years ago (a season that Chelsie curiously sat out), I think TPTB would quietly avoid saddling one of the LDS girls with a potential conflict of interest; Cheryl would probably be open to it, but last I heard she was struggling with severe tendonitis and I get the impression that JoJo is going to be an energetic and talented partner that could go far. If anyone other than Brandon or Pasha gets Sunisa, I’m going to be irked, because by my count they’re the only two who haven’t gotten an Olympian yet AND they aren’t lazy and likely to phone this season in on lame choreo (looking at YOU, Gleb).

What do you guys think?

September 2, 2021 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

DWTS Juniors Pros Elliana Walmsley & Sage Rosen Spill “Tea” on the Show; Court Reacts

So a reader shot me a Twitter DM this morning, containing the link to a YouTube video and asking “Is all this true?” I thought it would be a casting rumor for the upcoming season, given the timing; you can imagine my surprise when I saw that it was a “tea spilling” video from two of the child pros from DWTS Juniors – the one-and-done season they did 3 whole years ago. I watched it; most of what was said wasn’t entirely new or groundbreaking (and I think we already spilled a lot of this same “tea” here 3 years ago), but I thought I’d go ahead and do a reaction post…hell, there ain’t much else going on right now. With the ‘rona still a-ragin’, it might be good for my psyche to flash back to a simpler time!

First thoughts: whoa. THAT’S little Elliana? She looks very…grown up. Or maybe teenagers just looked different when I was her age? We Millennials all went through an awkward teen phase where our makeup was terrible…Elliana’s generation seems to have skipped the white eyeliner, glitter face gel, and metallic lipstick phase…probably thanks to YouTube and beauty influencers. Sage looks the same…maybe a little more mature in the face.

Sooo…they’re “scared” of getting in trouble with the DWTS producers? Then why are you making this video, guys? For what its worth, I doubt the DWTS Juniors producers care…the show got cancelled, and I think many of them from that time period have either gotten canned or have moved onto other ventures by now. But when in doubt – don’t do anything that might sabotage future work opportunities, kids.

First “tea” they spill: the kids apparently “couldn’t talk to or see each other”, and were prevented from interacting with with other couples/pros when they weren’t filming group dances or intros. This was one of the few things they said that was news to me. And it may sound harsh (especially to kids, who are chatterboxes), but DWTSJ is not the first show I’ve heard of that has had this policy. I know the queens on Rupaul’s Drag Race are forbidden from talking to each other when the cameras aren’t rolling, because production wants to be able to catch any and all interactions to potentially use them on the show later. In the case of these kids, I honestly think it was just done to try (in vain) to prevent leaks – the less the kids are allowed to interact, the less they know, and the less they’re able to potentially leak to friends, the internet, etc. In the end, I think it was all for naught, because those kids were posting potentially spoiler-y pix on social media left and right, and lord knows I had zero issues getting spoilers from people who were in the audience at the tapings. NDA who? Don’t know her…

Second spot of tea: some of the parents were “kinda crazy”, or, as Sage put it “low-key psycho”. Ableist terminology notwithstanding, this was not really news to me – I had heard a few anecdotes about some of them being pushy stage parents, which isn’t really all that surprising when you take into account that many of them are acting as their kids’ de facto managers. I don’t know who specifically they are referring to when they talk about a mom “blowing up” on set and being “escorted out”, but my money’s on either Bristol Palin (Tripp’s mom) or “Mama June” Shannon (Alana’s mom). The former allegedly signed her kid up for the show without telling him, and he only found out on the day of his first rehearsal when Bristol dropped him off at the studio (I recall being told it was an awkward, tearful, and understandably tantrum-filled first meeting); the latter just struck me as a bit twitchy around that time, and I remember some lightly veiled threat she made to Artem & Tristan about “treating Alana appropriately” or something like that during their first meeting. I also recall June being arrested and then entering rehab for an ongoing drug problem a year or so after Juniors, so that could explain any potentially unhinged behavior she might have displayed on set.

Tea #3: Sage technically wasn’t allowed to be on the show. Can confirm – the age cutoff for the initial auditions in Jan/Feb of 2018 was 13, and Sage was already 14 at that point. That’s why I think a lot of readers were like “Who the heck is Sage Rosen?” when we first leaked the list of junior proshe wasn’t even one of the faces we saw at the auditions, because his age automatically disqualified him. However, I was told that once they got around to casting the actual kid celebs, it became obvious that they would clearly need someone a bit older for Kenzie – so Sage got the call, along with Jake Monreal, who I think had the advantage of being Jenna’s partner on SYTYCD two summers prior. Could also be “there just weren’t enough decent boy dancers”, like Elliana mentioned; if the only boys cast in the second audition went to the troupe, she must be referring to Cody Bingham and Sebastian Jozuka, who I think were both on the younger side and probably not ready for the responsibility of being pros.

Tea(ish?) numero quattro: the kids had to wear these super heavy mics they had to wear that were strapped on them like a waist trainer. Don’t recall hearing anything about those, probably because it’s what I’d consider a rather mundane detail that our readers wouldn’t be particularly interested in knowing.  But given how much attention the crew was paying to child labor laws, I’m a bit surprised they had the kids lugging around heavy, restrictive mic sets with the potential to burn them. Sage also talks about feeling like he couldn’t really say much because he was mic’d at all times – this could explain why I feel like he barely said 100 words all season long.

Spot of tea #5: Someone fell off the stage. I vaguely remember something along those lines being mentioned to me – but I think my source glossed over it as just a funny blooper where nobody got seriously hurt so it wasn’t really even worth mentioning. I will say that I always found that star-shaped stage to be an accident waiting to happen…I’ve been through enough OSHA audits to know that they really frown upon raised platforms without guardrails, let alone ones in awkward shapes. It being JT or Artyon sounds plausible – I recall hearing them described as two of the younger, more boisterous and spirited of the kid pros, and they had a LOT of energy.

Tea #6: They taped two shows per week.  Yep – we knew this. With the exception of the first week (when they only taped one episode), the couples would have Monday-Wednesday to learn and rehearse two dances, camera blocking would happen on Thursday, taping of one week’s show on Friday, taping of the subsequent week’s show on Saturday, and by law, all the kids had to have Sunday off. I think there was one week where they had to camera block AND tape an episode on a Thursday, and then the next one on Friday, because Kenzie had some commitment on Saturday of that week. They basically shot a full 9-week season in one month – the breakneck taping speed owing to the fact that they needed to wrap everything up before the kids had to head back to school in late August.

Tea #7: There were some partner changes. No news here – I remember being told originally that Makeila Lawrence was going to be a junior pro, then told about a week later that no, she had gotten moved to the troupe, because she was too tall for not only her partner, but the rest of the male junior celebs as well. What’s funny to me is that the crew seemed to not understand the fundamental difference in growth spurts between adolescent boys and girls – the girls have theirs a couple years before the boys do, so it’s not really all that unusual to have girls that tower over boys the same age. I feel like Miles was always supposed to be with Rylee, though, despite the height difference – or maybe I’m just projecting, since I predicted them as a partnership a full year before they even started casting Juniors 😉

Tea #8: Kids would cry in the skybox if they got bad scores. Um, duh. There were a lot of tears.  Probably because they were kids that hadn’t yet learned to manage their emotions in the same fashion as adults. Really shocking tea you’re dropping on us, guys 😉 But for what it’s worth – some those kids handled defeat far better than some of the adults we’ve had on DWTS.  I recall Akash being particularly gracious and mature when he got eliminated.

Final tea: The voting remotes were janky.  Again, nothing we didn’t already suspect – I had heard stories about them altogether not working and crew members hastily distributing pencil and paper to the audience, and suspicions that they probably weren’t working all that well for the remainder of the season. In the end, I doubt it mattered much – I remember people in the audience at the finale saying it was clear that Sky & JT were the favorites to win, and the fact that there was no cash prize means the show didn’t really have to worry so much about “voting integrity” like they do on the adult version.

Final thoughts? I’m guessing Sage needed content for his channel, and they didn’t have anything else going on – hence the room-temperature tea from a show that ended 3 years ago. It’s a little annoying to me that they seemed to paint the experience in a somewhat negative light, given that a lot of those kids seemed to be having the time of their life up there and I think it was probably the first big gig as a dancer that some of them booked; but hindsight is 20/20, so in retrospect, maybe they’re seeing the cracks. Oh well.

August 7, 2021 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

Did the “Dancing with the Stars” Judges “Hate” these Former Professional Dancers???

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this article that I saw today.  Lance Bass and Vivica Fox claim that the judges hated their pro partners.  Here’s a quote from the article in Entertainment Weekly – click the link to read the whole thing.

On Thursday night’s series premiere of E!’s Overserved With Lisa Vanderpump, the conversation between Fox, Bass, and Lisa Vanderpump turned to something they all have in common: the competitive dancing series.

“I made it to week four and I was a sore loser,” said Fox, adding that her partner Nick Kosovich was one of the “main reasons why we got kicked off.”

“You got to play the game,” she told the others. “My partner made too many requests.”


Bass went on to say that even after he and Schwimmer made it to the finale, the reception wasn’t great.

“We go have drinks at one of the judges’ houses and they had a little too much to drink and one of those judges was like, ‘You know we can’t stand your partner?'” said Bass. “I was like, ‘Why am I working my ass off then?'”

My thoughts? Well, I think it’s a possibility. Neither of these pros lasted a super long time on the series. But I’m not sure I agree with the reasoning that they “asked for too much” – Derek Hough, for one, asked for everything, as did Cheryl Burke. Both of those two, and possibly other pros from back in the say controlled everything related to a performance including the music, the costumes, the themes…..everything. There is video of Cheryl nixing a song for her partner and Derek has described just how much control he used to have over what his partner did. A lot. Of course there was still a ton of producers “producing” and manipulating the show. Perhaps it was a matter of HOW Derek and Cheryl and others “asked” for things?? But it’s still odd, because Cheryl seemed a bit rude in the clip, to me. I dunno. I think it’s very possible that those two pros were not well liked, but I’m not sure that the reason for the dislike is necessarily correct.

Thoughts??

March 19, 2021 I Written By

I'm a nerd and proud of it. Two degrees in geology also means I love BEER. :-) I'm also a Derek lover - proud of that too. So don't scream at those of us on this site and call us a bunch of "biased Derek-lovers" - it's just ME. :-) It may sound like I hate DWTS at times, but really, I'm just a snarky nitpicker from way back. And I'm cynical and jaded too. But I do love DWTS. :-)

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 10 – Power Rankings

I apologize for the atrocious lateness of these rankings – while I’ve been working remote at my 9-5 since mid-March, I actually had to go into my office this week for what’s called an “action workout”; for those not familiar with lean production practices, it’s basically utilizing employees as a sort of think tank to solve in-house problems. The problem being addressed: how we’re going to free up 25K sq feet of space for a new production line in our roughly 75K sq foot building. The upside? I am now going to be working remote permanently, owing to the fact that they need to annex quite a bit of office space on site 😉 The downside? A week’s worth of long, contentious discussions, me pretending to know how to work in CAD, countless Powerpoint presentations, and one very sh*tty cardboard and styrofoam 3D model 😛 But it was totally worth it for the knowledge that I won’t have a morning commute, I won’t have to get all dressed up every morning, I will have a lot more flexibility in my schedule, and when I scream into the void in frustration, nobody will complain (except maybe the dog and the cat) 🙂 Has anyone else’s employer had a peculiar change of heart about remote work since the pandemic hit? A colleague asked my boss back in January (before anyone was really taking COVID seriously) if she could work a few days per week from home, and he said (with a straight face) “No, we need you here, it’s impossible for your job to be done remotely!!!” Fast forward to March 16, when we all got pulled into a conference room and were told that any of us that had the means to do so should start working from home immediately due to COVID, but we should be cleared to return to the office by June; June comes and goes, and in July we’re told that we won’t be coming back to the office before October (at the earliest).  Then 2 weeks ago, suddenly the discussion turned to “So, how would you feel about working from home permanently? You’re cool with it? AWESOME! When can you come clean out your desk??? The subcontractors will be here Monday to start planning out the remodel!” Amazing how it took a pandemic to make my very old-fashioned employer see that working remote can be beneficial to both employer and employee. Read more..

November 21, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 9 – Power Rankings

Soooo…I can’t be the only one who went “Whoomp…there it is!” when they heard about Gleb’s divorce over the weekend 😛 It would not shock me to see Chrishell & Gleb getting papped together at some point in the near future, and I’m wondering if that’s part of the reason the show kept them around so long this season – perhaps the fleeting hope that they might get the chance to go public with a showmance? Who knows. Gleb’s divorce clearly wasn’t the biggest news this weekend, but I got a chuckle nonetheless 😉

So the face-offs went about like they have every other season: each face-off seemed to have one couple that went for technique while the other went for performance. And like most other seasons, the judges seemed to reward their points to the couple that needed them more (with the exception of whichever couple they were trying to oust – in this case, Nelly & Daniella). Also found it interesting that they seemed to make the celeb’s face-off costumes to match their first dances – not sure if this was done as a cost-saving measure or a time-saving one (or both), but I don’t know that we’ve seen anything like that before. Just curious.

In a move I don’t think most of us saw coming quite this soon, we lost AJ and Cheryl – a couple that many of us had predicted would win this season in our preseason poll. I think they were unfortunately just a sacrificial lamb – Nelly seemed to be the intended target for elimination this week, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going anywhere (and dancers that belong in the finale were falling into the bottom 2), the judges had to pivot; AJ just happened to have a bad day at the office when his Viennese waltz went off the rails, so I think he was the only logical choice. I’ll admit that I found myself a skosh disappointed with AJ this season – maybe my expectations were too high, maybe he just didn’t get the right choreo, maybe he got screwed with song and dance assignments, who knows. But I guess I just thought he would be someone who easily bested Nick Carter’s often-erratic performances, and instead I think he ended up only slightly better than Nick when you netted out all of his dances. Read more..

November 11, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 8 – Power Rankings

Generally, it was a pretty “meh” week. I don’t feel like anyone had any huge breakthroughs or astounding performances, and everyone was more or less in a holding pattern from the previous week. Or all the days are running together due to the pandemic, and the sense of impending doom I’m getting from the election is just dulling my senses. Both are equally plausible at this point.

As it usually happens at least once per season, Carrie Ann appointed herself the “critical” judge this week, and seemed to nitpick just about everyone, and Kaitlyn doubly. I feel like she pulls this shit right after she gets called out for giving generally dumb or just unhelpful feedback – in this case, it was her “I wasn’t feeling it” comment in response to Kaitlyn’s paso doble last week, which prompted both Artem and Val to speak up in the media about her lack of helpful feedback. It’s like she gets defensive to the point of having to prove that she’s a serious, tough dance judge with credentials, and ends up just looking petty because of the way she just reeeeeaches for stuff to pick at. It’s a not a good look, but it’s not like we haven’t know for YEARS that Carrie Ann was the least legitimate of the judges. And it did seem like Derek was trying to soften the blow after Carrie Ann went on her rampages – more often than not, he gave reassuring compliments, and was scoring a point or two higher than both Bruno & Carrie Ann. Caught a weird moment immediately after the bottom 2 were called – Derek and Bruno seemed to be gesturing towards one another as if to say “Well what do you think?” before glancing over at Carrie Ann, who seemed engrossed in a bunch of papers she was writing on and ignored them completely. WTF was she doing, filing a tax return??? The scores had long since been logged, not sure what was so important that she felt she needed to write it down before the elim…

Now with Chrishell gone, I don’t think there’s any truly crummy dancers left – which leaves us in an interesting position. One could probably argue that Nelly’s the weakest, but he’s still improving and he also appears to be quite popular, as he has yet to fall into the bottom two despite some harsh scores. On the flip side, both Johnny and Skai have been trending upward with scores in recent weeks, but both have been in the bottom 2 at least once. Then you’ve got Kaitlyn and AJ, who are good but seem to vacillate in a bit in terms of quality; and there’s Justina & Nev, who are consistent but not always super memorable to watch. Add to the mix the fact that we still don’t know how many couples are headed to the finale (I think five is a good number, as it’s the top 1/3 of contestants this season, but who knows), and I can’t really state with confidence who will be there and who won’t. I’d say this made me excited, but anymore, I’m struggling to feel passionate about this show – I’m afraid a lot of the magic died for me with Tom’s departure. Add Tyrant trying to fake cry about Jeannie for attention and I’m damn near changing the channel…ugh.

So we obviously bid farewell to Jeannie – which sucks, because she really was one of the most fun contestants to watch this season, and I loved how she vibed with Brandon.  But I’ve come to learn that one’s health is nothing to trifle with, so I’m glad she caught her ailment at such a crucial point and will likely make a full recovery. If I’m being honest, I had already predicted her as one half of the double elim in last week’s rankings, so I can’t say I’m terribly surprised…although the cause of her elimination is something I definitely wouldn’t have predicted. At the very least, Brandon made it further this season than he ever has before. Then we (finally) shook the dead weight of Chrishell & Gleb loose, which I felt was long overdue. The fact that Gleb had the audacity to pull out the damn bed as a prop FOR A VIENNESE WALTZ had my blood boiling, as did the fact that he once again managed to include the minimum possible number of steps needed to be considered a Viennese waltz and somehow got he and his partner another tongue bath for it. Then there was the suspicious convenience of Carrie Ann NOT calling them out for a lift (after specifically nitpicking Kaitlyn for something similar earlier in the night), and I was downright incredulous by the end of their critique and scoring. Seriously, I wanted to smack all three judges (Derek included) for their gushing.  Why did Chrishell get diplomatic immunity for most of the season??? That’s the real question.  And I think I finally figured out what it was about Chrishell that grated on my nerves: she’s a perpetual victim. I think the only week she didn’t play that card was 80s week, when her package dealt with her being an NKOTB fan. The rest of the time it was “I grew up poor!”, “I got divorced!”, “I had to freeze my eggs!”, “I’m sooooo busy as a real estate agent!” I think of all the other contestants this season, and while everyone had a week or two that was sad, for the most part, their packages all netted out to be generally pretty upbeat and positive. Chrishell’s seemed to be a laundry list of trauma and ways in which her life is hard. I don’t claim to know exactly how her divorce went down, or whose fault it was (as a kid of divorce, I’ve found its usually both spouses’ fault, to some degree), but after seeing her on this season of DWTS, I do think she’s a bit of a bullshit artist and is likely fibbing a bit when she gives the “I was completely blindsided!” line with regards to her divorce. And Gleb…well, y’all know how I feel about him. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly broken up about it when the judges opted to save Skai & Alan over Chrishell & Gleb 😉 Read more..

November 4, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 7 – Power Rankings

Well, I guess I’m glad they at least mixed things up a bit for Halloween this year – rather than the standard fare of vampires, monsters, ghosts, etc. and horrifically overused songs like the themes from Ghostbusters and The Addams Family, we at least got some new material to work with; the downside of it appeared to be taking some creative license and shoehorning some songs/styles to fit themes. Seems like they had a handful of random songs that they somehow paired (with mixed results) to a list of villains they had cleared, and then picked a dance style that the couple hadn’t done that (sort of) fit the song. I found it somewhat interesting that all but two couples ended up with tango or paso doble as their style; the two who didn’t happened to be the only two couples who had ever been in the bottom two. Not sure if they were banking on those two being in the bottom two again or what, but it was just a bit of a strange coincidence to me.

As of last week, I was unsure as to what to expect as we edged closer to the finale; this week, I’m still not 100% sure, but at the very least the judges weren’t afraid to drop the hammer on some of those who weren’t up-to-snuff. I’m still wondering if we end up with a six-couple finale or an 11-week season – we still have (9) couples left now, with an impending double-elim this coming week; there’s been no mention of an additional double elimination in week 9, so I tend to think that will just be a single. That would leave us with a six-couple finale; however, given the current fluid state of affairs in pandemic tv scheduling, I think it’s possible the network might give us an extra week (since the show would still wrap before Thanksgiving), in which case another elimination (or a double) in week 10 could leave us with a five or four-couple finale, which seems a bit more manageable. Who should be in the finale? In terms of consistency, I think Kaitlyn, Nev, Johnny, & Justine deserve to be there; however, I think Nelly, Skai, and/or AJ could all potentially play spoiler to one of the four I mentioned making the finale. If the judges are still on their bullish*t, Chrishell could probably be in the mix as well…god, I hope she isn’t, but the bar is on the floor in terms of anything in 2020 turning out like it should.

So after what felt like an eternity of the judges gushing disingenuously over just-ok performances, they did a complete 180 and decided to go all in critiquing Monica’s dance this week – and honestly, I don’t think it was undeserved. As I’ve repeated ad infinitum since probably week 2 (and as some uppity Monica fans seem to forget when they accuse me of “hating” on Monica), Monica’s problem has never been her dancing; it’s in her performance-quality, or lack thereof. She can technically nail the steps, but completely fail on selling it to the point where I just tune out because it’s so dreadfully boring. I also felt like the tone of her performance this week was just totally wrong (although I tend to blame Val/TPTB for that): Nurse Ratched is a cold authoritarian, not a seductress. For someone that had no prior knowledge of source material, one might assume from Monica’s performance that the character is a femme fatale of sorts; but sex appeal is not part of Nurse Ratched’s arsenal – psychological manipulation and general bullying are more her forte. Then there was the matter of her costume giving me more Britney Spears’ naughty flight attendant in the “Toxic” video vibes than nurse vibes, and we’ve got a performance that just kinda fizzled, unfortunately. I guess the judges finally decided this week that they couldn’t protect Monica forever, and needed to focus on saving the really strong dancers (like Johnny, who fell into the bottom 2 last week) for the finale – so Monica got the chop. And I think Monica was cool with it – her comfort zone is behind the mat, directing her squad on their performance; I don’t think she ever quite got used to being the one actually performing.

Read more..

October 28, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 6 – Power Rankings

Just for the record – I really have no idea what I’m doing anymore 😛

I mean, I obviously know how to write, and I know how to look at dances and determine whether they are decent or not; I guess I mean the conclusions I’m drawing are basically a roll of the dice these days, because the results of this show aren’t really making much sense to me anymore. In what universe does an Olympic figure skater somehow tumble into the bottom two with a Superbowl champ, while reality stars with marginal dance skills end up safe??? Last night’s results would have been unheard of ten years ago on this show – hell, even three years ago on this show. Granted, Vernon was not as adept as the majority of the NFL players we’ve had on this show, and Johnny got RIDICULOUSLY low-balled on his score this week – but I guess the only conclusion I can reasonably draw is that not many people are actually voting (or voting consistently), and it’s causing the results to become unpredictable from time to time. There’s also the fact that you can now vote ten times PER COUPLE, per voting method, which I think is muddling things – where people used to have to put all their eggs in one basket, they can now put the same amount of eggs in multiple baskets; this only adds to the total number of points (and thus diminishes the power of each vote) and just seems to result in the needle not moving as much when you combine scores and votes. Add to this the fact that TPTB seem intent on keeping Monica (or Val) around despite a mediocre performance thus far, and I’m not sure what to make of things anymore. I feel like the “perpetual present” that the pandemic has left us all stuck in is seeping into every aspect of my life: it’s hard to think about what’s going to happen in the future, when each day just seems like an interminable NOW with no end in sight. Christ, this pandemic has made me nihilistic.

So we’re past the halfway point of the season, and we’ve eliminated 1/3 of the cast – so what type of narrative seems to be taking shape for the finale? Hard to say. For once, I don’t feel confident claiming any one person will for sure win – I tend to think Kaitlyn (and probably AJ, too – unless they fall into the bottom together) are likely going to get saved by the judges no matter what, but when it comes to winning…all bets are off. Will Nev make the finals? Maybe…maybe not. Nelly, Justina, and Jeannie are all big question marks for me, too – I think it’s equally possible that any of them make the finals or get eliminated just short of them. My gut says they can’t protect Monica forever, and if Skai keeps having off-weeks, I don’t think she sticks around, either. No idea what to make of Chrishell anymore, as it feels like Gleb could walk center stage and take a dump and still get glowing reviews for their routine. And is Johnny being set up as a shock elim in the coming weeks??? Could be…or last night could have been an anomaly. And despite Derek usually making the right call, my confidence in the judges this season choosing the correct couple when saving from the bottom two has waned – I tend to think they may be getting instructed to “make things interesting” from the control room, and may vote in a way that they wouldn’t normally. Hence, Carrie Ann’s (downright idiotic) choice to save Vernon & Peta over Johnny & Britt.

So Derek graced the DWTS stage for the first time in 3 years, and I daresay that was probably the only glimmer of hope DWTS has for a possible choreo Emmy nomination next summer – and given that perennial heavy-hitter SYTYCD did not air this year, it’s possible DWTS could eke out a nod along with some of the routines from World of Dance. Or who knows, maybe they won’t even bother to nominate anyone in that category – seems like a very 2020 outcome 😉 Loved this paso, and it felt like the culmination of all the years Derek spent using DWTS and the MOVE tours as a “test kitchen” for some of his wilder choreography ideas. Paso was always his favorite dance to choreograph, so the choice made sense; it was also nice to see how far Hayley has come in her ballroom and Latin technique, as some of her early days dabbling in it were a bit…shaky. I daresay her Latin technique bests Allison’s now, though, so if they ever went shopping for female pros again in the future (if there is one…), I think she’s a logical choice.

As most of us had predicted, Vernon left us this week – and while it was disappointing, I caught a bit of his GMA appearance this morning, and he seemed to have a very upbeat attitude about his elim, and was generally grateful for the experience. I think he had plateaued in terms of his dancing, too, so I don’t know that he would have fared well when they would have started doing 2+ dances per week. Glad he got to go out on a positive note, though – his cha-cha was a fun tribute to his grandpa and I think he had a lot of fun. Read more..

October 21, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 5 – Power Rankings

Soooo…I can’t be the only one who wonders what the Russian pros (minus Artem, he’s an angel) did to piss off the hair department this week, right? 😛 What in the name of Party City Clearance Bin was on Gleb & Val’s heads??? I think the conclusion Mama Spence and I came to was some unholy abomination born of Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride, the owner of the Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders, and this man looking for love in an 80’s dating service video:

 

Alan only got off marginally better than the other two, with what looks to be a discount version of Vicki Lawrence’s wig from Mama’s Family:

I don’t know if Tyrant is becoming more tolerable, or if everything else in this year is such a flaming dumpster fire by comparison and I’m just getting used to her particular brand of annoyance, but I found her MILDLY less annoying this week. MILDLY. But I will say I found it super-duper sketch when she brought up the whole elimination gaffe from last week again, and it makes me wonder if there’s more to it than simply being a control room “whoops”. Sis seemed awfully defensive about it, and eager to “set the record straight” – to which I say “Sure, Jan.” And so far, everyone that has fallen into the bottom two and been saved has ended up in the bottom two again and gotten flushed out the following week. But this week, Monica manages to avoid it altogether, owing to some awfully generous scoring for what I would consider a fairly weak tango? Just makes my brain itch. I don’t know to what end strings are being pulled, but it just adds to the stench of this season for me.

Well, in the aforementioned unexpected twist, Monica managed to stay completely safe this week, and it was Vernon and Jesse who took a tumble into the “Danger Zone” (seriously – of all the songs they could have resurrected for 80’s week, why not this one???).  Jesse was ultimately flushed out in a unanimous vote by the judges, and while I feel like he had plateaued (and even backslid) in the past two weeks, I am still a skosh disappointed that we lost him, because I do feel like he was trying; I feel like the one thing that gave Vernon a leg up over him, though, is that Vernon seems to take criticism from the judges and let it fuel him, while Jesse only seemed drained by it. Maybe it was for the best that he left sooner rather than later, as the weekly criticism seemed to be taking its toll on Jesse; but it still irks me that he and Sharna got screwed with music at least half the time, and I feel like that did play a major role in some of their dances being a bit lackluster. Their song this week had some really strange tempo changes that even Mama Spence noticed (and she will be the first to tell you she lacks all rhythm), so I’m inclined to cut them a bit of a break for some of their more awkward routines.

Given that it was a theme week, we of course had some songs that weren’t ideal for the dance that was being done to them, and most of the pros had to sacrifice a bit of content in favor of upholding the “spirit” of 80’s week…so I’m being a bit more lenient on filler/time wasters this week. I also have beaucoup gifs this week, so bear with me 😉 Read more..

October 13, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.

PureDWTS Season 29, Week 4 – Power Rankings

So what are we gonna call last night? “Special Dance That is Meaningful to Some of the Contestants” night, sponsored by The Backstreet Boys(TM)?

Honestly, without a unifying theme (and with Tyrant just repeating “special and emotional dances”), it felt a bit aimless last night – you had contestants like Skai and Anne giving very emotionally charged stories and performances, and then you had Monica and Nelly half-heartedly dancing along to songs they didn’t even seem to like. Should have just called it “Most Memorable Year” or “Personal Story” week and let that guide things.

So that aimlessness spilled over into the elimination, which we had plenty of time for, but which somehow still got royally FUBAR’d. While I agree with Heidi’s sentiment that Tyrant was marginally less annoying last night than in previous weeks, all that went out the window for me the minute she started screeching “My cards were wrong! It’s the control room’s fault!” when the big elimination gaffe was revealed. All I could think was “Bergeron would have never thrown the crew under the bus like that.” He would have made some cool, off-the-cuff quip about live television that made us all chuckle, and then moved right along with adjusting course to correct the error. And then once it was made clear that the correct bottom two were Anne and Keo and Monica and Val, she barked at the judges to hurry up an render a verdict, so she had more time to yap about 80s night as the credits rolled. If it wasn’t clear before, it’s abundantly clear now: Tyrant is only ever looking out for number 1.

So we lost Anne and Keo, and that was the first elimination this season that left me feeling disappointed. There was something so refreshing about Anne’s performances – she always seemed to commit fully, and just let her flag fly out on the floor. And she always hyped up Keo, which I appreciate 🙂 And while her story about getting blackballed for dating Ellen back in the day is absolutely heartbreaking, there’s another infuriating layer to the story that didn’t get mentioned: Weinstein actually exposed himself to her and demanded sex around the same time, and then blackballed her further when she rejected him. That poor woman couldn’t get a decent job in Hollywood for YEARS as a result of the one-two punch of the Ellen relationship fallout and Weinstein being Weinstein, unchecked. Overall, I’m glad she was on this season (and I’m glad she got to tell her story), but there were other couples I would have gladly sent home first…it is what it is. Read more..

October 6, 2020 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble.