Now that we’ve got your attention , sorry to burst your bubble – but Heidi & I will not actually be singing the 80s. Sowwwwy But since we fancy ourselves 80s music enthusiasts (Heidi lived through all of them, and I lived through half…and I also got a big refresher during my Greek years in college), we thought we’d sit down and kick around a few ideas about what we can expect to see next week in the way of music, costuming, gimmicks, etc. Cause let’s face it: the 80s were effin’ RAD. 8) For those of you not fortunate enough to experience the decade of excess, please do the following before reading through this 80s primer: go watch Pretty in Pink & The Wedding Singer; run to the beauty supply store and pick up a crimping iron, a teasing comb, and some Aquanet; rent a Delorean for the weekend; and practice your moonwalk. Done that? Cowabunga!!! Read on…

Courtney: Not gonna lie: I am all kinds of pumped for this theme week Seriously, I’m gonna be like a kid on Christmas morning come Monday…I <3 the 80s! Ok, I think it’s safe to say that crimped & teased hair, scrunchies, acid-wash jeans, neon-rimmed sunglasses, parachute pants, and anything Michael Jackson-inspired are going to be par for the course next week.  Man, Mark would have had a costumegasm if he & Kristin had stuck around till next week! Oh, just think of the cheese…now I kinda wish that goober was still around

Heidi: Since when has Mark needed an 80′s theme in order to dress cray cray??  Seriously though, Hope has Tango to a Bon Jovi song and Len’s been mean to her. I forsee a rocketship to the top of the leaderboard for her.  But which Bon Jovi?? You Give Love A Bad Name??  That sounds like a Tango to me.  Sounds like a sure thing to me.  Didn’t Derek choreograph a team dance to that song?? Or was it a similar one?   Anyway, just spare me from anything by Christopher Cross. Yuck.

Courtney: Ewwww….”Sailing”. I think I’d laugh my ass off if that’s what they stuck Rob with for his rumba But anywho…”You Give Love a Bad Name” makes sense. It was indeed the team tango in season 9, and it won. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up dittoing a bunch of 80s songs they’ve used in the past, to save $$$ on clearing the song rights. They did the same thing for a lot of the theme weeks last season. So by the same token, David & Kym, who also have the tango this week, could end up with “Simply Irresistible” like Emmitt & Cheryl, or “Jessie’s Girl” like Apolo & Julianne. Oh Rick Springfield…you used to be so dreamy. What the hell happened??? But once again, I digress. You know what would actually make a badass 80s tango? Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted”. Legit tango rhythm and aggressive mood…with a dash of 80s day-glo. Oh yeeeeeah. 8)

Heidi: I dunno, I think they have to pay every time they want to use a song, whether they’ve used it before or not. A few of Anna and Evan’s dances were left off one of those “Top 10 Dances” things specifically because they couldn’t clear the songs again. But I digress…”You Give Love A Bad Name” had Derek as choreographer, so we’ll see. I predict right now that they give Derek like an 80′s commercial to choreograph…or something from the Muppets. “You pulled off Psycho, so let’s see what you can do with this! HA!” Or, I know – a Foxtrot to Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell”. Let’s challenge the boy. Because, as you and I discussed, the big story this week is going to be “Hope Solo comes from behind to claim the top of the leaderboard!!! She listened to Len!! She’s now a CONTENDER!!” What will really be interesting to see is what they do to JR – are they gonna relent on him and give him kudos or are they going to try to sabotage him as well?? You know, ain’t nothing better than the DRAMA on DWTS!! Let’s see….a Samba to “Walk Like an Egyptian”. No, that would actually be GOOD. How about…The Cars, “Shake it Up”. Dang, that might be good too….

Courtney: …how bout “Down Under” by Men at Work? Or “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats? The latter could be a frakkin’ RIOT. What’s 80′s night without at least one positively uncool dance craze song??? And any pro who could effectively fuse the samba with the safety dance could potentially reach Derek Hough-level genius status Now while I think it’s equally possible that Chaz & Lacey, who also have samba (hmmm…hard dance…), could have one of the songs mentioned above, I would absolutely crap my pants with happiness if they samba-ed to “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” by Culture Club. Boy George is like a walking 80s-gasm. But really & truly, I think Chaz is gonna need a really good song to play off of, because I just don’t see him excelling at the samba…and I’m sure there definitely a bit of a strategy in giving him samba this week. *sigh* But let’s move onto rumba. Both Rob & Nancy have it; what songs do you have up the sleeve of your Members Only jacket for them, Heidi? 8)

Heidi: Is A-Ha’s Take On Me too fast? God, that was the most innovative video of that time and that guy was HOOTTTTT!! How about anything from Talking Heads “Little Creatures” album?? None of them are very rumba-y but oh how I love me some Heads. Or…hehehe…Burnin’ Down the House! A different kind of rumba!! Or “Beds are Burning” by Midnight Oil. What does this say about my thoughts on love? Oooohhh…Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House. The problem with this game we’re playing here is that I’m not a good judge of what would really make a good song for a rumba or a samba….and I am all about Talking Heads, Billy Idol, Adam Ant, Crowded House, INXS….well, the list is long and not very rumba-y unless Billy Idols “Dancing with Myself” works. “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police??

Courtney: Errr…some of those could work…for a very unconventional rumba But think more along the lines of Spandau Ballet’s “True” or Cheap Trick’s “The Flame”.

Heidi: Tainted Love? Heh. Just kidding. Sort of. …”touch me please, I cannot stand the way you teeeaaasseee….”

Courtney: Maybe for a tango? Idk…but that song rocks nonetheless! Ok, maybe it’s time to move onto the jive…I honestly think there’s no song more perfect for Carson than “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham, even though they already used it for Stacy & Tony’s jive in season 2. Perhaps I’m stereotyping a bit, but the bouncy goofiness of that song, paired with all the ridiculous costuming possibilities it opens up, could be a recipe for hilarity! I’ve always wanted to hear Poison’s “Talk Dirty to Me” as a jive on the show, but methinks maybe that would be a bit awkward for Carson & Anna…

Heidi:  Before we move on to the Jive, can I also say…NO Air Supply.  No no no.  Okay, so even though I think this song was heavily over played, how about “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” for a jive?? I love Billy Joel but that is probably my least favorite of his catalog…but has it been used already?  Or am I thinking of Jennie’s Uptown Girl Cha cha??  Oh, flashback to the Rumba!! How about “Waiting for a Girl Like You” by Foreigner??  Tell us, Courtney how do you feel about Foreigner?  And while we’re sharing I also have to prohibit anything by Asia…and add that anything by The Police or Prince is okay by me as well.  :-)

Courtney: To answer your question, Heidi – I effin’ LOVE Foreigner, and for any of you that don’t…go eat a bug And Air Supply is no bueno…buncha whiny, corny schlock. Oh dear…I’m afraid you’ve let me down long-lost twin sis…”It’s Still Rock & Roll To Me” was the DaD jive from season 11…the one that Derek was in? And Cheryl? And for which you were heading up efforts at PDH in order to get both of them cast in? *SMH* Anyway…I concur about Prince & The Police.  There hasn’t been nearly enough of the Purple One on this show…I demand a rumba to “Purple Rain”! And I’d really like to see a tango to the ORIGINAL “Roxanne” by the Police…NOT the Moulin Rouge version.  I’ve gotta say, though – I am sorely, sorely disappointed that there are no 80s paso dobles this week…you guys know I’d drop dead of sheer joy if someone ever did a paso doble to “Sunglasses at Night” 8) But alas, I am unsatisfied yet again. *sniff*Maybe next season…but nonetheless, I think we’re in for a fun night of delightfully tacky, gnarly 80s action on Monday.  Still debating…should I wear my Prince shirt or my Van Halen shirt to watch the show on Monday night? Decisions, decisions…

Heidi: Well, as I always say – I ain’t the fangirl that some like to believe, although it’s certainly convenient for some to believe that.  And that wasn’t no frackin’ jive either, dag nabbit.  That was a slow jive/cha cha cha – I think that’s what Cheryl called it. Talk about inappropriate songs for a Jive!!!  What was I thinking!! Temporary insanity!!  Ah Prince – Derek and Nicole’s Prince Cha Cha was awesome. Of course, my favorite part was the butt smacking ending. Go figure. This post is revealing a tad too much about the inner workings of my brain.  As for your choice of attire for Monday night??  I think Van Halen is likely the strongest anti-Asia, anti-Air Supply, anti-Chris Cross vibe you can get, so I would go with that.  Heh – the final thought running through my head after this post is….”oh mickey yer so fine, yer so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey!!  Hey Mickey!!”

Tune in tomorrow to see what the songs REALLY are.  ”Who’s Dancing What…” Look for it.