Dancing with the Stars Season 28, Week 1 – LIVE BLOG

Wow. It’s been quite a while since I’ve had to do one of these. Wonder if I’m still snarky….

…yeah. Probably. 🙂

So, according to George Pennachio (via Courtney), this is the dance order:
Hannah Brown
Kel Mitchell
Kate Flannery
Lamar Odom
Lauren Alaina
Sailor Brinkley Cook
Karamo Brown
Ray Lewis
Mary Wilson
Ally Brooke
Sean Spicer
James Van Der Beek

Most of these folks are pretty natural in this interview opener. 🙂 Good to know that both Hannah and Lauren are self-described messes.

TOM!! I love you. I’ve missed you.

So thrilled to see they still feel the need to put Val front and center. gag.

I love the new look actually. Very pretty, IMO.

Hannah and Kate both looking beautiful. Not a fan of Lauren’s dress. Sailor already bugs. Wow, Mary!!

Bwahahahaha….that’s just mean, putting SS in lime green ruffles. Ah, he deserves it.

One of the bad things about Sharna being missing is that there are too many damn blonde pros. Daniella puts them all to shame, and very obviously.

I didn’t find the pro/partner mystery all that exciting or problematic. Hannah up first! This dress outside the Bachelor mansion is cute. Chris Harrison is still a total cheeseball, as is this opening.

British voice guy!!! It’s British voice guy! Okay, Hannah cold be a contender – for fun flirty dances. True test will be when she’s not allowed to break out that big smile.

Uh, ain’t none of the people in the shot from Bachelor in Paradise.

Judges are going to be stricter than usual, more recognizable steps. He says she’s crisp, clean confident and a bit unsteady at times. Agreed. I thought she did great.

Bruno being bruno. He tells her not to lose balance. CAI wants to see technique, says she had a lot of that – great way to start.

Hannah gets a 20 (7, 7, 6). Keep fighting the idiots trying to force a showmance, Hannah.

Get Bobby Brown off the damn camera, please.

Kel Mitchell is up next, partnered with…Witney!! They’re a cute little pair. Packages are toooo short.

This dude looks pretty good too. He stiffened up a bit halfway through. Dances are too short also. Good job. Of course, week two is the real test.

Bruno says he has focus and determination and that it was a real tango. Says he’s a little too jumpy and he went on the wrong foot.

CAI says she’s very excited because it’s only week 1 and he did well. And she’s CAI.

Len says he liked the attack and the attitude, he would have liked more heel leads and keeping it at a steady pace. He says the hold got loose – that might have been what I was seeing, loss of frame. Len says he has potential.

Kellito. LOL. Kel interupted Kellito.

Scores: 6, 5, 5 for a total of 16. Not terrible.

Next up is Kate – who I expect to be hilarious. Her partner is…Pasha. Sorry, I know him as Daniella’s husband. That woman is the most amazing dancer I’ve ever seen. Interesting start. She’s stiff through her body, but that’s to be expected. Smile girl! Not horrible, but pretty stiff. We’ll see if she loosens up as she goes along.

CAI says that was really good, she was surefooted, her movements are clear and defined. Great first dance. Hm.

Len says he put a “natural top” in the dance and he hasn’t seen that in donkey’s years (ha). He says she needs to straighten her legs. Her attitude is terrific.

Bruno says she can run his office any time. She needs to be careful to finish the move, with a sharp ending.

Very nice comments, but I’m afraid she’s going to be let down by the scores.

Scores: 5, 5, 5 for a total of 15. I think that’s a fair score.

Lamar up next, partnered with Peta. Girl, what are you wearing?

Love me a foxtrot. Lamar off to a good start. He’s just so big it’s going to be challenging. Jesus, the camera work still sucks. Go for a shot of Lamar’s face and there’s no sign of Peta. All in all I think he did pretty good.

Len says he did terrific job in spite of the height difference. Needed more smoothness and elegance. Lacked finesse.

Bruno says he got some nice lines at the beginning. Focusing too hard on the moves. Don’t over think it.

CAI disagrees with the men, says she was thoroughly impressed. Totally new to him but he listened to Peta and stood up straight. Great job.

Scores: 5, 3, 3 for a total of 11. I guess they weren’t kidding with the idea of scoring tougher. As long as they are that hard on everyone who deserves it.

Oh god, just what we need – more Bobby Bones :::gag::: Thanks Tom for pointing out his controversy. I like Lauren, but if Bobby is pimping her she sure don’t need my vote.

She’s partnered with Gleb so there’s a reason to feel sorry for her. Maybe dude will up his game this season? He’s had chances before.

Of course he’s the first to use extra dancers. I was hoping we had seen the last of that. She’s doing very well! She needs to focus on finishing her moves. But all in all she did very well. Good job.

Bruno – sultry southern bell giving a steamy cha cha the way he likes it. A couple nice finishes but she over walks her knees, over extended. Overall very polished performance.

CAI says Gleb took a risk with the choreography but she thinks it paid off in that it gave her confidences. Says she’s a little loose.

Len – the difficulty with Cha cha is you should have sharpness. Too long winded in the non-cha cha parts.

Scores: 7, 6, 6 for a 19 and she moves into second place. She earned it.

Gee, Gleb has first use of extra dancers and Val has first use of props. :::rolls eyes:::

Betting is saying that Sailor gets the high score of the night – good story line. And of course it’s Uptown Girl.

Yeah, she tripped over his foot. Sailor steps in -says she’s never danced before, but rumors say otherwise. Anyone got the deets??

Wasn’t it Derek and Jennie danced to this song. Yep. Nothing more to say. Poor Sailor’s feet were all wrong at the start but she seems to pull it together towards the end. But the very end was really weird. Not sure what was supposed to happen there.

CAI says she’s blown away and gushes, in general.

Len says with only three day that she floated his boat. A bit stumpy and a bit more body contact. Thank god for Len. Shit happens, you shouldn’t get 7s just out of pity. Not fair to the other contestants.

Bruno jealous of Christie’s…everything. Says Sailor has the looks and everything – just general gushing again.

Take your calcium, ladies.

Scores: 6, 6, 6 for a total of 18.

Karamo is up next. He’s very handsome. He’s dancing with Jenna. And both are very happy about it. 🙂

Jesus god…talk about screwing up a great dance with shitty camera work. Good lord. Anyway, he’s excellent and Jenna does him right with the choreography. That was really good.

Len says it was disappointing?? Not enough hip action? I swear the man has a problem with certain people. I see something of a pattern. :::cough:::

CAI says he needs to pop. That it was underwhelming? Seriously?? Did I watch a different dance?

Scores: 6, 5, 6, for a total of 17. I think that was pretty underscored. I think he was better than Sailor at least.

Ray and Cheryl up next. His opening moves are very Cheryl and Ray. Get him pumped ups in his comfort zone. Cheryl still got it. When the playing field is level, she’s one of the best. She knows how to work with a footballer. Pretty darn good job, I must say!

Bruno is thrilled, but points out he had a mis-step – fantastic and charismatic.

CAI also liked the entrance and said it was pretty darn good. Agreed.

Len – couple of mistakes but great job.

Scores: 5, 5, 5 for a total of 15. Underscored, IMO. No credit for just OWNING it??

If they’re short on time now, what the hell is going to happen next week when there is an elimination?? Yeah, the Brits from SCD ain’t used to the whole commercial thing.

Mary up next…damn she looks great at 75. She’s partnered with Brandon. She thinks he’s cute. They’re doing a foxtrot. She’s gonna be funny.

Classy start. She’s moving very well. I don’t think there’s that much start and stop in foxtrot. But dang she’s doing well and seems to be having a blast. She selling it! Great job.

CAI – true elegance and true sophistication. A few mistakes, but if that’s how you’re starting. Very exciting.

Len – wishes he could do a foxtrot as well as she did.

Bruno – star struck. She knows how to sell it and she did a heel turn. Well done.

Scores; 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17 – well deserved in my opinion. Good job, Brandon.

Ally Brooke is up next with Sasha. Off to a hot start. Some interesting choreography from Sasha. She’s doing very well and I like her so far. She’s clearly NOT the worst dancer from Fifth Harmony – she’s a ringer, but Sasha doesn’t get those on the regular.

Len – too much Beyonce for him and they got in each other’s way a bit. She’s a very competent dancer though.

Bruno – loved the attack, the flair, but she gets a bit muddled. Needs to be on the music.

CAI – Lacking some balance – very sexy, very wild, got to reign it in but she has lots of potential.

What, running long now?? Geez. Lauren and Ally have really bonded – lots of big hugs tonight.

Scores: 5, 5, 6 for a total of 16 which is underscored in my opinion. Tom’s making no excuses for them at all.

Don’t be surprised if I say as little as possible about this next dancer. And don’t expect me to be anything close to a fan or positive or forgiving.

Next up, ______, dancing with Lindsay. Poor, poor Lindsay. One dimension…bad dimension. Pre-pre-school level of dance ability. LOL.

Spice girls. LOL.

We gonna start crying fake news now?

Scores: 4, 4, 4 for a total of 12. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why Lamar got a 3. It’s called precedent. The cult can’t cry. Well, they still will, but you get my drift.

LOL to James gorgeous blonde children. 🙂 Love me some Emma.

Wow. James has some moves. And he’s handsome. 🙂 Okay, a f@#king tango that pretty much kicked ass. We have a serious contender here. Sexy ending too!!

CAI – style, technique and flavor.

Len – little bit more compact in the hold, had drive, had purpose, terrific number

Bruno – so strong, so passionate, so charismatic. In character and in control the whole time. Great.

Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 and he moves into first place.

I was never a fan back in the day but he’s really grown into his looks. So handsome.

Well, what do you all think? I like most of the cast right now but I think my favorites are the two at the top of the leaderboard. That could change. What do you think?

P.S. Tune in this week for Courtney’s Power Rankings and my Dancing by the Numbers – I might have to revise my methods depending on what they’re going to do with the eliminations. I’m wondering if they’re going to give the judges more weight or just a judges save. Or do a SYTYC dance-style save of one couple from the bottom three. That would work. Stay tuned for Vogue also, with her many media posts.